The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

214 THE TIBETAN BOOK OF LIVING AND DYINGwhen faced with terminal illness, feel terrified that they are simplygoing to be thrown away like useless goods. In Tibet it wasa natural response to pray for the dying and to give them spiritualcare; in the West the only spiritual attention that the majoritypay to the dying is to go to their funeral.At the moment of their greatest vulnerability, then, peoplein our world are abandoned and left almost totally withoutsupport or insight. This is a tragic and humiliating state ofaffairs, which must change. All of the modern world's pretensionsto power and success will ring hollow until everyone candie in this culture with some measure of true peace, and untilat least some effort is made to ensure this is possible.BY THE BEDSIDE OF THE DYINGA friend of mine, who had just graduated from a famousmedical school, started work at one of the larger London hospitals.On her very first day on the ward, four or five peopledied. It was a terrible shock for her; nothing in her traininghad equipped her to deal with it at all. Isn't this astonishing,considering she was being trained to be a doctor? One oldman was lying in his bed, staring at the wall. He was alone,with no family or friends to visit him, and he was desperatefor someone to talk to. She went over to him. His eyes filledwith tears and his voice trembled as he asked her the lastquestion she expected to hear: "Do you think God will everforgive me for my sins?" My friend had no idea at all how torespond; her training had left her completely unprepared forany spiritual questions. She had nothing to say; all she had tohide behind was her professional status as a doctor. There wasno chaplain close by, so she just stood there, paralyzed, unableto answer her patient's desperate call for help and for reassuranceabout the meaning of his life.She asked me, in her pain and bewilderment: "What wouldyou have done?" I said to her I would have sat by his side,held his hand, and let him talk. I have been amazed again andagain by how, if you just let people talk, giving them yourcomplete and compassionate attention, they will say things ofa surprising spiritual depth, even when they think they don'thave any spiritual beliefs. Everyone has their own life wisdom,and when you let a person talk you allow this life wisdom toemerge. I have often been very moved by how you can helppeople to help themselves by helping them to discover their owntruth, a truth whose richness, sweetness, and profundity they