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“Every child is an artist. The problem is how toremain an artist once he grows up.” Pablo PicassoUnlearn. Unstick. Unleash. Be.Photo: Alistair McGrath2
PrefaceMy StorySo, what do you do? For the past 12+ years I was an execu;ve in corporate America. In March, a United Airlines flight that went horribly wrong for this million mile flyer woke me up to the fact that I needed to make a change. And I did. I fired myself as chief strategist for Cisco Canada. Cisco was a great ride where I worked with many brilliant people (and some assholes too). I am grateful for the opportunity to work on some incredible global teams solving big, hairy problems for the company. I am now living the next chapter of my life.Why Seth? One of the first emails I read every morning is wriNen by Seth Godin. I enjoy his short poignant blog posts because they make me think and take ac;on (and oQen simply smile). I am not a groupie. I live my life blazing trails and connec;ng with real people who want to make a dent in the universe. So when I received the invite to Seth’s Revolu;on weekend, it intrigued me but I didn’t sign up right away. And then when I received a reminder, I decided to invest in myself. I was curious about spending a weekend with people who were at the same place as me. Part of the aNrac;on was experiencing Seth's world and the other was connec;ng with likeminded individuals.Why write this? The Revolu;on Weekend was a great experience because of the people and the conversa;ons that took place. By the end of the first day, I realized I wasn’t stuck at all. Instead of focusing on myself, I watched and listened as Seth helped people get unstuck by seeing how ready they were to do the hard work. As I was summarizing my notes to share with my friends, my own voice emerged and I started wri;ng. I realized that I needed to unleash my desire to help others have the courage to face the "monster in their head" that too oQen, paralyzes us. My hope is that it provokes you to get to where you want to be and find the courage to live a full life with no regrets.So what are you doing? I work with leaders who want to do “shit that maNers” in their organiza;ons. I am working with people who love to experiment and create by facilita;ng workshops, talks and providing coaching services.Unlearn. Unstick. Unleash. Be.Photo: Romanus Berg“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo da Vinci<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>3
About<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>Why are we so obsessed with the rules? Why do we seek out other people's 7-‐step program and toolkits on how to work and live? So many people are stuck in doing what is expected, wai;ng to fit in and wai;ng for someone else to validate them. It probably comes from the school system where for the very first ;me, our behavior and performance is graded on a scale from 1 to 5 or A to F. We are introduced to the mainstream with the dreaded bell curve of how we rate compared to other kids. We get condi;oned to fit into the standards of what is expected.Ge^ng <strong>Unstuck</strong> is divided into sec;ons that can be read in whatever order you want. There are no rules and no page numbers. There are many links that will take you to sources of informa;on.Unlearn talks about why connec;ons, conversa;ons and trusted rela;onships are increasingly important. Unlearning focuses on shedding old ways that are no longer relevant.Uns)ck looks at what gets in our way and why we may need to choose to do the hard work.Unleash discusses the world of abundance and our opportunity to unleash our voice and make our ideas a reality. It's about crea;ng what maNers to you.Be is about making a conscious decision to work on that hard problem we want to solve. If you feel you are not stuck, you may already be there.Ge^ng <strong>Unstuck</strong> with Seth Godin is a summary of the wisdom Seth shared with us and includes some of his insights to problems workshop par;cipants shared.As you read Ge^ng <strong>Unstuck</strong>, you will experience my transi;ons from personal to business perspec;ves. It's the world I live in and you can decide if you want to take it in as a consumer, an entrepreneur, a business owner, a business leader or a student of life. Unlearning, uns;cking and unleashing is simply a way of thinking that has helped me solve hard problems. Along the way, it helped me face my fears. It will hopefully prompt you to create your own customized manual.If we can unlearn and get unstuck, we can start simplifying our lives and not give in to how others need to define us. Personally, I don't want to be in a box with a big label on it, even when I am dead. I want to unleash my curiosity to try new things and learn from every experiment and that's what my virtual tombstone should say about my life.My ask of you is that you pass Ge^ng <strong>Unstuck</strong> to 2-‐10+ people in your network who would find it helpful. I’d also love to learn about your story so please feel free to connect with me via whatever community or social network that works for you; or simply send an email (see the last page for details).”The best way to get unstuckDon't wait for the right answer and the goldenpath to present themselves.This is precisely why you're stuck. Startingwithout seeing the end is difficult, so we oftenwait until we see the end, scanning relentlesslyfor the right way, the best way and the perfectway.The way to get unstuck is to start down thewrong path, right now.Step by step, page by page, interaction byinteraction. As you start moving, you can't help butimprove, can't help but incrementally find yourselfgetting back toward your north star.You might not end up with perfect, but it'ssignificantly more valuable than being stuck.Don't just start. Continue. Ship. Repeat.Seth GodinPhoto: Jackie Leslie<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>4
GratitudeDedicated to my friends, connec;ons and people who I’d love to connect with to con;nue to spread ideas and do shit that maNers. Ge^ng <strong>Unstuck</strong> fuels my passion to bring more people to a fearless existence of unleashing their superpowers. And a special thanks to Seth Godin, Hital Muraj, the COVIT youth in Nairobi, Anat <strong>Baron</strong>, Ruth <strong>Baron</strong>, Uri <strong>Baron</strong> (RIP) and Amy Damianakes who inspire me every single day. And to all my dear friends who allowed me to showcase their photos, a huge thank you for your art.<strong>Ayelet</strong>, Chief Instigatorayelet@ayeletbaron.com.... ideas that matterPhoto: Tony DeMartile“You can tell people of the need to struggle,but when the powerless start to see that theyreally can make a difference, nothing canquench the fire.” Leymah Gbowee, Mighty Be Our PowersThanks for reading and sharing with your connec;ons.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>5
UnlearningPhoto: Uri <strong>Baron</strong>, RIPShareyourstorySHARE GETT ING UNSTUCK6
Why You Need To Pick YourselfDon't WaitEvery kid can't wait un;l they can be a grownup. The fantasy is that when you are an adult you can make your own choices, stay up all night and drink grownup beverages. It looks so easy and rewarding. But nobody tells you that it's a lot tougher than it looks, those feelings you have that you are not good enough, that you're doing something wrong, they tend to stay with you. Most people spend their en;re lives trying to fit in and measure up. But there is a ;me when you start to see the truth that being grownup simply means that you know who you are and that you have the courage to be that person. The fairy tale of Prince Charming and Cinderella remain in the book.Most of us were raised to be ordinary but we all want to live an extraordinary life. We put restric;ons on ourselves. What do you expect of yourself? Can you manifest the types of rela;onships you would like? If it were as simple as just following a manual, then everyone would just do that and be a success. Should you try to go beyond average?Our ins;nct and the way we have been condi;oned is to wait to be picked. Think about it, we were raised to wait for someone else to tell us that we are good enough to do what we want to do. As Seth shares, "Once you reject that impulse and realize that no one is going to select you—that Prince Charming has chosen another house—then you can actually get to work."I spent a large part of my life wai;ng to be validated and be picked; expec;ng my boss to do the "right thing." And if he ever did, it came with huge price tag. What I know today is that if I focus on why I am doing something and iden;fying the core problem that needs to be addressed, I can go out and solve it. I can ask for help. I can connect with other smart people who choose to work with me to make a difference and get shit done.You can choose whatever lifestyle you want. The ques;on is do you have the tools and "permission" you need to solve a problem that will give you the financial and emo;onal independence you seek? What is ge^ng in your way?Photo: Romanus Berg"No one is going to pick you. Pick yourself."— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>7
Does One Size Really Fit All?Un-conditioningWe spend so much )me wai)ng. Some of us are wai)ng for the “right” job that someone will pick us for, the “right” man or woman to spend our lives with, the “right” opportunity to leave a bad situa)on, or the “right” )me to take that life changing vaca)on so we can de-stress. We also spend a lot of our energy and money trying to live someone else’s instruc)on manual on “how to” be more produc)ve, “how to” do more with less, “how to” run more effec)ve mee)ngs, “how to” get ahead and "how to" do what we love.There is a plethora of ar)cles and books to make us more like everyone else. They range from "the 5 things to say when you hear a new idea" to "the 5 things your iPhone can teach you about happiness" and the "7 things you should not ignore to be successful." How can anyone else know you and what you need? Are you living your life or following a recipe in a cookbook? Why is it so important to fit in as a brand, a service or a human being? This is how we have been trained and educated to operate. Authority figures and ins)tu)ons ins)lled in us that we need to earn the right and wait to be recognized and acknowledged. Society is so obsessed with external valida)on. We are surrounded by people pursuing celebrity status and fame; being “known” is how so many measure their self-‐worth and success. And today celebri)es go beyond athletes, musicians and actors to celebrated experts in yoga, self-‐help and even our very own social media “gurus.” In this world, success is determined by how we get chosen. The past decade has been a )me of introspec)on and there is a shiR today to becoming more mindful about what we want versus the cookie cuSer approach to life. The good news is the world is changing. We have moved from scarcity to abundance and many people are more willing to try and fail fast or succeed (how ever they choose to define success). The sense of loyalty is shiRing and there are those who can no longer simply follow a singular leader who limits their dreams. That's why we are witnessing an increase in entrepreneurism and people op)ng to take more risks. We are star)ng to realize that safe can be very risky.THERE IS NO MAPNo map to be a leaderNo map to be an artistI’ve read hundreds of books about artand how to do it.And no one has a clue about the map.BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ONESeth GodinPhoto: <strong>Ayelet</strong> <strong>Baron</strong>< Naka IslandWe can’t wait for everyone else to change. The only one who you can fully expect to change is you. You have the keys to knowing what works and what doesn't work for you. Do you want more than just to fit into someone else's manual? What do you need to do to craR your own map? Do you ever admit to yourself what absolutely terrifies you?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>8
The Secret Sauce: Rela;onshipsJust Do ItSome people see money as the measure of success, while others believe it is status and power. Our world is outward focused. Many people are obsessed with the latest shiny object, status and latest gossip. If you ever want to get a message across an organiza;on, don’t bother with formal channels. It’s amazing how quickly informa;on gets across a company through informal networks, especially today with easy access to tools that help spread informa;on quickly. This has become true of everyday news as well. CNN is repor;ng on what's happening on TwiNer, which is highly amusing if you think about it.This is where organiza;ons will start stumbling since in today’s 24/7 world, people don’t want to wait for the official word. They will go to the people they have rela;onships with not only to get the informa;on but to also get their perspec;ve on what the latest scoop actually means. Trust has never been more important than in today’s world. And ironically, trust in ins;tu;ons, poli;cians, educators and brands is at an all ;me low. More and more people of all ages are joining social networks to reconnect or stay in touch with family and friends. Because of the Internet and social technologies like Facebook, TwiNer, Foursquare, Quora , Pinterest and LinkedIn, we can forge new connec;ons like never before. The ability to build rela;onships is what many are missing when it comes to this new era where human beings can create and do more because we are connected. It's not simply about sending an email, it's an opportunity to build rela;onships by having more conversa;ons. I have a strong rela;onship with a number of youth in Kenya who I've only met virtually on Cisco's TelePresence (video conferencing) and now stay connected on Skype or Facebook.If you are over 40, you may think this is simply nuts. Your world has always been one where in-person connec;ons were how you built rela;onships. Anyone born in the 90s has always had access to the Internet and isn’t that why we call them the digital na;ves? It is integrated into who they are. Being online and connected has always been part of their world. If you are in your 20s and 30s, you probably have thousands of “friends” on Facebook but you may not know how to build sustained rela;onships.And as much as technology is crea;ng change, we are going back to basic human needs of human rela;onships. People want to belong and be part of something bigger than themselves. For a movement or community to form, we simply need a reason for people to care, and a way for them to interact with each other. If you are hoping to promote your idea, brand, service or product, the power of community (both online and in-‐person) is cri;cal in building meaningful rela;onships with people who share your interests. Who do you need to connect with to get to where you want to go (new sales, new job, etc.)? Where can you work out loud?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>Time is themost valuablething youhave. Youcan’t get itback. Youcan’t makemore of it.Photo: Romanus Berg9
The World Of Noise: How Did We Get Here?Yelling at PeopleThe old world is about one-‐way broadcas)ng of informa)on. Brands are hardwired to communicate in one direc)on. The old world is about announcements and press releases. It is a compe))on between who can yell the loudest and get the most aSen)on from people. Through adver)sing, companies’ goal was for consumers to buy their latest and greatest products and convince us why we can't live without them. We have been condi)oned to be talked at.h"p://www.amctv.com/shows/mad-‐menCompanies made money by interrup)ng people’s TV viewing and ge[ng their aSen)on. This has also been true of magazines, radio and other mass media. Big companies have been built around the no)on of scarcity. Each company works hard to make something beSer and cheaper. But then they needed adver)sing and marke)ng gurus to figure out how to yell it at as many anonymous consumers as they can. And if consumers like their product or service and buy it again, then they can do it all over again. People who are stuck in the old industrialized world tend to take their tac)cs into the new world as they s)ll...★ See the goal as ge[ng in more people’s faces with announcements and one-way communica)on★ Care about how many followers they have on TwiSer, likes on Facebook, check-ins on Foursquare and contacts on LinkedIn★ Are obsessed with how to get more people to read their Facebook posts, comment on their blogs and retweet their one-‐way broadcasted messages. They do not reply or engage on social networks★ Broadcast their wares and services. Look for where they are men)oned and acknowledged. Being on a list is their measure of success; they were picked★ Provide the recipe for success: the must and the how to★ Don't know how to create and engage a community to spread their message and share their interestsSo how is complexity and noise ge[ng in the way of your work and life? How did you get here? What do you need to do to unlearn about how you react to the noise?"Advertising is based on one thing: happiness. Andyou know what happiness is? Happiness is the smellof a new car. It’s freedom from fear. It’s abillboard on the side of the road that screams withreassurance that whatever you’re doing… it’s okay.You are okay."— Don Draper, Mad Men<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>10
What You Choose is Key Freedom to ExperimentEveryone has their own path. Some are just star;ng out, while others end all too soon. Whatever course you are on, the choices you make define who you are. We make hundreds of choices everyday. Most of them innocent decisions like, "should I "go to the gym or skip it today?" Others require a bit more thought, like, "should I order the grilled cheese with fries," which I love, or be "good" and get the salad, "which I know is beNer for me but won't sa;sfy my grilled cheese craving?" And then there are those really tough choices we make about the course of our lives. Choices. They're the ingredients of our lives; they shape us. The choices we make in how we invest our ;me can either s;fle us or bring a whole new world of possibili;es.Do you think of them as choices? Have you ever no;ced that so many people have advice for you about what you should do with your life, career and rela;onships? How does anyone know you? And yet, the self-‐help cookie cuNer solu;ons sell and the number of books, ar;cles, blogs and workshops are increasing to instruct you on what to do. Most people have a thirst for quick fixes, templates, Dummies Guides, and top 5 'how to' steps. For those living in abundance, we are overwhelmed by the choices and oQen blame technology. It's never about the tool. The tool is not to blame for the choice you made to be online or read your email. The secret is to customize the technologies that would work best for you and your situa;on. To simplify and make them part of your life instead of signing up for a technology detox program.Photo: Amy Damianakes“The ultimate freedom for creative groups is thefreedom to experiment with new ideas. Someskeptics insist that innovation is expensive. In thelong run, innovation is cheap. Mediocrity isexpensive—and autonomy can be the antidote.”— Tom Kelley, General Manager, IDEOYou can choose what other people think is important or acceptable to show them you fit in to their world. That's the goal of adver;sing. Or, you can decide to take a risk and take a different path. What's the worst thing that could happen? You might end up like Roger in a sake shop in Japan who found a new delicious sake that makes him happy. How uNerly scandalous! What do you choose to unlearn right now? What gets in your way?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>11
The Internet of Connec;onsLiving Out LoudHow do you start your day? Do you dread opening your Inbox and seeing how much email will disrupt your day? When did we lose sight of the need to communicate informa;on with each other by sending and receiving so much unnecessary messages (email)? I guess when we had the old brown envelopes to send memos in the office, it was a lot harder to copy and blind copy everybody? Is email really the problem or is it that we forgot how to share informa;on and have conversa;ons?Technology is here to stay and focusing solely on the tools is where a lot of people get stuck. We need to stop obsessing about the latest shiny social media tool and look at how we integrate only the tools and devices that are most valuable to our circumstance; instead of making them out to be the bad guy and le^ng them get in our way. I cringe every ;me I see an ar;cle about needing to "detox technology." Why are we blaming a tool for the choices we make? Why are we making people who don't want to use any of these tools feel bad since they don't find them valuable? I have a constant desire to connect with kindred spirits who share my passions and want to make a difference in the world. It does not depend on the size of their wallet or how many followers they have on TwiNer. When people ask me how much ;me I spend on social media, I give them a blank look since it’s integrated into my day-‐to-‐day life. I have no idea. They should be asking me what I get out of it; why I find it valuable. I have a much harder ;me deciding what book to read since there are so many choices and great authors sharing their art and only so much ;me.There are over 4 billion people using mobile devices and 1 billion people who are using social technologies. And what is happening is change. It allows people in any part of the world, who have connec;vity, to change why, what, how and where they work, live, learn and play. The old concepts of strategy are devolving quickly. The irony is that un;l people make the shiQ to integra;on, we will con;nue to have conversa;ons about the tools. What really maNers is connec;ng and sharing ideas with people. Conversa;ons drive rela;onships based on trust. Social technologies like Youtube, Google + and Facebook are simply enablers. And we don't even know which will survive and s;ll be around in five years. What tools, if any, are valuable to you in connec;ng and building rela;onships? How are you integra;ng them? And how are you walking away from those that don't serve a useful purpose in your life?Photo: Mariel Devesa“The internet is a connection machine. Virtuallyevery single popular web project (eBay, Facebook,chat, email, forums, etc.) exists to createconnections between humans that were difficultor impossible to do before the web. When youtell us about your business or non-profit orpublic works project, tell us first how it's goingto help us connect. The rest will take care ofitself.”— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>12
Whatever Industry You Are In, It Can DieImpossible EdgesWhile technological developments make life easier and more efficient, they oRen contribute to the demise of industries that rely on the old ways of life. Perhaps the most dangerous belief in business is that “this is the way we have always done it and it works” and “best prac)ces can simply be cookie cuSer solu)ons for us.” If we can only learn how someone else did it, we will be successful as well. Can we really use someone else's best prac)ces in our environment? Don't we need to adapt them to our own reality?The record industry was one of the biggest industries around. At its height, there were six record labels and it was by far a "perfect" industry. The music recording industry was built on a brick-‐and-‐mortar distribu)on model. One of the six record labels signed an ar)st, produced and published an album, and the vinyl was off to the store for purchase by the fans. But it went away in just 7 years. What was perfect was replaced with doing what’s impossible: the digital download. History has taught us that whatever industry we are in, an impossible edge can obliterate it.The same is true when it comes to publishing. Book industry sales are declining, despite the explosion in the number of books published. No other industry has as many new product introduc)ons as books. When you think about it so much changes so quickly. Tripadvisor (launched in 2000), Wikipedia (2001), Facebook (2004), YouTube (2005) TwiSer (2009) and Instagram (2010) are household words. You may not use them but you know they exist. The first smartphone was released in 2001 and the iPhone, Android phone and Kindle are fairly new communica)on technologies. There is con)nued transforma)on and disrup)on ahead. To respond to this new reality, we need to accept the new digital world where experiences replace tradi)onal publicity in moving the needle. Connec)ng with people becomes increasingly key in a crowded market, where brands need to stand out. Are you in a dying industry? Can you create a new edge? And if you are looking for a new job, you need to think about how people spread your value to hiring managers as resumes are a dying breed as well (it is es)mated that 70-‐80% of job vacancies never get posted).Photo: <strong>Ayelet</strong> <strong>Baron</strong>, Healdsburg Farmer;'s Market"Corporations that grew up in 20th centurywere organizations where the blueprint was todefine in advance how the individual was to fitin. It was the job of the individual to fit intothe organization, whereas today it’s about howorganizations and companies need to adapt tothe individual, and how they can develop theirtalents more rapidly. This is deeply subversive totraditional assumptions about management."— John Hagel<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>13
Can We ShiQ from Transac;ons to Connec;ng?We used to live in a world where bigger was beSer. Having the latest and greatest car/toaster/DVD player/vacuum cleaner/toothpaste was drilled into our heads as a must to fit in. Adver)sing budgets poured into convincing us to buy the new and improved version of the product or service because it was bow bigger and beSer than before. Did we not feel overwhelmed back then? Technology enables us to link people, concepts and content together in new ways. The pace of human brain capacity is not changing at the same pace of technology. For example, employees are adop)ng expensive technology faster than an organiza)on’s annual plan can accommodate. We live in a "cut and paste" world where someone else's best prac)ce could simply work for us. About $9.6 billion a year is spent by consumers on self-‐help books, workshops, tools and conferences just in the US. We have been condi)oned to go to events with speakers and panels. That is the cookie cuSer solu)on to events. Which big name are we going to listen to? Who is going to talk at us and give us the recipe that we need to follow? It's All About HumansOne day you will wakeup and there won't beany more time to dothe things you'vealways wanted. Paulo CoelhoThink about it, you go to an event (listen to a speaker, two-‐day conference, off-‐site) and you are networking with interes)ng people and have some great conversa)ons. Typically, business cards are exchanged, LinkedIn connec)ons may be made. iPhones may be bumped. But then what? We have so many missed opportuni)es because we don’t always know how to keep the conversa)on going aRer the event. We are s)ll stuck in transac)onal event based conversa)ons. And the tools we have today like TwiSer are insufficient in transla)ng a 140 character tweet to a purposeful interac)on. People s)ll need to connect through trusted rela)onships. It's all about humans.The lines are blurring. Control is changing. It's technology that enables a 20-‐year old poet living in one of the biggest slums in the world to connect with other poets online and get feedback on his work. It provides new access to connect people with shared passions. In this era, people who have connec)vity will create leadership at all levels and new forms of value. But we need to recognize the value and adapt new ways of connec)ng first. Will a tool or social technology fix all your problems?Over the next few years, new plaoorms will emerge that will encourage connec)ons. They will not have terms like followers or friends. They will be true communi)es where the value will be the people who belong to them. They will be moderated and people will con)nue their conversa)ons and build valuable connec)ons. What communi)es do you want to lead or simply be part of? Where are they?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>Photo: Mariel Devesa14
Truly Connec;ng Through Communi;esBasic Human NeedsAnd while we are in an era that is built on rela;onships and connec;ng with other people, it is a skill that many of us are challenged with. So many people read books and blogs to get ;ps on how to connect and network. Organiza;ons build online communi;es and yet they don't know how to incorporate engagement in communi;es as a business flow. They assign more and more bullshit metrics to declare success instead of measuring how this tool is enabling their business. Photo: Lina SrivastavaListening to a recent panel on the future of publishing it all hit me like a ton of bricks. A few years ago, I aNended a one-‐day unconference and met an interes;ng guy who connected with me on LinkedIn and Facebook. I have not seen him since then although he comments on my posts from ;me to ;me. When I saw him at the panel, I went to say hello and quickly realized he had no clue as to who I was. It was fascina;ng. It showed me, once again, that collec;ng business cards, connec;ng online and not having conversa;ons that lead to rela;onships is fu;le. What's old is new again. Human rela;onships are a key to connec;ng. Can technology address our challenged social skills by calling it "social media" and having people connect as followers? No way!Human beings s;ll crave transac;ons. Connec;ng online lets us take transac;ons to the next level but we are not ready. We create panels of experts, and bring in fantas;c moderators. The moderator asks ques;ons of the panel and then the audience gets a few minutes to to ask ques;ons. And then, we are out of ;me. If it's a great panel, we are disappointed and if it sucked, we are glad it's over. Regardless, it closes with "You've been a great audience. See you next ;me" It's the way it has always worked and it is s;ll working. Who will change it if it's not broken? Do you see that this was simply a missed opportunity to move a room full of people who cared about the same topic to an online community of people who can keep discussing this problem: "the future of publishing and what we can do about it." And since there were so many people in the room who iden;fied themselves as currently self-‐publishing a book, connec;ons and rela;onship could have been built with deeper discussions. Communi;es — online and offline — are even more important today, but so few people know how to truly tap into the online community bridge because they are focused on the technologies instead of the rela;onships. It's about trust and conversa;ons. And we need a moderator, a facilitator and maybe even ins;gator to help us navigate.“Whether you are flying the Atlantic or sellingsausages or building a skyscraper or driving atruck, your greatest power comes from thefact that you want tremendously to do thatvery thing, and do it well. “— Amelia Earhart<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>15
The Best Way to Get Approval is Not to Need ItPerils of ConformityPres)ge goes hand in hand with the "what do you do?" ques)on when you meet someone for the first )me. We are mostly defined by our jobs (where we are in the hierarchy and who we affiliate with) and that is why I find it heartbreaking when I hear women who have worked harder than anyone I know to raise their kids say, "I am not as smart and capable as business women. I am a housewife." When I meet a stay at home dad, there is usually a story of courage around what he gave up to stay at home with the kids. And yet, both are are doing some of the most important work in our society.It comes down to how each of us defines success and whether we are stuck with the labels or unlearning all the bullshit we were raised to believe. Most poor people don't choose to be poor and many that I know won't label themselves as poor because they see the opportuni)es ahead of them. They are freer than most of us and have a drive to change their lives.The more we believe that we need money to be successful, the more we will find ourselves in situa)ons where people will tell us what we need to do. One of the biggest challenges at work today is having one vision that is focused on a singular leader, which ul)mately s)fles crea)vity. It creates organiza)onal cultures that focus on pleasing that singular leader and cascades down the en)re organiza)on. If you are trying to partner or sell to that organiza)on, you beSer know how the person you are selling to very well because they are not spending their own money. They are pleasing their boss.According to Seth, you need to have two pieces if informa)on: what would please this person's boss since that's what they are mostly working towards to get their promo)on or bonus, and what are the metrics the boss uses to declare victory and success? Why are so many talented and skilled workers leaving large organiza)ons regardless of the economic downturn? Maybe it’s because they want their voice to be heard? Maybe it’s because they want to make a difference? Maybe they don't need approval anymore?Photo: Jackie Lesliehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/the-g-uk/5699358524/sizes/l/in/photostream/"Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risksand do what you really want to do. Seek outpeople who aren’t afraid of making mistakes andwho, therefore, do make mistakes. Because ofthat, their work often isn’t recognized, but theyare precisely the kind of people who change theworld and, after many mistakes, do somethingthat will transform their own communitycompletely.”— Paulo Coehlo, Aleph<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>16
Just Because You’ve Done Stuff In The Past, Doesn’t Mean You Should AgainStuck in the MainstreamUmair Haque, an author and economist, says what most people are scared to express their truth and believes "corpora)ons op)mize for profitability. Great businesses, on the other hand, op)mize for awesomeness." Most companies, non-‐profits and poli)cal par)es create strategies to target the masses. That’s where the money has always been. That’s where they could get the most aSen)on from people.The Internet facilitates people who are on edges and amplifies their interests. It’s a vehicle for connec)ng people and at the same )me, it pushes people on the edges farther to the edges. And then there is the squeezed middle that is happy with the status quo.OutliersMass MarketOutliersWhy do we think a normal distribu)on or a bell curve is a good thing?Today, the middle is mel)ng and more is going to the edges. If you go to the middle of the Internet, you’ll get lost. But if you go to the edges, you’ll find 10,000 people who are passionate about Vietnamese cooking or social issues like eradica)ng human trafficking. These communi)es are what Seth Godin calls “tribes." They are connected by a common interest and passion. A real tribe is made up of people who will stay in the room and have a conversa)on when the perceived leader is not in the room. They are based on shared interests. "[O]utliers matter. In fact, they matter so much that theyalmost make the average meaningless. Because most of ourlifetime return is determined by how many of these outliers weexperience, it is time we stop ignoring them."Source: The Behavior Gap: Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money by CarlRichardsin in Tim Kastelle's blog post.If you are looking for a new job, star)ng a new business or launching a service or product, ask yourself:✴ Am I stuck in the middle? Am I targe)ng the middle?✴ Where are the edges and communi)es that I need to connect with?✴ Where are the people or "early adopters" who would love to work with me or use my innova)ve product or service?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>17
You Can Have Whatever Impact You Choose StorytellingIf you go to get ice cream or a coffee today, you can get dizzy by the pure abundance of choice. Everyone makes more varie)es and the way to deal with cluSer is to make more cluSer. Give more choices. The irony is that this is not only a challenge for the consumer but also for the organiza)ons who need to think about how to posi)on their product and service and are s)ll stuck in the industrial era. I oRen wonder when I see the "new and improved" s)cker on a favorite brand, does that mean the "old" version sucks and I must toss it out and start over? I guess that's what brands would like us to believe so we will buy more of their stuff. Abundance is what this "connec)on" economy is all about. It’s no longer just about scarcity. We have so many choices and op)ons open to us, regardless of where we are in the world. In a world of abundance, it is about infinite possibili)es, while in a world of scarcity the focus is on marketshare and taking it away from your compe)tor and making it cheaper. Large companies are s)ll stuck in the world of scarcity, while many entrepreneurs are crea)ng their edge and not trying to fit into exis)ng compe))ve marketplaces. Some are even tossing out their business plans.And it makes life tough for those industrialists as the middle is mel)ng and there are billions of places for the people they are trying to reach to go. There is a race to the boSom on pricing – if someone can make it cheaper, they will. This puts huge pressure on industrialists, especially as mobility and real-‐)me solu)ons spread through social networks.Being a trustworthy source of informa)on is a rare commodity. Stories are the new (old) ways to connect people. You can undermine the industrialist age mindset by sharing stories. Either way, people will tell stories about you — with or without you being there. It's happening already. How can you tell stories to people that get under their skin? You can take videos of your customers talking about what you do and you can edit it into a narra)ve. You can create a different version of your skills and present it in a video or blog that will make people want to hire you. Talk in a way that people want to hear rather than needing to fit into a box or a label. Don't just be flavor 31,001 of ice cream.hNp://gapingvoid.com“Happy people produce. Bored peopleconsume.” Stephen Richards<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>18
The Opportunity To Create New Approaches: TED Was Founded In 1984 As A One-‐off EventIdeas Worth SpreadingThe TED conference — Technology, Entertainment and Design — brought together a few hundred people in California in 1984. It has since grown into a global movement. TedX was created in 2009 as a free license for others to host local conferences. It was a disrup;ve model that let go of its brand. It recently passed a major milestone: the one-‐billionth download of an online TED speaker video. TED talks are free online. If you want to be in the room, you pay and you need get a personal invita;on. You have to be on the list to be picked. According to Wikipedia: "To cri;cs, TED is emblema;c of a world of short aNen;on spans and passive entertainment. To sa;rists, it is smug and self-‐important: the Onion parodies it with video talks such as: “Compost-‐Fuelled Cars: Wouldn’t That Be Great?” But to supporters, TED has inspired millions to pursue lifelong learning. And for business, it shows what is some;mes possible by taking what is valuable and giving it away."The next few pages are about companies that are seeking the edges (early adopters and outliers) and building new models to aNract the people who care about what they care about. They didn't always start with a strategy for the masses.Photo:Elizabeth Rogers-Fortis"Twitter is my bar. I sit at the counter and listento the conversations, starting others, feeling theatmosphere."— Paulo CoelhoIf you are a poet, a musician, an ar;st in a specific media, or anyone who wants to unleash their art into the world, I hope these examples will help you unlearn what you were brought up believing about how to make a living by making services and products that appeal to everyone.Unlearn by asking yourself: What's my edge? <strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>19
Espresso Book Machine: On Demand PublishingIdeas Born on the EdgeImagine walking into a book store and knowing that even the most obscure or out of print books will always be in stock. The Espresso Book Machine was dubbed the "ATM for books" by Time magazine."The future of publishing is building the rela)onship between authors and their readers. The direct-‐to-‐consumer model supported by Espresso Book Machine, for example, eliminates the need for shipping, warehousing, returns and pulping of unsold books; it allows simultaneous global availability of millions of new and backlist )tles. It eliminates that step in the middle that tradi)onally belonged to the gatekeeper (the publishers).However, while it is easier to produce your self-‐published book, it is much tougher to sell it in this new world unless people know and trust you. Rela)onships and communi)es of interest become increasingly important. http://www.harvard.com/clubs_services/books_on_demand/Publishing is star)ng to rely on community evangelism; just like any other business today. There is an opportunity for local bookstores to create an experience that can't be replicated online to drive community locally. Instead of trying to compete with exis)ng and new online publishing, bookstores can focus on crea)ng experiences and new revenue streams with their local communi)es of readers. People s)ll like to browse in local bookstores and those who know how to build community will thrive.Because before we know it, Espresso Book Machines will be available in CVS. Walmart and Target, for example, and it will redefine the publishing world. Think about the last book you read, who was the publisher? Most people don't know the answer. But they know where they bought/downloaded the book.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>20
Have You Heard of LiNleMissMatched?Ideas Born on the EdgeI didn’t know about this company un)l Seth men)oned it as an example of a company that iden)fied its edge with a simple mission: “Build a girl’s clothing brand that is FUN, inspires CREATIVITY, embraces individual STYLE and celebrates self Xpression."The company began selling colorful, unmatched socks, packaged in odd numbers, in 2004. Marke)ng materials and the graphics on the packaging target girls between the ages of 8 and 14 and encourage them to express their individuality through “crea)ve mismatching.” Socks are grouped into four categories: Zany, Marvelous, Fabulous, and Kooky based on their paSerns and colors. A label woven into the inside ribbing iden)fies each sock by its category and a number so that girls can collect them. It's bold, and it's different in a sea of sameness and created a lot of conversa)ons for girls about their mismatched clothes. It also solved the growing problem of losing a sock. They expanded their products beyond socks and it probably explains why they were acquired on December 10, 2012.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>21
Stashwall Solves An Important Problem We FaceIdeas Born on the EdgeWho doesn't want to simplify their life? Everyone I know is either decluNering or wan;ng to get rid of the "stuff" that has piled up in their lives. It's amazing how libera;ng it is and how you realize that you don't need all that stuff to get by. But then there are my friends and millions of other people who have been through devasta;ng events like hurricanes, tsunamis, wars and fires. It's tough to start over when all your documents (passport, tax returns, etc.) have vanished. There are items you can never replace like the only photo of a grandparent, medical schools notes, music notes, old photos of special events and all your physical papers that are important (journals, love leNers, etc.) Some facts that totally shocked me:✴ On average, we spend one year of our lives looking for lost items ✴ 25% of Americans with two-‐car garages have so much stuff that they can’t park a car✴ American spend, on average, $7.4 billion a year on organiza;onal products for their homes, closets, and garage✴ 1 in 11 Americans rents a self-‐storage space and spends over $1000 a year in rent. ✴ Self-‐storage units cover 72 square miles; ManhaNan and San Francisco combined✴ Space is a huge issue in countries like Japan and ChinaThat's the problem StashWall solves as a virtual space to stash your life. It allows users to organize their lives online and decide who can access specific areas, if at all. It integrates a personal data locker within organiza;onal tools and social/sharing for users who want to share their favorite recipes, plan their des;na;on birthday and share specific interests. StashWall provides an accruing benefit – The more youuse it, the better it gets. And the longer you stay with it,the more you rely on it until you are hooked. But unlike areal drug, increased productivity and peace of mindprovide real value and do not require rehab.http://stashwall.com<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>22
Why Does Tiossan Need to Be Part of Your Life?Ideas Born on the EdgeTiossan is changing the way we perceive beauty and its role in the world. It is taking us back to simple elegance of being human and taking care of our bodies and more importantly, our spirit. The company is a long )me vision of one of the most inspiring entrepreneurs I know, MagaSe Wade. It actualizes her dream to bring more of her indigenous Senegalese culture to the North American market, "both to share the giRs of our culture with the West and so that Senegalese would become more aware of the value of their own culture." Tiossan tells the true story of Africa, from a modern African's perspec)ve, and it posi)ons beauty as a powerful vehicle for change. From the indigenous Senegalese recipes, to the sophis)cated French fragrances, to the modern California green chemistry, Tiossan speaks to the mélange of cultures that is now our world. Tiossan pays tribute to 4 beau)ful and powerful states of being a woman (and I've known men who have found their feminine side by using the body scrubs and soap). Depending on what we go through, and how we feel, different parts of our personali)es shine and create a chain reac)on in the world. Tiossan was founded on the principle that we should always be the best versions of ourselves to drive change. Fragrance has the power to move and inspire these states of being, and thus to perpetuate those feelings to those around us.And the passion of this company (apart from loving their products) simply makes me want to experience its success in actualizing its unique vision: "At Tiossan, we are not hopeful, we are not wishful, we are ambi)ous. We know that hard work, dedica)on, and truly great product can mobilize people like ourselves to do great things. As such, we’ve dubbed our beauty products “BoSles of Ambi)on” and 50% of the profits from these purpose driven boSles are devoted to crea)ng innova)ve schools in Senegal, that result in tangible benefits for humanity." http://www.tiossan.com/<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>23
Why Will Powernoodle Revolu;onize Business?Once you start using Powernoodle to drive alignment in your business, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it. What is Powernoodle? It's an online tool that allows people to provide their input and make decisions quickly. In other words, It is a simple way to get people across an organiza;on to share their ideas, develop and execute a well defined plan.The big problem Powernoodle solves is it allows everyone to have a voice and truly enables innova;on.What's their edge? Their solu;on works for any company — large or small — that needs to communicate more effec;vely both internally and externally and have people understand their role in making the plan a reality. It also has unique intelligence in providing frameworks and templates to guide the decision making.Whatever organiza;on you work in, if you have more than two people in a mee;ng with different agendas, you will find poli;cs. And in a world of increasing complexity, it is oQen difficult to wade through the noise. And why should the most powerful dictate innova;on and crea;vity?Ideas Born on the EdgePowernoodle helps organizations make more informeddecisions and solve problems faster. It allows anyone tounleash their ideas and participate in the outcome.http://powernoodle.comIf you are in a large organiza;on, you have most probably been expected to "do more with less," innovate, grow and scale, iden;fy efficiencies to increase produc;vity and increase global virtual teamwork. It's tough to get everyone's opinions and make decisions in a simple way that is also easy to translate into ac;on, quickly. By addressing the billions of dollars organiza;ons waste with ineffec;ve mee;ngs, Powernoodle helps organiza;ons make decisions and solve problems by bridging the gap between talk and ac;on. It is a virtual mee;ng tool that moves people and idea genera;on to implementa;on. How cool is that?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>24
Defining Your NicheFinding Your EdgeOne of the biggest challenges we are facing in today's economy is talent. It goes beyond skills and extends to having a common vision to create and execute on the shared vision. It's tough. It's not about the words. It's about the ac)ons, fit and willingness to take risks. Remember when you are defining your edge (using whatever tool works for you), that talent is just as important as funding.I tried joining a start-‐up this year and my aSempt failed exactly because of these reasons. I thought we all spoke the same language but aRer a few months, it was clear that we didn't. So we all moved on. In retrospect, what I learned is that we did not have a common defini)on of our x and y axis. We failed to check that we were on the same path and made a lot of assump)ons. When Seth shared the x and y axis at the workshop, I understood the importance of defining it early on for two reasons: to make sure you have a common understanding of what you are trying to do if you are working with others and to iden)fy your unique quali)es and edges, instead of targe)ng everyone. It helped me define the unique quali)es of the people I want in my community; those who share my interests. Here are some examples if you want to map your own:xFind the quadrant fora product or servicethat people want that’sempty – and claim itas yoursx-y axisFor Drybar, they defined their axis as:x -‐ how you payy -‐ how long you wait and what you get while you waitThey blow dry hair for $35 and give customers a glass of white wine, champagne or fruit infused water while they waitWhen I was at Cisco, we defined it as:x -‐ ease of implementa)ony -‐ business cri)calityWe would map our ideas and programs in each of the quadrants and then decided how to execute based on ease of implementa)on and cri)calityWhat is your x/y axis?x = ?y = ?yIn our simplicity venture, Jim and I are defining it as:x -‐ customized for masses (cookie cuSer/Dummies Guide) ➔ individualized and personalizedy -‐ complexity ➔ simplicityStay tuned! <strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>25
Wan;ng To Be Bigger Is A Desire Of The Industrial Age. Bigger Is Not Always BeNer.Finding Your EdgeIdeas are not scarce. What’s scarce is agility, passion and the ability to execute on an idea. The magic of this era is that it is very difficult to protect an idea. Anyone, who is looking for a juicy idea, will simply take it. Relying on secrecy is a false promise that makes us feel secure. And why Seth shared with us that he does not sign NDAs. "I don't want to know your idea."Lots of people have a lot of great ideas. Some)mes I wonder if large organiza)ons are working way too hard on "programa)zing" their innova)on plaoorm that they have lost the ability to simply generate ideas. If you provide an easy mechanism for people to produce and share ideas, you will be amazed. People are )red of words and want to feel they are being listened to; that their ideas maSer. And true leadership is not about talking but ac)ng: making it happen.You should love what you do NOT do what you love! When people start making a difference in the work they do, they fall in love with it. It’s addic)ve. The answer is in deciding what you want to make and love to do. No one can tell you how to do it. There is no Dummies Guide. Now that is something worth thinking about. Are you willing to do what other people won't?That's the ques)on I have asked myself and I am determined to build a community that wants to help people and organiza)ons simplify. I am undaunted and willing to try. I am unlearning the need to wait for others to give me permission or to pick me. I would much rather connect with people who value simplicity and want to create individualized solu)ons. I don't seek to become bigger: I seek to become more fulfilled by loving what I do and doing shit that maSers.“A lot of people quit lookingfor work as soon as theyfind a job.”— Zig Ziglar<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>h"p://neilkillick.com/26
Simplify: Move Away from Other People's RulesCustomize for YouTo have an impact, constantly remind yourself that there is no Dummies Guide or instruc;on manual. While so many ar;cles and books provide cookie cuNer processes for you to follow. They don’t know you. They don’t know how you think or work or feel or what you want to create or how you like to live.So, figure out your own strategy. Ask yourself ques;ons. Create your own x and y axes. Find your edge. Pick the templates and processes that work for you. They are out there. You just need to customize them to your specific situa;on or work.Original thought is exhaus)ng. Cut and paste is easy.Unlearn.Create your own individualized 6 or 3 steps in the order that works for you. No one else can tell you what will work for you. It takes guts to make it your own.6Definesuccess andfailure14Find your edgeKnow yoursuperpower25HaveconversationsBuildrelationships3Live yourvaluesPhoto: Lina Srivastava<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>27
SummaryUnlearningOriginal thought is exhaus)ng. Cut and paste is easy. Which do you choose?There is no manual. Design your individualized plan and take what works for youDecide what you you need to unlearn to get you to your defini)on of successIt’sallaboutRela)onshipsWhat do you need to do not to wait to be picked? How can you pick yourself?Time is the most valuable thing you have. You can’t get it back. You can’t make more of it. What gets your aSen)on?Find your edge if you want to be remarkable. What is it?Don’t wait for the “right” answer. Keep going un)l it makes you happy; however you choose to define what's meaningful to youDon't blame the tools and technologies. Make them work for you, your product or service<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>28
” Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful, it’s that they’re unconscious. They are default settings.Often Others Say ItBrilliantlyThey’re the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that’s what you’re doing.And the so-‐called real world will not discourage you from operating on our default settings, because the so-‐called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-‐sized kingdoms, alone at the centre of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving…. The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing."Photo Megan MurrayPLEASE DO NOTFEED THE FEARS— David Foster Wallace<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>29
Unstickinghttp://www.gapingvoidart.com/images/dare-to-be-different_1.gifShareyourstory30SHARE GETT ING UNSTUCK30
Do You Feel Like A Fraud?Taking RisksWriter's block did not exist before the 1940s. I learned this from Seth. People in the 1800s wrote their stories. There was no pressure to write before the 1940s; it was a passion. Isn’t it interes)ng that there is no such thing as cashier's block? Only writers seem to get blocked from prac)cing their art. When rockstar novelists were born and pres)ge was assigned to writers, much changed. People who experience writer's block see their work as inferior and fear someone may discover that they are frauds. We invented this ailment as a way to stop us from wri)ng.Research in the 1980s es)mated that two out of five successful people consider themselves frauds; other studies have found that 70 percent of all people feel like fakes at one stage of their life. That's way too many people walking around feeling like they may be found out to be living a false existence. They fear someone may uncover their secret that they are pretending to be someone they are not and having inflated skills. Whatever you believe will ul)mately become your own reality. Some people choose the safe way and only do things that are secure where they will not be found out. Ul)mately it leads to feeling stuck. Why does this happen? Because we have been taught to always compare ourselves to others. How do we know how good an athlete we are? How do we know our program works? Let's benchmark and show the world we are leaders and not laggards. We have been condi)oned to seek out metrics that "prove our worth." And some of us think we are never good enough.We are hard wired. Many people fear public speaking more than dying because of the voice in our head that judges us constantly. Fear s)fles us. When I was trying to get over my fear of needles, someone asked me "what's the worst thing that could happen?" Of course, I told her that I could die and we talked it through since I could die if I didn't get the shot or the blood test too. I ask myself this ques)on over and over to help me get unstuck in many situa)ons.When you choose to unlearn the key beliefs that were drilled into your head and find out what truly works for you, it's simple. Unlearning enables us to get closer to clarity. It allows us to simply define our goal or purpose and then develop our story. Get unstuck from the fear of being found out. Once you realize you are in the storytelling business, the voice in your head slays the monster and focuses on deciding what stories you want to tell. Part of our job is to write the next story. What is the hook to aSract aSen)on? Are you clear? Is your story authen)c? How do you get unstuck from this burden of feeling like a fraud? Who can help you with your story?Http://gapingvoid.com"Just about all sabotage is selfsabotage.We don't get forced to eatthat cookie, we choose to. And so thediet is ended ... The thing we havetrouble with is making thecommitment to do it even when it'sfrightening and difficult."— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>31
What Are You Doing Wrong?The main thing you are doing wrong is channeling your energy into this type of thinking. It is easy to cri)cize and see fault in almost anything. It is much more difficult to create and share with others. At the end of the day, it's a choice. You can choose to read the 7-‐step manual and apply it to yourself like the pair of pants you so desperately want to fit into or you can put your energy in what works for you. Do you get up in the morning and ask what needs to get done today? If so, what gets your )me and aSen)on? Is it being closer or farther from your goal?Dare to do Somethingfor the First TimePeople don't like change. Seth framed it simply as "the idea of change is difficult because we like being competent. To change we have to become incompetent and do something we’ve never done before." He asked us if the risks we were taking ones that make...1. Fortune or Forbes magazine happy, 2. Your personal bank account saturated, or3. You feel like you are doing what maSers? Are you being true to yourself?I remember interviewing a woman who told me that if she got the posi)on, she would measure the project's success by whether she could get it on the cover of Fast Company and talk about her role. I didn't hire her. And I didn't even have to ask her the silly interview ques)on about her strengths and weaknesses. She didn't have the values we needed.It is hard work to create and build and walk away from what is safe. It is easy to stay stuck in our own reality. Ask yourself: ★ What is it that you think you are doing wrong, if anything? ★ What gets you stuck?★ What is it that you really want?★ How can you do the scariest thing out there? How do you fail in the most flamboyant way, survive and learn from it?★ How do you spend your )me? What gets your aSen)on? Who gets your )me?★ Do you need to change anything to do more of what you want to do?★ Who are you trying to please?Photo: Tony DeMartile“There has never been a statue erected to honor acritic.”— Zig Ziglar<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>32
How Important Is Status And Pres;ge To You?Choosing WiselyDo you want to be famous? Do you want everyone to go "ooh ahh, did you know who that is?" Do you want the status and pres)ge of people knowing who you are when you are in public? Be honest. It's a fantasy that most people have. It comes part of the myths created by Hollywood, adver)sing and the magazine industry. The spotlight. The center of the stage is so invi)ng and intoxica)ng. There are people who live their whole lives trying to figure out how to be picked for that spot because they get a rush being recognized. It's valida)on. And millions of ar)cles and books have been wriSen about "famous" people. But what is ge[ng more aSen)on recently is the ques)on of what is happiness? A few years ago, I was picked to go on a private jet for a vaca)on in Costa Rica with a very wealthy family. As a million mile flyer, it was a nice change. There were 6 adults, 4 kids (2 who never flew on a commercial airline) under the age of 7 and 3 nannies. I won't bore you with all the details of how lovely it looked on the outside and how much unnecessary drama we experienced. All I can say is that I witnessed the unhappiness of the world of the wealthy who talked about buying a $50,000 fish tank for their new home as a way to bring joy. And yes, I did have to put my social good hat on and talk about how far that money could go if they gave it to youth who wanted to develop their skills. So I spent a week of my life with mul)-‐millionaires and when I got off the private jet aRer the flight home, I ran for my life. And I never looked back. "Prestige is especially dangerous to the ambitious. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, the way to do it is to bait the hook with prestige. That’s the recipe for getting people to give talks, write forewords, serve on committees, be department heads, and so on. It might be a good rule simply to avoid any prestigious task. If it didn’t suck, they wouldn’t have had to make it prestigious.” — Paul Graham Finding joy is becoming increasingly important to many of us. The challenge is that human beings have a hard )me le[ng go of the past and are aSached to status and pres)ge as a way to feel beSer about ourselves. Growth is painful. Change is never easy. And you hope that one day you would have it all figured out already. It's the hardest and most wonderful thing about being alive, that no maSer how much you learn, grow or change, you're never done.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>33
How Do You Rate: Does It MaNer?The Art of FailingSociety is obsessed with numbers and metrics. Once we leave the safety of our childhood where we are free to think and be who we are, the metrics start playing a significant role in how we are defined. In school, it is all about grades. Our parents expect us to come home with a report card from that tells them how we are doing — not so much as individuals but in comparison to the other children. And then some kids pick up what they see at home and decide who is cool for them to hang out with and who should be tormented and bullied.Because they learn the "strong" and the "popular" are the ones who survive.And we are also a culture of the "best." When it comes to sports, people watch a number of teams baSle it out to see who is "the" best. What do they want to know? Who is number one? Who is the winner and who is the loser? It's a zero sum game.We are socialized to see people, teams, organiza)ons, and poli)cal par)es as winners and losers.This s)fles crea)vity because some)mes being a winner means buying into the status quo and keeping quiet. For some people, if they try something that doesn't go the way success is defined, they start calling themselves "failures" and "losers." And for me, failure means not trying. Success means learning, even when it doesn't pan out. It's hard work. So many people are looking for the quick fix to get skinny since adver)sing tells them that it's possible. It's a billion dollar industry and growing. Yet, if you put your common sense hat on you realize there is no quick fix. It's about ge[ng up every morning and doing the really hard work of pu[ng healthy food into your body and having exercise be part of your world.There is increasing complexity around us but it’s our choice whether we want to engage with it or not. We have been condi)oned to be so busy that we feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of life. Make mistakes, glorious and fantas)c ones. It means that you’re out there doing and trying things. Leave the world more interes)ng than it was before. What's the worst that can happen? What metrics do you need to let go of (unlearn) so you can get unstuck in how you measure what you are crea)ng?You are capable ofmaking a difference,of being bold, and ofchanging more thanyou are willing toadmit. You are capableof making art.— Seth Godin, The Icarus DeceptionPhoto: Jackie Leslie<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>34
Whose Dream Are You Living?New and ImprovedHave you ever no;ced how excited we get about new stuff in our lives? New is intoxica;ng. Old is boring. Been there done that. Firing myself allowed me to be home more, which I now see as a giQ. But I also find myself surrounded by stuff. I am lucky to have so much stuff, right? That's the ques;on I am asking myself. Why do I need so much stuff? Who can I give this stuff to so it can help them? The irony is that everyone I know in the first world is now de-‐cluNering, seeking more simplicity.My sister suggested I watch a documentary called The Queen of Versailles, which is more of a Shakespearian tragedy. I almost fell off my chair when the main characters, the Siegels, talked about how they deserve a bigger house: a 90,000 square foot palace with 15 bedrooms, 30 bathrooms, 11 kitchens, six pools, a full-‐service health spa, indoor ska;ng rink and a stadium tennis court sea;ng 200 people. I guess for a family of 8, 17 bathrooms are simply not enough."Why am I building the largest house in America?" David Siegel asks and answers: "Because I can." He comes across as a true industrialist: "Everyone wants to vaca;on like a Rockefeller. We show people how they can. Everyone wants to be rich. And if they can't be rich, the next best thing is to feel rich. And if they don't want to be rich then they're probably dead." Is this really the American dream? And then the recession hit and so did the "real world" that the rest of us live in. Jackie Siegel had to take a commercial flight with her kids (their first ;me ever) and when she went to pick up her car at Hertz, she was shocked to learn the car did not come with a driver. Not surprisingly, David Siegel is unhappy with this film and is figh;ng back with a stupendously ugly lawsuit. And most probably, we will be inflicted with yet another reality TV show crea;ng new celebri;es like Honey Boo Boo and Snooki (yikes!). Someone is watching and buying into it.Photo: Jackie Leslie“People don't buy what you do; they buywhy you do it. And what you do simplyproves what you believe.” Simon Sinek, Start with WhyNew is not always beNer. Some people are moving away from self interest and material gain to a paradigm of sharing and connec;ng, where empathy becomes more important. If your dream is to accumulate more and more stuff, more power to you. You know what's important to your well being. But if it isn't, maybe you'll shiQ to crea;ng experiences and defining your own dreams?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>35
Do You Get in Your Own Way?Blow up the WallsWe build too many walls that stop us from ge^ng to the edges. We put up unnecessary boundaries that get in our way because we are stuck. We don't blow up things that are not working. We are stuck for a reason. We want the new job but we don't promote ourselves to the people who could help us. We get in our own way over and over. Most people like to follow. They want to be picked and read what the gurus read. They wait for the list to come out to know where to eat, travel and what is cool to buy. Does it always have to be trendy and pre-‐approved to be any good for us?I was at a Cornell alumni event recently (as a guest) and was talking to a start-‐up guy whose company just got $50M in series B funding. He was sharing the challenges of ge^ng qualified developers and how they are impor;ng them from the east coast. He also disclosed that they don’t want too much media coverage right now as their mobile applica;on is unstable. It made me really want to run out and try it! Not. And so I asked him about their Human Resource func;on. He looked at me blankly and said: “we’re a start-‐up. We outsource it.” And yes, there have been thousands of ar;cles lately about how start-‐ups should focus on their core and outsource the rest. But when finding the right talent to drive your business model is a cri;cal issue, why would hand it over to someone else? Why would you get in your own way?The response of “everyone else does it” or "this is how we've always done it" is not a strategy. I am not saying you need to create a large bureaucra;c process. But to move quickly, make sure you are enabling your strategy by plugging your key holes and finding the smartest people out there who can help you. And there are plenty out there who are not looking for the next "job" but would be happy with doing a project with you.I am weary of the status quo of how we need to be. I am imagining new and beNer ways to move forward. We have the opportunity today to pursue new ways of working and living by experimen;ng. The status quo will call it innova;on and put it in the middle of a process that people need to follow. Innova;on comes when people can think freely and create – it requires a culture of the unexpected and unapproved. What, if anything, is ge^ng in your way?Photo: Megan Murray"We build too many walls and notenough bridges."— Isaac Newton<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>36
Unleashing Your Passion Doesn't Require A How to Manual Dare to ChangeWhen I was working in Emerging Markets at Cisco, I had the privilege to go to places I had only read about previously. During a life changing trip to Kenya and Rwanda where I not only met the VP of Kenya and the First Lady of Rwanda, I talked to young girls and boys who wanted to change their lives by ge[ng skills and opportuni)es. Thanks to Hital Muraj, I had the privilege to sit down with girls who were shy at first but shared their passion to change their world by solving problems.When Den Sullivan, a Cisco colleague who was visi)ng from Dubai, heard my stories about what I was experiencing over a dinner one night, he extended his trip and stayed an extra day so he could go talk to the youth firsthand. He was deeply moved by his experience in Kibera and with Deaf Aid, Cisco's first Networking Academy for the Deaf.Den shared that he met some incredible youth in Kibera and when he asked Stephen Orioki (who is in this photo and goes by Steve), what he would do if Cisco gave him a few refurbished laptops, his answer blew him away: "I would load videos on them and go around Kibera and educate people what they need to do to protect themselves against tuberculosis (TB)." It was not the answer he expected at all and what drove him to ship the laptops to Steve and help him solve a big problem. You see, Steve experienced the loss of loved ones from TB and wanted to do something about it. His passion is contagious and his work as part of a group he formed with other youth called COVIT (Connec)ng Voices of Inspira)on for a BeSer Tomorrow), under Hital's leadership, is life changing for young people. By connec)ng passionate people, change happens.What are you passionate about? Can that passion transform into your life's goal is the ques)on asked most in my TwiSer feed? Knowing your passion will take you only on part of the journey. It takes guts to commit to solving a problem. And you may fail the first few )mes. But what happens if you don't try? What's a big problem you want to tackle in your organiza)on, business or life that you are passionate about solving?Photo: Stephen Orioki“I believe that everything happens for a reason.People change so that you can learn to let go,things go wrong so that you appreciate them whenthey're right, you believe lies so you eventuallylearn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimesgood things fall apart so better things can falltogether.” Marilyn Monroe<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>37
The Best Way To Predict The Future Is To Create ItWhat's Worth DoingMost of us have been taught to wait and be picked. The challenge with this approach is that it can be solved only by hiring you, asking you out on a date, producing your film, represen;ng your music or publishing your book.We feel valued when we get picked to be part of the commiNee, the sports team and the popular group. If you work in a large organiza;on, you feel a sense of accomplishment when you get picked to be part of an important project for the company. You are validated as being important and good enough to be there.When you are constantly busy, it is hard to be crea;ve and "find the ;me" to do what maNers most. And we tend to keep ourselves busy and overwhelmed because it makes us feel that we have achieved something. It keeps us stuck in our rou;ne of self-‐importance about our to do list and the joy we experience when we mark items off as "done." We are so busy doing that I wonder if we can some;mes simply stop and ask ourselves what's worth doing?Regularly killing projects and deciding what we are not going to do is a way to get us unstuck. I thrive around people who take risks and know how to launch and quit stuff. Walking away can oQen help us uns;ck.Taking a look at what you are doing from a different perspec;ve is key. We all need to learn to stop and breathe more to be able to ask the ques;ons that get us closer to crea;ng our future. A year from now, how important would checking all those items off your to do list be for what you want to do?Photo:Dennis Mancini"The opportunity of alifetime is to pickyourself. Quit waiting toget picked; quit waitingfor someone to give youpermission; quit waitingfor someone to say youare officially qualifiedand pick yourself. Itdoesn’t mean you have tobe an entrepreneur or afreelancer, but it doesmean you stand up andsay, “I have something tosay. I know how to dosomething. I’m doing it."- Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>38
You Don't Have To Wait For PermissionBe RemarkableEmpathy maSers and is becoming a more important part of living. It makes us more crea)ve and focuses on our ability to make meaningful human connec)ons. In today's world, people are amassing business cards and "followers" faster than they are building rela)onships. The opportunity we have with the Internet is to connect with real people; to listen, to have more conversa)ons and share. It's no longer simply a world of broadcas)ng unless you want to stay stuck there. It doesn't maSer if you are interested in recipes, business, sports, alien abduc)ons or paren)ng — the opportuni)es to connect with people who share your passions are out there both online and in-‐person.You have to start by knowing who you are trying to connect with. If you are promo)ng a product or service, you can't make something for everyone. The more dis)nguishing you can be, the more likely you will make something the specific group of people will find remarkable.Will those people miss it if it’s gone?” It doesn’t maSer if everyone else ignores it or hates it because they are not your target. You have to be prepared that not everyone will love what you do. Not everyone will pick you. For all the 5 star reviews you’ll get, there will be a balance of 1 stars that you can expect and choose to ignore. There will always be people who hate it but that’s irrelevant.You don't need a gatekeeper, you can connect directly. If you want to spread your ideas quickly, you need to put them out there. And it won’t work unless 100 people share 10 copies of your book with another 10 people in their network. You need to unleash your crea)on to become what you want to be. Seth's words keep ringing in my head as I write my first book. "Today, it’s easy to share and find new edges of how to be talked about and get aSen)on. Organize your product or service to spread. It’s always viable to make a point and spread ideas with people who care. Pick a date when you will ship it and don’t let anything stop you."You can’t stop spreading informa)on and connec)ons and it is much easier on the Internet. What are the ways the people you care about connect? Is it TED, Wired, Fast Company or a community? What’s the badge someone wants to wear so their peers and colleagues can know they also belong?Photo: Jim Finkelstein"As the industrial company sputters andfades, there's a fork in the road. In onedirection lies the opportunity to regainagency, to take responsibility for ever moreof our actions and their effects. In theother direction is the race to the bottom,and the dehumanizing process of morecompliance, a cog in an uncaring system."— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>39
Having The Guts To Get <strong>Unstuck</strong> Is Never SimpleTime is defined as "the indefinite con;nued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole." The source is every dic;onary and Wikipedia defini;on out there. (just Google it!) Right now, someone out there in the world is feeling overwhelmed by having too much to do and not enough ;me. The latest vic;m of blame is technology since apparently it has this unbelievable ability to fill our email boxes with what's truly important and we feel this need to get our Inbox to zero, because that is the true measure of success.Doing Shitthat MattersWhen we stop, we get unstuck. Cisco like other high-‐tech companies shut down for four days at the end of the year in 2008 as a way to cut costs.But it was really a life saver for many people like me. When the forced shut down took place, employees felt disheartened to be dictated by the company when they had to use their vaca;on days. As a result, many employees simply shut down and didn't do any work.This was revolu;onary since this was the first ;me people took a break at the same ;me and did not come back from vaca;on to deal with an overflowing influx of email. We let "to do" lists and other people's priori;es (our bosses as one example) drive our direc;on since we need to please them to get what we want (a raise, a promo;on, recogni;on). And we need to "find the ;me" to stop and have a vaca;on to decompress and de-‐stress. We have to make money, we have to pay our bills, we have to know what to say when someone asks us what we do. Those are all musts and they also create fears. I started exploring each one of these musts and made a conscious decision to shed the corporate handcuffs. It was not an easy decision. I loved many of the people I worked with and felt they needed me. But I had to take control of my life and not be held back by other people's expecta;ons and fears. I didn't buy into other people's beliefs that my corporate success defined me and that this was all there was in store for my career. I no longer wanted a promo;on, which meant the giQ of even more work and less personal ;me. I craved something different. Photo: Adele Waugaman"Lack of direction, not lack of time, is theproblem. We all have twenty-four hour days."— Zig Ziglar (RIP)You have to believe in your abili;es. When we were kids, we believed we can take on the world. We need to find that curiosity and courage within us. It's there. Why is your ego so concerned about being outside your comfort zone and trying a new challenge? It's mostly because we are deathly afraid of being seen as failing and being less than what others see as our poten;al. And as we get older, we get so busy that we go through the mo;ons. We simply don't have ;me.Not having ;me can't be an excuse to live the life you want. We all have 24 hours every day and sleep is important. So, what are you doing with the other 16 hours of your day?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>40
What Are You Going To Do With Your Ducks, Once You Get Them In A Row?Being PresentThe greatest thing about being alive is that no maSer how much we feel we have arrived, there is more to learn every single second. What really sucks is when you realize that all those childhood fairy tales about love, princes and princesses do not exist. We spend a life)me closing the gap between expecta)ons and reality.We spend so much )me ge[ng our ducks in a row and very liSle )me on what we want to do with the actual duck. Most of us are so focused on ge[ng somewhere that we may miss the journey.If you are trying to get your ducks in a row:★ Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Why do I get out of bed in the morning? What’s my purpose, my cause, my belief? What is it that I am doing or wish I was doing?★ Be smart about where you want to go and why you want to be there★ What's your story? What's your strategy about how to tell your story?★ Are you willing to take risks? Do you care enough to be rejected, fail or seem ridiculous?★ Why should anyone care?We are more distracted than ever today and it’s mostly because we allow ourselves to be. Chance favors the connected mind. Our ability to see clearly is where we oRen need help from others and yet we try to put the pieces together by ourselves. Some)mes to get unstuck, we need to know who to ask for help. How do you get in your own way? Why? What are you going to do about it. And if it's nothing, then that's okay too as long as that's what you want! Don't get sucked into the noise. It’s okay to be vulnerable. Photo: Mariel Devesa“We’re surrounded by people who are busygetting their ducks in a row, waiting for justthe right moment. . . . <strong>Getting</strong> your ducks in arow is a fine thing to do. But deciding whatyou are going to do with that duck is a farmore important issue.”— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>41
The War Of Art And Doing The WorkBeing RidiculousIsn't SafePart of us wants to follow our heart and do what fulfills us and part of us wants to be safe by watching the latest episode of 30 Rock. Part of us want to be skinny and we know that sugar will deter us from that vision and yet, we eat the cookies.According to author and journalist, Ben Thomas: "Every habit and hangup, every dread and desire in our minds is dependent on neural pathways that were once laid down by our personal experiences. Like every other organism on earth, we carry the history of a long, successful lineage in our gene;c and biological makeup. The ques;on of what to do with those resources, though, isn’t predetermined by the past. It’s up to you."Seth Godin and others like to call it The Lizard brain and he claims that it is a compass that usually tells us not to do something. When it shows up, "I invite it in for tea and we chat. By welcoming it, it has less power over me."Before you can be generous to someone else, you have to get unstuck about your own beliefs that stop you in your tracks. Believing that by qui^ng your job you're telling the world that you could't handle it is just plain wrong. It's your life. Think about how to simplify and be generous to yourself before you pursue a mission of saving the world. “Ring the bells that still can ringForget your perfect offering There is a crack ineverything. That's how the light gets in.”Face your lizard and have a long chat with it. If you care enough, find someone who tells you the truth all the ;me. You may need someone else you trust to push you. The best way to influence your path is by experimen;ng and seeing what works and what fails. What experiment can you start today to get unstuck? What is ridiculous that you can transform into being remarkable?— Leonard Cohen<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>42
SummaryEvery January 1st, regardless of the year, people feel they need resolu)ons. It's another way to get us stuck and create to do lists and new goals for the new year. And now thanks to social networks, people broadcast their resolu)ons and progress via their blogs, tweets and Facebook updates like: "qui[ng my job," "ea)ng healthy," and "this is my year for intent." Lots of declara)ons. Who are they trying to convince, the world or themselves? How do we do the hard work to get unstuck?UnstickingThink about what rules are keeping you stuck. Are they self inflicted? Can you do something about them? Do you accept them as your boundaries? And if so, that's perfectly fine. But if you don't, what can you do about it? What bridges do you want to build? What walls need to come crashing down?What scares you? Is it being found out to be a fraud? Why would anyone think you are fraud? What is the monster in the head saying to you about what you are doing right and wrong? What's driving you? Is it a need for approval and popularity? How do you define success and failure? Are you measuring yourself against a normal distribu)on yards)ck? Do you want to be in the mainstream or do you want to be an early adopter? Whose permission are you seeking? And why do you need it?It takes guts to walk the )ghtrope. It's a balance between taking risks (convic)on) and accep)ng failure when it appears (humility). Albert Einstein wisdom is important in helping us get unstuck: “The intui)ve mind is a sacred giR and the ra)onal mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgoSen the giR.”<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>43
Unleashinghttp://rechargeyourspark.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/women-power-super-hero-web.jpgShareyourstory44SHARE GETT ING UNSTUCK44
"Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Already Taken"More ConversationsMany of us grew up with the need for an elevator pitch, which is a tradi)onal way to explain yourself, your dreams, your product or service, and your ask from the people you are mee)ng with. The assump)on is that your audience knows none of these. If you only had 30 second to 2 minutes, would you be able to en)ce them with your "pitch"? You have ONE MINUTE to say it all. Go wow them! It's great to be crisp and get to the point but you need to have a story that resonates. Why? Because the people who will listen to your pitch are assessing whether you are interes)ng enough to keep talking to. They are also usually suspicious of what you are trying to sell them. As Seth shared: "If your elevator pitch is a hyper-‐compressed two-‐minute overview of your hopes, dreams and the thing you've been building for the last three years, you're doing everyone a disservice. I'll never be able to see the future through your eyes this quickly, and worse, if you've told me what I need to know to be able to easily say no, I'll say no."When someone asks you “what do you do?" the way you answer the ques)on will help you move the conversa)on forward or not. People want to hear about interes)ng problems to solve. You need to bring your passion and turn it into a conversa)on where you are not the only one talking. Listening and understanding needs is equally important.The elevator pitch was created by marketers for a world where we talk at people and only give them a few seconds or minutes of our precious )me. ShiR the pitch to a conversa)on about your superpowers; something real about you or your project. Part of the challenge when people ask you what your superpower is not to give them a clever elevator pitch that they won't remember. When we make it an announcement, we restrict our ability to have conversa)ons. And Albert Einstein was brilliant when it came to simplicity: “If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.” It's not about tou)ng yourself or coming on too strong. It's about making the introduc)on meaningful. If I don't know your superpower, then I don't know how you can help me (or I can help you). Think about how you tell your story in a way that resonates with people. How do you introduce yourself and posi)on yourself in a way that people want to learn more and build a rela)onship?How exciting!Please tell memore ...“Today, we have more opportunities toget out our message than Elisha Otis everimagined. But our recipients have farmore distractions than thoseconventioneers in 1853 who assembled towatch Otis not fall to his death.”— Daniel Pink, To Sell is Human<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>45
What’s Your Superpower?Get EdgierHim: “What’s your superpower?”You: “Blah blah and blah blah. And did I men)on blah blah?”Him: [Trying to look interested in your monologue]If you have a convoluted long answer, you most likely will lose the person's aSen)on. Think about that interac)on as a connec)on. What people gravitate towards is passion for a solu)on to a problem -‐ something they can’t live without. And, most people like to talk about themselves so draw them in by asking engaging ques)ons.If you are trying to connect, you only have 4 seconds to get to know someone. If there is interest, the next 2-‐4 hours can be spent on learning your story. In the world of stereotypes, you want to stand out and be less socially acceptable. Here is how I have learned and trained myself to start conversa)ons since I no longer have a recognizable affilia)on with a brand name company:Him: “What do you do?”Me: “I fired myself from corporate America. I am helping people and organiza)ons get unstuck.Him: “Wow. You seem happy. Tell me more ...”"It isn’t what you did in the past that will affect thepresent. It’s what you do in the present that will redeemthe past and thereby change the future.”— Paulo CoelhoWe have been condi)oned to fit in so even in how we approach networking or mee)ng with people, we tend to use socially acceptable norms. When people have the opportunity, they mostly share their name and what company they are affiliated with. Shake it up. At a recent event, the person who I found most interes)ng was the one who shared that she wrote a film about electronic vo)ng fraud because she was so passionate about it. I can't wait to meet her for coffee next week! And I found out about two great communi)es that I am passionate about from another connec)on I met at another event. Who knew there was a community for people in the Bay area who want to collaborate on work the do in Africa?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>46
Crea;ng A Reason to CareUnleash Your StoryAdver)sing and marke)ng tradi)onally have been about one way pitches on why we should buy a product or a service. The opportunity today is to connect with people through stories. As Seth shared: "The truth is elusive. No one knows the whole truth about anything. We certainly don't know the truth about the things we buy and recommend and use. What we do know and what we talk about is our story. Our story about why use recommend or use or are loyal. Our story about the origin and the impact and the u)lity. Marke)ng is storytelling."The key is to create a way to resonate with the people you want to be in your circle — to buy your product or service and to be part of your community. Ask yourself: How do I simplify my story and have people care about my product or service? And if not enough people care, you create another reason to care. What's great about this era is that you can always change, add and revise. The advantage of a website versus a brochure is that you can constantly improve and adapt it so it resonates with the people you want to reach.“Without a sense ofcaring, there can be nosense of community.”Anthony D’AngeloThe corporate brochure used to be final because it had to be printed and distributed. The film had to be produced and edited before it could be distributed. They were closed systems. Today, we are never really done if we can build strong communi)es and connect people who care about the same issues.You can use social media and networks to connect with people who care about what you are doing. Use it as a way to build rela)onships. It works much beSer than talking at people and broadcas)ng informa)on. One of the great advantages is the ability to ask for help and get feedback when you are in an open environment of sharing.How can you unleash your story in a way that resonates with people and drives engagement, conversa)ons and rela)onships?And for the corporate types, I get goosebumps thinking about what a shiR this could cause inside corporate walls in building strong rela)onships with employees, customers and partners. The possibili)es are endless.Photo: Lara O'Brien Williams<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>47
Making A Dent in the UniverseIntegrityYou need to unleash your ability to connect with people. Is listening just as important as talking? I remember when I was on yet another conference call and we only had 20-‐minutes leQ and the person "presen;ng" was s;ll talking at us. I politely (well, as best as I could) interrupted him: "It was great that you sent your slides yesterday. I had a chance to review them and to respect everyone's ;me, I was hoping we could have a discussion and a plan of ac;on." His response: "Well, just let me get through the rest of my 17 slides and then I'll get to your ques;ons." Now wasn't that a missed opportunity? Haven't the PowerPoint and Outlook (or any other email pla|orm) monsters taken over our lives? It look a long ;me for this guy to get back on my calendar because I wanted to work with people who wanted to move to ac;on by iden;fying the problem and then working to solve it — not just making preNy slides and talking about them. You have to pay the rent. You have to make money. You need to find ways to fund your ability to make a dent in the universe. The resistance doesn’t want you to make a dent and tries to neuter you by crea;ng doubt. I can't tell you how many people have asked me" "But, <strong>Ayelet</strong>, aren't you scared?" And they are always shocked and some;mes even inspired that I am not spending my energy worrying. And of course, I need to pay my bills and I know I will. At the end of the day there is nothing more valuable than our integrity, both in everyday life and in business.And it also helped to open my mind to knowing that by connec;ng with people who care more about what I do than the money, I will be just fine. What I learned is that the faster you can race to the service or product you want to offer, the faster the market will embrace you. What are you willing to let go of to make your dent? What do you want to unleash?Photo: Claire Thwaites"Your time is limited, so don't waste it livingsomeone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma- which is living with the results of otherpeople's thinking. Don't let the noise of others'opinions drown out your own inner voice. Andmost important, have the courage to follow yourheart and intuition."— Steve Jobs<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>48
Are You In Love With Your Problem?Being Able to SeeWhat's that tough issue that you feel is stopping you and making you stuck? If you only could solve this problem, you'd be able to move forward and unleash your poten;al. What’s your problem? Write it down now: Share that problem with a few people you trust. Do their sugges;ons make sense? Do they have a solu;on for you that you feel you can act on? If none of them make sense to you, you can now move to Step 2. Take that problem and issue that is ge^ng in your way and get rid of it. Toss it out. Burn it. Shoot it. Blow it up. Do whatever you can to get it out of your path. When you think of it, we all have a problem that keeps us stuck. It's a boundary issue. It's stopping us from moving to ac;on. Ask yourself: "Am I in love with my problem?" As Seth says, if it is a mutually beneficial rela;onship, then stay in love with it. But you may only get more frustrated by carrying it around with you. Boundaries do not go away. Only we have the power to make them go away. All you can do is fire the problem and then hire one that you are able to solve.Seeing is what we need to learn. It’s good to surround ourselves with people who can help us see clearly. Seeing is an art based on experience. Think of your art. Seeing is what you are going to learn.The weekend with Seth was powerful because he didn't talk at us, he listened first. "It seems like I say something and it’s not because I am smarter than you but I have been seeing it more than you. You have to prac;ce seeing. The answer is obvious when it’s not your problem. We get stuck not because the problem is impossible but because we can’t see it." To be an ar;st, you have to see the landscape. What needs to get unstuck to let go of what's holding you back?Let me dropEVERYTHINGand work onYOUR PROBLEMhttp://thecripplegate.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Unbearable-Burdens-300x300.jpg“Finish each day and be done with it.You have done what you could. Someblunders and absurdities no doubt creptin; forget them as soon as you can.Tomorrow is a new day; begin it welland serenely and with too high a spiritto be encumbered with your oldnonsense."— Ralph Waldo Emerson<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>49
How Do You Let Others Know What You Do And How It Might Help Them?More ConversationsWhat's scarce? Ideas are not scarce. Good stories that cap;vate people are high in demand. You have to do something to get something you can never get back when you meet someone: get their aNen;on. It’s like ;me, it's a currency you can’t get more of. It's scarce. AQer they choose to pay you with their aNen;on, are you connec;ng to their world view? Are you coming across as authen;c?What is the problem you are solving? If you can clearly ar;culate the problem, you share a problem that people can also care about and want to know more about. You need to think about that opportunity to share your story and have someone go home and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about your problem and wan;ng more. There were many people who got up during the weekend in October and shared their 3-‐minute view of their superpowers. What I no;ced was that for many, their internal monster crept through. Some were so caught up with how they would be perceived, they did not let their problem and solu;on come through. I already thought they were smart and courageous simply by being in the room. And yet, they were stuck in unleashing their giQ.What’s your Superpower?Photo: Rydon Rayzzo, COVIT Kenya"I ENCOURAGE"“Always do right. This will gratify some people andastonish the rest.”— Mark TwainBut at the end of the day, I was surrounded by brilliant people who were finding their voice. Take a chance to unleash their superpowers. They cared enough about what they were doing that they invested their weekend in themselves and faced their fears. Think about what scares you. Are you willing to let go of your deepest fear? Will it help you unleash your superpower?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>50
Art Connects People Who MaNer. There Is Generosity In Connec;ng PeopleFinding Your EdgeIn an industrialized world, large organiza;ons will choose the cheapest way to go to market. Brainstorming doesn’t work because you put everyone in a room once a year and people think "I might do this thing" and then they back off aQer the mee;ng or offsite to do their day job. Untrained brainstormers sabotage the process by pu^ng ac;vi;es they do every day in the mix. Gatekeepers used to maNer more than they maNer now. You don’t have to wait for permission today. If you can build a community of people who care, they will have an interest in your art and your mission. Just look at Rayzzo from Nairobi who is crea;ng his music as a way to make a difference in his community. Once he saw that being connected means that he has a voice, he was able to make new connec;ons to drive his passion. He is one of my heroes because he has the guts to put himself out there. Like many of the COVIT youth, he knows if he has a voice, he has a choice.Just like anything in life, you need to build a community and sustain it. The "If we build it, they will come" mentality only worked for Kevin Costner and that was in a movie. In real life, community managers are the ones who are busy connec;ng people and figuring out how they will get the community to move forward. It is a full ;me job to make sure conversa;ons con;nue and connec;ons are made. Brands that get it will invest more. And ar;sts anywhere in the world can build and sustain their own communi;es and keep it real.You no longer have to buy adver;sing as the only way to get your message out. Instead of responding to ads and sending out hundreds of resumes, connect with people who can help you solve your problem — ge^ng a job or contract that challenges you. In today's abundant world, how can you stand out?Composes and records inspirational,motivational and educational Hip-HopJoints to make the community awareof how they can take action tomake their world a better placeRayzzo is a young conscious underground Hip-hopartist living In Nairobi. His passion for Hip-Hop Musicwas elevated after a group of youths from his slum inKibera started a community called COVIT, ConnectingVoices of Inspiration for a Better Tomorrow. Heproduces MWD—Music with a Difference— Music with apositive vibe.http://rayzzo.posterous.com/<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>51
Connectors: "Great Guys Are Scarce" Miguel Cavalcan;Are You A Connector?Why are connec)ons important? Because they can not only help you get unstuck, they can be your target customers, bosses or partners. For example, if you were funding a new business, star)ng a new project, looking for a boss, or looking for a business partner who are three people you would want to connect with? If you had trouble thinking about people in that way, what would make you more alert for shopping for talent? Start looking for people you want on your side. Do you think people think of wan)ng to connect with you as much as you deserve? What do you deserve? Photo:Dennis ManciniIt’s not about what college you went to or what you look like. Those are the wrappers. It's mostly our inability to express our poten)al to someone who is considering people they want to invest in (it could be )me and it could be money). How do you become top of mind as someone that is worth connec)ng with? We some)mes don’t want think this way because we don’t want to be rejected. It’s much easier to blend into the background and stay safe. One of the other challenges you may face is that you don't have )me to think about connec)ons because you are busy pu[ng all your )me into your job or family obliga)ons. I recently had lunch with a former colleague who is now at another company. She shared with me what I already knew -‐ we worked insane hours at Cisco and were always trying to find more )me to work. Now we can cry and laugh about it. But we will never get that )me back. What do you make a priority?What I know now is that I can build whatever I want by connec)ng with commiSed people and making the )me. I can find full-‐)me workers who want to work on a project. Can you get a group of 50-‐100 people connected? What would it be like to be the connector of this group? Can you connect online and get together once a month? Lots of people want to be connected if you are not selling them something. Opportuni)es are opening up every day with legi)mate connec)ons. What are yours?“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a singlemoment before starting to improve the world.”— Anne Frank<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>52
SummaryUnleashingThere are more ques)ons here about what you want to unleash as only you can answer the ones that are relevant to you:✴ What's your superpower?✴ What are you doing to find the job that no one posted?✴ If the product or service you are crea)ng is worth doing, is it because people who use it will find it excep)onal? What is it about it that makes it above average? ✴ Are you going to stall because you are afraid of failure or being rejected? What are you ashamed of? What happens when people say you are not as good as you think you are?✴ What's the problem you are trying to solve?✴ What are your edges? What edges do you embrace?✴ How can you simplify it?✴ Who is your customer? If someone isn’t your customer, why are you trying to please them? ✴ What’s the level of risk you are willing to take?✴ Is it a project worth shipping or should you cancel it?✴ When will you ship it?And the most powerful ques)ons that helped me unleash and became part of my personal, customized manual are:✴ When was the last )me you did something for the very first )me?✴ How does it feel to put something in the world and say you finished it?Photo: Lara O'Brien Williams"I can honestly say that I was neveraffected by the question of the successof an undertaking. If I felt it was theright thing to do, I was for it regardlessof the possible outcome."— Golda Meir<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>53
”Instead of wondering whenyour next vacation is, maybeyou should set up a life youdon't need to escape from.— Seth GodinBePhoto:Anat <strong>Baron</strong>Shareyourstory54SHARE GETT ING UNSTUCK54
"Be A First Rate Version Of Yourself, Not A Second Rate Version Of Someone Else." Judy GarlandLivingHow do you know when you're done? When it's ;me to move on? Some;mes it's an impulse where the universe steps in and screams at us, like my United Airlines flight disaster. Other ;mes you spend ;me thinking through your decision. But no maNer how ready we believe we are, it is tough to let go of the past and our comfort zone. We don't like feeling incompetent. Our fears too oQen get in the way. Life is as complicated as we make it. Let's simplify by finding what works for each of us.When we start inves;ng in ourselves and there is no program to do so, it's a conscious decision each of us makes. Even if we decide to stay with where we are, we need to acknowledge that we don't want to change. The point is not how many ;mes we end up trying. We may call it failing. We may fear looking foolish or ridiculous. The truth is that no one really keeps count except for us. Our best decisions, the ones that we never regret, come from listening to ourselves. How many ;mes have you told yourself that you always need to trust your gut? And the really tough ques;on is are you doing it for yourself or someone else? Being human gets no;ced.Did I write this because I want to be a famous author? The answer from deep inside my soul is no, thank you. I simply want to share and create conversa;ons. My hope is that it helps you some how or that you can pass it along to someone else who will find it helpful. I want to create a great experience. I have some crazy ideas about what I want to do next and how I want to live and none of them include fame. I love speaking to groups of people and my reward is mostly giving them tools they can customize whatever they take away for themselves. Hearing that someone took ac;on based on a talk I led is what inspires me. So what I am crea;ng are more opportuni;es to speak and run workshops to help others unlearn, uns;ck, unleash and be. That's my story. What's yours?Photo: Siko Bouterse"You must give up the life you planned inorder to have the life that is waiting foryou.”— Joseph Campbell<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>55
Facts: Regrets of the DyingNo RegretsWhat would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?I wish I hadn'tworked so hardand put my jobfirstI wish I'd had thecourage to expressmy feelingsI wish that I hadlet myself behappier“The bestway to bemissedwhen you'regone,Is to standforsomethingwhen you'rehere”Seth GodinI wish I'd had thecourage to live a life trueto myself, not the lifeothers expected of meWhat will you setout to achieve orchange so you haveno regrets?Photo: Jackie LeslieSource: h"p://m.guardiannews.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-‐five-‐regrets-‐of-‐the-‐dying<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>56
What Is The Color Of Meaning?PurposeWherever you turn your head today, people are talking about happiness. Even the CEO of Zappos, Tony Hsieh, wrote a book on this subject as he believes their business is all about deligh)ng the customer. I saw a tweet that one of his customer representa)ve's spent 10 hours on the phone helping a customer to make sure they were happy. Their philosophy is to care so much that it creates a community of people that support their brand. "At Zappos.com, we decided a long )me ago that we didn't want our brand to be just about shoes, or clothing, or even online retailing. We decided that we wanted to build our brand to be about the very best customer service and the very best customer experience." The reason that there is so much talk about happiness these days is that a[tudes are shiRing from what you own to how you feel. If you look at Jackie and David Siegel from the Queen of Versailles, you can see that Jackie can give up the stuff to some degree but David's defini)on of happiness was so )ed to material success that he is stuck. It's ironic because I know so many people who fell into depression realizing they missed out on life by working too much and suppor)ng their addic)on to the stuff in their lives. There are a ton of books on happiness coming out every day but what people are seeking (and missing) is meaning. Think about it, once you get promoted and the big )tle, is it all that you imagined? Is it meaningful?In 2005, my friend Charles suddenly lost everything — his home, his cookbook collec)on (he is a former chef), his business, his community and his other worldly possessions — when Hurricane Katrina hit. He got out of New Orleans with his mom, his dog Ollie and his car. They thought they were coming back and when he finally did, the photos of the devasta)on were heartbreaking. My dad died at 54. I was 26 and working at my pres)gious job in Toronto. I was too busy to take his call at work and thought I could talk to him later. I never did. While I miss him every day and I've seen Charles slowly rebuild his life, I feel like I was given a giR (some would call it a rude awakening) of what is truly important in life. It's how we spend our )me and the choices we make.I am outspoken, loud, opinionated about work, poli)cs and women's rights. My heart aches about how liSle our world has not evolved when it comes to peace and understanding and how stuck so many people are in fundamentalism and dogma. And despite that, my empathy allows me to make deep, meaningful connec)ons with people who share my interests and passions. The color of my happiness is blue; the ability to choose what maSers and make every second of my life count. What's your color? Are you making a bucket list or living it?Photo: Elizabeth Rogers-Fortis“Happiness is really just about four things:perceived control, perceived progress,connectedness (number and depth of yourrelationships), and vision/meaning (being part ofsomething bigger than yourself).” Tony Hsieh, Delivering Happiness<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>57
Tough Times Don't Last, Tough People DoStand UpDeciding whether toshed golden handcuffsor keep them:opting out of high-paying butultimately dissatisfying careers orchoosing to stayWorking onproblems thatmatterTelling your storyPickingWhat are you goingto do today that youdon't need to ask forpermission to do?yourself\Photo:Elizabeth Rogers-Fortis“Whoever survives a test, whatever itmay be, must tell the story. That is hisduty.”— Elie Wiesel<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>58
Playing it Safe is Too OQen RiskyBlow it UpThe boSom line is that you don't have to experience the world in any specific way that someone else dictates. Gaining approval doesn't always make us feel like we are living with purpose. I see talented people who want to be creators and ar)sts working within corporate walls, which are trying to make them like everyone else. It all comes down to how you define success and failure. If your success is determined simply by numbers, you will always be a slave to the numbers; they will be the clock that keeps score of how you are doing, compared to everyone else or the norm. We learn to be safe but safe can also be risky.Photo: Gary D. GoulinI oRen tell people when they ask me where I grew up that I never grew up. I find it to be overrated. I'd rather be a work in progress. I had to spend 5 years of my life unlearning all the models that were drilled into my head so I could be more crea)ve. And I have to say that unlearning has been very freeing. I was brought up with the belief that we need to be in constant mo)on so we don't "waste our )me." I was so busy not was)ng my )me that I didn't know how to be s)ll and mindful. Unlearning is hard because it is about shedding what has been expected of us and being safe. Ironically, I had to learn how to unlearn so I could get unstuck from what was expected of me. I am not saying that models are good or bad. What I am discovering is that it's about the journey. This is it. Right now. Right here. I don't spend my )me thinking about what I am looking forward to doing. I am simply trying to make it happen in a way that works for me. I am trying. I am falling down. I am ge[ng up and shaking the dirt off. I am trying again. And I am living. I am willing to sit on the edge, unlearn what helped guide me in the past and is no longer relevant to where I want to be. I don't buy into other people's quick fixes and schemes. It's all hard work.Life is as difficult or easy as we decide to make it. We can stay safe or we can blow things up and get rid of barriers. Whatever path you choose, do it mindfully. And know that no one has the answer for you. You can decide whether you want to follow the Dummies Manual or create a personalized plan for yourself. And you also have the ability to choose simplicity over complexity. Remember, life is messy. Believe that you maSer.“To be yourself in a world that is constantly tryingto make you something else is the greatestaccomplishment.”— Ralph Waldo Emerson<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>59
How high are you willing to fly?Taking Your ChancesOur lives are spent pushing back on boundaries, baSling the rules and trying to find a way that works for us. We can choose to follow the status quo or we can break away. How we feel about taking risks says a lot about us. When it comes to risk, what maSers is that you take the ones that maSer most to you. While there are some people who naturally take risks, there are others who stand back and wonder what they are missing by being safe. The real ques)on is why can't you? It's a ques)on that always stays with us. We can choose to give up or to keep trying. Keep hoping that it will all work out and if not, there will be an important lesson in it. At the end of the day, what you are leR with is knowing that you did your best and that you'll get up in the morning and try it again.Photo: Nora CampsAs Jeff Haden says in his ar)cle, What Would You Tell the 25 Year-‐Old You? "Always learn on the fly. Wai)ng un)l you're ready means wai)ng forever. When you're "preparing" there are millions of reasons to delay a liSle longer. Trust yourself. Learn a liSle and jump in. Make mistakes, adjust, adapt, and develop greater skill by doing and reflec)ng, not thinking and dreaming. You'll save )me and achieve a lot more."“Live as if you were livingalready for the secondtime and as if you hadacted the first time aswrongly as you are aboutto act now.”– Viktor FranklWhat will you tell yourself in 20 years? We can't turn the clock back, we can only move forward.What problem are you solving? What do you need to unlearn? How do you get unstuck? What superpowers can you unleash?Some rights reserved by squid11What's your story? How high are you willing to fly?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>60
SummaryBeWhen it comes to your product, service or life ...What will you do to pick yourself instead of wai)ng for others to pick you? What do you need to unlearn?How will you get unstuck? What will you unleash?What's something you can try that scares you? What are 2 small experiments you will do in the next 30-‐60 days that tap your courage?Will that promo)on or the status you gain be meaningful? What does being look like?What can you simplify? Who can help you?What is worth doing that is remarkable?What will you tell yourself in 20 years?Photo: Romanus Berg"The old rules: Play it safe. Stay in your comfort zone.Find an institution, a job, a set of rules to stick to. Keepyour head down. Don’t fly too close to the sun.The new truth: It’s better to be sorry than safe. Youneed to fly higher than ever."— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>61
BeUnstickUnleashUnlearnPhoto: Kelly Greenwell"All our successes are the same. All our failures, too.We succeed when we do something remarkable.We fail when we give up too soon.We succeed when we are the best in the world at what we do.We fail when we get distracted by task we don’t have the guts to quit."— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>62
A Summary of Seth’s Advice on GeEng<strong>Unstuck</strong> from the October RevoluIon Weekend★ Why are you here?★ Why do you go to work?★ What is holding you back?http://gallery.wolfram.com/surfaces/popup/OctahedronTrefoil2.pop.gifShareyourstory63SHARE GETT ING UNSTUCK63
Some rights reserved by James CridlandThat product orThe target audience is men andwomen Aged 0 and upservice that you’llmake, who is it for?oops!If it’s for everyone, you’ve failed.The more specific you can be, the morelikely you will make something thespecific group of people will findremarkable.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>64
Why do tourists who go to NewYork or Rome go to McDonald’s?Because it’s safe.Those people you aremaking the product orIt’s about how it makes them feeland what the specific group ofpeople believe.service for, what dothey believe?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>65
This group of people,with their beliefs, what“Find the early adopters,embrace them, adore them,support them, don't go away,don't let them down. And thenbe patient yet persistent. Massmarket acceptance is rare. Viralconnections based onexperience are the only reliableway to spread new ideas incommunities that aren'ttraditionally focused on thecult of the new.”http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/09/marketing-to-the-bottom-of-thepyramid.htmlhave they boughtbefore?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>66
Your job is to teach themand reach them.There are so many newcreative ways to do it today.This group, with theirbeliefs, have they boughta product or service likethis before and do theyThe key is to use all thetools and vehicles that areavailable to you to connectthe people you are targeting,with their beliefs and whatthey care about. This iswhere communities becomeimportant.know that you exist?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>67
This is a deep moralThis group, with their beliefs, havethey bought something like this before?Have they needed a service like this?And, do they know about youand do they trust you?and ethical issue.Depending on whatyou are "selling,"the amount of trustthey have in youmay change.They can pay youwith cash, attention,time or connections.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>68
Does your service or product connect one person to another?All Twitter does is connect people. Google connects customersto ads - it connects people with trust to people withattention.GodinIn this economy, areyou a connector?“Who you hang out with determineswhat you dream about and what youcollide with. And the collisions and thedreams lead to your changes. And thechanges are what you become. Changethe outcome by changing your circle.”— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>69
Are you solving aproblem?The more you specialize, the more likelyyou will solve someone's problem.Clayton Christensen found that when a fast food chain wanted to improve milkshake sales, they asked people todescribe the ideal milkshake: thick or thin, fruity or chocolatey. Their data was good, but they didn’t see any salesimprovement. By going to the restaurant and analyzing who bought milkshakes when, they found two main buyers:early morning commuters (who bought 40%) did so to have something to do during their commute and keep themfull; and parents who wanted an innocuous way to placate their children and feel like loving parents.Christensen suggests that many companies lose out because they don’t know what their customers really need. Sowhen you’re studying your customers to improve your sales, remember to look for problems they’re having that youcan help them with. Ask questions and always start with the “why.” Motivations are key.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcWvrgVnhg4<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>70
“How dare someone offer it forfree when I have been doing itfor a long time? How dare Ubermake it cheaper?” They cansteal your ideas but they can’tsteal what matters and the wayyou do it."The problem with competition isthat it takes away therequirement to set your ownpath, to invent your ownmethod, to find a new way.When you have competition, it'sthe pack that decides what'sgoing to happen next, you'remerely trying to get (or stay) infront. Competing with yourself ismore difficult, it requires morebravery and leads to moreinsight."http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/07/competition-as-a-crutch.htmlIf this catches on amongpeople you are trying toreach, why won’t cheapercompetitors steal yourbusiness?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>71
The first questionyou need to askabout your project is:what's scarce?The only things that arevaluable are scarce. If theywere easy, everyone would dothem.“The only reason every projectdoesn't scale to infinity is thatsomething runs out. Time, money,natural resources, new fashions,new customers ... something isscarce.”http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2012/06/whats-scarce.html<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>72
“Hard is not about sweat or time,hard is about finishing the rare,valuable, risky task that few complete.Don't tell me you want to launch aline of spices but don't want to makesales calls to supermarket buyers.That's the hard part.What’s the hardstuff?Identifying which part of your projectis hard is, paradoxically, not so easy,because we work to hide the hardparts. They frighten us.”http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/11/sure-but-whats-the-hard-part.html<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>73
What’s thevalue?As it catches on, does itbecome more or less valuable?In the connection economy, value can increase whenmore people find it beneficial. Like TED, the ticket is notcheap but more people want to go and be on the invitelist. The value is the connections that are being made. Itattracts likeminded people.Scarcity often creates value.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>74
How much does it cost you tomake a sale? What does it taketo make a trusted customer?Ideas that sell win. It is easier tospread ideas today and it can cost youvery little in direct costs. And mostpeople buy stuff that they have apersonal connection with or that isrecommended by a trusted friend.What is thecost of sale?"People don’t value what they paymoney for; they value what othersvalue. They value what gets talkedabout. It’s your job to get peopletalking about what you have to offer.The best way to do that is to give itaway."— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>75
Amazon estimated the customerlifecycle at $33 in profit.What’s the life timevalue of a customer, onceyou make the sale?“Few businesses understand(really understand) just howmuch a customer is worth. Addto this the additional profit youget from a delighted customerspreading the word—it can easilydouble or triple the lifetimevalue.”— Seth GodinIf your current customers aren’thappy using your product orservice, then your marketing issimply sending more people into abad experience.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>76
Is there a way to make this productor service less expensive than you do?If so, you will have more money topromote it. Can you make it faster?How fast can youmake your productor service?In a world where it takes one day orsix weeks to get a product or serviceto market, what can you dodifferently?How can you tap into connections andcommunities to make it go faster?<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>77
When will youship it?When will you shipyour product, serviceor book?Love your plan. Love your vision.Until you ship, it doesn’t matter.You need to be prepared to fail - the person whoinvented the ship also invented the ship wreck.Ship it: Have a date and time. Deliver on it.It takes guts, courage and a strong sense of self to bebrave.— Seth Godin<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>78
✴ Who is it for?✴ What do they believe?✴ What has this group boughtbefore?✴ Do they know you exist?✴ Do they trust you?✴ Are you a connector?✴ Are you solving aproblem?✴ Why won’t a competitorsteal your idea?✴ What’s scarce?✴ What’s the hard part?✴ What’s the value?✴ What is the cost of sale?✴ What’s the lifecycle?✴ How fast can you make it?✴ When will you ship it?“The key to wisdom is knowing allthe right questions.”— John SimonePhoto: Megan Murray<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>79
Some Questions About What Your OnlineLearning from BananasPresence Should DoAs part of the weekend, Seth asked if anyone wanted him to takea look at their website. We were sitting in a large auditorium andpeople shouted out their website urls. I observed how many peoplewere apologetic about what we were about to see and experience.They were downplaying the site that future employers, customersand partners would see even though it is what represents them onthe web right now. Seth had some great insights for each of themand I am summarizing some of the key questions he asked if youare creating an online presence."Every website is a marketing effort. Sooner or later, your siteinvolves an interaction with a user, and that interaction won't be100% technical. You have to sell the engagement, the interaction andthe story you have in mind. While websites have always involvedtechnology, the tech is secondary to your ability to get your pointacross." Seth✴ Who is it for?✴ How do people know to come to your site?✴ Which sites does the kind of person you want to connect withtrust? What are their A, B and C sites?✴ What do you want them to do once they get to your site?✴ Do you make it clear: what’s the banana?"It turns out that it's a lot easier to peel a bananaif you start from the 'wrong' end.You don't even have to use your teeth.Here's the thing: I know this. I've tried it. It's true.I still peel a banana the hard way. It feels like theright thing to do.Selling change is much harder than you think."— Seth GodinStart here instead of herehttp://www.fashionfoodfatale.com<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>80
“I work from my heart. That’s allI know how to do. I work hardand need to keep the lights on. Iget stuck with making money anddelivering excellent customerservice. How do I make thebusiness more sustainable?Being awareof why youare stuck iskey★ It’s tempting for entrepreneurs to see something that’s brokenand want to fix it. We want people to see what we see. Resistthe temptation. You don’t have the leverage to change people’sworld view.★ Almost no one wants to admit they are wrong. But they can seenew information and have it change their opinion.★ I have no comments on my blog. I don’t want to have rewrite mywork for people who criticize what I have to say. It would grindme to a halt. That’s why I have posts and no comments.★ Ignore them. Reviews don’t really matter.“How do I deal withnegative reviews andpeople who don’t getwhat I am doing?”Ignore theNoise andHelpPeople See★ Start with the belief that you are really good at what you do.★ A freelancer gets paid while they work. An entrepreneur gets paid while theysleep. They hire other people. The challenge is when you are bootstrapping isthat the cheapest person you can hire is you.★ You may have a belief about money that makes you stuck. But money ispaper. If you’re mis-valuing money, the trade you make with money is going tobe off track.★ Figure out how to divorce money coming in from value of what you do. There isa big difference between bringing flowers on a date than bringing money.★ Hire someone who likes to think about money or you need to get over yournegative belief about money.★ How do you tell a story so the right person is eager to help?“What keeps peoplefrom shipping stuff?”It TakesCourage★ We teach kids in school to ship stuff.★ People are trained to wait, cram and not to ship.★ When you demolish a building, it’s easy. But everything afterthe demolition takes time. Every single step along the way,someone will say it’s not ready.★ We need to have discipline. It’s not genetic.★ It’s more important for your product or service to be in themarket than be hidden.★ Stay up until you get it done.★ As soon as you commit to the date, then your quality goes up.81
“I am managing, notleading, 75 women in myretail business. How do Iinspire them to lead?”Stories.ConnectwithPeople.★★★★★★What kind of person signs up to be one of your sales reps?Only one in a hundred is like you.Can you change someone’s story? Can you get them to see theworld the way you do? If you can’t you have to find other people.You assume that they signed up and now it should all fall intoplace.What leaders do is change the story they tell themselves.Some people have misery and they want company. If you want toconnect people, do it in person rather than online – chat room orcampfire. They can be invited in and invited out. They are raisingthe average.“I want to create aninteractive platform for achildren’s book asstorytellers. How can Imake it happen?”WhatDoesSuccessLook Liketo You?★ Who are you targeting? Do they know about you?★ How will you measure success? Is it making $100,000 in ayear or having 3 kids in Delaware that are no longer beingbullied?★ Today, it costs nothing to publish a book. And a lot of peoplethink it doesn’t count.★ Who can you double date with? Is there someone who isestablished? Oprah doesn’t have a show anymore.★ You have to find a new middleman. Who do they whisper to?You need to find someone who can help you get started.“I am creating a comic book onleadership. How should Idistribute it?”Tap intoYourConnections★ If you’re going to bother writing something, write something that matters.★ The average American reads one book a year. And the typical book sells4,000 copies. So 50 Shades of Gray already captured the market. You haveto make people light up on every page.★ Just because they bought it, doesn’t mean they read all of it Buying thebook is one thing but only 20% actually read it.★ Self-publishing – why are you doing it? Always start with the why. Give itaway, send it to 1000 people who trust you and ask them to send it to morepeople. You’ll make it up in a heart beat.★ 5 years ago what did you make that was scarce? It’s not scarce any more.Everyone curates now.★ The challenge of social media is a direct connection between you and peoplewho trust you.82
How do you find the fringes?“How do wedifferentiate ourselves?How do we make surewe are notboring?”★ When you are selling to someone in a large organization, it’s not the person’s money. It’s theirorganization’s money. And the bottom line is they are trying to make their boss happy. They need to beable to tell a story about buying your product or service. How does that story help them advance andmake them feel safe? How does it make their boss look good?★ The person who hires me to give a speech does it because bringing me will make their boss happy.★ For example, when someone buys training, it goes back to the HR department’s meat and potatoes. All thebuyer cares about is that she won’t get in trouble after the training is over. She is taking a risk: Bringingsomeone new may get them fired.★ If you are selling to an average buyer in an average company, they are in the center of the bell curveand not interested in change – they are not on the fringe. HBR is good example. Almost no one reads it.But many people with money associate with it. That’s why consultants work for three years to write anarticle. They want to be seen by buyers as being on the cutting edge. It’s like double dating – they trustHBR so they trust you if you can get an article published, then people will want to associate with you.★ The cost in digital world to you is zero. If one person reads your white paper or watches your video, itdoesn’t cost you anything. They trust you because you have been generous. When they call asking formore, you then ask for money. That’s why I make it cost money. None of you would be here if I didn’t giveyou stuff for the last 10 years. The core of work that you do you do it with raucous those people find youbecause they want to connect to other people and you are are at the center of the circle.★ Connect people who want to be connected. They will help you spread the word.<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>83
“Come to the edge.' 'We can't.We're afraid.' 'Come to theedge.' 'We can't. We will fall!''Come to the edge.' And theycame. And he pushed them.And they flew.”― Guillaume ApollinairePhoto: Romanus Berg84
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I truly hope it helped you think about where you are, where you want to be and what you are crea)ng and why it maSers.My goal is is to give you a nudge and help as many people as possible simplify our lives and do what maSers. Please share Ge[ng <strong>Unstuck</strong> with at least five of your friends or colleagues. If there is anything I can do to help you, please connect with me at ayelet@ayeletbaron.com or the Google+ Community or Facebook Community where we can have conversa)ons and help each other.http://gapingvoid.comAbout <strong>Ayelet</strong><strong>Ayelet</strong> <strong>Baron</strong> is a strategist, speaker and connector. She likes to help solve big problems for leaders in large organiza)ons and entrepreneurial start-‐ups. She is a sought aRer speaker, writer and coach who helps people achieve results.ayelet@ayeletbaron.comhttp://facebook.com/http://ayeletbaron.comhttp://divorcingyourjob.comhttp://twitter.com/ayeletbhttp://tslideshare.net/ayeletbhttp://linkedin.com/in/ayeletbaron<strong>Getting</strong> <strong>Unstuck</strong>85
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