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THE MECCAOF MODERN---- -7---&


FPUBLISHERJR Ruppel1 EDITOR! Jo YaffePHOTO EDITORRobert DeBerry;Debra BuckinghamLara BringardCARTOONT.L. Miller1Special Thanks To:Sutton, Margie Alban,Keough, Private Eyesy those of the people who putgether.I~ U AD G SALES IDear Dickheads,Please allow me to directthis letter to Growin1Graphics.-I'm tired of your offensive ads. (Incase any readers missed the lastad, it had a picture of a woman's"tits & ass" with the slogan"...meant to be seen not heard"on it). [SLUG lssue#58] Acouplemonths ago 1 remember readingin SLUG about someone elsewho was offended by your ads.They weren't alone. I'm sure youprint these tasteless ads to drawmore attention to your company.It works, I'll never take my businessto you. Perhaps you shouldkeep in mind that some of usSLUG readers are in aposition todo business with the companiesthat advertise in SLUG, and youare turning us away with youropenly sexist ads. Be confidentthat I am spreading the word tofriends and other business ownerslike myself that you are notworthy of our business.Signed,Goin '-Some where-ElseFor-GraphicsP.S. Keep . up . the great - work,SLUGTo the world of Husks andShells:Physical and symbolisticblood consumption or letting as adisplay of faith ordivinedevotion,in support of a supreme being,seems to be the common practiceamong most religious cultures,Christian, Pagan, etc. Theties between this and the moderncommercial involvement in blood,most thanks due to Bram Stoker,are more often than not completelymisunderstood by everyone.Blood being the key point inthis leads this to its unequaledrole in spirituality of good or evil,of faith or fetish, of science ormyth orsimply the fabricofwhichWe SUN/VB.In its religious role it seemsmostly viewed upon historically,through theeducation ofdifferentcultures. And through scienceits simply logged analysis by thecreators of words like fetish, psychosis,fantasy, etc.These bland overviews tellnothing of truth, real truth, althougha few tie what truth theyfind in themselves asformentioned cliches such asvampire, nosferatu etc. Close?Sorry no cigar.Truth in observation and obsessionseems to paint the mentalcanvas well enough for mostwho have interest but the realtruth, sincere truth is life beyondfascination and that is the onlyphysical and spiritual reality.Sweet Dreams,Marduk AKA DaronDaughters of the NileDear Dickheads,Last month you joined thehordes of vegetable-eating,hand-holding, hackysack-tossingfaggots by printing a bunch ofanti-deer hunting propaganda.Listen up Media Man!!! I don'tknow where you went to school,but a30.06 is a fuck of a lot morepowerful than a pen. If you don'tthink so, try this little test. Shovea pen up your ass and push thebutton. Next squat your greenpeace ass over a Remingtonbarrel and pull the trigger.I'm sick of all this anti-manbullshit from you left wing hippiefucks. What happened to toughguys, doing tough male-bondingshit? Don't get me wrong, I don'tneed the meat, or even like it, 'hunt to kill and that's it! It's likcshootingaperson, with no prisontime. I know some of you are toobig of pussies to shoot an innocentcreature, let alone slice openits throat while it screams anclooks up at you with those terrifiedbrown eyes.Just quit whining about realmen doing what real men do.Stay at Bandaloobs where it'ssafe, pussies.-Jon TitusWRITE TO US ... NOW!Dickheads @ SLUGP.O. Box 106',Salt Lake City, U'I841 10-1 061


a BfL a@ NOVEMBER 1888a I:'II TURKEY IN HANDIS SAFER THAN ONEOVERHEADThe first postdinner burp vanishesinto the air above the tablewhere the family gathers, and thelastbone-littered dish is dumped in thewasher, as someone begins to hum aChristmas caroC'Dedc Us All WithBoston Charlie." Thanksgiving is over.Christmas has started.Christmas is crowding intoThanksgiving like Yeltsin is crowdinginto Gorbachev's limelight The causeis more pagan than the old Druidicinfluences still part of the mid-winterholiday: it's greed. Folks spend moreloot on Christmasthan Thanksgiving,football game-betting aside. Thanksgivingtastes better than Christmas,but a turkey drum stick doth not thetaxman payeth.Thanksgiving has becomeAmerica's seasonal stepchild, asCanadian Car Registration day is inCanada. Preceded byTVads for themorning-after-Thanksgiving-bring-usyour-moneysales. Christmas reallystarts on the afternoon of Nov. 29.after the pumpkin pie is snarfed upand during the day's last NFL game.The first showing of It's a WondehILife starts after the postgame show.It's a dam shame.Thanksgiving was meant to ceiebratethe pilgrims' freedom to wearas much starch in their underwear asthey wanted. It was to celebrate tRefreedom to smoke opium and bumwitches H they wanted to. It was tocelebrate thatthey hadn't drowned onthe trip, they had their luggage whenthey arrived and the Indians hadn'tkilled them yet.It's all changed, forgotten, likethe value of a handshake, a dollar, orthe $20 Steve Monis owes me on theSeahawks-Denver game.I enjoyed aday devoted toopeninggifts from kinfolk 1 haven't beennice-to all year, but a day devoted toeating good food someone elsecookedon dishes I don't haveto washneed equal reverence.No mind is so Neanderthal itwould call Christmas 'Gift GimmeDay," yet in places even outsideCalifornia, Thanksgiving day has beenrenamed Turkey Day."Let's have a moment of silencebird, the turkey.is the only time of theyear a turkey is cute. Ben Franldinwanted to make it our national eblem. If that happened, would we 3eating a bald eagle on Thanksgtvingl/A dilemma: the bald eagle k anendangered species.It seems blasphemous (butironically very American, like spittingafter singingthe National Anthem atabaseball game) that some pizza outfitswill deliver on Thanksgiving thisyear. What would Thanksgiving belike now if the pilgrims had orderedout two large anchovy, sauerkrautand pineapple pizzas, exba cheese,hold the olives?Still, who knows how many farnilygatherings were saved by pizzaafter the turkey was nuked to a sparrow-sizedcinder by anBetty Crocker drop out?The demise of thenunit hasn't helped the survival ofThanksgiving either. Jillions of carsjet up and downfreewaysThanksgivingmorning, going to or coming fromGrandma's house, which is alwayssomewhere else. The more the warand tear on tires, engines, anddrivers'nerves, the more likely some will decideto order out instead next year.Consider the poor bachelor whomust decide whether to leam how touse a can opener or risk the gasticdelights at 'Bubba's Grillo-Ramma"for his Thanksgiving DayTurkeyburger special, cooked byfolkswho wish they were somewhere elsetoo.Thanksgiving is the one day ofthe year when all the plates, forks andknives should match and men shouldtake their hats off when they eat. Dothey at your table? Or is that traditionslipping away too?Our world is changing rapidy,except for Republican politics, PrincessDi's hairstyle and Fkfel Castro.The multigenerational family gatheredatthe dinnertable to give thanksfor life's bounty today looks less like aNorman Rockwell painting than anMTV video of a Cheech and Chongtune.How long can the traditionalThanksgiving survive furtherHollywoodization? Watch for thenetworks to move it opposite 'Cosby"next year. Doomed.In time, maybe the only vestigeof Thanksgiving left, besides turkeysandwiches, will be columnists I*menting the loss. Let's give thanksthat day hasn't anived yet.

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