OUT & ON

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VOL 1 No. 9
Oct./Nov. 2012
GAY &
MORMON
COUNTRY
QUEERS
OUT & ON
YOUR BALLOT
LGBTQ CANDIDATES
BECOMING
DARCELLE
REMAINING WALTER
Photo by Jeffrey Horvitz, PQ Monthly

• October/November 2012
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PQ TEAM
MONTHLY
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Owner/Publisher
melanie@pqmonthly.com
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MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE
October: the unequivocal harbinger of autumn. With it, the very real reminder that summer is far more fleeting than it seems in the middle of an
August heat wave, the reminder that change isn’t just in the air, it’s inevitable — it’s a new season, ready or not. In a day, it seems, it’s darker, colder, and
wetter. But we’re Northwesterners — we’re nothing if not resilient. Besides, with the new season comes one of our favorite holidays: Halloween.
It isn’t the candy or the parties (we have those all the time) as much as it’s the notion of casting off our identity — if just for a night (or day, depending
on your bedtime). We dive into those costumes, those themes — all for a stab at escapism, in some form or another. An alter ego. A temporary
identity, if you will. A momentary, fantastical out.
As queers, we know all about identity, don’t we? Whether we’ve been out for three months or three decades, we’re well aware of the powers of perception
— how just loving sets us apart. How we see each other, how others see us, how we see ourselves — in every facet of living imaginable. Our
awareness is like our sixth sense. Or maybe our first, because it’s that important.
Think on that, dear readers, as you explore the bounty that awaits you — for within these pages, we are serving up stories that we think represent
the best of the best queerness we’ve happened upon, as we do month in and month out (and every day online). All are diligently reported and written
with you in mind — because without you, we’d have no identity at all.
-The PQ Monthly Team
COVER IMAGE: Let them eat candy! — Learn more about the multifaceted Asia Ho Jackson on page 27. Photo by Jeffrey Horvitz, PQ Monthly;
makeup by Marsina Charleston McCall; location scouting by Lyle Spiesschaert.
A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:
New study reveals struggles of black LGBTQ Oregonians........................................................................ page 6
Terry Bean weighs in on politics — and this election................................................................................ page 9
Out and on your ballot: Queer candidates............................................................................................... page 10
Gay Mormon leader helps heal the rift between his communities......................................................... page 13
Cheese & Crack brings charcuterie to the people................................................................................... page 14
Mr. Kaplan goes to Washington................................................................................................................... page 17
Country pride: Celebrating the simple life................................................................................................. page 18
Becoming Darcelle: Walter Cole on bullies, beatniks, bathhouses, and happiness.............................. page 23
White Bird Dance welcomes community into its flock.............................................................................. page 24
Hunter Valentine and Kiss Kill serve a hot tonic.......................................................................................... page 29
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Columns: LGBTQ Legal Outlook; The Lady Chronicles; ID Check; Rain City; Cultivating Life; and Eat, Drink, and Be Mary
Plus Query a Queer, Astroscopes, This Month in Queer History, End Up Tales … and more!
October/November 2012 •

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EQUITY FOUNDATION GETS BENT TO SUPPORT
SCHOLARSHIP FUND
Equity Foundation hosts its second annual BENT Halloween
party Oct. 27 at Leftbank Annex. The fundraising
event will support the organization’s scholarship fund for
LGBTQ youth, which raised more than $68,000 last year.
“Money is so tight for college students,” says Executive
Director Peter Cunningham. “It really helps fill the gap.”
The event will include a VIP reception with performances
by Portland groove-hop group The Love Loungers
and Polaris Dance Company as well as a dance party driven
by DJ Christopher B (voted best DJ by G.I.R.L. for 2012).
Included with both VIP and dance party tickets is entry
into a cash prize ($500) costume contest.
In addition to giving out scholarships to LGBTQ students,
Equity Foundation also supports community organizations
(to the tune of about $4 million since its founding
in 1989), and engages in shareholder actions to influence
companies to adopt more inclusive policies.
For example, Equity recently sold all its stock in insurance
company Aflac because the company refused to add
-- or even vote on adding -- domestic partner benefits
to its employees. Equity has in the past helped persuade
companies such as Lowes, Target, and Best Buy to change
their ways.
Equity Foundation supporter Jane Lynch will serve as
honorary chair for the event, though she will not be in
attendance.
A limited number of tickets are available at half price
through Tuesday, Oct. 23, thanks to a donation by Steve
Dotterrer. Regular ticket prices are $150 for VIP and $50
for general admission. PQ Monthly is proud to be a sponsor
for this event. For more information, visitequityfoundation.org.
LOCAL ORGS TO COMMEMORATE 20TH
ANNIVERSARY OF MEASURE 9 DEFEAT
NEWS BRIEFS
BREVITY ROCKS! NEWS FROM NEAR AND FAR
LOCAL
BOLI FINDS ‘SUBSTANTIAL EVIDENCE’ OF
ANTI-TRANS DISCRIMINATION AT P CLUB
The undead were the life of the party at Equity Foundation’s 2011 BENT Halloween event.
The Civil Rights Division of the Oregon Bureau of Labor
and Industries (BOLI) announced Oct. 10 that it found substantial
evidence that Chris Penner, owner of North Portland’s
P Club/Twilight Room Annex, unlawfully discriminated
against the Rose City T-Girls based on the gender
identity of its members.
“No place of public accommodations in Oregon is going
to be allowed to discriminate based on gender identity,”
Oregon Labor and Industries Commissioner Brad Avakian
said in a release. “Enforcing civil rights laws is important
to all Oregonians, especially the fundamental right
to patronize businesses of your choice
without being summarily barred based
on a group affiliation.”
Members of the group of transgender
women and cross-dressers brought the
issue to attorney Beth Allen and BOLI
after the group’s founder received two
voicemails from Penner asking the
RCTG to find a new spot for its weekly
social gatherings. In the voicemail messages
Brad Avakian — which RCTG founder Cassandra Lynn posted to
YouTube — Penner expresses concern that the venue will
be seen as a “tranny bar” or “gay bar.”
Yet, BOLI investigators found that no concerns about
the group were ever raised to the RCTG.
“The P Club never notified the T-Girls of any complaints
about their behavior and never took any steps to remove
allegedly troublesome individuals,” Avakian said. “Blocking
the entire group from visiting the P Club in reaction to
rumors that the establishment ‘is a tranny bar’ is an overreaction,
is unfair, and is on its face unlawful discrimination.”
In other BOLI-related news, the bureau is collaborating
with Q Center to provide education around housing rights
for LGBTQ people. For more information on this effort,
visit pdxqcenter.org.
IN OTHER NEWS …
Basic Rights Oregon
will hold its second annual
Tr a n s g e n d e r Ju s t i c e
Summit Oct. 20-21 at Portland
State University. The
summit will include workshops
for trans and genderqueer
folks and their allies
as well as a keynote speech
from Kylar Broadus, the
founder of the Trans People
of Color Coalition and the
first openly-transgender
person to testify before the
U.S. Senate. There will also
and Family” in which she explains
her recent findings on the benefits
of marriage for everyone, regardless
of age, gender, or sexual orientation.
Her research found that
both straight and same-sex married
couples are more likely to be
healthy, happy, and well off financially
than single, separated, or
divorced folks. According to Seccombe,
cohabitators experience some, but not all, of the
benefits of married folks.
Q Center has launched a new program aimed at the
elder community called “eRa: Encouraging Respect for
Elders.” The program — which will be led by Senior Services
coordinator Susan Kocen — seeks to address the
needs and concerns of LGBTQ elders through information,
education, and social events. To learn more about the program,
visit facebook.com/qcenterERA.
The Hilton Hotel and Convention
Center of Vancouver will be
hosting an LGBTQ wedding show
called “I Do for Us Too” from 1 to
6 p.m. on Nov. 4. Tickets are $10
for couples and $8 for individuals
and can be purchase online at
idoforustoo.wordpress.com.
The Portland Area Business Association (PABA) is collaborating
with the Asian Pacific American Chamber of
Commerce (APACC) and Philippine American Chamber of
Commerce of Oregon (PACCO) to put on a business showcase
and networking event called “Uniquely Portland.” For
more information, visit paba.com.
NATIONAL
October 19 is Spirit Day, the day on which folks don
purple in a show of solidarity against bullying and in support
of LGBTQ youth. Spirit Day is a relatively recent phenomenon,
but taken hold and seen widespread adoption, including
Ellen, Oprah, national talk show hosts, and White House
staff. You can learn more about Spirit Day at glaad.org.
A new social networking website and app for HIV-positive
men launched in October. Called Volttage.com, the
Basic Rights Oregon, Q Center, and the Gay and Lesbian
Archives of the Pacific NW will host a day of action
site uses the tagline “Positively Sexy Guys” to sell the com-
Kylar Broadus
Nov. 3 to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the defeat be a Saturday night dance party in connection with the munity created to combat stigma as well as provide health,
of Oregon Ballot Measure 9 and birth of the state’s modern event. For more information, visit basicrights.org.
social, and other resources. Like Grindr, the app will use
LGBTQ rights movement.
geo-location to help users find nearby members.
Organizers hope to harness the enthusiasm created Causa will host a forum on changes to immigration
by the anniversary to help defend the freedom to marry policy affecting same-sex binational couples recently WORLD
(and the defeat of Referendum 74) in Washington state. announced by President Barack Obama. Attorney Barbara
At 9 a.m., voters will gather at Q Center to contact to Ghio will be on hand to answer questions about how the It appears no person or object is safe from Russia’s law
voters by phone and door-to-door. Afterward, Basic Rights changes affect community members. The forum will be against gay “propoganda.” According to the Advocate, an
Oregon will host a lunch a reception at Q Center, featuring
speakers and the 20-minute documentary, “Fightcultural
Center. For more information, visit causa.org. Molochnik milk (co-owned by Pepsi) because the carton
held at 7 p.m., Oct. 30, at Portland State University’s Multi-
anti-gay group is pressing authorities to investigate Vesyloy
ing for our Lives.”
features a rainbow. Will the People’s Council take on the
For more information on this event, as well as regularly Portland State University professor Karen Seccombe sky and, perhaps, Leprechauns — both of which are known
scheduled phone banking, contact kyle@basicrights.org. has published a new book called “Exploring Marriage for their pro-rainbow positions — next?
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 •

NEWS
LIFT EVERY VOICE: NEW STUDY REVEALS
STRUGGLES OF BLACK LGBTQ OREGONIANS
Photo by Erin Rook, PQ Monthly
Khalil Edwards, coordinator of the Portland PFLAG Black Chapter, co-presented the “Lift
Every Voice” report.
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
Portland PFLAG Black Chapter and the Urban League
of Portland have released a groundbreaking report that
highlights the challenges facing black LGBTQ Oregonians
and makes policy recommendations.
“We come into this world with many identities,”
PFLAG Black Chapter coordinator Khalil Edwards said
at the Oct. 11 release event. “Today we know there is
still a lot of work to do around people being safe being
their true selves.”
The report, which is the first of its kind, includes sobering
statistics about bullying, barriers to healthcare and education,
safety, and rates of incarceration. It includes insights
culled from existing studies
as well as an original study
and two focus groups. Thirty
volunteers interviewed 200
black LGBTQ Oregonians,
and collected surveys from
15 locations, such as Pride
celebrations, the Sexual
and Gender Minority Youth
Resource Center, and Cascade
AIDS Project.
“Folks were really excited
that for the first time they
were being asked what mattered
to them,” Edwards
said. “We did [focus groups]
in part to give a voice to
an often unheard population…
. We wanted to provide
an opportunity for
folks to speak beyond what the numbers can tell us.”
The numbers don’t say enough, according to Western
States Center organizer Walidah Imarisha. Though those
behind the report augmented their research with a local
survey, there were still significant gaps.
“Transgender people of color particularly are underrepresented
in many areas of research,” Imarisha said.
“We were not actually able to pull out information specifically
about trans people in our survey.”
Still, the statistics that came through were troubling. The
Lift Every Voice study found that nearly half of the respondents
(43.7 percent) earn $20,000 or less a year, while 18
percent are unemployed. These numbers are particularly
stark when combined with figures showing black lesbians
are twice as likely to be raising children as white lesbians.
The report also found
significant barriers to
healthcare access. Black
LGBTQ people experience
much higher rates of diabetes
and HIV and are more
likely to face ignorance
and abuse from medical
providers. According to
the study, 99 percent of
LGB people of color experienced
at least one barrier
to health care.
In education, the tendency
of black LGBTQ
Photo by Erin Rook, PQ Monthly
Urban League of Portland Board Chair Lolenzo Poe, City of Portland employee and activist Kathleen
Saadat, and Retired Portland Public Schools teacher Carolyn Leonard (not pictured) spoke on a
panel about the reports applications.
students to experience
harassment on multiple
levels leads to poor educational
outcomes, Imarisha
said. They are more
likely to miss class, to only have high school diploma or
GED, and to see their grades directly affected.
“I think it’s incredibly important for all of us to know
the lived reality of people in our communities,” Imarisha
said.
Katie Sawicki, urban policy associate for Urban League
lift every voicE page 29
BASIC RIGHTS OREGON CREATES FIRST TRIBAL TOOLKIT FOR LGBTQ EQUALITY
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
Basic Rights Oregon has expanded its
racial justice work into the Native American
community with a tribal toolkit to support
Se-ah-dom Edmo presented the Tribal Toolkit to the General Assembly of the Affiliated Tribes
of Northwest Indians in Pendleton.
LGBTQ equality and an “Our Families” video
featuring the stories of LGBTQ and Two Spirit
• October/November 2012
Native Americans and their families.
The materials, which will be officially
released Nov. 12, were previewed Sept. 26
at the Affiliated Tribes of Northwest Indians
conference in Pendleton. BRO offered
a sneak peek of both the film and a draft of
“The Tribal Toolkit for Equality:
Sample Tribal Codes
to Support LGBT Justice in
Indian Country,” a step-bystep
guide for tribes seeking
to increase the inclusiveness
of their governmental institutions
and programs.
“It was an amazing
opportunity to connect with
a broad range of Native and
tribal leaders,” BRO Executive
Director Jeana Frazzini
says. “The stories of Native
American LGBT [and] Two
Spirit families was very well
received, as was the tribal
toolkit. This is a very positive
beginning of what we hope will be a
long and strong partnership.”
The toolkit is a joint effort of the Native
American Program of Legal Aid Services
of Oregon, Indigenous Ways of Knowing,
Western States Center, and BRO and covers
a wide range of topics including employment
benefits, family law, and non-discrimination
policies, according to Se-ah-dom
Edmo of Indigenous Ways of Knowing.
“The Tribal Equity Toolkit is significant
because it is the first of its kind in the nation,”
Edmo says. “Written specifically for tribes and
tribal nations, it specifically addresses areas of
concern that have historically been high priorities
for tribes — keeping families together
and strong, protection of all tribal citizens,
equity and justice and decolonization.”
The toolkit was warmly received at the
convention, according to Edmo. Four tribal
leaders — from Quinault Indian Reservation,
Swinnomish Indian Community,
Klamath Tribes, and the Makah Tribe —
thanked BRO from the floor following the
presentation. Nearly 50 elected tribal leaders
pledged their support for lesbian, gay,
bisexual, and transgender people in their
tribal communities and explicitly asked for
more information about the toolkit.
“Personally and professionally, I will
remember that moment in my life as one
of the most inspirational, and this work as
my proudest accomplishment in my career
thus far,” Edmo says.
The Native American LGBT/Two Spirits
“Our Families” video will premiere at 6 p.m.
on Nov. 12 at the Native American Rehabilitation
Association of the Northwest, Inc.
(NARA), and will include a screening, a
panel discussion, and refreshments.
“The official event will start with a traditional
Native American benediction from
a respected elder,” says Kodey Park Bambino,
racial justice and alliance building
organizer for BRO. “Speakers from Basic
Rights Oregon and NARA will discuss the
significance of this intersectional work, the
uniqueness of the video, and the ways in
which Two Spirit people will continue to
play a central role in this work.”
A panel discussion will follow the presentation
during which audience members
can ask questions. To RSVP, contact Bambino
at kodey@basicrights.org.
pqmonthly.com

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October/November 2012 •

THIS MONTH
IN QUEER
HISTORY
503-885-2211
This November marks the 20th
anniversary of the defeat of
Oregon Ballot Measure 9, an
initiative put forth by the Oregon
Citizens Alliance that sought to
amend the state constitution to prohibit
public schools from “promoting”
homosexuality and require all
levels of government to teach youth
that being gay is “abnormal, wrong,
unnatural and perverse.”
Fortunately, the measure was
defeated in the Nov. 3, 1992, general
election by a margin of 56 to
43 percent. But it didn’t go down
without a fight. PQ readers shared
some of their memories from that
time.
“In 1992 I was 21 years old
and attending Linfield College in
McMinnville, Oregon. … I had just
“officially” come out to my parents
and they were STRUGGLING with
my homosexuality. … In the midst
of all this, Measure 9 was put out on
the ballot. What timing! My parents
were horrified — they were forced
to have to ‘think’ about an issue that
now personally affected them. I was
horrified — the measure reiterated
everything my parents felt and said
to me about being gay. It was a
punch in the gut. I recall my mom
sneaking ‘Yes on 9’ literature in my
bag. I remember crying when she
did, but I retaliated by putting ‘No
on 9’ pamphlets in her purse. It was
a silent, but very emotional battle
that went on for months.”
– Meighan Holder
“triangle productions! was in the
midst of producing “BENT,” a play
by Martin Sherman dealing with
homosexuals in Nazi Germany
during WWII. An amazing time.
The documentarians who were
doing the doc on Measure 9 came
and interviewed the cast and crew.
… Also, the Anne Frank Exhibit
was here during that time and I
would drive up to the theatre and
have to clean it off because people
would put swastikas on the outside
of the theatre and ‘hate fag’
notes.”
– Don Horn
Sellers list for 4%, and buyers pay nothing!
• October/November 2012
“Trust me when I tell you that with
each passing day, every one of my
friends began to feel the stress that
comes from being part of a persecuted,
marginalized group. We
stood strong but being told we
are less than others because of
our sexual orientation took its toll.
We began to feel hunted in much
the same ways my people were
hunted in Eastern Europe. It’s difficult
to describe how you begin
to look over your shoulder, sleep
with a weapon close by, get used
to being called a dyke or a faggot
lover on the street. You never get
used to it. It always hurts. Living
through Measure 9 was difficult on
our psyches.”
– Pauline Miriam
pqmonthly.com

FEATURES
DIFFERENCE-MAKER TERRY BEAN WEIGHS
IN ON POLITICS — AND THIS ELECTION
By Daniel Borgen
PQ Monthly
When it comes to our rather long, drawn out
battle for LGBTQ rights, there isn’t much Terry
Bean hasn’t borne witness to — or been intimately
involved with. Best known for co-founding
national gay powerhouses like the Human Rights
Campaign (HRC) and the Gay & Lesbian Victory
Fund, he’s inarguably among our city’s most visible
and influential civil rights activists — and he
routinely does it all on a national stage.
Bean, a fifth-generation Portlander who owns
and operates Bean Investment Real Estate, also
helped organize the National Gay Games and, in
1979, the National March on Washington for Lesbian
and Gay Rights — the first march of its kind.
That event drew thousands upon thousands of
LGBTQ people to our nation’s capital to demand
equal rights and protections.
As we’re all keenly aware by now, election day
is fast-approaching, and PQ Monthly chatted
with Bean about the past, present, and future of LGBTQ
politics — and the monumental importance surrounding
our choices Nov. 6.
On his proudest moments with HRC: “Obviously the
repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, as well as the passage of the
Hate Crimes Act, would not have been possible without
over 30 years of work educating politicians, lobbying and
raising money to support our friends and defeat our enemies,
and strategizing that path to legislative victory. Those
tireless efforts behind the scenes have too often gone unnoticed
and un-thanked — and I think that’s a shame.
“The HRC’s Corporate Equality Index has also been a
remarkable success; it changed the job market and employment
environment for LGBT people. This isn’t as effective as
passing ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act), but
it has gone a long way towards helping businesses understand
and address the needs of their LGBT employees —
and to treat them fairly in the hiring process. People forget
how different things were eight or nine years ago — when
the Federal Marriage Amendment came so close to passage.
I saw firsthand how critical the HRC was in blocking
that effort — and how they used every political chip they
had on Capitol Hill to defeat that horrible law.”
On his most memorable political moment: “It was election
night, 1990, when my best friend Barbara Roberts was
elected Governor of Oregon. It was thrilling to watch her
become the strongest governor in the country for LGBT
rights. While governor, she was also on the HRC’s Board of
Directors — something unheard of at the time.
“Another standout moment was the election of Barack
Obama — because I knew from the beginning what an
important advocate he would be for our community. Maybe
it’s because I knew him personally from the start of his
campaign, but nothing he’s done on behalf of our
community has surprised me, and it’s sometimes
been frustrating to hear naysayers among us criticize
him for not doing everything right away.”
On what he’d implore each and every reader to
consider: “Elections have serious consequences.
People say they don’t care about politics, but I
know they care about their friends being fired
from their jobs for being gay, I know they care
about respect for our relationships, and I know
they care about LGBT suicide. Who is elected
makes a huge difference for LGBT families and
our whole community. I think it’s high time we
demand our family and friends and the people
closest to us consider our equality when they
cast their vote. It is unacceptable for people who
say they love us to support those who consistently
block our path to justice and the dignity
we deserve as Americans. They must be told that
continuing to do so is an act of betrayal and will
harm our relationships.”
When Bean daydreams, in five years he imagines:
“I’d like to see a Supreme Court with a solid majority
of progressives. Over the next few years, many LGBT
cases will be heard at the highest level and it’s critical that
President Obama is reelected so he can nominate judges
who will treat our community’s concerns fairly and with
an open mind.
“The new health care law has a large number of provisions
in it that help the LGBT community — and a progressive
majority on the Supreme Court is also important
to protect equal access to health care for LGBT Americans
and their families. Everything we’ve worked so hard for, for
decades, could be put in jeopardy if we have a President
Romney instead of a President Obama.”
Look for more from Terry Bean on our website —
www.PQMonthly.com.
THE SUM OF HER PARTS: T-GIRLS ON WHAT MAKES THEM WHOLE
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
Before making headlines with their accusations of discrimination
against North Portland’s P Club,
most Portlanders had probably never heard
of the Rose City T-Girls. The 200-plus member
social group for t-girls (transgender women
and crossdressers) is not political or activist
in nature. For many of the members, group
social outings provide as safe space to dress
and present as women.
Most folks in the LGBTQ community (and,
increasingly, the world at large) know that
“transgender” is an umbrella term for various
manifestations of gender nonconformity; they
may be less familiar with those whose gender
identity, expression, or behavior differ from
social norms occasionally, rather than daily.
While some members of the RCTG identify
and present as women “full-time,” others consider
themselves crossdressers and maintain a strict separation
between their masculine and feminine identities.
Terry Bean meets with President Obama just before the president’s speech at the convention center this past July.
(Left to right) Amy Lynn, Cassandra Lynn, and Susan Miller.
Dressing and presenting a “feminine persona” is just
part of Vancouver resident Susan Miller’s identity. It’s an
important part of the 48-year-old retail worker’s self-care
and social routine, but she says she can’t imagine transitioning
to live as a woman full-time.
“Susan, my female side, is only part of who I am and
what makes me the person I am. I need both male and
female sides in my life,” Susan says. “There are things I love
about being female and would love to do all the time, but
the same thing also applies to being male.”
Cassandra Lynn can relate. Though the 51-year-old Beaverton
business owner has thought about getting
breast implants, she doesn’t want to be a
woman full-time. RCTG member and 61-yearold
Tualatin resident Amy Lynn, on the other
hand, currently dresses part-time but hopes
to transition to full-time after she retires from
her job in auto parts sales.
Though Susan and Cassandra present as
woman part-time, it doesn’t mean their feminine
identities are any less important to them.
Susan blog regularly about her experiences as
a crossdresser and Cassandra is the founder of
RCTG (and the driving force between the complaint
against P Club).
“I hate the word ‘just’ in the transgender
world,” Cassandra says. “I can’t stand when
someone that is full time transitioned say ‘you are JUST
a crossdresser,’ conveying they are better than me, or I
t-girls page 24
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 •

POLITICS
OUT AND ON YOUR BALLOT: LGBTQ CANDIDATES
By Nick Mattos
PQ Monthly
In the midst of many highly divisive and heated electoral races — many of which cause
members of the queer community consternation — one thing concretely shows how far
the LGBTQ people have come in the political realm: the 2012 ballot has one of the highest
number of openly queer people running for national or state offices of any previous
election. Here, we provide a space for some of the openly LGBTQ candidates who will be
appearing on our ballots to give a statement for the readers of PQ Monthly. While these
are not to be taken as endorsements of the candidates or their platforms, PQ presents
these statements in honor of the members of the LGBTQ community who put themselves
under the spotlight of the political process in order to enact change for their communities
and the world. Want to sound off on the platforms and share your thoughts on the
candidates? Head over to PQMonthly.com for community discussion, statements from
numerous other candidates, and ongoing coverage of the 2012 election.
KATE BROWN, SECRETARY OF STATE
“I have been your Secretary of State for four years, and
today, I ask for your support so I can continue to be your
watchdog — finding savings and efficiencies in state government,
fighting fraud in Oregon’s citizen initiative process, and
defending Oregon from the right-wing war on voting that is
gaining attention in states across the country.
I also ask for your vote this November so I can continue to
be your advocate. As a state legislator, I am most proud of our
work to pass the Oregon Equality Act that prohibits discrimination
on the basis of sexual orientation.
I am also proud of our work on domestic partnerships. But
to be clear, I can’t wait for Oregon to show that love and commitment
are what make a marriage because the only real threat to marriage is when we
allow laws to stand between two people who are brave and bold and bonded enough to
dedicate their lives to each other.
What got us this far is a progressive instinct. We are less moved by ideology than an innate
sense of what is right, what is just and what is fair. This progressive instinct is part of what
I love about Oregon and I have great faith that this tradition is alive and well here in Oregon.
With your vote, we can defend the progressive spirit we have created here in Oregon
— and keep it moving forward.”
NENA COOK, OREGON SUPREME COURT
“I am running for an open seat on the Oregon Supreme
Court because I strongly believe that, in order to guarantee
integrity in the courts and ensure all Oregonians receive fair
and independent justice, we must have a court that is made
up of justices who draw from differing and diverse experiences.
This experience is exactly what I would bring to the
Supreme Court.
My record of service to Oregonians is both broad and deep.
I have extensive civil law experience, having represented individuals,
consumers, businesses, labor unions, and public
bodies in court. I bring experience in criminal cases, having
worked in the Marion County District Attorney’s office as a
certified law student. I also bring appellate experience and
have had cases in the Oregon Court of Appeals, the Oregon Supreme Court, and the federal
Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. And, since 2007, I have gained judicial experience
serving as a pro tem judge.
My commitment to integrity in the courts goes beyond my professional experience. My
family fell on very difficult times when I was a child after my parents divorced, resulting in
much-needed help of lawyers to sort through our situation. They were there for me and
my family, and that commitment left a lasting and profound impression on me. Through
this experience, in my own career, I have a life-long need to continue giving back to my
community and ensure all people have fair access to our legal system.
Oregonians are very fair-minded, and I am proud that voters
evaluate candidates based on their records and experiences. I
am honored to have the support of the LGBT community.”
CHRISTINA LUGO, REPRESENTATIVE, HOUSE DISTRICT 5
(PACIFIC GREEN PARTY)
“I am running for U.S. House of Representatives because I
believe that it is important to stand for progressive values like
the environment, health care, and peace at a time when the
Democrats have abandoned the poor and working classes in
America. It is time to end the war in Afghanistan now, time
for single-payer health care for all Americans, time to invest
10 • October/November 2012
in a green energy future to turn us away from the deleterious affects of global climate
change. It is time for civil rights for all Americans, including the right to marry and the
right to employment nondiscrimination. The Green Party has stood proudly for peace,
women’s rights, the environment, and health care for more than 25 years since its founding
in Oregon. As a Green and a member of the GLBTQ community, I am running proudly
as an advocate for peace and a healthy planet.”
STEPHEN DURHAM, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
(FREEDOM SOCIALIST PARTY)
“I am an openly gay presidential candidate running with
Christina López as my vice-presidential running mate. We are
campaigning on a socialist feminist platform that addresses all
the issues facing the broadest sectors of the LGBT community:
homophobia, marriage equality, transgender discrimination,
racism, sexism, ageism, anti-immigrant prejudice — in addition
to the need for jobs, housing, and affordable healthcare.
Our campaign slogan is, ‘Vote for the Greater Good Instead
of the Lesser Evil.’
I have been out of the closet since the 1969 Stonewall Rebellion
and a queer activist in the labor, anti-police brutality,
feminist, immigrant rights, anti-war, and social justice movements.
I became a radical because I adhere to the idea that none of us is free until all of
us are free. I am a socialist candidate because I believe the capitalist system is brutal
and unjust and is not capable of meeting our needs. Our lives and our futures are knitted
together as women, workers, people of color, youth, elders, immigrants, and the disabled
as never before. We must use our votes to challenge the political lockdown of the
electoral arena by not delivering our votes to the Democrats or Republicans, the twin parties
of Big Business. We must strengthen the queer movement and all the social movements
and work together in solidarity to create a new system, based on the social sharing
of wealth and power.”
TINA KOTEK, REPRESENTATIVE, HOUSE DISTRICT 44
(DEMOCRATIC PARTY)
“We’re going to make history in Oregon in 2012. With an
evenly split 30-30 House of Representatives, this election will
allow Oregonians to choose between two very stark sets of
priorities for our state. One will push tax giveaways for the
very rich and out-of-state corporations at the expense of our
schools and other services we all rely on.
The other will prioritize education, jobs, and standing up
for the middle class. It will protect a woman’s right to make
her own private health care decisions without intrusion from
politicians. It will defend all that we’ve fought for to protect
the civil rights of all Oregonians.
I get up every day to fight for that second vision for Oregon,
where every one of us gets a chance to live the life we were
meant to live. Between now and Nov. 6, I hope you’ll join me.
Please find a candidate who believes in prioritizing equal opportunity and equal rights,
and join me in making sure their vision is Oregon’s future.”
CAMERON WHITTEN, STATE TREASURER
“As a community, we pride ourselves in seeing the big picture.
Oregon’s pioneering spirit has put us ahead of the nation,
time and time again.
Statistics reveal that $9.5 billion of Oregon’s short term funds
are invested into various financial institutions, including Citigroup,
Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase, and Bank of America.
The majority of these funds are located outside of Oregon.
Investment officers travel the world to manage this portfolio,
and can charge flight, food, and lodging fees to the treasury.
While these investments are intended to provide a rate of
return, it is stripping our local economy of capital that should
be channeled into small business startups.
... A state bank is a solution to Oregon’s financial hardships.
Oregonians deserve a say over how our assets are managed,
rather than CEOs who make their decisions miles away
from Oregon. … A State Bank of Oregon will employ talented
bankers to partner with the private sector, helping local banks lower interest on loans,
increase lending capacities, and help entrepreneurs and farmers access the capital they
need to grow our economy.
… 2012 is the right year to build a coalition around the State Bank of Oregon. As treasurer,
I will be at the legislature to encourage bipartisan support for a resilient economy,
based on resilient structures that are answerable to the democratic will of the people.”
pqmonthly.com

pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 11

12 • October/November 2012
pqmonthly.com

FEATURES
‘AS MY FATHER MADE ME’
Gay Mormon leader Mitch Mayne helps heal the rift between his communities
By Nick Mattos
PQ Monthly
Mitch Mayne is led by his faith that he is whole, just
the way his Heavenly Father made him. As an openly gay
leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,
Mayne has endeavored to bridge the divide between his
two communities — and his efforts have
resulted in many Mormon communities
discontinuing their discipline of LGBTQ
members and instead embracing them
as they are.
“When I came out to my parents at
age 16,” he recalls of his life growing up
in Idaho, “my mother told me, ‘It would
have been better if you’d been born dead
than gay.’”
While this reaction — and a subsequent
unsuccessful effort to force him into
“reparative therapy” — was hard for Mayne
initially, he has since come to a place of forgiveness
and understanding, particularly
with his mother’s reaction.
“What I realized in retrospect,” he
explains, “were that these weren’t the words
of a mother who hated her son. These were the words of a
Mormon mom who wanted the best for me, who had been
through some very difficult things in her life and had really
internalized the message that gay people were doomed to
live short, hard, brutal lives of debauchery.”
Mayne moved from Idaho to the San Francisco Bay Area
12 years ago; there, he was stunned to discover a radically
different experience of being gay and LDS.
“I had an amazing life for a gay Mormon man! I was celebrated
by my ward for who I was. It wasn’t uncommon
on Sundays for someone to come up to me and say ‘Hey!
There’s a play by [LDS author and activist] Carol Lynn Pearson
playing in the city about gay Mormons! You should
come with me!’”
During this time, Mayne met a partner who was not a
member of the Church; fellow members were highly supportive
of the couple, and he continued to be an active
member of the Mormon community.
In 2008, Proposition 8 threatened to destroy the life that
Mayne worked hard to build. The California state constitutional
amendment, which defined marriage as a union
between one man and one woman, was ardently supported
by numerous religious organizations, perhaps most aggressively
by the LDS Church.
“When Prop 8 hit, it was a really divisive time for Mormons
in California,” Mayne recalls, “and we lost a lot of members
over it. I remember hearing the letter [that
the LDS Church issued in support of Proposition
8] read in Sacrament Meeting, and
getting up to walk out of the church.”
However, the biggest impact for Mayne
was at home. “My partner, who wasn’t a
member, … started to really dislike the
church. When Prop 8 hit, our home life
began to crumble, because I was committed
to the church and my faith but also
to him.” The relationship ultimately dissolved
over the religious tensions caused
by the issue.
However, soon after the passage of
Proposition 8, Mayne’s prayers began to
be answered in a most surprising way. “I
was approached by the Stake Presidency
[a regional leader] in the East Bay, who said
that he was familiar with my story and my Mormon history;
he was trying to put together a series of programs that would
mend the fence after Proposition 8 and they wanted my help
with it.”
These meetings — 16 in all, in locations throughout
Northern California — sought to integrate the gay and
Mormon communities and to open up a dialogue after the
strains of the bitter battles that had just occurred.
Soon afterward, Mayne was asked to become a regional
leader of the church himself. “Don Fletcher [the San Francisco
Stake President] sat me down and said, ‘I want you
to be a conduit between the LDS community and the gay
community,’” Mayne recalls.
Mayne’s appointment to the local church leadership
marked a sea change in the experience of gay Mormons
in the area.
“In San Francisco,” he explains, “we haven’t changed doctrine,
but we’ve been adamant that we’re not excommunicating
people for being gay or transgender anymore. We have
Photo courtesy of Mayne Frame Photography
LGBTQ members who have partners, who are dating, who
are single — but no one is under the threat of discipline. Our
job is to bring people closer to our Savior, and we’re not doing
our job if we’re kicking people out of our church.”
The actions of the San Francisco stake have had significant
impact in the larger Mormon community. “Since we’ve
become so public and big about what we’re doing, we’re
seeing other wards across the states emulate us — there are
wards in D.C., Virginia, Arizona, and elsewhere that have
adopted this sensibility. … There is a recognition in many
Mormon hearts that excommunication of LGBT people is
simply not a Christlike thing to do.”
Mayne travels worldwide working with LDS leaders
and communities — including local Mormons in Portland
and Beaverton — helping them to better serve their queer
members and ensure that they feel safe and comfortable
in the church.
“The truth of the matter,” Mayne states bluntly, “is that
Mormons are kind of weird, and we’ve been persecuted by
society. The same is true of the gay community. So, when we
do that to our own, it stymies and troubles me greatly. That’s a
critique for both communities: we have to learn to be kinder to
our own as well as each other. The LGBT community is really
the first to call for unity, equality, and inclusion, yet there is so
much anger towards the Mormon community that we have
a difficult time extending it to the church. We need to be, as
gay people, more loving, more kind, more Christlike, and be
what we seek to achieve. … Yes, the Mormons did a bad thing,
and I think Prop 8 and everything around it was one of the
most un-Christlike things the church has done. This doesn’t
mean that the gay community has the right or the necessity
to hate the church. Instead, we need to open up the dialogue
and help them see how we are so much alike.”
Ultimately, Mayne sees his journey — as a gay man and a
Latter-Day Saint — as an expression of faith in a very present
and personal God.
“I know that my Savior lives,” he says as he bears his testimony
of faith, “and He knows me better than anyone. He
is my very best friend. There is nothing I can’t take to that
relationship — my successes, my failures, my challenges
and my fears, my sex life, my dating life, my friendships,
my career. Everything. Everything is part of Him and that
relationship with Him. All we have to open the door and
let Him in, regardless of who we are.”
FEMINIST ICON GLORIA STEINEM TALKS ABOUT SHARED STRUGGLES
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
Feminist icon and Ms. magazine cofounder
Gloria Steinem was in town Oct. 6
for NARAL Pro-Choice Oregon’s Annual Gala.
PQ Monthly had a chance to sit and chat with
her briefly (along with young journalists from
the Tubman News Network) before the big
event. Steinem shared her thoughts on the
importance of identity-specific spaces and
the connections between the women’s rights
and LGBTQ rights movements.
A former student of the Harriet Tubman
Leadership Academy for Young Women (the
recently closed all-girls middle school),
asked about the importance of a women’sonly
education:
“I think it’s very helpful at some time in
our lives, if we come from a group that has
been peripheralized in some way for whatever
reason — whether it’s age or race or
sexuality or sex or class or whatever it is —
to be central, to find out what it’s like to be
central. To be together and able to tell our
stories and discover that our experiences
are not our fault — that it happens to other
people too.”
PQ Monthly asked Steinem to speak the
connections between feminism and LGBTQ
rights activism:
“Well, first I think that what is still not
well enough understood is that what’s called
the women’s movement and what’s called
the LGBTQA — A, we have to include allies
— movement is organically connected.
Sometimes when I’m on campus people
will say, ‘Why are the same groups against
birth control and lesbians?’ So I think we
need to understand that the hierarchical,
patriarchal view of life is that sexuality
is only moral and acceptable when it’s
directed towards having children and is
inside patriarchal marriage. So the gay and
lesbian movements and the women’s movement
have always come together because
we are all trying to free human sexuality to
be a form of expression — not only the way
we procreate.
“I fear sometimes our adversaries know
our connections better than we do. Otherwise
people wouldn’t be asking that question.
We need to know we’re not alone so
we need to be able to speak our experience
and know that
other people are
having it, too.
... It’s just very
important to be
able to see that
there is both
shared experience
and shared
opposition.”
St e i n e m i s
currently working
on a memoir
called “Road to
the Heart: America
As if Everyone Mattered.” More details are
available at gloriasteinem.com.
Photo by Jules Garza, PQ Monthly
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 13

OPINION
237 NE Broadway #101 equity group
FUN IN A BOX: FOOD CART CHEESE & CRACK
BRINGS CHARCUTERIE TO THE PEOPLE
By Nick Mattos
PQ Monthly
“I love surprises,” explains William Frederick Steuernagel
V, owner of Cheese & Crack. Currently in its fourth
month of operation, the acclaimed food cart succeeds in
providing a tactile, sensory dining experience that is as high
in surprise as it is on fun.
Photos by William Steuernagel
Cheese & Crack serves up a sophisticated take on Lunchables.
“I used to cater back in college,” Steuernagel, a native
of Oklahoma, explains of his inspiration for the cart.
“Making a good cheese spread was one of my favorite
things — a plethora of different cheeses and meats,
the accoutrements, the sweet things and the spice. The
whole flavor spectrum.”
Upon moving to Oregon, he was impressed by Portland’s
food cart culture, but didn’t see it as a sustainable
business model.
“People go into business and then immediately go out,”
Steuernagel says.
However, after revisiting his childhood-favorite Lunchables
— and discovering just how ghastly their modern
iteration is — he was inspired to create a food cart based
on individual boxed portions of meats, cheeses, crackers,
spreads, and sides that Steuernagel likens to “a deconstructed
sandwich.”
After gathering a small business loan and drumming
up $4,300 with a Kickstarter campaign, Cheese & Crack
was born.
While Cheese & Crack is currently located in a quaint
and quiet alley space off SE Hawthorne Blvd. at 33rd Ave.,
nestled between cafés and vintage clothing stores, Steuernagel
views this location as both “sketchy” and temporary.
“This [location] is my ‘training wheels’,” he explains,
“although I love that I’m in a sketchy alleyway. Where else
do you expect to find cheese and crack?”
He is currently on the waiting list for a space in a
cart pod near Powell’s in downtown Portland, where
he hopes that his “adult Lunchables” can bring some
fun to office workers’ meal breaks.
“Fun” is a good summation of what Steuernagel endeavors
to bring to Portland’s palates with Cheese & Crack — a niche
he sees underrepresented in our gastronomic culture.
“Food can be taken so seriously in Portland,” he explains,
“and especially on the higher end of things can result in a
very serious, non-playful plate — a sliver of
carrot and a sliver of rutabaga topped with
one grain of salt. I need a handful of salt, and
I need some cheese with it!”
To accomplish this, Steuernagel focuses
on providing the highest-quality components
for his customers, allowing diners to organize
them into a meal any way they see fit.
“The menu is based on extremes,” he says,
“really salty options, really sweet jams, really
sour fruits — unexpected things. It’s a full
range of flavor within a box. “About half of
my menu is locally-made products, and the
other half is purchased
from local importer Classic
Foods.”
As part of his commitment
to the Portland sensibility,
the cart provides
its customers with compostable
flatware and
boxes, keeping landfill
waste to a minimum.
To accommodate seasonality
and variety, each
day’s boxes vary; however,
the offerings consistently
include exotic
cured meats, housemade
savory cookies, and unique home-cured pickles —
a sort of high-end ploughman’s lunch. In addition to the
charcuterie boxes, Cheese & Crack also offers a full sodaand-bitters
bar, allowing customers to compliment their
meal with such refreshing and exotic flavors as rhubarb
and cherry.
“The flavors are meant to quench thirst and compliment
the cheese,” Steuernagel says, “but it’s also fun to see how
each person customizes their drink experience.”
On Cheese & Crack’s refrigerator hangs a postcard with
the admonishment, “Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.” While Steurnagel’s
endeavor certainly engages with hunger in many
ways, the cart succeeds in being one of the most fun, refreshing,
and innovative dining options in a diverse and challenging
gastronomic scene — so, perhaps the only foolish part is
that nobody beat the young entrepreneur to the punch.
Cheese & Crack is located in the alley of SE Hawthorne
and 33rd Ave. in Portland. For more information, call 918-
798-5605 or check out cheeseandcrack.com.
PQ Monthly is published
the 3rd Thursday of every month.
Please contact us for advertising opportunities.
503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM
14 • October/November 2012
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pqmonthly.com

LGBTQ LEGAL OUTLOOK
OPINION
THE SUPREME COURT’S
SLOW SHIFT ON
CIVIL RIGHTS
By Mark Johnson Roberts
PQ Monthly
The United States Supreme Court has
not historically been a sympathetic forum
for LGBTQ concerns. Whether in matters
of immigration, government employment,
national security, or the criminal law, the
court was no great friend of the gays for
many, many years. Only in recent years has
this pattern begun to change.
In 1995, in Romer v. Evans, the court overturned
Amendment 2, Colorado’s “no special
rights” constitutional amendment that sought
to prohibit gays and lesbians from petitioning
the government for civil rights protections.
And most famously, in Lawrence v. Texas,
the court in 2003 invalidated all remaining
sodomy laws in the United States.
Except for an obscure 1972 decision
issued without an opinion, however, the
issue of marriage rights for same-sex couples
has never occupied the court’s attention.
That situation is about to change radically
in the coming term.
This year, at least six marriage-related
cases will be before the Supreme Court. They
fall into two sets: those that challenge the federal
Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and the
one that raises the marriage issue explicitly.
The Defense of Marriage Act, which Congress
enacted and President Clinton signed in 1996,
bars federal benefits for marriages between
same-sex partners contracted under state
law. For the last several years, all courts considering
DOMA have held it to be unconstitutional,
on a variety of theories. Last year, the
Obama administration announced that the
constitutionality of the law could no longer
in good faith be defended and that it would
no longer do so. The Supreme Court, however,
has yet to speak.
The lead cases are from Massachusetts.
Gill v. Office of Personnel Management
(now called BLAG v. Gill, for the Bipartisan
Legal Advisory Group that Congress formed
to defend the law) and Massachusetts v. US
Department of Health and Human Services
each challenge DOMA’s definition of “marriage”
as unconstitutional. Each was favorably
decided in the Massachusetts federal
trial court. The United States Court of Appeals
for the First Circuit affirmed in both cases that
DOMA was unconstitutional. BLAG sought
review by the Supreme Court.
Occasionally, the Supreme Court will
take a case away from a lower court and rule
on it itself, because of the importance of the
case or for other reasons. The Department
of Justice has asked the court to take a case
away from the Ninth Circuit — Golinski v.
Office of Personnel Management — and
decide it together with the Massachusetts
cases. Similarly,
the citizen litigants
in Pederson
v. Office of Personnel
Management
and Windsor v. United States have asked
that those cases be taken away from the
Second Circuit and decided by the Supreme
Court this term. Of particular note here is
Edith Windsor, whose wife died in 2009
and who was forced to pay over $350,000
in federal estate taxes that she would not
have owed but for DOMA. She is elderly
and in frail health and the concern is that
she might not live to see her case decided
if the court does not act quickly.
Lastly, there is the actual marriage case,
Hollingsworth v. Brown. (This case was formerly
called Perry v. Schwarzenegger and,
later, Perry v. Brown.) In this case from the
Ninth Circuit, plaintiffs in California challenged
in federal court the voters’ adoption in
2008 of Proposition 8, a constitutional ballot
measure that overturned that state’s court
decision legalizing marriage between samesex
partners. While the trial judge decided it
on sweeping grounds — holding Proposition
8 unconstitutional — the Ninth Circuit
affirmed on a basis so narrow that it currently
applies only to the state of California.
What the court will do with all of this is a
matter of rampant speculation. The lawyers
in Perry obviously think they have the votes
on the Court — five are required — to overturn
Proposition 8; otherwise, presumably,
they would not have brought the case. Other
court watchers note that the court tends to
favor an incremental approach, suggesting
that the DOMA cases may receive its attention
this term and marriage itself at some
future time. At a minimum, though, the
court will have to decide the Hollingsworth
petition, meaning, if it is denied, that marriage
between same-sex partners would
become legal in California once again.
The court’s first conference, at which
votes could be taken and actions on petitions
announced, has already passed. It is
likely to be late October at least before any
more is known. If the court is watching the
polls, same-sex marriage is on the ballot in
four states this year, and the decision on the
petitions may not come until after the election
in November.
Knowing the court’s action on the petitions,
of course, will tell us only what cases
the court plans to hear this year. Hard news
of how the court views the foremost civil
rights issue of our time likely will not be
known until near the end of the court’s term
in June. Until then, advocates and opponents
will continue to handicap the outcome
and to wait with growing anticipation.
• •
•
Portland attorney Mark Johnson Roberts practices family law at the
Gevurtz Menashe law firm with a particular focus on LGBT family law
issues. He can be reached at markj@gevurtzmenashe.com.
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 15

Happy Birthday, Darcelle!
The Linnton Community
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are throwing Darcelle a
birthday party and YOU
are invited!
• $5 donation to Camp
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for the Linnton
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FEATURES
MR. KAPLAN GOES TO WASHINGTON
By Daniel Borgen
PQ Monthly
Saying goodbye is always the hardest, isn’t it? Even
if it is for the best, and the person leaving is about to
do some great things. There’s just something about the
leaders of our nonprofits — they keep getting plucked
Photo by Jules Garza, PQ Monthly
Michael Kaplan addresses enthusiastic walkers the morning of 2012’s record-breaking AIDS Walk Portland.
for these big-time, far-reaching assignments. First,
Kendall Clawson leaves Q Center for Salem — and now
Michael Kaplan is leaving Cascade AIDS Project (CAP)
for AIDS United in Washington, D.C.
CAP announced Kaplan’s departure just before this year’s
record-setting AIDS Walk — an event that went off without
a hitch, attracting the city’s and state’s finest, including
Governor John Kitzhaber, who praised CAP’s work and
momentum, especially when contrasted with some spots
around the nation without anything like it.
“There are definitely a few places that might be tired
or lackluster, but there are so many others doing amazing
things,” Kaplan said of the governor’s assessment. “The reality,
though: after 30 years, a lot of folks are just burnt out.”
“I actually think now is the most exciting time for this
work,” he continued. “After 20 years of living with HIV, for
the first time I believe there’s a clear path to ending this
epidemic. We just learned early treatment not only extends
life — but it reduces the likelihood of infecting partners by
96 percent. That’s huge.”
Kitz heaped a bunch of praise on the work CAP has
done — and does. But it hasn’t always been sunshine and
rainbows.
“My first year at CAP we had some real challenges,”
Kaplan recalled. “We laid off six staff and had a $330,000
deficit. That said, there is a great group of people there and
a lot of history. I’m the seventh executive director, and each
one before me moved it to where it is today. More important
are the hundreds of folks who get involved — board
members, staff, or volunteers — those people make that
place work.”
AIDS United, Kaplan’s new digs, is a nonprofit
that formed in 2010 after a merger
between the National AIDS Fund and AIDS
Action Council. Their stated mission: to end
the epidemic in the United States — and to
do so, they coordinate grants, technical assistance,
and steer policymaking.
“One of the things that really excites me
about AIDS United is the clear and concise
mission to end AIDS in the U.S,” Kaplan said.
“During my 10 years of working in D.C., before
moving to Portland, I worked internationally —
with staff and programs around the globe. I’ve
seen a lot of domestic talent and energy turn
with excitement to international work, but for
me, the opportunity to now focus exclusively
on the U.S. at such an incredible turning point
in this epidemic is exciting.”
Even with all that excitement comes with
rather bittersweet realization that he and his
partner, Sean, will be pretty far away from some of their
now-favorite spots.
“I lived in D.C. from 1998 to 2008 and I loved it — there’s
so much going on there and so much to do. But I’m a much
better person for the four years I’ve spent in Oregon. I’ve
learned to create a better balance between work and life,
and to enjoy the day-to-day stuff more. There’s just so much
here — whether it’s going to Mount Hood, the Gorge, or just
walking from our house in Mt. Tabor. I really can’t think of
a more beautiful place in the world — especially between
July 5 and the end of September.”
And they’ll be taking the memory of one of their most
meaningful experiences — and a particularly brave one
— with them: while in Portland, Kaplan and his partner
became foster parents.
“The foster parenting was really thanks to Sean,” he
said. “I don’t think I would have done it if not for him,
but I’m so glad we did. We took Alice in at 4 — and she
was supposed to be a two-week placement. She ended
up staying with us for a year and a half. She’s now been
adopted by her aunt — but we try to stay in touch. That,
like living in Oregon, really changed my outlook on life,
and I think parenting really helped balance me. I’ve
always been a little impatient and I had to learn to be a
lot more patient.”
“Sean and I are having lots of talks about doing it again,”
he added, “but first we need to get moved and situated in
D.C. before looking deeper. And, what can I say, the Oregon
Department of Human Services was great to work with;
they had no issue with two gay, HIV-positive men raising
Alice, nor did Alice’s family. They were really supportive and
there’s definitely a huge need — you have to go through a
lot before they’ll place someone. Classes, home assessment,
references, background checks — so much more. But once
you’re there, it’s worth it.”
CAP certainly has some big shoes to fill — but, as Kaplan
points out, it’s really about the framework already in place
— and community engagement.
“I’ve felt very lucky for this opportunity at CAP and I
know the success
of the agency is
the result of a lot
of different people
and communities
working together.
It’s about dynamic
individuals taking
collective action —
that’s how CAP succeeds.
But, in the
end, it won’t be collective
action that
ends the epidemic.
It’ll come down to
individual ones:
each person committing
to knowing
their status, to getting
linked to care
and treatment, and,
when warranted, to
being open about
their status. It’s a
commitment to
having the hard conversations
about the
things that put us at
risk and not turning
our backs on those
infected.”
Kaplan and his partner, Sean Sasser, pose for an AIDS Walk
2012 promotional image.
The search for Kaplan’s successor is on — and we’ll
follow that story as it develops. In the interim, let us say:
bon voyage, Michael (and Sean, too). You’re welcome back
anytime. Portland will be here with open arms.
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pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 17

FEATURES
COUNTRY PRIDE: CELEBRATING THE SIMPLE LIFE
18 • October/November 2012
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
You can take the queer out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the
queer. It’s no secret that rural LGBTQ folks often flee their conservative hometowns for the
progressive promise of the nearest metropolis. But those who do don’t shed their country
culture when they merge onto the freeway. Meanwhile, those who stay behind create
their own queer culture among the cornfields and cow pastures.
These are four stories of LGBTQ folks bucking stereotypes to stay true to themselves
and their rural roots.
DIGGIN’ IN
Urban farming may be all the rage in cities like Portland,
but 26-year-old Chloe Flora and 29-year-old Amari Fauna
come to their interest in working the land honestly. The
two self-identified transdykes behind Blue Door Farm both
grew up in rural areas where farming was a way of life.
Flora spent summers bucking hay, digging ditches,
and helping neighbors tend to their animals while Fauna
worked her family’s potato farm and cared for a menagerie
including chickens, ducks, pigs, cows, horses, and
sheep.
“It has been amazing to watch as our food bills have
dropped to very low levels during our productive months,”
Fauna says. “Rewards aside, it just feels right to take our
combined histories and put them into action.”
Chloe Flora
The pair made their first foray into urban farming with
a small yard in 2009 and have grown into a larger plot of land that is now home to a large
garden, small food forest, bee hives, and a dozen chickens. What began a solitary subsistence
project has grown to encompass the wider community.
“Urban permaculture farming in Portland is an incredibly cis[gender], straight world.
Finding other farmers that are queer, let alone queer and trans, makes us a bit unique,”
Fauna says. “We originally set out to do this with a focus on just meeting our own needs.
It’s only since moving into our new home that we’ve started to enjoy the ability to share
the abundance with others. And I think people are catching on.”
The farm’s Facebook page is starting to accumulate followers neither Flora nor Fauna
know personally, the pair is starting to build connections with other queer farmers, and
the farm’s eggs and ferments are selling out.
“This is our way of reclaiming some of our rural past that we gave up in seeking community
and resources,” Fauna says.
RIDIN’ AND ROPIN’
Dean Blades, 51, grew up on a grass seed farm east of
Salem where his family also raised cattle and horses. One
of his uncles was a bull rider, and Blades developed an
early interest in the rodeo.
It’s a passion that has followed him through life. When
he isn’t working as a general contractor for the construction
business he owns with his brother, Blades spends
much of his time at the rodeo. In addition to serving as
the president of the Santiam Canyon Stampede, a professional
rodeo owned by the Stayton/Sublimity Rodeo Association,
he also helps a friend run the video equipment
that provides score-keeping and instant replay to professional
rodeos across the western United States.
When he’s not traveling, he keeps close to home. Blades
Photo by Jonathan Reitan, PQ Monthly
lives in Sublimity with his partner, a mere four miles from
Dean Blades
where he grew up. While the thought of walking through (let
alone living in) a town of fewer than 3,000 people is enough to make most city gays quake
in their ironic cowboy boots, Blades says country folks get an undeserved bad rap.
“I get along with most everyone I encounter in the rodeo community and find that this
group of people are probably the most honest, caring people you’ll ever come across,”
Blades says. “I think the rodeo and rural community is a lot more tolerant and supportive
of the gay community than a lot of people think.”
Still, Blades says he’s interested in organizing a gay rodeo to bring his two worlds closer
together.
“There hasn’t ever been one done here that I have been able to find, at least not a real
rodeo. There have been people try to get some things started but it has mostly only produced
social events and not an actual rodeo,” he says. “I may be trying to achieve something
that’s not possible, but would love to make it happen someday.”
BOOT SCOOTIN’
Though José Miguel Cruz, 33, has no interest in
returning to the rural and suburban parts of Kansas
where he spent his childhood, he still feels connected
to the simple way of life and the music that illustrates
it.
“Music is a visceral element and is tied to many of
my childhood memories. I’m not in contact with most
José Miguel Cruz
of my family, so in some ways it’s how I stay close to
my roots,” Cruz says. “Growing up and going to country
and western dances with my mom and then coming out as gay at a young age [12], I
never thought I would be able to combine the two.”
But then in 2008 he discovered the gay and lesbian country dances put on by DJ Crystal
at the PPAA in Portland, and the seeds of three popular queer country dance nights
were planted.
“I loved that gay men and lesbians were doing couples dances together, but my favorite
couple that [first] night was this gay male couple who were in, I’m guessing, their early
50s — wearing tight Wranglers, cowboy hats, and matching belt buckles. They were spinning
each other around so tenderly,” he recalls. “I’d never seen anything like it and it was
like my worlds had collided in the best way possible.”
Cruz began teaching his friends to line-dance and two-step at the annual Trans Family
Picnic and, before long, a friend with a barn in the city offered it up for organized dances.
Known simply as “Barn Dance,” the event drew large crowds of first-timers and old-timers
alike for the six months the space was available.
When the barn closed up, Cruz moved on, DJing “Goldspur” with Jenstar at Spare Room
and “Gay Country Pizza” with Jodi Bon Jodi at Portsmouth Pizza Pub. While neither of
those events happens today, Cruz says the dances at PPAA are still going strong.
“There are a lot of queers who grew up in the country, live in the country, or enjoy
country music, and it’s great to have a space where we can express that part of our musical
and cultural interests,” Cruz says. “Plus, it’s so sexy to hold a handsome guy close and
spin around the floor with him.”
DO-SI-DOIN’
Like many people in her generation, 32-year-old
Jane Palmieri (aka Montanna Jane) was first introduced
to square dancing in elementary school gym class. But
while most children are glad to graduate from holding
the sweaty palms of awkward classmates, Palmieri
found herself drawn to the music and patterns of the
folk dance as an adult.
“It appealed to me because it had its roots in the
mountains that I grew up in … , the Blue Ridge Mountains
of Appalachians — cow pasture to one end of
the property, a creek at the bottom of the hill, and
peach orchards up the mountain,” she says. “Oddly
Photo by Vanessa Filkins enough I have never square danced to live music in
Jane Palmieri aka Montanna Jane
Virginia.”
Palmieri hosted her first Portland Queer Square
Dance in 2009 and, despite a rough start, was able to launch a series the following year at
In Other Words Feminist Resource Center. These days, she organizes a gender-free dance
every fourth Sunday as part of Every Sunday Square Dance.
Traditionally, square dance calls have distinct directions for “ladies” and “gents,” but
gender-free dances use a combination of dances that don’t rely on roles and creative substitutes
for gendered calls.
“Sometimes if I really want to feature a great dance, instead of saying ‘gent’ and ‘lady’
I’ll use ‘anchor’ and ‘line,’ ‘gentle-spoons’ and ‘ladles,’ or ‘talls and smalls,’” Palmieri says.
“There is another dance that I’ve changed Adam and Eve to Adam and Steve. We ask that
night that people use elbow swings and two-hand swings instead of ballroom swings so
that there is not a different hand position for each dancer.”
Because the dances are no longer exclusively queer, the crowd gains diversity while
maintaining its gender-free focus.
“It’s an all-ages community dance, not a pickup scene. This is an event where crusty
punks dance with lawyers and everyone is welcome,” Palmieri says. “Folks are given the
opportunity and permission to hold hands in a safe, non-threatening, and nonsexual way.
Touching a stranger is very uncommon in our current society.”
To learn more about the organizations mentioned in this article, find them online: Blue
Door Farm (facebook.com/bluedoorfarm), Santiam Canyon Stampede (scsrodeo.com), Crystal’s
Country Jam at PPAA (cmeproductions.net), and the gender-free Every Sunday Square
Dance (facebook.com/q.sq.dance).
pqmonthly.com

PERSPECTIVES
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 19

GET OUT!
Want
the full scoop? Head over to pqmonthly.com to check
out the full calendar of events, submit your own events, and
look through photos from parties around town!
pqmonthly.com/calendar
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19
BMP/GRND: Halloween Edition is a
queer ‘90s dance party with DJs Kasio
and Rhienna. Come dressed in your best
‘90s costume! 9 p.m., Branx/Rotture, 315
SE 3rd, 21+, $5 after 10 p.m., facebook.
com/BMPGRND.
Spookalicious. DJ Aurora spins killer
tunes to raise the dead, with ghoulish
go-go dancers and a caustic costume
contest. Come out for cheap drinks and
freakish fun! 9 p.m., Crush 1412 SE Morrison,
21+, No cover.
Bring yr body-ody-odies to RUTH-
LESS, with the [heart]beats of Ill Camino
and Bruce LaBruiser. Fierce jams all night.
You like to fierce, don’t you? 10 p.m., Local
Lounge, 3536 NE MLK, 21+, $3.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20
Join the Portland Frontrunners for
their weekly Waterfront Run. Meet underneath
the Marquam Bridge on the Eastbank
Esplanade. 9 a.m., SE Main and
Water Street, portlandfrontrunners.org.
(Recurs weekly every Saturday.)
Daddies and Papas — a monthly
group for gay, bisexual, and trans men
raising young children — allows kids and
dads to socialize and have some fun. 10
a.m.-Noon, Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi,
for more information, email info@
daddiesandpapas.net.
Witching Hour, a night of goth music
and bingo, encourages you to get your
witch on and score big in Grandpa Radio’s
Haunted Bingo Parlor. Seriously. 9 p.m.,
Sloan’s, 36 N Russell St., 21+, facebook.
com/witchinghourpdx.
DJs ill Camino and Moisti bring you
Nuttz 2 Buttz, a new dance party spinning
old school booty shake and hip hop vs. 80’s
dance and electronic! Trust us, you do not
want to miss the booty shaking contest. 9
p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N Lombard,
21+, facebook.com/Nuttz2Buttz.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 21
The Portland Gay Men’s Chorus presents
its biannual Classical Matinee. The
theme of this year’s concert is Love and
Marriage, in solidarity with our neighbors
in Washington and their struggle for marriage
equality. 3 p.m., Kaul Auditorium,
Reed College, $17 and up, pdxgmc.org.
Superstar Divas Megashow. Honey
Bea Hart, Bolivia Carmichaels, and Ginger
Lee bring you diva realness every Sunday
night! 8 p.m., CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis,
21+, no cover, ccslaughterspdx.com/divas.
(Recurs weekly every Sunday).
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25
Gay & Grey 4th Thursday Social. 4
p.m., Starky’s, 2913 SE Stark.
SALT presents TEMPLE! With music
by Pocketrock-it and Kasio Smashio, and
killer photos by Pocho’s Cosas, it’s time to
party party party! 10 p.m., The Matador,
1967 W Burnside, 21+, no cover.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26 THROUGH
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28
The Rosetown Ramblers presents
Scares ‘N Squares 2012. Spend the weekend
do-si-do-ing and dance until the end
of time, with square dance callers Deborah
Carroll Jones, Charlie Robertson,
and Gary Monday! Visit rosetownramblers.com
for more information and a
full schedule of events.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26
TWERK. Portland’s newest queer hiphop
dance night turns up the bass with
DJs Slutshine and II Trill, and special
guest DJ Bruce LaBruiser! 9 p.m., Local
Lounge, 3536 NE MLK, 21+, no cover!
Apocalysp! Halloween Edition, a dirty
rock ‘n’ roll queer night for the punk rock
fag in everyone, has your host DJ Weinerslav
and special guest DJs IKNOWWHITE-
PEOPLE, DJ KO, and Bruce La Bruiser! 9
p.m., The Foggy Notion, 3416 N Lombard,
21+, $3 cover if not in costume, facebook.
com/Apocalysp.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27
QPoP! (Queer Parents of Portland),
meets to embrace community and provide
the support of other queer parents. 10 a.m.-
Noon, Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi.
55+/- is a lesbian social group made up
of mature women who just want to have
fun and network! 12:30 p.m., Q Center,
4115 N Mississippi, for more information
email nanb@peoplepc.com.
The Oregon Bears Halloween Pub
Crawl brings the scruff all over town. The
crawl begins at 8 p.m., Fox & Hounds, 217
NW 2nd, 21+, oregonbears.org.
LURE. Calling all uniformed men and
their admirers ... if your kink is wearing
a uniform or cruising men in uniform,
this is the place to be! 9 p.m., The Eagle
Portland, 835 N Lombard, 21+, no cover,
lurepdx.com.
DJ Anjali and The Incredible Kid present
Bollywood Horror X! With a costume
contest hosted by Anjali with cash and
prizes, psychedelic Bollywood Horror
visuals, and the wickedest beats from the
subcontinent, add a little spice to this
year’s Halloween and check it out! 9 p.m.,
Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 21+, $8
with a costume, $10 without a costume,
anjaliandthekid.com.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28
Manifest Men’s Wellness Community
Wanderlust Fitness Cycling Group. Explore
Portland in this fitness ride for men looking
for a moderate workout. 4:30 p.m., Meet at
Whole Foods at NE 15th and Fremont, $3-
15 non-Manifest members, manifestpdx.
org. (Recurs weekly every Sunday.)
Queer Feminist Theory Reading
Group. 4 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi,
for more information e-mail emi@
eminism.org.
Gender Free Square Dance. A caller
and live music complement this centuries-old
tradition, using gender-neutral
language for one and all. If this is your
first square dance, come early for lessons!
7 p.m., The Village Ballroom, 700
NE Dekum, $7 sliding scale, all ages, facebook.com/q.sq.dance.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 1
Paper Cowgrrls: A Crafting Circle
for Women! Plan your next project, pack
up your materials and join others using
paper as a base for art and craft. 6:30-
8:30 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi,
$5 suggested donation.
First Thursdays mean DIRT BAG
wants to punch you in the face (in the
form of a queer, indie dance pop, electro,
house, remix jams party). With DJs Bruce
LaBruiser and Ill Camino! 9 p.m., The
Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 21+, No cover!
Saturday, November 3
Slinger of soul, DJ Action Slacks brings
out the shimmy with Sugar Town! featuring
the swingingest, springingest soul
music. 9 p.m., The Spare Room, 4830 NE
42nd, 21+, $5 cover.
Maricon, a dance night for homos and
their homeys. 10 p.m., Eagle Portland, 835
N Lombard, 21+, facebook.com/maricon.saturday.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4
Bridge Club is Oregon’s T-Dance, and
the best place to check out the cuties in the
light of day. 3-9 p.m., Produce Row Cafe, 204
SE Oak, facebook.com/bridge.clubpdx.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6
Bears Coffee. 6:30 p.m., Cooper’s
Coffee, 6049 SE Stark, oregonbears.org.
The Border Riders Motorcycle Club
holds a meet-and-greet for gay men interested
in recreational motorcycle touring.
7-9 p.m., The Eagle Portland, 835 N. Lombard,
21+, borderriders.com.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9
BENT With your dance floor hero,
Resident DJ Roy G. Biv, and with special
guests (as always). 9 p.m., The Foggy
Notion, 3416 N Lombard, 21+, $5, facebook.com/bentpdx.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10
Storytime with Maria. Youth Librarian
Maria Lowe reads stories, sings songs and
engages the children of LGBTQ families
with activities for every age. 9:30-10:30
a.m., Q Center, 4115 N. Mississippi.
Hey ladies, come on OUT to L4L.PDX,
a chance for women 35 and over to dance
to a large variety of music and meet new
and interesting people. 5-9 p.m., Embers,
110 NW Broadway, 21+, $5 cover.
HRC Portland’s most anticipated
event, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,
is an event that is SO mysterious, we have
a hard time describing it. Eat and drink
with mystery dinner companions while
supporting the HRC’s efforts in the Pacific
NW. For more information, visit hrc.org/
steering-committees/portland.
MRS. is Portland’s favorite themed
(and costumed) dance night. Check out
their Facebook group for this month’s
theme, then dance it out with your everlovin
DJs Beyondadoubt, Il Camino, and
Trans Fat (with the ever popular Bloodhound
photobooth). 10 p.m., Mississippi
Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 21+, $5, facebook.com/MRS.PDX//
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14
Old Lesbians Organizing for Change.
1-3 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi,
oloc.org.
Gender Crash! is a monthly group for
youth who identify anywhere in the trans
spectrum. 4 p.m., SMYRC, 2406 NE Sandy,
smyrc.org.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 15, THROUGH
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 18
The Siren Nation Film Festival, an
entirely volunteer-run arts festival devoted
exclusively to female artists, celebrates its
sixth year, with screenings of “SHE SAID
BOOM!: The Story of Fifth Column” and
“Audre Lorde – The Berlin Years, 1984 to
1992.” Clinton St. Theater, 2522 SE Clinton,
for a full schedule of screenings visit
sirennation.org/festival-film.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 15
Of course, you really won’t want to
miss the PQ November Press Party! Get
the first look at the November/December
issue and rub elbows with Portland’s
“power gays.” 5-7 p.m., Mitchell Gold &
Bob Williams, 1106 West Burnside St.,
Portland, 21+.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 17
Portland Leather Affinity Group
Meeting. 3-5 p.m., Q Center, 4115 N Mississippi.
Why don’t you take a Gaycation? Think
hot, sweaty, queer love on the dance floor
(with resident DJs Mr. Charming and
Snowtiger). 9 p.m., Holocene, 1001 SE
Morrison, 21+, $3 cover.
The Oregon Bears present Boxers &
Balls, a fundraiser for the HIV Day Center.
9 p.m., AMF Pro 300, 21+, $12 per person,
oregonbears.org.
20 • October/November 2012
pqmonthly.com

YOUR HALLOWEEN TO-BOO LIST
We all know Halloween is Queer Christmas — sans
obligatory, awkward family gatherings — so dust off
those costumes, scour the city for new ones, borrow one
— whatever you do, GET OUT. If you’re anything like us,
planning began
after the last firework
exploded
in July. So drink
(just punch, if you
prefer), dress, and
be merry. Here’s a
smattering of our
best bets for Halloween
Saturday,
October 27:
Who knows what’s in Heklina’s pumpkin this time around?
BLOW PONY’S
“HELLA KINGS
AND HEADLESS
QUEENS”: They
had us at Heklina.
True story:
the kids who run
The Pony have
managed a coup
of sorts — they’re
bringing Heklina
(of Trannyshack
fame) from San
Francisco to celebrate
Halloween’s
big night in the Rose City, which means you can add “legendary
performance” to the list of not-miss items on the
BP agenda. As per usual, go-go dancers galore, two stories
of sweet dancing and music, and one of the most
diverse crowds in town. Heklina hasn’t been in Portland
since the end of Miss Thing — and rumor has it, if we
treat her real nice, she’ll come back for New Year’s Eve.
9pm, $5, Rotture, 315 SE Third.
WICKED AWESOME III: Party promoters should
rename this one The Queer All-Stars. DJ Freddie Says
Relax and Bent PDX (Katey Pants) are seriously bringing
it: a slew of beloved deejays, a variety of bands and
cover bands, and delectable queer performances. Take
a deep breath; are you ready for this list? Deejays Roy
G Biv, Mr. Charming, Freddie Says Relax, Bruce La
Bruiser. Hosted by Max Voltage. Bands like Bomb Ass
Pussy and Thee Zombettes — performers like Jeau
Breelove, Boys + Mixtapes, Wayne Bund, Kaj-anne
Pepper. OK, we’re running out of space. This is the
party’s third incarnation — and if past shindigs are
any indication, this one will be nothing but ridiculous
fun. “But PQ, shouldn’t all this talent in one place cost,
like, a hundred bucks?” Nope. Try eight. 8pm, $8, Plan
B, 1305 SE Eighth.
INFERNO HALLOWEEN!: This is, of course, the longest
running ladies-only Halloween bash in the city — and
this year, party-goers will have a shot at winning some
sweet cash: 50 bucks for the fiercest and the vampiest
costumes (interpret as you will). If there’s one thing
they know how to do, the ladies of Inferno know how
to dance, so Halloween Saturday should be no exception.
And the great thing about this party? You can get
started early — meaning you get one full celebration
in before you head to the next, or you’re in bed before
all the amateurs begin sauntering home. Your choice.
6pm, venue TBA, $8.
BENT: A HALLOWEEN CABARET AND DANCE PARTY:
Equity Foundation promises to spice things up by
mixing a little cabaret singing and performing before
opening up a big ole’ dance floor and hosting a costume
contest with a $500 prize. Yes, you read that right. You
can get tickets for the cabaret craziness and the dance
party, or just the dance party. VIP tickets include a
bunch of extras including food, drinks, and desserts.
6:30pm (9pm dance party), $50/$150(VIP), Leftbank
Annex, 101 N Weidler.
PORTLAND EROTIC BALL: No, this isn’t a Madonnathemed
bash. (“Erotic”? Get it?) But the thousands-strong
Erotic Ball celebrates its 13th birthday on Halloween
Saturday, and promises to bring only the very sexy, as
has become customary. Not queer-only, but more than
welcoming to the queer crowd. Drag goddess Sasha
Scarlett will serve as your hostess for the evening. 8pm,
$39/$69(VIP), Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside.
Of course, we’ll have all the latest party info for you
at PQMonthly.com. We’re magical online.
-Daniel Borgen
OLD WIVES’ TALES
Celebrating Dining Diversity
Vegans! Flexitarians! Omnivores!
1300 East Burnside Portland, OR 97214
HOURS: Sun-Thu 8am-8pm • Fri-Sat 8am-9pm
503-238-0470
OldWivesTalesRestaurant.com
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 21

Music Millennium’s Vinyl Room Grand Opening
November 1st thru 4th Buy $50 in vinyl,
get a certificate for 6 Voodoo Donuts!
Buy $100 in vinyl, get a certificate for a Voodoo Dozen!
Great deals throughout the store!
Expires November4th 2012. Not valid with any other offer.
32nd and East Burnside Street
musicmillennium.com • 503-231-8926
22 • October/November 2012
pqmonthly.com

FEATURES
BECOMING DARCELLE
Walter Cole on bullies, beatniks, bath houses, and happiness
The many faces of Walter Cole: (L to R) Linnton Grade School photo, fresh out of the military, giving one of his very first performances as Darcelle, decked out in full Imperial Sovereign Rose Court Coronation regalia,
and looking as stunning as ever today.
By Nick Mattos
PQ Monthly.
Walter Cole may be the most fascinating man in Portland.
Best known as the proprietor and titular performer
of the Darcelle XV Showplace — the longest-surviving
drag club in the United States — Cole has been a fixture
in Portland’s business and art scenes for well over half a
century. He’s a father, a war veteran, an entrepreneur, a
lover, a beatnik, a philanthropist, and a celebrity; throughout
it all, though, he’s been a happy man, and brought
happiness to countless others as well. Here, Cole tells PQ
about his painful early life in Linnton, finding inspiration
and true love in the Portland counterculture, and how he
reacts when people confuse him with the beloved character
he created.
PQ: So, Walter, what was your first memory of
Linnton?
Walter Cole: I was born in 1930, and Linnton was a town
then — now it’s just a freeway, but back then, we had everything
there: doctors, dentists, a dry goods store. My father
worked in the mills, and we lived in a company house. …
We were all poor, but nobody knew it. Every payday, I’d get
an ice cream cone, and that was my treat for the month.
PQ: What’s your earliest memory of your mother?
Cole: My mother was very ill when I was a child. She’d
take me into Portland, and every time we would stop for
Chinese food, right in this same part of town where the bar
is now. Then, she got so sick that she had to stay in bed;
she was bedridden for two years before she passed away.
I know good and well that if she lived to now, or even to
45 years ago when I started this, she’d be very proud. She
was so liberal about everything. Everything was fine —
as long as you didn’t hurt anyone or hurt yourself, everything
was fine.
PQ: What was school like for you?
Cole: I grew up as a little sissy boy. In those days, there
was no word for queer — “gay” meant happy — so I was a
sissy. I was always picked last for baseball. … I had a lot of
girlfriends, though, and I played jacks really well. … It was
quite evident to folks around that I was a sissy. You never
remember some of the teachers in school, but you always
remember the bullies.
PQ: Who was your bully?
Cole: Bobby Palmer. He lived in the house behind ours,
and there was only one street in Linnton, so I couldn’t avoid
him. It was never physical, but it was verbal, and I’d come
home crying to my aunt Lilly who raised me. She was my
father’s unmarried sister, and my angel. She kept me going
through all of this.
PQ:What was your relationship like with your father at
the time?
Cole: My father, when I was a kid, was pretty distant.
When my mother passed away, he started drinking more
— he’d come home from work, eat dinner, go to the tavern,
come home drunk. I really didn’t have a relationship with
him. When he did find out that I was gay, later on, after
I married and had children and everything, he was livid
and disowned me. However, he didn’t mind molesting me
when I was in early puberty. That didn’t make him gay. It
was horrendous for me.
PQ: So, this abuse was going on right when the bullying
started?
Cole: It was a terrible combination. When I graduated
from high school, I had a choice to go to Lincoln or Roosevelt.
All the bullies and bullshit people went to Roosevelt.
I went to Lincoln, which was urban and … very diverse. It
was a great school to go to because nobody gave a damn!
I got married [to Jeanette Rossini] right after high school
in 1951, because at those times if you had money you went
to college, and if you didn’t you got married. I was in the
closet all this time. I found “friends” every now and then,
but not so much during high school. Right after, though, I
started realizing that I’m not straight arrow! (Laughs)
PQ: Who was the first man you remember being attracted
to?
Cole: I was more attracted to the sex part, not the
person.
PQ: Where’d you meet men for that part?
Cole: We used to have the steam baths here, and that’s
where people went — there was one down here on Flanders.
PQ: What was the situation like the first time you
went?
Cole: It was kind of scary, because it’s very dark in there.
It didn’t take long to get into the swing of things, though!
… There was also one across from the Keller Auditorium,
where the fountain is now.
PQ: Which one was better?
Cole: This one [on Flanders] was the dirty one, and the
other was clean, but it didn’t matter. Only in and out! I
never hung around all day. That was when I was married,
and cheating
and lying about
who I was to
myself and to
her. Eventually,
I couldn’t
do it anymore, and I had to tell her that I was gay and that
I needed out.
PQ: What was her response?
Cole: “Go to the hospital and get cured.” That was what
they thought then. It was horrendous, really — we had two
children, and it wasn’t easy for them, or me, or her. After the
years passed, we’re all one big family now; my son works
here, he and his wife lives next door to us, and my daughter
just called me today.
PQ: What happened next?
Cole: I opened Portland’s first coffeehouse. It was called
Café Espresso, and it was downtown at 6th and Harrison. I
had the first espresso machine north of San Francisco, I’m
sure — a big gas-fired boiler, so illegal nowadays that you
probably couldn’t even plug it in! I don’t think anyone else
had espresso but me.
PQ: So, in a sense, you’re responsible for Portland’s
coffee culture, too?
Cole: Yes. I could have been Darcellebucks if I stuck
with it! (laughs) The cafe had folk music, poetry readings,
everything.
PQ: And this was in the 1950’s, so right in the beatnik
era. Were you involved in the beat scene here?
Cole: You’re lookin’ at it right here! (Laughs.) I walked
into that scene with my little briefcase and glasses, a crew
cut from the army, and fit right in with them.
PQ: What was Portland’s beat scene like?
Cole: Far out! They behaved themselves — they didn’t
smoke pot or do drugs at my place, but they were far out.
I made a lot of good friends there, and most of them are
still beatniks.
PQ: So, tell me about your partner Roxy [Neuhardt].
Cole: (Sighs.) Roxy was my first love, my first date, the
first person I wanted to be with.
PQ: Do you remember the moment you met him?
Cole: Oh yes! It was at a bar, the Dahl and Penne …
[and] he was sitting there at the bar, facing the room. I put
my hand on his knee, [introduced myself and found out
that he was a dancer], and told him I’d come to his show.
becoming darcellE page 29
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 23

DANCE
WHITE BIRD DANCE WELCOMES COMMUNITY INTO ITS FLOCK
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
When White Bird Dance
got its start with a one-off presentation
of the Paul Taylor
Dance Company 15 years ago,
no one could have predicted
the heights to which it would
soar. Its founders — then book
publisher Walter Jaffe and chef
Paul King — never intended to
put on performances, or even
to live in Portland. But both
the city and the work quickly
grew on the New Yorkers and
before long, White Bird was a
local institution.
“We’ve learned to do what
we’re doing,” Jaffe says. “It’s a
huge learning curve for all of
us. We do this as an experiment;
we didn’t know what we
were doing.”
Despite Jaffe’s lack of confidence,
the manager for the Paul Taylor Dance Company
— Jaffe was on the board at the time — entrusted him and
King with presenting the company in Portland. Neither
of the men had any experience putting on dance performances,
but they soon found they had a knack for bringing
people together.
And Portlanders wanted to come together around dance.
In conversations with Oregon Ballet Theatre’s founding
Artistic Director James Canfield and Portland Institute of
Contemporary Art founder Kristy Edmunds, the couple discovered
that Portland had an audience for contemporary
dance, but little programming after budget cuts killed an
important series at Portland State.
Following the success of that Paul Taylor performance,
King and Jaffe learned about the dance scene the city
once had and began to develop a vision for how to bring
it back.
Soon White Bird was organizing a fundraiser for Cascade
AIDS Project (King served on the board), presenting
the sold out world premier of BodyVox, appearing on the
cover of the Oregonian’s A&E section, and bringing legend
Mikhail Baryshnikov to Portland — all before 2000.
The budding organization would go on to launch White
Bird Uncaged — a forum for more experimental dance —
while presenting household names like Alvin Ailey.
Now in its 15th season, White Bird has grown into an
award-winning arts organization, and the sole dance-only
More than 160 non-professional dancers participated in White Bird’s presentation of Le Grand Continental at Pioneer Courthouse Square.
presenter west of the Rockies. Earlier this year, the Association
of Performing Arts Presenters gave King and Jaffe the
2012 William Dawson Award for Programmatic Excellence
and Sustained Achievement in Programming.
Though White Bird started with a
one-off show, it has since presented
160 companies (now averaging 12 per
year), commissioned 29 new works, and
shared these performances with more
than 350,000 audience members.
“Over the last 15 years we’ve seen
a lot of dance,” Jaffe says. And he’s not
just talking about performances presented
by White Bird. In order to bring
dance to the community, Jaffe and King
must first go out and find it.
The duo scouts dance all over the
country and the world. At any given
time, chances are good that one of them
is traveling to a dance festival, watching
and learning about as many as 30
dance companies in three days. It’s not
as glamorous as it may sound, the men
point out, but it’s not a horrible chore
for a dance fan.
“We’ve developed this amazing dance audience. We have
critics now in our audience telling us what they thought,”
White Bird founders Paul King and Walter Jaffe with their
cockatoo (aka White Bird CEO) Barney.
Jaffe says. This means that the performances need to
be fresh, with repeats kept to a minimum.
They must be doing something right, because the
audience not only returns — it’s also growing. White
Bird’s shows regularly sell out, and the organization also
brings dance to Portland Public Schools students via
multidisciplinary curricula and free performances.
It all aligns with White Bird’s goal to make dance exciting
and accessible to the community. Its greatest success
to this end may have been the recent “Le Grand Continental,”
a group line dance created by Montreal-based choreographer
Sylvian Émard and performed by 160 nonprofessional
dancers in Pioneer Courthouse Square.
“‘Le Grand Continental’ was, in a way, a culmination
of everything we’ve been striving for,” Jaffe says. “We
love bringing dance to the stages here, but the ideal is
to bring the great choreographer and have him work
with our community to create dance.”
The thousands who turned out to watch the show’s
two performances are evidence of the contemporary
dance audience White Bird has helped to build over
the past 15 years. In addition to growing audiences,
White Bird is also committed to growing choreographers
through its commissions and, soon, through an
annual financial award.
“We want to provide a support system for younger artists.
In April we will have a 15th anniversary gala event — 15
years is important,” Jaffe says. At the gala, the organization
will introduce the White Bird Dance Awards — including
one for a national/international dance
figure, as well as an “angel award” for
contributions supporting dance and
a third cash award for someone in the
region looking to create dance.
“The creation of work is essential
for future of dance,” Jaffe adds.
It’s a difficult economic climate for
the arts community – especially when
performers are traveling from so far
away. Still, Jaffe and King say that as long
as the dancers keep dancing, White Bird
will do their best to give them a stage.
“The one thing we can always count
on it that artists are always going to
create art. It’s inspiring that under the
most difficult situations, artists continue
to create art,” King says. “We’re
just lucky to be able to work together
and be part of an amazing city.”
For White Bird’s 15th season schedule, visit
whitebirddance.org.
t-girls
Continued from page
don’t know as much as them.”
Still, both Susan and Cassandra choose
to remain largely closeted. Susan says it’s a
personal thing that most people wouldn’t
understand, while Cassandra believes
there’s no point if you aren’t full-time. Amy
is out to everyone but her son and granddaughter
and coworkers.
“People in general have a harder time
understanding crossdressers,” Susan
says. “People can understand someone
who feels they were born the wrong sex
or wants to be the opposite sex, but when
it comes to someone who just wants to
live part of their life as the opposite sex,
that is harder to understand.”
Most people are familiar with drag
queens or full-time transgender women,
Susan says, even though they are far less
common than crossdressers. This is largely
because these identities are public, while
crossdressing can be a more private or
infrequent expression of gender identity.
As a result, misconceptions abound.
Common ones include that most crossdressers
are gay men, that they all want to
transition and live full-time as women, or
that they are perverted or mentally unstable.
“Most crossdressers are straight/heterosexual
— studies show between 75 percent
and 85 percent,” Susan says. “Some may
only dress occasionally; they may like to
wear just one or two items of clothing and
may wear them under their male cloths.
It actually is a small percentage that dress
fully and go out.”
Cassandra takes issue with perceptions
of instability.
“How can I run and operate three very
successful retail businesses being a sicko or
a mental case?” she says. “We have many
cross dressers that are much more secure,
much more successful, much happier,
and much more content than most of the
straight public.”
Amy says she has been well received by
the people she has come out to (including
her ex-wife), and hopes to open up to the
rest of her family soon. And yet, because
of the stereotypes, she feels she has to be
careful.
“So far everyone I have told is totally
accepting. I told my two sisters-in-law
and both of them said that they love
Amy way better,” she says. “I have several
neighbors that know [and] are just
fine with it. Although I’m still very cautious
when kids are around, as I live in
an apartment.”
Amy credits the Rose City T-Girls for
giving her the space and the courage to be
herself.
“I have been dressing off and on most
of my life, over 50 years,” she says. “I have
only been going out in public for about four
years, thanks to the Rose City group getting
me out of my shell.”
To learn more about the Rose City T-Girls,
contact Cassandra at cd_cassandra_loves_
dressing@yahoo.com.
24 • October/November 2012
pqmonthly.com

THE LADY CHRONICLES
THANKS FOR THE GAY, OCA:
AN ODE TO LON MABON
By Daniel Borgen
PQ Monthly
(Author’s note: if unfamiliar, google “Oregon
Ballot Measure 9” before reading on.)
I imagine the list of side effects from
growing up hyper-religious is long enough
to overwhelm sets of encyclopedias — major
and minor conundrums and minutiae you’re
still chatting with your therapist about well
into your 30s, depending on when exactly
you decided to professionally exorcise your
Christian demons. Anyone who says there’s
an expiration date on residual childhood
trauma — what lurks in the mind’s darkest
recesses — never met a born-again member
of the United Pentecostal Church.
I suppose it’s at least one part the big
chunks of life that went missing — the years
of culture my church shielded me from —
and one part the seething jealousy that
crawls into my throat when close friends
talk about upbringings completely void of
religion and spirituality, rife with lots of
television and secular music. But this isn’t a
column intent on Jesus-bashing or an atheist
exploration. (RIP, Hitchens.) Besides, I’d
hate to deprive my therapist of so much
bounty. This is all mere background — setup
to explain how exactly I came to shake Lon
Mabon’s hand.
The September evening in question was
a chilly affair, the kind of wet Northwest
cold that hits your skin through every layer.
Amy and I — she was my best friend then,
the one person I shared both church and
school with — drove to Salem with some
kids from our youth group. We piled into the
long, blue Buick LeSabre my grandfather
had given me, and set out for our destination:
the shabby, makeshift campaign headquarters
where Lon himself was doling out
Measure 9 materials — buttons, yard signs,
the whole gamut. Our church embraced
Measure 9, preaching its merits so fervently
that a group of affirmation-seeking kids terrified
by the prospect of hell were intent on
impressing parents and elders, proving we
meant spiritual (and political) business.
We gathered all manner of paraphernalia,
including one of Lon’s prized recruiting
tools — a video showing the depraved
homosexuals in their natural habitats: at
Pride parades, nancing around the Castro,
in leather — the video was quite thorough.
It offered “expert” testimony explaining
the dire consequences of the gay choice
and lifestyle. I watched the movie at home,
alone, late at night. I studied it. I embraced
full immersion. Their best, most passionate
pitch awakened scores of latent emotions —
and yearnings. These were my people.
A moment, please: Thank you, Lon
Mabon, for making
me gay. If not for
you, so many men
would have missed
out on so much.
The video became my new religion. It
opened my eyes to a universe I never knew
existed, and I set out to gobble up every
last bit of it. This was no easy feat — considering
I was, ostensibly, still a kid, still
confused about church and God, and still
beholden to powers that would and could
most certainly squash any hint of detour
should they detect it. So I’d bury my secret,
but still explore every nook and cranny gay
Portland offered.
I ventured to Balloons on Broadway,
a hub of No on 9 resistance. (Little did I
know, years later, the store’s owner would
become one of my dearest friends.) I’d grab
every issue of the gay newspaper I found.
(Little did I know, years later, I’d write for it.)
And, eventually, I happened upon The City
Nightclub, where I regularly exorcised my
demons — and doubts — which is another
column (book) for another day.
Thank you, Lon Mabon, for introducing
me to gay nightclubs. I’ve given them lots
of money over the years.
While the road to gay wasn’t as simple as
a few sexy turns on The City’s light-up dance
floor — though it certainly wasn’t for lack of
trying — looking back, I realize I was saved
by moments: moments where I glimpsed
people like me, queers I wanted to be, minutes
and hours when I felt true camaraderie
and community. Somehow, somewhere,
some power-that-was reached through those
thick clouds of religion and told that gay kid
everything was going to be alright.
Once, over beers, a guy I dated insisted I
regale him with stories from all those years
I spent in the United Pentecostal Church.
He wanted to hear about the speaking in
tongues, the all-night revivals, the prophecies,
the half-year I spent at Bible College.
The conversation lasted for hours — and
beers — and, at the end, he told me I had
the perfect excuse, the perfect out for any
bad behavior or personality flaw I’d exhibit
for the rest of my life. Resting with relative
ease on the other side, I said: “Well, let’s
hope it never comes to that.”
And that’s it — and what Mr. Mabon
accidentally handed me that night: hope.
The kind of hope you feel on a good first
date, when it’s all easy smiles and knowing
glances — before the relationship goes
south. The promise of progress, of movement,
of momentum, even if you feel mired
in circumstance or at some particular
moment can’t quite shake the past. There’s
always promise — sometimes we find it in
the most unlikely of places.
Daniel, still Lon’s most grateful fan, can be reached at
Daniel@PQMonthly.com.
GAY SKATE WITH PQ
Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink
Every 3rd Monday
NEXT GAY SKATE:
NOV. 19th
7pm-9pm
ADMISSION $6.00
Each month, Gay Skate will feature a local non-profit doing good work
in the community, giving them an opportunity to table and spread
the word. (If your organization is interested in being featured, please
email melanie@pqmonthly.com.
PQ’s portion of the admission proceeds will go toward the creation of
a PQ Monthly Scholarship Fund (details to be announced soon).
Guests are encouraged to bring non-perishable food or personal items
for donation to Esther’s Pantry and Martha’s Pantry (organizations
serving people with HIV/AIDS in Portland and Vancouver).
Follow us on Facebook for details
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 25
Sponsors:

DANCE
ASIA HO JACKSON
Writer, drag star, bad ass mob boss
By Erin Rook
PQ Monthly
FREE HD video & photo messaging • CLASSIFIED photo viewer
TRAVEL mode … only on GuySpy!
Eat...Drink...Come Out & Play!
www.dingosonline.com
4612 SE Hawthorne PDX • 503.233.3996
Join us on facebook - dingos portland
26 • October/November 2012
Los Angeles transplant Nghia Xuan Ai —
better known as performer Asia Ho Jackson
— often presents herself as a sultry diva.
But our cover model’s inner domestic goddess
was revealed in an interview with PQ
Monthly. We also discover the true depths
of her affinity for catsuits.
PQ Monthly: What is your name, age,
pronoun(s), and identity word(s)?
Asia Ho Jackson: My father gave me the
name Nghia Xuan Ai (Meaning of Love — yeah
I know, cheesy but poetic) and my friends call
me Asia. It became a name that’s stuck with
me through these past 10 years. I’m about four
months from hitting my return to Saturn; 28
revolutions around the Sun. I [couldn’t] care
less if you used pronouns such as he, she,
whatever. It’s the intentions behind what’s
said that’s important for me. At the moment,
I would identify myself as transgender.
PQ: What brought you to Portland?
Jackson: I grew up in Southern California
and I wanted a change in my life. I felt like I
had stunted my creativity and my spirit from
being so comfortable in my cocoon there for
so many years. I fell in love with Portland
when I visited back in 2010. I enjoyed the
sentiments of the region and I even grew to
love the weather and seasons here.
Photo by Jeffrey Horvitz, PQ Monthly
PQ: What do you do for work?
Jackson: I’m a server at an amazing Thai
restaurant in the Northeast called Sweet
Basil. If you ever get to try it, get the spicy
sweet basil dish. It’s great with tofu (unless
you don’t like tofu).
PQ: What do you do for the love of it?
Jackson: I love to curl up comfortably
with some green tea and a great book. I love
to be creative; it’s my nature.
Photo by Erin Rook, PQ Monthly
PQ: Tell me about your drag persona. Do
you think it’s like having an alter ego?
Jackson: Asia is very much an alter ego.
She was named after the continent I’m from,
my real mother’s last name, and my drag
mother’s last name (Noxeema Jackson). Asia
Ho Jackson is another medium/canvas that
allows me to be more creative. She represents
the other half (somewhat of a yin and
yang nature) that is beneath my being.
PQ: Tell me about your involvement in
Shorty Shorts. What films are you in? What
are your characters like? Have you done
anything like that before?
Jackson: I play Madam Katui (aptly
named by moi) in “Cat Scratch Fever.” It was
at Devon Chase’s and Rachael Palmer’s last
Christmas party that Eric Sellers had mentioned
to me that he wanted me to play the
mafia crime boss villain in his film … and
I was totes Asia-Gung-Ho about it! I had
always wanted to play a villain/monster. I
feel connected to those roles because they
have more depth than the hero — plus I get
to be in a skin-tight cat suit! HELLO!
PQ: What are you going to be/do for Halloween?
Jackson: I will be preparing a cauldron
at Lone Fir. I will also gather the trick-ortreaters
to make Youthful Stew. It’s my yearly
ritual for eternal youth.
PQ: Who are your muses (locally and in
general)?
Jackson: There are many local artists that
inspire me. They are so uninhibited in their
performance and art; I think it’s extremely
admirable and I strive for the same. The
muses that I’ve always adored are Michell
Ho (the first and foremost of Asia’s inspirations),
Barbra Streisand, Bjork, Daria, Kylie
Minogue, Audrey Hepburn, Michelle Yeoh,
Gong Li, and anyone that has to deal with
adversity. They’ve got balls!
pqmonthly.com

PERSPECTIVES
ID CHECK
EVERYTHING’S TERRIBLE,
EXCEPT WHEN IT ISN’T
By Leela Ginelle
PQ Monthly
Sometimes I forget I’m a transwoman. In
a way, it’s an improvement from the first 18
months of my transition, when I was acutely
self-conscious of the fact at all times.
It’s also alienating. It’s easy to forget I’m a
transwoman when there are no other transwomen
around to remind me. I have transwomen
friends, and I love them, but I can go
weeks without seeing them. I go whole days
at work, in fact, every day at work, without
seeing a trans person, and I work with a lot
of people.
When I remember I’m a transwoman
at work, I become self-conscious, perhaps
because it’s never mentioned. Because of the
nature of my job, that makes sense, but it also
leaves me wondering what others think.
I assume they’re supportive, but there’s
no real cultural dialogue about transitioning,
and so, aside from correcting pronouns now
and then, it’s just never remarked upon.
Occasionally a friend will ask a question
about my life prior to transitioning, and I’ll
start babbling like a fool, making all sorts of
connections I’d never seen before, because
I don’t really think of myself as having one
life these days. Instead, there’s the tragedy,
and the transition, and I don’t like to think
about the tragedy — meaning my life in the
wrong gender.
Unfortunately, that tragedy’s been compounded
by tragedy 2.0: starting to transition
at age 38, which makes forgetting the
first tragedy — physically, mentally, and
otherwise — seem impossible.
All of this is enveloped in the great tragedy
of having been born into a transphobic
culture, and not having heard the word
transgender until I was 23.
I usually don’t think of these things as
tragic. I just think of them as things that
make me mad, but maybe I’m feeling less
mad lately, and more tragic, or at least more
unlucky.
With perfect objectivity, I can appreciate
my transition as the chance to correct tragedy
number one, and feel at home in my
body. I can marvel at hormones that come
in pills, and laser hair removal, and employment
non-discrimination protection.
At other times, I’m not so content, and
I feel like some mutant creature, born too
late to have never heard of transitioning,
and too early to have started when I now
wish I had.
At those times, tragedies two and three
really get to me, which may be why I don’t
mind forgetting I’m a transwoman now and
then.
There are times I remember and get
excited. I feel like I’ve landed on a new island,
where there are no rules, and my friends and
I make them up as we go along. That’s the
good that goes with the bad, which is probably
how it always happens. It certainly helps
make things feel less tragic.
When I started transitioning, I only
wanted to think about the good, and it’s
all I looked for. The bad kept showing up,
though. I wanted to think about clothes,
makeup, and being a girl, and I kept hearing
about dysphoria, discrimination, and
family problems.
By now I’ve experienced all of it, but I still
find myself looking for the positive. Maybe
that’s why the unluckiness feels like a cloud
over my head, because I won’t let myself see
it in front of my face.
My nightmare when I began transitioning
was being completely shunned and
dying alone and unloved. It took awhile
for those thoughts to go away, but they have.
My fear now is that my anger at the tragedies
won’t vanish. It’s unlikely, though. I
don’t like staying angry, and writing always
seems to change things.
Writing doesn’t make transwomen show
up at my work, though, or at the grocery
store, or the mall. I’m usually the only one.
I don’t often feel like a transwoman in my
life, though; I feel like myself, which is a bit
confusing, since the “me” I am now doesn’t
seem very different, on the inside, than the
one who survived the first tragedy.
I know I’m less depressed, and less paranoid,
but I’m still impatient, quiet, and
funny — to myself, at least.
There are still ways to address tragedy
number two, which involve expensive surgeries,
voice coaching, and caring more
than I currently do about changing myself. I
don’t know why I’m angry about something
I don’t want to do things to change, except
that I can envision a life where I would have
had to do nothing at all.
I read about those lives on the internet,
and they involve loving, enlightened parents,
caring service providers, and cooperative
schools. I’m happy for the children who
get to transition that way, but I can’t help
feeling resentful ... and a little tragic.
I guess I’ll take the good with the bad.
Leela Ginelle is a journalist and playwright. Her play “Suede”
will be read at the Q Center on Nov. 17.
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pqmonthly.com

HUNTER VALENTINE AND KISS KILL SERVE A HOT TONIC
By Sunny Clark
PQ Monthly
Part Jesse James, part James Dean, outlaw
heartthrobs Hunter Valentine are at large in the
Pacific Northwest just in time to take the chill off
our newly-returned rainy season. Along with Portland’s
own Kiss Kill, they’ll bring the heat to the
Tonic Lounge Oct. 21.
Hunter Valentine’s epic 70-date tour comes just
ahead of their new album. The band promises to
treat Rose City audiences to some sweet selections
from “Collide and Conquer,” due to drop Oct. 23.
“We’re really proud of it,” says Kiyomi McClosky,
who founded the band of hard-driving, all-female
rockers with drummer Laura Petracca. “Our sound
is gritty pop-rock. This record is a different step …
everything from mid-tempo pop songs to aggressive
rock, to ballads.”
McClosky is featured as the new face of feminine
rock on the cover of the latest issue of
Curve Magazine, and makes no apologies for her
bewitching brand of machismo.
“I’ve been labeled ‘The Dictator’ at times,” she says.
“When women know what they want and stand by it, they’re
called some form of ‘bitch.’”
For fans of Showtime’s “The Real L Word,” which has
Hunter Valentine: (left to right) Veronica Sanchez, Kiyomi McCloskey, and Laura Petracca.
been following the lives and loves of McClosky, Petracca,
and bassist Veronica “Vero” Sanchez, the intimate concert
offers the added thrill of seeing primetime heartthrobs up
close and personal. McClosky shrugs off the Casanovag
image she’s acquired from appearing on the reality-based
MUSIC
series as par for the course when the audience has
but a tiny window into her world.
“People didn’t seem to understand what nonmonogamy
meant,” she says, “so they assumed I
was cheating. ... I was just dating. We have a great
time on that show.”
Like a double-dose of winter tonic, Hunter Valentine
has been perfectly paired with kick-ass Portland
rockers, Kiss Kill. Michelle Blau and Dusti Ohland,
the delicious dykes of KissKill who were recently
named among the “8 Women To Watch” by Bound
Magazine, are “thrilled and excited” to warm up
their hometown crowd for Hunter Valentine, along
with Queen Caveat and The Happening.
They promise to add to the eye and ear candy
with their own hard-rockin’ fury, showcasing
tracks from their recently-released CD, “Keychain
Pistols.” Backed by talented drummer Bam Bam
Purkapile and the well-matched back-up vocals
and guitar licks of Jeff Leopard, Kiss Kill have been
taking Pacific Northwest audiences on their thrillride
for five years — and, like the rain, won’t be
letting up any time soon.
Watch them watching you this Sunday, Oct. 21, 8 p.m.
at the Tonic Lounge (3100 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland; https://
www.facebook.com/TonicLoungePDX; $7. 21+).
lift every voice
Continued from page
of Portland, outlined some of the report’s
specific policy recommendations in the
focus areas of health, employment, and
education. Many of the suggestions hinged
on increasing cultural competency and
training community members to provide
needed services.
“There is a role for everyone in lifting up
this community,” Sawicki said.
The organizations involved hope that
report will serve as a call to action. Urban
League of Portland CEO Michael Alexander
spoke to the importance of meeting people
where they are to creating change.
“What you want to do is respect the fact
that where you were a day before you discovered
and grew is where they are at,”
Alexander said. “I think organizations, like
people, go through that same evolution …
. How do we tilt the levers that need to be
tilted in this community?”
A panel of community member spoke
to ways the report could shape their
work in the community. Retired Portland
Public Schools teacher Carolyn Leonard
echoed Alexander’s message of walking
beside people on their path to understanding.
“You can’t drag people kicking and
screaming. You have to start where they
are and entertain their questions,” said
Leonard, who is working to create a more
LGBTQ-friendly culture in the A.M.E. Zion
Church. “I say, ‘Angels have no gender, and
we’re all moving toward angels.”
Lolenzo Poe, chief equity officer for Portland
Public Schools and chair of the board for
the Urban League of Portland, emphasized
the importance of black men being allies.
“Black men have a responsibility to be
at the forefront of this. I should not be one
of the only black men in this room,” Poe
said. “Whatever hat I wear … it is a report
that saddens me, humbles me, and tells me
there is still much work to be done.”
City of Portland employee and long-time
activist Kathleen Saadat praised the report
and spoke to the fear felt by black LGBTQ
individuals.
“I’m 72 years old. I’ve known since I was
5 or 6 years old that I was not like the other
girls. … This has been a long time coming,”
Saadat said. “It makes my community infinitely
more livable, safer. … If you’re black,
you do not want to lose your community
because that is your primary protection.
You don’t want to be out there with no
clothes on and no one to protect you.”
Imarisha and Kodey Park Bambino
will present a workshop on the report
at the Basic Rights Oregon Trans Justice
Summit on Oct. 21 at Portland State University.
The full report can found online
at ulpdx.org.
becoming darcelle
Continued from page 23
He heard that from all the men, but I actually
followed through and went to the show.
We had coffee afterward, I drove him home,
he got out of the car, and I drove home.
For three months, that was our routine —
not ever messin’ around. Nothing! I figured
that I wasn’t going to be a one-night stand;
he wasn’t going to be my trick and I wasn’t
going to be his trick. And it worked — we’re
still together 45 years later.
PQ: When did you know that you loved
him?
Cole: The minute I saw him.
PQ: So, this is all before you started Darcelle?
Cole: When I met Roxy, we were both
entertainers — he was a dancer and I was
acting in local theatre. … I had a friend who
worked in a friend across the way called
Magic Garden — it’s a T&A bar now, but
then it was a lesbian club. She and another
person had a drag show once a week.
Roxy’s show closed, and we decided that we
wanted to do a show. We brought my friend
Tina Sandel in, myself, and Roxy.
PQ: And that was the very first time you
wore drag?
Cole: Yes … I just changed costumes. To
this day, it’s a costume. I don’t want to be a
woman, I don’t care to dress up and walk
around town. I don’t want to go to Nordstrom’s
and buy high heels! That’s not me
— I’m an entertainer.
PQ: I imagine that people sometimes
confuse Walter and Darcelle.
Cole: Some people think that Darcelle
would love to be a woman and go through
the whole operation. I stop them in their
tracks when they go in that direction …
because that’s not my gig. I love our transvestite
friends, they’ve been loyal to me
and we have a great time together, but
that’s not me. I’m an entertainer, and I
just dress to entertain. I went from [playing]
doctors and attorneys in book plays,
to playing Darcelle. I just changed the
costume. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just
another costume — just another role.
PQ: You’ve made such an impact here
in town. Is it odd when people point that
out to you?
Cole: How do you react when someone
calls you an institution? I just say, “Well,
people get locked up in those, don’t they!?”
(Laughs). I’m just grateful when people take
the time to say it. Total strangers come up to
me and say, “I love what you do, you’ve been
a pioneer, I’ve seen you at fundraisers …”
I love hearing it, but I just don’t know how
this happened. I didn’t plan on it, you know?
I didn’t say, “Hang on! I’m plowing through
Portland’s scene!” I sometimes don’t know
how to react, but I can’t believe my own
publicity. When you start believing your
own publicity, it won’t happen anymore.
People don’t want to see somebody that has
a big head, who’s all blown-up about themselves.
I didn’t do any of this by myself. …
Nobody does anything alone. It’s too big a
world to conquer on your own.
PQ: What would you want PQ readers
to remember?
Cole: If you’re not happy, move on.
Family, friends, work, lodging — get the
things that make you unhappy out of your
life. Life is just too short to not be happy.
I’m happy every day! Sometimes Roxy just
gets so annoyed with me because I wake
up every morning just singing, with bells
on. He’ll be like, “Stop it! You were up all
night!” — but I don’t care. I’m ready to go.
… Happiness is so important. Live your
life, and be happy. Too many people spend
too much time dwelling on the negative. I
have this thing: if I can’t change it, I’m not
even going to think about it. I can’t be bothered
with thinking about the things I can’t
change, in my life or anyone else’s. If you
can’t change it, drop it.
Cole’s memoir “Just Call Me Darcelle”
is available at the Darcelle XV Showplace
(208 NW 3rd Ave., Portland). For more
information on Cole, Darcelle, and the
showplace, visit darcellexv.com. You’ll find
more from our interview with Cole on the
PQ Monthly blog.
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NO HALO
By Nick Mattos
PQ Monthly
Somewhere on the Oregon Coast stood a
house — more of a hut, really, composed of
driftwood, felled logs, artifacts washed upon
the shore. Over the last five years, my friends
and I have built this house, each summer
lashing together logs and clearing the debris
that each winter levies upon the structure.
Now, Kathryn, Kate, Gordon and I walk into
the dunes and see that the past tense is appropriate:
the walls of the house have collapsed
completely, the roof a pile of sticks covering
the floor. The house is gone.
“Oh my god,” I gasp. I loved this space
more than any other, once wrote in my will
that my ashes were to end up here, mixed
in with the charcoal of the campfire. Now, I
look at its ruins, my friends picking through
the felled logs, stunned.
At once, a memory rushes back to me.
When I was 16, growing up in a tiny liberal
town in late-90s Northern California, I
had perhaps the ideal job for a rather pretentious
and queeny teenager: clerk at an
independent video store. The shop specialized
in foreign and queer films; I specialized
in wearing crazy costumes and mincing
about the aisles, shelving videocassettes
like a young Mister Humphries. As befitted
a thoroughly self-destructive youth, I was
also a chainsmoker; as I was both underage
and a spectacle, the managers demanded
that I hide around the corner of the building
in a parking lot on my smoke breaks.
One shift, I do just that: sit upon an overturned
five-gallon bucket with bone-skinny
legs crossed at the knee, my (no joke) white
angel wings luminous beneath the streetlight
of the almost-empty lot. I toss my cigarette
away with a limp wrist, notice someone
sitting in one of the cars but think nothing
of it as I strut back to work.
A week later, I’m working at the counter,
blasting Mazzy Star and singing along
to “Fade into You” while I check in returned
videocassettes, wearing my cheap angel
wings. In the sea of brightly-lit aisles, a
woman cries softly in the comedy section.
This is Sebastopol, California, and public
crying isn’t an uncommon sight — in this
hippie town, everyone’s heart chakra is so
stupidly open that everyone’s burst into
tears on the street at least once — so I think
nothing of it. At that moment, she looks up
at me, walks up to the counter.
“Excuse me,” she asks. “Do you smoke
cigarettes?”
“… Yes,” I say hesitantly. “Want one?”
“No,” she replies, tears running down her
cheeks. “But I need to tell you something.”
“Ten years ago, my father was very sick,
dying in the hospital. His ward in the hospital
was full of AIDS patients. Those skinny gay
boys, walking around gossiping and laughing,
were my lifeline. I bummed their cigarettes
while they rolled their IVs around outside the
hospital, and cried on their shoulders in my
father’s last days. I can’t tell you how much I
loved each of them. They saved my life.”
She wipes her eyes and goes on. “A week
ago was the 10-year anniversary of my father’s
death. I have missed him every day for 10
years, and while I was sitting in my car, getting
ready to go home, it was like a train of grief
hit me — I couldn’t breathe, I missed him so
much. I thought my heart would stop. I’m not
religious, but I didn’t know what else to do, so
I asked the universe for something, anything,
just to make the pain stop for a moment.
“It was at that moment that I looked up and
this skinny little gay boy with wings walked
around the corner, the streetlight shining on
him like a halo, and lit a cigarette. This sounds
silly, but I knew it was one of the boys from
the ward, sent back from heaven to comfort
me. I saw the angel and I cried, knowing that
my father was okay wherever he was, that I’d
be okay too, that something bigger was happening
that all of us were part of. That angel,”
she sobbed softly, “was you.”
I stood there in my wings, her eyes looking
expectantly into mine, stunned. Now, 12
years later, I stand here — still skinny, still a
chainsmoker, possessing of a bit more sartorial
sense (thank goodness) but caught with
no wings, no halo — stunned, the remains
of my work staring expectantly at me.
“Look at this!” Kate exclaims. On the topmost
of the logs, someone has scrawled
graffiti. “This is the saddest day,” Kate
reads aloud. “We loved this place. Can it
be rebuilt?” Beneath the graffiti is written
a date: one day before today. The weight of
this, of the truth that all this time we shared
the space, settles over the group.
Perhaps the world provides intricate
ways for us to be benevolent towards each
other without our intending or realizing it,
without demanding any effort on our part
past being ourselves and doing what we
love. Maybe, without even needing wings
or halos, we end up being angels for one
another, doing ordinary work that from the
outside looks like a miracle.
I break the silence — “Can it be rebuilt?”
I ask. The grey sky looms above us, the great
ocean roaring softly, nature remaining indifferent
to our effort and our drama. We look
at one another, at the place we once called
home, at the dunes and the hills and the
coastline stretching out to the horizon, as
the question and its answer hang silently in
the salty air.
Nick Mattos and his friends have not yet rebuilt the house.
Send reports of miracles to nick@pqmonthly.com
pqmonthly.com

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Portland Gay Men’s Chorus presents its biannual “Classical
Matinee” Oct. 21 at the Reed College Kaul Auditorium
on the theme of “Love and Marriage.” The performance will
feature music by classical masters offered by the Chorus,
chamber ensemble, and instrumental and vocal soloists
in solidarity with the fight for marriage equality in Washington.
Among the concerts highlights will be the debut of
newly formed wind quintet, The Q. For more information
and tickets, visit pdxgmc.org.
Bradley Angle holds its sixth annual Women of Wonder
Day event at Excalibur Comics on Oct. 21. The free all-ages
event includes a silent auction of original art and collectible
items from television, film, and music as well as other
comic-themed activities. Proceeds from the event support
survivors of domestic violence. Bradley Angle is the only
domestic violence agency in Oregon with LGBTQ-specific
programming and services. Learn more at bradleyangle.
org and womenofwonderday.com.
Former Portland Pride headliner Hunter Valentine is
returning to town for a show at Tonic Lounge Oct. 21 featuring
Queen Caveat, Kiss Kill, and The Happening. The
21+ show is $7 in advance and $10 at the door. Check out
the band at huntervalentine.com.
Oregon LGBT chorus Confluence is collaborating with
Salem’s Pentacle Theatre to present on Oct. 23 “The Laramie
Project, the highly-acclaimed play about Matthew
Shepard, the gay University of Wyoming student whose
torture and murder in 1998 sparked increased awareness
of hate crimes against LGBTQ people. For more information
and tickets, visit pentacletheatre.org.
The Portland Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence - The
Order of Benevolent Bliss are seeking submissions of photography
and visual art on the theme of “Femme, Butch,
Queer & Trans Intersection” for a Transgender Day of
Awareness art show at Q Center. The deadline for submissions
in Oct. 25; the art show will take place Nov. 20. The
show will raise funds for Q Center and the Order of Benevolent
Bliss’ working and grants funds via a silent auction.
Artists not interested in selling their work are still welcome
to show it. Send an image of the art, plus a biography, title,
and description to ivalitta.truth.forjou@gmail.com.
Q Center is also seeking submissions from LGBTQ and
allied musicians for a compilation CD to raise funds for
Q Center and SMYRC. So far, organizer Logan Lynn has
received submissions from Scream Club, Peaches, Nicky
Click, Jeremy Gloff, Shunda K of Yo Majesty, Atole, Holcombe
Waller, TAHOE JACKSON, Towering Trees, Matt
Alber, Tom Goss, Mattachine Social, Bobby Jo Valentine,
and others. Send submissions and questions to logan@
pdxqcenter.org.
Inspired by the feature on country queers? Check out
gender-free square dances Oct. 28 at 7 p.m. at the Village
Ballroom. As part of the Every Sunday Square Dance
series, fourth Sundays fall through spring are gender-free.
No experience is necessary as all dances are taught before
they begin. Live music and an experienced caller bring this
centuries-old tradition to life. Dances are $7 at the door and
all ages. Learn more at bubbaguitar.com/sundaysquares.
The 2012 Q Center Concert Series presents “Crescendo:
An Evening of Classical Ensembles and Solos,” at 7 p.m. Nov.
3, featuring performances by Doug Shick, Glenn Goodfellow,
Maggie Hanson, Juliana Trivers, and Queertet. Tickets
are $8 in advance and $10 at the door, but no one will
be turned away for lack of funds. Tickets are available at
qcenter.ejoinme.org.
Portland will be representing at Palm Springs Pride
for Qulture Qreative’s fourth annual COMPOUND festival,
which aims to provide an inclusive alternative to “Gay
Pride.” Local DJs Mr. Charming (Gaycation) and Roy G. Biv
(Bent) will be spinning at the HARD TIMES party Nov. 2 and
Chelsea Star will be making an appearance at the “Daytime
Realness” party on Nov. 6. If you’re heading south for
November, show some love to our local favorites. For more
info, visit facebook.com/qultureqreativesea.
ARTS BRIEFS
The Annual Siren Nation Festival kicks of Nov.8 and
spans two weekends. The first weekend features six concerts
(including JD Samson and MEN), a fine art show
with work from more than 40 local artists, an arts and
craft sale, and free workshops. The second weekend will
contain the Siren Nation Film Festival. Featured films
include “Code of the West,” “Wonder Women!: The Untold
Story of American Superheroines” (including interviews
with Lynda Carter, Lindsay Wagner, Gloria Steinem, and
Kathleen Hanna), “Mosquita y Mari,” “She Said Boom:
The Story of the Fifth Column” (including interviews
with Kathleen Hanna, Vaginal Davis, Caroline Azar, Beverly
Breckenridge, GB Jones and Bruce La Bruce), “Audre
Lorde: The Berlin Years, 1984-1992,” and more. Many
events are free. For full details and ticket pricing, visit
sirennation.org.
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34 • October/November 2012
pqmonthly.com

THE GOOD LIFE
Cultivating Life
By LeAnn Locher
PQ Monthly
It’s easy to feel
the swirl of politics
as beyond
ourselves, “put
there” beyond
our reach of personal
impact or
action. With so
much money being spent on simply getting
elected versus fixing our country, I understand
the question, “Can I really make a difference?”
But so much of politics are personal,
especially for those of us who hear our
love lives being debated on political stages,
and our very worth of equality discussed as
political platforms. For me, politics are personal,
and no matter what
my own apathy might be, I
will always, definitely, turn
up to vote.
Just as politics are personal,
personal choices
can also be political, especially
when it comes to
food. Food politics have
been a rising conversation
over the decade, with questions
of food safety and regulation,
and the growth of
movements like slow food,
“locavores,” and attention
towards “food deserts.”
There is a mindfulness to
participating in food politics and a waking
up to understanding and knowing where
your packaged, processed food comes from
and on whose back it gets to you. What was
the quality of life of the cow that makes up
your burger? Or the reality that your burger
is most likely made of thousands of cows all
mixed up together? What’s the environmental
impact of the apple you’re eating flown
here from New Zealand? (And why on earth
are we as Oregonians eating New Zealand
apples when the Northwest produces gorgeous
crops of them?) How is it that there
are epidemic proportions of asthma among
the children of the workers who picked your
produce? Once you start to scratch the surface,
it is never ending and can easily feel
overwhelming.
I recently heard NYC chef and author
Gabrielle Hamilton speak at Feast PDX,
Portland’s national food festival (my favorite
part were the talks, by the way). Hamilton
suggests we’re going overboard in our
food politics.
“Sometimes I think, ‘poor little food.’ I
THE PERSONAL POLITICS
OF FOOD
mean just think about what’s being asked
of food these days,” Hamilton says. “Food
is going to save the planet, we’re going to
cure obesity, we’re going to save the dysfunctional
family because if you just eat
a meal together at the dining room table
every day all your fucked up family problems
will go away, it will create memories.
And I think, ‘the poor madeleine.’ The little
fucking madeleine carries so much freight
these days.”
But at the other end of that spectrum is
to live blindly and without thought to how
our actions impact the world. I liken it to the
ridiculousness of the statement, “I’m not
voting.” Truth is, you vote every day with the
actions you take. When you opt to buy your
produce at the local farmer’s stand, you vote
to keep your dollars close to home and to
support your local economy. You most likely
are also voting for less
environmental impact
on the world, without
the need to transport
goods long distances,
and without massive
degradation against
the land for major food
production. When you
opt to cook more from
scratch and less from
processed and packaged
food products,
you vote to value your
own health and the
health of those you’re
cooking for.
Even growing your own food is a political
statement, let alone growing food in your
front yard and (gasp!) tearing up the lawn.
But hanging a rainbow flag and building
raised beds in the front of our house is one
of the first things we did when we moved
into our house 12 years ago. At that time,
our neighborhood of grass lawns were the
standard and lots of folks slowed down or
stopped by to see what “the ladies” were up
to. Gardening in our front yard has brought
us closer to our neighbors, and political talk
during election season has even been a part
of the front yard scene, as well as sharing
advice on growing good greens.
I don’t get the concept of politics not
being personal. They’re infused in every bit
of my life, including the work I do, where I
invest my money, and even the food I put
in my mouth. And yes, at the ballot box. I
plan to vote this November, no question
about that, but I also vote for a better environment,
a local economy, and fair worker’s
rights when I vote with my food dollars.
Why wouldn’t I?
Apples as beautiful these are produced within a few miles
of your backyard — so why buy them from New Zealand?
LeAnn Locher is an OSU Extension Master Gardener.
You can connect with her at facebook.com/sassygardener.
EAT, DRINK, AND, BE MARY
Dr. Daniels & Mr. Beer
By Brock Daniels
PQ Monthly
The sun sets earlier
over the horizon
and large cauldrons of
harvest serum boil as
steam tentacles its way into the black night
air. Full bodied, dark, and herbal — local
brews of the fall are some of the best of the
year. Specially blended recipes of malt and
hops are infused with the bounties of the
season. Fresh pumpkin and spices add a special
zip and warmth to these local beers.
Made with 30 pounds of hand-roasted
pie pumpkins, Amnesia Brewing’s Headless
Horseman Olde Pumpkin Ale is a great
blend of spices, various malts, and a myriad
of hops, making for a unique complexity.
The Horseman rides!
In the spirit of the season, Laurelwood
Brewing crafted an amber-colored brew
with roasted whole pumpkin, toasted
pumpkin seeds, and organic pumpkin
puree. A touch of spice creates a subtle and
delicious beer, sure to chase away the evil
spirits. Medium-hopped, the Stingy Jack
Pumpkin Ale is smooth — almost creamy
— and the toasted pumpkin seeds add a
unique nose as well as flavor that sets this
beer apart from others.
My Big Fat Greek Baklava
Ingredients:
½ cup pistachios
½ cup walnuts
½ cup almonds
1 lemon
¼ cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon vanilla
15 filo cup shells
¼ cup water
¼ cup honey
Fun, real, willing to be “monkeys on display
through the brewery windows, and
willing to put on a show for anyone that
stops by to peer/leer/stare in,” Ian McGuinness
and Natalia Laird make some of the
best micro brews in Portland at Natian
Brewery. Their Pu-Pu-Pu-Pumpkin Ale is
brewed and then aged for a full year! This
ale is like drinking pumpkin pie in a pint
glass. And it is definitely worth that one year
wait. This is the must-have pumpkin brew
of the season! For a list of local brew pubs
serving this incredible treat, go to www.natianbrewery.com.
Pumpkin beer tasting was a fun jaunt
across the city, but I soon found
that with the alcohol content of
each pint being between 7-9 percent,
I started transforming from
Dr. Daniels into Mr. Beer … in a
good way of course. These incredible
hand-crafted masterpieces
are worth every sip, and worth
the wait it takes to produce them.
Experiment, explore, and have
fun turning into your alter ego!
Photo by Hilary Pollack
Amnesia Brewing
832 N Beech St, Portland
Laurelwood Brewing
NE Portland, 5115 NE Sandy Blvd
SE Portland, 6716 SE Milwaukie Ave
Battle Ground, Wash., 1401 SE
Rasmussen Blvd
Natian Brewery
Corner of NE Stark & Couch, Portland
Everyone needs a little nibble as they
drink down their autumn brews. Try my
Baklava recipe; it is extremely easy. The
nuttiness and sweet spice pairs perfectly
with pumpkin beer, and these little bitesize
morsels will be a hit at any of your fall
festivities!
Directions:
Place your nuts on a cookie sheet, and
roast in the oven on 350ºF for about 8 minutes
to toast and release the oils. Cool, and
add to a food processor with the zest of
1 lemon, ½ the brown sugar, butter, cinnamon,
salt, and vanilla. Pulse until well
blended and a course mealy texture is
achieved. Fill each little filo cup with the
nut mixture and bake at 350º for about 10
minutes. While those are baking, boil the
water, honey, and other half of the brown
sugar together and allow it to reduce to thick
syrup. When the cups come out of the oven,
spoon about 1 teaspoon of syrup over the
hot cups, and let absorb in. Enjoy!
Brock Daniels, a Pacific Northwest native, has studied wine, culinary arts, gastronomy,
and loves researching new food. Brock has written a self-published cookbook titled “Our
Year in the Kitchen.” Reach him at brock@pqmonthly.com.
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 35

Business Directory
PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at 503.228.3139
www.pqmonthly.com
ARCHITECTS
HOME SERVICES
MASSAGE THERAPY
Architectural Design
– Residential and Commercial Projects –
New Construction, Additions, Renovations, Accessory Dwelling Units
DDP Architecture, LLC
D. Dustin Posner, Architect, AIA, CSI
p: 971.279.3760 e: dustin@pdxarchitect.com www.pdxarchitect.com
ATTORNEYS
503.775.4755
Redden & Findling llp
A T T O R N E Y S A T L A W
Real Estate, Tax,
Business, Surrogacy,
Adoption, Wills,
Divorce, Domestic
Partnerships
2720 NE 33rd Avenue
Portland, OR 97212
Phone: 503-288-3133
Fax: 503-284-7315
reception@reddenfindling.com
www.reddenfindling.com
INSURANCE
Chris Gojkovich
LIC # 10209
COUNSELING
Licensed Massage Therapist
503.789.3310 OR Lic. 12790
GLBTCOUNSELING.COM
Sexual Minority Provider Alliance Directory
Find your therapist through Portland’s most
detailed GLBT online counseling directory
Robert Ellestad, LMT
(503) 208-4244
Book online
www.ShiatsuRobert.com
#14560
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THERAPY
Individuals & Couples
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HOME SERVICES
Serving Portland for over 11 years!
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Licensed &
Insured
Remodeling, LLC
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LIFE COACHING
James (503) 481-1037
Tommy Faricy
Co-Active Life Coach / Executive Coaching
Transform your Life!
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(503) 477-7621
Tommy@SCACoaching.com • www.SCACoaching.com
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experience does matter.
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Shawn Baeschlin, Sr. Loan Officer
t. 503-528-9800
www.nwmortgagegroup.com
sbaeschlin@nwmortgagegroup.com
WA Lic. WA 510-LO-34039 | Individual NMLS# 112876 | Corp. NMLS# 40562 | OR ML-797 | Branch NMLS# 50223
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MORTGAGE
REAL ESTATE
NATUROPATHIC PHYSICIANS
REAL ESTATE
Formerly Century 21 Peninsula Realty
(503) 286.5826
Richard Voss, Principal Broker/Owner
richard.voss@windermere.com
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in PQ Monthly at
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UPDATES, BLOGS,
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AND MORE!
“It all starts with a
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Where do you start?
With a cup of coffee perhaps...
HAD A CAR ACCIDENT?
WE CAN HELP.
Did you know that your car insurance’s. Personal Injury
Protection coverage (PIP) will cover treatment for your injuries?
Are you experiencing any of the following?
•Whip Lash or
neck pain
• Difficulty turning
your head in any
direction?
• Headaches that
won’t go away
• Tender to the
touch in specific
areas
You don’t have to live with pain!
• Difficulty Walking
• Feeling confused
• Anxiety
• Forgetfulness
• Low back pain
We will work with your insurance company.
Insurance rules limit the amount of time before you can file a claim. For best results — come
in for treatment after your car accident as soon as possible. Call for an appointment today.
Dr. Kimberly DeAlto
Chiropractic
Physician Chirocentric
503-430-7371
12620 SW 3rd St..,
Beaverton, OR 97005
info@chirocentric.net
www.chirocentric.net
PQ Monthly’s
An auto accident can tear and stretch
ligaments and muscles that support the
spine; weakening structural integrity of
the spinal column. Untreated, it may lead
to Osteoarthritis of and/or Degenerative
Disc Disease years afterward. My 15 years
experience with these injuries will help you.
eDIRECTORY
Our directory of LGBTQ-friendly
businesses and organizations is
constantly evolving. Visit it often!
Laurie Gilmer
Willamette Realty Group
7407 N Westanna
$219,900
3 bedrooms, 2.1 bath
mls: 12374009
For info call: 503.347.3565
www.lauriegilmer.com
Donald Falk
PRINCIPAL BROKER, GRI, CRS, ABR
18 Years Experience
Licensed in Oregon & Washington
falkd@hasson.com
pdxrealty.com
503.314.8307
MONTHLY
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pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 37

THE FUN STUFF
QUERY A
QUEER
Question:
How does someone know if they are gay or
trans? Some people say they were “born that
way,” but I also know people who came out later
in life after being in straight marriages. I accept
people regardless; I just don’t get it.
Answer:
I imagine there are as many answers to this question
as there are LGBTQ people, which is probably why you’ve
encountered individuals with such divergent coming out
experiences. Of course, this sort of response doesn’t really
help you in your quest to understand.
Let me put it this way: How does anyone know who they
are? Identity is multifaceted, sometimes complex, and often
dynamic. Some aspects of a person’s identity are clear from
a young age and remain constant through life. Others are
discovered only after years of questioning, searching, and
experimenting. And, sometimes, they change.
Now, you don’t often hear LGBTQ people describing
sexual and gender identity as something mutable because
that’s a message that is easily misunderstood and twisted
by people who would prefer we didn’t exist. It’s also sometimes
easier to think of identity as simple and static. Contemplating
the complexities of life can be a real headache.
(Trust me — I’m a chronic case.)
Whatever the reason, the reality is that
identity (particularly of the sexual and/or
gender variety) is not always as simple as
“born this way” or “trapped in the wrong
body.” But acknowledging that identity
sometimes changes (“shifts” or “evolves”
might be more accurate) is not the same
as saying it can be changed.
It is tempting to say that those who
come out later in life are emerging from a period of repression
(aka “living a lie”) to embrace their true self. Sometimes,
that’s true. Some folks are aware of their queerness
from a young age, but unable or unwilling to express
it openly. Others may not get the memo until later, but
experience it as an aha moment that explains their life
until that point.
But even these variations on the theme of “I’ve always
been XYZ” don’t ring true for everyone. To suggest that this
is a universal narrative renders invisible those who have
experienced a shift from one firmly felt identity to another,
who may consider their previous identities just as true as
their current one.
And just to complicate things further, some folks embody
more than one narrative at a time. A lesbian/gay/bisexual
person may feel they’ve always experienced same-sex
attraction, but still find that their sexual identity is fluid
and constantly evolving. A trans/genderqueer person may
have felt a disconnect between their body and their gender
identity since a young age and still, even after transitioning,
look back fondly on the time they spent living as the
gender they were assigned at birth.
Though we may now be standing together as members
of the LGBTQ community, we all reached this point
via our own unique path. There are countless ways in
which people come to realize they are LGBTQ. I asked
a few of my friends about their experiences, and some
common themes emerged despite the diversity. Whether
a person comes to their identities through structured
experimentation and list making, trial and error, or
hard-to-describe gut checks, we know who we are when
it feels right. Or, at least, more right than who we were
trying to be before.
It’s sort of like in romantic or friend relationships when
you realize that person is the real deal, a “soul mate” of
sorts. It may happen instantaneously or over time, but
eventually you feel like you’ve known them forever, and
wonder how life might have been different if you’d met
them sooner. Most people have more than one relationship
like this in their lives. It doesn’t mean that past relationships
were inauthentic; they just ceased to serve
them.
Identity is like a relationship with yourself. Some folks
are lucky enough to meet their true selves early in life.
Others don’t make that connection until later, after going
through some failed relationships with themselves. And
sometimes, you have a few good years with a version of
yourself only to discover that you need something different
out of that relationship.
No matter how we come to understand our identities,
what matters is that we strive to be honest and loving with
ourselves and others. If we do that, everything else should
fall into place. The path we take through life and the meaning
we assign our journey is just one more thing that makes
us human. If you ask me, it also makes us pretty damn
interesting.
I like big questions and I cannot lie. Especially the one we
keep close to our chests for fear of judgment or embarrassment.
Your closeted curiosities are safe with me. Send your queries on
all things queer to erin@pqmonthly.com.
Obama v. Romney
Mad libs (or cons)
We’ve got some blanks that are aching to be filled. Before our next edition hits the streets, the presidential election will have come and gone, so help us report
on the results in the interim by sharing your response on the outcome. Scan or take a picture of your work of snark — or savvy political observation — and email it
to info@pqmonthly.com. We just might share it with your fellow readers. But if you only have the time and energy to fill out and submit one thing in the next couple
of weeks, please make it your ballot. (And don’t send that to us. We’re big fans of well-hung Chads, but we’d rather not be responsible for uncounted ballots.)
Oh my __________ ___________, I was so __________ that ____________ won the election that I immediately _____________.
This means four ___________ years of _______________ — and will have ______________ implications for our ____________. I’m
convinced the _____________ voters must have had their _____________ in their _____________ when they checked the box next
to______________’s name. I am going to ___________ for the next four years, even if it ______________ me. As a _____________,
same candidate
adjective
noun/deity
emotion
this makes me ____________ for my ____________.
candidate’s name
adjective noun adjective noun
adjective noun noun
emotion
noun
verb
past tense verb
identifying noun
Mr. President, I wish you ________________, you ____________________. May you ________________ and _____________.
noun term of endearment or insult verb verb
verb
Submitted by ___________________ (optional)
38 • October/November 2012
pqmonthly.com

THE FUN STUFF
ASTROSCOPES WITH MISS RENEE End Up Tales
ARIES:
Fighting the urge to
put your belongings
into storage, unthaw
the credit card, spin the
globe, and point? How about rather
than undoing the progress you’ve
made over the last couple of years,
you expand the world of your mind
instead? Spin the globe and correlate it
to workshops, cooking classes, dance
lessons, etc. ¡Olé!
TAURUS:
Full moon in Taurus
Oct. 29 asks: “What/who
do you value? Is it still
applicable to who you
CURRENTLY are?” Change
doesn’t come easily for Bulls, but freeing
up stagnant outgrown spaces will allow
room for better and healthier. “Emancipate
yourselves from mental slavery;
none but ourselves can free our minds.”
~Bob Marley #PuffAndPass
GEMINI:
Planetary aspects over
the next month make you
feel you’re 10-feet tall, 3-
feet wide, the baddest mofo
in the bar. Honey, you may wanna
rethink that. Things go much more
smoothly if you curb tendencies to
double book, promise more than you
can deliver, and assume someone else
will “get that for ya.”
Miss Renee aka Tarot Chick is an empath, tarot card reader, and spiritual astrologer
of 19 years based out of NE Portland. She loves love notes so feel free to holla
or schedule a tarot / astrology chart session: that_tarot_chick@yahoo.com.
LEO:
Leos = Life of the Party.
Duh! But the party can’t be
every single day or it loses
something, mais non?
Sharpen some #2s and break out the
notebook, Qween/King. Planetary
aspects are asking you to get your
school on. Get deep, take a philosophy
course. Learn a new language. Brain
protein. Stretch yourself. Grow.
VIRGO:
V e n u s ( l o v e /
beauty/art) has been
sharpening her game
under Virgo’s exacting
gaze. Let her inspire
you: Get your “hurr did” and adopt a
smart new do. Yep, buy those hot fall
boots. In clothing; sometimes tighter
IS better. Stop hiding, we wanna see
what you’re workin’ with! Relax, Venus
has us lovin’ you.
LIBRA:
Libra, here’s a newsflash,
darlin’: YOU
MATTER, TOO! Several
planetary aspects
(New Moon in Libra Oct. 15, Venus
entering Libra Oct. 28, and Full Moon
in sister sign Taurus Oct. 29 ) hopefully
help you see that sometimes the only
thing you end up getting out of bending
over backwards for everyone is exposed
private bits. #LispTheWordsSelfCare
SCORPIO:
Oct. 5 Saturn (structure/discipline/karmic
lessons) strode purposefully
into Scorpio
for a 2½ year stay. Prepare to work, take
ownership of your own happiness, and
become impeccable with your words/
deeds. Your brilliance will shine through
especially in areas of career, getting paid
for your talents, and manifesting longed
for stability. Rise, Phoenix.
CAPRICORN:
Your ruler Saturn entered
the depths in Scorpio,
Oct. 5, for a 2½-year stay.
These could sincerely be the years you
remember flinging open your arms,
taking several leaps of faith and soaring.
Grind bullsh*t dogmatic fears into
dust then plant and grow love flowers
there. Theme song: “Chains of Love”
–Erasure
AQUARIUS:
I was told that in
fall gardeners prepare
the soil for spring by
composting organic material, tilling,
checking pH, etc. Prepare yourself for
upcoming spring by utilizing decaying
matter (Sun entering Scorpio Oct. 22),
preserving the richness of your soil
and envisioning that what you value
will grow (Full Moon in Taurus Oct.
29). Delicious!
PISCES:
Your highly psychic
ruler Neptune has been
retrograde since June
4. It resumes following
normal forward motion starting
Nov. 11. Please ponder the likelihood
that over the past five months you’ve
fared your best when you’ve gotten
out of your head and trusted your gut.
Remember/incorporate this neat trick
come November. #IntuitionMission
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Wednesdays for your chance to win
HUMP DAY FREE RIDE!
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WHERE HOME ISN’T
By Anonymous
Where am I? In your bed, I discover, my eyes opening
to Saturday morning, all bleary from the previous
night’s partying. It only takes a moment before the scene
becomes clear: you lie beside me, face buried in your
pillow, ass-up in your underwear. You are my ex-boyfriend
and we are in your bed — that same bed I spent
four years in. My eyes open wide, I stare at the ceiling,
thankful for the good sign that we’re both still at least
partially clothed, and the thoughts come.
Maybe home isn’t a place, or a person — it’s something
we carry around inside us, something that radiates
out and fills the space we occupy. I lay here, in your
bed, the morning falling over the duvet cover with our
sleepy bodies beneath it, and the truth hits me with the
primitive force of visceral knowing: my home isn’t with
you anymore.
I slide out from beneath the covers, try not to wake
you, quietly pull my pants back on over my American
Apparel briefs.
How do we know when we’re over someone? Perhaps
the heart stops racing at the mention of them, the
Facebook comments they leave on our friends’ pages
stop making our hearts catch in our throats, the sound
of an incoming text doesn’t evoke hope that it’s a dispatch
from them. Maybe, though, it’s more than that —
the mind finally getting strong enough, making its voice
loud enough to be heard over the heart, the truth more
urgent and resonant than the lies the body tells.
One by one, my fingers push the buttons of my shirt
through their holes, each one reaffirming the essential
truth that your bed isn’t home any more, your body no
longer a haven, that somewhere in the process of leaving
you I withdrew myself from the space around you
and became myself again.
You stir, open your eyes to me tying my shoes. “Good
morning,” you say sleepily. “Where are you going?”
“Thanks for letting me crash here last night,” I say,
smiling at the truth that our history is over, the thrill of
my own liberation — “but I’m going home.”
Have a dating situation gone awry? A love-like issue you need
to rant about? Send it to us: enduptales@pqmonthly.com. We
promise we’ll keep it anonymous — if you do too.
PQ PRESS PARTY!
CANCER:
Sun and Saturn transiting
through fellow
water sign Scorpio, coupled
with other planetary
aspects in early November may have
you thinking about how you support
and are supported when it comes to
manifesting stability for yourself and
your loved ones. The Universe may ask
you to disentangle yourself and shift
your focus. New mantra: D.I.Y.
SAGITTARIUS:
Vroom vroom! Get-erdone
Mars enters Sagg,
giving extra get up and
go! But, honey, where
are you aimin’ that thing? Planetary
aspects opposing and trining you
require focused intent to best take
advantage of this burst of energy and
inspiration. My advice? Work to free
yourself wherever you’ve gotten boxed
in. Disentangle does not mean yank.
+
MONTHLY
5 PM-7 PM JOIN US!
• Oct. 18, 2012 FUNHOUSE LOUNGE
PQ wants to hear from you! Send your letters to the editor, suggestions, and story ideas to
info@pqmonthly.com. 503.228.3139 • www.pqmonthly.com
pqmonthly.com October/November 2012 • 39

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