Writing from Life Symbolism and Motif in Your Writing



Mid-Autumn 2015

advice I decided to opt to look for a web hosting service.

So I got an account with one of the best/cheapest

hosting companies – one.com – where your first year is

free. Then I simply uploaded a Wordpress template with

a simple push of a button (provided on the one.com

page). Wanting to jazz things up a bit I decided to get a

paid-for template, which these days are way gnomecheap.

One of the best sites to look at for Wordpress

themed templates is theme-forest, where you can get

one from as little as a few dollars. My choice was the

hugely popular and mega-versatile Avada theme (which

cost me a whopping $59, and I’ve used it for three

webpages so far). There you go, you are ready to program!

In the past it would cost hundreds of $£ to get a

website, now you can get one set-up for free, or get a

professional hosting site for a few dollars...the only

thing is, who’s gonna create your pretty-looking website

using the versatile and cool-looking template? I was

lucky – I have a good friend who did my webpage for me

as a favour (I sent her some gnome pies in the snail

mail). And in a week the result was Hey Presto -

www.mundusgrundy.com. But wait – all is not gnomelost!

You don’t need to over-pay a fat-cat company to

do the design; you just need a freelance dude on the

end of the internet, and there are sites for these people

too. You can visit a website where freelance programmers

hire out their services; one example is freelancermap.

They give great hourly rates and virtually all of

them know the popular Wordpress themes. So you send

them your content, describe how you wish your site to

look, and they get to work. After several hours of toing

and froing you finally (hopefully) get the webpage you

had in your mind’s eye. Of course, you need to provide

the content, which means writing your own blurb/text

and finding your own images. There are plenty of photostock

sites on the web which offer decent rates (I used


But was that enough for my gnomie-buddies?

Goblin-snot was it! They demanded more – they wanted

their own video feature! This meant I needed to do an

audio reading of their cheeky exploits. I decided to

gnome-treat myself so I splashed out on an anti-goblin

cool USB microphone, called a Yeti Blue – although any

half-decent microphone will be fine. Then I downloaded

a free audio recording software, which is one of the easiest

and least complicated to use, called Audacity. Then

you just open the recording software and mumble into

your microphone (I should add at this point that you

need to put all your phones and gadgets on ‘silent’

mode). Also, I shut my boys in a room of the house so as

not to disturb this delicate moment. i Then once I had a

suitable recording I exported it first onto my desktop

and then into my Windows Movie Maker program

(which comes as standard with all Window OS machines).

I then decided to have my own Mundus Grundy

theme tune, which I bought from a royalty-free website

full of fun and cool tunes/sound effects called Audio

Jungle (I paid $9 for my jingle). I then added the audio

voice recording, music jingle, and the images together

on the computer. If you have an Apple Mac, then you

are better off as these have some good quality installed

software for movie making. You don’t need to be a techwiz,

gnome-geek, or goblin-nerd, to create a prettydecent

image-audio video files. ii Then when you’re 80

per cent satisfied (because you’re never going to be 100

per cent satisfied, as all writers are pseudoperfectionists

– except me, of course), then you upload

to Youtube. And here’s one I prepared earlier – my

Mundus Grundy Youtube Playlist.

Once all this is done, you crack open a bottle of Babycham

or Eggnog (sugar-free), and feel smug about your

work. After this all-too brief period of complacency you

need to set to work to invade all your social media

platforms with news about your book, its website, and

the cool new video(s). You splatter your paid-for stock

images over Facebook, and pester your buddies ceaselessly.

The marketing ball then starts to roll, and you

pump out blogs, cheesy citations/extracts, and maybe

even a song or two…who knows?

And that, more or less (and more of the less), is how

I got gnomed in public...the rest, as they say, is goblinhistory!

For a list of Kingsley’s websites, please visit:

Homepage: http://www.kingsleydennis.com/

Beautiful Traitor Books: http://www.beautifultraitorbooks.com/

The Phoenix Generation: http://www.phoenix-generation.com/

i. Before anyone calls the social services, my boys are four-legged mixed-breed layabouts.

ii. For my Mundus Grundy videos, I worked with my friend’s Apple Mac, which had a better movie software installed.


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