Bridging the Gap

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To Be or Not To Be Ophelia For all of my St. Mary’s girls and the women in their lives. By Shari Ray Each October I open up the dog-eared, smudgy pages of my copy of Hamlet to once again teach a new batch of budding girl-scholars this magnificent story – a tragedy of such epic depths that many call this the greatest of all plays and Shakespeare the greatest of all playwrights. Of all the deaths that inevitably come at the conclusion of a great tragedy, it is Ophelia’s stays with me after the book is stored away for another year. Ophelia’s death lingers with my girl-scholars as well; it is her sad story that finds its way into college essays and Senior speeches, and it is for her we weep. Alas, poor Ophelia. She drowns herself. She is found floating in the brook, arms full of wildflowers. But why? That is always the question. The answer is this: There is simply so much Ophelia lacks. Ophelia lacks support. Poor Ophelia has no women in her life. No women with whom to bounce ideas around, no mother to ask her important questions, no laughter and secrets with female friends for Ophelia, tucked away in her lonely Danish castle on the hillside. She is completely alone. Ophelia lacks knowledge. No books instruct her -- women were illiterate. No older women passing down stories laced with humor and wisdom at the washing tub or the cooking table. No mother. Everyone demanding of her, everyone pushing. While poor Ophelia sits alone in her closet with only her sewing to keep her company. Ophelia does not find her voice for she lacks opportunities to find it. Poor Ophelia never asks questions — no one has ever given her permission or opportunity to do so. She is constantly instructed and lectured by father, her brother, and even her boyfriend Hamlet, but she is never asked a question and she never asks one. “I shall obey, my lord,” is her only resting place, and it does not serve her well. Quiet, blind, verbal obedience is not the recipe for successful womanhood, even way back in Ophelia’s day. Ophelia lacks strength. No woman has shown her strength. She is surrounded by only male dominance and the verbal abuse that leads to quiet servitude and fragility. Our Ophelia is very fragile. The only woman who could stand up for her, Gertrude, doesn’t. Thus our pretty Ophelia fades, like the wildflowers she clutches. She fades out of sight, quiet and demure, pretty, thin, well-dressed — many mothers would hail her as a paragon of beauty and grace. With her little sad smile Ophelia heads to the brook, mumbling to herself snippets of old tunes, and goes quietly mad. Just before she takes her own life. Dearest Students of Mine: Please don’t try to go through this life alone. You need people, you need other women. Seek them out if they aren’t seeking you out at the moment. Be courageous to do this. Make amends with your mother, if you can. You have been taught to find your voice. Do not forget this teaching. Ask your questions well, firmly, with dignity and intelligence. Demand only when you must, but then do so with courage and forthrightness. Surround yourself with people you respect and trust, people who listen to you and to whom you listen. Don’t worry if these numbers are few -- they will be. Cherish the few trustworthy voices and tolerate the rest, but do not listen to unkind, mean voices. Separate yourself 14 | |
from these. Help who will be helped and leave the rest. It’s all you can do. I learned this the hard way and it took me too many years. Girls, I ask us: Where are the strong women? Strong women stand up for themselves and for other women. Strong women ask for help and call on other strong women when they fall down. Strong women have names like Rosa Parks and Malala Yousafzai and Eleanor Roosevelt. They also have names like Elizabeth and Polly and Whitney and Kat and Ashley. They are you, my dears. You are the strong women. Quiet heroes, strong women, helping each other. Helping Ophelia. We know what to do, now we must do it. To be or not to be Ophelia? Absolutely not. It’s out of the question. Shari Ray is the Senior English teacher and English Department Chair. This is the first in a series of essays by St. Mary’s faculty about teaching, learning, and life. English Department Chair and Senior English Teacher Shari Ray in the classroom. WINTER 2015 | | 115 5
Page 1 and 2: Winter 2016 Bridging the Gap Alumna
Page 3 and 4: The Varsity Volleyball team revs up
Page 5 and 6: St. Mary’s alumnae (L-R) Patti Pe
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Page 13 and 14: COLLEGE PLANNING: STARTING EARLIER
Page 15: New student services center offers
Page 19 and 20: New Members of the St. Mary’s Boa
Page 21 and 22: Campus News This Season in Turkey N
Page 23 and 24: the reunion was so enjoyable that w
Page 25 and 26: classmates. Betty Coe Cruzen Manuel
Page 27 and 28: oncologist! Edie Loeb is still livi
Page 29 and 30: Mary Long Merritt ’82 and Carol G
Page 31 and 32: Leigh Gordon Wright ’86 and daugh
Page 33 and 34: mediator with specialized training
Page 35 and 36: Douglas Looney welcomed baby girl i
Page 37 and 38: she and Michael are expecting a bab
Page 39 and 40: Braden just moved to St. Louis, and
Page 41 and 42: Grosse Pointe Public Schools. She s
Page 43 and 44: Allyson Patterson adopted a snuggly
Page 45 and 46: Milestones Tennis team and was sele
Page 47 and 48: $1,500 per student. It allows Turke

Bridging the Gap

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