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UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST<br />
20 Years later and it’s still<br />
FREE<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
Voted<br />
Greater L/A’s Best<br />
Mortgage Company<br />
two years running,<br />
2014 & 2015!<br />
207-782-7113<br />
Get Your FREE<br />
Quote Today!<br />
Richard Moylan<br />
(207) 777-0050<br />
791 Kittyhawk Ave.<br />
Unit 5, Auburn<br />
richardmoylan@allstate.com<br />
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com<br />
Insurance and coverages subject to terms. qualifications and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance<br />
Company, Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company<br />
OUR LOW AUTO LOAN RATES CAN SAVE YOU A PILE OF CASH!<br />
Finance or transfer your vehicle today.<br />
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all your<br />
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Financing<br />
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34 Bates Street, Lewiston • 782-7192<br />
760 Minot Ave, Auburn • 753-0500<br />
www.GreatFallsfcu.com
1967 Lisbon Road, Lewiston<br />
Weight Loss • Healthy Foods • Customized Circuit Fitness<br />
Let <strong>Uncle</strong> Sam<br />
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“Why does <strong>February</strong> feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker<br />
MODERN WOODMEN<br />
OF AMERICA<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
Saturday, Feb 6th<br />
Sabattus KC Bean Supper<br />
4:30 – 6pm<br />
131 High St, Parish Hall,<br />
Sabattus, $6 Member; $7 Guest<br />
Sunday, Feb 7th<br />
Sabattus American Legion<br />
Breakfast 7:30 – 10am<br />
(Chapter 8609)<br />
Island Rd, Sabattus<br />
$5 Member; $6 Guest<br />
Wednesday, Feb 10th<br />
99 Restaurant 4 - 7pm<br />
(Chapter 14437)<br />
650 Center St, Auburn<br />
$8.50 Member; $9.50 Guest<br />
Tuesday, Feb 16th<br />
Sam’s Noon – 7pm<br />
(Chapter 14346)<br />
Marketplace Mall, Lewiston<br />
$4.50 Member; $5.50 Guest<br />
Saturday, Feb 20th<br />
KC Sacred Heart Bean Supper<br />
4:30 - 5:30pm<br />
8 Sacred Heart Place, Auburn<br />
$5 Member; $6 Guest<br />
Sunday, Feb 21st<br />
Flagship Cinema<br />
(Chapter 12749)<br />
730 Center St, Auburn<br />
$4 Member; $5.50 Guest<br />
Tuesday. Feb 23rd<br />
Ari’s Pizza 11:30 – 1pm<br />
(Chapter 10929)<br />
457 Main St, Norway<br />
$5 Member<br />
Saturday, Feb 27th<br />
Red Claws vs Sioux Falls<br />
Skyforce 7pm<br />
(Chapter 12907)<br />
239 Park St - Portland Expo<br />
$4 Person<br />
Happy Valentines day, hope you all get some...... Chocolates that is.<br />
TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RE-<br />
TURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED<br />
Prices, Dates and Menu are subject to<br />
change. If additional info is needed, please<br />
call our office, please do not call restaurants.<br />
All activities can only be attended at<br />
the times listed.<br />
*************************<br />
Tickets need to be purchased at the<br />
Modern Woodmen District Office,<br />
184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all<br />
activities and can only be picked up the<br />
week prior to the activity, Mon – Thurs<br />
9am - 4pm & Friday 9am - Noon<br />
(excluding Holidays). Call 782-1833.
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST<br />
is published by the first<br />
Friday of every month by Maine<br />
Mountain Ocean Group, Inc.<br />
with offices at 9 Grove Street,<br />
Auburn, Maine, USA.<br />
It is distributed free throughout<br />
Central Maine and mailed to<br />
subscribers all over the Free<br />
World. Subscriptions are<br />
$30/year. Send a check made out<br />
to UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST to:<br />
PO Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys<strong>Digest</strong>.com<br />
Office: 207-783-7039<br />
Fax: 207-777-3898<br />
UAD Super Heroes<br />
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Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.<br />
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While <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> tries very hard to<br />
ensure the accuracy of the information in our<br />
client’s advertisements and our publication in<br />
general, we are not responsible for vendor<br />
availability, typographical errors, technical inaccuracies,<br />
product pricing errors, or omissions.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
4<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Rejection is all about who you no.
I think every morning that I'm going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.<br />
The Origin of<br />
Groundhog Day<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Out ’n About with<br />
DuBois Realty Group<br />
of Keller Williams<br />
Realty<br />
at Flagship Cinemas for their<br />
Client Appreciation Day<br />
Jozette Forastiere, Toni Ferraro,<br />
Marnie & Brian DuBois<br />
We’re showing<br />
Luke Skywalker a house<br />
right after the<br />
Star Wars movie.<br />
Groundhog Day may<br />
be associated strongly<br />
with the 1993 Bill Murray<br />
film, but its origins<br />
lie with German<br />
settlers in the 18th<br />
century. The name<br />
Punxsutawney, the<br />
town in Pennsylvania<br />
where the groundhog<br />
ceremony takes place<br />
every year, comes from<br />
the Indian name for the<br />
location "ponksaduteney,"<br />
which means<br />
"the town of the sand<br />
flies."<br />
When German settlers<br />
arrived in the 1700s,<br />
they brought the celebration<br />
of Candlemas<br />
with them. German tradition<br />
holds that if the<br />
sun comes out on Candlemas,<br />
the hedgehog<br />
will see its shadow and<br />
six more weeks of Winter<br />
will follow. If no<br />
shadow is seen, legend<br />
says Spring will<br />
come early.<br />
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I know I'm supposed to back up my files, but I still haven't found reverse<br />
on my computer.<br />
The German settlers<br />
in Pennsylvania<br />
continued the tradition<br />
but used a groundhog<br />
rather than a<br />
hedgehog.<br />
The groundhog, also<br />
known as a woodchuck<br />
[Marmota monax], is a<br />
member of the squirrel<br />
family. Groundhogs in<br />
the wild eat succulent<br />
green plants, such as<br />
dandelion, clover, and<br />
grasses.<br />
(continued on next page)<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 5
(continued from previous page)<br />
The first official<br />
Groundhog day was on<br />
<strong>February</strong> 2nd, 1887, at<br />
Gobbler's Knob, about<br />
65 miles northeast of<br />
Pittsburgh, although its<br />
first reference can be<br />
found in 1841.<br />
Today it is celebrated<br />
in the USA and<br />
Canada, with the most<br />
popular ceremony in<br />
Punxsutawney, although<br />
there are several<br />
others across both<br />
countries. Crowds in<br />
Punxsutawney can be<br />
as large as 40,000,<br />
and have increased in<br />
popularity since the Bill<br />
Murray film.<br />
Punxsutawney Phil, the<br />
world's most famous<br />
groundhog, has seen<br />
his shadow nearly 100<br />
times, has not seen it<br />
15 times, and nine<br />
years are unaccounted<br />
for.<br />
Those who study tornadoes have twistered minds.<br />
Look your best.<br />
Feel your best!<br />
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Golf is a lot like taxes - you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.<br />
Know Who You Hire<br />
“When God was making<br />
the months I think<br />
<strong>February</strong> was a mistake,<br />
like a burp. There<br />
it was, small, dark, and<br />
prickly. It had absolutely<br />
no redeeming<br />
qualities.”<br />
- Shannon Wiersbitzky,<br />
What Flowers Remember<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
6<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
“The intelligent choice<br />
for today’s world.”<br />
Background checks for Employers<br />
Misdemeanor Searches<br />
Felony Searches<br />
Statewide Criminal Conviction Searches<br />
Driver Violation & Accident Reports<br />
Professional License / Degree Verifications<br />
Medicaid / Medicare Fraud Certifications<br />
Sex Offender Registry Examinations<br />
Kicking cancer<br />
207-783-0000 or 1-800-818-8809 in the • can! www.KnowWhoYouHire.com<br />
Some diets cause a gut reaction.
Sign inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.<br />
Out ’n About with<br />
DuBois Realty<br />
Group<br />
of Keller Williams<br />
Realty<br />
at Flagship Cinemas for<br />
their Client Appreciation<br />
I’m really enjoying<br />
being taller than<br />
my Mom!<br />
classrooms. offices. libraries. rest rooms. locker rooms. cafeterias.<br />
Marnie DuBois &<br />
Olivia DuBois<br />
Thanks guys<br />
for the popcorn<br />
and the movie!<br />
Corey Bedell &<br />
Kyle Bedell<br />
Designed for learning.<br />
Engineered for longevity.<br />
www.SchiaviLeasingCorp.com<br />
A paper cut and lemon<br />
juice, pizza and heartburn,<br />
you and me, are<br />
just a few things that<br />
aren't supposed to go<br />
together but usually<br />
end up that way.<br />
Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step - blaming<br />
my parents.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 7
Out ’n About with<br />
DuBois Realty<br />
Group<br />
of Keller Williams<br />
Realty<br />
If you saw a bear foot in the woods it would give you paws for concern.<br />
at Flagship Cinemas for<br />
their Client Appreciation<br />
I’ll be back<br />
to clean the<br />
butter stains off<br />
the carpet.<br />
Fred Collins<br />
Collins Carpet Cleaning<br />
Martin Bailey<br />
and friends<br />
I’m a big<br />
Trekkie and I<br />
love popcorn!<br />
Cara Craw Sardella<br />
was excited to see the new<br />
Star Wars movie<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
8<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it planning my future?<br />
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Not to be combined<br />
with any other special.<br />
Expires 2.29.16<br />
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.<br />
Ambulance<br />
Chaser<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Mike walked into a post<br />
office just before<br />
Valentine's day, he<br />
couldn't help noticing a<br />
middle-aged, balding<br />
man standing in a corner<br />
sticking "Love"<br />
stamps on bright pink<br />
envelopes with hearts<br />
all over them. Then the<br />
man got out a bottle of<br />
Channel perfume from<br />
his pocket and started<br />
spraying scent over the<br />
envelopes.<br />
Mike's curiosity had got<br />
the better of him, and<br />
so he asked the man<br />
why he was sending all<br />
those cards. The man<br />
replied, "I'm sending<br />
out 500 Valentine<br />
cards signed, 'Guess<br />
who?'"<br />
"But why?" asked<br />
Mike.<br />
"I'm a divorce lawyer,"<br />
the man replied.<br />
Long Hair<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A boy asks his father<br />
to use the car and the<br />
father replies "No, not<br />
until you cut your<br />
hair!".<br />
The boy replies "But<br />
father... Jesus had long<br />
hair!"<br />
His father says, "Yeah,<br />
but Jesus walked<br />
everywhere."<br />
In my next life I'm going to have more memory installed.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 9
Covering his<br />
Tracks<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Over breakfast one<br />
morning, a woman said<br />
to her husband, “I bet<br />
you don't know what<br />
day this is?”<br />
“Of course I do,” he answered<br />
indignantly, as<br />
he slammed the door,<br />
and drove to his office.<br />
At 11 o'clock, the doorbell<br />
rang. The wife answered,<br />
and there at<br />
her front door was a<br />
UPS driver, in his had<br />
was a box containing<br />
12 red roses.<br />
Later, at 2 pm there<br />
was another knock at<br />
the door, this time it<br />
was a deluxe box of<br />
Belgian chocolates.<br />
Eventually the husband<br />
came home, tired after<br />
a hard day's work. His<br />
wife greeted him by<br />
saying: “First the flowers,<br />
then the chocolates,<br />
I've never had a<br />
more wonderful<br />
Groundhog Day in my<br />
life!”<br />
“There is no way that<br />
this winter is ever<br />
going to end as long as<br />
this groundhog keeps<br />
seeing his shadow. I<br />
don't see any other<br />
way out. He's got to be<br />
stopped. And I have to<br />
stop him.”<br />
Life is all about change, especially if you are a cashier.<br />
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Phil Connors<br />
Groundhog Day<br />
(the movie)<br />
Marnie DuBois<br />
207-344-3230<br />
195 Center St. • Auburn • DuBoisRealtyGroup.net<br />
Brian DuBois<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
10<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
My phone spends so much time stuck to a charger, I might as well just call it a landline.
Because Business Should Lead To Abundance<br />
Own your<br />
own business?<br />
Want to make<br />
it better?<br />
Call us.<br />
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Because Business Should Lead To Abundance
Out ’n About at<br />
Auburn Savings<br />
Bank with YPLAA<br />
Young Professionals of<br />
Lewiston Auburn Area<br />
for their after hours event<br />
Airline pilots make many friends in high places.<br />
Melissa Donahue<br />
Isaacson & Raymond<br />
& Bill Tracy<br />
Auburn Savings Bank<br />
Conrad Gilman<br />
Industrial Roofing Co<br />
Bret Crockett<br />
Hammond Lumber<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
12<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
An excellent way to lose weight is by skipping... snacks and dessert.
A book never written: “Avoiding Valentine’s Day” by I.M.N. Love.<br />
Perfect Gift?<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Jonny asked his friend,<br />
Tony, whether he had<br />
bought his wife anything<br />
for Valentine's<br />
Day.<br />
“Yes” came the answer<br />
from Tony who was a<br />
bit of a chauvinist, “I've<br />
bought her a belt and a<br />
bag.”<br />
“That was very kind of<br />
you,” Jonny added, “I<br />
hope she appreciated<br />
the thought.”<br />
Tony smiled as he<br />
replied, “So do I, and<br />
hopefully the vacuum<br />
cleaner will work better<br />
now.”<br />
You could walk this over to your friends but it's less hassle to just e-mail it to them.<br />
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Now that oil is cheaper, we should start drilling for black printer ink.<br />
The Dream<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A woman was taking a<br />
nap on Valentine’s Day<br />
afternoon. After she<br />
awoke, she told her<br />
husband, “I just<br />
dreamed that you gave<br />
me a gorgeous and<br />
expensive diamond<br />
necklace for Valentine’s<br />
Day! What do<br />
you think it means?”<br />
“You’ll know tonight,”<br />
he said.<br />
That evening, her husband<br />
came home with<br />
a small package for<br />
her. Thrilled, she<br />
opened it and found a<br />
book titled ‘The<br />
Meaning of Dreams.’<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 13
Out ’n About at<br />
Auburn Savings<br />
Bank with YPLAA<br />
Young Professionals of<br />
Lewiston Auburn Area<br />
for their after hours event<br />
40 Under 40<br />
voting is happening<br />
right now!<br />
Get to our Facebook<br />
page and vote!<br />
At 42, I’m starting to think a celebrity isn’t going to adopt me.<br />
Our 5th<br />
Annual<br />
Competition!<br />
Ashlee Vandiver<br />
L/A Hearing Center<br />
& Megan Moody<br />
Auburn Savings Bank<br />
See page 39<br />
to learn more about<br />
the 40 Under 40<br />
for L/A!<br />
THE MAIN EVENT<br />
Saturday, March 5th, <strong>2016</strong><br />
Reception at 6pm • Show starts at 7:30pm<br />
Franco Center, Lewiston<br />
Tickets start at $25<br />
Tickets available at the Franco Center Box Office 207-783-1585<br />
For ticket purchases online: www.sandcastlemaine.org<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
14<br />
Erica Dostie &<br />
Phil Doucette<br />
Austin Associates<br />
I used to love the<br />
candy Nerds, but I<br />
stopped eating them<br />
when I realized that for<br />
me, it was basically<br />
cannibalism.<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Photo credit: EM Images<br />
Sponsorships Available.<br />
Please call 207-782-2150<br />
1st Prize $ 750<br />
2nd Prize $ 500<br />
3rd Prize $ 250<br />
All proceeds to benefit Sandcastle Clinical &<br />
Educational Services and L/A Hearing Center.<br />
www.sandcastlemaine.org<br />
www.lahearingcenter.org<br />
I think these wireless headphones my wife gave me might be earmuffs.
I'd probably be more of a go getter if I knew what I was going to get.<br />
We Offer Beard Grooming!<br />
Mens & Boys CUTS for<br />
All day – Every day! Walk-ins welcome.<br />
Flat Tops - Fades - Mohawks - Mens & Boys Regular Cuts - Waxing<br />
Marcel’s<br />
54 Mill Street, New Auburn • 783-3444<br />
OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm; Sat 7:30am - 2pm<br />
Out ’n About at Auburn Savings Bank with YPLAA<br />
Young Professionals of Lewiston Auburn Area for their after hours event<br />
Since<br />
1954<br />
$<br />
12<br />
Rollodrome<br />
WINTER SCHEDULE<br />
Thursday Nights - Ages 20+ 7:30-10pm<br />
Friday Nights - All Skating 7:30 - 10:00<br />
Saturday & Sunday - 1:30 - 4pm<br />
Saturday Nights - Family Night 7:30 - 10pm<br />
Sunday Night - All SK8 • 7:30 - 10pm<br />
Where Good Skaters Meet<br />
School<br />
Vacation Skate<br />
Wednesday, Feb. 17th<br />
1:30–4:00<br />
12 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 777-3940<br />
www.rollodrome.com<br />
Just<br />
call me a trendsetter...<br />
Stacey Chase, April Millett, Kimberly Goulet, Mike Peters & Spencer Wigton<br />
Mac’s Grill (caterers)<br />
I just want 30 minutes on the treadmill to go as quick as 30 minutes on Facebook.<br />
Status Sign<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Mr. Schwartz was the<br />
oldest of 7 children, so<br />
he had to quit school<br />
and work to help support<br />
his younger brothers<br />
and sisters. He<br />
never learned to read,<br />
so when he married<br />
and started a checking<br />
account, he signed his<br />
checks simply "XX".<br />
Eventually he started<br />
his own business,<br />
which immediately<br />
prospered.<br />
He soon was a very<br />
rich man. One day, he<br />
got a call from his<br />
bank. "Mr. Schwartz,"<br />
said the banker, "I<br />
need to ask you about<br />
this check. We weren't<br />
sure you had really<br />
signed it. All these<br />
years you've been<br />
signing your checks<br />
'XX', but we just got<br />
one that was signed<br />
with three XXX's..."<br />
Mr. Schwartz answered,<br />
"No problem,<br />
my friend. It's just that<br />
since I've become so<br />
wealthy, my wife<br />
thought I ought to use<br />
my middle name."<br />
First cave man to<br />
2nd cave man:<br />
“I don’t care what you<br />
say. We never had<br />
such unusual weather<br />
before they started<br />
using bows and<br />
arrows.”<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 15
Out ’n About at the<br />
Heidi’s Brooklyn<br />
Deli Gathering<br />
Their holiday celebration<br />
at Schemengee’s<br />
You gotta see<br />
Abby’s video she made<br />
for Heidi’s. It’s hilarious!<br />
Head to their Facebook<br />
page right now!<br />
Jimbo on Tim: He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.<br />
WE’VE MOVED!<br />
Come visit our new location at 205 Washington Street South in Auburn<br />
Not Too Early to Start Thinking Spring Sports<br />
• Team & School Uniforms<br />
Baseball • Softball<br />
Track • Lacrosse<br />
• Screen Printing<br />
• Embroidery<br />
205 Washington Street South, Auburn • 207-784-4184 • coastaltshirts.com<br />
Kristie, way to<br />
BUCK the trend<br />
to be a STAR.<br />
Abby Rines &<br />
Kristie Acker<br />
Out ’n About at Auburn Savings Bank with YPLAA<br />
Young Professionals of Lewiston Auburn Areafor their after hours event<br />
Thank you<br />
everyone for your<br />
support! We’re excited<br />
for <strong>2016</strong>!!<br />
Becky Davis (manager) &<br />
Michele Tribou (owner)<br />
Dan Williams<br />
Pool shark<br />
Connor Beatty, Megan Moody & Melissa Donahue<br />
Brann & Isaacson, Auburn Savings, Isaacson & Raymond<br />
207-777-1520<br />
Matt Shaw, Annette Jo & Loren Lachapelle<br />
Community Credit Union, Hilton Garden Inn & YMCA<br />
Express Your Love<br />
with Flowers!<br />
Why be ordinary when you can be<br />
extraordinary!<br />
Sweet Pea Designs<br />
Always free delivery in L/A<br />
sweetpeafloraldesignsme.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
16<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
Are hummingbirds just regular birds that don't know the words?<br />
NOW HIRING!<br />
Make a difference in the lives of adults or<br />
children while having a rewarding career!<br />
Work one on one with adults and children with a diagnosed<br />
intellectual disability in support of their treatment goals both in<br />
their homes and in the community. Must have a valid driver’s<br />
license and a high school diploma or GED.<br />
Whether you are skilled social services professional<br />
or someone who is just starting out in this industry,<br />
Merrymeeting Behavioral Health has a place for you to<br />
utilize and/or build your skills!<br />
76 Pleasant Street, Brunswick • 207-721-0214<br />
Merrymeetingbha.com • hr@merrymeetingbha.com<br />
• 100% Paid Training<br />
• Flexible Hours<br />
• FT and PT Positions<br />
• Benefits for FT Staff<br />
• Mileage Reimbursement<br />
Willing to train<br />
good people!<br />
Apply online TODAY!!<br />
It's, "Jamaican hairstyle day" at work tomorrow, I'm dreading it.<br />
Our<br />
Sweetheart<br />
Contest!<br />
Our Sweetheart Contest<br />
was another huge hit this<br />
year. We ran a photo contest<br />
on our Facebook<br />
page where each entrant<br />
would submit their favorite<br />
photo and then finish the<br />
poem, “Roses are Red...”<br />
they had to be creative –<br />
the most creative would<br />
win this fabulous package:<br />
• Dinner for 2 at Sea 40<br />
• Presentation Bouquet from<br />
Sweet Pea Designs<br />
• A Champagne Basket<br />
from Roopers<br />
• A Couples Massage from<br />
Rachel Larrivee Massage<br />
• A $250 Shopping Spree<br />
at Day’s Jewelers<br />
We hope you enjoy all the<br />
sweetheart pics in our<br />
SWEETHEART edition!<br />
We had many creative<br />
poems (we couldn’t publish<br />
them all), it was a<br />
tough choice... our<br />
BIG WINNER is... drum<br />
roll please...<br />
www.pelletierskarate.com<br />
Sarah & Alex<br />
Tremblay<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue; we need a night out,<br />
that's just me and you.<br />
These days blend together,<br />
and I sometimes forget; to<br />
hug you so tightly, like when<br />
we first met. You're the man<br />
of my dreams, you've given<br />
me so much; love, children,<br />
time, patience, I still melt<br />
with your touch. With the<br />
help of <strong>Uncle</strong> <strong>Andy's</strong> <strong>Digest</strong>,<br />
since money is tight; we will<br />
have a wonderful time, on<br />
this glorious night!<br />
One day I'd like to defend a penguin in court just to say, "Your Honor, my client<br />
is clearly not a flight risk."<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 17
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Invisible threads are the strongest ties. – Friedrich Nietzsche<br />
Customizable Charm Bracelets<br />
& Necklaces<br />
as shown $12.50<br />
(additional charms $2.50 ea.)<br />
Offering Unique Gifts All Year Long!<br />
Heidi & Donald<br />
Covert<br />
Hours: Tues. Wed. Fri. 10am-5pm<br />
Thurs. 2pm-7pm Sat. 11am-4pm<br />
785 Main St. Lewiston<br />
(just past Marden’s on the right) Plenty of parking!<br />
Visit EllieAnnaPurses.com<br />
Signs $7.50 & Up<br />
10% OFF<br />
your entire purchase with coupon this ad<br />
any time in <strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
Keith & Tyla Davis<br />
Out ’n About at the<br />
Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli<br />
Holiday Gathering<br />
Razor Ray Beaudoin<br />
& Susan Tracy<br />
Roses are Red, <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy<br />
is Blue... Our love for the<br />
<strong>Digest</strong> and each other can<br />
never be misconstrued!!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
18<br />
Michael &<br />
Janice Barrett<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
LaBonte Financial Services, Inc<br />
Tax Preparation<br />
& Planning<br />
Bert LaBonte, CPA, MBA, MST<br />
155 Center Street, Auburn<br />
782-9500 • bglcpa@aol.com<br />
Alex Hewitt, Marlo Hewitt, Brent Cary,<br />
Nicole Cary & Kyle Giguere<br />
Call<br />
for FREE<br />
Estimate!<br />
Your smile is your weapon. Use it on your enemies.
"Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we got."<br />
Valentine Evening<br />
Enjoy fine dining with our dinner special<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
In Captain Don’s Loft<br />
$<br />
50.00 All Inclusive<br />
2 glasses of wine<br />
2 Entrees<br />
Soup & Salad<br />
Shared<br />
Dessert<br />
Call us to make<br />
reservations<br />
or for more info!<br />
Village Inn, 165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796<br />
Open Tuesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com<br />
A word to the wise isn't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.<br />
Mandy & Justin<br />
Audette<br />
Roses are red...yellow is the<br />
sun, he may drive me crazy,<br />
but I married a good one.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s is awesome,<br />
the contests are great, we<br />
are still a cute couple, who<br />
are in need of a date. We<br />
both work so much, so winning<br />
we will try, win or not I<br />
am lucky, Justin’s a really<br />
great guy!<br />
BK Auto<br />
Full Service Garage • Quality Pre-owned Vehicles • New & Used Tires<br />
Complete Restorations • State Inspection Station • Pipe Bending • Custom Exhaust<br />
2005 Buick Rendezvous CX<br />
78k miles<br />
Plow Truck Tires!<br />
LT265/70/17 (10ply) $622.04<br />
LT265/75/16 (10ply) $617.75<br />
(includes tax)<br />
Now:<br />
$<br />
3,849<br />
Studding available $20 per tire<br />
2000 Chevy K1500<br />
Ironman All<br />
Country<br />
A/T<br />
*All major tire brands<br />
and sizes available<br />
w/ plow<br />
175k miles<br />
Now: $ 8,750<br />
2290 Hallowell Road, Litchfield • 207-268-2163 • capt1022@yahoo.com<br />
2007 Mini Cooper S<br />
Common sense should be a super power because sense is not common.<br />
132k miles<br />
Now: $ 6,800<br />
Come Check<br />
Us Out!<br />
Denise & Richard<br />
Vincent<br />
Jake & Heather<br />
Turner<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 19
Inlaw or<br />
Outlaw?<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Winter's coming so I'm knitting you a muffler. What size is your mouth?<br />
Bert took his dog to the<br />
vet.<br />
”Doctor,” he said sadly,<br />
“I’m afraid I’m going to<br />
have to ask you to cut<br />
off my dog’s tail.”<br />
The vet stepped back,<br />
“Bert, why should I do<br />
such a terrible thing?”<br />
”Because my motherin-law’s<br />
arriving tomorrow,<br />
and I don’t want<br />
anything to make her<br />
think she’s welcome.”<br />
Navy SEAL<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Some people are extremely<br />
impressed<br />
when you tell them<br />
you’re a Navy SEAL.<br />
Case in point: My<br />
grandson’s pre-K class<br />
on Career Day. I regaled<br />
them with stories<br />
of my exploits in the<br />
military. After I finished,<br />
hands shot up into the<br />
air all over the classroom.<br />
The kids were<br />
eager to ask questions.<br />
“So,” asked one little<br />
girl, “can you balance a<br />
ball on the end of your<br />
nose?”<br />
“Beauty is in the eye of<br />
the beholder and it<br />
may be necessary from<br />
time to time to give a<br />
stupid or misinformed<br />
beholder a black eye.”<br />
– Jim Henson<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
20<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
I rub shampoo in my eyes every morning to prepare for the pain of the day.
Sometimes I think I’m pretty cool but then I remember plants can eat sun<br />
and poop out air.<br />
The Evolution of Heating<br />
Out ’n About at the<br />
Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli<br />
Gathering<br />
Their holiday celebration at<br />
Schemengee’s<br />
I’m dreamin’ up the<br />
next masterpiece<br />
sandwich right now.<br />
Late 1800’s<br />
1980<br />
2015<br />
95%<br />
efficient<br />
unitedpipingandwelding.com<br />
Plumbing • Heating • Oil • Gas<br />
Residential • Commercial • 24hr Emergency Service<br />
207-754-4556<br />
Kurtis Garland<br />
My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely<br />
I'll be stuck with it.<br />
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place<br />
Hours: Monday - Sunday 9am - 5pm<br />
(closed Tuesdays & Major Holidays)<br />
DAD’S PLACE<br />
REDEMPTION<br />
23 Pleasant St, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551<br />
Bottle Drives<br />
Welcome!<br />
MORE FOR YOUR $$<br />
Get more for your returns<br />
at Dad’s!<br />
✃<br />
Dad’s Redemption<br />
6¢<br />
on all 5¢ returns<br />
with this coupon.<br />
(must present coupon at<br />
Redemption Center prior to counting)<br />
UAD expires 2.29.16<br />
The Stressed out Snowman Had a Meltdown.<br />
Kevin Bellefleur &<br />
Nicole Oberlander<br />
Sawyer Cesare<br />
Kristen Lajoie<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 21
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Ed & Cindy Call<br />
When a fire broke out in the barber shop it was a close shave but everyone<br />
got out by a whisker.<br />
YOUR VEHICLE LOVES YOU<br />
Love it back! This <strong>February</strong> treat your<br />
vehicle to some much needed service.<br />
10% OFF*<br />
Your Service<br />
*Up to $50<br />
Not to be combined with any other<br />
✃<br />
offer.<br />
exp. 2/29/16<br />
Quality Care Auto • 183 Lisbon St, Lisbon • 207-353-9862 • www.QCA.me<br />
Out ’n About at the<br />
Heidi’s Brooklyn<br />
Deli Holiday<br />
Gathering<br />
Samantha Mathieu<br />
& Patrick Coffey<br />
Mariah St. Pierre, Averi Varney & MJ<br />
Sarah Vincent &<br />
Joshua Leblanc<br />
FALL IN LOVE WITH HEIDI’S<br />
Try one of these favorites:<br />
Fresh Mozzarella<br />
Cajun Turkey w/Avocado<br />
Hot Pastrami Sandwich<br />
Tiffanie & Alex<br />
Bement<br />
Mon-Sat 7am-9pm<br />
Sun 10am-8pm<br />
Locally Owned & Operated<br />
600 Turner Street, Auburn • 784-3434 • heidisauburn.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
22<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up!
"Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many -- not on your past<br />
misfortunes, of which all men have some." – Charles Dickens<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Sarah & Jared<br />
Legare<br />
Annette & Chris<br />
St. Pierre<br />
Shirley & David<br />
Smith<br />
Gavin & Carole<br />
Kane<br />
When you want to put a two liter bottle of soda away, shake it up a bit first.<br />
It will stay fizzy for weeks.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 23
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
I’m gonna strap a snowblower on my roof and drive south. When someone asks me<br />
what it is, that’s where I’m gonna live.<br />
Tammy & Marc<br />
Bureau<br />
Roses are red, diamonds are<br />
classy. Riding our bikes together<br />
makes me feel sassy.<br />
Rachel & John<br />
Dube<br />
Corinne &<br />
Richard Ryan<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
24<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
Kayla Rioux<br />
Dental Assistant<br />
The only lottery I ever win is for jury duty.<br />
Dr. Michelle L. Mazur-Kary<br />
DDS, MPH<br />
Your Root Canal<br />
Specialist!<br />
Erin Brown<br />
Practice Manager<br />
Central Maine Endodontics is<br />
pleased to announce the<br />
opening of our second location<br />
in Yarmouth, Maine. Patients<br />
will receive the same great<br />
care from board certified<br />
Michelle L. Mazur-Kary, DDS,<br />
MPH and her team. We look<br />
forward to serving our great<br />
patients in both communities.<br />
219 Mt. Auburn Ave, Auburn ME 04210 • 10 Forest Falls DR. Unit 5, Yarmouth ME 04096<br />
783-1671 • 888-330-9600 • Fax: 783-3717<br />
email: cendodontics@roadrunner.com • www.centralmaineendodontics.com<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Jason Hall &<br />
Debra Rumery<br />
Normal is just a setting on the dryer.<br />
Our Stars Shine Brighter<br />
Deborah & James<br />
Holloway<br />
Come see us for the rewarding career<br />
you’ve been looking for!<br />
WE’RE HIRING!<br />
Sherry & Norman<br />
Tanguay<br />
Join our team of caring professionals!<br />
Apply online at JFMhomes.org or visit 800 Center St, Auburn.<br />
John F. Murphy Homes, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and complies with all<br />
local, state, and federal guidelines in its employment practices & services provided.<br />
Your feelings depend not on what you see, but how you see it. What you see, is your<br />
destiny. How you see it, is your attitude.<br />
Candice & Travis<br />
Wilson<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 25
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
26<br />
Stumpy<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A man working at a lumberyard<br />
is pushing a<br />
tree through a saw<br />
when he accidentally<br />
shears off all ten of his<br />
fingers.<br />
He rushes to the emergency<br />
room of a nearby<br />
hospital where the<br />
awaiting doctor takes a<br />
look and says, “Yuck!<br />
Well, give me the fingers<br />
and I’ll see what I<br />
can do.”<br />
“I haven’t got the fingers.”<br />
The doctor says, “What<br />
do you mean, you<br />
haven’t got the fingers?<br />
This is the age of medical<br />
advances. We’ve<br />
got microsurgery and all<br />
sorts of incredible techniques!<br />
Why didn’t you<br />
bring me the fingers?”<br />
“Well, heck, doctor. I<br />
tried, but I couldn’t pick<br />
‘em up!”<br />
Glass Houses<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
A new arrival, about to<br />
enter hospital, saw two<br />
white coated doctors<br />
searching through the<br />
flower beds.<br />
“Excuse me,”<br />
he said, “have you lost<br />
something?”<br />
“No,” replied one of the<br />
doctors. “We’re doing a<br />
heart transplant for a<br />
tax collector and want<br />
to find a suitable<br />
stone.”<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
There’s a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days...<br />
It’s called Monday.<br />
Mainely Foot Care & Wellness<br />
Kathy Long<br />
Aesthetician / Podologist<br />
Tiffany Parsons<br />
Massage Therapist<br />
Foot Care • Massage<br />
Reflexology • Skin Care<br />
Gift Certificates Available<br />
for your True Love!<br />
155 Center Street, Auburn<br />
(207) 784-6699 • www.mainelyfootcare.com<br />
Out ’n About at the Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli Holiday Gathering<br />
I can’t get<br />
that song out of my<br />
head... “Call me on my<br />
cell phone...”<br />
Kyle MacVane, Kyle & Natalie Giguere<br />
Check out our<br />
awesome video on our<br />
Facebook page.<br />
Nick Witten, Natalie Williams,<br />
Katie Whittaker & Breanna Witten<br />
Accent your Occasion, Function, Team, Group or Event with Printed Apparel!<br />
LANDSCAPERS<br />
Get Your FREE<br />
Quote Today!<br />
Where Service and Quality<br />
make a difference!<br />
207-576-3210<br />
GRAPHICEXPLOSION.COM<br />
If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when<br />
you're old.
As the Winter snow turned into rain, Frosty began to realize that fame was sleeting.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Jean & Donald<br />
Drouin<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, I want to win this,<br />
honest I do. Now retired we<br />
have the time, but could only<br />
afford it on your dime.<br />
WWW.SRCU4U.COM<br />
Being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to 3 yrs to your life. Sarcasm is extremely<br />
healthy for the mind.<br />
SABATTUS MAIN STREET MARKET<br />
Daily Specials:<br />
Monday: Ham Italian ...................sm. $1.59 lg. $2.59<br />
Tuesday: 10” 1-topping Pizza ............................$3.99<br />
Wednesday: Chicken Salad ..........................sm. $1.99<br />
........................................................................lg. $3.49<br />
Thursday: Bowl of Chili......................................$3.99<br />
BLT .............................sm. $1.99 lg. $3.49<br />
Friday: Tuna Italian ......................sm. $1.99 lg. $3.49<br />
Saturday: Baked Beans ................qt. $3.59 pt. $2.59<br />
Sunday: .................................$2.00 off any large pizza<br />
2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502<br />
For the best in<br />
take-out,<br />
groceries, fresh<br />
meats, cold beer<br />
& more!<br />
Try us once,<br />
you’ll be a regular!<br />
Kristina Cote &<br />
Dylon Therrien<br />
Our pizza<br />
will make whatever<br />
you’re doing better.<br />
Come find out for<br />
yourself!<br />
OPEN 7 Days 6am - 8pm<br />
$<br />
5 .00 OFF<br />
ANY 2 LARGE<br />
PIZZAS<br />
UAD Expires 2.29.16<br />
Richard Patrie &<br />
Melissa Potter<br />
Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 27
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Don’t be afraid of death, be afraid of an unlived life.<br />
Crystal & Nina<br />
Vallieres<br />
Nickie & Jamie<br />
Ouellette<br />
Kelsey & Nathan<br />
Fish<br />
Tara & Sam<br />
Knight<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
28<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
If you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
With all this crap on the TV these days, I think it's about time our parrot went back<br />
in its cage.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Since 1953<br />
Open Daily 9am - 10pm<br />
LuiggisPizzeria.com<br />
SUNDAY<br />
Baked Ziti<br />
$<br />
6.00<br />
MONDAY<br />
The Fergy<br />
sm $<br />
2.99<br />
lg $<br />
5.75<br />
TUESDAY<br />
Meatball Subs<br />
WEDNESDAY<br />
Spaghetti Dinners<br />
1 meatball, salad,<br />
sm $<br />
3.35 w/ch $ 3.99<br />
garlic bread, drink<br />
lg $<br />
6.50 w/ch $ 7.50 $<br />
5.99<br />
Kayla & Matthew<br />
Caron<br />
THURSDAY<br />
Mini Pizza<br />
1 topping $<br />
2.99<br />
2 toppings $<br />
3.99<br />
FRIDAY<br />
$1.00 OFF<br />
Any Large Pizza<br />
SATURDAY<br />
2 Ham or Salami<br />
Italians<br />
$<br />
7.99<br />
EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $ 5.99<br />
I'm an expert at multitasking. I can cheat on six diets at the same time.<br />
Protect Those You Love<br />
Does your life insurance pay for a critical, chronic or terminal illness?<br />
Do you have life insurance you don’t have to die to use?<br />
Appropriate planning and programs to protect and preserve your<br />
family’s legacy. Let the professionals at Frisbie & Associates help<br />
you make sure you have the best plans in place.<br />
Call for a<br />
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Grover<br />
Jocelyn French &<br />
Steven Sidelinger<br />
Roses are red, Bacon, delicious,<br />
My man is a keeper,<br />
He cooks AND washes the<br />
dishes.<br />
Kevin Frisbie<br />
Financial Advisor<br />
Our Team: Kevin Frisbie, Jeremy Barnard,<br />
Chad Dion, Rick George, Melissa Lawrence,<br />
Chris Parnell, Ginger Leigh Smith,<br />
Patti Theriault & Angela Wilkinson<br />
656 Main St. Lewiston • 207-241-7430<br />
Ellie & Francis<br />
Gagnon<br />
My mail is a little slow. Last month my flower seeds came as a bouquet.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 29
Audrey Martin<br />
Independent Hair Stylist<br />
240-2591<br />
746 Main St, Ste 2, Lewiston • escadahairstudio.com<br />
CALL THE PROS<br />
Harris Brothers Rubbish Removal<br />
70 Main St, South Paris 1-844-ME-TRASH<br />
Residential~Commercial~Clean outs/Bulks<br />
Serving Oxford Hills, Minot, Hebron, Poland, Bridgton,<br />
Denmark, Naples, Lewiston & Auburn<br />
GOT TRASH?<br />
www.harrisbrothersrubbish.com<br />
Join us for some Affordable FUN!<br />
$<br />
12 up to 48 cards - Games pay $ 50 - $ 100<br />
LYAF<br />
Sunday at 6:00PM<br />
Wed., Thurs, & Friday<br />
at 6:30PM<br />
Pleasant Street Bingo Hall<br />
475 Pleasant St., Lewiston • 777-1394<br />
Our<br />
Winter Rates<br />
Will Amaze<br />
You!<br />
Call Greg Today & $AVE!<br />
212-5234 or<br />
333-5107<br />
Licensed<br />
Arborist<br />
20+ years<br />
• Tree Cutting & Removal<br />
• Tree Trimming & Pruning<br />
• Stump Grinding<br />
• Storm Damage Cleanup<br />
Booth<br />
Rental<br />
Available<br />
207-784-2545<br />
26 Nickerson Ave, Auburn<br />
(behind Great Falls Credit Union)<br />
Unique Gifts &<br />
Household Must-Haves!<br />
Primitives & Antiques<br />
Vintage & Estate Jewelry<br />
Antique & 2nd Hand Furniture<br />
Frames & Mirrors<br />
Pin-Ups, Classic &<br />
Contemporary Art<br />
Maps, Signage, Americana<br />
& Militaria<br />
Items to Repurpose, Recycle &<br />
Upcycle!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> Delivers Verified Buyers!<br />
Recent circulation and survey information from Circulation Verification Council (CVC)* has confirmed that<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> (UAD) is the leader in the Greater Lewiston/Auburn area. More people read UAD than<br />
any other publication in the area. And best of all, our readers use UAD as they plan their purchases.<br />
Advertise in <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> and get the results you want!<br />
See page 59 for more information.<br />
*Source: 2015 CVC Audit Report. Ask to see entire report. Call us today at 207-783-7039.<br />
cvcaudit.com<br />
If you're 16 & older, there's a 60% chance that you've already met the person you'll one day marry.
CALL THE PROS<br />
COMPLETE MECHANICAL<br />
REPAIR<br />
State Inspections •<br />
25 Fern Street, Turner<br />
207-225-5012<br />
Tires & Batteries •<br />
Tune-ups & Brakes •<br />
Engine Diagnostics •<br />
Air Conditioning •<br />
Complete Front End Work •<br />
FREE Shuttle Service •<br />
Pauline Guimond<br />
Stylist<br />
Call for your preferred<br />
time today!<br />
185 Webster St., Lewiston<br />
783-0200<br />
207-783-0200<br />
61 Mill Street, New Auburn • 783-6927 or 1-800-834-5706<br />
Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4 • MySelco.com<br />
Lowest prices on internal inspections<br />
and service work – GUARANTEED!<br />
Call for your FREE quote!<br />
Quality<br />
Workmanship<br />
since 1989<br />
ALTERNATIVE SPRINKLER<br />
FIRE PROTECTION<br />
Installation • Service • Inspections<br />
Dan Banker • 207-838-8930<br />
Central Maine’s choice for<br />
Complete Home Remodeling<br />
Insured • References • FREE Quotes<br />
207-786-4414<br />
www.straightlineroof.com<br />
Expert business, personal and non-profit tax and financial<br />
statement preparation.<br />
QuickBooks ProAdvisor on staff for all your<br />
bookkeeping needs.<br />
Personal service to EVERY client!<br />
1071 Lisbon Street, Lewiston • 207-783-2839 • www.rrscpa.com<br />
The spots and colors you see when you rub your eyes are called "phosphenes."
Silent Movie<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Bill Gates took advantage of his Windows of opportunity.<br />
It was Valentine's day<br />
and John and<br />
Danielle's first date.<br />
They sat in the darkened<br />
cinema waiting<br />
for the film to start. The<br />
screen finally lit up with<br />
a flashy advertisement<br />
for the cinema's concession<br />
stand. John<br />
and Danielle realized<br />
that there was no<br />
sound. The film began<br />
but the silence<br />
continued.<br />
Suddenly, out of the<br />
darkness, an irritated<br />
voice in the crowd<br />
loudly shouted, “Okay,<br />
who's got the remote<br />
control?”<br />
Now<br />
Open!<br />
#aeroairpark<br />
Fun For All<br />
Ages!<br />
Open Mouth<br />
Insert Foot<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A teacher was giving a<br />
lesson on the circulation<br />
of blood. Trying to<br />
make the matter<br />
clearer, he said, "Now,<br />
boys, if I stood on my<br />
head, the blood, as you<br />
know, would run into it,<br />
and I would turn red in<br />
the face."<br />
"Yes, sir," the boys<br />
said.<br />
"Then why is it that<br />
while I am standing<br />
upright in the ordinary<br />
position, the blood<br />
doesn't run into my<br />
feet?"<br />
A little fellow shouted,<br />
"Cause yer feet ain't<br />
empty."<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
32<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Upcoming Events:<br />
Join our Monthly<br />
"Aero Air Dunk Contest"<br />
Beginning Wed, Feb 10th 5-7 pm<br />
$15 to Register<br />
Visit our Website for Details<br />
GRAND OPENING<br />
Tuesday, Feb 23rd<br />
Discounts and Giveaways ALL DAY!<br />
Parties &<br />
Groups<br />
Welcome<br />
Check OUT Our New<br />
Website for Details<br />
www.aeroairpark.com<br />
40 East Ave. Lewiston Next to Sea40<br />
Hours: Mon-Thurs. 11a-9p;<br />
Fri. 11a-11p; Sat. 10a-11p<br />
Sun. 10a-9p<br />
207-783-3888<br />
I told the doctor I slipped on his front step, and he said, “Icy.”
When you are with the right person, every day is Valentine's Day!<br />
Voted best International Restaurant<br />
AND Best Sushi Restaurant by You,<br />
via Market Surveys of America,<br />
3 years running!<br />
Celebrating<br />
4 Years Serving<br />
L/A!<br />
Japanese Cuisine<br />
40 East Ave., Lewiston<br />
207-795-6888<br />
www.sea40me.com<br />
Make your reservations<br />
BEFORE Feb. 8th and be entered to WIN<br />
Our Valentine's Special:<br />
Dinner for TWO<br />
Flowers from Sweet Pea Designs<br />
Massage for Two from<br />
Cassiel's Day Spa<br />
Mermaid Night and Live Music at<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Jennifer & Alex<br />
Rogers<br />
Amber &<br />
Christopher Strout<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, 11 years we still ring<br />
true, ups and downs, we've<br />
had a few but my heart will<br />
always belong to you.<br />
Join us Thursday Nights 7–9pm<br />
Feb. 4 Toby McAllister<br />
Feb. 11 Dave Perlman<br />
Feb. 18 Cheryl with Double Entendre<br />
Feb. 25 Chad Porter with Brooke Lachance<br />
Every<br />
LADY<br />
chooses<br />
a Treasure<br />
from our<br />
Fishbowl<br />
40 East Ave., Lewiston • 207-795-6888<br />
www.sea40me.com<br />
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people<br />
eat.<br />
Brittina Maheux<br />
& Barrett Julian<br />
Roses are red, Violets are<br />
blue, being creative gets you<br />
dinner for 2. If you think you<br />
have the powers you can<br />
also win some really pretty<br />
flowers. So think real hard<br />
and think it through I'm trying<br />
my best babe because I love<br />
you.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 33
L/<br />
A t<br />
Good news from around Lew<br />
Hey L/A, keep watching (and reading) every month for more great stuff like what you’re about<br />
to read... We’re sure you’ll find it heartwarming and amazing.<br />
We’ll be on the look out for more local heroes, so if you know of one PLEASE let us know!<br />
We’re also looking for writers, who do you know that has a knack for writing a good story?<br />
Paying It<br />
Forward<br />
in L/A<br />
Written by Deborah Carroll<br />
Maura Moody, of Winthrop,<br />
Maine, is 25-years-old, but wise<br />
beyond her years.<br />
Having just celebrated her quarter<br />
century milestone, and feeling<br />
blessed, Moody thought “I am so<br />
rich with love,<br />
family and<br />
friends, that<br />
buying for myself<br />
just felt selfish.”<br />
“My birthday,”<br />
she suggests,<br />
“is a day to celebrate and give<br />
back to those who bring me so<br />
much life and so many lessons.”<br />
“<br />
“My birthday is a day<br />
to celebrate and give back<br />
to those who bring me so<br />
much life and so many<br />
lessons.”<br />
"<br />
“This is the stuff I live for,” says<br />
Moody, “this is the stuff that<br />
makes me light up.”<br />
Moody met her<br />
friend a month<br />
or so ago at the<br />
gym, and the<br />
pair quickly developed<br />
a bond<br />
based on mutual<br />
respect, encouragement,<br />
and acknowledgement<br />
of the difficulties we all experience<br />
as we move through life.<br />
And so Moody went shopping.<br />
Not for herself, but for a friend<br />
who needed some of the positive<br />
vibrations and love that Moody<br />
had herself been showered with<br />
on her big day. “And boy, was it<br />
entertaining,” said Moody. The<br />
“smiles, giggles and jokes,” that<br />
the pair shared while her friend<br />
tried on new outfits “has beyond<br />
made my birthday the best one<br />
yet.”<br />
With the wisdom and grace of<br />
one who has typically accumulated<br />
many more of both years<br />
and life experiences, Moody understands<br />
that “part of finding<br />
ourselves is discovering the true<br />
joy of giving back.” It’s a great reminder<br />
to us all that the simple<br />
act of giving can be so much more<br />
joyful and fulfilling than the act of<br />
receiving. n<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
34<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Valentines Day shouldn't be the only day you place a girl above everything else.
oday<br />
iston Auburn and Beyond!<br />
Photo courtesy of Colby Michaud, Praxis Production Studios<br />
An<br />
Amazing<br />
Gift<br />
Suzie Skougard was a wife and the<br />
mother to three kids who thought<br />
she had everything figured out.<br />
Then, just before her 30th birthday,<br />
she had her fourth child, Carly. She<br />
was born with Down syndrome.<br />
Suzie recently shared this touching<br />
story about her daughter and a<br />
local grocery store employee that<br />
sheds some light on people with<br />
Down Syndrome...<br />
they are my favorite moments in<br />
the world. This woman works at<br />
our local grocery store, I always<br />
pick her checkout lane. Even back<br />
when I was pregnant-- I chose hers,<br />
even when the line was longer.<br />
When I was pregnant, I'd talk to<br />
her in the few minutes<br />
I had. I wanted<br />
to know what Down<br />
syndrome would<br />
mean for my daughter<br />
as she got older.<br />
What would her life<br />
be like? Would she<br />
be anything like this<br />
woman?<br />
I never mentioned that Carly had<br />
Down syndrome until one day out<br />
of the blue when Carly was around<br />
6 months old, she wrapped her<br />
arms around her and said, "She has<br />
Down Syndrome."<br />
"She sure does," I said.<br />
“<br />
“Does she know<br />
sign language?”<br />
She asked as she<br />
pointed in Carly's<br />
direction.<br />
"<br />
"She knows a few signs!"<br />
"When I was a baby I did this one<br />
(she signs 'more') and this one (she<br />
signs 'please').<br />
"Yes! Carly knows those ones!"<br />
"I also know one<br />
more for her, I can<br />
teach her!" And she<br />
signed 'I love you.'<br />
I interacted with a lot<br />
of people at the grocery<br />
store. There was<br />
a woman who<br />
scolded me for not<br />
having shoes on<br />
Carly on a cold day, (she kicked<br />
them off), a clerk who was less<br />
than interested in helping me find<br />
an item, and an impatient person<br />
that shoved past because we were<br />
following behind an elderly gentleman<br />
that was moving slowly when<br />
they were in a hurry.<br />
Credit: Facebook/Team Carly Jean<br />
By the time I took the picture Carly<br />
had gotten upset, (it was past time<br />
for milk and nap was interrupted)<br />
but I still took this picture, because<br />
when exchanges like this happen,<br />
Today as we were leaving the<br />
store, she said, "I have Down Syndrome<br />
like her, and I have a big<br />
heart."<br />
"You definitely do have a big<br />
heart," I replied.<br />
"Does she know sign language?"<br />
She asked as she pointed in Carly's<br />
direction.<br />
Some people feel like people with<br />
Down Syndrome don't contribute<br />
anything meaningful to society,<br />
but amidst all the Grinches today,<br />
she stood apart. And just being her,<br />
she gave us an amazing gift. A<br />
smile.<br />
Written by Suzie Skougard for Love<br />
What Matters. Visit Team Carley Jean:<br />
https://www.facebook.com/Teamcarlyjean/ n<br />
To my friends who are committed: Happy Valentine’s Day!<br />
To all my friends who are single, Happy Independence Day!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 35
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my<br />
TV into the bedroom.<br />
CARPET CLEANING ◆ TILE & GROUT ◆ UPHOLSTERY CLEANING ◆ AREA RUGS<br />
Celebrating 30 Years of Service in the L/A Area!<br />
Amy Wasilkowski &<br />
Nathan Peterson<br />
“Family owned<br />
and operated<br />
since 1986.”<br />
Sherri & Matthew<br />
Jordan<br />
207-783-2933 • WWW.COLLINSCARPETCLEANING.COM<br />
In text messages, 1 out of every 16 words is "the."<br />
Sherry Coderoni<br />
& David Corbin<br />
Meghan & Derek<br />
Thomas<br />
Roses are red so is my husband's<br />
beard. I was lucky to<br />
find my leprechaun, my<br />
whole family cheered. I finally<br />
caught the one and he<br />
hasn't disappeared!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
36<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
When you're happy, you enjoy the music. But, when you're sad, you understand the<br />
lyrics.
Sometimes we don't need advice. We just need somebody to listen.<br />
JT Reid’s<br />
Guns<br />
LARGEST<br />
SELECTION<br />
of Hand Guns<br />
& Accessories<br />
in L/A!!<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Purchasing<br />
Gun Collections<br />
of Any Size!<br />
86 Court St., Auburn<br />
777-3579<br />
www.jtreidsgunshop.com<br />
Andrea &<br />
Stephen Beaulieu<br />
Edward Little Class of ’83 Lunch Date<br />
Lookin’ good for 50-something :-)<br />
Tara & Matt<br />
Weeks<br />
(front): Sue Grenier, Elaine Gammon, Andy Simones & Brenda Rivard<br />
(back): Robin Ellingwood (and her husband, Lee), Betsy Vallee, Dave Marcotte & Jim Marston<br />
Jessica Gertsch<br />
& Jacob Arundel<br />
336 Center St. Auburn<br />
777-1611<br />
Pamper your<br />
Sweetheart!<br />
Front: Darcy • Amanda • Jen - Back: Christopher • Kelley • Dezarae<br />
Tracy Dubois &<br />
Greg Seubert<br />
Roses are red and violets<br />
are blue. I'm the luckiest girl<br />
alive and soon to be a<br />
Seubert, too!<br />
It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon<br />
shopping cart.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 37
A Man of Few<br />
Words<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A prince was put under<br />
a spell so that he could<br />
speak only one word<br />
each year. If he didn’t<br />
speak for two years,<br />
the following year he<br />
could speak two words<br />
and so on.<br />
One day, he fell in love<br />
with a beautiful lady.<br />
He refrained from<br />
speaking for two whole<br />
years so he could call<br />
her ‘my darling.’ But<br />
then he wanted to tell<br />
her he loved her, so he<br />
waited three more<br />
years. At the end of<br />
these five years, he<br />
wanted to ask her to<br />
marry him, so he<br />
waited another four<br />
years.<br />
Finally, as the ninth<br />
year of silence ended,<br />
he led the lady to the<br />
most romantic place in<br />
the kingdom and said,<br />
“My darling, I love you!<br />
Will you marry me?”<br />
And the lady said,<br />
“Pardon?”<br />
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted<br />
blind.<br />
Bathroom sign<br />
submitted by Trisha Marston<br />
THOMAS BAUER, DDS, MS<br />
1 Willow Run, Mt. Auburn Ave, Auburn<br />
784-8587 or (888) 895-6801<br />
AndroscogginOrtho.com<br />
I am logged in, therefore I am.<br />
“Where you’re<br />
treated like family.”<br />
TEXAS HOLD’EM Tournament!<br />
Saturday, Feb. 13th & 27th Noon–5pm. Doors open at 11am.<br />
Your Event... HERE!<br />
Weddings • Graduations • Reunions • Birthday Parties<br />
Only Post painted by Scott LoBaido in Maine!<br />
American Legion Post 31<br />
426 Washington St. N. Auburn • 207-783-6992 • LegionPost31.com<br />
The famous SOS Breakfast 1 st Sunday of each month<br />
Cooked to order. PUBLIC Welcome! Only $ 5<br />
Being a gentleman never goes out of style.<br />
Send us your<br />
jokes & stories.<br />
We’ll get YOU published!<br />
Send them to<br />
Email: editor@<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com or<br />
Mail: PO Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212<br />
for consideration.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
38<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years. Getting over the hill was a workout!
"Pretty Boy" Floyd was a bank robber who destroyed debt papers, freeing many from<br />
money owed to the government.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Presents L/A’s<br />
40 Under 40<br />
YPLAA is pleased to present the INAUGURAL EVENT of the Lewiston-Auburn<br />
area’s top 40 professionals under the age of 40.<br />
All nominees will be in one of 10 categories with the top four vote getters in each<br />
category winning the prestigious honor of being one of our 40 under 40!<br />
Our Categories: Education, Entrepreneurs, Local Heroes, Local<br />
Government/Civic Leaders, Volunteers, Building L/A, Health & Wellness,<br />
Economic Development, Emerging Leaders & Creative Geniuses<br />
TIME<br />
TO<br />
VOTE!<br />
Nominations are closed. It’s now time to<br />
vote for the most deserving Young Professionals<br />
in Lewiston Auburn. These<br />
nominees should be the most involved in<br />
our communities – involved in non-profits,<br />
community events, volunteer to help at<br />
functions... live, work & play in L/A!<br />
Voting ends <strong>February</strong> 29th. The four individuals<br />
receiving the highest number of<br />
votes in each of ten categories will be our<br />
40 Under 40!<br />
All 40 Under 40 winners<br />
will be recognized at the<br />
YPLAA’s<br />
10th Anniversary Dinner on<br />
Friday, May 13, <strong>2016</strong>.<br />
This<br />
BLACK TIE EVENT<br />
will be one to remember!<br />
Kathleen &<br />
Charles Dearborn<br />
Shanna Seet<br />
& Mark Teets<br />
John & Jen Pike<br />
Roses are Red, Violets are<br />
Blue...I read <strong>Uncle</strong> <strong>Andy's</strong><br />
<strong>Digest</strong> and so should you...<br />
and you, and you, and YOU!<br />
Sierra Smith &<br />
Derek Higgins<br />
Go to the YPLAA Facebook page and<br />
click the link to vote. One vote per<br />
category per person.<br />
Questions? Email chair@yplaa.com • www.yplaa.com • Stay connected:<br />
The Guinness Book of Records was originally published by Guinness Breweries<br />
as a reference for settling bar arguments.<br />
Marybeth &<br />
Thomas Ray<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 39
Retirement & Social<br />
Security Planning<br />
Specialist<br />
A 9 year-old boy robbed a New York City bank in 1981 and got away with $118.<br />
Kevin Frisbie<br />
Financial Advisor<br />
Kevin Frisbie is Founder<br />
and President of Frisbie &<br />
Associates, a financial services<br />
firm with locations in<br />
Lewiston and Brewer, Maine.<br />
As an experienced financial<br />
professional, Kevin focuses<br />
his practice on developing financial<br />
programs and strategies<br />
that address the unique<br />
financial needs and circumstances<br />
of our country’s growing<br />
mature population and<br />
their adult children.<br />
Operating as an independent<br />
Financial Advisor, Kevin is free<br />
to act solely in the best interest<br />
of his clients. He believes<br />
in a holistic approach to retirement<br />
planning and is affiliated<br />
with a wide network of elder<br />
law attorneys and certified<br />
public accountants.<br />
Through education, business<br />
background, and personal<br />
experience, Kevin has<br />
garnered a broad base of<br />
knowledge which enables him<br />
to provide advice and guide<br />
his clients to their best plan of<br />
action.<br />
Kevin presents informational<br />
workshops on a variety<br />
of financial topics including:<br />
Asset Preservation, Social Security<br />
Planning, Long Term<br />
Care and Household Money<br />
Management Techniques. He<br />
dedicated his time to understanding<br />
individual’s financial<br />
needs and addressing their<br />
concerns. His ultimate goal is<br />
to provide his clients with financial<br />
peace of mind.<br />
You can reach Kevin and<br />
his team at 656 Main Street in<br />
Lewiston. Call 207-241-7430.<br />
See their ad on page 29.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
40<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
To all my single friends. If no one else loves you, I do. Happy Valentine's Day!
Valentines Day is one big scam. If someone loves you they should show you everyday!<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
We’re<br />
Celebrating<br />
Dealers from<br />
throughout<br />
New England<br />
Kelli Gilzow &<br />
Chad Stowell<br />
Roses are red...Violets are<br />
blue...cheers to 6 years,<br />
more beers, and only happy<br />
tears.<br />
SAT. APRIL 2 nd 9-4<br />
SUN. APRIL 3 rd 9-3<br />
at the<br />
Lewiston Armory<br />
Central Ave., Lewiston<br />
OPEN TO THE PUBLIC<br />
• 250 Tables of Guns & Related Items • Firearm Laws Will Be Observed<br />
Meghan & Jason<br />
Parks<br />
Roses are red, but if you pick<br />
'em they'll be dead. Bubbles<br />
are nice, if you keep the<br />
champagne on ice. So save<br />
the bouquet, but bring on the<br />
champagne, Or liquor or<br />
beer, we like them the same.<br />
A massage for two will be the<br />
most perfect of ways, to get<br />
ourselves relaxed for a shopping<br />
trip to Day's.<br />
• CONTEMPORARY & ANTIQUE GUNS OF ALL KINDS<br />
• KNIVES & OTHER RELATED ITEMS • Food Concessions & Raffles<br />
40 th Annual Twin Cities<br />
GUN SHOW<br />
Admission: Adults: $ 8<br />
Children under 12: Free with adult<br />
YES! Pandora I am still listening. Why so needy?<br />
Tina & Tony<br />
Robichaud<br />
Roses are red violets are<br />
blue I will fly as high as I<br />
need to stay next to you.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 41
“I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” — Voltaire<br />
The Cote Corporation<br />
“Dedicated to Excellence”<br />
Crane & Rigging Since 1966<br />
Millwright • Transportation • Warehousing<br />
2980 Hotel Road, Auburn • 207-783-0561 • www.cotecrane.com<br />
Hard Time<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
When a woman on the<br />
staff of the school<br />
where I worked became<br />
engaged, a<br />
friend and colleague<br />
offered her some<br />
advice.<br />
“The first ten years are<br />
the hardest.”<br />
“How long have you<br />
been married?” she<br />
asked.<br />
“Ten years,” he replied.<br />
Turning<br />
Ordinary<br />
into<br />
Extraordinary!<br />
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?<br />
Top Quality,<br />
Experienced and<br />
Exceptional DJ Service<br />
Weddings • Cocktail/Dinner Magic • Bar Mitzvahs • Events • Celebrations<br />
MagicalDJProductions.com • 207-576-4289<br />
BOOK<br />
EARLY!<br />
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?<br />
JOIN US AT THE AUBURN BRIDAL SHOW<br />
Sunday, <strong>February</strong> 28th at the Hilton Garden Inn<br />
WIN A FREE EVENT<br />
Book & pay your deposit by Feb. 28th<br />
and be entered to win!<br />
Have an open air<br />
photo booth at<br />
your next event!<br />
207-619-2454 • GingersnapRentals.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
42<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Visa is everywhere you want to be...except out of debt.
CELEBRATE<br />
with the one<br />
you LOVE<br />
Valentine’s<br />
Weekend<br />
at<br />
Mac’s Grill<br />
20% off all<br />
Burgers every<br />
Monday!<br />
30% off all<br />
drafts every<br />
Monday!<br />
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207-783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Mandy & Nick<br />
Zielinski<br />
Roses are red....His eyes are<br />
Blue... a dog & a cat & a 10<br />
year old, too!<br />
Yvonne Nickerson<br />
& Joe Ziehm<br />
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.<br />
10% OFF Your First Snow Plowing<br />
Commercial & Residential<br />
SNOW PLOWING • SANDING & SALTING<br />
FREE<br />
QUOTES<br />
Silly Boy<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Roger, who was 19 years<br />
old, was buying an expensive<br />
bracelet, to surprise<br />
his girlfriend on<br />
Valentine's Day, at a very<br />
posh jewelry store in Hatton<br />
Garden, London.<br />
The jeweller inquired,<br />
“Would you like your girlfriend's<br />
name engraved<br />
on it?”<br />
SNOW REMOVAL<br />
Morin<br />
excavating<br />
Roger thought for a moment,<br />
grinned, then answered,<br />
“No, instead<br />
engrave, ‘To my one and<br />
only love.’”<br />
The jeweller smiled and<br />
said, “Yes, sir; how very<br />
romantic of you.”<br />
Roger retorted with a<br />
glint in his eye, “Not exactly<br />
romantic, but very<br />
practical. This way, if we<br />
break up, I can use it<br />
again.”<br />
Inc.<br />
Andy Morin<br />
207.784.8293<br />
cell: 207.576.4714<br />
amorinexc@roadrunner.com<br />
Beautiful Princess<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A man found a frog that said,<br />
“Kiss me and I will become a<br />
beautiful princess.”<br />
The man studied the frog,<br />
then put it in his pocket.<br />
“Hey,” the frog croaked, “how<br />
come you didn’t kiss me?”<br />
“I’d rather have a talking frog<br />
than a princess any day!”<br />
Stephanie & Kyle<br />
Bates<br />
Brad’s Precision Auto<br />
144 Riverside Dr., Auburn • 207-333-0364<br />
Any Make... Any Model... Any Problem...<br />
NO<br />
PROBLEM!<br />
Laycee & Doug Smith<br />
Little girls wear pink, We're<br />
trying again, Maybe blue this<br />
time, What do you think?<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
44<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Don’t let car troubles<br />
bury you this winter!<br />
Brad’s mechanics: Marek, Mallory, Eli, Justin, Dan & John<br />
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?<br />
• Appointments<br />
required<br />
• Fully warranteed<br />
& certified<br />
• $65/hr labor rate
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
128 Lewiston Road, Mechanic Falls<br />
Open Daily 4:00pm – 1:00am<br />
Live Music Every<br />
Saturday Night!<br />
Feb. 6<br />
Midlife Krisis<br />
Feb. 13<br />
Northern Groove<br />
Feb. 20<br />
Riff Raff<br />
Feb. 7 Super Bowl Party<br />
Feb. 28 Dart Tournament<br />
Feb. 27<br />
Moticon<br />
12 Beers on Tap<br />
DJ w/Karaoke<br />
Full Pub Menu<br />
Pool Tables<br />
8 TV’s<br />
Dart Boards<br />
LIVE Entertainment<br />
“Water” Pong<br />
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?<br />
Save the Date<br />
14 Great Falls Plaza, Auburn<br />
(207) 784-4433<br />
Friday Feb. 26 th<br />
Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre<br />
Who Killed Jolly Roger?<br />
Arrggh... Matey! Are you brave enough to escape on this Pirate themed mystery? There’s no telling what<br />
will happen when a gaggle of pirates meet in the tavern at Blackguard’s Bay. Who knows? You may find a<br />
treasure chest of gold or you may end up “walking the plank!” Dress up in your best pirate outfit as<br />
the ale flows freely and hope that you make it back to safe harbor by the end of the evening!<br />
Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre<br />
Friday, <strong>February</strong> 26th<br />
$40/person • includes dinner & show<br />
Tune in to our Facebook for further updates!<br />
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!<br />
Andrew Parlin &<br />
Billie-Jo Tyler<br />
Roses are red, Wine is red<br />
too. Poems are hard... wine.<br />
Stacey & John<br />
Bsullak<br />
Roses are red, Violets shine<br />
blue. We farm together,<br />
laugh together, our love is<br />
true. Raising our family together<br />
with love that's what<br />
we do.<br />
Pamela & Brian Morin<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue... Married for eighteen<br />
years... It appears and we<br />
have been so blessed! Who<br />
would have guessed?! Four<br />
beautiful children... Who fill<br />
our lives with laughter, cries,<br />
and joy! Oh boy!!! This is an<br />
amazing ride..... I'm always<br />
grateful, and full of pride! I'll<br />
forever love you.... Today, tomorrow<br />
and in my dreams.<br />
We are always one it seems!<br />
Lucky me!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 45
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
During the trial, a lawyer objected to the audiologist's testimony, calling it hearsay.<br />
Weddings • Reunions • Corporate Events & More<br />
Don & Laura<br />
Bradman<br />
Professional<br />
service at an<br />
affordable<br />
price!<br />
No job too big or too small!<br />
Call Us Today for a Free Quote<br />
207-345-9009<br />
Bekka Mathieu<br />
& Nick Starbird<br />
Roses are red, their leaves are<br />
green. You're the most gorgeous<br />
man I've ever seen. Clouds are<br />
white and the sky is blue. The<br />
sun always shines, when I'm<br />
with you. The rain always<br />
ceases, and there's rainbows for<br />
miles. Every time you kiss me,<br />
the sun and moon smiles.<br />
There's no mountain top higher,<br />
than my love for you. Every adventure,<br />
holds memories new.<br />
With seven years down and 70<br />
more to go, I look forward to<br />
each year even more than you<br />
know.<br />
In equations with square numbers I can never find the root of the problem.<br />
Before After Before After<br />
Jen Conlogue<br />
& Tom Berry<br />
Paul Mitchell ® Professional Hair Color is proud to partner with<br />
Makeovers That Matter to give the gift of a color transformation<br />
to women returning from military service. Each woman received a<br />
complete makeover, including hair color formulated to highlight<br />
her unique beauty and color her confidence.<br />
ALL ABOUT<br />
Watch our Facebook page<br />
for updates about our<br />
Makeovers That Matter!<br />
Valentine<br />
Special<br />
Mini Makeover<br />
Color, Cut & Wax<br />
$<br />
99<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
46<br />
Patricia & John<br />
Morris<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
41 Broad St., Auburn • 207-784-5407 • AllAboutUsalonla.com<br />
It was so cold... When we parked the dog sled, we either had to plug in the dogs,<br />
or keep them running in place!
It was so cold... We had to chop up the piano for firewood, and we barely hit one chord.<br />
FREE Estimates • Reasonable Rates<br />
Call Chrissy TODAY!<br />
Locally Owned & Operated • Satisfaction Guaranteed<br />
Giving Back to our Community<br />
Proud sponsor of “Cleaning fora Reason”<br />
• Office Cleaning<br />
• House Cleaning<br />
• Janitorial Services<br />
• Customized Cleaning<br />
• Floor Services<br />
chrissysdownhomecleaning@gmail.com<br />
The Rodent Club finished drafting their constitution, but it has yet to be ratified.<br />
Lisbon Credit Union<br />
is taking applications for four $1,000<br />
Scholarships for High School Seniors<br />
going to college!<br />
No way...<br />
Applications<br />
must be in by<br />
May 2, <strong>2016</strong>.<br />
Relationship or hallucination? I don't care. Either way, I'm seeing somebody.<br />
Season<br />
Tickets<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A husband was engrossed<br />
in a magazine<br />
(most likely <strong>Uncle</strong><br />
Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong>) while<br />
his wife was reading<br />
the newspaper. Suddenly,<br />
she burst out<br />
laughing.<br />
"Get this," she said.<br />
"Some guy put an ad in<br />
here offering to swap<br />
his wife for a season<br />
ticket to the stadium."<br />
"Hmmmmm," her<br />
husband mumbled,<br />
still engrossed in his<br />
copy of the <strong>Digest</strong>.<br />
Wanting to test him,<br />
she asked, "Would you<br />
swap me for a season<br />
ticket?"<br />
"Absolutely not!" he<br />
said.<br />
"That's so sweet," she<br />
replied. "Tell me why<br />
not."<br />
“Heck, the season's<br />
more than half over!"<br />
he said.<br />
Hank's diet allowed him one hamburger a day.<br />
US.<br />
FOODS<br />
KEEPING KITCHENS COOKING<br />
Nel Morin, Territory Manager<br />
207.740.3398<br />
USFoods.com<br />
lionel.morin@usfoods.com<br />
Food Show<br />
March 15 th<br />
<strong>February</strong> Specials<br />
Camel Burger $ 14.95/lb<br />
Frog Legs $ 10.95/lb<br />
It was so cold... Richard Simmons started wearing pants!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 47
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Maine is almost as big as all the New England states combined in size.<br />
Alice & Ken Hoyt<br />
Roses are red: my husband<br />
is 85. I will love him, as long<br />
as I'm alive.<br />
Our Local Sports Programs are not<br />
Possible without Your Support!<br />
OUR SPONSORS:<br />
Mechanic Falls<br />
Auto<br />
Pam & Sam<br />
Willette<br />
FUNDRAISING PARTNERS & SUPPORTERS:<br />
Tsukroff<br />
Photography<br />
AMERICAN LEGION<br />
POST 150<br />
Victoria & Kevin<br />
McBean<br />
Congratulations TO OUR TOP SELLERS:<br />
Dominick Plourde • Alicia Starbird • Taylor Farrell • Parker Hackett • Braiden LeFebvre<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
48<br />
Wanda & Gary<br />
Tracey<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Mechanic Falls Recreation<br />
Contact Us About Any Of Our Sport Programs<br />
MechanicFallsRec.org<br />
MechanicFallsRec@yahoo.com<br />
Maine is the only state in America that shares its border with only one other state<br />
(New Hampshire).
She walked to the altar so many times, they're trying to make her pay for the carpet.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
FREE<br />
60 minute tanning<br />
package for him and her<br />
with tux rental!<br />
TUXEDOS<br />
STARTING AT<br />
$119.95<br />
Danielle &<br />
Devynn Maurals<br />
S&J Tuxedo<br />
located INSIDE Sarah Jeanne’s<br />
at 77 Sabattus Street in Lewiston.<br />
Sarah Jeanne’s<br />
Family Hair Care, Day Spa & Tanning<br />
Suit & Tuxedo Sales & Rental<br />
77 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • SarahJeannes.com<br />
795-6778<br />
Shannon Roux<br />
& Amber Morin<br />
Tyler Barnies &<br />
Mykayla McCann<br />
Gauthier Plumbing & Heating, LLC<br />
Commercial • Residential • Licensed & Insured<br />
207-212-2501 or 207-754-6351 • gauthierplmg.htgllc@yahoo.com<br />
A pat on the back is only a foot short from a kick in the butt.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 49
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Sharon & Keith<br />
Perry<br />
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.<br />
Rolly’s Diner<br />
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!<br />
Breakfast & Lunch<br />
Specials Daily<br />
Bring your<br />
Valentine to Rolly’s!<br />
You can’t beat the<br />
food or the<br />
value!!<br />
• Unusual Omelettes<br />
• Crepes<br />
• Breakfast All Day<br />
• Extensive Menu<br />
87 Mill St.<br />
New Auburn<br />
753-0171<br />
(for take-out)<br />
Wendi: Cookin’ up a storm!<br />
Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm<br />
Sunday 7 am – noon<br />
Dylan & Valorie<br />
Antone<br />
The writers for The Simpsons have a really great sense of homer.<br />
Sibley Promoted<br />
Betsy Sibley formerly the Marketing/Business Development Director at of<br />
Community Credit Union, has been promoted to Vice President of<br />
Marketing/ Business Development. Sibley has been with the Credit Union<br />
for 4 years. In her new position, Sibley oversees the sales, marketing,<br />
advertising, community outreach, internal staff training and event<br />
planning for the Credit Union.<br />
Amilla Kiesman<br />
& Daniel Merrick<br />
Sibley has a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing Management from<br />
Thomas College, is a recent graduate from the Androscoggin<br />
Leadership Development Institute, and is a Certified Insurance<br />
Counselor. Sibley is involved in the community serving as the<br />
Public Relations Committee Chair for the L-A Rotary Club,<br />
Secretary for the Turner Ridge Riders Snowmobile Club,<br />
as well as an Ambassador and Committee Member for the<br />
Androscoggin Chamber of Commerce. Sibley volunteers as a<br />
coach for the Turner Athletic Association and is a member of<br />
the Turner Parent Teacher Committee.<br />
She resides in Turner with her husband Scott and sons,<br />
Reid and Trent.<br />
Jessica Hemingway<br />
& Jamie Harkins<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
50<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Community Credit Union is a member-owned, full service financial<br />
institution that has been serving its members and the community<br />
since 1945. Community Credit Union has branches located at<br />
144 Pine Street, Lewiston; 40 Stanley Street, Auburn and<br />
1025 Auburn Road, Turner. For more information, log onto<br />
www.communitycreditunion.com.<br />
See their ad on page 8.<br />
I bet mimes are really good at drawing a blank.
If something's worth doing, it's worth doing rihgt.<br />
Friends You<br />
Can Count<br />
on<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Matty B.<br />
5-10am<br />
Greg Michaels<br />
10a-2pm<br />
Brian & Samantha<br />
Pulk<br />
Dave Dean<br />
2-6pm<br />
Gene Cassidy<br />
6pm-midnight<br />
Also Chris Hodgkins, Jay Mitchell & Alan Kabel<br />
Why Listen to Portland Radio<br />
When You Have Your Own?<br />
Susan Wheeler &<br />
Brian Girouard<br />
Cassandra Mathieu<br />
& Jake Hall<br />
Online at Z1055.com<br />
The official radio station of the<br />
Androscoggin County Chamber of Commerce and the<br />
L/A Fighting Spirit hockey team<br />
555 Center St., Auburn • Tel: 784-5868 • Email: GleasonMedia@gmail.com<br />
I clean my house like everyone else. Completely. 5 minutes before someone comes over.<br />
Rhonda & Mike<br />
Purrington<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 51
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Tickle Your<br />
Punny Bone<br />
By Ron Hood<br />
The editors of<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s<br />
<strong>Digest</strong> LOVE<br />
puns... we hope you<br />
enjoy Ron’s very<br />
punny<br />
article.<br />
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we<br />
clean when we use them?<br />
WHEN<br />
YOU’RE<br />
TIRED OF<br />
THIS...<br />
Karen & Jim<br />
Albert<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, I am so lucky to have<br />
found you. Through sickness<br />
and health, through richer or<br />
poorer, each year that<br />
passes, I love you morer!<br />
Holly & David<br />
Mireault<br />
Roses are red, Roopers is<br />
blue.. I would love to win the<br />
Valentine package from you!!<br />
Alicia & Shawn<br />
Leone<br />
<strong>February</strong> is here and that means<br />
Valentine’s Day, but love can be a touchy<br />
subject. There are different types of love<br />
aren’t there? A lumberjack loves his<br />
computer, and especially enjoys logging<br />
in, while the historian loves reading<br />
about bobcats because they are lynx to<br />
the past.<br />
My Aunt loves to tell jokes while she<br />
knits her latest creation, so we know that<br />
she is a real knit-wit. Then there’s the<br />
guy on reality TV who loves eating<br />
couches. I think he has a suite tooth. I’m<br />
obviously inn too deep now, but I think<br />
we all love a good play on words, but<br />
some of us roll our eyes because we<br />
can’t stand the PUNishment.<br />
Valentine’s Day is great for retailers<br />
who take this holiday to heart. I must<br />
admit that I hate the price of candy at the<br />
local stores because they're always<br />
Raisinette! In one store, two guys got<br />
into a real fight. The way I look at it, two<br />
suckers got licked. The tradition will always<br />
continue to be that people in love<br />
send candy & flowers to each other, and<br />
when they eat their candy with both<br />
hands, we should consider them ambidextrose.<br />
The best part of Valentine’s day is<br />
the simple reminder to show others you<br />
care about them. This holds true for businesses<br />
like American Greetings & Hallmark,<br />
whose fate is literally in the cards.<br />
Of all the Valentine’s Day Cards I have<br />
ever received, my favorite was one from<br />
my daughter. It was made of soft leather.<br />
What a suede heart!<br />
As we push through winter and look<br />
forward to spring, a special note to all of<br />
those who I am lucky enough to know<br />
and love: I love you mower today than<br />
yesterday, but not as mulch as tomorrow.<br />
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.<br />
GIVE US<br />
A CALL!<br />
Fully Insured<br />
Free Quotes<br />
Servicing the Mechanic Falls,<br />
Minot & Poland areas.<br />
JMAR<br />
PLOWING<br />
Reasonable Rates<br />
576-4844<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
52<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?<br />
23 Lisbon Street, • Lisbon/Lewiston line<br />
207-353-6100<br />
HOME OF THE 2 YEAR WARRANTY<br />
ON ALL PARTS & LABOR!<br />
(no matter the mileage)<br />
theshopclassicrestorations.com<br />
Let Us<br />
Show<br />
Your<br />
Vehicle<br />
Some<br />
L O VE<br />
this<br />
<strong>February</strong>!<br />
Mike<br />
Smith,<br />
Owner<br />
Costume furnished by Drapeau’s, Lisbon, Maine<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Donna Dubay<br />
& Ted Leclair<br />
“Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.”<br />
– Crystal Middlemas<br />
Will Power<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
A customer in a bakery was observed<br />
carefully examining all the rich-looking<br />
pastries<br />
displayed on trays in the glass cases.<br />
A clerk approached him and asked, “What<br />
would you like?”<br />
He answered, “I’d like that chocolate-covered,<br />
cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled<br />
doughnut and that cheese Danish.”<br />
Then with a sigh he added, “But I’ll take an<br />
oat-bran muffin.”<br />
“The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.” – Pascal<br />
Evan Manocal &<br />
Danielle Shorey<br />
Roses are red, forever true,<br />
we're stuck together like<br />
paper to glue.<br />
Do You Have<br />
Water Issues?<br />
• Lead • Iron • Arsenic<br />
• Hard Water • Other Toxins<br />
We Can Help!<br />
CALL RAY<br />
TODAY!<br />
Ray Hurilla Plumbing & Heating Co.<br />
207-485-7357<br />
RayHurillaPlumbingandHeating.com<br />
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything<br />
outdoors?<br />
Jen Decoteau &<br />
Dan Carpentier<br />
Roses are red, cardinals are<br />
too. We're a couple of love<br />
birds, but that's nothing new.<br />
You have my heart forever,<br />
this is my solemn word.<br />
Can't wait to marry you on<br />
April 23rd.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 53
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
54<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Bernice & Robin<br />
Hanington<br />
Wendy & Peter<br />
Brennan<br />
Roses are red, our hearts<br />
are too. I can't remember a<br />
time mine I wasn't in love<br />
with you, 24 years I still long<br />
for more, your love brings<br />
me peace, happiness and<br />
more. Forever and beyond<br />
you are my love.Thank you<br />
God for what you sent from<br />
above.<br />
Amy Carsley &<br />
Brutus Fletcher<br />
Roses are red, That's what<br />
she said...<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
"<strong>February</strong> makes a bridge and March<br />
breaks it." – George Hebert<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Carley Fournier<br />
& Trevor Brooks<br />
Roses are red, the color of<br />
love. I now know you are<br />
sent from above.<br />
Holly & Alec<br />
Thompson<br />
Tricia & John<br />
Giard<br />
Roses are red, just like<br />
my wine. My hubby is one<br />
of a kind, I'm proud he is<br />
mine. We enjoy each<br />
other, as a father and<br />
mother. Who makes our<br />
family fun? Our daughter<br />
and our son!<br />
ServiceMaster<br />
Franchise Relocates to Auburn<br />
A growing, local ServiceMaster Fire and Water<br />
Restoration franchise recently relocated to Auburn.<br />
The franchise, owned by Steve Cox, moved from<br />
Oxford to a nearly 10,000-sqaure foot facility formerly<br />
occupied by Crystal Spring Water Co. off Washington<br />
Avenue. The new headquarters is more central to the<br />
business’s customer service area, which covers Oxford,<br />
Androscoggin, Franklin, Kennebec and Cumberland<br />
counties.<br />
“We’re delighted to be the newest business moving to<br />
the Auburn-Lewiston area,” said Cox. “The move is a<br />
positive thing for our employees, our customers, and the<br />
businesses and homeowners we look forward to serving.”<br />
ServiceMaster provides 24-hour professional,<br />
commercial and residential cleaning services, including<br />
fire and water damage restoration, mold removal, odor<br />
removal, post-construction cleaning, animal damage,<br />
sewage damage and sanitization, trauma clean-up, floor<br />
cleaning services and whole house cleaning.<br />
Employees also specialize in hoarding cleanouts, and<br />
are the only professional cleaners in Maine trained by<br />
extreme cleaner and organizer Matt Paxton of the reality<br />
TV show “Hoarders”. The filming of a hoarding cleanout<br />
at a Lisbon home will be part of an upcoming episode of<br />
“Hoarders”.<br />
Cox used a Small Business Administration loan to<br />
invest $200,000 in the new location to create office<br />
space, build a second floor on one end of the building,<br />
and expand the parking lot.<br />
A special ozone treatment room was built to remove<br />
smoke odors from home or business furnishings. An<br />
ozone machine generates oxygen molecules with an extra<br />
oxygen atom (O3), and the highly reactive molecules<br />
attach themselves to molecules that generate odor. When<br />
attached, the composition of both molecules are changed<br />
and the odor is eliminated.<br />
The franchise has a fleet of 20 vehicles, five of which<br />
are equipped with water removal systems.<br />
ServiceMaster works with business owners to create<br />
a customized, yearlong maintenance program that fits<br />
their budget. Emergency action plans are also developed<br />
to streamline the communication between managers and<br />
employees, and prevent the loss of business after fire or<br />
water damage.<br />
The franchise is able to manage large commercial<br />
emergency jobs that need more attention quickly as part<br />
of a network of New England ServiceMaster franchises<br />
providing mutual aid. These jobs receive a tractor trailer<br />
of equipment and 40-50 cleaning professionals to get a<br />
school, hospital or manufacturing facility back up and<br />
running in as little as 48 hours.<br />
"Auburn welcomes Steve and his ServiceMaster team<br />
of 30 employees to the community, and appreciates his<br />
significant investment re-purposing a building along a<br />
gateway corridor to the city," said Auburn Mayor<br />
Jonathan LaBonte.<br />
Learn more about ServiceMaster Fire & Water<br />
Restoration online at smfireandwater.com or by calling<br />
207-539-4452. See their ad on page 56.<br />
Why are there five syllables in the word<br />
"monosyllabic"?
I just looked up the word 'apocalypse' in the dictionary. It was quite a revelation.<br />
Come & Enjoy Our Everyday Specials!<br />
MONDAY<br />
75¢ Wings<br />
Cheeseburger Special<br />
$<br />
5.99<br />
25oz domestic drafts $ 3.00<br />
WEDNESDAY<br />
Mexican Day<br />
3 Beef Tacos $ 4.99<br />
Thatcher’s Burrito $ 6.99<br />
$<br />
5 Well Margaritas<br />
$<br />
3 Coronas<br />
FRIDAY<br />
Fish & Chips<br />
$<br />
8.99<br />
Fried Scallops<br />
$<br />
12.99<br />
SUNDAY<br />
12” cheese pizza $ 5.99<br />
TUESDAY<br />
75¢ Wings<br />
Thatcher’s Burger<br />
BBQ sauce, cheddar, caramelized onions<br />
$<br />
7.99<br />
25oz domestic drafts $ 3.00<br />
THURSDAY<br />
Stuffed Peppers<br />
$<br />
5.99<br />
$<br />
4.00 microbrews<br />
SATURDAY<br />
Terriyaki tips $ 10.99<br />
2 Hotdogs w/fries $ 4.99<br />
$<br />
3 Shipyard Pumkinhead<br />
12oz cans<br />
with Mashed<br />
$<br />
5 Well Bloody Mary’s • $ 2 Bud/Bud Lt cans<br />
“A place where family & friends gather for good<br />
food & cheer at great prices!”<br />
Auburn Mall<br />
207-782-2135<br />
Mon. - Sat. 10:30am - 9pm; Sun. 11am - 5pm<br />
Pasta Day – Every Monday!<br />
Spaghetti & Meatballs • Cincinnati Spaghetti<br />
• Shrimp Scampi • Penne Florentine Pasta<br />
• Baked Mac & Cheese<br />
Fun<br />
starts at<br />
5:00pm<br />
Bubble Hockey<br />
Tournament<br />
<strong>February</strong> 16th<br />
Registration open until 2.14.16<br />
1ST PLACE $50 GIFT CARD<br />
2ND PLACE $25 GIFT CARD<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Melody & Jay<br />
VanHerzeele<br />
Roses are Red, Violets are<br />
Blue, We LOVE <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s<br />
and you better, too!<br />
I had plans to begin reading a book about sinkholes but they fell through.<br />
CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE<br />
Scooter<br />
FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED SINCE 1983<br />
I would LOVE<br />
some Valentines<br />
Presents!<br />
We can do it:<br />
• Wheel alignment<br />
& balancing<br />
• Complete brake<br />
work<br />
• Engine tune-up<br />
• Lube-oil-filter<br />
• State Inspections<br />
60 Minot Ave., Auburn • 782-6666 or 783-2026<br />
OUR TIRES<br />
Why do you press harder on the remote-control when you know the battery is dead?<br />
Alan McCann &<br />
Stacy Paradis<br />
Roses are red, the grass is<br />
so green. This is the sweetest<br />
couple you've ever seen!<br />
Denise & John<br />
Gregoire<br />
Brittany & Jamie<br />
Robbins<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 55
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Carrie-Jo & Al<br />
LeBlanc<br />
Matt & Melissa<br />
Verburgt<br />
Roses are red, and quickly<br />
they fade, but my love for<br />
you burns bright, even in<br />
shade.<br />
The only time incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.<br />
600 Center St. • Shaw’s Plaza, Auburn • 784-6766 • www.DaysJewelers.com<br />
Since 1914<br />
Watch Battery Special!<br />
All batteries<br />
Only<br />
$<br />
1 .00<br />
Limit one watch<br />
battery per coupon<br />
Home of Maine’s LARGEST Diamond Selection<br />
Best of Friends<br />
Bubbles & Bella<br />
This has to be one of the most heartwarming<br />
animal friendships ever<br />
committed to film (Google it)!<br />
Bubbles is an African elephant, and<br />
Bella a black Labrador and they live<br />
side by side at Myrtle Beach Safari<br />
park USA.<br />
Workers at the park put out a beautiful<br />
video of the two playing together,<br />
Bubbles the elephant throwing balls for<br />
Bella to fetch and Bella climbing all<br />
over bubbles and using her a springboard<br />
to leap into the water.<br />
We Specialize in Disaster Restoration<br />
EMERGENCY RESPONSE<br />
• Water Damage<br />
• Fire/Soot/Smoke Damage<br />
• Mold Remediation<br />
• Odor Removal<br />
COMMERCIAL CLEANING<br />
• Carpets - Commercial & Residential<br />
• Hard Surface Floors<br />
• Tile and Grout<br />
• Post Construction Cleaning<br />
Meet Our Disaster<br />
Restoration Managers:<br />
Scott Poulin, Melissa Compton<br />
& Bob Myers<br />
Chantelle & Corey<br />
Moore<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, the kids are finally in<br />
bed, sorry babe, I'm going to<br />
bed, too.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
56<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
ServiceMaster Fire & Water Restoration<br />
29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn<br />
(800) 244-7630 • 539-4452<br />
www.smfireandwater.com • www.smcarpetcleaning.com<br />
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
207-783-7039<br />
(That’s not a threat.) It’s a fact.<br />
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST was audited by the Certification Verification Council (CVC),<br />
an independent, third-party reporting audit company. They audit more than 3,700 publications<br />
nationwide. Our audit shows:<br />
2.5 *<br />
80.6% *<br />
58% *<br />
52% *<br />
Readers per edition.<br />
Getting your ad up to 25,000<br />
impressions per month.<br />
National average:<br />
1.75*<br />
frequently purchase products and<br />
services from ads seen in<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
National average:<br />
74.4%*<br />
of our readers have an<br />
annual household income of<br />
$50,000 or more.<br />
National average:<br />
47%*<br />
of our readers hang on to their<br />
<strong>Digest</strong> for a month or more,<br />
giving it coffee table status.<br />
National average:<br />
25%*<br />
It’s Verified – <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> Delivers!<br />
*Source: 2015 CVC Audit Report. Ask to see entire report.
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.<br />
WINTER IS HERE!<br />
We are a professional collision repair and painting facility.<br />
All work is guaranteed! Free estimates!<br />
Janet & Brooks<br />
Beaudoin<br />
COLLISION REPAIR & PAINTING<br />
1111 Center Street, Auburn<br />
207-782-6515<br />
FREE<br />
ESTIMATES!<br />
A sports coat worn on a hike is a real trailblazer.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Danielle Keith &<br />
David Filiault<br />
Your LOCAL Source for Janitorial<br />
Cleaning & Maintenance Supplies<br />
No Minimum Purchases!<br />
Next Day Delivery in L/A<br />
120 Mill St., Auburn • 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com<br />
Eva & Johnathon<br />
Daniell<br />
Jenn & Zack<br />
Maheux<br />
So what is the speed of dark?<br />
71 East Ave. Lewiston • 783-3321<br />
Cassiels.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
58<br />
Monica Greeley<br />
& Dave Turgeon<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
• Hair<br />
• Nails<br />
• Waxing<br />
• Facials<br />
• Massage<br />
• Permanent Hair Removal<br />
• Manicures & Pedicures<br />
• Permanent Make-up<br />
• Microdermabrasion<br />
• Make-up & Hair Extensions<br />
• Facial Peels & Body Scrubs<br />
• Spa & Bridal Packages<br />
We carry<br />
Gift Cards<br />
Available<br />
Karen & James<br />
Degraaf<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, I love my sweetheart,<br />
and I married him, too.<br />
I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone.<br />
I said, "The whole time."
“Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.” — Will Rogers<br />
AUBURN<br />
649 Turner St.<br />
207-330-7081<br />
Open 7 Days a week 7am-10pm<br />
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT<br />
Satisfaction Guaranteed!<br />
Everything You Love For Breakfast!<br />
FREE*<br />
Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner<br />
Purchase any regularly menu entree<br />
and two beverages and receive a second<br />
entree of equal or lesser value FREE<br />
(up to $8.00 value) exp. 3/31/16<br />
Valid Monday-Friday<br />
20% OFF*<br />
Entire Guest Check<br />
(Regularly priced menu items only.)<br />
Valid Monday-Friday<br />
exp. 3/31/16<br />
All You Can Eat<br />
Pancakes!!<br />
thru Feb. 14th<br />
Super Senior<br />
Night<br />
Every Monday & Wednesday After 4pm<br />
FREE<br />
Buy 1 Entree & Two Beverages<br />
at regular price, receive a<br />
second entree of equal or<br />
lesser value FREE.<br />
KIDS<br />
EAT FREE*<br />
Every Tues. & Thurs.After 4pm<br />
*One kids meal per adult entree.<br />
Drink not included. Not valid<br />
with any other discounts or<br />
advertised specials.<br />
Dine in only.<br />
$<br />
5 OFF*<br />
$20.00 or more<br />
Receive $5.00 off of your guest check<br />
when you spend $20 or more.<br />
Valid Monday-Friday<br />
exp. 3/31/16<br />
*Offers are for regular priced items only. Discounts not valid on specialty items and senior menu items. Cannot be combined<br />
with any other offer or discount. Not valid on weekends and holidays. Valid at Auburn ME location only.<br />
“A conservative is a man who sits and thinks. Mostly sits.” — Woodrow Wilson<br />
NEW AUBURN SOCIAL CLUB<br />
7 SECOND ST. AUBURN • 207-782-9039<br />
SUPER BOWL TAILGATE PARTY<br />
(Members only)<br />
<strong>February</strong> 7th starting at 2:00pm<br />
Corn Hole Tournament • Pot Luck Dinner<br />
Half-time Door Prize is a LAPTOP!<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Amanda & Bryan<br />
Rowe<br />
Roses are red, violets are blue, it<br />
took a whole lifetime till I met<br />
you. Together we formed something<br />
special, for I never knew<br />
love like this existed. Together<br />
forever that's what we always<br />
say, to be wrapped in our arms<br />
at the end of each day. Against<br />
all odds we're always moving<br />
forward, a strong team never<br />
being broken. Proof that happiness,<br />
laughter and love is all you<br />
need, the universe truly blessed<br />
us with the power to overcome<br />
greed. So hold your loved ones<br />
and never let go, for the time is<br />
now for your love to forever<br />
show. In a world full of darkness,<br />
we hold the light!<br />
Walter Jones &<br />
Laurie Reynolds<br />
Valentine’s Dance<br />
Free & Open to the public – Join us!<br />
Saturday, <strong>February</strong> 13th • 8pm - Midnight • DJ & Dancing<br />
5:30 Dinner for MEMBERS • 4 course meal • $15pp or $25 per couple<br />
RSVP for tickets by <strong>February</strong> 9th<br />
“There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.” – George Sand<br />
Blaine & Amber<br />
Virgin<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 59
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, falling in love with you<br />
was beyond my control.<br />
Mention<br />
this ad for a<br />
Special<br />
Discount!<br />
Brianna & Andrew<br />
Lunn<br />
Tracy Grondin &<br />
Steve Nadeau<br />
MOTORHOME, RV & AUTO CENTER<br />
Check Out Our Entire Inventory @<br />
WhitedRV.com<br />
Celebrating Our 15 th Season<br />
Right Here on Hotel Rd in Auburn<br />
All Payments Include $299 Documentation Fee,<br />
Sales Tax & Title Subject To Credit Approval<br />
At Whited, “RV” stands for REAL VALUE!<br />
We Want Your Trade!<br />
SALES HOURS:<br />
Mon-Fri 8-5<br />
Sat 8-4<br />
Michelle &<br />
Timothy Mansir<br />
Clair Rice &<br />
Arthur Abbott<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, how I'd get so lucky to<br />
have you...<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
60<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
1-800-235-3613<br />
CALL TODAY &<br />
SAVE THOUSANDS!<br />
2160 HOTEL ROAD, AUBURN<br />
Yes some people claim to enjoy exercise, but then some people claim to have been<br />
abducted by aliens.
An avalanche is snow place for you to be.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Hot Fresh Soup!<br />
Tomato • Chicken Noodle<br />
Minestrone • Chili<br />
Quench Your Sweethearts<br />
Sweet tooth here!<br />
GEORGIO’S<br />
Locally owned<br />
& operated<br />
Made fresh<br />
everyday on<br />
premises<br />
Donuts • Cupcakes • Pastries • Cookies • Brownies<br />
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn<br />
783-2981<br />
Open daily 5am-9pm<br />
www.mygeorgios.com<br />
My wife went out shopping and brought home the escalator. It was marked down.<br />
Terrie Kee &<br />
Kevin Reardon<br />
Roses are red, Violets are<br />
blue... whatever mountain I<br />
climb, I hope it's always with<br />
you.<br />
Heather & Jeff<br />
Wentzell<br />
Chris & Richard<br />
Cavallo<br />
I purchased a microwave bed recently, 8 hours sleep in 10 minutes.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 61
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
“It is not the size of a man but the size of his heart that matters.” – Evander Holyfield<br />
Terina Dobson<br />
& Chad Hickey<br />
Roses are red, Violets aren't<br />
green, He's a perfect 10, If<br />
you know what I mean.<br />
“Affordable Dental Excellence”<br />
New Patient Special $ 88<br />
Includes: Cleaning, Exam, & Xrays<br />
Caring family Dentists & Specialists!<br />
488 Sabattus St., Lewiston • 207-783-8800<br />
www.androscoggindentalgroup.com<br />
Dr. Robert McVety, DMD<br />
I'm here for whatever you need me to do from the couch.<br />
“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” – Thomas Edison<br />
Christina & Richard<br />
Thistlewaite<br />
Bettin’ Big<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
The doctor answered the<br />
phone and heard the familiar<br />
voice of a colleague on the<br />
other end of the line. "We<br />
need a fourth for poker," said<br />
the friend.<br />
Debra & William<br />
Sodoma<br />
Roses are red, but our<br />
fingers are so cold they're<br />
blue... please warm us up<br />
with a hot prize because<br />
our toes are frozen, too!<br />
"I'll be right over," whispered<br />
the doctor.<br />
As he was putting on his<br />
coat, his wife asked, "Is it<br />
serious?"<br />
"Oh yes, quite serious," said<br />
the doctor gravely. "Why<br />
there are three doctors there<br />
already!"<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
62<br />
Kristy & Josh<br />
Robinson<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near<br />
hit to me!
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you<br />
don't have?<br />
The American Legion<br />
FAMILY<br />
OPEN<br />
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 1pm - close<br />
Thursday, Friday, Saturday noon to close<br />
Hall Rentals Available<br />
Call for more information<br />
782-1118<br />
American Legion, William J. Rogers Post 153<br />
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118<br />
Meetings - New Members Welcome<br />
Legion Members: Wed. Feb. 17th @ 7pm<br />
Legion Riders: 1st Thursday of the month<br />
American Legion Auxillary: Wed. Feb. 17th @ 7pm<br />
Son’s of the American Legion: 1st Monday of the month<br />
Activities - Members & Guests Welcome<br />
Super Bowl Sunday Sun. 7 Feb. 7th • 3pm - close<br />
Breakfast Buffet Sun. Feb. 21st • 8-10am adults $ 7 • children $ 4<br />
Karaoke w/ Jean Louis Fri. & Sat. evenings 7-11pm<br />
Join us for LIVE MUSIC WITH:<br />
The Blues Collective Fri. Feb. 26th 8pm - 12am<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Christie &<br />
Jeremy Barth<br />
Rachel Larrivee Massage Therapy<br />
20% OFF<br />
Instant Gift Cards<br />
with promo code:<br />
UAD<br />
Also offering on-site services for<br />
the workplace & home<br />
183 Main Street, Lewiston • 207.754.7707<br />
LewistonMassage.com<br />
Ashley & Matt<br />
Thibeault<br />
Melanie & Brian<br />
Vincent<br />
Roses are red, our dogs are<br />
fuzzy. Our daughter is awesome,<br />
she takes all our<br />
money.<br />
868 Auburn Rd. Turner 207-225-2140 www.northeasternfirearms.com<br />
NOW<br />
OPEN!<br />
Fire Arms, Ammo & Accessories • Gunsmithing on Premise<br />
Buying One Gun or Entire Collection • Trades Welcome<br />
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow,<br />
how cold is it going to be?<br />
Kristina Schmieks<br />
& Nicholas Bickford<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 63
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
“Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends.” – Jesus<br />
Charlene &<br />
Harold Collins<br />
Holly & Joe<br />
Zielinski<br />
Malayna & Rich<br />
Alexander<br />
Roses are red, My baby<br />
wears blue, He serves and<br />
protects, and is loyal and<br />
true.<br />
Tonya & Brice<br />
Darling<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue, my heart is full of<br />
nothing but love for you!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
64<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle
Why did the pig stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Cary Woodward<br />
& Chris Demelia<br />
Roses are Red. Violets are<br />
blue, 16 years together,<br />
that's a lot of I love You's.<br />
<strong>2016</strong> is going to be our year!<br />
Have no fear, I'll always be<br />
here! I love You.<br />
Alan & Ruth<br />
Brousseau<br />
Jennifer & Matt<br />
Hyndman<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue. Together we make an<br />
inseparable two. I gave you<br />
my heart and my hand, With<br />
a vow that will forever stand.<br />
My love for you will always<br />
grow, as long as there will be<br />
a tomorrow.<br />
“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” — W. C. Fields<br />
Kim & John Taylor
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” – Barbara DeAngelis<br />
PAY LESS & GET MORE!<br />
Call us today for a FREE quote on your home and auto insurance.<br />
Bill & Wendy<br />
Barnies<br />
Roses are red, my dearest is<br />
sweet, nothing makes her<br />
happier then when I<br />
massage her feet!<br />
Nicole Lajoie<br />
150 East Ave, Lewiston<br />
207-783-2246<br />
www.maineinsuranceonline.com<br />
I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon.<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Sweet<br />
Hearts!<br />
Christa Belile &<br />
Carrie Dyment<br />
Jessica Newton<br />
& Carl Bloor<br />
Roses are Red, violets are<br />
blue, that's what they say,<br />
but it just isn't true. Because<br />
roses are red, and apples<br />
are too. But violets are violet,<br />
violets aren't blue. An orange<br />
is orange, but greenlands not<br />
green, and a pinky’s not pink.<br />
So what do you mean? To<br />
call something blue when it's<br />
not, we defile it, but ah, what<br />
the heck it's hard to rhyme<br />
violet.<br />
Trisha Marston<br />
& John Acker<br />
Roses are red, violets are<br />
blue... we'd love to win this<br />
sweetheart package, our<br />
fingers are crossed too!<br />
Alisha & Casey<br />
Tilton<br />
Lisa & Mark<br />
Laliberte<br />
Roses are red...and golfing<br />
is fun especially when my<br />
sweetheart scores a HOLE<br />
IN ONE.<br />
Alexis Brandt &<br />
Ryan Crump<br />
Susan Bowyer &<br />
Anthony D’Andrea<br />
Roses are red, the sky is<br />
blue; its is much brighter<br />
when I am with you.<br />
Kelley & Ryan<br />
Guite<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
66<br />
<strong>February</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
"Keep your faith in beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is<br />
gone." – Roy R. Gibson
Show your car<br />
some love in<br />
<strong>February</strong>!<br />
I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex... box 360.<br />
Mon.-Thurs. 7am-5pm<br />
Fri. by appointment<br />
Come<br />
Experience<br />
a Real<br />
Hand Car<br />
Wash<br />
Done the<br />
Old Fashioned<br />
Way!<br />
Yen-Chang Chen, D.M.D.<br />
Dr. Chen and his staff are dedicated to providing a pleasant, stress-free visit<br />
with results that you will be proud to show off.<br />
Visit us at our state of the art office at:<br />
730 Center St • Auburn (Big Lots) Plaza<br />
783-1351<br />
Same Day Emergency Care<br />
We are a preferred Northeast Delta provider<br />
LIQUID<br />
SUNSHINE<br />
CAR WASH<br />
& DETAIL<br />
865 Sabattus Street<br />
Lewiston<br />
333-3004<br />
Hours: Mon- Fri 9:00am - 5:00pm<br />
Sat 8:30am - 4:00pm<br />
auburnplazafamilydentistry.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys<strong>Digest</strong>.com
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