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ottawater: 12 - 8<br />
Carellin<br />
Brooks<br />
Did You Die Last Night?<br />
Wake up. Did you die last night?<br />
Welcome to the age of fears. Sharks in the water? No<br />
sharks, I say, sticking to fact. It’s too<br />
cold. Useless to say so, useless as my<br />
parent’s might,<br />
that once solved everything. Scorpion<br />
sting. Mummy trailing tapes. Real skunks<br />
under the bushes<br />
on the dark walk home. They only<br />
attack when cornered, I explain,<br />
when dogs sniff them out.<br />
Speck of spider<br />
dangles before door. The girls shriek,<br />
cower, even the twelveyear-old.<br />
Mommy. I rise against<br />
their fear, snip spider web<br />
with fingers. There. Make it<br />
briefly safe again.<br />
On the tiny ferry she loved,<br />
huddled now in sister’s arms. I’m scared of the water,<br />
she tells her. I’m scared too, her sister says.<br />
You are going to die soon, she tells me. You and Daddy.<br />
Daddy is old so he’ll die first. You’ll die, she explains. Everyone will. I<br />
confirm<br />
the monstrous fact she is learning<br />
for the first time: that such<br />
is our inevitable fate and we spend our<br />
waking hours pretending<br />
otherwise. I wish I could tell her<br />
she will stay alive forever.<br />
But that would be a lie and<br />
I also pretend I never lie.
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