Surrey Homes | SH18 | April 2016 | Garden supplement inside

BUSS MURTON advertorial
Family Law, the next steps...
I am considering separating from my spouse/partner, how
should we deal with arrangements for the children?
Don’t rush into anything; if possible, try to have a calm
conversation with your spouse or partner, preferably in a neutral
environment and away from the children so that you can discuss
any necessary interim arrangements and how to move forward
in the longer term.
Each family is unique and it is important that you both continue
to communicate to allow you to make arrangements for the
children which suit your family.
Remember that even if you cannot continue to be a couple,
you will always be your children’s parents and they need to be
reassured that this will not affect their relationship with both of
you. Of course a separation will involve upheaval for everyone,
but let your children see that you will both continue to be there
to love and support them and that nothing will change that.
Julie Taylor
Usually it is fairly obvious which parent is in a better position
to be the primary carer for the children and so the discussions
tend to be more concerned with arrangements for the children
to see the other parent. Although there are no set rules which
govern how much time children should spend with the parent
they do not live with, a typical arrangement is for them to
spend alternate weekends with him or her and possibly one
evening or night during the week. School holidays are often
shared equally, if work permits. Obviously a degree of flexibility
in the arrangements is desirable to allow for work and other
commitments. Try to agree how school parents’ evenings,
plays, sports days etc. will be dealt with as these events can
cause children real concern if they fear that there may be an
uncomfortable atmosphere.
At all costs, do not use children as pawns or weapons in adult
disagreements; they need to be protected from these, not
dragged into them.
If you find it difficult to talk to your partner or if you know that
there will inevitably be a disagreement over arrangements,
don’t worry as help is available. Solicitors who specialise in
family law don’t just give legal advice; they should be able to
put you in touch with counsellors who can provide support,
some of whom will even talk to the children to gain an insight
into their feelings and wishes. There are also courses available
which offer practical support and advice to separating parents.
Buss Murton offers a free initial 30 minute meeting to
discuss any family law matter in relation to separation,
divorce and children. We can see you at any of our
offices in Tunbridge Wells, Cranbrook, East Grinstead or
Dartford. To make an appointment please contact Louise
Huxstep, Family Team Secretary on 01892 502 338 or
email: lhuxstep@bussmurton.co.uk
BUSS MURTON
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