UR IT Magazine December 2015

UR
M A G A Z I N E
I
TM
DEC
2015
Now U can
subscribe to
UR IT!
Ur dream
comes true:
THE BENEFITS
OF SHOPPING
Cleveland’s
JAMI KINTON
striving to be on top
R U in Style
for 2016?
DRAWING THE LINE
on co-dependency

CONTENTS
Music is life. ..................................4
The suffocating reality of co-dependency. ..... 6-7
Striving to be on top. ...................... 10-11
Up your fashion game for 2016. ............. 14-15
Why shopping is good for you. .............. 16-17
CREDITS
ARTICLES
Jessica Martin 4
Estefany Castillo 6-7
Adeena Harbst 10-11
Vivian Achieng 14-15
Tiffanie Mora 16-17
PHOTOGRAPHY
J.Clark
Shawna Lee
Tiffanie Mora
HAIR / MAKEUP
Kristie & Tori
EDITORS
Adeena Harbst
Stacy Clark
DESIGN
Taralyn Guenot
Gazette Printers
Tiffanie Mora
GODDESSES OF THE WOODS...
coming in January 2016

3

Music is the epitome of life
experience. No matter
what type of genre a person
gravitates to, it’s safe to say that
a song can capture a memory
and make the memory feel
fresh every time it plays. Music
can inspire and motivate you
throughout your day. It can help
determine the mood you will be
in or how you’ll handle a new
situation. When we celebrate,
mourn, dance, graduate or
even create films, music is at
every turn. When we can’t find
the words to say, a song will say
it perfectly.
The power of lyrics and melody
transcends and is one of the
best gifts we can pass on. It can
directly influence generations.
Just look at the evolution of
dance and entertainment from
the time of our grandparents to
now. Even so, the songs listed on
the top ten lists from our past to
our present can be appreciated
and listened to whenever
we so choose. Ah, thank you
technology! We literally have
access to thousands of songs
at the touch of a button. It’s a
beautiful thing.
We should try to appreciate all
types of music. Surely we can
find at least one song in every
genre that we’d enjoy listening
to. Music is a life-long friend that
forever changes lives. It needs
to be lived, loved and shared. It
can bring peace and happiness.
In this life, what more can you
ask for?
I’ve listed the top 10 songs that
hold a special place in my heart,
to share them with all of you. (It’s
actually 11 because I couldn’t
choose just one by the wonderful
Sinatra.) Enjoy! - Jessica M.
MUSIC IS LIFE
Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen
The Chair- George Strait
Barton Hollow- The Civil Wars
Outta Control- Missy Elliot
The Wedding Song- Kenny G
Ink- Coldplay
I Can See Clearly- Johnny Nash
Human Nature- Michael Jackson
More Than Words- Extreme
The Best is Yet to Come/That ’s Life- Frank Sinatra
4 MUSIC IS LIFE

THE SUFFOCATING REALITY
OF CO-DEPENDENCY
It’s It’s the the feeling feeling of of never never being being
enough enough for for one one person, that that special
someone who who you you so so badly badly want want
to to be be yours. yours. Without them, you you are are
nothing. Without them, life life has has no no
meaning. No No sense of of purpose.
You’ll find find yourself making sacrifices
for for your your partner, and and not not get get anything
back. Ultimately, it’s it’s all all about them.
Most often, co-dependent people
have the the best of of intentions. They
like like to to make people feel better,
hate to to see see people suffer and have
the the role role of of the the caretaker. They
are are the the givers of of the the world. On
the the other side of of the the relationship
is is the the dependent person. This
person will will usually have some
sort sort of of addiction, abuse drugs
or or alcohol. Together, this this couple
forms a a co-dependency, where the the
giver giver is is always taking care of of the the
dependent person.
KNOW THE SIGNS!
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IF YOU ARE A CO-DEPENDENT?
Co-dependents are usually drained from taking care of everyone
else. At At times they’ll feel they are not being authentic to themselves
and have trouble communicating their feelings. They love to take
care of of people, usually being warm and inviting, but the downside
is is that they’ll attract needy, abusive people. Usually having low
self-esteem, they’ll look for validation outside of themselves to feel
worthy. They will find themselves being bored and empty when no
issues arise in in their lives or or there are no people to help. They also will
feel depressed when there is is lack of compliments or validation, and
always think they’re not good enough. The most common thoughts
of of a a co-dependent is is feeling victimized and angry when people
don’t give back. Most will have a fear of rejection, abandonment, or
not being loved. Finally, because they are taking care of everyone,
they’ll lose their sense of of self and their own needs, making them
feel like nothing.
Co-dependency arises during childhood in dysfunctional families. Most
often, a a family member will have an addiction to drugs or alcohol,
or or be be abusive in in a sexual, physical, or emotional manner. Most of
the the attention will go go to to taking care of this family member resulting
6 6
THE SUFFOCATING REALITY OF CO-DEPENDENCY

in the co-dependent repressing
their own emotions. They won’t
confront, talk, or trust anyone.
Dysfunctional families usually
don’t know this is a problem.
HOW DO YOU HEAL IF YOU
ARE CO-DEPENDENT?
The hardest aspect about being
a co-dependent is saying “no”
to someone, because of the
constant need to help others
and because that is how a codependent
person finds their
self-worth. A co-dependent must
realize that they matter, too, and
must learn how to be authentic
to themselves with showing their
true feelings, or take care of their
own needs. They think they are
not worthy of love, and that is
why they will stay in abusive
relationships, hence the quote,
“We accept the love we think we
deserve.” It’s a tough battle worth
fighting, the co-dependent will
learn they too are important, will
meet needs and desires in their
life, and ultimately start becoming
their own person. In order to
heal, a co-dependent must put
up boundaries and have higher
standards of how they want to
be treated. They must also selfnurture
and appreciate oneself,
based on their appearance,
values, morals, and beliefs.
trigger our emotions. Being in tune with emotions is also a way to
know what is right or wrong. Before saying “yes” to a friend who
is asking for help, ask yourself if you are willing to help them or
if there is anything lacking in your life that needs attention right
now. Most important in your life is you! You are the master of
your life, and deserving to have the best one. Use self-reflection
to know when to leave an abusive relationship. Most of the time
you will feel stuck and have no sense of freedom. A destructive
relationship will leave you drained and empty, there is no room
for growth. That is not fulfilling, and whatever you think it is, it’s
certainly not love.
Our journey to acceptance is a practice of
self-love. Know that you are important,
and never give up!
It is possible that this is all
inner work. Unmet needs during
childhood affect how we see the
world later in life. Our parents’
problems can pass on to us
unless we know when to stop
the cycle. That is why it is so
important to use self-reflection
and know how certain situations
THE SUFFOCATING REALITY OF CO-DEPENDENCY
7

8

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814.201.6213
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STRIVING TO BE ON TOP
Model of of the Month
Jami
Growing up, up, Jami Kinton of of Ohio
was was always fascinated by by models
and and actors. Now, she she is is realizing
her her dreams and and is is making her her own
career as as a a celebrity.
“I “I always looked at at entertainment as as
this this sort sort of of untouchable career,” she she
said. said. “I “I had had no no friends involved in in
the the field field and and really didn’t know how
to to get get started. My My parents both both had had
stable, more more traditional jobs, and and
they they didn’t didn’t know know quite quite what what to to think
when when I said I said I I wanted to to model and and
act.” act.”
Jami Jami took took a a leap leap of of faith faith and and
contacted a a talent talent agency when when she she
was was 18 18 and and was was attending Ohio Ohio State State
University, majoring majoring in in Journalism.
Immediately upon upon her her graduation in in
2006, 2006, Jami Jami worked worked as as a a reporter reporter
for for the the Mansfield Mansfield News News Journal. Journal. She She
was was there there until until 2013. 2013.
“I “I was was incredibly incredibly fortunate fortunate to to have have
editors
editors
who
who
still
still
allowed
allowed
me
me
to
to
follow
follow
my
my
initial
initial
dream,”
dream,”
she
she
recalls.
recalls.
So
So
she
she
stayed
stayed
on
on
track
track
and
and
pursued
pursued
opportunities
opportunities
to
to
do
do
what
what
she
she
was
was
truly
truly
passionate
passionate
about.
about.
In a time span of 13 years, Jami
In a time span of 13 years, Jami
has been featured in countless films,
has been featured in countless films,
print ads and commercials for major
print ads and commercials for major
companies like Fisher Price, Chevy,
companies like Fisher Price, Chevy,
Target and Wendy’s.
Target and Wendy’s.
Now at the age of 31, I look back and
Now at the age of 31, I look back and
think about how incredibly lucky I have
think about how incredibly lucky I have
been. And my career only seems to
been. And my career only seems to
be growing,” Jami shares.
be growing,” Jami shares.
Most recently, she has finished her
Most
fifth
recently,
season as
she
an
has
in-park
finished
host
her
for
fifth season as an in-park host for
the the Cleveland Cleveland Indians Indians and and just just picked picked
up up ongoing ongoing work work as as an an actress actress for for a
major major national national brand. brand. At At the the time time of of
this
this
article,
article,
Jami
Jami
was
was
not
not
permitted
permitted
to
to
release
release
that
that
brand’s
brand’s
name
name
per
per
a
a
signed
signed
confidentiality
confidentiality
agreement.
agreement.
Jami
Jami
is
is
being
being
represented
represented
by
by
agencies
agencies
across the country, and is not only
across the country, and is not only
loving the work and fulfilling her
loving the work and fulfilling her
dreams, but is soaking up the endless
dreams, but is soaking up the endless
opportunities to travel.
opportunities to travel.
Besides ringing in work as an
Besides ringing in work as an
actress and model, Jami said she
actress and model, Jami said she
also works extensively on the other
also works extensively on the other
side of the camera in production.
side of the camera in production.
She has worked on several
She has worked on several
reality shows including “America’s
reality shows including “America’s
Got Talent,” “Dance Moms” and
Got
“The
Talent,”
Voice.”
“Dance Moms” and
“The Voice.”
If If that that isn’t isn’t enough, in in September Jami
officially officially started started her her own own company,
Kinton Kinton Media Media Group, Group, through
which
which
she
she
manages
manages
social
social
media
media
accounts
accounts
for
for
several
several
companies
companies
and
and
organizations.
organizations.
“I
“I
started
started
by
by
managing
managing
social
social
media
media
and public relations for the United
and public relations for the United
States Boomerang Team, and merely
States Boomerang Team, and merely
through word of mouth, suddenly I
through word of mouth, suddenly found another career path,” she said.
found another career path,” she said.
“I’ve always shared a love for social
“I’ve always shared love for social
media and this was also a way for
media and this was also way for
me to continue using my writing and
me to continue using my writing and
photography skills.”
photography skills.”
Jami works in promotions for Fusion
Jami works in promotions for Fusion
Marketing, as one of the main live
Marketing, as one of the main live
event hosts. “We do live shows for
event
kids and
hosts.
families
“We do
and
live
I
shows
absolutely
for
kids
love
and
it,” said
families
Jami.
and I absolutely
love it,” said Jami.
10
10
JAMI KINTON - STRIVING TO BE ON TOP
JAMI KINTON - STRIVING TO BE ON TOP

“SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD HAS
ALWAYS BEEN A MOTTO OF
MINE.” - JAMI KINTON
“My life is incredibly busy, but I never say ‘no’ to great
opportunities and have really become a master at multi-tasking
and organization. ‘Sleep when you’re dead’ has always been
a motto of mine,” Jami noted.
Her energy and drive seem endless. But Jami has no shortage
of goals in line. She said she has quite the list planned to
accomplish in the next five years.
“The main ones include achieving a principal role on a sitcom
and a major motion film and publishing a children’s book. I’m
actively working on all three!” she said.
In the mix of everything, Jami keeps up with UR IT Magazine,
which she learned about through a friend who had entered a
model search competition for the magazine last year.
“I began looking into the magazine and loved what I saw, and
thought it would be really fun to be a part of it!”she said. And
UR IT Magazine was happy to have her join the team! This
month, we’re proud to call her our Model of the Month.
“I began looking
into the magazine
and loved what I
saw, and thought it
would be really fun
to be a part of it!”
11

12

13

Do you want to make
a Do fashion you want statement to make in
2016
a fashion
and
statement
be trendy?
in
2016 and be trendy?
If so, ensure that you only buy
what’s If so, ensure in and that only you wear only colors buy
that what’s will in be and the only in-thing. wear colors It is
however that will be important the in-thing. to ensure It is
that however the kind important of fashion to ensure you
choose that the suits kind your of fashion body and you
you
choose
are comfortable
suits your body
in it.
and
you are comfortable in it.
Up Your
Fashion Game
for
2016 Hot Hot Colors
According to to the the Fashion
Snoops Forecast on on 2016 2016
trendy colors, Heirlooms,
Backyard, Desert Bloom Soft Soft
Nostalgia and and Seaside are are
the the 5 5 key key palettes to to don
during this this period. For For neutral
color lovers, desert bloom
2016
Be Be Stylish in in 2016: Hot FashionTrends
Fashion Fashion keeps keeps evolving, evolving, prompting prompting the the need need for for one one to to always always
be be in in the the know know on on what’s what’s in in and and what’s what’s out. out. With With just just 1 month month
left left to to usher usher in in 2016, 2016, designers designers and and image image consultants have have
come come up up with with trendy trendy fashion fashion ideas ideas for for 2016 2016 that that begins begins from from
as as early early as as fall/winter 2015/2016.
offers a new perspective
that that allows the the use of of cool
base tones and refreshing
colors such as as marigold and
persimmon. The seaside
palette is is characterized by
mid- tone colors such as as coral,
bubblegum pink, custard
melon and chartreuse. In
melon and chartreuse. In
2016, aqua and orchid are
2016, aqua and orchid are
now introduced as emerging
now introduced as emerging
fashion
fashion
colors.
colors.
The
The
heirloom
heirloom
palette
palette
is
is
still
still
dominated
dominated
by
by
green
green
and
and
red
red
where
where
red
red
forms
forms
the
the
basis
basis
for
for
the
the
introduction
introduction
of
of
brighter
brighter
ruby
ruby
and
and
dark
dark
burgundy.
burgundy.
Grape
Grape
purple purple is is also also featured featured as as
a statement color color for for 2016.
Blue Blue hydrangea, pink and
wisteria purple are some of
the the important and elegant soft
nostalgia pastels to wear this
season. Lastly, bright statement
colors in in the backyard palette
such as as candy apple, electric
blue and spring green serve
as as the go-to colors for the
confident attention lovers.
Two-Toned Coats
Despite the intense cold in
winter, the need for class
and sophistication cannot be
14 14
UP YOUR FASHION GAME FOR 2016

overemphasized. Two-toned
overemphasized. coats will be the in Two-toned thing.
coats This is a will subtle be the twist in thing. to color
This blocking is a subtle adding twist color to color and
blocking style to how adding people color dress and
style during to winter. how people dress
during winter.
Leather Dresses
Leather Dresses
Whether we like it or not,
Whether fashion has we been like it seen or not, before
fashion and the has new been trends seen just before relive
and previous the new trends. trends Leather just relive
previous
garments
trends.
have been
Leather
there for
garments
decades and
have
2016
been
is
there
the year
for
decades
for leather
and
dresses
2016
all
is the
over
year
for
again,
leather
immensely
dresses
featuring
all over
in
again,
runways
immensely
as must have
featuring
items
in
runways as must have items
for 2016. Pop and rock music
for 2016. Pop and rock music
lovers will definitely love 2016
lovers will definitely love 2016
because it will allow them to
because it will allow them to
express themselves through
express themselves through
different leather designs to
different leather designs to
further complement their style.
further complement their style.
Bomber Jackets
Also Also known as as the the flight flight or or
bombardier jacket, these these
garments were originally
created for for pilots but but with with
time, found their way back
to to the streets. The The beauty of of
these jackets is is their versatility,
looking amazingly good on on any any
outfit whether formal, casual
or or a cocktail dress. Depending
on your preference, you could
wear the all all weather bomber
made of of leather or or buy one
with with refreshed prints prints to to stand stand
out. out. The The bomber bomber cuts cuts through through
different ages ages and and professions,
commonly worn worn by by youngsters
and and 30 30 year year old old stylists, editors,
socialites and and executives. A A
good jacket is is matched by by
complementary shoes and and the the
bomber gives you you a a chance
to to be be as as creative as as possible.
Heels, sneakers, sandals, pumps,
trainers and stilettos all all look look great
when worn with the the jacket.
UP YOUR FASHION GAME FOR 2016
15 15

Have you ever found yourself buying something you
don’t need, to make yourself happy? Do you spend
more when you’re stressed or to relieve your mind
from everyday life? We call this ‘Retail therapy’. It’s
one method of stress relievers that many people use
consciously or unconsciously. It’s the act of buying
yourself a little something to boost your mood when
you’re feeling low, and it is more common than you think.
Everyone has a time when then just need to shop.
This can be due to something in your life that makes
you feel this way. And the best part is that shopping
can make you feel better in a helpful way. Not saying
to us this as an excuse to spend your money but
every so often if you feel you have been through a
trying complicated time or if you have done nothing
but work you should be able to go out and do some
shop therapy.
Sharing these moments can be great with friends and
even doing it alone is good too. Shopping is a way
to express your creativity and seek out new things that
make you happy. Whether if it’s shopping for clothing
or candles your bond to have a smile on your face
with you wear that stylish outfit or burn that romance
setting candle.
1. When you look good, you feel good
Buying things you like makes you feel better. Duh.
Whether it’s clothing related or interior design focused
or simply just a pair of socks, you’re purchasing an
item to improve upon your current situation. This
feels right. This feels new.
And those magical high-waisted jeans that suck in
your FUPA after a Sunday Funday of Chinese takeout
makes you feel spectacular (and not to mention 5
pounds lighter). When you believe that you look
great in your outfit, your emotions follow suit.
2. Shopping is a celebration
After a super hard day at work scooping up the latest
must-have leather jacket makes you feel like your
paycheck is all worth it. Or maybe you’re stressed
at home and need to blow off a little steam… from
your wallet.
It’s called “Treat Yo’self” for a reason — because
retail therapy helps us cancel out all the frustrating,
upsetting parts of our day. Took Grandma for her
annual colonoscopy? You deserve a bracelet.
Have to endure a brutal Thanksgiving? You need a
new sweater. Shopping makes dealing with problems
a little easier when you know there’s a reward for
coming out on the other side.
16
WHY SHOPPING IS GOOD FOR YOU - BY TIFFANIE MORA

3. We buy new things to signify transition
To prepare ourselves for new experiences, we
purchase the necessary items. If you’re anxious about
moving away to college, you decorate your new dorm
to feel like home.
Shopping for a baby gets you in the diaper frame of
mind and ready for your baby’s arrival. A new outfit for
a date boosts your self-image. Through our purchases,
we mentally ready ourselves for what lies ahead.
6. It distracts you from failure
Failing sucks. Shopping eases the pain. When you
underperform on a test, instead of reaching for the booze,
you reach for the shoes. As winter creeps in and you
become lazier, shopping is your new cardio. Stuff can’t
replace success, but it sure does ease the blow of losing.
http://elitedaily.com
Everyone has days where they need to spoil themselves
every once in a while. Just don’t make it an everyday
thing that is a completely different topic. Just shop when
you need an uplift it helps and is lots of fun.
4. It’s some good ‘ol me time
Shopping is 97 percent of humanity’s favorite hobby,
(I hear Putin really loves his fur hats). You can spend
time with yourself and your money and focus on the
things we are told shouldn’t really matter.
Retail therapy is a release and it’s fun. Not to sound
like a vapid person, but looking at beautiful things
makes you feel beautiful by association. Just look at
Winona Ryder. She got too close.
5. It’s actually science
Researchers at the University of Michigan Ross
Business School (Go Blue!) found that both the
shopping experience and the choices we make while
we fill our carts help relieve residual sadness.
Good news for shopaholics everywhere, going to
Bloomingdale’s and buying a ton of trendy items will,
in fact, cheer you up! (It’s probably like, 1,000 times
that happiness when you find a coveted over-theknee
boot at a warehouse sample sale.) Even if
you’re a dad whose shopping habits extend as far as
gloves on sale at Costco, you still get the little tingly
feeling inside.
WHY SHOPPING IS GOOD FOR YOU - BY TIFFANIE MORA
17

18

UR world
R thoughts
I recently got out of a controlling
Q
relationship. My friends want me to go
out with guys they know and they say
are great guys. I just kind of want to
do my own thing for now. They are afraid I’ll
go back with him if I don’t meet new people.
I’m confused and not sure what to do. Is any
direction better than the other?
A
Dear Confused,
First of all, I wanted to applaud you
for leaving a controlling relationship!
Controlling relationships, by definition,
are often difficult to leave, and successfully
ending this type of relationship is no easy task. It
sounds like your friends care about you and are
supportive of your decision, and their pushing
you to date new men may be their way to help
keep you safe and avoid falling back into the
trap of your previous relationship. However wellintentioned
your friends may be though, it is
clear you are not ready to begin dating right
now. To answer your question: the best direction
to go towards is the one that feels right for you.
Rather than dating new men, your time might
be better spent taking some time for yourself,
healing from your past relationship and learning
about what healthy relationships look like so you
can be better prepared and present in your
next relationship. Working with a therapist on
this, even briefly, could be very helpful.
Good luck!
Christy Beck,
B eck Psychotherapy
UR WORLD R THOUGHTS
19

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