BeatRoute Magazine B.C. print e-edition - July 2016

ating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets
by Michelle Hanley
Lululemon on Robson City Hall The Juice Truck Store
Lululemon requires no introduction. I recently paid a visit to this
Vancouver-based, yuppie yoga retailer’s flagship location, just to poop.
When Lululemon founder and local villain, Chip Wilson, said that
some women shouldn’t wear their clothing he was talking about
people who looked like me. Further evidence that absolutely nothing
in this store was made for me was proven in the store’s bathroom
where the toilet seat hilariously broke under the weight of my very
large body. Despite being body shamed by their toilet, I was very
impressed with the bathroom here. It is decorated with messages
of posi-vibes on the mirror and there’s also a sign that says “I just
awesomed all over the place,” which is a weird thing to put in a place
where people poo and pee. It was relatively clean, but there were a lot
of pubes in the Dyson Airblade and that was pretty gross. Namaste.
City Hall is a beautiful art deco building on Cambie Street
where people go to pay parking tickets and property tax. It is also
where Mayor DJ Gregor Robertson conspires to turn everything
into condos.
The bathrooms at City Hall did not disappoint. They were very
clean and well maintained. There was obviously a dual flush toilet
and a compost bin for used paper towels, #greenestcity2020. The
stalls in this bathroom were so spacious, I think the city could
benefit by turning them into hip, microsuites and rent them out
on Craigslist or Airbnb, especially now that we’ve reached peak
housing crisis. Bathroom en suite. Close to transit. Located on
a bike route and near a Whole Foods. No smoking, no pets, no
parties.
I don’t understand cold-pressed juice. Why anyone would spend
upwards of 9 dollars on an artisanal, locally sourced, spike in blood
sugar is beyond me. But people are buying it as The Juice Truck has
evolved from a simple truck into a fancy brick and mortar storefront.
The bathroom at this place is super cute. You must pass through
a sea of yoga moms with fancy strollers and tech bros on MacBooks
who somehow can afford a $12 dollar acai bowl and also a down
payment on a home in the Olympic Village, but it is worth the
journey. The bathroom is adorably pineapple themed! Pineapple
wallpaper and pineapple art and even a pineapple garbage can. It
is super clean and a great place to poop when that kale smoothie
inevitably goes right through you.
UNCOMMON
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July 2016
6/27/16 10:59 AM