Have you been in a bad relationship? Or are you venturing into the relationship arena and you are wondering how to be more aware?







What Is Udada?

You are beautiful and capable

Change how you view yourself

When she wins, we all win

Change how we view each other

Our daughters need space to thrive!

Change how society views women and girls





1. Healing women to women relationships

2. Developing Spiritual Confidence in women

3. Inpowerment and Empowerment

4. Light the Udada candle of other

women by spreading the Light of Hope

Inpowerment is your new language

#UDADA is our new culture



The Dadiary

From A Guy’s Heart;

Why I went silent on you

With Oyunga Pala

I am not a mind reader, he knows that,

I know that but why won’t he talk to me?

This is not one of those cases where two can play the

game. I am not the type of person who goes quiet,

even my high school class prefect got tired of writing my name in the

noisemaker list, it became automatic incase the teacher passed by to ask

who has been talking in class. So my going silent on him because he just

went on silent on me isn’t an option I can pursue, but as much as I want

him to talk to me I also want to understand why he went silent in the first


You can imagine my relief when I went to register for the next Udada

event and realize that was the same thing they were going to talk about,

only that they had thee Oyunga Pala talking about it. I know him to talk

to the men about women and I am curious on what he has to say to us

about the men. And well, he does have his sense of humor so I might end

up laughing my man drama away.

When the day finally comes and I check in at All Saints Cathedral,

my excitement is at its brim and everything is just background until he

takes the stage, and boy did my ears just develop antennas! Oh and before

I move on to what I learnt on Why men go Silent, let me mention his

voice hmmmmm….



So, according to The Modern African Guy, it all boils down to how our

African men are socialized. Men have learnt from an early age to express

their love through actions. He will avoid talking because he is afraid of

being vulnerable or saying the wrong things that might escalate the

situation. To women; honesty is the best policy, whereas to men; silence is

the better option!

The trick here is to understand how your man communicates and to

realize that you cannot make him talk. But he was also quick to add,

“If a man can’t step up to communicate, save yourself the trouble and step

out.” Men never quit. They never make it formal. Their silence is a sign

that things aren’t going to be better and they hope you figure it out

somehow without them having to necessarily talk.

Mothers give their sons so much leeway as they grow up. Sometimes

men get into relationships looking for their mothers: to always let them

get away with mistakes. Therefore, it is important that to have standards

and clear boundary lines when getting into relationships, and to not give

discount cards once the lines are crossed.

Although men are affected by the noises in their head, they rarely work

hard to improve their inner self; he will focus a lot on provision and

security that he will go chasing after business deals and career

improvement but that. Not to forget that they are taught to always drop

pick-up lines when dating which prevents them from opening up to talk

about other issues that may be disturbing them.

One thing that was coming out clearly was that his silence has nothing to

do with me and no amount of worrying whether it was something I did

or did not or said and did not say was going to make him talk.

Our Next Gathering will be on

6th December 2016

Get your E-ticket @




Ephesians 5:14

14 Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,

Arise from the dead,

And Christ will give

you light.”



John 8:12

Then Jesus again spoke to them,

saying, “I am the Light of the world;

he who follows Me will not walk

in the darkness, but will have

the Light of life.”

John 14: 6

Jesus answered,

“I am the way

and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father

except through me.”

Psalms 119:105

Your word is

a lamp for my feet,

a light on my path.




AGING GRACIOUSLY- Organically Ofcourse

Most people don’t know the difference between

organic food and conventiol ones and in most cases

we assume they are organic. Ngina Ndolo,

Founder and CEO Kapu la Afya shares more on this.

I am amazed every time I visit my grandmother as

I always find her tending to something in her

garden. Her strength amazes me and as

embarrassing as it is to say, I can hardly keep up

with her. She says she was born during a great famine and speaks of a

time when dance and food was plentiful, her stories sound so fairytale

like but the expression on her face clearly tells that they are real

My grandmother grows most of her crops and rears her own animals.

I tried once to “educate” her on the advantages of using fertilizers and

chemicals on her farm but she would have none of it. “Manure from my

animals works just right,” she said. “But grand ma, that way you can have

more produce and make more money from your farm,” I retorted. My

child, it is not about making more money, she said in a calm voice, it is

about taking care of my health and my soil as well.”

I read once that you are what you eat, sounds familiar? This statement

is so true for my grandmother and her peers. Just because it is fresh and

looks great does not mean that it is healthy and nutritious for you.

She does not know this, but my grandmother is an organic farmer.

Organically grown crops are grown in the simplest way, hence take longer

to grow which allows them to absorb the required natural nutrients for

growth and so retaining their disease fighting properties which are health

giving to our bodies.

How then can we tell apart organic fruits and veggies from conventional




•Your insect friends:

Spotting worms and insects or bites/ holes on

your vegetables, fruits and cereals is a good

sign as this means that they have no or minimal

chemicals on them. And one rule of thumb to

follow with greens is this: after washing them

well, give a final rinse of salt water for two-three

minutes.This helps remove germs and residue.

•Appearance and Size:

Organically grown vegetables

and fruits differ in sizes.

•The smell taste:

The aroma and texture of organic is totally different.

Organically grown fruits have a very strong


Eating healthy is not a privilege for the rich; it’s a conscious choice you

make on a daily basis. Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.













14 “You are the light of the world.

A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

15 Neither do people light a lamp and

put it under a bowl.

Instead they put it on its stand,

and it gives light to everyone in the house.

16 In the same way, let your light shine

before others, that they may see your

good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.



Awake, awake! Put on your strength,

O Zion; Put on your beautiful garments,

O Jerusalem, the holy city!

For the uncircumcised and the

unclean Shall no longer come to you.

Shake yourself from the dust, arise;

Sit down, O Jerusalem! Loose yourself from the

bonds of your neck, O captive daughter of Zion!






•To women; honesty is the best

policy, whereas to men; silence is

the better option!

•If he doesn’t step up, step out.

•No discount cards once the

boundary lines are crossed.

•The only way you can lift someone

up is by being Strong yourself

To order your copy pass by inquiry

desk or call 0717 304 120





Dear love longing woman,

From the ladies who attended the last Love Restoration Weekend

“Love will work for you when you allow yourself to receive it in other ways

than you have always prescribed and let him offer as he knows best’.

Love Beatrice

“Love is sweet, only if you can understand it. Love is everywhere, only if

you can see it. Love exists, only if you believe. Love thrives, only if you

nourish it. But, learn to love yourself, and then you will enjoy it”.

Love Betty

“The pain you have experienced in your journey of seeking love, need not

define your future. Love is right under your nose. Come and see how and

why it is possible for you to find it”.

Love Emma

“The love restoration program has given me clarity on what love is and its

purpose in the intimate spaces. Myths and truths of what love were made

clear to me. I have also understood that love is all around me and I need to

love myself enough to allow myself to receive that love. I have the

power to give, receive and relish love. I am becoming a woman true to

herself and who can enjoy love in my true form. Sexuality is important

to me. I am free to be sexy and enjoy sex. This is an experience that has

brought clarity and liberation in me. I have also come to a realization that

love is also letting him be him in his own way. This was a beautiful

experience that all women should go through.

I am me and I am proud to be me”.

Love Kathy

To register for Love Restoration, 3rd - 4th December

Call +254 717 304 120




They called me a serial dater

(Aidah Alabastron Season 27)

I learnt about Alabastron for the first time a couple of years back but

never really bothered to know the details. Fast forward to last year, my

friend, who has been a strong advocate of the program in our group

of friends, finally convinced me. I attended the open day and I knew I

had to sign up there and then.

My friend had said it will help me rediscover myself, bounce back, deal

with issues and situations I have been avoiding but necessary that they

are addressed.

At first I thought it was a place for counseling women with alooooot of

issues. I knew I needed help but I did not think my issues were

Alabastron level. LOL.

In the past two years I had been jumping from ‘relationship’ to

‘relationship’. I had had about 8 short relationships in two years.

All of them left me devastated, angry and sad, a good friend of mine

even called me a ‘serial dater’. I really didn’t want this to be my destiny

as I was just a girl seeking love in all the wrong places unknowingly;

it’s not that I had planned for each of these not to work out.

But I also remembered the saying if it happens once maybe it is him

but if it hasn’t worked out eight times……maybe it’s you. I knew I was


contributing factor but couldn’t quite pin point what the issue was and

there is where I needed help discovering and bouncing back.



My approach had been to jump to the next available relationship to

make up for the one that did not work out so I do not have to

explain the break ups. At some point I realized I never used to u

pdate my friends if it didn’t work out so some would think I am still

dating X, some would think I am dating Y, some Z it was even hard

for me to keep up with knowing which friend thinks am dating

who so I don’t confuse stories…..

all this to save face.

The few that I told I informed them of what bad people the guys

were so they can give me the ‘you dodged a bullet’ talk and justify

my actions but I knew they were not all bad….some, but not all.

I really yearned for a happy thriving relationship.

Through the process of Alabastron, I have discovered the role I was

playing in making things not work out and the attributes I needed

to work on. I was also able to regain self-appreciation.

Most importantly I regained my confidence in God in the issue of

marriage and settling down so that it has been much easier leaning

on him and trusting His ways and not mine.

I am now able to let go and let God.

I can guard my heart so I do not self-sabotage.

I can sit back and wait to be wooed knowing I am a queen.

I have learnt to be still and follow God’s leading and not be


I feel God is using Alabastron to redeem/give answers and

directions to relationships of all forms. If you are experiencing

something close to what I have been through, I recommend you

Come and learn what God has for you and see Him deliver you to

new heights. Bounce back and live a fulfilled life as God intends for






wkward! Situation


Ciru’s crush

just kissed me!

I recently went out with my girls to pity

party about our singleness that is

slowly turning into a disability according

to WHO and we bumped into Kevo that

kamatual crush of ours who make us

drool even when our mouths are dry.

You see Kevo is one of those guys who

turns head including men’s’.

We have nurtured this crush since our internship days but Ciru’s

crush turned into a love story; she even knows where they will

spend their honeymoon and the names of their three babies.

The problem comes in because Kevo has been hitting on me and

not Ciru even after continuously telling him that Ciru has feelings

for him. Its soo hard to speak of him as the topic when we meet

because I always feel guilty about it and now it’s more weird that he

is asking us how we are doing with his hands on my hair.

Because he is in a hurry he asks me to fikisha him at the door coz

apparently he has something to tell me.

As a good friend and crush we laugh it off and I stand up to show

him off. I hug him goodbye at the door but he returns my hug with

an unexpected kiss, I step back quickly but kina Ciru are staring!

I slowly walk back to our table wondering what I should tell them.

Read the advice from U-aunties in the next page





Girrrrrrrrrlll I hope you kissed him back or you

are picking your clutch to follow him.

Check your pockets he might have dropped his

house key. This is your chance, pounce on it! Or remain forever

single but keep in mind Ciru is not going to marry you.

Put yourself in Ciru’s shoes, first you need to Aunty,

come clean that he has been hitting on you for U-Nice

sometimes now and apologize because there was

no way you knew could have known that he was

going to kiss you. After all you have been telling him to back off.



Tell Kevo that you would bring up the topic with

your girls and he should come out clearly to Ciru

about his feelings for you and inform her that

they can only be friends.

This will make it easier between you and your girls

but also in case you decide to pursue a relationship with him,

let him take the responsibility and take the lead.

Want advice from the U- aunties?

Share your awkward situations via email to






The ‘long’ holiday just started and you are probably wondering what to do

with your teenage girls? It’s two months and your girls don’t have to get

stuck watching TV or playing video game all through. And just before you

send them over to Ushago for the Christmas holiday, we got a way we can

add lasting value into their lives and equip them to be discerning adults.

Enroll them for the upcoming Princess Princessa from 14th to 19th

November 2016 or 4th to 9th December and watch them become confident,

fun, focused and with a healthier self-esteem!

The Princess Princessa program is tailored for teenage girls

(aged between 12 to 18 years) and is a wholesome and holistic 5 full day

program that looks into the SEVEN life defining choices:

-Loving God, my faith and my family

-My worth and self-esteem (my Devine Code of identity)

-My values and value-based friendship

-Holistic success and assertive expression in school

-Healthy boundaries and life disciplines

-Sex, sexuality and dating

-Healthy lifestyle and conquering addiction lures


November 3rd for November program and

November 30th for the December program

For enquiries call 0719504104





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