FATAL ATTRACTION

So, according to The Modern African Guy, it all boils down to how our
African men are socialized. Men have learnt from an early age to express
their love through actions. He will avoid talking because he is afraid of
being vulnerable or saying the wrong things that might escalate the
situation. To women; honesty is the best policy, whereas to men; silence is
the better option!
The trick here is to understand how your man communicates and to
realize that you cannot make him talk. But he was also quick to add,
“If a man can’t step up to communicate, save yourself the trouble and step
out.” Men never quit. They never make it formal. Their silence is a sign
that things aren’t going to be better and they hope you figure it out
somehow without them having to necessarily talk.
Mothers give their sons so much leeway as they grow up. Sometimes
men get into relationships looking for their mothers: to always let them
get away with mistakes. Therefore, it is important that to have standards
and clear boundary lines when getting into relationships, and to not give
discount cards once the lines are crossed.
Although men are affected by the noises in their head, they rarely work
hard to improve their inner self; he will focus a lot on provision and
security that he will go chasing after business deals and career
improvement but that. Not to forget that they are taught to always drop
pick-up lines when dating which prevents them from opening up to talk
about other issues that may be disturbing them.
One thing that was coming out clearly was that his silence has nothing to
do with me and no amount of worrying whether it was something I did
or did not or said and did not say was going to make him talk.
Our Next Gathering will be on
6th December 2016
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DADAZINE
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