UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION

dadazine

We bring into life some of the unspoken uncomfortable conversations you have been dreaming or fantasizing of having. You haven't had them yet simply because you don't know where to start!

Dadazine

Vol.2 December Issue 3

REFRESH YOUR LIFE

Siritual Condence etreat

Come away with me…

Next level U

Casual doesn’t

mean drub

What is your Sisterhood

Legacy this Christmas?

Step Up For Our Girls

U-Verse

Then you will shine

among them like stars in

the sky

The Dadiary,

Fatal Attraction;

Of dangerous men and the

women who attract them

U-wkward! Situation

Is there a right

way to start?

U-turn

Issues??? Yes? No?

Mhhh!!! A roller

coaster of emotions...

UNCOMFORTABLE

Can this (1) conversation end the drama?

Get your online copy at www.udadaglobal.org

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What Is Udada?

You are beautiful and capable

Change how you view yourself

When she wins, we all win

Change how we view each other

Our daughters need space to thrive!

Change how society views women and girls

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UDADA

Pillars:

1. Healing women to women relationships

2. Developing Spiritual Confidence in women

3. Inpowerment and Empowerment

4. Light the Udada candle of other

women by spreading the Light of Hope

Inpowerment is your new language

#UDADA is our new culture

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The Dadiary

Fatal Attraction

Of dangerous men and the women who attract them

This got me hot feet from the moment they started advertising,

I felt like I should have been at the venue waiting for the day to

come! The conversations teasers were soooo me,

finally someone got me! My friend Koffian was wondering what

the hype was all about; to her a dangerous man is a physically

abusive man. But for me, I knew, I had experienced a dangerous

man but not in the physical manifestation.

I had dated one dangerous man after another hadi to some point

I thought someone had cursed me and died, dooming me to an

eternity of unhappy relationships. I crave for stability and

reliability when it comes to a relationship but somehow I end up

with drama and the type of guys who fall me SMH!!! God forbid.

Not that I am that choosy or anything but please can I get my

prince charming already!?

So, I walk into All Saints Trinity hall all dressed up like I am going

on a date, except Udada is not there! And instead of the smiley

ladies with the pink flowers, I am met by men in black. Hold up,

did God answer my prayers of prince charming that first?

Ummmmh, maybe not, so I check my phone to

confirm if it is exactly Tuesday or somehow my

excitement managed to get the best of me.

I ask one of ‘them’ and he directs me to the

other side a ‘St something’. Which I realize

I had passed in my haste to meet this

Ian Isherwood guy, today’s speaker.

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Ulalallala ladies! The speaker is definitely as yum as advertised.

His eyes are enough to bring the fisilet out of any woman.

How am I even going to concentrate while my mind is wondering

if he is single and how he likes his coffee, does he take it white or

black? Anyway as he starts speaking about Fatal Attraction,

I have to catch myself because I was a victim, right there and then.

Question is, is he dangerous?

You can never be 100% sure about someone but there are red

flags you can look out for before you are swiped away into the

dreamy world of love. But first, you have to understand and accept

yourself. Because if you are clear on your values and what ticks

for you, then you won’t feel the need to constantly compare

yourself to others and when that prince charming finally walks

through the door you are confident on what you want.

The best relationship you can have is with yourself. Sounds cliché,

right? But coming down to it, if you are insecure and have no clear

boundaries or values then anyone can look like prince charming

to you, it is easy to be convinced to try out some things in a

relationship that are completely not you. So to start with,

make a list of why someone should date you. Know who you are

and what you can offer in a relationship.

His mind is as yum as his face or maybe I am just hearing what

I want to. This is why you need to attend Udada for yourself, as

much as there is the Dadiary and Dvds but this raw experience is

something else entirely. Ian also shared the importance of

listening to your friends and family opinion about the guy you are

seeing because they might be able to see things about him that

you can’t. Yes, I know, we don’t like being told that the guy we are

falling for headfirst isn’t good for us, but I think ‘I wish I knew’ isn’t

anyone’s cup of it either!

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As Laimani came on stage for part 2 of the evening to talk about

how to manage if you are already married to a dangerous man, a

kind of burden that I did not know I had carried was lifted up. See,

one thing about dating a dangerous man, they make you think that

you are the one with a problem.

It would be much easier to tell you to pack and leave if you are

married to a dangerous man, but walking away is not a snap

decision. But, you would know if a lion is about to pounce on

you. Duck, this is not the time to be a strong woman. Your time to

be vocal will come but when the lion is resting, take this time to

express yourself, be firm and clear.

Danger is clearly in the eyes of the beholder. Who is a dangerous

man to you could mean a totally different thing to someone else.

Some pointers though on who is a dangerous man; an addict, a

man without hope, without a vision, with nothing to lose, without

accountability or without regard to human life and dignity. A

bored man is a dangerous man and most importantly a perverted

man is a dangerous man.

And while we are on the subject of who are the dangerous men, it

is in order to distill some myths about them. Power, wealth, great

looks and short are not some of the qualities of a dangerous man.

Our Next Gathering will be on

7th February 2017

Get your E-ticket @

www.udadaglobal.org

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Ephesians 5:14

14 Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,

Arise from the dead,

And Christ will give

you light.”

U

DA

DA

Verses

John 8:12

Then Jesus again spoke to them,

saying, “I am the Light of the world;

he who follows Me will not walk

in the darkness, but will have

the Light of life.”

John 14: 6

Jesus answered,

“I am the way

and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father

except through me.”

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SPIRITUAL

Confidence

RETREAT

With Laimani Bidali

We will learn and practice:

Why I attend the Spiritual Confidence

by Caroline Gacheru

• Importance of personal retreat (come away)

You know, I did not start by sitting down and making a list

of why it made sense for me to start attending the fellowship so

• Bible-based meditation

when I was asked this question I drew a blank. However, I know

that I am not impulsive. • Fervent I analyze Effective everything prayer sometimes even

what I want to say general conversations so I knew there must

have been a


series

Hearing

of things

&

that

Listening

I had considered

to God

and probably

did not realize.

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not

even have The first a chance one is to I chose eat, he this said fellowship to them, and “Come not any with other me by is yourselves

because I trust to the a people quiet place and the and organization get some rest.” behind it.

I have attended a number of Mark programs 6:31run by the Alabastron

Network Trust and from each and every one of the sessions;

I have experienced a mixture of acceptance, love, calling out and a

Limited spaces

resultant growth that I have not encountered anywhere else.

So I knew, in my heart of hearts, Date: that 17th if I want Dec 2016 to read my bible,

pray every day and grow, should Alabastron ever have a program

that is in any way related to this, Time: I wanted 7.30am to – be 5.00pm a part of it.

The second one is very closely

Venue:

related

a

to

retreat

the first

centre

one.

in

I

Karen

chose

(tbc)

the fellowship because again from

To book

experience,

call 0717

every

304 120

tool

/ 0733

I was

900 701

equipped with in Alabastron programs, I am able to use in life.

What I would like you to understand is these programs are not

CONTACT like school ME FOR where SCR after the exam you find yourself ill equipped to

handle the mix that is life, work, relation-shits, finances and

NAME:................................................................................................................................................

PHONE:.............................................................................................................................................

EMAIL:...............................................................................................................................................

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(insert here what is currently driving you up the wall).

Because of my experience, I had faith that with the fellowship

I will be able to add God into that mix.

Speaking of adding God into the mix brings me to the third

reason why. While participating in the programs, I realized that I

was that lukewarm Christian that God spits out of His mouth every

morning, noon and night. That pains me just to write it. I was also

convicted by something someone said once “How sad it would be

if you never fully committed to anything in your life”.

So I decided that this one relationship, with God, is what I

needed to fully commit to. It needed to be identified, jerked up,

jump started and built anew.

The fourth reason why. (ala, kumbe there are many reasons!)

Everything that we have unlearned and learned has impacted me

in ways I cannot even begin to comprehend. For instance,

I had never been a person who can sit in an argument about

spirituality, God or religion and not feel conflicted about the

discussion. I would feel so powerless because I had nothing

deep, meaningful to say and would find myself feeling angry why

can’t I speak up? Why can’t I say anything? Why did I not think to

say that? The fellowship has enabled me to be present in such

a discussion without losing faith in the path that I have chosen;

without being critical or judgmental of those in the discussion and

even retains friendships.

The fifth reason is part of why I keep going back every month.

Slowly, the fellowship has enabled me to have a healthier

appreciation of the church that I attend. The fellowship does not

replace my Sunday service attendance. Instead, when I attend the

fellowship, my Church service experience is richer. From the

fellowship, I have learned to read the bible to understand what

the author was trying to say, appreciate what was going on during

that time, apply it and allow the word to transform me.

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At Sunday service, I am able to apply all those things in the series

that the church has and thus gain so much more from attending

Church service than before.

The sixth reason is that I am now able to read my bible privately.

Before, I would read it because either I am in church or there is a

meeting of friends from church and so I would look for a relevant

verse to share. Or maybe I am at a place where the bible is being

read and so I read it. The fellowship has provided me with an

environment that has enabled me to see that reading the bible is

not just to amass information so that I can drop a ka-verse here

and there in my conversation. It has helped highlight and

underline what has always been missing. It has helped me be able

to reach for it by myself.

Finally, the fellowship gives me a chance to hang out with ladies

that I love and admire that are my friends. Imagine that! We talk.

We laugh. We talk some more. We laugh out loud some more.

(I have shed one or two tears too but mine are just here). Then

someone says something deep that makes us pause and ponder.

And then the time flies by very fast and we say bye for half an

hour. And then I go home having had such a wonderful time .........

on my day..... with my friends.

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U

DA

DA

Then you

will shine among them like stars

in the sky

Verses

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Philippians

2:13-15

Amplified Bible

(AMP)

13. For it is [not your strength, but it is] God who is

effectively at work in you, both to will and to work

[that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the

longing and the ability to fulfill your purpose]

for His good pleasure.

14. Do everything without murmuring or questioning

[the providence of God],

15. So that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and

guileless, innocent and uncontaminated,

children of God without blemish in the midst of a

[morally] crooked and [spiritually] perverted generation,

among whom you are seen as bright lights

[beacons shining out clearly] in the world [of darkness]

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#UDADA DVD

YOUR

ACTIVATE

SELF WORTH

with Laimani Bidali

www.sisterhoodglobal.org

ACTIVATE YOUR SELF WORTH

Highlights

• Get out of the pity party club

• Learn to ask, never say someone’s

No for them

• At what point do you terminate

the deal and walk away?

• Behind every No there is a Yes

To order your copy pass by inquiry

desk or call 0717 304 120

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Next

Level

Casual doesn’t mean drub

Wondering what to wear this

festive season? Grace Maina

shares on some ideas on

how to rock those casual

outfits.

Ladies it’s that time of the year

again! Trees and lights are going

up everywhere and you won’t

miss a billboard spreading the

Christmas vibe. You can also

begin to spot those SALE signs

that all women love.

(Who doesn’t love a great

bargain)?

The festive season is a time to

share with family and friends

the warmth and love of Christ,

through the spirit of Christmas.

Sometimes it becomes a

challenge figuring out what

exactly to wear for Christmas.

You are probably meeting up with the

family upcountry or having a picnic with

friends or even going out of town on

vacation. Wherever you may be at this

particular time you still want to look

fabulous.

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Unless you are going to a cocktail party or attending a wedding

you want to be as comfortable as you can get because for some

reason the sun finds its way out when we least expect.

So how about we talk about what you’ll be wearing this festive

season? I believe if you’re going for a family get-together you

want to be modest but still have fun with your outfit while at it.

A sundress would be a perfect bet to that family gathering.

Get one that isn’t too reveling and with a decent length.

Off shoulder outfits are the rage at the moment, how about you

get one out. They are making some beautiful Ankara tops and

you can pair that with some shorts for that picnic or road trip.

If you’re on vacation, either on the beach or in the wild you can

bring out the flowy maxi dress will be super appropriate and

comfortable. Pair it with sandals and a cute headband to bring

out some Bohemian style.

Whatever you decide to wear throughout this season comfort

is key, and remember style isn’t complicated, it’s only as simple

as you decide to make it. Have an absolutely beautiful festive

season and spread love and light to every person you come

while at it.

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-Turn

Issues??? Yes? No? Mhhh!!! A

roller coaster of emotions...

(Lily Alabastron Season 27)

I heard about Alabastron from my friend

Faith in June 2016 (who has not done the program).

Her opinion was that it helps women with problems learn how

to deal. Hahahaha! She made it seem like it was a therapy for

women with ‘issues’. But I came to learn later on that an

experience becomes an issue when handled wrongly.

I mentioned it to my mother who had been told so much about

it by her friend Khadija who had gone through the program.

Khadija was very positive. She told me that it is a program that

helps women learn about themselves and how to influence. A

place to equip and guide women on how to know what is important,

how to handle challenges and every day experiences

that come up. I believe it was not my time, but when l was told

about it, at that point in my life, l was ready to try anything to

get unstuck.

I think I was entangled (learnt the value of this word in

Alabastron) in a lot of things that did not make me a better

person or add value to my life. I enrolled in search of peace.

My life was just ‘MATHOGOTHANIO’ (kikuyu word that best

explains ‘mixed up’). I was at breaking point, a walking person

following a routine but not really living.

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I had prayed and when nothing was answered l just stopped

praying! Then l blamed God for all my problems and hid

behind my job. Someone once told me l lost myself and l was

living people’s lives instead of mine. I never went back to see

her. So when I joined Alabastron I was hoping to sort out my

life, find the missing link that had made my life crumble.

and nowhere

in my wildest

dreams would

l expect this to

be the core of

my problems

for Him in my life.

One of the things I realized during

the program was that my

relationship with God was not

right (and nowhere in my wildest

dreams would l expect this to be

the core of my problems).

I had put him aside after going to

campus and slowly,

I stopped experiencing His love

and favor. I did things my way.

Yes l went to church once in a

while but l never acknowledged need

My experience during the 2weeks was powerful. A roller

coaster of emotions. The first week was tough!!! I wanted to

run away at some point…!! But that was my turning point.

Hahaha! But I am also very grateful to my friend Sally for

following up and pushing me to do this program, l would not

have made it to class. I had a lot going on but l managed to

put everything aside to be there for myself.

Right now, I can see. I can breathe. I have this peace that

l cannot explain. I feel like I am in control of MY life. I can

choose what is important and what is not, l can influence, I

can enjoy my SELF. I am happy. I am living life, not just being.

I make decisions that are healthy for me. I chose what to let

into my heart.

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It was also so amazing to discover my purpose (I did not know

this could be done. I thought some had purpose and others

were just escorting people, now l know.) I have been able to

forgive people who hurt me. And from this I created space for

God. The core of my heart had been filled with hurt, pain, anger,

bitterness and resentment. I feel liberated. I have given God

His space back in my life. And from this l see things from the

right perspective. It’s like clearing a blocked nose, or seeing

colors for the first time.

OH yes and discovering my body shape! Hahhaha I am slowly

changing my wardrobe to suit my body type and express my

joy.

Call- 0719 504 104

www.alabastron.org

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wkward! Situation

Mum, I need

to tell you

something.

“Would you like another cup of tea?”

I ask. This is the third cup of tea I am

offering her. I have to keep her occupied.

I had all this planned out, I knew

exactly what to say and how to say it but

now looking at her, I am just drawing a

blank.

She is so excited about my upcoming scholarship in Australia that

she can barely notice my nervousness. I cannot believe that I am

the one to wipe out that smile off her face, maaan it hurts even

thinking about it.

“No, thank you, I actually have to get going” she answers to my

request of another cup of tea.

No, no, no she can’t leave, if she leaves that’s it. I have to tell her,

this is my chance. “Mum, I need to tell you something.” I start,

but then I meet her eyes and freeze.

How do I tell this woman that has so much faith in me that I am

not going to make it for that scholarship she has been so excited

about? How do I even tell her that I am pregnant and there are

no wedding bells either because I also broke off my engagement

with Alex?

Which of course she will ask why I broke it off, how do I tell her

that I cheated on my fiancée and I am not sure who the father of

the kid is?

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For how long am I going to teach you these things? You haven’t

learnt a thing! Why does your mother need to know about your

break up with Alex? I can’t believe that you are even

considering telling her about the baby daddy dilemma, who

does that?

Aunty,

U-Crazy

Kwani how old are you? If I were you, I would

focus on the pregnancy thingy it kinda covers

everything. “I am pregnant”. All it takes is a 3

letter sentence, what is the big deal there?

Wait until she leaves then text her that you are pregnant; She is in

a hurry after all and might not process the

information well. If she doesn’t reply or come

to your house, give her a day or two to process

then call her. If she doesn’t pick, show up and

inform her that you need to talk. Aunty Crazy is

right this one time, your mum does not need to

know aboutthe break up or the baby daddy drama.

It would tear her in pieces.

Aunty,

U-Nice

Aunty,

U-Wise

This is a delicate situation, first if she is in a hurry

to leave, this might not be the right time to bring

this up. Ask her when she is available for an hour

or two you would like to have an important

conversation with her. If she insists that you tell

her what it is, tell her that you will not be able to

go to Australia for the scholarship because you are

pregnant and you would like to have the baby before you

proceed. You are still eligible for the scholarship and you would

further it in a year or so.

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