The Good Life – July-August 2015

OVERSTAYING
YOUR WELCOME
Learning How to Kick Yourself Out First
BY: MEGHAN FEIR
t
here is a fitting time and
place for overstaying your
welcome. The time: never.
The location: nowhere.
Whether you are the unwelcomed
party or the frustrated host held
hostage, read on, my frustrated
friends.
The Unwelcomed
Where you lack in social cues, you
thrive in your ability to annoy. You
are the guest, much to the chagrin of
the wearied hosts, and you somehow
grew up with no social intuition.
Never fear, though. You, old dog, can
learn a new trick or two by the time
you have finished reading this article.
Notice I chose the word “reading,”
not “grazing.” Take this message to
heart, for your own sake and the sake
of others.
Whenever you hear the other guests
uttering, “Welp, I think we’d all
better head out,” follow the crowd.
Make a dash for your car as if the
clock has struck midnight and your
Ford is about to turn back into a
pumpkin.
If the host is remarking on how
tired they are, how early they have
to rise the next day and that they are
moments away from retiring for the
evening, take it as a sign that you have
already overstayed your welcome and
must leave in haste.
Do not let it get to the point of the
host having to bluntly state, “You
need to leave.” I have had to do
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