Issue #1 Notes - If - E - Zine

Permission granted to make copies of this issue for personal use only. 

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Table of Contents 

Introduction by Charles Shaver………………………………………………………….. 3 

Cover Art Gallery & Notes………………………………………………………………. 4 

Issue-by-Issue Story Notes……………………………………………………………... 16 

A Map of Zalam’s World……………………………………………………………….. 21 

Future Marine: Being Notes About the Universe of The Sarge………………………… 22 

Getting’ Iffy…………………………………………………………………………….. 27 

Published by Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing in August, 2008 

If – E – Zine is trademarked and © copyrighted 2008 by Charles Shaver. All rights reserved. Permission is 

granted to make copies of this issue for personal use only. For all other uses: No part of this publication 

may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, 

mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author(s) 

and artist(s). Contact me at ifezine@gmail.com. 

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Introduction 

When I published the first issue of If – E – Zine I was twenty-six years old. I’ll be 

thirty-two this December. Then the Iraq War was a mere five months old; now it’s five 

years old, on-going with no end in sight and a political hot topic. Then Georgia was a free 

democratic state; four days ago they were invaded by Russia. Then I lived two blocks 

from the beach in Maui and loved barbequing ahi steaks; now I live in one of the most 

impoverished, violent cities in the nation and consider myself lucky in I’m able to buy 

jelly to go on my peanut butter sandwiches. 

Through it all has been If – E – Zine (among other things). This ezine has 

expressed my fears and joys. It has given life to the places I’ve lived and the people I’ve 

met. It has inspired me to work on other projects. It has been very personal yet very 

public. Lastly, it has been fun. 

I hope to say that again, five years from now. 

If – Errata: The Official Fan’s Guide to If – E – Zine features notes about the 

content of the first twelve issues from the first five years of If – E – Zine. 

First up we take a look at the art that has graced the covers of those twelve issues. 

I originally published the ezines as simple clickable web pages and included notes on the 

cover art. I stopped doing around the fourth or fifth issue. I describe the cover art here, 

their meanings and inspirations. 

Next up is notes about the stories that have appeared in the ezine. This gives an 

unprecedented behind-the-scenes look at what inspired the stories of If – E – Zine. 

Then comes a map of Protuculus, the world in which our sword & sorcery hero 

Zalam lives in. It’s a primitive map, but it should give you a better idea of the geography 

that Zalam travels through. 

After that is a multitude of notes about the universe of The Sarge. Included in 

these notes is a listing of military ranks and weapon schematics. 

The last feature is an article called Getting’ Iffy in which I discuss the origins of 

Iffy the Ifreet, If – E – Zine’s new mascot! 

Enjoy If – Errata. 

Thanks to all my fans and friends for five great years, 

~ Charles Shaver 

editor & creator of If – E - Zine 

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Cover Art Gallery & Notes 

Issue #1 Cover Art 

I have to admit, I had the cover done before the actual content within the first issue. As 

such, the cover in some ways influenced the story “The Mists of Tomorrow” more than 

the story influenced the cover. The robot is obviously designed based upon the infamous 

Robby the Robot. The robot was hand drawn in black marker, then scanned and colored 

and altered in Photoshop. Below the magazine’s title is text that reads “presented by 

Forlorn Productions.” This was to be the name I was going to publish under. It has since 

changed to Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing. 

Issue #2 Cover Art 

This cover was inspired by the cover of an issue of This Magazine is Haunted, a series of 

comic books by Fawcett Comics. I find the covers to This Magazine is Haunted far more 

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delicious than many other horror comics. This cover for the ezine was entirely hand 

drawn in ink and painted with watercolors. Only the text was digitally added later. I was 

battling through a great deal of illness at the time of drawing this and wasn’t sure if this 

cover was going to suffice. In the end, this remains one of my favorite covers for 

If – E – Zine. 


I spent the day at the Wailuku library drawing this and using books about animals and 

jungles as reference points. This was entirely hand drawn, except for the text, colored 

using Prismacolor colored pencils and black marker. I don’t think this is the strongest 

cover, but it definitely has some character of its own. The jungle scene with the snake 

references the jungles of Dakkaran featured as the setting in the short story “The Sarge” 

that appears in this issue. The snake eating the rat was meant to be an element of 

foreshadowing of suspense. 


This is actually a still from a video I made many years before I began publishing If – E – 

Zine. I set up a Tyco camera in front of the TV. The camera was plugged into the TV and 

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pointed it at the same TV. That’s how the repetitive hand was achieved. The camera was 

essentially taping itself taping my hand and the TV. Make sense? Haha! The text was 

added later. I used this as a cover for two reasons: 1.) I wanted to express a more ‘science 

fiction’ cover than previous covers (the previous two didn’t have many science fiction 

elements) and 2.) I wanted a quick and easy solution as I was concentrating on the stories 

within the issue. All I had to do with this cover was slap on the text and I was done. 


Issue #5 was the second annual Special Halloween Edition. I knew I would need a cover 

that expressed the Halloween-themed content within this issue. Again, as with issue #4, I 

was concentrating largely on the content of the ezine and not the cover. I wound up 

digging out this old painting that I had done many, many years before (in high school!). 

It’s simple acrylics on Bristol. The border and text were added digitally. The black 

squares were added later to hide white spots where the painting had aged. A year or two 

later I realized the cover was much too dark and the reaper figure could barely be seen, so 

I lightened it which brought the black squares forward. I decided to leave them not so 

much due to laziness, but to refusing hiding my mistakes and failures and show others 

and remind myself that If – E – Zine is a growing, learning thing. 

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Sadly, I was looking for another easy cover. I also wanted something that could point 

more towards science fiction and less from fantasy or horror. In the end, I scanned my 

hands and Photoshopped the image until I got a bright, neon-like abstract cover. Is it me, 

or do you also see a weird dinosaur creature? I do, and did almost immediately. That sold 

me on using this as the cover. 

Issue # 7 Cover Art 

I had just moved from and was trying to work on the ezine and other writings to escape 

some of the heaviness of the move. This issue’s cover was hand drawn. The jack-olanterns 

were colored using Prismacolor colored pencils. The tree and ground and 

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ackground were all colored digitally. The glow from the jack-o-lanterns was also done 

digitally. The text was added later. This was the third annual Special Halloween Edition. 

Issue #7 Alternate Cover 

This was originally the cover I made for issue #7, but while I found it to be quite dynamic 

it is also quite simple. By this time I had a history of nearly brushing off the cover and I 

wanted to break myself of that, which is why I drew the one with the jack-o-lanterns. 

This alternate was a simple thing to do. Scanned my hand and filled it with a 

paintbucket, colored the background a deep red and erased some parts of the hand to 

make holes. It was fun, but I did it all in about two or four hours. 


This is an actual photograph I took while in London in 1998. If I remember, this is an 

outside shot of the Salisbury Cathedral at night. The glow from within is largely 

candlelight. The eerie wavering glow can be explained as slow film speed at night or… 

perhaps something… more? Haha! I had wanted to use this photo long ago, but hadn’t 

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quite provided myself the opportunity. I had been researching magazine covers quite a bit 

and decided to interweave the title of the ezine with the spires of the cathedral to make a 

more dynamic cover. The text was added digitally. 

Issue #8 Alternate Cover #1 

This was one of the original pieces I made for the cover. It’s simple. I started with an 

orange background, Photoshopped it to give it its wavering looked. Then I realized 

there’s practically a skull in the center of the wavering background. Can you see it? So I 

blocked out the bottom and sides in black and duplicated the skull and jack-o-lantern 

motif on the ground. The entire thing is digital imaging. 

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Issue #8 Alternate Cover #2 

Within the pages of issue #8 is the story “Simple Simon”, a story inspired by the 

farmlands of Michigan. I thought about depicting an eerie old barn on the cover and 

wound up doing this. This was completely Photoshopped. 


This was the very first cover I made for issue #8. The ghost was hand drawn, scanned and 

colored digitally. The text was added later. 

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I was afraid using the photograph of the cathedral was another easy fix for me. After the 

entire issue was done, after the cathedral cover was done, I drew this and colored in 

digitally. Obviously, it’s a picture of Frankenstein’s monster. In the end, I went with the 

cathedral cover. 

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This is the first appearance of what would become Iffy the Ifreet. The skull in top center 

of the cover was taken from a photograph of me in a skeleton costume taken the previous 

Halloween. I blacked out the eyes. This cover was inspired by the poster art for the 

classic horror movie Bride of Frankenstein. In the original poster, the brown face on the 

lower left here was the face of the Bride and the orange and green stripes here were the 

stripes of her hair. The skull here was the face of Frankestein’s monster. This was the 

first issue that I published under the name Black Swan with Atom Bombs Publishing. 

This was all digitally done. 

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Issue #9 Alternate Cover 

This was actually the original cover for issue #9. This was hand drawn and colored, 

except for the background that was colored digitally. The text was added later. I wound 

up not going with this cover due to its rather crude look. 

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Issue #10 Cover Art 

Here is issue #10, the first issue to be published in If – E – Zine’s triumphant fifth year! I 

wanted to return once more to a science fiction-like cover. I drew the rocket by hand. The 

colors were done digitally. The title was done to replicate the title of the old Amazing 

Stories magazine titles. I wanted to go with a polished, streamlined, simple yet dynamic 

cover. I think I achieved that in some respect here. 


This is the first issue I use the now standard font for If – E – Zine. This cover was done 

entirely in Photoshop. It depicts the masked face of Tad Manly, the hero of “From Here 

to the Stars!” which debuted in issue #10 an can be read in issues #11 and #12. 

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And there he is… Iffy the Ifreet! This is the first time Iffy graces the cover of If – E – 

Zine. Iffy is me in costume. I photographed this myself. The horns on his head were later 

Photoshopped on and the background replicates a rising sun. 

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Issue #1 Notes 

Issue-by-Issue Story Notes 

The Mists of Tomorrow 

I have to admit I wasn’t sure where I was going with this story when I first started 

writing it. I wanted to have something solid to start things off more than anything. A 

complete story from beginning to end. I simply wanted to get it done and I wanted 

something in the science fiction genre. What I wound up with was something that crosses 

over into horror or fantasy (with the grandfather trying to warn his family from beyond 

the grave). This story is also largely reminiscent of War of the Worlds, the classic H. G. 

Wells story first published in Hugo Gernback’s now infamous Amazing Stories 

magazine. I’m not overly proud about this one. It’s a decent story, but I’m more proud of 

it for having gotten it done and offering it in the premiere issue of If – E – Zine. 

The Mighty Grar 

I had originally intended for If – E – Zine to be a magazine of many medias. That 

included comics. The Mighty Grar was the first – and to date only – comic to ever be 

featured in the ezine. I took inspiration from my love for E. R. Burroughs’ Tarzan and 

Hanna-Barbera’s classic Saturday morning cartoon Thundarr the Barbarian to make Grar. 

He was essentially meant to be a primitive, caveman-like hero set in a fantasy world. I 

had intended to take his adventures into space. Can you imagine? A caveman in space! 

Not the greatest idea, but a fun one. If cavemen can sell car insurance, they sure as hell 

should be able to travel into space. 

Chamber of the Sun 

As I state within the first issue, this is an old story I wrote as a kid. It has obvious 

tips of the hat to Lovecraft and can be seen as an expression of pre-teen angst about being 

caught in a world that you can’t control. I thought it would be fun to look back to see 

where I’ve been as I started the ezine. Maybe I should publish more of my old tales? 

Issue #2 Notes 

Reflections 

When I first launched If – E – Zine, I wanted to feature the work of other artists. 

That includes cover art and stories. Issue 2 features, “Reflections”, the only story written 

by another person. Crispin Carlos Bonilla is a good friend of mine. He’s an artistic sort 

with a penchant for horror. So when I decided to do a horror-themed issue for Halloween, 

it was natural that I ask Crispin to write for me. He didn’t disappoint. This is a classic 

example of his work. 

Redcloud 

As I prepared the first Halloween Edition, I wasn’t sure what I should write. I had 

tackled a few speculative things before, but never quite a straight horror story. I wanted 

the challenge of trying something new. I wound up taking inspiration from Native 

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American folktales that I grew up with and created my own morality play… so to speak. 

Redcloud isn’t my best work, but it’s definitely unique within the webpages of If – E – 

Zine. 

Issue #3 

The Last Stand of King Zalam 

I’m a big fan of Conan the Barbarian. I wanted to create my own sword & sorcery 

tale for If – E – Zine, but knew I had to come up with something new. I’m also a fan of 

John Norman’s Tarnsman of Gor, a novel often called a member of the sword & planet 

sub-genre. It made me wonder, however, why we insist upon making heroes on other 

worlds humans. I get that we can relate to humans since we are, but a good writer should 

be able to make any character, regardless of race or planetary origins, a likeable hero. Out 

of this stream of thought came Zalam, the alien ruler of Protuculus. 

Zalam’s visage was inspired by another alien race I created for a roleplaying 

game I was making in high school that used two pairs of arms and hands, one pairs being 

used to tear flesh from their prey while the larger arms extended out into giant claws used 

to pierce thick armor. Zalam is a bit less frightening than this, but the main idea is there. 

Once I finished “The Last Stand of King Zalam”, I realized I really enjoyed 

writing for this character. I knew almost immediately I would write more tales about him 

within the pages of the ezine. Four years after his debut, Zalam has appeared in five of 

the twelve issues of If – E – Zine. Do I smell a book forthcoming starring Zalam? 

Perhaps… one day. 

The Sarge 

In 2002 I read Dan Abnett’s Warhammer 40,000 novel First & Only. He has since 

written several more novels set in the 40K world. The novel made an impact on me. I was 

already a fan of military science fiction, but I had only ever been exposed to movies and 

video games. Since then I’ve read Starship Troopers, will soon read The Forever War 

and plan to read and write many more. 

Out of my interest in military sci –fi came “The Sarge.” I wrote this while quite 

sick and realized after writing it the story was too damned long. It covers nearly thirty 

pages, single-spaced! Since then I’ve adopted a flash-fiction ethic to If – E – Zine. If I’m 

about to write a long story, I’ll simply serialize it over the course of several issues rather 

than publishing it all in one. 

Since this debut of The Sarge, he has appeared in four issues and will appear in a 

fifth this October as Part 4 of “Rescuing the Dead” will be published in this year’s 

Special Halloween Edition. Will there be a novel in the Sarge’s future? I can honestly 

say: it’s in the planning stages. 


Zalam of the Mountains 

Zalam’s immediate return! Here I take inspiration from R. E. Howard’s “The 

Frost-Giant’s Daughter” to delve a little more into Zalam’s psyche. It’s a short story, but 

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a triumphant one for me as it is the first time a character makes a second appearance 

within If – E – Zine. 

Slaughter Me Gently 

I have a confession to make, if this tale isn’t already too thinly veiled. This is a 

very personal story for me. I’ve never really gone hungry, but I’ve had my troubles 

keeping up with money. It’s not due to mismanagement, but simple lack of money. I have 

been poor for a time, working my ass off writing and promoting and trying to sell myself 

and my works. That’s what this story is about: doing whatever it takes to get by. It’s life. 


The Screaming Jungle 

Halloween had crept up on me this year, thus resulting in a single tale for the 

second annual Halloween Edition. “The Screaming Jungle” is a reaction to the movie The 

Ghost and The Darkness released in 1996 about the Tsavo man-eaters. The story is about 

two lions that go on a man-eating rampage, based on true events. My story was a reaction 

to the Eurocentric attitudes displayed in that movie. When the hunters arrived to kill the 

lions, they damned near spat in the face of the locals who refused to challenge the 

animals, stating that part of their traditions held the lions’ attacks were due to the angered 

spirits of nature. That is, if my memory serves me. 

While the Tsavo man-eaters were eventually killed by these hunters and, if I 

remember, are now stuffed and on display at a museum in Chicago, I still hold that local 

traditions have value and wisdom. The locals within the movie were viewed as 

superstitious idiots. 

Well, we are all descendants of superstitious idiots, the ones that didn’t take the 

wrong chances at the right times and survived. Out of this came “The Screaming Jungle”. 

Issue # 6 

George, 2055 

I’m surprised I even got issue 6 published. Less than a month after publishing this 

issue I was on a plane moving about five thousand miles from Maui to Michigan. This 

issue featured two stories I first tried to sell to the Magazine of Fantasy & Science 

Fiction. Both were rejected. The first was “George, 2055”. This was another story about 

poverty and lack of medical care. In 2004 I paid $1100 out of pocket for some dental 

work I needed because I don’t have dental coverage. It’s a reaction to the fact my 

country’s apparent decision that medical health and physical well-being is a luxury. I 

never knew I was so socio-political. 

Orby 

This was inspired by a scientific magazine article discussing programming the 

emotion of fear into robots, stating that fear is a major driving force behind dutiful work 

and learning. Orby’s tale is more about jealousy sparked by fear of being replaced. Can’t 

we all say we’ve felt that at one time or another? On the job? In a relationship? 

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The Seldom Seen 

Before I moved to Michigan I realized I simply cannot escape Ray Bradbury 

when dealing with science fiction and wonder tales. Knowing he had come from the 

Midwestern United States, when I moved to Michigan I decided I should start reading 

more of his stuff. Prior to this I had only ever read Fahrenheit 451. My next read was 

Dandelion Wine. His style is infectious. I think that can be seen in “The Seldom Seen”. 

What a Weird, Weird Night 

This poem was written after a 3 AM awakening. I had just moved here to the Flint 

area and was sleeping on the floor. I was borrowing my nephew’s TV. I bought a desk 

and a lamp so I could write. I still have the desk and lamp. And a larger desk. I used a 

kitchen storage table, a small one, as my TV stand. I had a bag of clothes. That’s it. It was 

at the desk at 3 AM I wrote that poem. I thought I heard footsteps on the concrete stoop 

outside. The house was a rental on two and a half acres. The winds blew fiercely around 

that house in the Fall. What a weird, weird life I have lived. 


Simple Simon 

I can’t say I appreciate everything Michigan has to offer, but I do appreciate the 

Autumns here. And the farmlands. And the love of the land. From this appreciation I 

wrote “Simple Simon”, a story about a farmer with a love for Halloween. 

Skin from Flesh, Flesh from Bone 

All three of the stories featured in this issue were written some time in early 

Spring. Rarely am I able to write so far ahead of the date I intend to publish. This story 

was an attempt to capture the many mini-cultures within a single setting. I hope that 

comes through. 

The Tale of Uncle Jonah 

This story was based on my own travels through the Ozarks on a dark night 

during the Fall of 1995. We were driving from California to Michigan to attend my 

grandmother’s funeral. I also wanted to create a story that tips the hat to the traditional 

ghost story and urban legends oft told around campfires on dark, cold, weird nights. 

Trucking has been a major source of income for many of my family members, by the 

way. 

Issue # 9 

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A Bit of Chocolate 

Here’s another issue that I wrote way in advance. By this tim ein If – E – Zine’s 

history I realized I had a good deal of horror-related stories but not a lot of standard 

science fiction stories. Out of this was born “A Bit of Chocolate”. This story was inspired 

by my readings on the subject of schizophrenia and similar mental disorders prompted by 

my research and reading of P. K. Dick’s works. Dick is well-known for his cerebral, 

touching tales of identity. “A Bit of Chocolate” stems from that. 

A Touch of Rust 

This is one of my favorite stories within the many issues of If – E – Zine. 

Originally born in my mind as a possible short movie about a boy and his grandfather in 

Maui where development is so overwhelming it’s disgusting, I changed it into somewhat 

of a science fiction tale. I do so love nature. I don’t mind progress, but I just don’t 

understand this almost hatred of trees I see from a lot of people. It’s as if trees themselves 

have become the weeds of society. when a friend came for a visit in 2007, he commented 

on the abundance of trees here in Michigan. He said he could drive all day in Southern 

California now and see only two or three trees. Is that truly progressive? 

Hunter of the Dead 

A good friend of mine hates zombie stories. I know, I know. I was outraged, too, 

and challenged him to give me a reason. His reason was simple and effective: all zombies 

stories are the same. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. 

I have to admit there was some truth in his words. Not ALL zombie stories are 

true, but contemporary zombie stories (say in the last two decades or more) do genuinely 

lack in originality. 

As such, I decided to combine two of the things I love most: Vikings and 

zombies. As a result, I wrote “Hunter of the Dead”. I’m sure I’ll write more zombie tales 

in the future. The undead are people, too! 

Issues #10 - #12 

From Here to the Stars Parts 1 – 3 

I love wrestling! There, I said it. It’s out of the way. One of my favorite styles of 

wrestling is lucha libre, pioneered largely in Mexico. Among my favorite wrestlers are La 

Parka, Shannon Moore, Paul London, AJ Styles, Abismo Negro, Octagon… well, there 

are many. I had wanted to write a space opera harkening back to the likes of Flash 

Gordon for a while. It seemed only natural to marry the over-the-top entertainment of 

lucha libre with the over-the-top highly stylized genre of space opera. “From Here to the 

Stars” is the result. 

Captain Destiny & The Creature from Atrius-99 Parts 1 – 3 

I love kaiju! This story had its first paragraph written sometime around 2004. 

when 2008 came around and I knew I wanted to publish a series of issues to celebrate the 

fifth anniversary of If – E – Zine, I delved back into this story and flesh it out, adding 

kaiju into the mix. Who wouldn’t love discovering a planet filled with giant monsters? 

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Rescuing the Dead Parts 1 – 3 

The Sarge is back in this serialized tale picking up where the original story left 

off. My main purpose in this story was to flesh out the universe in which he lived. 

Zalam in the Lost City of Adul-Ra Parts 1 – 3 

Zalam is back in his third tale, “Zalam in the Lost City of Adul-Ra”. Somewhat 

inspired by an old Herculoids episode, Rasiki-Ha came to life more than a year ago. The 

yellow legal pad it was written on sat on a shelf until earlier this year. 

A Map of the World of Zalam 

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Future Marine: Being Notes About the Universe of Sergeant Dalius 

Drake as Seen in the Original Short Stories “The Sarge” and 

“Rescuing the Dead” by Charles Shaver 

Ranks and Officials within the Gregor Military Complex in Descending Order and 

the Corresponding Units an Official of that Rank Can Lead 

Overlord 

The leader of the main political body and commander-in-chief of all the Gregor armies 

and navies. Currently this office is held by His Exalted Worship Overlord Hrakkuris. 

Star Lord and Lord 

A Spacelord is the commander of a space navy while a Lord is the commander of an 

army consisting of planetary forces. The two are the same in rank, neither being the 

superior of the other. Spacelords are the equivalent of admirals in contemporary world 

navies while Lords are the equivalent to generals. 

Star Baron and Baron 

A Baron and Star Baron generally commands a faction of an army or navy. In the army 

these factions commanded by a Baron is called a Lance. In the navy they are called 

Spears. 

Star Knight and Knight 

Star Knights are charged with a unit in the navy called a Javelin while Knights are 

charged with Battalions. 

Command Marshal, Field Marshal and Star Marshal 

Marshals command a unit, both in the navies and in the armies, called a Company. 

Command Marshals are generally charged with the overseeing a base of operations 

planetside. Field Marshals command their company from the field rather than from a base 

and can accompany any planetary unit from squad to company. Star Marshals generally 

command three or four ships in space with one of their ships being under their direct 

command (the other ships being commanded by other officers). 

Lieutenants and Captains 

While Captains command a ship in a navy, Lieutenants command a unit called a Spear 

(generally three to four Squads). Lieutenants can accompany any single squad in the field 

or all squads under their command or they can command from a base. Often, however, 

they are found in the field. 

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Sergeants, Drill Sergeants, Command Sergeants, First Mate, and Flag Mate 

Sergeants are generally the main commander of squads. Drill Sergeants are charged with 

the training of new recruits. Command Sergeants can oversee all other sergeants and can 

be found in the field. First Mates are the personal advisors to Captains and command all 

other Mates. A Flag Mate trains new star sailors. 

Corporal 

A Corporal can command one or two other soldiers at most. Second Mates, of which a 

ship may have several, can be charged with many various duties and command a squad of 

star sailors. 

Over Privates, Privates and Star Sailors 

Over Privates can command only Privates. Star Sailors and Privates make up the meat of 

the armies and navies, being the most numerous and lowest ranks. These are the dogs of 

war, grunts and common soldiers. 

Units in the Gregor Army in Descending Order 

Army = 5 to 6 Lances (48,000 to 207,360 soldiers) 

Lance = 4 to 5 Battalions (9,600 to 34,560 soldiers) 

Battalion = 10 to 12 Companies (2,400 to 6,912 soldiers) 

Company = 10 to 12 Spears (240 to 576 soldiers) 

Spear = 6 to 8 Squads (24 to 48 soldiers) 

Squad = 4 to 6 Soldiers 

Weaponry of the Gregor Army 

Pulse Laser Rifle Variant 1xa (not pictured) 

Call Number: PLR-1xa 

Nickname: “PLR” 

First Appearance: “The Sarge”; Issue 3 

Caliber: Combination of 10mm recoilless and laserfire 

Payload: 200 rounds of 10mm recoilless ammunition and laserfire; 150 laserfire 

Brief: The PLR-1xa was a variant of an older model PLR dating back nearly three 

decades. It was for those nearly thirty years the primary weapon of Gregor soldiers in the 

field. It recently has been replaced by the more efficient PLR-3a, which has a larger 

payload capacity and cools quicker. 

Pulse Laser Rifle Variant 3a (pictured below) 

Call Number: PLR-3a 

Nickname: “PLR” 

First Appearance: “Rescuing the Dead” Part 2; Issue 11 

Caliber: Combination of 10mm recoilless and laserfire 

Payload: 300 rounds of 10mm recoilless; 250 laserfire 

Brief: The PLR-3a is the main field weapon of soldiers within the Gregor armor. It is a 

new variant from a line of weapons that has served Gregor soldiers for nearly two 

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decades. It features two barrels, one that fires 10mm recoilless ammunition and one that 

fires laserfire. 10mm recoilless is often preferred as its firing does not betray a soldier’s 

position. The laserfire, however, delivers a maximum effective damage superior to the 

10mm. The PLR-3a was made to provide a soldier with the option of both to fit any given 

situation. 

Personal Laser Cannon 63k (pictured below) 

Call Number: PLC-63k 

Nickname: “Bearded Cannon” 


Caliber: Laserfire 

Payload: 300 laserfire 

Brief: The PLC-63k “Bearded Cannon” was designed as a heavy support weapon for 

soldiers in the field. It features three barrels that can be fired sequentially similar to a 

mini-gun or can fire all three barrels at once to achieve maximum effective damage. 

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Pulse Laser Personal Valiant Kopesh 

Call Number: PLPVK 

Nickname: “Valiant” 


Caliber: Laserfire and kopesh blade 

Payload: 100 laserfire 

Brief: Deployed in the field specifically for the well-trained officers of rank Marshal or 

better (who have had additional hand-to-hand and melee combat training), the PLPVK 

was developed to give officers the firepower of a lower-ranked soldier and a weapon that 

could be used in close-quarters combat. It features a minimal payload of laserfire, but the 

kopesh blade maintains is made of the violet-colored Space Opal, a jewel that maintains 

its sharpness for considerable time – sometimes for a decade or more. The range of the 

PLPVK can also match many sniper rifles. 

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Light Anti-Personnel Support Artillery (not pictured) 

Call Number: LAPSA-8 

Nickname: “Spider” 


Caliber: 40-55mm rocket-propelled grenade or mini-missiles 

Payload: 12 

Brief: The LAPSA-8 “Spider” was developed as a heavy support weapon for soldiers in 

the field. It is relatively light and easy to operate, requiring a single soldier trained for 

Heavy Weapons to carry and operate. The Spider is meant to give troops in the field 

quick access to heavy support in lieu of waiting on other forms of artillery. 

26

Getting’ Iffy 

As I put together the first issue of If – E – Zine I didn’t have a whole huge business 

plan guiding me. at that time I felt it was far more important to actually get it done than to 

know what the hell I was doing. If I’ve learned anything by watching others professionals 

in their fields it’s that getting a job done is more important than pontificating about the 

job. 

By the time late September rolled around in 2003 I was already getting into the 

Halloween mood. At that time I was reading a book about the rise and fall of EC Comics 

and the onset of the Comics Code. 

EC Was famous for their graphic horror comics. It was EC who first published 

Tales from the Crypt – which most people probably know best from the TV series and 

movies. It seems every EC comic had a ‘host’. For Tales from the Crypt the host was The 

Crypt Keeper. 

So, as Autumn infeted, Halloween approached and I read, the idea that If – E – 

Zine should have its own mascot and host came to me. When I put together that year’s 

Halloween issue (which was the first Halloween issue for If – E – Zine) I felt developing 

a mascot or host would be too much work at the time. I shelved the idea, but never forgot 

it. 

As 2008 started I knew I had to do some special things to commemorate If – E – 

Zine’s fifth year. In February a plan was formulated: four issues would be published this 

year, the Halloween issue would be lucky issue #13, and a mascot would come to light. 

I dug through my boxes of Halloween costumes and décor, found a skull mask I 

had used for the cover art for the Halloween issue in 2007, put together an outfit, snapped 

some photos and Photoshopped together a picture. Iffy was born. He debuted online in 

June on Friday the 13 th . 

Part of the reason I wanted to create a mascot for the ezine was to create a 

character, a face for fans to latch onto and love. 

Iffy will host this year’s Halloween issue. Will he be featured in future issues? 

Most likely, but under what capacity I cannot say. My “anything goes/whatever I feel 

like” approach to If – E – Zine will dictate that. I don’t have much of a business plan for 

the ezine. I’m just getting’ it done. 

Permission granted to make copies of this issue for personal use only. 

27

Issue #1 Notes - If - E - Zine

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