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Glamour USA – January 2017

Glamour is your source for what matters to women now, from outfit ideas and makeup tutorials to celebrity news and politics.

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The Glamour List 13 Resolutions Other People Really Need to Make This Year By Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran 4 “As your boss, I’ll stop giving you those effed-up tasks that are more about making me look good than…well, fine, they’re actually only about making me look good.” 2 “When I finally see Hamilton, I won’t gloat. (I might sing a few lines, but I won’t gloat.)” “If I see you running, in heels, to catch my bus, I won’t slam the door shut and pull away right when you get there. As much fun as that would be for a jerk like me.” “I’m your friend! I won’t be jealous of your success. (OK, I will. But I’ll get over it.)” 5 “I’ll clean up after myself, because it’s true: You’re my roommate, not my mother.” HAMILTON: JOAN MARCUS. PARROT: KAREL BROZ/GETTY IMAGES. BEER: ROBERT INGELHART/GETTY IMAGES “Even though I work in a soul-sucking call center for a Multinational Company That Controls My and Your Life, I will be a human being when you finally get me on the line.” “From now on, I’ll seat women at the big comfy booths, not at that child-sized one-top under the AC vent.” “No more Snapchats of me and all our other friends having fun at parties you weren’t invited to.” 9 “I won’t steal your (adorable!) future baby name for my dog. Or my parrot. Or my boyfriend’s penis.” 12 10 “These committee meetings are such a waste of time. Let’s go have a beer instead.” “I promise my orgasm won’t make me forget you’re there in bed with me. Thirty-second zone-out, max!” “I’m going to stop blasting the bass from my car. And revving the engine in a threatening way. In fact, I’m getting rid of the giant SUV that’s obviously compensating for my fears of sexual inadequacy.” “When I want to break up, I won’t ghost you. I’ll go back to the gentle, old-fashioned way: I’ll text.” glamour.com 99

Glamour Dos & Don’ts ® The Magic of Michelle A look back at eight years of memorable, masterful Dos. We’ll miss you, FLOTUS. Michelle Obama is leaving the White House with a powerful legacy on issues like girls’ education (see page 14), but we’d like to pause here to salute her subtle, sometimes subversive sartorial choices. She championed previously unrecognized American designers (see: Cuban-born designer Isabel Toledo), sported real-person retail (J.Crew!), and, in general, dressed not by the old First Lady rules but in the way women want to dress. Melania, you’ve got some mighty stylish shoes to fill. ALL PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES 100 glamour.com