Women of Light
A city on a hill cannot be hid. Matthew 5:14
Rescuing, Restoring, and Releasing
a Redeemed Army unto the Light!
Hill of Zion Founder:
Hill of Zion Co-Founder:
Layout and Design:
Women of Light:
I chose you...Those are the
words that God made very
clear to me on November 2,
2016, while reading Isaiah
44 underneath our pecan
tree. God chose me! He
chose me with a divine
purpose in mind. He chose
me to make His heart known
to women. Women that He
has called out to be a light in
this darkened world.
“Ye are the light of the world. A city
that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” Matthew 5:14 KJV
apostles in the New Testament is the same living God that
has spoken to me and is ready to speak to you as well. He
is ready to speak with power and authority to those that are
willing to be still and listen.
March 16, 2014
Lord, I so want your will to be done in my life! Show me the
things you have for me in your future. Your will not mine.
and God answers.
know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the
Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings
which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts
knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh
intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Romans 8:26-27 KJV
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the
Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an
Jeremiah 29:11 KJV
hardships. However, these struggles lead us back to the hope
And we know that all things work together for good to them
that love God, to them who are the called according to his
Romans 8:28 KJV
Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto
me, and I will hearken unto you. Jeremiah 29:12 KJV
and release you.
me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13 KJV
Pretending like nothing happened. How did that work out
choice. We can be held captive or we can seek God to set
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me
in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully
and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and
that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not
hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously
wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did
see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book
all my members were written, which in continuance were
fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16 KJV
This is what the Lord says...I’m
making a new way.
- Isaiah 43
Table Talk Contents
Kelli Aardal Goin
When Hearts and Hands Hold Tightly ..................................................8
The Primal Heart ................................................................................11
Relentless Questioning .......................................................................13
Hidden Gifts and a Heart to Go with It
has given me is that the enemy attacked me in this
becoming a listener rather than a talker to this con
stant message being spoken into me. The thing is,
this was a wound but I believed it as truth, there
I believed them! Do you hear me? What is it in
your past or present that has been spoken into you
The tongue has the power of life and death, and
those who love it will eat its fruit.
your mind. He loves whispering lies to you. He
the truth. However, you know not to listen to
anything he says, not even when he is telling the
as you have been alive. He knows your weak spots
and he knows what buttons to push.
heart, then now is a good time to ask Him into
your heart. He is the only one you can trust and
He is the only one who can make real changes in
placed in you. There are many lost and broken
Let Him do what only He can
do. Let Him prepare you to do
what God created you to do.
people in the world. There are people that only
I challenge everyone reading this to look back on
Bring it On
tears and my heart shattered into a million pieces.
weeks or even months ahead. My husband had
and alone. He was my high school sweetheart,
it was all just a bad dream. How was I going
to let go. I remember in that moment telling
going to get me to turn my back on God and
with him instead.
again. It was my poetry that I so desperately
needed as my way to communicate with God,
me what I was dealing with in a completely
continue writing and sharing my poems as a way
I remember in that moment
telling Satan to “Bring It On”,
because this wasn’t going to get
me to turn my back on God
strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they
will run and not grow weary, they will walk and
What was running through your head?
I wish I could have made you see,
That you were still needed by me.
No more enemies to be slain.
Heavens pastures is where you now roam.
Through our kids and the things they say.
When at last we escape all our sin.
A Divine Encounter
Recently, I got rear ended while I was stopped at a
while driving and it all seemed totally surreal.
accident was only minor. I praised God even
inconvenient. I was shaken, especially because
My plan was to have my car repaired right away.
short holiday work week.
decision to have repairs done at this particular
and I have to know whatever happened to him.”
and a wheelchair and she needed to have room to
money was tight with all the medical bills &
vehicles was nearly impossible as they were all
treatment she desperately needed.
I would pass out at any moment. I grabbed my
coming to rent cars. There was one trip he was
supposed to take but ended up canceling...and
out what happened to this man and his daughter.
renting cars because something happened to that
they might be?”
my ball cap. My hands shook uncontrollably and
my heart rate soared into overdrive.
hands over her mouth in shock and cried many
laughing, but mostly crying as our human minds
I could see her brain processing the entire
was the sick daughter. In complete shock that I was
worlds better than she had imagined me to be.
We hugged, multiple times.
We took a picture together.
We continued to cry and laugh and wipe our tears
We talked about my dad and the lasting impact he
We talked about how this moment was so clearly
“That’s my dad...
I’m the sick daughter.”
prior week, we would not have met because she
was on vacation.
circumstance, however meaningless it may seem,
He knows when, how and where to answer our
prayers. When you trust in that truth and surrender
you never imagined.
The Lord shall fight for you,
and ye shall hold your peace.
or even just someone who works with children
not going to be easily swayed to do otherwise.
authority that is seen, learning to surrender to God,
resistance, submit to authority, to give up or hand
over. When what we want comes into direct
we all have a choice to make…surrender our
surrendering personal things that have been just
today, a light bulb went on in my head.
Surrender is not a one and done decision…it’s a
way of life for those who follow Christ.
When we choose to step over the line and give
I wasn’t teachable. Therefore,
I wasn’t willing to surrender
what I wanted in order to
learn and grow into what
God’s BEST was for me.
passive aggressive showing my displeasure through
my core and literally changed the way I viewed
surrendering to Him and human authority moving
I was a senior in college, had already been married
teaching credential. I was student teaching and I
the students, and she kept asking me to do busy
apparently, by the way I responded, the tone in
advisor at the college letting them know I was
not teacher material. I was unable to do tasks
grade papers, tear out workbook pages, or work
they reported some similar attitudes in their own
I wasn’t teachable.
could choose to surrender my will to all authority,
what I was doing, being right in my own eyes, lose
the ability to complete the credential program to
surrendering, being teachable, was nonsense. I
my ways and corrected things immediately, but
My pride was wounded. I was embarrassed and
ashamed. I wanted to run…but deep down I knew,
would be impacted and success in any sphere
would be limited, at best.
choice that I have made every day, sometimes
my wants, my needs, my choices, my hopes, my
able to grow in ways I never could have imagined.
girls, the lessons I learned getting there are still
ingrained in me to this day.
wants you to grow through this situation, and then
teachable, with surrendering to authority…is that
make a course correction, and joy as you see God
When Hearts and Hands Hold Tightly
guy announcing their engagement, beaming on a
track and suddenly, their trains all sped ahead while
around the sun had brought nothing new, and all I
something so special than her.
Well, the college graduation thing did, but almost
Waiting, I’ve found, hurts—because it means you’re
without something you yearn for deeply.
that day three years ago, slowly, something else is
all the while, God is working to use those things to
can be trusted. Do we trust Him to provide? Do we
trust that He has our best in mind?
because I know many married people who are still
learning them in marriage, and many others who are
doing a better job at them than anyone else I know,
yet remain single. These are areas we learn and
that it is never wasted. God always has a purpose in
There are a million ways God has used this season
God, why are You having
me wait so long? Have You
forgotten about me?
doubt and distrust, suggesting that the Tree banned
our highest good.
The waiting exposes lies of the heart, so God
can water them with the truth of His goodness,
faithfulness, and steadfast love. The watering and
waiting give life to beauty—a heart that holds the
peace and freedom of knowing God is good, and
that He can be trusted.
Time and time again, God has shown me His
character and His heart towards me, and those
streams continue to give shape to a heart that rests
know that His ways are higher than my ways and
It means knowing that He will always tend to my
heart’s deepest need, even when it isn’t the need I
and loves us more than we know.
Be Still and Know
To truly surrender, you must learn to be still.
To truly surrender, you must learn to rest in the
the previous sentence, but it just sounds prettier
than plethora, abundance, or a number that I
a hard time being still.
Why you ask?
through and guide me and let God write His story
a glorious thing.
Growing up, I had a hard time understanding who
an investigator, seeking and searching, asking
really got still enough to listen to that still voice
longer I sat still... the louder He became... and I
Surrender may be hard...
but once you discover how
to unfold the mystery of
surrender... it truly is a
Then the time came when I had to declare a
childhood, was a pediatrician. What in the world
my parents were counting on me to become a
change my mind and not go through with the goal
it poured down raining. The rain only meant one
thing... the park would be empty and I could really
or doubt to consume us... there is no calm... there
is no peace... there is no order.
to be still and know He is God in this moment
my husband to take a position as an independent
savor every memory made, encounter created and
When we let go and let God map out His plans
had gotten out and I was devastated. This was at
electricity. My husband and I knew the day would
come when we would have to have our kitchen
without my kitchen or that it would happen while
my husband was deployed. I had to open the
discovered her, spent months trying to catch
That incident happened a little over a year ago
are still not sure how or why she had gotten out,
but once she was out, she would not come back
pick her up and she went ballistic. I was wearing
I had to let her go or be shredded. I learned my
lesson and wore long sleeves, a denim jacket,
done and I spent weeks trying to lure her back in.
to investigate and discovered a dead cat in our
yard. I have no idea what happened to it. The
to get the deceased cat and lend me a live animal
to bring her inside, our other cats attacked her as
our adopted children with trauma are much like
call, a primal heart. Their brains are constantly
high and they can instantly go into primal survival
mode. In this state, their brains go on autopilot
no matter what you are doing or saying. This is
or in an attempt to control. They are surviving
learned over and over again that they cannot trust
that trust. These parents just cannot understand
my own journey as an adoptive parent. In recent
years, I have been learning a lot more about
It is wonderful what miracles God works
in wills that are utterly surrendered to Him.
Hannah Whitall Smith
work with this cat!” I believe God was telling me
cat. Gradually she accepted me more and more.
started letting me trim her nails when she was
I knew God was telling me
that I had to let go and
trust HIM with Jocelyn.
It has become clearer and clearer with each
passing day that God has called me to work with
these children with primal hearts. He is teaching
God is calling me to work with. I still have a lot
journey with God.
that cat. I knew God was telling me that I had
harder you hold onto the ones with primal hearts,
will trust you and come willingly.” It is all the
sweeter in those moments when they seek you out.
close to Ryan. I desperately needed that closeness.
It was a time completely centered on honoring
Ryan the way he deserved. When the memorial
I could endure. The heartache, desperation and
despair were relentless. I had to surrender or my
soul would perish. I needed to trust and allow God
to guide me where I was meant to go, or I knew I
Thursday, October 26, 2010
When you lose someone, anyone, you are
often left with questions of how you could
have changed things, prevented things, or done
things differently. When you lose a child, the
questions are relentless, cutting so sharply into
your heart. Whether it’s an accident, a suicide,
with questions. As a mother your job is to love,
nurture, and protect your child from harm.
When they die...somehow you have failed them.
Ryan died of acute hemorrhagic pancreatitis.
The medical examiner told me he could not have
eaten dinner if this had started before bed. In his
opinion, Ryan had a perfectly healthy pancreas,
and in a matter of several hours, it had failed
him. He assured me there was nothing I could
to the Dr, as I cried in fear,...was he hurting?
As his mom, I couldn’t handle the idea that my
little boy was hurting and I was not there to
help him and to hold him. No one can say for
sure, but it is assumed because his pancreas was
failing, his sugar levels went so high he probably
went into a coma and didn’t know what was
happening. As much as my head tells me this
is probably true, my heart still questions. Was
there something I could have done? Did he know
what was happening? Was he scared? Why didn’t
my motherly instincts tell me something was
wrong? Why didn’t they tell me my baby had
that very hard. In my head I know he wouldn’t
have chosen a different place. He loved his room,
his bed, and living with me. He had told me this
I just need my heart to
embrace what my head knows
already, but for whatever
reason, this is not easy to do.
many times. I just need my heart to embrace
what my head knows already, but for whatever
reason, this is not easy to do. The questions run
relentlessly through my heart. I know we all
wish we could have a peaceful death...to die in
our sleep sounds like a gift. But in my heart, a
mother’s heart, my baby was alone and I wish I
could have been holding him as he went from my
arms into my dad’s. Hold him in my love, as God
took him into His.
up with wondering what we could have done
in my mind at all. I had a great relationship with
my son. He knew how much I loved him and
we would talk about relationships, struggles and
anything else our hearts wanted to share with each
his health. I tried to recall every time he said his
what happened to Ryan was going to happen. It
was his time. There was nothing anyone could
let me know he would be there to meet my baby;
embark upon, a spiritual road I will share later in
God, is where He meets you and guides you to
When Everything Looks Dead
Over a year ago,
house at 4 a.m.
Talents. Immediately, I knew this was what He meant
world and the walk I knew was suddenly viewed
every darkness I saw on the news just cried out the
work with what he had been given and double it.
ground and did not double or even collect interest
was scolded and cast away.
You become stronger only when you become weaker. When you surrender
your will to God, you discover the resources to do what God requires.
master distributed the talents based on each
descriptively says the distribution was based on
already cried out to God its own repentance. It
takes a passion grown in the secret place to be
able to carry this weight. It takes a deeply rooted
a private strength only truly known by the Master.
He distributes accordingly.
servant will be multiplied. Those who are willing
Perhaps they will be distracted
by the demands of the world
and accidentally let their good
to host His presence will see a great increase.
useless currency will get an opportunity to serve
intends to do, they will go at once to make the
These servants were not competing to be the
best servant or the most noticed. They did not do
revival because man cannot create revival. It is
while in our possession.
What we do with it is up to us. We can act on it
immediately, making His work our identity, pleasing
can bury it in the ground and sit on it.
when it is handed to them. Perhaps they will
be embittered that their brother received a
heavier measure than them. Perhaps they will
who He really is.
disabled by the idea that what they do might not
please their Master. They believe Him to be hard
by the small opportunities to spread revival, the
ones that come in grocery stores and the back
glamorous. They give up and think they will just
make a mistake.
His presence is a wasted opportunity to grow this
you, but I want more than anything to hear those
The Brave Steps in Surrender
neighborhood in a country setting. My husband
had a job in ministry and I was able to stay at
home with my kids and homeschool them. We
were living our dream. We were content and living
home that needed one. This had been a nudging
however, that the God who owns the cattle on a
bring our child home.
agency that had a partnership with an orphanage
the papers to start the process and wrote a check
trust that God had asked us to do this.
this? How are you going to homeschool three kids?
that God would provide and help us.
heart but sometimes, along the way, I doubted.
panic attack, scared about how this would, in
the child would like me, to being scared about
them. Not to worry, because God promises to stop
in the water, and promises that as soon as they do,
will be able to cross over on dry ground.
We signed the papers.
We marked boy or girl.
knew our adoption was the place to give. We gave
the God who works through us to make miracles
used by God to make a way when there is no way.
Isn’t he just amazing?
He asks us to take one brave
step at a time, so that we can
experience him as Miracle
Worker, Mighty God: Yahweh.
I was driving my kids down the highway in my
whether taking our two biological children to a
was proper missionary wear – a long skirt and a
denim jacket. I clutched a verse on a bright pink
a conversation with the girl because I just had the
trendy with her skinny jeans and cute shoes. I
night and I was shocked, to say the least, that the
When we arrived, a teenage boy unlocked an iron
gate that enclosed the property. We went inside
over. That was it, I could not go back to sleep.
This was the long awaited day, the day when we
would meet the sweet child we had taken brave
orphanage director, and the aunties who had cared
down a dirt road so bumpy it could have been a
compound whose walls had broken glass atop
them to keep predators out who would try and
– the orphan.
The gatekeeper opened the iron green gate and we
get our daughter and be right back!
to happen. I was about to meet my daughter,
into her ear.
us as the orphanage director encouraged her.
When I tell this story to groups in person, I always
courageous. Do not be discouraged or dismayed,
The trees are about to show us
how lovely it is to let dead things go.
I Chose You
my broken heart...
God, where are you? Those were the words my
enemy, and this lie still lies dormant in my soul
old. I was picked on everyday by the same girl
boy shoes. I hated them. That is when the tiny seed
The same girl continued to put me down all
I struggled academically, so now I was ugly and
dumb. The lie took root deep in my heart.
ever choose me? The lie continued to blossom.
In high school, I let my hair grow out, I got braces,
because I wanted to believe I was enough. That I
what I believed, so I began to highlight my hair,
clothes. I was desperately seeking outward
beauty. I was going to prove to the world that I
He proposed to me when I was 23 years old, and
later. I was completely in love with the idea that
is what I had wanted...right?
I was convinced then
I would never be enough.
Those girls were beautiful.
Who would ever choose me?
but I stayed. We were having a child.
It was seven years into our marriage when my
had our second child. I was devastated. The enemy
and no one else would ever want me...so I stayed
pretending like nothing happened. I was
determined to prove the enemy wrong all on
My prayer I wrote on March 16, 2014:
I stayed once again, but this time I stepped out
God in His Word and in prayer. I would seek until
writings, my chickens, my garden, my children,
God is an on time God. He swung the doors wide
open. He told my neighbor to go across the street
and we moved across the street. Most would say I
was still holding onto my worth.
It was when we moved across the street the true
doing everything I could in my own power, but
nothing was working. Things were getting uglier
retreat I had no shame. I told the ladies it was hard
me. God was calling me to surrender.
still.” Exodus 14:14
he had hidden during our entire marriage...but
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank
you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your
workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.”
broken heart...I chose you in your mother’s womb.
All to Thee my blessed Saviour – I surrender all.
Judson W. Van DeVenter
Wake Up Call
When our three oldest kids were in high school,
occurred. It was an intense wake up call to our
Him more intensely.
His love….He aches to hold you in HIs everlasting
Things did not change overnight, but there was
can leave it out or use it improperly, resulting in a
The earth may rumble, the attacks and storms may
loving, living, everlasting arms.
It frustrates me when people
say believers are hypocrites...
OF COURSE WE ARE!
We need help. We need Him!
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the
things of old. 19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now
it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a
way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
especially during those long dry days in the desert.
book about her testimony titled 180 Degrees
suicide and numerous other trials. However, I
things you never dreamed you could overcome.
pancreatitis, over 300 days without eating by mouth, total debilitation,
creatively communicating these things through the
others. I believe transparency cultivates connec
ily, working my corporate job in communications,
traveling, getting lost in the mountains, sticking
my nose in a good book, or diving deeper into the
Heather Paul is an aspiring speaker and author.
her talks encourage others to discover their inner
we are in church a hundred times or never, He will
eally was, He was already at work pursuing her.
Her authentic speaking style includes a
school. Her husband is a secondary social studies
teacher and is also currently deployed with the
Glenda lives with her husband, Russ, in a small Northern
immediately loved and raised as her own. During this marriage
whom she homeschools. They adopted their young
her through the good, the bad, and the ugly on her
1. Read a Psalm or Proverbs.
2. Take a closer look.
into the light.
you read today.
Write down what God wants you to
do in response to this verse.
Reword the verse into a conversation
3. Write it down and look back often.
God, You are:
Thank you for:
I say a special prayer for:
Who or what does God want you
I’m sorry for:
What do you need to ask God
Our outward expression of unity will reflect our inward unity of purpose.
Seeking God: 9/26/2016
God, you are ...
I’m sorry for ...
My unbelief...you are able!
Thank you for ...
of my future.
I need ...
help with my unbelief!
I say a special prayer for ...
Women of Light
Bless it....you are able!
Now to Him
who is able.
He can do
we ask or
God, you are
God, you are...
God, you are...
God, you are...
God, you are...