Vietnam Vets: Still Coming Home
"Vietnam Vets: Still Coming Home" tells the stories of 31 Vietnam Veterans who served "in country" between 1961 and 1974.
"Vietnam Vets: Still Coming Home" tells the stories of 31 Vietnam Veterans who served "in country" between 1961 and 1974.
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Copyright<br />
Book Design and Layout: Chad Cable<br />
Recent Photography: Steven H. Feimer<br />
Historical Photographs: Supplied by Veterans and Archival Agencies<br />
Cover Photography: Steven H. Feimer<br />
Copyright© 2017 by Steven H. Feimer and Kristine-Elin Cable<br />
All Rights Reserved<br />
First Edition<br />
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data<br />
Feimer, Steven H. and Cable, Kristine-Elin<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong> <strong>Vets</strong>: <strong>Still</strong> <strong>Coming</strong> <strong>Home</strong> - Their Stories in Their Words<br />
p.cm.<br />
ISBN 978-0-9963678-0-6<br />
Includes<br />
1. <strong>Vietnam</strong> War,--Pictorial works. 2. Photography. 3. Personal narratives, American.<br />
4. Soldiers- American--Interviews. I. Title<br />
Library of Congress Number<br />
2016907764<br />
The written material and photographs in this volume are intended for the personal use of the reader. No part of this publication<br />
may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,<br />
photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the permission of the authors.<br />
Every effort has been made to ensure that all the information in this book is accurate. However, due to factors including the<br />
length of time between the interviewees’ service in <strong>Vietnam</strong> and the writing of the book, as well as changes in the name and/or<br />
spelling of villages in <strong>Vietnam</strong>, some accounts may lack precision. The stories contained herein are based upon informed consent<br />
interviews conducted by the authors.<br />
Each interviewee was provided with a written transcript of the interview for the purpose of correcting any errors or omissions.<br />
All information in this book is true and complete to the best of our knowledge. Photo credits are provided whenever possible to<br />
identify the photo source(s). The authors and publisher cannot be responsible for any injuries, losses, and other damages that<br />
may result from the use of the information in this book.
Contents<br />
Dedication 2<br />
Foreword 4<br />
Introduction 6<br />
The Veterans<br />
Kerwin “Pee Wee” Douthit 11<br />
Tim Ross 21<br />
Eldon Nygaard 31<br />
George E. “Bud” Day 47<br />
Doris Day 63<br />
James Meger 71<br />
David Cauley 87<br />
Gary Knecht 101<br />
Neil Kohl 113<br />
Basil Heth/Tony Garcia 127<br />
Mary Swenson 143<br />
Don Dahlin 157<br />
Dennis Daum 171<br />
David Volk 187<br />
Dennis Buseman 203<br />
Duane Kummer 215<br />
JR Raysor 225<br />
Ralph Swain 239<br />
Richard Fox 253<br />
Tom Gilbert 265<br />
Stewart Hines 275<br />
Gene Murphy 289<br />
Lyle Bowes 305<br />
Mark DeSciscio 321<br />
Charles Freeman 333<br />
John Boos 347<br />
Larry Tentinger 359<br />
Doug Van Hull 371<br />
Mike Welsh 387<br />
Fred Winkler 403<br />
Roger Kugler 419<br />
Afterword 430<br />
Acknowledgements/<br />
Photograph Credits 432<br />
About the Authors 433<br />
Glossary Of Terms 434
Dedication<br />
To every Soldier, Sailor, Airman, and Marine<br />
Who shared with us their memories of <strong>Vietnam</strong>,<br />
We offer special recognition to those who are still missing,<br />
To the brave souls whose tour of duty ended there,<br />
And to the Families<br />
Who endured the absence and who still mourn their loss.<br />
To all, we dedicate this book.<br />
There has been too much forgetting.<br />
We are honored to be a part of the remembering.<br />
2
FOREWORD<br />
On April 30, 1975, at 8:35 a.m., the last U.S. Marines left the American Embassy in<br />
Saigon, <strong>Vietnam</strong>, marking the end of America’s longest and most controversial war, the<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong> War. That is, until the Iraq War. The <strong>Vietnam</strong> War, like the wars in Iraq and<br />
Afghanistan was not a declared “Great war” like WWI or WWII. <strong>Vietnam</strong> began as a<br />
conflict that grew into a small war in much the same way the Korean Conflict became<br />
a small war. One might ask; what the difference is between a “great war” and a “small<br />
war” or “conflict?”<br />
Perhaps the distinction lies in the number of dead and wounded. Is it that in small<br />
wars and conflicts the dead and wounded are counted in tens of thousands rather than<br />
millions? But then, how does one count the dead and wounded . . . military killed or<br />
wounded, civilian deaths, enemy killed, missing and presumed dead? Any of these<br />
dark figures are at best only estimates of the number of military and civilian casualties.<br />
What truths have we learned from all of these wars? The first truth was that in 1918<br />
when Woodrow Wilson declared that World War I was “the war to end all wars” he was<br />
wrong on at least two counts. One, the U.S. subsequently engaged in a second World<br />
War and two, the U.S. has continued to engage in a number of regional military conflicts<br />
ever since. Indeed, Wilson’s remarks in retrospect are darkly ironic.<br />
In fact, the assertion that nations would no longer wage wars was not only wrong<br />
but, perhaps, naïve in that the opposite seems to have occurred. The hope that nations<br />
would find alternative, non-violent ways to resolve political conflicts has merely manifested<br />
as alternative linguistic and policy frameworks that have reenergized war as an<br />
optimal policy choice. In fact, we appear to be no closer to ending the practice of war<br />
than we were during Wilson’s time. Rather, we may have witnessed an escalation in<br />
military conflicts designed to maim and kill each other more efficiently in quieter and<br />
smaller ’police actions.’<br />
And what poignant truths did we learn specifically from the <strong>Vietnam</strong> War? Perhaps<br />
one of the more enduring truths is captured in a quote by Jose Narosky, “In war, there<br />
are no unwounded soldiers.” Norosky’s assessment regarding the effects of war neatly<br />
encapsulates an important and enduring truth about military conflict. Not surprisingly<br />
then, understanding more about the impact of war on its military participants is a significant<br />
driving force behind our face-to-face interview work with <strong>Vietnam</strong> Veterans.<br />
I came upon the idea to write this book by a chance encounter. In the summer<br />
of 2008, I was photographing an event honoring Veterans at our local Veterans<br />
Resource Center. As I was packing up my camera equipment, a gentleman sat<br />
4<br />
down next to me and asked, “Can you take 35mm slides and turn them into photographs?”<br />
“Yes,” I responded and then asked, “What kind of slides do you have?”<br />
He replied in a very soft but direct voice, “They are pictures I took when I was in<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong>. I was a door gunner in a helicopter gunship.” And so it began.<br />
The next day Gary arrived at my office carrying two old five-pound plastic<br />
tobacco bags, the kind of bags that “roll-your-own” smokers buy. Both bags were<br />
filled with slides, campaign ribbons, medals, patches, letters, an old 1A Draft card,<br />
and a variety of memorabilia from his time in <strong>Vietnam</strong>.<br />
As I examined the slides and read his letters, I realized that this man’s life before,<br />
during, and after <strong>Vietnam</strong> bore a special significance not simply because of<br />
its individual uniqueness, but because his personal story revealed the commonality<br />
of experiences and feelings that most military personnel who go to war – any<br />
war – share. What Veteran can forget arriving at boot camp, C- rations, letters<br />
from home, the sounds of the battlefield at night, the cry, Medic!!, the boredom,<br />
the chaos, being shot at, being hit, the adrenaline highs, mud, the stench of battle,<br />
emptied bunks, and coming home?<br />
As the academic year began in the fall of 2008, I contacted two of my colleagues,<br />
professors Robert Swan and Steven Bucklin, both Veterans and asked if<br />
they would be interested in collaborating on a book centered on the lives of Veterans<br />
before, during, and after <strong>Vietnam</strong>. After receiving funding from the Chiesman<br />
Center of Democracy and technical support from Jathan Chicoine, Executive<br />
Director of the Vermillion Veterans Resource Center, we began identifying<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong> Veterans to interview.<br />
At first, we planned to interview six or perhaps eight Veterans. As it turned<br />
out almost every soldier we interviewed gave us the name of another Veteran who<br />
needed to be contacted. All had compelling stories of their experiences. Soon we<br />
found ourselves overwhelmed with <strong>Vets</strong> who wanted to share their stories. We<br />
knew there were practical limits to the number of interviews we could do, but it<br />
was hard to say no, despite the fact there were simply too many stories that Veterans<br />
wanted to share with us. In the end, we settled for a platoon size group of<br />
<strong>Vets</strong>, knowing that there were many other stories we would miss.<br />
For the most part, the men we contacted were eager to tell their experiences<br />
and appreciated the fact that nearly forty years after the <strong>Vietnam</strong> War, people<br />
were still interested in their stories and their lives. There were times, however,<br />
when Veterans would ask us to turn off the recorder, not because of some “blood<br />
and guts” issue or because they were recalling becoming hooked on “Black
Beauties” or other drugs, but because our questions dredged up memories and<br />
emotions that were still too vivid and painful to revisit. In other cases certain<br />
Veterans declined to be interviewed and when we inquired why, they simply<br />
said “I can’t talk about <strong>Vietnam</strong>.” Their response always reminded me of the<br />
“What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” commercial. Perhaps, “What Happened<br />
in ‘Nam, [should] Stay in ‘Nam” and I suspect that it will.<br />
This book is a testimony to the soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines lives<br />
before, during, and after <strong>Vietnam</strong>. Many of the photographs were taken by U.S.<br />
Veterans while in <strong>Vietnam</strong> and show the muted colors of the old Kodacolor film<br />
(C-41) processing. Other photographs reflect modern digital photographic techniques<br />
and unique processing. In considering the book design we wanted to produce<br />
a book that was both rich in narrative and photography. What began as an<br />
effort to convert 35mm slides ended with the interviews of a platoon size group<br />
of <strong>Vietnam</strong> War Veterans and over 2,500 photographs. We hope our presentation<br />
of these lives stirs within the readers the same shifting perspectives and sense of<br />
humanity that moved us to create this record.<br />
Photographs remind us of where we have been, mirrors remind us of<br />
where we are.<br />
Steve Feimer, Photographer<br />
5
INTRODUCTION<br />
“<strong>Vietnam</strong> <strong>Vets</strong>: <strong>Still</strong> <strong>Coming</strong> <strong>Home</strong>” introduces thirty Veterans who served in<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong> between 1962 and 1973. They represent the Army, Marines, Air Force,<br />
and Navy, and experienced their service with different jobs, in different parts of<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong> and with different degrees of impact on their post-<strong>Vietnam</strong> lives. None<br />
came away unscathed; none have forgotten – nor ever will forget - those years.<br />
“<strong>Still</strong> <strong>Coming</strong> <strong>Home</strong>” is a glimpse of those thirty lives before, during, and after<br />
<strong>Vietnam</strong>.<br />
that each of these thirty Veterans have stored in their hearts makes them who they<br />
are today. With courage they have shared Their Stories, In Their Words.<br />
It is said that “a picture is worth a thousand words,” and if that is accurate, the<br />
word count in this book is infinite. The Veterans have provided personal photos<br />
from their experiences which tell these stories with a range of feelings from horror<br />
to humor, and which capture the time and the culture of a by-gone era. The<br />
creative talent of co-author Steve Feimer has contributed an artistic element to the<br />
book with the photographs of the Veterans today. The memorabilia which they<br />
saved and shared - from draft cards to weapons to uniforms to enemy artifacts -<br />
documents their time in <strong>Vietnam</strong>. Some rarely dig out these treasures because of<br />
the emotional memories they represent. Some share them regularly with family<br />
and friends and display them in their homes. All have appreciated the careful<br />
and respectful arrangements Steve has designed to poignantly tell their stories in<br />
photographs.<br />
Telling the <strong>Vets</strong>’ stories in words was a different challenge. Each interview was<br />
taped, and a transcript was made for the writer to combine and then tell each<br />
story. In order to convey the emotion, the individual’s speech patterns, the “atmosphere”<br />
of the surroundings, pauses in the interview, body language and other<br />
non-verbal elements, it was necessary to use unusual or non-standard punctuation<br />
and spacing and to insert editorial comments using italicized paragraphs. It<br />
is hoped that the stories “read” as they were spoken, and, that if read aloud, each<br />
Vet would come alive as the individual they are. No apologies are made for grammar,<br />
repetitive sayings, swearing, anger, or “voices full of tears.” Long pauses . . .<br />
hopefully convey the depth of feeling that makes each Vet’s account of his <strong>Vietnam</strong><br />
experiences truly unique. Maintaining the integrity of the interview was essential<br />
for “<strong>Still</strong> <strong>Coming</strong> <strong>Home</strong>” to achieve one of the goals of the book’s original<br />
concept.<br />
The whole story of <strong>Vietnam</strong> will never be told. It would be impossible. Each<br />
Veteran left as a young man or woman with expectations and personal history.<br />
Most Veterans came home much older and changed in many ways both physically<br />
and mentally. Some have had greater success than others in “moving on”<br />
and building a future without the shadows of <strong>Vietnam</strong> darkening their lives. But<br />
throughout the forty-plus years that have gone by since <strong>Vietnam</strong>, the memories<br />
6
The Veterans and Their Stories<br />
7
Sun Tzu, The Art of War<br />
Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust. Thus we<br />
may know that there are five essentials for victory:<br />
• He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.<br />
• He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.<br />
• He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.<br />
• He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.<br />
• He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.
Kerwin “Pee Wee” Douthit
Kerwin “Pee Wee” Douthit<br />
The Army E7 was already dead; the Viet Cong had staked him to the ground<br />
with bamboo poles through his shoulders. I somehow got the VC, and then carried<br />
out the wounded Colonel. We could be next if they caught up with us. I ran<br />
with him on my back for four and a half hours. We both survived but I never saw<br />
him again, and I never want to.<br />
Memories of the sights, secrets, and scars of a twenty-two year military career<br />
began “in the middle of nowhere” in one country and took Kerwin “PeeWee”<br />
Douthit to the “middle of nowhere” around the world and back. Much of his<br />
story will never be told; here is a part of what he can share.<br />
There are lots of places in South Dakota that people would describe as the<br />
“middle of nowhere,” and I grew up in one of them. My folks ran a cattle ranch<br />
three miles east of Vetal, South Dakota – population 7 - in Bennett County, on<br />
the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation about twenty miles east of Martin, South<br />
Dakota. It’s hard to imagine these days, but the house I was born in was made<br />
out of logs with a dirt floor and a sod roof. Amazing that it’s still there. I was<br />
raised after the Depression and we did not have a whole lot to eat; you ate what<br />
came off the ranch. I remember sugar being rationed and so was gasoline during<br />
WW II. Whenever we had to go someplace, we went with horses.<br />
There were five boys and one girl in the family – two older brothers, me, a younger<br />
sister, and a younger brother. My mother died giving birth to twins. One twin<br />
died shortly after birth and the other twin was adopted by my aunt. After Mom<br />
died, Dad sold the ranch and moved to town. I went to work on another ranch and<br />
stayed with my grandmother during the school year to attend grade school and<br />
junior high in Lincoln, Nebraska. Then I attended high school at the University of<br />
Nebraska, School of Agriculture in Curtis, Nebraska. Our family was pretty well<br />
split up during the school year, but we got back together during the summers.<br />
11<br />
Not the Army Kind<br />
After I graduated from high school in 1957, I really wasn’t thinking much<br />
about being in the military. My uncles – most of them – had been in the service,<br />
but Dad wasn’t allowed to serve in WWII. The country needed the cattle they<br />
were raising on the ranch.<br />
None of us young kids then paid any attention to the war in <strong>Vietnam</strong> or<br />
Southeast Asia. Girls was mostly what we thought about. But that all changed<br />
in February of 1960. One day I was playing cribbage in a place where they<br />
served sodas, when the secretary of the local draft board came in and told me<br />
I was “number one” for the draft. I said, “No, I’m not,” and walked across the<br />
street to the Air Force recruiter and signed up. I’m not the Army kind of guy, so<br />
I joined the Air Force thinking I could stay back and make sure their girlfriends<br />
were happy.<br />
But it didn’t end up that way. I left that night for my 12 weeks of basic training<br />
in San Antonio, Texas. Twelve weeks of boot camp was actually eight for us.<br />
We was in our eighth week when the drill instructors got new people coming in,<br />
so we just had to sit around and act like we was smart! I waited four weeks, and<br />
then my transfer was to Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi, for training.<br />
Electronics was among a lot of other training we had. This was the beginning of<br />
what ended up as being a twenty-two year career in the U.S. Air Force.<br />
In the very early days of the U.S. involvement in <strong>Vietnam</strong>, prior to the largescale<br />
ground war initiative, enlistees were trained for jobs that were urgently<br />
needed for gaining knowledge of the area and the enemy. Sometimes small<br />
groups were trained in a number of techniques for specialized communications<br />
and intelligence gathering. Especially for those who continued with the service
as a career, many built upon these first skills and their personal field experiences<br />
to move on and train others.<br />
The Air Force has AFSCS’s which is a specialty code for assigning job classifications.<br />
I was an Air Force IG inspector, a quality control inspector, and at one<br />
time, I was an enlisted commander which in other branches of the service you<br />
don’t normally have. Later, after <strong>Vietnam</strong>, I was a survival instructor in Arctic,<br />
jungle, and dessert.<br />
After training, I didn’t go directly to <strong>Vietnam</strong>; my first overseas duty assignment<br />
and permanent change of station (PCS) was Clark Air Force Base in the<br />
Philippines. I was only in the Philippines for about three days before I was sent<br />
up into South Korea to work with the Republic of Korea Army (ROK). The communist<br />
North Korean soldiers were coming across the DMZ – Demilitarized<br />
Zone – so I spent about six weeks chasing the North Koreans. It was a miserable<br />
duty. We were out in the bush the entire time with no way to take a bath or<br />
anything. I was really dirty and skuzzy. I smelled like a dead horse. Six weeks<br />
in Korea was plenty for me, so when my time was up I was ordered to fly back to<br />
Clark AFB from Korea.<br />
“The U.S. Does Not Know You”<br />
So, here I was in the shower cleaning up when the security police came in and<br />
got me. I had no sense I was going to <strong>Vietnam</strong> until I went over to the Thirteenth<br />
Air Force Headquarters, which was really a vault within a vault. It was there that<br />
I learned that I was going to <strong>Vietnam</strong> on temporary duty orders (TDY) with a<br />
special assignment.<br />
I was stripped of everything I had on me that said United States of America.<br />
I wasn’t the only one receiving this “special treatment” – there was fifteen of us.<br />
12