Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 328– August 9, 2017

Looking for a good old-fashioned house
party to meet mature men 35+?
HOS is hosting a private party.
Open bar and food buffet.
If you’re interested in M4M
meeting face to face, come to this
Singles Party 2017.
**THIS IS NOT A SEX PARTY **
Sept. 23 • 7 pm - 1 am
South Plainfield, NJ
Close to all public transportation from NYC/Newark airport. $30
This is a nationwide invitation.
Contact Tony for more information!
Call or text: (908) 930-9204
Email: tyleeking@aol.com
You must register to be invited to this private event.
** DRUGS ARE NOT ALLOWED **
PUBLISHER
MIKE TODD
MIKE@GETOUTMAG.COM
(646) 761-3325
DESIGN
AGOTA CORREA
AGOTA@GETOUTMAG.COM
(347) 776-9568
NATIONAL
ADVERTISNG
REPRESENTATIVE
RIVENDELL MEDIA
(908) 232-2021
CONTRIBUTORS
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT
EILEEN SHAPIRO
IAN-MICHAEL BERGERON
ISSUE 328 - AUGUST 9 2017
Cover Models: Jared & David Photo by WILSONMODELS

a new play by S. ASHER GELMAN
16
EXTENDED THRU SEPTEMBER !
the climax is just the beginning
THE LOFT at the DAVENPORT THEATRE
354 W 45th St (between 8th & 9th Ave)
afterglowtheplay.com

BY EILEEN SHAPIRO
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT
Jared and David
I met Jared and David at this year’s New York Gay Pride as they
modeled shirtless in their underwear. I soon found out that they
were a couple with a fascinating story as to how and why their
relationship has lasted in a world where they very often don’t.
Both work as models, dancers and in the bar industry, and both
are exposed to the gay nightlife that encompasses us all. Here
is their story.
How and when did you meet?
Jared: We met at G Lounge, now REBAR
where I’m sure many gay couples have met.
David was working as a server there, and I
was go-go dancing occasionally. He saw me
dancing one night and started lightly flirting
with me by smiling at me and bringing me
Blow Pops or Ring Pops on the nights when
I worked, which I thought was adorable.
One night, the magic finally sparked, and
we felt that immediate connection when
we kissed. I invited him to come with some
friends and me to a dance party after work,
and that kicked off the start of our romance.
David: Ha! I had my eye on that booty long
before we met. LOL. I was serving cocktails
at G Lounge, and he was dancing. I used
to just stand a few feet away from his box
while he was dancing and just stare, never
really saying much; that’s probably why he
paid little attention to me. If he had, this
relationship would have started sooner. But
yes, I always brought candy to work for the
bartenders and go-go boys, and I’d usually
save the Ring Pops for him. Then one day,
that one kiss started something pretty
damn amazing!
You two have a special kind of
relationship. Can you explain it?
David: This definitely is one of the most
unconventional relationships I’ve ever been
in, but honestly, also the best. Every open
relationship is created different. In the
beginning, I didn’t know if I even wanted an
open relationship. My friends even asked
me what I was doing, because I had never
been that type of person before. But Jared
had a lot of patience and gave me room to
figure that out for myself. We spent a lot of
time expressing our needs and desires, and
I’m very happy we were able to find a way
that worked for us.
We set up boundaries based on where one
of us might feel uncomfortable, but we
were open to changing those as well as we
learned more about ourselves and each
other. Mostly, we like to have fun, enjoy
life and see each other happy. We love
experiencing new things together, and we
don’t mind testing the waters to see what
works and what doesn’t.

Jared: Our relationship had a very unusual
start. We were both in relationships at the
time. David was ending one, and I was still
very much in an open relationship with
Seth Fornea. As his relationship ended,
ours evolved into somewhat of a throuple
with my partner at the time, but I think
what we really became was just one big
family. There were a lot of conversations
had, of course. But they were honest
conversations with loving listeners. Early
on, when David and I first started seeing
each other, Seth pulled him aside and
said, “Thank you for making Jared so
happy.” We all still live together, love
and support each other. It’s really a very
healthy situation.
Why and how does it work for you?
Jared: The big thing that I think a lot
of people don’t realize is that open
relationships aren’t really that different
from monogamous ones. They both
work and don’t work for many of the
same reasons. I think that for me, it has
worked first and foremost because I really
had to realize that an open relationship
is what I wanted. And the main reason
for that was because I wanted a style of
relationship where my partner and I could
feel completely comfortable being honest
with each other about our sexual desires
without feeling uncomfortable or needing
to bend the truth, lie or cheat. I think a
lot of relationships don’t work because
people aren’t honest with themselves first
or haven’t even bothered to think about
what they really want, and just let society
dictate to them how their relationship
should be defined. For David and I, we
have our own rules, and we have built
trust for each other. And honestly, there
have been times when we thought it
might not work between us, that we had
run up against an unresolvable difference
or let emotions flare up and get the best
of us. But when we took a little time to
empathize and learn from each other, we
found our way back and were stronger
because of it.
David: In short, it works because we want
it to! And we are willing to work with
each other. Of course, we have the love
and respect and communication. But we
both want to help each other to grow
and make positive changes, as a couple
and as individuals. Progressing in life and
learning to better oneself and each other
is special, and that’s what we have, and
that’s why it works.
Jared: Oh! And you can’t leave out nonverbal
communication. One of the early
things that we both loved about each
other was that we are both instinctively
very physically affectionate people.
I never get tired of him coming over to
give me a kiss on the cheek or even just
to lean on me. That, and the sex is out of
this world!
You also sometimes work together.
How does that affect your home life?
Jared: We really enjoy working together
when we get the opportunity, usually
go-go dancing, hosting events or brand
promotions, which is fun work to do
together. Overall, I think that the effect
is positive and brings us closer together.
And when all three of us get to travel
together for work, we have a BLAST!
David: We have a lot of fun working
together—all of us. We tend to stay
away from drama and keep it positive.
We definitely have our fair share of
disagreements, but we keep that home,
no matter what. Some producers won’t
hire couples simply because of drama they
could bring. That’s not us. On the other
hand, we’ve had some wild experiences
in the past two years, especially when we
travel to new places together. Most not
PG rated.
Is there ever jealousy involved?
Jared: I’m not really a very jealous person
in general. I’m genuinely happy for my
partner to succeed and want to help him
if I can. A win for him is a win for us. If you
are referring to our openness, generally
no. I want my partner to have an amazing
life full of diverse experiences. There
have been a few times when one of us
felt a little jealousy, but we found it really
wasn’t so much about being jealous as it
was about expressing a need for other’s
attention and affection. It has happened
often enough that we use a code word
now to quickly and discreetly express to
each other that we need to have a little
alone time, away from others, to show
each other a some extra TLC.

David: I occasionally was a jealous person in
the beginning—not cute, possessive jealous,
but insecure, worrying jealous. It did cause
some problems between us that could have
possibly ended us. I didn’t think jealousy was
cute or a trait I wanted to have. I knew it was
something I wanted to change, and I didn’t
want to lose Jared. I realized that my jealousy
was really coming from my own insecurities.
Jared was really patient with me, and I learned
how to overcome it, which took, among other
things, gaining a lot of confidence in myself.
Going to see a therapist (which I’ve been
going to for years) is probably one of the
healthiest things I’ve ever done for myself.
And bringing this up to my therapist actually
helped me to have an understanding of
where that was coming from. I think everyone,
especially our in community, should go to
therapy. It helps in every aspect of your life.
Do you plan on getting married, or are you
already married?
Jared: We are not yet married, but we have
talked about it!
David: We will be getting married!
You must have interesting stories. What’s
your best or funniest?
David: It isn’t necessarily funny, but one of
our more memorable moments as a couple
happened when we were working for Cherry
in D.C. The three of us—Jared, Seth and I—
were in the bathroom, and we just looked at
each other and all started crying like little girls
and telling each other how much we love one
another and how happy we are as a family.
Jared: Too many! Quite a few that probably
shouldn’t go in print. A few years ago, Seth
and I were dancing for Independence Week
in P-town, and the day before the beach
party, I was riding my bike back to the house.
There was one hill that I had gone down
many times before with a near 90-degree
turn at the bottom. I was going down the hill
at maybe 15-20 mph, but what I didn’t know
was that it had just rained, and sand had
collected at the turn. I saw it too late and had
to choose between hitting a fence and flying
over into a field or skidding the bike into the
ground. I managed to keep my head up, but
bodysurfing asphalt took off more than a few
layers of skin from my hands, side and knees.
When I made it back to the house covered in
blood, all the go-go dancers jumped up from
dinner and helped me get cleaned up and
bandaged.

I took the night off to recover, but of
course, the next day, I got back on my
go-go box wrapped up in gauze, and still
served up a fun beach party. A local NYC
promoter took a video of me dancing with
the caption, “I want to be her when I grow
up!”
Is there anything that you would like to
promote for yourselves?
Jared: You can find me on Instagram,
Facebook, Twitter or SoundCloud under
Jared Bradford or @jbradfordinc for music
I’ve created, modeling, appearances, fun
events and parties and more thoughts
on everything from nutrition, science,
politics, and life in general. I performed and
produced the audiobook of “My Hero,” a
gay romance novel by Max Vos, available
on Audible, iTunes and Amazon. It’s a
touching coming-of-age, first-love
story with some steamy moments to
make you sweat a little. Also, I love
teaching, and I’m a great math and
science tutor if anyone needs help!
Email physicstutor.jared@gmail.com
for inquiries.
of understanding, honest communication
and willingness to experiment a little with
what works and what doesn’t. And above
all, I think it requires a willingness to put
aside egos and learn from your partner
without assuming that you know everything.
If you keep that attitude, you may even
learn things about yourself that you never
realized you didn’t know.
David: Be honest with yourself, and be
sure, or at least have an idea, of what
you want in a relationship. Try to keep an
open mind and willingness to experience
and learn from one another. Don’t force
something that doesn’t work for you. Ask
questions before you make conclusions. It’s
easy to understand your own perception of
someone; it’s much harder to understand
how someone perceives himself.
David: Find me on Facebook,
Instagram and Twitter under David
Emmanuel or @demmanuelny.
Signed model, dancer, spokesmodel
for FCA (Fiat Chrysler Automobile)
and in the process of pursuing
voice-over acting. I still go-go dance
and host events as well. I’m also a
personal chef (in the industry for
19 years), so if you’d like to hire a
personal chef for yourself, private
events, nutritional needs, etc., email
me at davidecorbin1@gmail.com.
Any advice to couples in the same
situation?
Jared: Sure! If you are getting into
an open relationship, make sure
that you spend a lot of time talking
about what that means to you and
your partner, and work together
to figure out what works best for
the both of you. As differences
arise, take time to get to know and
understand each other instead of
getting angry. Through that process,
you can begin to love someone for
who they are, and not for who you
think they are or who you want them
to be. Of course, that takes a lot

WHAT IS ODEFSEY ® ?
ODEFSEY is a 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine
used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older. It
can either be used in people who are starting HIV-1
treatment, have never taken HIV-1 medicines before,
and have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral
load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL; or in
people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines
and whose healthcare provider determines they
meet certain requirements. These include having an
undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) for
6 months or more on their current HIV-1 treatment.
ODEFSEY combines 3 medicines into 1 pill taken once a
day with a meal. ODEFSEY is a complete HIV-1 treatment
and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.
ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS.
To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related
illnesses, you must keep taking ODEFSEY. Ask your
healthcare provider if you have questions about how
to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always
practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance
of sexual contact with body fluids. Never reuse or share
needles or other items that have body fluids on them.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
What is the most important information I should
know about ODEFSEY?
ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects:
• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection.
ODEFSEY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have
both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking ODEFSEY, your
HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking
ODEFSEY without first talking to your healthcare
provider, as they will need to monitor your health.
Who should not take ODEFSEY?
Do not take ODEFSEY if you take:
• Certain prescription medicines for other
conditions. It is important to ask your healthcare
provider or pharmacist about medicines that should
not be taken with ODEFSEY. Do not start a new
medicine without telling your healthcare provider.
• The herbal supplement St. John’s wort.
• Any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection.
What are the other possible side effects of ODEFSEY?
Serious side effects of ODEFSEY may also include:
• Severe skin rash and allergic reactions. Skin
rash is a common side effect of ODEFSEY. Call your
healthcare provider right away if you get a rash, as some
rashes and allergic reactions may need to be treated in
a hospital. Stop taking ODEFSEY and get medical help
right away if you get a rash with any of the following
symptoms: fever, skin blisters, mouth sores, redness or
swelling of the eyes (conjunctivitis), swelling of the face,
lips, mouth, or throat, trouble breathing or swallowing,
pain on the right side of the stomach (abdominal) area,
and/or dark “tea-colored” urine.
• Depression or mood changes. Tell your
healthcare provider right away if you: feel sad or
hopeless, feel anxious or restless, have thoughts
of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt
yourself.
• Changes in liver enzymes. People who have
had hepatitis B or C or who have certain liver
enzyme changes may have a higher risk for new or
worse liver problems while taking ODEFSEY. Liver
problems can also happen in people who have not
had liver disease. Your healthcare provider may do
tests to check your liver enzymes before and during
treatment with ODEFSEY.
• Changes in your immune system. Your
immune system may get stronger and begin to fight
infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have
any new symptoms after you start taking ODEFSEY.
• Kidney problems, including kidney failure.
Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine
tests to check your kidneys. Your healthcare provider
may tell you to stop taking ODEFSEY if you develop
new or worse kidney problems.
• Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic
acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical
emergency that can lead to death. Tell your
healthcare provider right away if you get these
symptoms: weakness or being more tired than
usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath
or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and
vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or
lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.
• Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead
to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you
get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes
turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored
stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea,
or stomach-area pain.
• Bone problems, such as bone pain, softening, or
thinning, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare
provider may do tests to check your bones.
The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one
of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble
sleeping (insomnia), and headache.
Ask your healthcare provider if ODEFSEY is right for you.
ODEFSEY.com

The most common side effect of emtricitabine
and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in
ODEFSEY, is nausea.
Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects
that bother you or do not go away.
What should I tell my healthcare provider before
taking ODEFSEY?
• All your health problems. Be sure to tell your
healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney,
bone, mental health (depression or suicidal thoughts),
or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.
• All the medicines you take, including prescription
and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and
herbal supplements. Other medicines may affect how
ODEFSEY works. Keep a list of all your medicines and
show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.
Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take
ODEFSEY with all of your other medicines.
• If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.
It is not known if ODEFSEY can harm your unborn baby.
Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant
while taking ODEFSEY.
• If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to
breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed
to the baby in breast milk.
You are encouraged to report negative
side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA.
Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call
1-800-FDA-1088.
Please see Important Facts about
ODEFSEY, including important warnings,
on the following page.
SHOW YOUR
Take care of what matters most—you. ODEFSEY is a complete,
1-pill, once-a-day HIV-1 treatment.

WHAT IS ODEFSEY ® ?
ODEFSEY is a 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine right away if you get a rash with any of the following
used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older. IMPORTANT It
symptoms: FACTS
fever, skin blisters, mouth sores, redness or
can either be used in people who are starting HIV-1 swelling of the eyes (conjunctivitis), swelling of the face,
treatment, have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, This is only a lips, brief mouth, summary or throat, of trouble important breathing information swallowing, about
and have (oh-DEF-see)
an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral ODEFSEY ® and pain does on the not right replace side of the talking stomach your (abdominal) healthcare area,
load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL; provider or in about and/or your dark condition “tea-colored” and urine. your treatment.
people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines • Depression or mood changes. Tell your
and
MOST
whose
IMPORTANT
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INFORMATION
provider determines
ABOUT
they
ODEFSEY healthcare provider right away if you: feel sad or
meet certain requirements. These include having an hopeless, feel anxious or restless, have thoughts
undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) for
6 ODEFSEY months or may more cause on their serious current side HIV-1 effects, treatment. including:
of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt
yourself.
ODEFSEY • Worsening combines of hepatitis 3 medicines B (HBV) into 1 infection. pill taken once ODEFSEY a
• is
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illnesses, you must keep taking ODEFSEY. Ask your had liver disease. Your healthcare provider may do
healthcare ABOUT ODEFSEY provider if you have questions about how tests to check your liver enzymes before and during
to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always treatment with ODEFSEY.
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for some people who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL), have been on the same
What is the most important information I should •
HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months, have never failed HIV-1
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treatment,
problems,
and whose
including
healthcare
kidney
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failure.
know about ODEFSEY?
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ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects:
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• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection.
new or worse kidney problems.
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Do both NOT HIV-1 take and ODEFSEY HBV and if stop you: taking ODEFSEY, your
Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic
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acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical
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ODEFSEY without first talking to your healthcare
emergency ® , Epitol ® , Equetro that can ® , lead Tegretol death. ® , Tell your
provider, Tegretol-XR as they ® , Teril will ® need ), dexamethasone to monitor your (Ozurdex health.
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and
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•
provider Take the or herbal pharmacist supplement about St. medicines John’s wort. that should • Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead
not be taken with ODEFSEY. Do not start a new
to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you
• Take any other HIV-1 medicines at the same time.
medicine without telling your healthcare provider. get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes
• The herbal supplement St. John’s wort.
turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored
stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea,
• HOW Any TO other TAKE medicines ODEFSEY to treat HIV-1 infection. or stomach-area pain.
What are the other possible side effects of ODEFSEY? •
• ODEFSEY is a complete 1-pill, once-a-day HIV-1 medicine.
Bone problems, such as bone pain, softening, or
Serious side effects of ODEFSEY may also include: thinning, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare
•
• Severe
Take ODEFSEY
skin rash
with
and
a
allergic
meal.
reactions. Skin
provider may do tests to check your bones.
rash is a common side effect of ODEFSEY. Call your The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one
healthcare provider right away if you get a rash, as some of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble
GET rashes MORE and INFORMATION
allergic reactions may need to be treated in sleeping (insomnia), and headache.
a hospital. Stop taking ODEFSEY and get medical help
• This is only a brief summary of important information about ODEFSEY. Talk to your healthcare provider or
pharmacist to learn more.
• Go to ODEFSEY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5
• If you need help paying for your medicine, visit ODEFSEY.com for program information.
Ask your healthcare provider if ODEFSEY is right for you.
ODEFSEY.com
ODEFSEY, the ODEFSEY Logo, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, SHOW YOUR RADIANCE, GILEAD, and the
GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks
referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: April 2017
© 2017 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. ODEC0092 06/17

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF ODEFSEY
ODEFSEY can cause serious side effects, including:
• Those in the “Most Important Information About ODEFSEY” section.
• Severe skin rash and allergic reactions.
• Depression or mood changes.
• Changes in liver enzymes.
• Changes in your immune system.
• New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure.
• Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency
that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness
or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach
pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or
abnormal heartbeat.
• Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away
if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine,
light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.
• Bone problems.
The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble
sleeping (insomnia), and headache.
The most common side effect of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in
ODEFSEY, is nausea.
These are not all the possible side effects of ODEFSEY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you
have any new symptoms while taking ODEFSEY.
Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment
with ODEFSEY.
BEFORE TAKING ODEFSEY
Tell your healthcare provider if you:
• Have or have had any kidney, bone, mental health (depression or suicidal thoughts), or liver problems,
including hepatitis infection.
• Have any other medical condition.
Take care of what matters most—you. ODEFSEY is a complete,
•
1-pill, Are once-a-day pregnant or plan HIV-1 to become treatment. pregnant.
• Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the
risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.
Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:
• Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal
supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.
• Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY.

week in pictures
GMHC’S 27TH ANNUAL LATEX BALL, JULY 29TH

stories / GET OUT! MAGAZINE >> GETOUTMAG.COM
BY IAN-MICHAEL BERGERON
@ianmichaelinwonderland
Cat Got My Tongue
While at a house party one
Friday night, I was introduced
to a very cute boy.
He was adorable, really. Short,
tiny, blonde, tan—you just
wanted to put him in your
Marc Jacobs weekender
and take him with you to the
Hamptons. We spent a lot
of time talking at the party,
and realized we both lived off
the blue line—him 145th, me
181st.
Around 11 p.m., tipsy but not
messes, we decided to get on
the train together. I’m going
to ask him to come home with
me, I decided. Sure, sleeping
with someone before going on
an actual date often ruins the
chance of a future—but here
we are, now, and I couldn’t
stop looking at the bulge in
his tight khaki short-shorts.
“You’re really cute,” I told
him, leaning in closer, hoping
my breath didn’t smell too
strongly of tequila.
“Meow,” he smiled back.
I sat back upright. Did he
just... did he just meow at
me? No, he couldn’t have just
meowed at me.
“Meow,” he said again as we
stopped at 59th Street.
“Did you just meow at me?”
“Yeah.”
The train bustled ahead,
running express to 125th. I
didn’t know what to say.
“My ex-boyfriend used to say
I was like a puppy,” he went
on. I still didn’t know what to
say. “A cute little puppy dog.
He always called me that,
even in public. Said I always
followed him around like a
puppy.” I nodded uneasily.
“But fuck him. If I wanna be
a cat, I’ll be a cat. Meow,” he
added for effect.
I looked back down at his
bulge, but I couldn’t get his
meowing sound out of my
head. I imaged some
douchey finance type
fucking him doggy style,
moaning that he was
a good little puppy.
The thought made
me queasy as the
train lurched forward.
We stopped at 125th.
I only had one more
stop to convince him to
stay on with me up to
Washington Heights.
I was about to open my
mouth and say, “You
should just come over to
my place,” when he opened
his mouth and sang, “You’re
more like a monkey. Want a
banana?”
Nope. Nope nope nope nope
nope. I imagined us in full
furry costumes, him a cat
and me a monkey, trying to
figure out how I was
supposed to take my
penis out of the front.
“I prefer strawberries?”
was the only thing I could
think to say.
I was beyond grateful
when the door opened onto
the 145th Street platform.
“Well, see you later!” he said,
skipping away.
I got home and went to bed,
too phased to even jerk off.
My cat Thomas jumped onto
the bed and meowed for
attention; I locked him outside
of the bedroom for the night.
PHOTO BY STEVE BRENNAN

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BY EILEEN SHAPIRO
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT
With an amaranthine array of records and an endless eternity of concerts and
tours, Cheap Trick continues its deathless and perpetual relevance with its new
release, “We’re All Alright,” a powerful and enthusiastic album, the title making
reference to the band’s classic hit, “Surrender.”
Having originated in 1973 with their
very first album released in 1977, Cheap
Trick continues to be be one of the most
celebrated and covered bands in history.
Best known for hits including “Surrender,” “I
Want You to Want Me,” “Dream Police” and
“The Flame,” the faction was inducted into
The Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame in 2016. Band
members include Robin Zander, singing lead
vocals, playing rhythm guitar and keys; Rick
Nielsen, playing lead guitar, singing backup
and playing keyboards; Tom Petersson on the
bass and backing vocals; and Rick’s son Daxx
on the drums, singing backup as well.
I was honored to have had a conversation
with iconic guitarist Nielsen, who was
hysterical and exceedingly handsome (I
promised him I would say that). Mesmerized
by his humor and effervescence, we spoke
about rock ‘n’ roll, inspirations and future
intentions.
Rick Nielsen
Thank you for speaking
with me first of all, and if
there are any questions
that you’re tired of
answering, just tell me
you can’t deal with it.
I can’t deal with anything.
In a time where it’s
difficult for artists today
to stay relevant for 40
seconds, how is it that
Cheap Trick still remains
musically pertinent and
significant after 40+
years?
We are? We’re relevant? I
think we just do what we
do, and we don’t try to
be somebody else. When
you try to be somebody
else or try to be something
or try to figure out what’s
going on in the world … we
just do what we do. I tell
people, I don’t think we’ve
ever progressed.
Looking back on your
very first album, “Cheap
Trick,” is there anything
that you would have
done differently if you
had today’s technology at
your disposal?
Maybe something we did in
our live show. We thought
we were going to have this
great mechanical eye, like
“Spinal Tap,” and we never
used it after.

You’ve seen music go
from vinyl to digital. Do
you have any thoughts on
how the state of the music
industry has changed?
Oh, there is a music
industry? Oh, wow! Cheap
Trick is still working, and
we’ll keep making records,
like we’ve done for the last
20 years. We’re too dumb to
quit doing what we do.
Do you have a favorite
question that you’ve been
asked?
Yeah, is this the last
question?
I ask a lot of artists this
question. Do you have an
ultimate stage fantasy?
I think we’d have an audio/
visual thing going on about
Cheap Trick while we’re
on stage, and the camera
would make me look
handsome.
You mean you haven’t
done that yet?
I don’t think I’m handsome
yet, so we’re working on
that.
I think you’re handsome.
That’s all I need to know.
I’ve read that you’re one
of the most covered bands
in the world. Who do you
most like to cover?
We do a lot of Roy Wood.
You’re constantly touring.
What is it that you like
best about leading the
rock star life?
Not much. We like to play,
and we’ve been able to
do this for a long time.
Wonderful news.
Let’s talk about your
new release. It’s kind of
different.
That’s what we like. That’s
what we like to hear.
What inspired the record?
The fact that we were
asked to do it. We were
asked, “You guys wanna do
another record?” Hell, yeah!
So that’s what we did. It’s all
good news.
I understand you’re also
doing a Christmas album.
What’s going to be on
that one?
Christmas songs. Some old,
some new. It’s all fun stuff.
Is there a song that never
fails to evoke emotion
when you hear it?
I like “Salty Dog” by Procol
Harum. Look that one up.
Do you have an idol?
Billy Idol. I don’t know. I
like him. He’s funny. We
toured with him last year in
Australia and New Zealand.
I saw you when you toured
with Rick Springfield.
I don’t know if that was a
tour. We did some shows
with him.
Do you recall your
proudest moment as an
artist?
I got to work with John
Lennon. That was pretty
cool.
Wow! That so cool.
Yeah, not bad, huh? He was
very cool. It was an honor.
Were you nervous?
No. I think he was. We had a
good time together,
You were recently
inducted into The Rock ‘n’
Roll Hall of Fame. What
was that like?
That was quite an honor,
I think. If my parents were
alive, I could say, “Hey, look,
I made it!”

What’s the craziest thing
that’s ever happened to
you live?
Playing with The Who. That
might have been it. I’ve
done a few things with them.
Once again, it’s an honor to
do it. How do you explain
something that you do, that
you love, and you’re lucky
enough that you get to do
it? It’s hard to explain, but
it’s like pretty darn cool. I
think I made Pete Townsend
nervous too.
I noticed that you will
be playing at The Greek
Theatre in California.
That’s a big deal.
We’ve played there a bunch
of times. Do you know what
the best thing about playing
at The Greek Theatre is?
What?
Well, after the show, you
could go eat at In-N-Out
Burger. ... That’s the only
thing you didn’t laugh
about. You must like the
burgers.
Never tried one, but I’m
thinking about it because
of you.
Then you better get out of
Brooklyn. They don’t deliver.
Is there any advice that
you would give to “Baby
Rick,” knowing what you
do now?
Practice. Practice more.
Keep practicing. Don’t stop.
Do you write most of the
songs for the band?
Sometimes. We all write.
Like the album, “We All
Alright!”
Is there a favorite song
that you’ve written?
I haven’t written it yet.
There are a million new
artists out there hoping
to become rich and
famous. Is there any
advice that you could
give them?
Yeah. I think that they
should all do at least one
Cheap Trick record on
every one of their records.
That would really help
them. They can pick any
one they want.
What do you want to be
remembered for most?
Never dying.
You probably won’t.
Then I have nothing to
worry about.
So you’re never going
to die, and you’re very
handsome.
Wow, so you did listen to
me.
This is the funniest
interview ever.
Then we better stop now. I
don’t wanna ruin it.
Facebook:
facebook.com/cheaptrick
Twitter:
@cheaptrick