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Newcastle News Oct 2017

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Feature<br />

• I do understand the detailed advice<br />

which you have given me but I might<br />

nevertheless decide to do something<br />

different. It might be more important<br />

to me not to upset someone, or to get<br />

things sorted out within a short<br />

timescale.<br />

• I know you don’t have a crystal ball,<br />

but I need your best guess as to how<br />

long it is all going to take and what it<br />

will cost. I won’t throw my teddy in the<br />

corner if it turns out different, so long<br />

as you give me some warning.<br />

• I want you to tell me what I should<br />

do. I don’t particularly want to know<br />

very much about what the law is. If I<br />

wanted to know the law, I would have<br />

gone to law school.<br />

When he introduces us to Mr. Vholes,<br />

Dickens gives us a crushing indictment<br />

of the whole English legal system. He<br />

says:<br />

“The one great principle of the English<br />

law is, to make business for itself. There is<br />

no other principle distinctly, certainly,<br />

and consistently maintained through all<br />

its narrow turnings. Viewed by this light<br />

it becomes a coherent scheme, and not<br />

the monstrous maze the laity are apt to<br />

think it. Let them but once clearly<br />

perceive that its grand principle is to<br />

make business for itself at their expense,<br />

and surely they will cease to grumble”.<br />

The trouble is that many people think<br />

that this is, literally, true. Many clients<br />

start with the perception that the<br />

reason it is all so complicated, and<br />

there are so many rules, is so that we<br />

lawyers can make money charging for<br />

letters to and fro. Of course, we do<br />

charge for letters to and fro, so they<br />

aren’t wrong about that: what is wrong<br />

is the sense they have that we are<br />

deliberately inflating the process, the<br />

language, the sheer impenetrability of<br />

the thing, purely so that we can look<br />

good, and charge accordingly, for<br />

leading our clients through the<br />

“monstrous maze”. Our challenge is to<br />

explain to the client what we are<br />

actually doing and what is the point of<br />

us, without writing three-page letters<br />

explaining case law as if we were<br />

entering a prize essay competition at<br />

law school. Trying to see it from the<br />

client’s point of view, and using plain<br />

language is the way forward, although<br />

it’s easier said than done: I once had a<br />

client complain that he didn’t<br />

understand the phrase “save for” which<br />

I had used.<br />

“Save for? That’s easy, it means ‘except’<br />

“.<br />

“Why don’t you say ‘except’, then?”<br />

I wasn’t able to answer that one.<br />

Ursula Collie<br />

EMG Solicitors Ltd<br />

AlphaBiolabs<br />

Bigger and better than before<br />

This month sees the launch of our new-look logo and<br />

revamped website. Our fully-comprehensive web pages still<br />

outline all the DNA, drugs and alcohol testing services that we<br />

offer, but we’ve made it easier to navigate. Our client base is<br />

diverse and wide ranging. It includes members of the public,<br />

businesses, family and immigration law solicitors, social<br />

services, academic institutions and even the media. Now, it will<br />

be easier for each and every one of our customers to find the<br />

right test they need. The public will access our Peace of Mind<br />

and home test kits. Our legal clients will save time by going<br />

direct to the relevant legal pages, each subdivided into the<br />

relevant headings: immigration, local authority, sample<br />

collection. We even have the option of instant quotes at the<br />

push of a button.<br />

Since it was established in 2004, AlphaBiolabs has consistently<br />

led in its field by investing in state-of-the-art testing services,<br />

winning awards and gaining accreditations for the quality of its<br />

work. And we continue to innovate the testing industry. This<br />

month also sees the launch of our SCRAM Continuous Alcohol<br />

Monitoring® (SCRAM CAM®) alcohol-testing bracelet. Worn on<br />

the ankle, the unique bracelet tests for the presence of alcohol<br />

in perspiration every 30 minutes. Alphabiolabs is confident that<br />

this form of continuous monitoring will provide local<br />

authorities, courts and child-protection agencies with the tools<br />

to change behaviours in alcohol-dependent clients.<br />

“There’s lots going on at AlphaBiolabs”, said Managing Director<br />

David Thomas. “It’s an exciting time for the company and we<br />

encourage our customers to keep an eye out for all the new<br />

services and innovations via our new-look website.”<br />

<strong>Newcastle</strong> <strong>News</strong> 7

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