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Reflections - cover2

Selected Writings & Artwork by Harriett Copeland Lillard

11

A Journey not Measured in Miles - 1949 their foreheads. His hands were in constant motion – waving, pointing, jabbing, signaling – the thick gold ring with its big diamond made a shiny, sparkly arc in the stinking, dusty air. He drove too fast, drank too much, screwed too many women. He was at a different sale barn every day of the week. On Sunday, he preached at some off-brand fundamental church. My God, he was irresistible! ˜ Her mother’s voice split the chilled February air. She gave an involuntary jump and huddled into her red coat and waited, making no response. It wouldn’t be long now until she was found. She wanted her mother to find her, to see her pain – she wished she could explain why she hurt so badly AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA inside, but she didn’t have the words. She knew it had something to do with the constant quarrels and dull unhappiness that sometimes erupted into frightening violence between her parents. She knew they both loved her – she understood that – she just wished they could love each other. She felt so isolated, without anyone to share her fears. Was there no joy or fun anywhere? Dick and Jane always seemed so happy and full of fun. She wore out the pages of her first-grade reader looking at the pictures of that perfect family. She searched their faces for the secret, but it remained hidden. She felt a vague resentment and a terrible longing to share their easy laughter. This was sale day and her mother was anxious to get her to school so she could get out to the office at the sale barn. Her face appeared above the small, crumpled figure sitting in the ditch. Well, this was the last straw, she thought with exasperation. What in the world is wrong with her, crying every day before school? I don’t know what to do with her. The two pairs of eyes met- one pair hard with suppressed anger, the other soft with tears squeezed through wet lashes. “Get out of that ditch! Look at you! Grass stuck all over your good coat! Run to the house and wash your face. Don’t forget to blow your nose. And hurry up, we’re already late.” As the little girl ran wordlessly into the house, her mother looked around quickly to see if anyone had observed this little scene. All the houses across the road looked like blank faces. She supposed no one had seen or heard. Cars sped along the highway which bordered the yard on the other side of the house. Safe on that side, anyway. My word, the ditch! Well, at least she has a sense of the dramatic… a small smile escaped the pinched mouth. She turned and walked up the small embankment towards the driveway. Married to a man whom she didn’t love, she was beginning to reflect her desperation – her face often had the tight look of suppressed frustration. She was attractive; although certainly not beautiful, she had a certain style. Tall, slender, with beautiful legs and breasts, her facial features bordered on severity. A bout with pneumonia at the age of four had left her with a badly crossed eye which she controlled by sheer force of will and by never taking her glasses off, until the lights were out, and putting them on immediately in the morning. Into the car, out of the driveway, then up the gravel road to the school house. Lord! This is a hicktown. Just look at that school – all twelve grades Opposite, Harriett's mother, Jassamine (also known as 'Jackie' or 'Jap') 12

  • Page 1: Reflections Selected Writings & Art
  • Page 4 and 5: This book is dedicated to the memor
  • Page 6 and 7: Introduction Before launching headf
  • Page 8 and 9: Collected Writings 1
  • Page 10 and 11: 68 Spilt Milk 3
  • Page 12 and 13: Spilt Milk little girl’s world th
  • Page 14 and 15: A Journey not Measured in Miles 7
  • Page 16 and 17: Part I 1949 9
  • Page 20 and 21: A Journey not Measured in Miles - 1
  • Page 22 and 23: Part II Rash 15
  • Page 24 and 25: 17
  • Page 26 and 27: A Journey not Measured in Miles - R
  • Page 28 and 29: 21
  • Page 30 and 31: A Journey not Measured in Miles - R
  • Page 32 and 33: 25
  • Page 34 and 35: A Journey not Measured in Miles - R
  • Page 36 and 37: 29
  • Page 38 and 39: 31
  • Page 40 and 41: A Journey not Measured in Miles - R
  • Page 42 and 43: 35
  • Page 44 and 45: A Journey not Measured in Miles - R
  • Page 46 and 47: A Journey not Measured in Miles - R
  • Page 48 and 49: Epilogue Isolation 41
  • Page 50 and 51: A Journey not Measured in Miles - E
  • Page 52 and 53: Rocks in my Laundry Basket Chapters
  • Page 54 and 55: Rocks in my Laundry Basket - By Way
  • Page 56 and 57: Rocks in my Laundry Basket - Nestin
  • Page 58 and 59: Rocks in my Laundry Basket - Nestin
  • Page 60 and 61: Rocks in my Laundry Basket - Birthi
  • Page 62 and 63: Rocks in my Laundry Basket - Birthi
  • Page 64 and 65: Diary entries 1978 - 1981 57
  • Page 66 and 67: Diary 1978-1981 dead. There’s not
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    Diary 1978-1981 The Big Blues Febru

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    63

  • Page 72 and 73:

    Mexico Mexico is a trip in more way

  • Page 74 and 75:

    Football Fever 67

  • Page 76 and 77:

    Observation Post She sat at the tab

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    Observation Post She noted with ple

  • Page 80 and 81:

    Reflections 73

  • Page 82 and 83:

    Reflections pleasures. The reflecte

  • Page 84 and 85:

    Renaissance The minute examination

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    The Funeral 79

  • Page 88 and 89:

    Me and Virginia Woolf 81

  • Page 90 and 91:

    Me and Virginia Woolf for all of us

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    Thoughts on being a Lady At a time

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    Thoughts on being a Lady we’re ho

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    Thoughts on being a Lady Looking ba

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    Fourteen Women 91

  • Page 100 and 101:

    Rosie 93

  • Page 102 and 103:

    Chloé 95

  • Page 104 and 105:

    Purple Thistle 97

  • Page 106 and 107:

    Letter to my Free Spirit November 1

  • Page 108 and 109:

    Letter to Carol December 1988 101

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    Color palette no. 1 1980-85 103

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    151 Landscapes ˜ Watercolor, acryl

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    Winter mountains Montana 1965 107

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    Storms brewing in the mountains Mon

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    111 Winter trees Montana 1965

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    113 Fall trees no. 2 Texas 1984

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    Native American series - Tepee Vill

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    117 Village life Mexico 1967

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    Village abstract Mexico 1967 Opposi

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    Bell peppers no. 1 1984-86 121

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    Fruits and vegetables no. 2 1984-86

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    Fruits and vegetables no. 4 1984-86

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    127 Flower arrangement no. 2 1984-8

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    129 Flower arrangement no. 4 1984-8

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    131 Petunias 1984-86

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    133 Iris 1984-86

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    135 Bone study no. 1 1984-85

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    Shell study no. 1 1984-85 137

  • Page 146 and 147:

    Glass vases 1984-85 Opposite, Femal

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    Female lying down no. 2 1984-85 141

  • Page 150 and 151:

    Female lying down no. 4 1984-85 143

  • Page 152 and 153:

    145 Female sitting no. 2 1984-85

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    147 Female standing 1984-85

  • Page 156 and 157:

    149 Male sitting no. 2 1984-85

  • Page 158 and 159:

    151 Male standing no. 1 1984-85

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    153 Couple no. 1 1984-85

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    155 Leg study 1984-85

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    Foot study no. 2 1984-85 157

  • Page 166 and 167:

    Arm 1984-85 159

  • Page 168 and 169:

    Hand study no. 2 1984-85 161

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    Girl in profile 1980-85 163

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    165 Little girl no. 1, pencil 1980-

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    167 Self portrait in profile Date u

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    169 Girl no. 2 watercolor 1985

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    171 Girl no. 4 watercolor 1985

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    Girls no. 2 watercolor 1985 Opposit

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    Day to evening styles - bright colo

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    Casual day styles - mixed colors no

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    Evening wear 1984-86 179

  • Page 188 and 189:

    Knee length patterned dress styles

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    Pastel dresses no. 1 1984-86 183

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    Dancers 1984-86 185

  • Page 194 and 195:

    Day to evening dress styles 1984-86

  • Page 196 and 197:

    Sage green and patterned beige busi

  • Page 198 and 199:

    Plaid dresses 1984-86 191

  • Page 200 and 201:

    Wedding dresses 1984-86 193

  • Page 202 and 203:

    Blue business and day styles 1984-8

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    197 Purple dress no.1 1980-86

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    Harriett's designs on the runway 19

  • Page 208 and 209:

    Abstracts ˜ pen, watercolor & mixe

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    203 Purple geometric abstract no. 1

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    Purple geometric abstract no. 3 198

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    207 Block color abstract 1967

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    Contemporary watercolor 1984-85 209

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    Newspaper collage 1984-85 Opposite,

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    213 Color palette no. 3 1984-86

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    Color palette no. 5 1980-85 215

  • Page 224 and 225:

    Native American series - preparator

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    Summer trees (Texas) - preparatory

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    Image Credits p. 3 Credit NPR p. 6

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    Epilogue In August 2016, I spent a

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    HARRIETT GWYNETHE COPELAND LILLARD