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(Hj Criminal ReC© r d<br />
by Mike Lebson<br />
First of all, let me just say that the only country where I<br />
could have legitimately gotten in trouble with the law was<br />
Jordan. In Russia and Egypt I was innocent, I swear!<br />
I guess the students of the One-Year Party have an international<br />
reputation for trouble-making, because in every country outside<br />
of Israel that I toured this year, I had run-ins with the law. In<br />
October I toured Russia for 3 Vi weeks. I learned a lot during<br />
that time, including how the “law” works in Russia: it doesn’t. Mike (left) bringing out his feminine<br />
side with travel partner Eyal<br />
I met an Australian backpacker in my hostel the second<br />
day I was in Moscow, and we decided to tour the capital together. Our first stop was to be<br />
Lenin’s body (preserved and heavily guarded on Red Square for your viewing pleasure). As we<br />
were walking toward the Metro station in our usual happy-go-lucky, Ha-ha-communism-felland-capitalism-didn’t<br />
way, we crossed a wide road to get to the other side. Just as we were<br />
poised to enter the Metro station, the police closed in on us in a high-precision sting operation....<br />
Ok, so one G.A.I. (traffic cop) stopped us, took our passports and visas, and ordered us into his<br />
unmarked van. Since he had a submachine gun and our only means of international identification,<br />
we were forced to obey, despite much protesting and an attempted 10-ruble - about 68<br />
cents U.S. at the time - bribe (hey, we’re cheap). After a half hour of interrogation in the van<br />
(interspersed with offers of vodka and beer which we declined), we learned the ultimatum: 300<br />
rubles ($20 U.S.) each, or be booked at the police station and released for free. Our crime?<br />
Crossing the street at a place other than a crosswalk.<br />
Being the shrewd backpackers that we were, my Australian friend and I opted for the<br />
police station. After another fifteen minutes or so, it became clear that we had accidentally<br />
called his bluff, and we finally got to leave for free (which, I found out later, is extremely rare...<br />
so don’t try this at home, kids).<br />
My encounter with the Egyptian law in February did not require as much<br />
fierce mental strategy, but rather driveling pleas for mercy: while my friend<br />
Eyal and I were waiting for the Metro train - which seems to be the only<br />
common denominator with my Russian quasi-arrest - in Cairo, I decided on a<br />
whim to take a picture of a clock with Arabic numerals hanging from the<br />
ceiling. (Hey, admit it, that’s a pretty neat picture!) An astute young soldier<br />
noticed my felony, and promptly marched me to his commander upstairs.<br />
Clock in Egypt This time, at the wise suggestion of Eyal, I had surrendered my student ID<br />
card instead of my passport. Drawing from a wealth of knowledge of Arabic (“Ana khawagga”<br />
- “I am a dumb tourist”) gleaned from my Let’s Go guide, I was released with a wag of the<br />
finger and a snicker. My crime? Pictures are forbidden in the Metro.<br />
Jordan is a little different story. Travelling alone, I decided to save time and money, both<br />
of which were running low, by sleeping inside one of the ancient caves carved into the rock face<br />
of the old city of Petra. This wasn’t exactly “legal”, but I couldn’t see it hurting anybody. It<br />
must have looked strange, though, leaving at 7:30 in the morning when all the other tourists were<br />
coming in, because a man with an authoritative air (which is often the only way to tell who is in<br />
charge in Egypt or Jordan) stopped me and sternly asked if I had slept in Petra. Once again the<br />
Quick Thinker, I told him that I had just entered, and now I was leaving again because I did not<br />
feel well. He grunted and I kept walking quickly, clutching my stomach for emphasis.<br />
I really can’t extract a common moral from my international run-ins with the law, other<br />
than: When the police stop you for no good reason, don’t get too worried. :-)