FLIPBOOKSenior

26
Talking to Mom
About an Assisted
Living Residence
Chuck Bongiovanni, MSW, MBA, CSA- CarePatrol
Talking to Mom About Assisted Living
Very few seniors want to leave the homes where
they may have been living for decades, but as their
age advances, the necessity of doing so may increase
until the issue can no longer be ignored. Household
matriarchs may be extremely reluctant to leave
the family home and all of its associated memories.
However, when it is time to have that heartfelt talk
with mom, a few words of advice can help to alleviate
any difficulties.
Consider the Need
The first step in talking to mom about a possible
move to an assisted living residence, is to consider the
need for it. Make a list of the pros and cons associated
with moving. If the advantages are overwhelming,
then the talk cannot be avoided. However, it is also
necessary to consider what type of facility is required.
Large, apartment-type buildings may be ideal,
CarePatrol of Savannah/Hilton Head
Find Safe, Quality Living Options
Call 912.737.0020
www.CarePatrol.com
but small, family-based facilities and nursing homes
should also be considered.
Ease Into the Topic
Before initiating a deep discussion, it is helpful to
nonchalantly bring up the idea a few times several
months beforehand. This can take the form of a simple
mention of other options after mom has experienced
a difficult situation, but you will want to wait a day or
two after an incident occurs.
Timing is Important
The best time to talk to mom about assisted living is
when she is comfortable and her mind naturally takes
her to some of the factors that are making her life sad,
difficult or lonely. Gently bringing up the topic at such
a time may be received as practical advice instead of
as an attack.
Discussion Ideas
The discussion about moving may be helped by
gathering information about her friends, who are
already living in an assisted living community. Mom
will be more open about visiting a community, where
she will have one or more instant friends.
Other topics, which may help in the discussion,
include reviewing the safety features of the assisted
living community and engaging her in discussing the
ease of upkeep to the living spaces, the level of privacy
in personal quarters, and the daily social activities
available in the pubic areas.
Finally, give mom some time to consider the information
you have given to her. If she is still reluctant
after a few days, ask for help from friends and family
members.
If the incidents prompting a discussion regarding
assisted living are severe or if they occur frequently,
a simple mention should be upgraded to touring a
facility. In non-emergency situations, you can take
no for an answer the first few times.
Jane Hart, CSA . janeh@carepatrol.com . 912-438-1036 (mobile)