9 months ago

Better Man

Day 18 Find Your N.U.Ts

Day 18 Find Your N.U.Ts Editor’s Note: This section written by Wayne Levine. This exercise fits nicely into the project, as it builds on our first task, which was to find our core values. Your N.U.T.s are the specific and concrete terms that spring from those general core values. For example, if one of your core values is fitness, then something like, “I will workout 6 times a week no matter what,” might be one of your N.U.T.s. Let Wayne explain more. One of the most important challenges facing every good man who wants to be better is to know exactly what he’s committed to. Without a clear understanding of what is acceptable and what is not, a man is untethered, and likely to find himself down a path of compromise, resentment, and despair. So, what’s a better man to do? Find his N.U.Ts and maintain a firm grasp. N.U.Ts are your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms. N.U.Ts are the things you’re committed to, the things that matter more than anything else: your kids, your career, your primary relationships, yourself, your purpose, your spiritual practice, your hobbies, your integrity, your morals, and your psychological well-being. N.U.Ts are the boundaries that define you as man, those things which, if repeatedly compromised, will gradually – but assuredly – turn you into a pissed-off, resentful man who will likely blame others for your unhappiness. Your N.U.Ts are uniquely yours. They reflect who you are as a man and the man you want to be. Compromise your N.U.Ts, and you’ll compromise yourself. Compromise yourself too often, and you’ll become an extremely unhappy man, husband, and father.