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10 months ago

Better Man

30 Days to a better man

30 Days to a better man 2. Weight, height, blood pressure, and temperature. When you first walk in, a nurse will probably weigh you, measure your height, and take your blood pressure and temperature readings. They’ll probably take your pulse too just to check you’re alive and not a zombie. 3. Getting naked. Depending on the doctor, you’ll then probably be asked to strip down and put on those goofy aprons that leave your butt hanging out for the world to see. This gives the doc easy access to examine all of your man parts. 4. Skin exam. The doctor will come in and start checking out your skin. He’ll be looking for weird moles, paleness, yellowish tinges, rashes, and dryness. 5. Your ugly mug. Your doctor will check your face for things like puffy eyes and swollen glands near your throat, which could indicate a thyroid problem. 6. Open your mouth and say “ahhhh….” Your mouth can reveal a lot about your overall health. If your lips are cracking and all red, it may mean you have a vitamin B deficiency. He’ll also take a look at your gums and teeth to see what sort of shape they’re in. Finally, he’ll look to the back of your throat to see if there’s any swelling. If you smoke, he might be looking for signs of throat cancer. 7. Your eyes and ears. The doc will switch off the lights and bust out some tools called an ophthalmoscope and an otoscope. They’re lighted instruments used to examine your eyes and ears respectively. Your doctor will be looking for inflammation in your ears or maybe a perforation of the ear drum. You also might be subjected to a sound test to check your hearing. In addition to checking your eyes with the ophthalmoscope, you’ll probably be given a vision test that will involve reading an eye chart. 120

Brett and Kate McKay 8. Listening to your ticker. The doctor will use his stethoscope to listen to your heart and look for any abnormal sounds that might indicate an enlarged heart or a defect with your heart valves. He’ll also listen to your lungs and check for any wheezing, crackling, or gurgling sounds. 9. Pushing your gut. You’ll be asked to lie down so the doctor can press down on different parts of your abdomen. He’ll ask you if you feel any tenderness as he presses down in different areas. He’s looking for any possible fluid accumulation or abnormal masses. The doctor is also looking to see if your spleen and liver are in the right place. 10. You got nerve, man. The doctor will check your nervous system by basically having you do the sobriety test that police officers use. He’ll ask that you walk in a straight line, close your eyes, touch your nose with both fingers, etc. You’ll also test your reflexes with that little reflex hammer. While you’re up, the doctor might also have you bend down and touch your toes to 1) check your flexibility and 2) check your spine. 11. Checking the boys. If you’re under the age of 40, your doctor will give you a testicular exam. He’ll also probably ask you to turn your head and cough while he holds onto your balls to check to see if you have a hernia. 12. Let go of your decency…. if you’re over 40, the doctor will likely check your prostate for signs of prostate cancer. The doctor will place his fingers inside your rectum and check your prostate for tumors. While he’s up there, the doc will also check for signs of rectum cancer. 13. Checking your bodily fluids. When you’re done in the examining room, you’ll put your clothes back on, and be sent to the lab where they’ll take all sorts of liquid from your body. Blood will be taken to test your cholesterol, your blood cell count, and your glucose level. A man’s urine can tell a lot about his health, so you’ll also be asked to pee in a cup. 121