10 months ago

Living With Loss

2 spiral?” lamented

2 spiral?” lamented British author C.S. Lewis during the months following his beloved wife’s death. Here are ten tips for dealing with loss and experiencing grief recovery. 1 Begin by Believing You Will Get Better Although the initial pain when someone dies is intense and deep, people do adjust, recover and move forward. Consider these comments from psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers. In her book, Positive Plus, she shares this memory after her beloved husband, Milton, died: “I was convinced that nothing would ever be right again, so firmly convinced that I could have sworn on my daughter’s head that life would never be worth living again. But I was wrong. Little by little, almost without my realizing it, life did get better. One day I found myself laughing. It was as if I had walked out of the shadows into the sunshine. A part of me will always be missing. But I am happy again, and a little wiser.” It will help if you remind yourself that God has created you to heal from wounds. Believe and claim for yourself these assurances found in Scripture: “He [the Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). “I will

… bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick” (Ezekiel 34:16). “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13). 2 Explore and Express Your Feelings Bereavement will force many unfamiliar feelings on you. Do not be afraid of them. Don’t run away from them. Express and explore them through journal writing, in a support group, or with a counselor skilled in grief issues. Confronting and challenging your feelings is the only way to manage them. Denying or avoiding the pain only magnifies it. “A suppressed grief chokes and seethes within, multiplying its strength,” observed Ovid, the ancient Roman poet. 3 Connect with Others in Similar Circumstances “The people most able to give us encouragement in facing such sorrows and fears, not surprisingly, have been those who have been through similar grief,” says one man grieving the loss of his 24-year-old daughter who was killed in an auto accident. Try joining a support group. If there is not one in your community, connect informally with others who have had similar loss. That can be done through telephone contact or conversations in homes, parks or other places. 3

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