Attitude makes a difference

coachmartinrichards

Can the classmates' attitude towards making mistakes affect your achievement? Here's how to powerfully demonstrate the connection between attitude and achievement.

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The Coach in the Classroom

Written by Co-Active Coach Martin Richards

The purpose of this book is to explore the question:

What happens when you use a coaching

approach in an educational environment?

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Contents

Contents.......................................................................................................2

Acknowledgements....................................................................................3

What is a Coaching Approach?................................................................4

Developing your coaching approach skills.............................................4

How to use this Book.................................................................................5

Coincidences................................................................................................9

Chapter 1: Inspiring Teenagers...............................................................27

Chapter 2: Attitude Makes a Difference................................................57

Chapter 3: Two Teachers’ Strategies......................................................75

Chapter 4: Classroom Fight.....................................................................93

Chapter 5: Give Up and Continue........................................................107

Chapter 6: Reading Aloud from the Book...........................................123

Chapter 7: More Talk, Less Control.....................................................139

Chapter 8: Wake Up Call.......................................................................169

Chapter 9: The Juvenile Criminal.........................................................187

Chapter 10: The Ambassador................................................................207

The Midwinter Vigil...............................................................................227

All rights reserved.

Copyright 2017, (c) Martin Richards, Gothenburg, Sweden.

Web www.martinrichards.eu

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Acknowledgements

This book is the result of many collaborations, collaboration with the

many fictional characters portrayed in this book and collaboration

with real, living people, of whom the following deserve heartfelt

and special mentions:

Hetty Brand Boswijk, CPCC, for partnering with me in

our quest to write a book together. It is an ongoing

journey of learnings and revelations.

Michele Helman, CPCC, for accelerating and easing

the final stages of writing, reading and supportively

commenting on the need for this book to be published.

Elizabeth Nostedt, ACC, DTM, PMP for proofing and

commenting on an early version of the manuscript.

Vicky Jo Varner, PCC, CPCC, for repeatedly and

meticulously proofing and commenting on the later

manuscripts.

Jenny Geuken, for the original cover artwork.

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What is a Coaching Approach?

Certified coaches use a coaching approach, on the inside. A coaching

approach names what is happening inside their bodies and inside

their minds, while they are coaching. It could be called the hidden

skill of coaching, because it’s hidden. It is not always visible in what

they do, nor audible in what they say. It is, however, apparent in

what they do not do, and what they do not say. Certified coaches do

not, for example, judge the person they are coaching. That takes

practice. Nor do they offer their opinions or experience. That takes

even more practice. Not judging and not giving advice are two of

the most powerful hidden coaching skills. There are coaching skills

that are visible and audible, they include: asking great questions,

and listening actively.

Teaching using a 'Coaching Approach' is carrying out the work of a

teacher and 'making use of the skills of a coach'. The combination is

awesome.

Teachers who use a coaching approach, interact with students in an

authentic, self-developing, reflective manner. A description of the

coach's mind-set appears gradually in all the stories in this book, an

especially in Anthony's notes at the start of each campfire story.

Developing your coaching approach skills

Whatever your professional background, the best places to start

developing your coaching approach are the the hidden skills of:






Active listening

Non-judgement

Holding back personal opinions and advice

Being comfortable with not knowing what is right or wrong

Not knowing what will happen next.

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Riccardo

Midwinter’s

Tales

of

The Coach in the Classroom

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Chapter 2: Attitude Makes a Difference

Riccardo prepared for one of his first lecture assignments at a high

school. The email that Harriet, the English teacher, had sent him set

out the purpose of the lecture as providing the students support in

giving presentations, in English. She had asked Riccardo to talk

about 'Criteria for Effective Presentations' or 'Essential Presentation

Skills'.

Riccardo was prepared to give a talk. He was also willing to give a

presentation and receive feedback from the students according to

the predetermined criteria. He was prepared to do that, or to be

guided by whatever questions or issues that surfaced from the

students during the lecture.

Riccardo made his way to the high school by public transport as

usual.

The teacher, Harriet, met Riccardo at the staff room where she

offered him a cup of coffee. Harriet was a tall woman of about thirty

years, with long blonde hair that hung over her fresh, wild face. Her

narrow amber eyes, set lightly within their sockets, scanned

endlessly over Riccardo’s face. As Harriet walked Riccardo to the

classroom, her flawless navy blue skirt catching the breeze as she

moves, she shared with him her concerns about her students’

unwillingness to give presentations to the rest of the class.

Her voice betrayed a sense of submission, "This school is located in

an area that has a high proportion of families with one or both

parents unemployed, you know. Everyone knows that teenagers

who leave this school after their compulsory education, go directly

into unemployment, where they remain until they move away from

the family home into subsidized housing and start families of their

own. The school has a reputation for having poorly motivated

students who obtain few passing grades and receive low grades in

the core subjects."

Riccardo smiled and waited.

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Harriet’s voice grated on Riccardo’s ears as she set herself up for

some kind of admission, "At this school, all the experienced teachers

have worked here forever, for more than fifteen years anyway. The

younger, recently-qualified teachers, like me, likely stay for a year or

two before moving on to other less-demanding posts elsewhere."

"Then why was I really invited here?" wondered Riccardo.

Riccardo asked, "What's your reason for inviting me?"

Harriet rallied as she gave the official reason for inviting Riccardo,

"It's important for the students’ language development to be able to

give a presentation of some kind. And, it's part of the school’s

assessment process that the students are expected to stand up and

speak in front of an audience. They have tried giving presentations

three times now and it went from bad to worse. At first, only a few

of the students tried, but after the feedback none of them wanted to

try again. The presentations will affect their grades and I cannot

ignore them."

Riccardo inquired about Harriet’s relationship with the class as a

whole. "What are they like to teach?" he asked.

Harriet replied with a few well-chosen words. "Sullen. Aggressive.

Hurtful." she said. "In most lessons, they don’t listen to each other,

they interrupt and are generally rude. When it comes to

presentations they become quiet. A moody, sullen silence falls over

them and they can become vocal and aggressive when I pressure

them to prepare to give a presentation."

"So what’s really going on here? What is it like for this teacher to give a

presentation to the class? How do the students feel when listening to their

teacher?" asked Riccardo's inner voice.

When they arrived at the classroom, the students were already in the

room, mostly seated in their places. Harriet asked for quiet and then

presented Riccardo to the class. Riccardo stepped to centre stage and

began speaking.

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"My name is Riccardo. I am a business communications consultant.

In my work, I give presentations and I train other people to give

presentations." Riccardo projected the first slide 'Criteria for

Effective Presentations' and waited.

The few students who were looking at him seemed unimpressed by

his initial words. Riccardo scanned the room for the informal

leaders. There were several candidates; some returned his gaze with

curiosity, others were keeping eye contact with their classmates,

occasionally looking over at Riccardo. Their facial expressions and

body language telegraphed that they felt confident in front of their

classmates.

Riccardo shared a little more. "Presentations are my ‘thing’. I’m here

to share with you what I know about presentations. He showed the

next slide 'Essential Presentation Skills' and paused.

"But first let me ask, what would you like to know?" Riccardo asked,

and waited patiently.

Their silence spoke volumes about their lack of willingness to ask for

what they wanted or needed. Their looks left Riccardo with a

mixture of fear and dread in the pit of his stomach.

"I feel their fear," the voice observed. "It’s time to bring that fear into the

light," Riccardo replied. "There’s no point telling them not to be afraid;

there is no point telling them that being afraid is a big disadvantage in

their lives. I will have to make the point another way."

By turning the concept of 'fear' inside out and finding 'courage,'

Riccardo realized he needed to help them to be courageous.

"Yes, courage would be a positive way forward," Riccardo’s inner voice

concluded.

But telling them wouldn’t help matters; it would be much better to

demonstrate, to inspire them to be courageous.

"So I will look for the courage in the informal leaders," thought

Riccardo.

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Looking into the students’ faces, Riccardo declared, "The best way

for me to share with you what I know about giving presentations is

to give a presentation." Riccardo laughed, and added lightly, "and it

would be even better for you to give the presentations." As he said

the word 'you', Riccardo eyed each of the informal leaders briefly. So

what I’m looking for is somebody to volunteer to give a presentation

for a couple of minutes so that we can give some feedback. In fact,

I’m looking for three people. Who are the three most confident

people in the room?"

The students looked around at each other, their eyes aiming in the

direction of the informal leaders, who slowly began to sit up and

face Riccardo. It took a while. Three individuals finally rose and

grinned at him.

"Great, we have three volunteers. Come to the front of the room and

I will give you your instructions," encouraged Riccardo.

They strode towards Riccardo, growing in size as they did so. Two

were taller than Riccardo so he invited them into a huddle so their

heads were all at the same level. He asked their names.

Eric, who wore glasses was the tallest and thinnest of the three,

seemed to be very nervous for someone who had volunteered.

Joseph was physically athletic, spoke slowly, choosing his words

with care. Lonny the broadest of the three, gave the impression he

could knock down walls with his shoulders.

Riccardo guided the three volunteers to where he wanted them and

turned them to face their classmates. One by one, he invited them to

share their names and how comfortable they felt standing at the

front of the class.

"Eric, how does it feel to be standing here?"

Eric looking down at the floor, replied, "It’s OK."

"How about you Joseph?"

Joseph kept eye contact with Riccardo as he replied, "No problem.

No problem at all."

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"And Lonny, how does it feel to be here?"

"Alright," Lonny answered, grinning and looking at his classmates.

Riccardo huddled with the three volunteers again, and gave them

instructions. "What I want you to do is give a very short talk about

what you were doing yesterday, or last week, for two minutes, no

more, just two minutes. Can you do that? Then we will give you

some feedback to make your presentations even better!"

All three agreed to the assignment.

"Now here’s what I want you to do. Go outside and prepare your

two-minute talk. Oh, and by the way, I want you to talk with each

other and decide who is the strongest one. That will be the person

who will come in first when I ask for somebody to come in. The

strongest one. Do you understand?"

They understood, and grinned at the challenge of deciding who was

the strongest of them. At the back of their minds, they were thinking

about the two-minute talk they were going to give. At the front of

their minds was the question of who was strongest. They left the

room. The door closed.

Riccardo turned off the projector. "Okay, now listen," he said in a

conspiratorial tone to the rest of the students. "We are going to play

a game."

"Are you ready?" asked the voice inside Riccardo’s head. "We will soon

find out," Riccardo giggled, as he replied.

The students hushed and leaned forwards, intrigued by the promise

of a game to play. Obviously, it was going to be a bit naughty,

hopefully exciting, and probably more interesting than listening to a

boring lecture about giving presentations.

Riccardo set up the game, continuing his conspiratorial tone.

"Whoever comes in first, we are not going to like them. We’re going

to ignore them; we’re going to be a bit rude to them, but not in an

obvious way. You know what I mean? You know how to be a bit

rude without being too obvious, right?"

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The students looked at each other, their grinning faces and raised

eyebrows clearly betraying their delight at the thought of playing

this game.

"Whoever comes in first is the strongest of the three; they can take it;

they can take us being rude for two minutes. But, if they catch us

being rude, we lose the game. The trick is to be rude without being

caught. Are you ready?"

They certainly were.

Riccardo called for the first volunteer. Lonny walked in, head high,

looking around the room and checking that he had the attention of

his classmates as he walked to the front. Riccardo stood to one side,

facing the audience, and nodded to Lonny. "Okay Lonny, you’ve got

two minutes, away you go."

Lonny started to speak, "You know how hard it is to get fireworks,"

he said gleefully, waiting for some agreement from his classmates. It

didn't come. He blushed, his hands shook, he continued, "and you

know how they check how old you are," he said with a begging

tone. His face went pale, "and you need an ID card…" he stumbled

over his words and managed to keep going for a few seconds more

before losing momentum completely.

"Please continue, Lonny," coaxed Riccardo, "for two minutes please."

Lonny braced himself and made a brave effort to continue speaking,

looking desperately at his classmates for support, but not getting it,

"Well, I er, I have a ..." he stammered, blushing for a few seconds

and going pale the next.

"He’s hurting," said the voice. "Is it time to step in?" "Probably," said

Riccardo.

Riccardo interrupted and said, "Lonny! You are done, you’re

finished, we have heard enough. We also have to tell you something.

We have been playing a game with you; we have been very rude.

Did you notice?"

Lonny’s face fell. He had not known.

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"What the hell!" he clamoured, "What the bloody hell?"

"It's all my fault," Riccardo interrupted.

"And you just sat there and ignored me," he accused his classmates,

pointing a gun finger at them. "That's not nice," he threatened, "not

nice at all."

"They were following my instructions, it was me," interjected

Riccardo inviting Lonny to focus on him instead. "I believe you were

the strongest most confident person in the room?" Riccardo stated,

reminding them of the deal at the start of the lesson. "And we are

learning about giving presentations," he continued, "What can we

learn from this?"

"What did you tell them to do?"

"I invited them to be a bit rude, to ignore you and not get caught

doing it,"

"They were bloody rude. I could see that they were ignoring me."

"How?" asked Riccardo.

"They were looking at me with empty eyes."

"And what else?"

"They didn't react when I told them about fireworks. I thought they

would!"

"And how did that feel?"

"Like shit!" exclaimed Lonny.

"If you can, tell us more about that."

"I felt angry, embarrassed. Betrayed!"

"Betrayed by what?"

"They are supposed to be my mates," he said waving his gun finger

at them again."

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"And what happened to you when you felt betrayed?"

"It made my head spin. It felt like I was going to be sick."

"And what happened to your presentation?"

"I couldn't speak. It was like the words would not come out."

Lonny alternated between anger and relief as he complained about

how awful it felt to be ignored by his classmates. The

communication lesson was being given by the strongest person in

the room, the young man who had volunteered to give a two-minute

presentation to an audience who had been rude and ignored him.

Riccardo acknowledged, "Lonny. Thank you for giving us a most

powerful lesson about what can happen when the audience ignores

you," Riccardo acclaimed Lonny, "You are a bold, courageous,

young man who deserves to be listened to. You explained the point

of the lesson much better than I could have done."

Lonny returned to his seat, stopping to bump fists with several

classmates on the way. He sat down with a thump and turned to

glare at Riccardo.

Speaking to the whole class, Riccardo asked, "Do you want to

continue the game?" They did! "This time, whoever comes in, there

are two of them, remember, we are going to love them, we are going

to be attentive, we are going to listen to every word they say, we’re

going to be encouraging, and we’re not going to get caught doing it.

The game is to encourage them without them noticing we are doing

it. Are you ready?"

They were.

Riccardo invited the second volunteer in. Joseph walked in, keeping

his eyes on Riccardo as he walked up to where he was going to give

his short presentation.

Riccardo said, "Okay Joseph, you’ve got two minutes, away you go."

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Joseph began talking about his weekend, "I went to the match this

weekend, with my dad and my uncle. It was great," he smiled

grandly, the audience smiled back, his eyes widened. His voice grew

as he continued, "We got seats right behind the goal, you could see

everything like you was the goalie …" and he enthusiastically

continued the story for a full two minutes.

Riccardo interrupted and said, "Okay, Joseph, you are done; we

have heard enough." As Joseph moved to take his place among his

classmates, Riccardo added, "Joseph, we have something to tell you;

we’ve been playing a game with you. Did you notice?"

No, Joseph had not noticed they were playing a game. "How did it

feel to give the presentation?" asked Riccardo.

Joseph beamed, "It felt great; everyone was listening." The other

students all laughed. Joseph looked puzzled.

"Lean in," encouraged the voice. "Dig a little deeper."

"Tell us more."

"It felt like whatever I said, everyone was interested. I felt strong. I

was nervous at the start because you know, you were gonna give

some feedback or something, but it got easier."

"What made it easy?" enquired Riccardo.

"Everyone was listening"

"Right, they were. We were also playing a game, that's why they

laughed."

Riccardo rounded off this part of the game by saying, "I will tell you

the game we were playing after we have played with the third

volunteer. Please join in and we will talk about it afterwards."

Joseph walked back to his place, bemused by what had just

happened.

"Follow through, complete the game," reminded the voice.

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Riccardo started the third round. "This time we will do half and half.

For the first minute you can choose to be rude, to ignore, or you can

choose to show love, to listen. Then in the second minute, you swap;

if you were rude, now you listen; if you were listening, now you’re

rude. And to win the game, we have to do all this without getting

caught. Ready?"

They were ready.

Riccardo invited the third and final volunteer, Eric to come in. He

entered the room, his eyes following the lines on the floor until he

got to where Riccardo was pointing, inviting him to give his

presentation.

"Eric, will you speak for two minutes and we will give you some

feedback to improve your presentation?"

"Alright,"

Eric looked at his notes, "I want to tell you about the match last

weekend." Half the audience groaned in silence, the other half

smiled, eagerly awaiting his story. Eric spoke for a while, looking at

his classmates from time to time and, after one minute, noticed

something was different and stopped speaking.

"Eric, please continue," said Riccardo, "for two minutes please."

"Something is going on," Eric said.

"We have been playing a game with you," declared Riccardo.

"I knew that," Eric said. "You got me very confused. Some of you

were with at me at the beginning, and then you wouldn’t look at me.

It was impossible to carry on talking. What were you doing?"

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By way of answering that question, Riccardo led the students in a

debrief of the three rounds of the game. He asked Lonny, who was

still visibly angry, to share how he felt to be ignored. Lonny told his

classmates that he had expected their support, that it’s hard to stand

at the front of the room giving a presentation. He understood that

something weird was happening because even his best classmates

had looked away from him whilst he was talking and they had not

laughed at the joke he had tried to tell.

Riccardo invited the teacher Harriet to work with him, "Could you

help me with the next stage? I think we are ready to suggest some

ways we could make the presentations work out better."

"Yes," said Harriet flicking her long blonde hair behind her ears as

she prepared to take charge of her class again. She walked briskly to

the front of the room to stand beside Riccardo who made himself a

little smaller by lowering his shoulders. She spun round to face the

class, her blue dress fanned out as she did so, and brought the class

to rapt attention.

Harriet began by acknowledging the class, "You do, in my opinion,

you do already have almost enough skill in speaking English to give

the required presentation." Then she admitted, "I had not realised

what was holding you back, until now." She gave a nod in

Riccardo’s direction by way of thanks.

Together they asked what would have made the situation better.

Harriet began, "What can we do that would make these

presentations possible?"

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"What do we need to add or take away?" added Riccardo. The

students' suggestions came quickly:

"Do we have to present to the whole class?"

"Can we present to a small audience of friends?"

"Can we record on video?"

"Can we record just on audio?"

Harriet took note and agreed with all the suggestions, "Sure. No

problem."

Riccardo fished for suggestions beyond giving presentations, "What

else would you like to add about supporting each other in getting

the best grades you can?" His comments were aimed mostly at

Lonny.

Knocking down the walls that had stood between the students in the

room, Lonny suggested, "Be honest, and be kind."

At the end of the debrief, Harriet took over the reigns and continued

the class discussion about finding ways to get the best results from

presentations. Riccardo made to leave the room. Eric, who had been

following Riccardo with his eyes since his presentation, stood up to

open the door for Riccardo. It was clear from his face that Eric was

still confused about what had happened when he had given his

presentation earlier in the lesson. Riccardo took him out of the room

for a moment. When Riccardo asked him to share his thoughts and

feelings Eric was unable to pinpoint the reasons for his distress,

except to say, "First some of them had listened, then they had not

listened."

Riccardo gently asked a couple of questions, "How much attention

do you give to your audience when speaking?" and "How much do

you allow the audience reaction affect your performance?" Eric

looked surprised at first, but the wheels in his mind started turning.

He had not considered these matters before.

Leaving Eric to spin on his own, Riccardo walked away.

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