working happy | resumania COVER LETTER “I always meet deadlines. I don’t always show up on time.” – We’ll save you the trouble of showing up for an interview. POSITION SOUGHT “Sales Assassinate.” – Now this is what you’d call a “killer resume.” COVER LETTER “Here’s my resume. Pass it on please. I have zero cash! Hurry!” – I think we’ve “zeroed” in on some ways you could improve your approach to getting hired. COVER LETTER GREETING “Your highness, I would really like the opportunity to work as a sales clerk.” – Flattery will get you everywhere. COVER LETTER “Please help. I just wrecked my car.” – You do know we’re a staffing firm, right? REASON FOR LEAVING “My wife, the company’s owner, had a nervous breakdown. We separated with mutual consent.” – The very definition of “too much information.” QUALIFICATIONS “My qualifications for customer service, call center work, cashiering, retail, being a caregiver or working a makeup counter all have to do with my last 25 years of teaching piano.” – We are thoroughly confused. RESUMANIA They said what? COVER LETTER “At this writing, I live in a house with seven adult cats, two kittens, two adult dogs, one puppy, many houseplants and thousands of photos that I take.” – Do you even have time for a job? ACCOMPLISHMENTS “Nothing at all.” — Humble to a fault! SKILLS “Withstood humiliation of clown suit (while working as a playroom attendant).” – Sounds like that job was no laughing matter. NICKNAME “Honey Bunny.” – We’re going to hop over to the next applicant. OBJECTIVE “To avoid the round file and attract someone to actually read my resume.” – We actually wish you’d explained why you’re a fit for this job. COVER LETTER “I currently work with four graphic artists and two production people and I like it just fine — except that we all catch the same colds.” – We’ll be sure to have tissues on hand. EDUCATION “GPA: 4.0 Strait-A student all the years of scholl.” – Your teachers must not have been paying attention. COVER LETTER “I have 254 kerosene lamps and lanterns.” – We might need an explanation to illuminate us. REASON FOR LEAVING “The company has taught me everything it is going to teach me. I’m way too smart to configure Outlook all day.” – Remember: There’s a difference between confident and cocky. JOB DESCRIPTION “Data entery. Varified employment, checked credit history, imput all information verified on morgage application.” – And the world record for resume typos goes to … CONTACT INFORMATION “Email address: SuperManager001@ emailredacted.com.” – Talk about personal branding! 30 HALF TIMES If you come across Resumania-worthy gaffes during your day, remove names to protect the innocent and send the resume or cover letter to email@example.com.
training | working happy MEET OUR Field Trainers in Europe 19 YEARS NOÉMIE CICUREL Staff Development and Internal Recruitment Director, and Mother of Twins Paris, France 20 YEARS TRICIA HAZELWOOD Field Training Manager and Crafter Bristol, U.K. 10 YEARS 10 YEARS 21 YEARS 19 YEARS KATY LEWIS Staff Development Coordinator and Outdoor Runner Bristol, U.K. SVEN SAMSON Staff Development and Internal Recruitment Director, and Family Man Munich, Germany VICTORIA SPROTT Staff Development and Internal Recruitment Director, and Skier Bristol, U.K. BETH TURNER Training Manager and Music Aficionado Nottingham, U.K. Q: WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT YOUR JOB? Participating in the creation of new trainings, reshaping existing ones and delivering them in collaboration with worldwide teams. I like working with a wide range of people at different stages in their careers. It’s a privilege to contribute to their success. I love the variety, from creating presentations and speaking to new hires to helping organize events. It gives me insight into the wider world of Robert Half. I’m able to give our people the things they need to do their job better. It’s fantastic to see the impact I can have on each individual’s career and life, and the company. The variety and breadth of the job, from coaching staff on how they can make more money to helping guide the next generation of managers. It brings me satisfaction to see people implement new techniques that help themselves, their teams and the business succeed. Q: WHAT’S THE MOST SIGNIFICANT THING YOU HAVE LEARNED ON THE JOB? Our many dedicated people have developed great tools, and I’ve learned a lot from them. I also appreciate that our success comes from a mix of cultural approaches. The most important skill I’ve learned is to be adaptable and flexible without losing sight of the end goal, and still have fun. “Keep Calm and Carry On” and “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” have become my mottos. Rarely is a problem unsolvable if you collaborate to resolve it. Be prepared. You need to be very structured and disciplined when you organize training sessions. People are highly motivated by things that will personally benefit them, so we must demonstrate the value each training brings to their careers. While our best practices provide proven guidance, there isn’t just one approach that works for everybody. When people find what works for them, they flourish. HALF TIMES 31