Views
3 months ago

The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

THE BOOK OF TELLS

THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tells- they're comforting and reassuring things that we do to ourselves when there isn't anybody else around to do them to us. The potency of auto-contact actions lies in the fact that physical touch is the best way to comfort someone. It's the most primitive and it's also the most effective. The importance of touch is reflected in the composition of our skin, which has millions of receptor cells that are sensitive to the slightest change in pressure, and in the structure of our brain, where it's been discovered that the area in the prefrontal cortex that's devoted to touch is much larger than the areas devoted to any of the other senses. Touch forms the basis of the initial contact between mother and child; it's touch that comforts the baby and makes it feel secure. That's why touch is so reassuring throughout our lives - it recreates those feelings of love and security that we once experienced as a baby. The sad part of this is that if you watch people who feel dejected, lonely or vulnerable - people lining up for benefits, people waiting in accident and emergency, people appearing in court - they frequently touch themselves in a way that is reminiscent of how their mother comforted them. The same applies to people who are being submissive. When people are feeling submissive they frequently stroke their hair, especially the hair at the back of their head. These actions can be traced back to the time when their mothers caressed their hair to comfort them, and when they supported them by cradling the back of their head. When people feel submissive they also touch their face, frequently placing their fingers on their lips. These self-comforting gestures also owe their origins to the way that mothers caress their baby's face, play with its 78

SUBMISSIVE TELLS mouth and kiss it on the lips. Mothers also hug their children when they're distressed. Consequently, when adults are feeling insecure or submissive they often try to recover these reassuring feelings by performing actions that enable them to hug themselves. One example of this is the 'arm grip', where the hand stretches over the chest to grab the bicep of the opposite arm; another is the 'bandoleer', where the arm is extended over the chest to grip the opposite shoulder. In the 'double bandoleer' both arms are crossed on the chest and each grips the opposite shoulder. These actions recreate the experience of being embraced. Other self-comforting actions recreate the sensation of being held by the hand. One is the 'palm press', where the palm of one hand faces upward, holding the palm of the other hand. Another is the 'dovetail', where the fingers of the two hands are intertwined. In both these actions the palms of the hands are either pressed together or kept loosely apart, creating a sensation that is very similar to holding hands, or having one's hand reassuringly held by someone else. These submissive hand postures are in marked contrast to dominant hand postures like 'steepling', where the arms usually rest on the elbows, with the palms facing each other and the tip of each finger lightly touching its opposite number, making the whole arrangement look like the roof beams of a church. The steepling posture is used by people who want to put their hands on display but who don't need to use them to comfort themselves. While submissive hand postures attempt to maximize autocontact, the steepling posture tries to keep it to the bare minimum. 79

  • Page 2 and 3:

    AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha

  • Page 4 and 5:

    Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie

  • Page 6 and 7:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0

  • Page 8 and 9:

    Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2

  • Page 10 and 11:

    Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael

  • Page 12 and 13:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha

  • Page 14 and 15:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.

  • Page 16 and 17:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell

  • Page 18 and 19:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th

  • Page 20 and 21:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr

  • Page 22 and 23:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w

  • Page 24 and 25:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells

  • Page 26 and 27:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn

  • Page 28 and 29: THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
  • Page 30 and 31: THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
  • Page 32 and 33: THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
  • Page 34 and 35: THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
  • Page 36 and 37: 2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
  • Page 38 and 39: THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
  • Page 40 and 41: THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
  • Page 42 and 43: THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
  • Page 44 and 45: THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
  • Page 46 and 47: THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
  • Page 48 and 49: THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
  • Page 50 and 51: THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
  • Page 52 and 53: THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
  • Page 54 and 55: THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
  • Page 56 and 57: THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
  • Page 58 and 59: THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
  • Page 60 and 61: THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
  • Page 62 and 63: THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
  • Page 64 and 65: THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
  • Page 66 and 67: THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
  • Page 68 and 69: THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
  • Page 70 and 71: THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
  • Page 72 and 73: THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
  • Page 74 and 75: THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
  • Page 76 and 77: THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
  • Page 80 and 81: THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
  • Page 82 and 83: THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
  • Page 84 and 85: THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
  • Page 86 and 87: THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
  • Page 88 and 89: THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
  • Page 90 and 91: THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
  • Page 92 and 93: THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
  • Page 94 and 95: THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
  • Page 96 and 97: THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
  • Page 98 and 99: THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
  • Page 100 and 101: THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
  • Page 102 and 103: THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
  • Page 104 and 105: 4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
  • Page 106 and 107: THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
  • Page 108 and 109: THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
  • Page 110 and 111: THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
  • Page 112 and 113: THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
  • Page 114 and 115: THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
  • Page 116 and 117: THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
  • Page 118 and 119: THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
  • Page 120 and 121: THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
  • Page 122 and 123: THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
  • Page 124 and 125: THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
  • Page 126 and 127: THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
  • Page 128 and 129:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider

  • Page 130 and 131:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of

  • Page 132 and 133:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so

  • Page 134 and 135:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou

  • Page 136 and 137:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th

  • Page 138 and 139:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the

  • Page 140 and 141:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound

  • Page 142 and 143:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp

  • Page 144 and 145:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A

  • Page 146 and 147:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife

  • Page 148 and 149:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu

  • Page 150 and 151:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o

  • Page 152 and 153:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a

  • Page 154 and 155:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E

  • Page 156 and 157:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan

  • Page 158 and 159:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better

  • Page 160 and 161:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi

  • Page 162 and 163:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch

  • Page 164 and 165:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells

  • Page 166 and 167:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o

  • Page 168 and 169:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont

  • Page 170 and 171:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for

  • Page 172 and 173:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in

  • Page 174 and 175:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili

  • Page 176 and 177:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy

  • Page 178 and 179:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure

  • Page 180 and 181:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth

  • Page 182 and 183:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an

  • Page 184 and 185:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t

  • Page 186 and 187:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS

  • Page 188 and 189:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy

  • Page 190 and 191:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th

  • Page 192 and 193:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS not because they

  • Page 194 and 195:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea

  • Page 196 and 197:

    7. Royal Tells On a state visit to

  • Page 198 and 199:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu

  • Page 200 and 201:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte

  • Page 202 and 203:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado

  • Page 204 and 205:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.

  • Page 206 and 207:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,

  • Page 208 and 209:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS to shake hands, a

  • Page 210 and 211:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS than any other wa

  • Page 212 and 213:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS cuff. This is Cha

  • Page 214 and 215:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people

  • Page 216 and 217:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS - someone who was

  • Page 218 and 219:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe

  • Page 220 and 221:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS have high levels

  • Page 222 and 223:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect

  • Page 224 and 225:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo

  • Page 226 and 227:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows

  • Page 228 and 229:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which

  • Page 230 and 231:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their

  • Page 232:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232

  • Page 235 and 236:

    ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon

  • Page 237 and 238:

    ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th

  • Page 239 and 240:

    ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be

  • Page 241 and 242:

    ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda

  • Page 243 and 244:

    ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to

  • Page 245 and 246:

    SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac

  • Page 247 and 248:

    SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign

  • Page 249 and 250:

    SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma

  • Page 251 and 252:

    SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m

  • Page 253 and 254:

    SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t

  • Page 255 and 256:

    SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can

  • Page 257 and 258:

    SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin

  • Page 259 and 260:

    SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t

  • Page 261 and 262:

    SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th

  • Page 263 and 264:

    SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo

  • Page 265 and 266:

    SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi

  • Page 267 and 268:

    SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,

  • Page 269 and 270:

    SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh

  • Page 271 and 272:

    SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc

  • Page 273 and 274:

    SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu

  • Page 275 and 276:

    SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget

  • Page 277 and 278:

    SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people

  • Page 279 and 280:

    SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig

  • Page 281 and 282:

    SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc

  • Page 283 and 284:

    SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth

  • Page 285 and 286:

    LYING TELLS when they're given a pr

  • Page 287 and 288:

    LYING TELLS in their ability to det

  • Page 289 and 290:

    LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe

  • Page 291 and 292:

    LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind

  • Page 293 and 294:

    LYING TELLS There is, however, a su

  • Page 295 and 296:

    LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i

  • Page 297 and 298:

    LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th

  • Page 299 and 300:

    LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people

  • Page 301 and 302:

    LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th

  • Page 303 and 304:

    LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft

  • Page 305 and 306:

    LYING TELLS work involved in produc

  • Page 307 and 308:

    11. Foreign Tells When people speak

  • Page 309 and 310:

    FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole

  • Page 311 and 312:

    FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri

  • Page 313 and 314:

    FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio

  • Page 315 and 316:

    FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are

  • Page 317 and 318:

    FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth

  • Page 319 and 320:

    FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I

  • Page 321 and 322:

    FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o

  • Page 323 and 324:

    FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,

  • Page 325 and 326:

    FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha

  • Page 327 and 328:

    FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre

  • Page 329 and 330:

    SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about

  • Page 331 and 332:

    SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably

  • Page 333 and 334:

    SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol

  • Page 335 and 336:

    SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i

  • Page 337 and 338:

    SMOKING TELLS There are several rea

  • Page 339 and 340:

    SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face

  • Page 341 and 342:

    SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette

  • Page 343 and 344:

    SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w

  • Page 345 and 346:

    SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid

  • Page 347 and 348:

    13. Tell-tales You're going to work

  • Page 349 and 350:

    TELL-TALES present man behind in hi

  • Page 351 and 352:

    TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv

  • Page 353 and 354:

    TELL-TALES allowing them instead to

  • Page 355 and 356:

    TELL-TALES chapters have shown that

  • Page 357 and 358:

    Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th

  • Page 359 and 360:

    NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.

  • Page 361 and 362:

    NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po

  • Page 363 and 364:

    NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit

  • Page 365 and 366:

    NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig

  • Page 367 and 368:

    NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F

  • Page 369 and 370:

    NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be

  • Page 371 and 372:

    NOTES female attractiveness and des

  • Page 373 and 374:

    NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe

  • Page 375 and 376:

    NOTES salespersons and customers be

  • Page 377 and 378:

    NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc

  • Page 379:

    NOTES effects of cigarette smoking

  • Page 382 and 383:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou

  • Page 384 and 385:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276

  • Page 386 and 387:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f

  • Page 388 and 389:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,

  • Page 390 and 391:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal

  • Page 392 and 393:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69

  • Page 394 and 395:

    THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t