07042018 - Investigate your ministers
Vanguard Newspaper 07 April 2018
Vanguard Newspaper 07 April 2018
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
30—SATURDAY Vanguard, APRIL 7, 2018<br />
‘MISCARRIAGES: O, God<br />
please not again!’<br />
Angela was 36 when she married Tony in June<br />
2009, and ready to start a family. At 48, Tony<br />
was much older but that didn’t matter because they<br />
were in love. He was loving and caring and made<br />
her feel very special. Tony was a widower. His first<br />
wife died about eight years earlier, ironically, during<br />
childbirth.<br />
Angela recounted their infertility story during a<br />
recent encounter, recalling how they had plans<br />
and looked forward to raising a big, happy family.<br />
They even chose names for their yet-to-be born<br />
children and the likely months they were to be born.<br />
If it was a boy, he would be called Anthony, while a<br />
girl would be Angelina. Read on:<br />
“I clearly remember it was in October 2009 when<br />
I thought I had become pregnant. We set to work<br />
with our baby making home work; unfortunately,<br />
things didn’t go as planned. A few weeks after we<br />
had begun our plans, I got my period, and we were<br />
a bit disappointed, but kept on going, then kept on<br />
trying the next and the next and the following<br />
months without success.<br />
After three more months of trying, I went to see<br />
my gynaecologist for some tests and all came back<br />
normal, except that I had high levels of prolactin.<br />
He put me on a drug called bromocriptine which I<br />
took religiously. Another three months went by, yet<br />
I did not get pregnant and there was no baby.<br />
In June of 2010, I remember I<br />
missed my period. It had been<br />
quite a while since that happened,<br />
and excitedly, I took a home<br />
pregnancy test. Lo and behold, it<br />
returned a positive result. I was<br />
pregnant! I was ecstatic. Tony was<br />
beyond happy! Over the next few<br />
days, he didn’t allow me to lift a<br />
finger. I wasn’t allowed to do<br />
anything. Tony did everything for<br />
me, washing, cooking and<br />
cleaning. I was treated like a baby,<br />
carried, fed and even bathed. All<br />
I did was eat and sleep.<br />
Sadly, the pregnancy wasn’t<br />
viable because I was spotting from<br />
the first day. I went back to my<br />
gynaecologist, who put me on<br />
permanent bed rest, but that<br />
pregnancy was doomed, and<br />
despite all efforts, I ended up<br />
having a miscarriage after around<br />
five weeks of pregnancy.<br />
We were devastated but<br />
encouraged each other to get over<br />
it and continued with our monthly<br />
baby making ritual. Five months<br />
later, I missed my period again and<br />
another pregnancy test turned out<br />
positive. But again, just like the<br />
last time, I began spotting from<br />
day one.<br />
O, God please, not again! I was<br />
horrified. The sad experience with<br />
the first pregnancy was still fresh<br />
in my memory and I knew right<br />
away this was not a good sign at<br />
all. To be honest, that experience<br />
had robbed me of much optimism<br />
and all of a sudden, I really wasn’t<br />
so enthusiastic about this second<br />
pregnancy. Nevertheless, I carried<br />
that pregnancy all the way to the<br />
12th week. I was permanently on<br />
bed rest, walked on eggshells and<br />
was very, very careful not to get<br />
upset.<br />
Despite my efforts, I had<br />
a second miscarriage. Once<br />
again my heart was filled<br />
with unhappiness. It was<br />
really bad. I withdrew into<br />
a shell and cried my eyes<br />
out.<br />
My third pregnancy<br />
occurred in May 2011. Like<br />
previous occasions, I<br />
missed my period after<br />
several months to trying<br />
and a quick test confirmed<br />
I was pregnant. I later got<br />
to know that this third<br />
pregnancy was what<br />
doctors call a chemical<br />
(false) pregnancy.<br />
Sure enough, two days<br />
later I got my period (the<br />
day I was supposed to get<br />
it) and it was just normal,<br />
like every month. We<br />
started trying again and<br />
exactly three months later,<br />
I found out I was pregnant<br />
again. My hope returned<br />
but we remained cautious.<br />
I was placed on 24-hour,<br />
bed rest. Alas! around the<br />
10th day, I started having<br />
some light brown spotting.<br />
In the pit of my stomach I<br />
was concerned something<br />
was wrong again.<br />
In a healthy pregnancy,<br />
the HCG levels double<br />
every 48-72 hours. Mine<br />
didn’t double fast enough.<br />
The doctor was certain I<br />
was going to lose the<br />
pregnancy. And I did. Four<br />
miscarriages in just over<br />
one year! I was utterly<br />
defeated.<br />
I started to think, for the<br />
first time, that maybe there<br />
was something wrong with<br />
me. Maybe this was more<br />
than just “bad luck.” The<br />
last miscarriage itself<br />
physically wasn’t difficult,<br />
just like a heavy period.<br />
But the emotional turmoil<br />
was devastating. It hurt so<br />
much to know that I lost<br />
my baby, yet again, but<br />
strangely, I didn’t cry. I<br />
just sat like a robot for<br />
days, not talking, eating<br />
or sleeping.<br />
There was a heavy<br />
weight bearing down in<br />
my heart and a deep,<br />
hollow feeling in the pit<br />
of my stomach. All<br />
through this period, Tony<br />
was fantastic, cuddling<br />
and comforting me. I tried<br />
to be responsive, but the<br />
burden in my heart was<br />
too heavy.<br />
The storm broke one<br />
evening about a week<br />
later. We were at home<br />
watching TV. It was a<br />
comedy feature and quite<br />
arresting. I was so<br />
engrossed I didn’t know<br />
when I burst out<br />
laughing. Tony was<br />
startled; he looked at me<br />
in concern, but<br />
immediately, began<br />
laughing too. He laughed<br />
so hard he fell off the sofa<br />
and that made me to laugh<br />
even more.<br />
Tony pulled me down on<br />
top of him and we rolled<br />
on the floor as we<br />
continued laughing. I was<br />
laughing so hard there<br />
were tears in my eyes and<br />
‘O, God<br />
preserve<br />
our baby!’<br />
Tony held me close and<br />
laughed in my face. It was<br />
a magical moment. It had<br />
been a long time since we<br />
shared such closeness. But<br />
quite unexpectedly, the<br />
laughter choked in my<br />
throat and for a moment or<br />
two I could not breathe.<br />
I felt an overwhelming<br />
sadness and despair. One<br />
moment I was laughing,<br />
the next I was weeping<br />
uncontrollably.<br />
I cannot remember how<br />
long I cried, but I slept off<br />
and woke up much later still<br />
lying on the living room<br />
floor with Tony beside me.<br />
I had a throbbing<br />
headache, but at that point<br />
I later got to<br />
know that<br />
this third<br />
pregnancy<br />
was what<br />
doctors call<br />
a chemical<br />
(false)<br />
pregnancy<br />
in time, I felt an uncontrollably<br />
strong urge to make love. The<br />
doctor had advised us to wait<br />
until after I had my next period<br />
to try again, but I couldn’t wait<br />
to get pregnant again. My wish<br />
did not come true until about two<br />
months later, I knew without a<br />
doubt that the journey to my next<br />
conception began that night.<br />
This fifth pregnancy felt<br />
completely different right from<br />
the start. It felt strong. I had<br />
very strong symptoms shortly<br />
after ovulation. The HCG levels<br />
were encouraging. It went from<br />
79 to 250 in just two days—more<br />
than triple. This pregnancy was<br />
a strong one and I went on to<br />
have a healthy baby boy in<br />
August 2012.<br />
When my son was a little over<br />
a year old, we decided to start<br />
trying again for a second child.<br />
The doctor said we could start<br />
trying to get pregnant right away,<br />
so we did. We went to the village<br />
on a vacation, which<br />
coincidentally was right around<br />
ovulation time. The last day of<br />
our vacation I felt very nauseous<br />
and threw up. This was very<br />
similar to my last pregnancy, so<br />
I excitedly told my husband.<br />
A week later, a pregnancy test<br />
confirmed my suspicions; I was<br />
pregnant again…first try! I was<br />
excited, but I couldn’t really<br />
believe it had happened so fast.<br />
I went in to get my HCG levels<br />
drawn and my first number was<br />
112, which seemed okay.<br />
However, my second number<br />
came back and it had dropped<br />
to 76. I was losing another one.<br />
I was very sad, but mostly just<br />
shocked. I hadn’t really expected<br />
to get pregnant so fast and it was<br />
gone before I even had a chance<br />
to get used to the idea.<br />
We tried again and,<br />
immediately I became pregnant<br />
again. This one also felt good. I<br />
went in the morning I got a<br />
positive test but the HCG<br />
numbers were low and quickly<br />
droppedto 7; another failure.<br />
We tried to get pregnant again<br />
and succeeded. My first HCG<br />
number was 54, the next draw<br />
was 72, doubling time 79 hours.<br />
At this point I knew it wasn’t<br />
going to work.<br />
My third draw came back—94.<br />
Not even close. It was over again,<br />
even though I had done<br />
everything right, eaten well, no<br />
stress took all the medications,<br />
exercised right, rested well,<br />
prayed fervently, I did it all, and<br />
I still lost it. It was one<br />
miscarriage too many.<br />
At this point I was just<br />
confused and angry. My body<br />
let me down again. I am not<br />
“infertile” because I have a son<br />
and I get pregnant every time I<br />
try. My problem is recurrent early<br />
trimester miscarriage. I’m<br />
grateful for the miracle of my<br />
son, but how many times do I<br />
have to go through this? How<br />
many times can I withstand the<br />
trauma? Is there really is<br />
something wrong with me? Is it<br />
fixable? My story continues.