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CityLife Cairns

5 SIMPLE STRATEGIES TO

5 SIMPLE STRATEGIES TO HANDLE THE UNFORESEEN AND FEEL BALANCED DEB JOHNSTONE Mindset and NLP Coach The unforeseen has been on the agenda for me again lately. Last month, I waved my youngest son and his partner off to work on a station out west for the rest of the year. Limited contact and I probably will only see them a couple of times for the rest of this year. As is usual, these two make instant decisions; they are beautifully spontaneous. I was told they were leaving with only 24 hours notice. Eek! My little heart cried out! I was planning to visit them in the Tablelands that Saturday and they had decided to leave early Saturday morning. What a dilemma! How would I be able to see them before they left? Being a very committed and focused entrepreneur I normally have my whole week mapped out in front of me. I make the most of every moment and prioritise well. This helps me achieve so much more in less time, even working from home where there can be many distractions. With a big deadline fast approaching my natural tendency is to stay focused Monday to Friday and spend most of the weekends connecting with people I love, having fun and resting. Because this helps me balance my life, right? No! That’s not always the case! In that moment when my heart went “eek” I almost laughed at myself! What is entrepreneurship if I can’t be flexible with my hours? Isn’t that one of the reasons I’m doing it, so I can be free to choose where I go and when I want? One of my highest value areas is family and there I was so focused on my deadline that I was about to miss seeing my boy for the last time for months! I believe that balance is a feeling, not an idea or concept. The feeling of balance comes when we are creating space for the things that are important to us and to do this really well requires a lot of awareness on our part. There are strategies and thought processes I have identified that help me do this and they help me make decisions like the one I made last week. Have a structure that works for you – When you know what is important to you and what you value, its easy then to create a structure that works around that. Its helps you map out your months, weeks and days to allow time and space for what is important to you. Having a map for my week that includes caring for myself, and space for what is important to me means that I feel in balance and in harmony with life. Know your deadlines – This all begins with knowing your outcomes and goals. When you know this, then it becomes easy to integrate them into your structure, still allowing space for what is important to you. Always knowing what my goals and deadlines are helps me prioritise really well and that means I feel calm and in control of myself which helps me achieve my goals with less stress. Flexibility is key – Feeling balanced is about consistently adjusting to the situations at hand. If you have structure and have set your deadlines effectively then it becomes easy to adjust when unforeseen circumstances arise. This means you can adjust and create space for things that are important to you when the need presents itself. For me, because I had prioritised well, I was able to take Friday afternoon off, jump in my car and visit my son, this meant the world to me. Be honest with yourself – It’s easy as an entrepreneur or business owner to distract yourself with things that aren’t important and you may even tell yourself they are important when they are not. When you do this it can lead to last minute rushes, chaos and a life that feels out of balance. Selfawareness is key in this, be honest with yourself when deciding to do something that isn’t in your plan for the day and ask yourself “How important is this to my life, my values and my goals?” Hold yourself accountable – Often when the unforeseen happens and things are rescheduled to another day, they can keep getting put off. Its important to hold yourself accountable and having a good schedule and plan helps you do this. When you have something planned into your schedule its so much more difficult to put it off. That day before I jumped in my car, I blocked off my Saturday to do the work tasks I had originally planned for the Friday. I held myself accountable and still met my deadline with ease. The above may sound simple and it is. The thing is we often forget one of those strategies and wonder why we feel unfulfilled or unbalanced. I initially forgot to be flexible and imagine how I would have felt if I had just continued blindly, I would have resented having to work and felt upset that I missed my family. When I realised this and adjusted it, I totally changed how I felt. I had a wonderful afternoon visiting the important people I love and because of this I felt satisfied and happy to work at the weekend …… and I still met my deadline! Transformational Pathways A U S T R A L I A OUTSTANDING EARLY BIRD DEAL AVAILABLE! Mindset 4 Business Success Group Coaching Program for small business owners Transformational Pathways Australia is now taking enrollments for the next Mindset 4 Business Success Group Coaching Program. For small business owners who want to take their life and business to the next level. • Understand and develop your business mindset • Increase direction, motivation and focus • Improve organization and time management • Achieve more life balance • Develop excellent communication skills • Attract more clients & create client loyalty Six Month Group Coaching Program for small business owners. Strictly limited to 6 participants per program. DEB JOHNSTONE 0408 004 670 success@debjohnstone.com.au www.debjohnstone.com.au CityLife 68 Magazine

NO SHAME AND NO BLAME WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP BREAKS DOWN SUZANNE HADLEY There’s no shame and there’s no blame either when parties separate. In an ideal world separating couple would recognise the relationship had nothing left and could wish each other all the best. It is sad reality that parties often believe that the blame for the separation should be allocated and hope to seek vengeance in the family law process. There are many misconceptions about Family Law. One of those misconceptions is that one party can use the family law process to allocate blame to the other party and that makes a difference in a divorce, a property settlement, spousal maintenance or in parenting arrangements Since the Family Law Act was enacted in 1975 the family law system became a “no blame” or “no fault” system, neither party has to prove why the relationship broke down. The previous system of allocating blame required one party to prove the fault of the other. There was no dignity in the process and grievances about the reason for the breakdown were aired in the courtroom. Neither party walked away with their dignity intact and the process was distasteful. The only basis for divorce in Australia since the legislation was enacted in 1975 is irretrievable breakdown of marriage evidenced by a period of separation for 12 months. The no-fault principle extends also to the wider areas of family law. Whether one party’s spending habits were excessive during the marriage, perhaps an extravagant love of new clothes or new fishing gear, or whether one party was unfaithful or not is not a factor in the issue of property division between the parties. There may be circumstances where fault or blame may be relevant such as where one party has deliberately wasted away a business, as in a famous case, a husband failed to insure a fishing vessel , the major asset of the parties, which subsequently was lost at sea. Court found his failure to insure was waste of matrimonial asset. However those cases are rare and outside of every day conduct There are circumstances where domestic violence can make a difference in a parenting matter with the children being put at risk. In a property division matter, domestic violence may have some impact, if domestic violence has reduced the income earning activities of the victim spouse. This is a factor the court may take into account when considering property division. The no blame no shame approach by the court recognises that parties who come to court are everyday human beings, facing one of the most difficult times of their adult life. The court recognises the parties need expert assistance not allocation of blame by raking over the coals of a defunct relationship. The court attempts to treat parties with respect and preserve their dignity, not use the court as a place for grievances to be aired and particularly not as a place for one spouse to complain at the behaviour of the other In parenting cases the court looks at the best interests of the children and in property the court looks at the contributions of each party throughout the marriage making adjustments for future needs factors and striving for a just and equitable division As individual circumstances vary, contact my office for specialist advice for your situation CAIRNS FAMILY LAWYERS PRACTICING FAMILY LAW AND DE FACTO LAW • Divorce applications. • Cohabitation agreements. • Prenuptial and binding financial agreements. • Surrogacy and assisted conception agreements. • Assistance with the resolution of parenting arrangements. hadleyfamilylaw.com.au 82 Scott Street, Cairns Ph: 07 4044 5000 hadleyfamilylaw CityLife 69 Magazine

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