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ISSUE6-NERDS

PublicHouse The

PublicHouse The Evolution of Bullying I’m not exactly sure how the hell they did it but nerds have somehow managed to completely reinvent themselves. They’re still dweebs and do incredibly embarrassing shit but the idea they’re all losers is no longer a popular one. Today, it’s the pricks who pick on others that everyone’s turned on and thinks they need to get their shit together. And to be honest, that’s a shame because “bullies”, as nerds would call them, have always done some fine work by tormenting those who are considered uncool. I’m sure it’s hard to see how picking on nerds is a grand idea, when you think about the toll it takes on some kids in school. Knowing there are children out there who sit alone at lunch or have been relentlessly teased by their classmates to the point that they’ve brought automatic weapons into school is terrifying. That’s obviously awful and something no child should ever have to deal with but kids don’t really get stuffed in lockers anymore and by the time they’ve graduated grade school, are off to university, and are planning their careers, they ought to be able to handle a bit of flak from their peers. It’s not just that these ninnies aren’t being ridiculed like they once were. The problem is people are practically bending over backwards to suck almost any dweeb’s dick. It doesn’t even have to be some loser who’s curing cancer or inventing the next version of sliced bread. Today, it’s gotten to the point where people look for weirdos who dress like children, and game with them at night, in hopes of becoming friends with them. Some women will even sleep with the dillholes. A lot of this has to do with all the nerds working in the media but a big problem with it is that a lot of older nerds are capable of and many times do far worse things to others than just give them swirlies. If you look around, you’ll see nerds of all different sizes and ages frolicking about, doing as they please, without much of a consequence. Maybe “frolicking” isn’t the best word to use for a group of people who spend most of their time behind computers and living in basements but you get the point. There are plenty of people doing what makes them happy and they don’t care about much else; those are words to live by for most. That’s nothing all too awful when you’re talking about a kid who’s trying to chase his dreams or a family man with a little hobby he uses to keep himself from leaving the wife and kids behind. But once it becomes clear that the dream is out of reach or the hobby is getting in the way of providing for a guy’s family, it’s time to give up. And when it comes to twisted freaks, who get their jollies by preying on children and the weak, it’s probably best if they aren’t as happy as the rest. That’s the problem with all of this “don’t be a dick” or “treat others as you would like to be treated” bullshit. It may have become a lot easier to be a nerd but it’s become a lot easier to be a creepy asshole, too. You don’t have to become rich and famous on some ridiculous 20

PublicHouse Subway sandwich diet you created, in order to easily pay for child pornography anymore. Or, dedicate your entire life to becoming a priest so you can have access to all the children you could ever fuck and then rely on the church to protect you from persecution. Now, all you have to do is continue playing World of Warcraft or whatever lame-ass video game it is that people play for days on end, into adulthood. Then, invite your underage friends over for “let’s keep this between us” time, every once in a while. Treating people like garbage is nothing to advocate. No sane individual thinks it’s a good idea to constantly be a complete fucking asshole to everyone they see. That’s how you get your ass kicked. But maybe if we didn’t worry so much about hurting others’ feelings, it would be easier to tell who the sickos were. John Pittsley @mitherpithley People won’t even bat an eye or think it’s suspicious at all really. They may even pat you on the back for being quirky enough to only have children as friends. Unfortunately, this is what happens when we stop letting insecure neanderthals berate and assault the physically inferior or plane ol’ lame. And if we want to keep our children safe, we’ll have to at least make guys feel less comfortable about some of the lame shit they do into adulthood. No one is saying the losers who are building bridges and trying to cure cancer need to get their underwear pulled up over their heads in the parking lot after work. Those guys have put some decent effort into their careers, are honestly trying to save human lives, and do help our overall situation here on earth. Just because the guys positively contribute to society doesn’t mean they should be free from ridicule, though. If anything, they deserve to be helped out more. Kind of like what a coach does with his players when he screams insults and crazy shit at them during practice. That way potential ‘nerds’ would not only be the brightest people we’ve got, they’d be some of the coolest and most desirable dudes around. 21

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