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The check-in desk<br />
Scene:<br />
The 'Elephant Airlines' check-in desk<br />
at an international airport in Britain<br />
Characters: The check-in clerk, an<br />
English traveler, Captain Strange (a<br />
pilot)<br />
The traveler comes to the check-in desk. He<br />
is carrying just one small bag, as hand luggage.<br />
Clerk: Good morning, sir. Can I help<br />
you?<br />
Traveler: Monte Carlo!<br />
Clerk: Pardon?<br />
Traveler: Monte Carlo!<br />
Clerk: Oh! Hello, Mr. Carlo.<br />
Traveler: No! I want to fly to Monte Carlo.<br />
Clerk: Oh, I see!<br />
Traveler: Can I check in here?<br />
Clerk: For the flight to Monte Carlo?<br />
Traveler: Yes.<br />
Clerk: Who are you flying with?<br />
Traveler: Pardon?<br />
Clerk: Who are you flying with?<br />
Traveler: Nobody - I'm going by myself.<br />
Clerk: No, sir. I mean, which airline are<br />
you flying with?<br />
Traveler: Oh. Elephant Airlines, Here's my<br />
ticket.<br />
Clerk: Thank you.<br />
Traveler: This is my first flight, you know.<br />
Clerk: Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy it, sir.<br />
(Reading from the ticket)<br />
Elephant Airlines, Flight 999 to<br />
Monte Carlo.<br />
Traveler: Err...Why is it called 'Elephant<br />
Airlines'?<br />
Clerk: Well, sir, the planes are very big.<br />
Traveler: (Pleased) Ah.<br />
Clerk: They move very slowly.<br />
Traveler: (Uneasy) Ah.<br />
Clerk: And they make a strange noise.<br />
Traveler: A strange noise?<br />
Clerk: Yes. A noise like an elephant.<br />
(The clerk makes an elephant<br />
noise.)<br />
Traveler: What?! Your planes sound like<br />
elephants?!<br />
Clerk: Yes, sir.<br />
Traveler: But - But - But -<br />
Clerk: Take it easy, sir. They're quite<br />
safe. Now... (Reading from the<br />
ticket) ...Mr Right.<br />
Traveler: Pardon?<br />
Clerk: Mr. Right.<br />
Traveler: No, that's wrong.<br />
Clerk: Pardon?<br />
Traveler: My name isn't Right, It's wrong.<br />
Clerk: Your name is Wrong?<br />
Traveler: Yes.<br />
Clerk: Well, Mr. Wrong -<br />
Traveler: No! My name isn't right on the<br />
ticket.<br />
Clerk: Yes, it is. Look... Mr. Right.<br />
Traveler: No... my name isn't Right!<br />
Clerk: Ah! Your name isn't Right!<br />
Traveler: Right!<br />
Clerk: Right! What is your name?<br />
Traveler: Watt<br />
Clerk: Your name.<br />
Traveler: Watt!<br />
Clerk: What is your name?!<br />
Traveler: Yes! Watt is my name!!<br />
Clerk: Ah! Right!<br />
Traveler: No! Watt!<br />
Clerk: Right! Watt!<br />
Traveler: Yes (Pointing at the ticket) Write<br />
Watt!<br />
The clerk corrects his name on<br />
the ticket.<br />
Clerk: Right. Any luggage, Mr. Watt?<br />
Traveler: Pardon?<br />
Clerk: Have you got any luggage?<br />
Traveler: Just this little bag.<br />
Clerk: That's fine. Now, smoking or nonsmoking?<br />
Traveler: Non-smoking, please.<br />
Clerk: Eating or non-eating?<br />
Traveler: Pardon.<br />
Clerk: Eating or non-eating? Do you<br />
want a meal on the plane?<br />
Traveler: Oh, Yes, please.<br />
Clerk: Er...Here you are.<br />
(The clerk produces a plastic<br />
chicken.)<br />
Traveler: What's that?!<br />
Clerk: Your lunch.<br />
Traveler: But that's a chicken.<br />
Clerk: Yes.<br />
Traveler: I can't eat that. I'm a vegetarian!<br />
96 SKETCHES
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