6 months ago

Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

“When they lay on

“When they lay on their death beds,” he said, “they prayed to me to give them more time. They prayed for immortality.” “Mortal love,” he said. “Mortal love only lasts as long as the mortal shell lives.” I didn’t know what he wanted. I didn’t know what any of this meant. I tried to close my eyes. I told myself this was only a dream, that I could wake up and none of this would mean anything. I focused on trying to pry my eyes open. Light played through here, but there were no shadows. Gid laid his hands flat on my belly and pulled me tight to his hot chest. “Stop,” I said. I jerked, and I fought. My body broke apart. I was dust. I floated. I faded. I disappeared on an invisible wind.

Real and Not Real Visiting hours started at six. For ninety minutes, I could pretend I wasn’t locked up. For ninety minutes, the world didn’t seem so heavy. I stood in the hallway waiting for Tayla to come through the door. I stood there and waited. It was 6:05. Eighty-five minutes left. Worry made me shaky and anxious. What if she didn’t show up? She had to show up. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to watch everyone else with their friends and family sitting around the tables in the common room talking like this was just another place in the world. 6:08. Eight minutes late. Selma came and stood with me for a moment. “She’ll be here,” she said. I’d started to worry that maybe Tayla’d been in a wreck. The car could have rolled into a ditch somewhere. She could be lying on the highway out there bleeding and I wouldn’t know it for hours. Selma put her hand on my shoulder. “Breathe,” she said. I sucked air into my lungs and ran my hands through my hair. I waited, but then there she was. I saw her through the narrow window in the door leading to the real world. I saw her putting her wallet in a locker. My belly flipped. Tayla came through the door and I rushed into her arms. Tears fell, and I thought I’d collapse with the relief. Tayla held me and let me cry. No one said anything, and we stood there like that for a long time. We stood there until I felt like I could walk and breathe again. Once I was okay, she stood back and looked at me. “You’re so pretty,” Tayla said. She kissed my forehead. “How’re things?”