9 months ago

Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

“Fine.” When I got

“Fine.” When I got to the door, he said my name. “It’ll be okay,” he said. Shaking my head, I went back to the hall and back to class. I sat in my chair thinking maybe the world really was ending. I was pregnant with a child whose father wasn’t real and Coy Henderson, the school shit, was kind for moment.

Heavy Music and movement. I spun and rose out of myself. Lights from the corners played over me like fingers. Shadows, hard edged and black, whirled with me. The music was all drums, banging and clanging, rubbing against me like a wind. I closed my eyes. Not a good idea. The room swirled like water in a toilet. Color bent and wrapped around my head. Faces formed and snapped at me. The floor tilted away and I fell. Bones rattled in my wrists. My knees hit hard, jarring into my hips. My head snapped forward, pulling at my spine. “Fuck,” I said. “Are you okay?” Angie asked. I didn’t know she was there. I came early so I could try some things without her. “Leave me alone,” I said. Nastiness burned. Angie crossed her arms on her chest. “Sorry,” I said. She dropped her bag on the floor. Slowly, I pushed myself up. Angie lifted my chin with her fingers. Silver stars sparkled around her eyes. Gold ran through the brown irises. “When’re you due?” she asked. Panic flared. I jerked away. I turned my back. “Come on,” Angie said. “We’re friends, right?” Darkness shot through with purple and green eddied like smoke through the room. “Butter,” Angie said. “It’s okay.” I found a corner and sank into it. Voices echoes through me. “She’s going to hate me,” I said. “Well,” Angie said. “You’re kind of fucked up.” Something cold cut along my scalp. “But I didn’t,” I said.