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6 months ago

Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

More Trouble Coy came

More Trouble Coy came looking for trouble. He came looking for a fight. I tried to ignore him. I tried to pretend he wasn’t there. But he was there. He stood in my way. He put a hand in the middle of my chest. His buddies snickered. “Don’t touch me,” I said. “Don’t touch me,” Coy mocked. “You’re a fat one,” he said. I was. I was fat. Thick thighs held broad hips. Hands like oars hung from heavy arms. I was strong but soft. A target. People talked about me, mostly behind my back. Coy, though, he wanted to see my face when he said it. He wanted to see me cry. I tried to step around him but he slid into my way again. He pushed his narrow chest into me, his face just inches from my face. “You smell like pussy,” he said. “Maybe if you shaved that beard.” “Leave me alone,” I said. Still, I touched my chin. Was that roughness whiskers? Jesus. Coy’s grin said he saw it and I hated that he saw it. “Why would I do that?” he asked. His hand came to my face and I backed away. “You need to go,” I said. He offered me twenty bucks for a blowjob. He smelled of weed and cigarettes. He smelled of hatred and violence. His eyes bugged from their sockets, froggish and dull. He raised his hand and I grabbed it. I twisted and shoved, and he fell. He got up and came after me. I swung. Blood flew and flowed. He dropped to the floor. “Jesus,” he said. “Fuck. You broke my nose.” His face was a mess in his hands. For a moment, I felt badly for him. But then he stood and started for me. Violence

gathered in his fists and face. I swung. He screamed and fell again. I almost bashed him with my foot, but Gid came. He stood, staring, one hand up. “Stop,” he said. I didn’t want to stop. My hands shook ,and I felt sick and if I stopped now, Coy might get up again. I couldn’t have him getting up again. Tayla came. She stopped and stared. She took everything in. Light turned to individual dusty grains. I wanted to puke. I wanted to run. There was nowhere to go. Gid stayed in his corner, his face filled with darkness. “Stop,” he said. Tayla stopped and took in the scene. Before moving, she told me to breathe. “Time to go,” Tayla said and steered me down the hall. Fear and anger turned my skin to thin paper. I didn’t know how I did what I did. I collapsed. “This is shit,” Tayla said. “What else was I supposed to do?” I asked. “Walk away,” she said. I shook my head. How did you walk away when there was nowhere to go?