8 months ago

Comfortable Madness First PDF 4-13-18

Consequences Pastel

Consequences Pastel landscapes hung in perfect rows on the walls. I sat there and stared out the window at a murder of crows cutting through the sky. I sat there and wondered what was going to happen to me. “Butter,” Mr. Skarey said. “You could have killed that boy.” “I thought about that.” A little fear crossed through his eyes. I felt bad. “What’re we going to do about this?” he asked. I shook my head. “Butter…” “He called me a dyke,” I said. Mr. Skarey shook his head. “I’m sorry,” I said. He put his fingertips together and frowned. “What am I supposed to do?” he asked. Thoughts of suicide floated through my mind. Voices told me how worthless things were. They told me that it be so much better if I were dead. Gid’s voice seeped into my head, like old blood. “They hate you,” he said. I closed my eyes. “They’re going to kill you,” he said. For a moment, it felt like he was in the room with us, but no one saw him. “You need to run,” he said. This was how it happened. I knew I needed help but if I told anyone about him, they’d lock me up again and I couldn’t stand the thought of that. Psych wards were all thick walls and windows that wouldn’t open and people who spent too much time talking to ghosts.

“I love you,” he said. Was this love? I didn’t know. All I knew was that it tasted of blood and ash. It cut through me like a glass blade.