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1156b Nicomachean Ethics and those who love each other wish good things to each other in that respect in which they love one another. Those who love one another for utility love the other not in himself, but only in so far as they will obtain some good for themselves from him. The same goes for those who love for pleasure; they do not like a witty person because of his character, but because they ®nd him pleasing to themselves. So those who love for utility are fond of the other because of what is good for themselves, and those who love for pleasure because of what is pleasant for themselves, not in so far as the person they love is who he is, but in so far as he is useful or pleasant. These friendships, then, are also incidental, since the person is loved not in so far as he is who he is, but in so far as he provides some good or pleasure. Such friendships are thus easily dissolved, when the parties to them do not remain unchanged; for if one party is no longer pleasant or useful, the other stops loving him. What is useful does not remain the same, but differs according to different circumstances. So when the reason for their being friends has gone, the friendship is dissolved as well, since it existed only for that reason. This kind of friendship seems to come about among older people in particular, because at that age they are pursuing what is useful, not what is pleasant, and also among those in their prime or their youth who are pursuing their own advantage. Nor do such people live in each other's company very much; for sometimes they do not even ®nd each other pleasant. They have no further need of such association, unless they are useful to each other, because each ®nds the other pleasant only to the extent that he hopes for some good from him. In this class people also put the friendship between host and guest. Friendship between the young seems to be for pleasure, since they live in accordance with their feelings, and pursue in particular what is pleasant for themselves and what is immediate. As they get older, however, what they ®nd pleasant begins to change. This is why they are quick to become friends and quick to stop; their friendship ¯uctuates along with what they ®nd pleasant, and this sort of pleasure is subject to rapid change. The young are also prone to erotic friendship, since it is generally a matter of following one's feelings, and aims at pleasure; they therefore quickly fall in love and quickly stop, often changing in one day. But they do wish to spend their days together and to live in one 146

Book VIII another's company, since this is how they attain what accords with their friendship. Complete friendship is that of good people, those who are alike in their virtue: they each alike wish good things to each other in so far as they are good, and they are good in themselves. Those who wish good things to a friend for his own sake are friends most of all, since they are disposed in this way towards each other because of what they are, not for any incidental reason. So their friendship lasts as long as they are good, and virtue is an enduring thing. Each of them is good without quali®cation and good for his friend, since good people are both good without quali®cation and bene®cial to each other. They are similarly pleasant as well, since good people are pleasant both without quali®cation and to each other; for each person ®nds his own actions and others like them pleasant, and the actions of good people are the same or alike. Such friendship is, as one might expect, lasting, since in it are combined all the qualities that friends should have: every friendship is for a good or for pleasure, either without quali®cation or for the person who loves, and is based on some similarity. To this kind of friendship belong all the qualities we have mentioned, in virtue of the participants themselves; for they are alike in this way, and their friendship has the other qualities ± what is unquali®edly good and what is unquali®edly pleasant ± and these are most of all worthy of love. Love and friendship, then, are found most of all among people like this, and in their best form. Naturally, such friendships are rare, because people of this kind are few. Besides, they require time and familiarity. As the saying goes, they cannot know each other until they have eaten the proverbial salt together; nor can they accept each other or be friends until each has shown himself to be worthy of love and gained the other's con®dence. Those who are quick to show the signs of friendship to one another wish to be friends, but are not, unless they are worthy of friendship and know it. For though the wish for friendship arises quickly, friendship does not. Chapter 4 This kind of friendship, then, is complete both in respect of its duration and in the other respects. Each gets from each the same or similar 147

(Hackett Classics) Aristotle, C. D. C. Reeve (Trans.)-Nicomachean Ethics-Hackett Publishing (2014)
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