You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
DOCTOR: Hey, they’re my mascot. You can’t blame them for celebrating our President’s many<br />
huge victories.<br />
PATIENT: I’m not only seeing elephants, doc—I’m also seeing strange things on your wall . . .<br />
DOCTOR: What things?<br />
PATIENT: Gaudy diplomas . . . Are they all yours? What’s that red, white and blue one with a<br />
dollar sign for the S’s in USA! USA! USA!<br />
DOCTOR: Look, why don’t you lie back on the examining table and close your eyes . . .<br />
PATIENT (reluctantly complying): If I may ask, where did you do your residency?<br />
DOCTOR: My what?<br />
PATIENT: The hospital where you—Wait, let me back up: what medical school did you graduate<br />
from?<br />
DOCTOR: From the best!<br />
PATIENT: I’m . . . starting . . . to feel . . . groggy.<br />
DOCTOR: Ah, good. By the way, I’m putting you on notice.<br />
PATIENT (opening his eyes): What does that mean?<br />
DOCTOR: It means that your anxieties and your fake-news triggered D.T.’s soon will soon be<br />
like they never happened, take my word for it.<br />
(He removes his surgical cap, runs a hand through his mane of blond hair.)<br />
PATIENT: Oh no—give me another sedative, quick!<br />
Author bio: Fred White's humorous fiction and satires have appeared in Clock<strong>wise</strong> <strong>Cat</strong><br />
#s 29 and 38; also in Praxis, Every Day Fiction, Satire and More, and Pidgeonholes. He<br />
lives near Sacramento, CA.
Change language