Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 363 – April 18, 2018
Featuring content from the hottest gay and gay-friendly spots in New York, each (free!) issue of Get Out! highlights the bars, nightclubs, restaurants, spas and other businesses throughout NYC’s metropolitan area that the city’s gay population is interested in.
Featuring content from the hottest gay and gay-friendly spots in New York, each (free!) issue of Get Out! highlights the bars, nightclubs, restaurants, spas and other businesses throughout NYC’s metropolitan area that the city’s gay population is interested in.
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Cover: Jack Mountford<br />
Photo Credit: Wilsonmodels<br />
ISSUE <strong>363</strong> - APRIL <strong>18</strong> 20<strong>18</strong><br />
PUBLISHER<br />
MIKE TODD<br />
MIKE@GETOUTMAG.COM<br />
(646) 761-3325<br />
DESIGN<br />
AGOTA CORREA<br />
AGOTA@GETOUTMAG.COM<br />
NATIONAL ADVERTISNG REPRESENTATIVE<br />
RIVENDELL MEDIA<br />
(908) 232-2021<br />
CONTRIBUTORS<br />
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT<br />
EILEEN SHAPIRO<br />
IAN-MICHAEL BERGERON<br />
ADVERTISE<br />
WITH<br />
___________________<br />
ANUNCIA<br />
EN<br />
The right price, the right distribution, the right size,<br />
the right quality, the right quantity, the right service<br />
24/7 - everything is just right! Call us to get the best<br />
prices in the tri-state area.<br />
CALL TODAY & GET OUR<br />
SPECIAL WELCOME OFFER!<br />
MIKE TODD<br />
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mike@getoutmag.com<br />
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a new play by S. ASHER GELMAN<br />
The Hit of the Off-Broadway Season!<br />
<strong>–</strong> THEATERMANIA<br />
the climax is just the beginning<br />
afterglowtheplay.com
New Hope Celebrates 15 Years of Community Pride • “The United Colors Of Love”<br />
"Showbiz Spitfire"<br />
Paige Turner<br />
Stephanie Chin<br />
Leonardo Martinez DJ Krk Josh Zuckerman Christine Martucci<br />
Chris Weaver as<br />
"Nedra Belle"<br />
As seen on The Voice Finale<br />
Stephanies Child<br />
Sunday 6 th - Sunday 20 th<br />
Kick-off of the BEST Cocktail Contest<br />
town wide <strong>Get</strong> OUT and Vote -<br />
Sponsored by Tito’s & Templeton Rye<br />
VOTE - bestcocktailcontest.com<br />
Saturday 12 th<br />
Pride 5k Run - Lambertville<br />
to New Hope Register online<br />
Rainbow Flag Event at Starbucks<br />
on Bridge & Main Streets 11:30am<br />
Special flag tribute music<br />
and daytime fireworks show<br />
Wednesday 16 th<br />
FACT Bingo - At the Eagle Fire Hall 6-9pm<br />
The Love Boat sails to Gilligan’s Island<br />
Bob Egan’s Open Mic<br />
Night on the Piano at The Raven<br />
in the Oak Room<br />
7:00 -10:00pm<br />
Thursday 17 th<br />
Service for Justice at St. Phillips<br />
Special guest speakers, more details online<br />
Pride Trivia Night Hosted by Danny E.<br />
Triumph Brewing Co. Union Square<br />
Friday <strong>18</strong> th<br />
Ferry Market Special Event<br />
Food, Spirits & Live Entertainment<br />
8:00-10:00pm- Special tickets online<br />
TGIF Party - The Raven and The Cub<br />
Room additional details online.<br />
Saturday May 19 th<br />
Annual Pride Parade 11:00am Starts in<br />
Lambertville crossing the bridge to New Hope<br />
Pride Fair Noon-5:00pm on West Ferry St.<br />
at the Logan Inn parking lot. Various Vendors,<br />
Live Entertainment, Fun all day!<br />
Saturday Night Fever NHC’s Annual<br />
Dance Party at The Raven 9:00pm-2:00am<br />
Sunday May 20 th<br />
Special events town wide, discover all we<br />
have to offer right on your mobile device.<br />
Sunday Funday Pool Party NHC presents the<br />
Annual farewell party HOTTER than ever before.<br />
“Showbiz Spitfire” Paige Turner, Food & Fun<br />
at the Raven Pool! Gate opens at 3:00-10:00pm<br />
Ladies 2000 Annual Pride Party<br />
at Havana on Main St. - Doors open 3:00pm<br />
Don’t miss out on all the fun!<br />
.com<br />
newhopecelebrates.com<br />
Follow us on Facebook...
BY EILEEN SHAPIRO<br />
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT<br />
Actor and dancer Jack<br />
Mountford has been<br />
breaking into the nightlife<br />
scene since he was 19,<br />
beginning in Orlando.<br />
Having moved to New<br />
York City five years ago,<br />
he continues his acting<br />
and dancing career, which<br />
he has aspired to do all<br />
of his life. We shared<br />
questions and answers, and<br />
I found him interesting,<br />
entertaining and very funny.<br />
JACK<br />
MOUNTFORD<br />
He has toured with Radio<br />
City Christmas Spectacular<br />
and was in the movie “Rock<br />
of Ages” along with Tom<br />
Cruise and Russell Brand.<br />
Well on his way to a fullfledged<br />
acting career,<br />
Mountford is someone to<br />
look out for!<br />
What motivated you to get<br />
involved with nightlife? And what<br />
do you do?<br />
I actually started working in nightlife<br />
right around 19 back in Orlando,<br />
Florida, which is where I’m originally<br />
from. I worked at most of the spots<br />
there, but Pulse was my home away<br />
from home, and I worked there for a<br />
little over two years. I moved up here<br />
to NYC five years ago and actually<br />
kind of stayed out of the scene until<br />
recently dancing for Voss Events<br />
Drag Brunch at the Highline Ballroom<br />
every Sunday, which is clearly in the<br />
daytime, but you get the drift. It’s<br />
such a fun show with an incredibly<br />
talented group of queens!
Tell me a little bit about the career you<br />
are trying to pursue.<br />
I’m primarily a dancer and an actor (I know,<br />
shocking in NYC). I’ve been engrossed in it<br />
my whole life. I toured with the Radio City<br />
Christmas Spectacular for a year. I played<br />
Joey Z in the Rock of Ages movie starring<br />
Tom Cruise and Russell Brand. I currently<br />
have a couple of commercial spots running.<br />
I just try to hustle my hardest and stay<br />
engaged in anything artistic, especially when<br />
it comes to dance (which you can see all<br />
over my gram). It keeps me sane and more<br />
than feeds my spirit, which is so necessary in<br />
this city.<br />
Where would you like to be in five years<br />
professionally?<br />
Eh, I try so hard to avoid these questions<br />
because of the anxiety they produce<br />
[laughs], but honestly I would just like to be<br />
on the right path in the same trajectory. I<br />
feel as long as I can do what I love and make<br />
a sustainable living out of it, I’m in the right<br />
space, so that’s really all I can aspire for.<br />
If you could pick two famous parents<br />
to be your parents, who would you<br />
pick and why?<br />
I know it’s super corny, but my<br />
parents are actually really amazing,<br />
so I don’t even know who I would<br />
swap them with! I think maybe<br />
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett<br />
Smith? Because they seem super<br />
supportive of their kids’ endeavors,<br />
and the entire family is talented?<br />
That or someone royal, because<br />
why not, y’know?<br />
Knowing what you know now,<br />
what advice would you give your<br />
younger self?<br />
Oh, wow. Probably just to breathe.<br />
That life has so many twists and turns,<br />
and the only way to really figure them<br />
out is to experience them for yourself. I<br />
moved here at 23 and thought I had it all<br />
figured out to learn that I absolutely did not,<br />
but that was only through countless trials<br />
and tribulations and many mistakes along<br />
the way. NYC really is one of those places<br />
that define and shape you into who you are<br />
and who you’re going to be, if you can make<br />
it here (you know the rest). I’d tell myself to<br />
own who you are and be comfortable and<br />
confident with what you bring to the table<br />
both professionally and personally. Life is a<br />
ride—buckle up!<br />
PHOTO BY JEFFREY EASON<br />
PHOTO BY WILSONMODELS<br />
Instagram: @jackm589
BY EILEEN SHAPIRO<br />
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT<br />
The 32nd annual Night of a Thousand Gowns featured a<br />
masquerade carnival theme laced with the opulence expected<br />
from New York’s Imperial Court. One of the most extravagant<br />
and decadent recurring charity events on the planet was packed<br />
with royalty, excitement, entertainment and effervescence.<br />
The event benefited God’s Love We Deliver, which has already<br />
raised $150,000 from the event.<br />
The event saw the reign end for Emperor XXVl, Harrington, and<br />
Regent Empress XXXl, Madison Mansfield, and welcomed the<br />
new Empress XXXll, Gayle Banter, and Regent Emperor XXVll,<br />
Rob Hunter de Woofs. President Mark Costanzo spoke, and there<br />
were inspiring, strong performances from Beth Ann Sacks and<br />
Dawn Tallman. Food and drink was abundant, as was fun and<br />
gaiety.<br />
Ultimately it was a night of celebration and glamour that the<br />
Imperial Court of New York can be proud of.
week in pictures >> BY WILSONMODELS / wilsonmodels.blogspot.com<br />
NIGHT OF 1000 GOWNS
week in pictures<br />
NIGHT OF 1000 GOWNS<br />
>> BY WILSONMODELS / wilsonmodels.blogspot.com
week in pictures >> BY WILSONMODELS / wilsonmodels.blogspot.com<br />
NIGHT OF 1000 GOWNS
BY T. MARC NEWELL<br />
INTERVIEW:<br />
MARCUS SCOTT<br />
- NEW YORK CITY -<br />
PHOTO BY GASPAR MARQUEZ<br />
Writer MARCUS SCOTT, who leads a new<br />
generation of young writers, is set to unveil<br />
his new short play “Blood Orange” as part of<br />
the Downtown Urban Arts Festival. “Blood<br />
Orange” explores the fetishization of black<br />
male bodies, hookup culture, the nature<br />
of interracial gay relationships and sexual<br />
encounters, power play and upward mobility.<br />
His daring and provocative work has already<br />
garnered accolades across the country,<br />
including the Playwrights Foundation Bay<br />
Area Playwrights Festival and Drama League.
Tell us about your new play Blood<br />
Orange.<br />
“Blood Orange” follows Dorian, an<br />
<strong>18</strong>-year-old African-American high<br />
school senior, who confronts and tries to<br />
make amends with Vladimir, a childhood<br />
friend and former lover, before he<br />
goes off to college. Only Vladimir,<br />
still in love with Dorian, has plans of<br />
his own to get him back, though his<br />
method may be a lot more nefarious<br />
than it appears. “Blood Orange” is a<br />
power play that explores modern day<br />
hookup culture, interracial relationships,<br />
microaggressions and casual racism,<br />
privilege and upward mobility.<br />
What is your inspiration to write plays<br />
like “Blood Orange”?<br />
“Blood Orange” was originally written<br />
as a prologue of sorts to a full-length<br />
play I’m developing called “Sibling<br />
Rivalries.” It was initially written to<br />
introduce the protagonist and to get<br />
into his mindset, but I also wanted<br />
to explore the fetishization of the<br />
black male anatomy, a recurring<br />
theme in the aforementioned fulllength<br />
psychodrama. But what<br />
inspires me want to write plays with<br />
queer characters of color, especially<br />
black characters, is the dearth of<br />
diverse queer POC stories onstage<br />
and off. Most LGBTQIA stories that<br />
get produced are cast with mostly<br />
ethnically non-diverse white actors<br />
while the stories are often centered<br />
on non-diverse white gay men. From<br />
coming-of-age stories to bits of<br />
historical accounts, white gay men are<br />
the epicenter of most queer stories. If<br />
people of color are featured, they have<br />
to be these paragons of masculinity with<br />
accidental six-pack abs, a contract with<br />
Wilhelmina and acting prowess that<br />
equals the biggest stars on Broadway or<br />
Hollywood. Why can’t we have a story<br />
about a socially awkward black gay boy<br />
experiencing a sexual awakening, or a<br />
comedy about 20-something East Asian<br />
man who has become the romantic<br />
love interest of two men, or a Pakistani<br />
teenager flirting with androgyny, or a<br />
Latin boy falling in love in the favelas?<br />
What are you working on now?<br />
I am developing the script for<br />
a reimagining of Beethoven’s<br />
“Fidelio” with Ethan Heard for<br />
Heartbeat Opera, which will<br />
premiere at Baruch Performing Arts<br />
Center in May 20<strong>18</strong>. I also wrote<br />
a short play about alt-right mass<br />
shooters, which will be read in front<br />
of a live audience at Symphony<br />
Space for Athena Theatre’s Falling<br />
Forward: An Evening of Ten-Minute<br />
Plays around the same time. When I<br />
am preparing for those, I am writing<br />
three full-length projects: “Sibling<br />
Rivalries,” a play about a black<br />
fraternity on an Ivy League campus;<br />
“Return to Cookie Mountain,” a play<br />
with music about two codependent<br />
black hipsters who start a rock band;<br />
and “Stranger Danger,” a musical<br />
about a little known real-life crime<br />
that affected black America.<br />
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25<br />
BLOOD ORANGE<br />
BY MARCUS SCOTT<br />
THEATRE 80 ST. MARKS<br />
80 ST. MARKS PLACE,<br />
EAST VILLAGE, NYC<br />
DUAFNYC.COM
FRIDAY, APRIL 13<br />
THE VAST MYSTERY OF WHO YOU ARE: PART ONE BY KIM YAGED<br />
The Vast Mystery of Who You Are is an irreverent, hard-hitting exploration of love via sex<br />
parties and philosophical sparring about the nature of relationships.<br />
SATURDAY, APRIL 14<br />
<strong>GAY</strong>.PORN.MAFIA BY JOE GULLA<br />
Bronx, LA, SoHo to Ibiza! Porn Stars, Gay Priests, Mafia<br />
Dons and Abstract Expressionists! Smart! Fun!<br />
Funny! Fearless! “Gay.Porn.Mafia” has it all!<br />
Grab your ticket! Leave the gun! Take the<br />
cannoli! You’ll feel like “family” and laugh<br />
out loud (emphasis on “out”!) It’s the<br />
same-sex, Italian-style, x-rated<br />
offer you can’t refuse!<br />
NEW YORK LIVE ARTS<br />
THEATRE 80<br />
ST. MARKS<br />
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25<br />
BLOOD ORANGE<br />
BY MARCUS SCOTT<br />
Blood Orange explores the fetishization of<br />
black male bodies, hook-up culture, the nature<br />
of interracial gay relationships and sexual<br />
encounters, power play and upward mobility.<br />
MIRRORS<br />
BY AZURE D. OSBORNE-LEE<br />
Mirrors is the story of two women mourning the death<br />
of a loved one while sifting through the secrets of a shared past.<br />
MAJOR SUPPORTERS: <br />
MEDIA PARTNERS: <br />
DESIGN BY SOMOSARTE.COM
BY EILEEN SHAPIRO<br />
CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT<br />
MEET<br />
DJ IAN<br />
FORD<br />
One of the most prolific<br />
and technically marvelous<br />
DJs around, Ian Ford is in<br />
demand! An immaculate<br />
producer, a staple in the<br />
LGBT community and a<br />
venue owner as well, I<br />
couldn’t resist speaking<br />
with Ford.<br />
He is probably one of<br />
the nicest guys around,<br />
and I would fully<br />
recommend him for any<br />
kind of event you could<br />
possibly be thinking of. I<br />
haven’t known him long, but I wish I had! We spoke about his DJ<br />
experiences, and I was able to get his views on music, clubs and<br />
life. He’s just one of those people who I met and fell instantly in<br />
love with.<br />
What influenced you to<br />
become a DJ?<br />
Ever since I was kid I made<br />
mixtapes for myself, family<br />
and friends, especially<br />
my mother. I was also<br />
technically inclined, so<br />
when I moved home from<br />
college someone asked<br />
me to help build a club.<br />
They gave me a night, and<br />
it all went from there. Even<br />
when I worked daytime<br />
corporate jobs, I’ve had<br />
one or more steady gigs,<br />
except for a two-month<br />
period when I left Florida<br />
and came to New York<br />
City.<br />
What is the craziest<br />
party you’ve ever done?<br />
Hands down, it had to be<br />
the last night of The Bank,<br />
before we moved our party<br />
to another venue uptown.<br />
The club was a legendary<br />
goth/’80s/industrial club,<br />
which was a mainstay<br />
in NYC’s underground<br />
culture. The very last night<br />
was packed from open to<br />
close for the Albion party,<br />
with incredible energy<br />
bordering on a riot. One<br />
wrong track may have<br />
incited a free-for-all. Wow,<br />
that was a night! In fact,<br />
the entire eight-year run<br />
of Albion holds a special<br />
place the hearts of many.<br />
One equally amazing<br />
party was the last night of<br />
Splash. I shared the night<br />
with other residents, but<br />
it was off the hook from<br />
beginning to end!
It really felt like the “old<br />
days” in almost a carnal<br />
free-for-all. I was one of<br />
the DJs at the AnimeNEXT<br />
Convention and Rave for<br />
two years in a row, and<br />
you’ve never seen a more<br />
colorful and excited crowd.<br />
I miss that, but it was time<br />
to let others have the fun.<br />
Most DJs these days are<br />
producers as well. What’s<br />
your view on that?<br />
On one hand, producing<br />
is almost always a<br />
requirement for playing<br />
in the big leagues, and it<br />
opens many doors. The<br />
other side of this is that<br />
it defines you, meaning<br />
people expect a certain<br />
sound and style when you<br />
play. If you get it right,<br />
you’re a superstar, but if<br />
you miss that mark then it<br />
can cause you problems.<br />
There will always be haters,<br />
so that has to be put in<br />
perspective as well. And<br />
then the higher you go, the<br />
more delicate the balance.<br />
As a producer, you really<br />
have to be on top of your<br />
game. I have the greatest<br />
respect for those who are<br />
succeeding.<br />
What is it you enjoy most<br />
about DJing, and what<br />
sets you apart from other<br />
DJs?<br />
I’m able to read a crowd<br />
and cross-connect genres<br />
in a (I’d like to think)<br />
unique and refreshing<br />
way. This has to happen<br />
in real time, and it can’t<br />
really be planned, because<br />
live energy isn’t always<br />
predictable. I absolutely<br />
love working with “energy”<br />
and intuition, but the most<br />
important aspects are<br />
the human connections<br />
this career affords you.<br />
I’m generally shy, but in<br />
the DJ booth I feel more<br />
connected and outgoing<br />
than I would normally in<br />
just a room of people. I’m<br />
the wallflower type, and as<br />
a DJ, I prefer to be part of<br />
the experience as opposed<br />
to the focus. People come<br />
out for various reasons—<br />
to recover from a rough<br />
week, to let loose, meet<br />
someone, to be seen, to<br />
feel fabulous—whatever<br />
the reason, it’s about them<br />
and not me.<br />
I’ve noticed that people<br />
come to see the DJs now<br />
as opposed to the actual<br />
artists. What’s your view<br />
on that?<br />
I think that’s great! A<br />
successful DJ has worked<br />
all aspects of his or her<br />
career to bring people<br />
together! On the other<br />
hand, it seems there<br />
are people whose other<br />
careers aren’t doing well,<br />
so they jump on the DJ<br />
bandwagon using their<br />
clout but don’t really<br />
understand what’s needed<br />
to deliver a good set. Being<br />
a DJ isn’t an easy career<br />
choice past a certain level,<br />
and I have the greatest<br />
respect for those who’ve<br />
legitimately earned their<br />
way to stardom. A good DJ<br />
puts a great deal of effort,<br />
practice, thought and him/<br />
herself into the art, and I<br />
believe they work as hard<br />
at it as any other act…<br />
maybe more. For instance,<br />
most (but not all) bands will<br />
play their songs and sets,<br />
but a DJ has to react in the<br />
moment…every moment<br />
really, and work with what’s<br />
happening right then and<br />
there without losing sight<br />
of the big picture.<br />
Who are your most<br />
scared influences?<br />
Good question, because<br />
there are so many! Hands<br />
down, my favorite DJ is Hex<br />
Hector. He has a unique<br />
way of reading the crowd<br />
and delivering a brand-new<br />
set with each and every<br />
performance. He takes you<br />
on an emotional journey<br />
that always fits the time and<br />
place. DJ Paulo is similar,<br />
and of course Frankie<br />
Knuckles is king. David<br />
Bowie, Depeche Mode,<br />
The Cure, Jam & Spoon,<br />
Prodigy, Rabbit in the<br />
Moon, Kristine W and Blank<br />
& Jones all rate up there,<br />
but honestly there are too<br />
many to list.<br />
Let’s talk about your<br />
Brooklyn coffee house:<br />
name, address and what<br />
goes on there?<br />
Welcome to The Caffeine<br />
Underground! I miss the<br />
‘80s, ‘90s and early 2000s;<br />
creative culture was king. I<br />
opened my shop as a place<br />
for people to come expand<br />
their spirits through music,<br />
art, esoteric studies, martial<br />
arts and other creative<br />
expression. This is a place<br />
for people to expand<br />
and enrich their spirits, a<br />
sort of community center.<br />
To that end, we have DJ<br />
events, live music acts,<br />
comedy shows, martial<br />
arts classes, art gallery<br />
showcases, neighborhood<br />
meetings, open mic nights<br />
and more. We sell such<br />
goodies as kava kava<br />
drinks, CBD coffee drinks,<br />
awesome food, interesting<br />
non-alcoholic cocktails<br />
and smoothies and really<br />
amazing coffee (of course!).<br />
447 Central Ave<br />
(corner of Putnam),<br />
Brooklyn 11221<br />
Instagram / Facebook @<br />
caffeineunderground<br />
caffeineunderground.com<br />
ianfford.com
BY IAN-MICHAEL BERGERON<br />
@ianmichaelinwonderland<br />
PART THREE<br />
THE FIRST DATE<br />
Flash forward: one year later.<br />
AJ and I break up; I go home<br />
with a stranger; I have twosecond<br />
sex with an old friend<br />
I ran into at The Ritz. (What a<br />
fucking recap.) And then, after<br />
all of that, C reaches out to see<br />
how I’m doing.<br />
When he did, I honestly wasn’t<br />
sure. I was working on some<br />
of the best writing I’d done<br />
in years, but a lot of it was<br />
coming from a place of loss<br />
and regret.<br />
I didn’t tell him all of<br />
that. Instead, I<br />
told him that<br />
I was doing<br />
surprisingly<br />
well<br />
since the<br />
breakup,<br />
and that<br />
I thought<br />
I looked<br />
five years<br />
younger—and<br />
that last<br />
part is<br />
absolutely<br />
true.<br />
“We<br />
should<br />
get a<br />
drink<br />
and catch up,” he messaged<br />
me.<br />
“That sounds suspiciously like<br />
a date,” I teased.<br />
“Are you saying I’m finally<br />
getting date number two?”<br />
I stared at my phone a<br />
moment, deciding how to<br />
respond. “No. Not date<br />
number two: It’s more a re-do.<br />
Or, simply, a first date.”<br />
“Sounds good to me.”<br />
I met him at his apartment,<br />
golden sequin jacket ready<br />
for a reveal underneath a<br />
wool coat. He came outside<br />
and walked me to the Brooks<br />
Atkinson Theater. “Wait—did<br />
you get us tickets to Waitress?”<br />
“The guy who runs the box<br />
office is a regular at my<br />
restaurant,” he smiled. “I’ve<br />
been after them for a while.”<br />
On our way in, the doorman<br />
asked if we had any bags for<br />
him to check. “No baggage,”<br />
C said, smirking at me.<br />
“That’s what they all say on<br />
first dates,” I shot back. The<br />
doorman didn’t smile.<br />
Once in our orchestra seats,<br />
we overhead someone in<br />
the row behind us<br />
humming<br />
“When Doves Cry” by Prince.<br />
“I always had a crush on<br />
Prince, growing up,” he said.<br />
“Then I am not your type,” I<br />
laughed.<br />
“No, you’re definitely my<br />
type.”<br />
“I’m really more princeSS than<br />
Prince.” He chuckled and put<br />
his hand on my knee.<br />
We went back to his place<br />
afterward. “I thought about<br />
this for so long,” he breathed,<br />
taking off my clothes. And, if<br />
I’m honest, I had been too.<br />
After we came, I immediately<br />
went to the bathroom to clean<br />
up. I felt weird, uneasy, and<br />
realized that the spark I felt<br />
between us wasn’t romantic—<br />
it was sexual. With the act,<br />
I put out the flame, and all I<br />
wanted to do was go home to<br />
be alone with my insecurities.<br />
One particular song from<br />
Waitress clung to me—“When<br />
He Sees Me”—and I found<br />
myself singing it in the<br />
following days.<br />
“What if when he sees me,<br />
what if he doesn’t like it,<br />
what if he runs the other<br />
way, and I can’t hide from<br />
it? What happens then? If<br />
when he knows me, he’s only<br />
disappointed, what if I give<br />
myself away to only get it<br />
given back? I couldn’t live with<br />
that.”<br />
It made me think of AJ, and<br />
the past two years, and all<br />
the suffocated flames.<br />
PHOTO BY STEVE BRENNAN
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