The Contemporary Man Magazine june 2018

The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Volume 1.Issue 1 1

The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

AS I LAY DYING TEASE FIRST NEW MUSIC 28

NEW RELEASES FROM GHOST, KATAKLYSUM, AND MORE OUT TODAY -

6/1 29

Alien Weaponry – Tū 29

Ghost – Prequelle 30

Gruesome – Twisted Prayers30

Kataklysm – Meditations 31

Nervosa – Downfall Of Mankind 31

Witchskull – Coven's Will 32

AI ETHICS COUNCIL IN SINGAPORE WILL GIVE SMART ADVICE 77

TEASES 28-HOUR LAPTOP BATTERY LIFE. HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO

KNOW 79

MEN’S SUMMER FASHION – LATEST TRENDS IN 2018 121

Men’s Summer Style Essentials 121

The Shorts 121

Shorts Buyer’s Guide 123

The Shirts 124

Shirts Buyer’s Guide 126

The Pants 127

Pants Buyer’s Guide 128

The Shoes 128

Shoes Buyer’s Guide 129

Outerwear and Accessories 129

BEST MEN’S COLOGNES (JUNE. 2018) 132

THE 7 BEST EYE CREAMS IN 2018

145

Yes To Blueberries Age Refresh Eye Firming Treatment 146

Tarte Maracuja C-Brighter Eye Treatment 147

Kate Somerville Age Arrest Eye Cream 148

Kiehl’s Creamy Eye Treatment with Avocado 149

Avon Anew Clinical Thermafirm 150

Farmacy Dew It All Total Eye Cream with Echinacea GreenEnvy 151

Clinique Repair Anti-Gravity Eye Cream 152

THE BEST FACIAL MOISTURIZERS (2018) 153

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Moisturizers For Dry Skin 154

Moisturizers For Normal Skin 155

Moisturizers For Sensitive Skin 156

Moisturizers For Oily Skin 157

Moisturizers For Combination Skin 158

Moisturizers For Acne Prone Skin 159

THE SECRET TO CURING CHRONIC 160

CHAPPED LIPS 160

SKINCARE GUIDE FOR MEN WITH 162

SENSITIVE SKIN 162

Here’s 3 steps to get rid of neck bumps forever: 163

GUIDE TO STOP (EXCESSIVE) 165

ARMPIT SWEAT 165

The Best Antiperspirants For Underarm Sweat 166

1. Certain-Dri 166

2. SweatBlock 167

3. ZeroSweat 167

4. Odaban 168

Sweat Proof Undershirts 168

The Thompson Tee Sweat Proof Undershirt 169

See a Doctor 169

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE 195

Growing Up is Not Bad 205

No One Owes You Anything 206

Spend More Time with Men, Not Boys 206

Find Meaningful Purpose 207

Do Not Allow Our Children to be Raised by Women Exclusively 207

Boys Need to be Challenged 207

There Must be Consequences 208

SINGLE DADS 215

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

PREPARING SONS FOR MANHOOD AS A SINGLE DAD 215

Finding His Identity 215

If Mom Is Not Present 215

Preparing Him For The Battle Ahead 216

10 THINGS TO WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR DAUGHTER 217

1. “I love you from the bottom of my heart.” 217

2. “I believe in you.” 217

3. “I think you’re beautiful.” 217

4. “You make me proud in so many ways.” 218

5. “I want you to know what my treasures are.” 218

6. “Let me tell you about the day you were born.” 218

7. “Don’t ever settle for second best.” 218

8. “Sometimes my love makes me afraid.” 219

9. “You can always come to me—no matter what—and I will help you figure things out.” 219

10. “Now I want you to listen to my heart.” 219

10 PERFECT DADDY-DAUGHTER DATE IDEAS 219

1. Do Her Favorite Thing. 220

2. Go on a Picnic. 220

3. Paint Pottery. 220

4. Go to a Carnival/Festival. 220

5. See a Show. 220

6. Take Her Shopping. 220

7. Try Geo-caching. 221

8. Have a Dinner Date. 221

9. Host a Ball at Home or Go to a Formal Dance Class. 221

10. Have a Photo Scavenger Hunt. 221

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

10 THINGS I HOPE MY CHILDREN REMEMBER ABOUT ME AS A FATHER

222

1. He knew how to have fun. 222

2. He gave us lots of physical affection. 222

3. He spent time with us. 222

4. He knew how to be both our father and daddy. 222

5. He was patient and kind. 223

6. He was helpful. 223

7. He was in love with our mother. 223

8. He loved serving others. 223

9. He loved me unconditionally. 223

10. He loved God. 223

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO MAKE WISE DECISIONS 224

1. Let them make mistakes 224

2. Expose them to the ‘real world’ 224

3. Teach your child to know herself 225

4. Learn your child’s interests 225

5. Talk to your child 225

6. Get involved 225

7. Money, money, money 225

8. Pile on the PRAISE 226

9. The friends we keep 226

10. Lead by example 226

The best lessons in life are caught, not taught, by a child’s parents. 226

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Editorial:

Editor-in-Chief Travis S. Miller

Senior Editor Bobby Manalo

Writer Tracy Holt

Writer Temperance Acquistapace

Writer Paul Rodriguez

Legal Notice

This is the boring, legal stuff the my lawyers has asked me to include! Please respect our material by

not putting it out there on the internet. Thank you. we appreciate it.

copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the

copying, distribution, or creating of any derivative works. You understand that this Magazine

contains an expression of opinions. The information provided should only be used for personal

entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content

and hold Contemporary Solutions, Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or

Volume 1.Issue 1 6

The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

claim. You may “NOT” print a copy of this magazine for any other personal use. However, it is illegal

to print this Magazine, or to sells distributes it in any way."

The Contemporary Man THE MISSION:

The Contemporary Man THE MISSION: is Hoping to become one of the world's most

popular men's lifestyle magazine. includes monthly features on subjects such as fashion,

fitness, dating, money and entertainment.

Tips from style on choosing a new suit to workout advice on modernizing tired fitness

routines complement editorial features on relationships, finance and entertainment.

It is my life’s mission to transform the lives of MEN through my programs and books as

well through my information online.

I want to see you succeed. Words such as honor, loyalty, trust, integrity, and courage

are words that have powerful meanings, but they are only words unless you live by

them.

As I talk with other men, I can see that there is a massive need for learning how to be a

better father. But I’ve also seen a need for reliable and honorable men outside of the

home. Guys, we’re losing the meaning of manhood.

We’ve gone away from being reliable, rugged, independent, and tough to a collection of

wimpy, dependent, whiners. Something has got to be done! “Some say there is no such

thing as an Alpha made Man’s man.

That nothing can be accomplished in life without the help of others. That a man cannot

reach his goals without assistance.

And while that may be true, these people are not the source or the cause of his success.

A man becomes an Alpha made the moment he decides to shape his world, rather than

be formed by it. It is a spark… A decision… An internal will that can never be given by

another and that can never be purchased or borrowed.

At that moment, he becomes the sole architect and artist of his life - an Alpha made

Man’s man, where the rest of the world serves as the hammer and chisel he wields in

order to shape it to his desire. The Contemporary Man was created for men who want to

achieve greatness.

Who wants to leave their mark on the world, and create a legacy of honor, integrity, and

achievement in every aspect of their lives.”

-Travis S. Miller

Editor-in-Chief/Founder of the Contemporary Man.

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

T’s Thoughts:

I was in a conversation with my friend, and he asked me:

“How do you feel about people who say “yep?”

After about a second I said, “I hate it, it’s so indecisive.”

Which then turned into a conversation about the many different variations of saying

“yes.” I feel that “yes” is the OG (Original Gangster for everyone else that’s not my five

friends who use “OG”) of affirming something. Since the meaning of “yes,” we’ve gotten

grunts,

yuups, head nods, fist pounds, looks, and about thirty other things to show that we

mean, “yes.”

When dealing with someone over email or text message, I think that the most commonly

used terms of “yes” are “yep” and “yup.” or yeah. Ya.

The thing about not saying “yes” is that it can mean so much.

The words “yup” and “yep” and "Yea" or "YA" can seem so incredibly passive that it

means there is probably some weight behind using them. Here is a quick little break

down that I may have spent way too much time thinking about-

Using “Yes” –

Is there a better word? As I mentioned above, it’s the OG of affirming a situation. It gives

comfort. I feel that if someone uses “yes” it’s a binding contract or at least should be

viewed as one. When you get a “yes” you know what the person means.

Using “Yup” –

“Yup” is tricky. Imagine sending this email:

Hey man, I’m thinking about getting engaged, do you like my girlfriend?

Then receiving:

Yup.

That doesn’t exactly seem too reassuring. I have no idea why you’d email that to

someone, but you get the point, right? But on the flip side “yup” is such a bro term.

Hey man, I’m going to get some beers for the game, you want any?

Yup!

I can hear the person responding with “yup” being a doofus who is already drunk. “Yup”

is very dependent on context, to be honest, but it’s no “yes” and “yes” doesn’t rely on

context, its definitive.

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Using “Yep” or Yeah, or YA –

The most passive of the bunch. I hate using and also receiving a “yep” because I feel

like I always envision the person who is writing it. The only time I ever consciously have

used “yep” it’s when I agree with something, but I’m not happy about it, so I'm passive,

and I want that person to know I’m not satisfied.

Using “yep” is saying, “I’m so annoyed with you.” Also, the word “yep” drastically

changes depending on context and the relationship you have with someone.

Imagine if you’re dating someone and you send this:

Would you like to grab some

food tonight?

And you receive:

Yep. Yeah, or YA

That response is saying that the other person has nothing better to do so they’ll get

dinner with you.

OR:

Did you finish the presentation?

Yep. Yeah, or YA

That’s a “fuck you stop asking me about my work and focus on yourself” response.

Yes. Yup. Yep. Yeah, or YA And I’m currently not taking into consideration the voice to

voice interaction when you can hear people say these different words, once you enter

that world it’s a whole new monster. To avoid any confusion, we need to stick with the

OG.

When asked a question, don’t confuse people… just go yes.

Side note to all of this: If you’re the type of person who to people with a “Y” then that’s a

whole new ball of wax.

That means you’re either A) Lazy B) Have an old phone and don’t want to type out the

words. C) Not a fan of technology and could give a shit D) You receive so many

messages in a day that you can’t stand two other letters. Or E) You think you’re so

incredibly talented.

Some of those reasons stated in the side note are understandable but try to stick with

yes for the sake of humanity.

-Travis

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

1988 (MCMLXXXVIII) was a leap year starting on Friday of the Gregorian calendar, the

1988th year of the Common Era (CE) and Anno Domini (AD) designations, the 988th

year of the 2nd millennium, the 88th year of the 20th century, and the 9th year of the

1980s decade.

In the 20th century, the year 1988 has the most Roman numeral digits (11).

1988 was a crucial year in the early history of the Internet—it was the year of the first

well-known computer virus, the 1988 Internet worm. The first permanent intercontinental

Internet link was made between the United States (NSFNET) and Europe (Nordunet) as

well as the first Internet-based chat protocol, Internet Relay Chat.[1] The concept of the

World Wide Web was first discussed at CERN in 1988.[2]

The Soviet Union began its major restructuring towards a mixed economy at the

beginning of 1988 and began its gradual collapse. The Iron Curtain began to disintegrate

in 1988 as Hungary began allowing freer travel to the West.[3] The first extrasolar planet,

Gamma Cephei Ab (confirmed in 2002) was detected this year and the World Health

Organization began its mission to eradicate polio.

Jun 1 "Les Miserables" opens at Shubert Theatre, LA

Jun 1 "Morton Downey Jr Show" debuts in TV syndication

Jun 1 Train crash kills two in Zeeland, Netherlands

Jun 2 61st National Spell Bee: Rageshree Ramachandran wins spelling elegiacal

Jun 2 Consumer Reports calls for a ban on the Suzuki Samurai automobile

Film release premierFilm Premier

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Jun 3 "Big" film directed by Penny Marshall, starring Tom Hanks premieres in US

Jun 3 Margo Adams sues Red Sox 3rd baseman Wade Boggs for palimony

Jun 4 "Cabaret" closes at Imperial Theater NYC after 262 performances

Jun 4 42nd Tony Awards: "M Butterfly" and "Phantom of the Opera" win

Jun 4 Longest game in Baltimore Memorial Stadium (5:46) 14 inn (beat NY 7-6)

Sports record brokenBaseball Record

Jun 4 Rickey Henderson steals 2 bases for record 249 as a NY Yankee

Jun 5 1st Children's Miracle Network Telethon raises $590,000

Jun 5 Kay Cottee sails into Sydney as 1st woman to circle globe alone

Jun 5 Laura Davies wins LPGA Jamie Farr Toledo Golf Classic

Jun 5 Longest champagne cork flight is 177'9 in NY

Jun 5 Russian orthodox church celebrates it's 1,000th anniversary

Sport awardTennis Open

Jun 5 87th Men's French Open: Mats Wilander beats Henri Leconte (7-5, 6-2, 6-1)

Jun 5 87th Women's French Open: Steffi Graf beats Natalia Zvereva (6-0, 6-0)

Jun 6 22nd Music City News Country Awards: Randy Travis & Statler Brothers

Jun 6 3 giant turtles found in Bronx sewage plant

Jun 6 George H. W. Bush makes campaign promise to support reparations for WW II to

Japanese-American internees (promise broken, May 1989)

Jun 7 Aluminum contaminates Cornwall's water supply

Jun 8 Nippon Airways announces that painting eyeballs on Jets cut bird collisions by

20%

Jun 9 "Bloodsport (1987)" premieres in Germany

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Jun 9 US Attorney General Edwin Meese orders Joseph Doherty deported to UK

Jun 10 Greatest number of participants (31,678) on a bicycle tour (London)

Jun 11 "Everything Your Heart Desires" by Daryl Hall & John Oates peaks at #3

Jun 11 "Rooty Toot Toot" by John Cougar Mellencamp peaks at #61

Event of interest

Jun 11 "We All Sleep Alone" by Cher peaks at #14

Jun 11 120th Belmont: Eddie Delahoussaye aboard Risen Star wins in 2:26.6

Jun 11 25th Curtis Cup: British Isles, 11-7

Jun 11 Freedomfest - Mandela addresses Wembley Stadium London

Jun 11 Galina Chistyakova of USSR sets long jump woman's record (24"8½")

Jun 11 Yanks' Rick Rhoden becomes 1st pitcher to DH (0 for 1 with an RBI)

Jun 12 6th Seniors Players Golf Championship: Billy Casper

Jun 12 Andy Hampton is 1st American to win Round of Italy

Jun 12 Mei-Chi Cheng wins LPGA Rochester Golf International

Jun 12 The Republic of Ireland beats England 1-0 at Euro88 thanks to a headed goal by

Ray Houghton. This is Ireland's first competitive match at a major football tournament.

Jun 13 45th time opposing pitchers hit HRs, Mark Davis (Padres)/Mike Krukow

Jun 13 Boston Red Sox are 10 games back in AL, & go on to win AL East

Jun 13 Fed jury finds Liggett liable in death of NJ woman of lung cancer

Event of interestEvent of Interest

Jun 13 George Harrison releases "This is Love"

Singer-Songwriter George Harrison

Jun 13 US Supreme Court refuses to hear Yonkers argument they aren't racist

Jun 14 Woman sues Chuck Berry for $5,000,000, alleges he hit her

Jun 14 "Guy" debut album by Guy is released

Jun 15 NASA launches space vehicle S-213

Jun 15 Turkish premier Özal meets Greek premier Papandreou in Athens

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Jun 16 Boston Red Sox Barrett steals home

Jun 16 In Santa Barbara, CA, a team of 32 divers begin cycling underwater on a

standard tricycle, to complete 116.66 mi in 75 hrs 20 mins

Event of interest

Jun 17 Givens' Family reports Mike Tyson beats his wife Robin Givens

Jun 17 Microsoft releases MS DOS 4.0

Jun 17 Soyuz TM-5 launches

Jun 17 Women sentenced to 90 years in 1st product tampering murder case

Jun 18 Jeff Hamilton, hits 8,000th Dodger home run

Jun 19 88th US Golf Open: Curtis Strange shoots a 278 at Country Club Mass

Jun 19 Namphy takes control of Haitian government

Jun 19 Shirley Furlong wins LPGA Lady Keystone Golf Open

Jun 19 World's then largest sausage completed at 13 1/8 miles long

Jun 19 32 divers finish cycling underwater on a standard tricycle, to complete 116.66 mi

in 75 hrs 20 mins

Jun 20 Coup in Haiti: Henri Namphy overthrows Leslie Manigat, general assembly

dissolved

Jun 20 NYC WABC-AM becomes flagship radio station of NJ Devils

Jun 20 Price is Right model Janice Pennington is knocked out by a TV camera

Jun 20 WABC officially becomes the NJ Devils new home radio

Jun 20 Supreme Court upholds a law that made it illegal for private clubs to discriminate

against women and minorities

Jun 21 42nd NBA Championship: LA Lakers beat Detroit Pistons, 4 games to 3

Jun 21 Many killed at demonstration against General Ne Win in Rangoon

Jun 21 Rascals begin 1st tour in 20 years

Jun 23 Charlotte Hornets & Miami Heat begin their NBA expansion draft

Jun 23 Yanks manager Billy Martin's 5th term ends, Lou Pinella named manager

Jun 24 Cleve pitcher Doug Jones sets record of 14 consecutive saves

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Jun 24 Red Sox begin AL record 23rd consecutive home win streak

Jun 25 "Chess" closes at Imperial Theater NYC after 68 performances

Jun 25 104°F highest temperature ever recorded in Cleveland in June

Event of interest

Jun 25 Cal Ripken Jr plays in his 1,000th consecutive game

Jun 25 Expos Pitcher Floyd Youmans suspended for 60 days due to drugs

Jun 25 Iceland's President Vigdis Finnbogadóttir elected (90+%)

Jun 25 Kristen Logan, 17, of Mississippi, crowned America's Junior Miss

Jun 25 UEFA European Championship: Netherlands defeat Soviet Union 2-0 in Munich

Jun 25 Roger Rabbit Cartoon Character debuts in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

Jun 26 Kathy Postlewait wins LPGA McDonald's Golf Championship

Jun 27 Mike Tyson KOs Michael Spink in 91 seconds, in Atlantic City ($67m)

Jun 27 Reds bat out of order against Padres in 1st inning

Jun 28 Mike Tyson sues to break contract with manager Bill Cayton

Jun 29 Emmy 15th Daytime Award presentation - Susan Lucci loses for 9th time

Jun 30 "Sledge Hammer!" last aires on ABC-TV

Jun 30 Brooklyn dedicates a bus depot honoring Jackie Gleason

Jun 30 Chicago agrees to build a new stadium so White Sox won't move to Florida

Jun 30 French archbishop Marcel Lefebvre is excommunicated by the Roman Catholic

Church.

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1988's Top 20 charts

UK (US) Title Artist

1 With a little help from my friends/She's leaving home /Wet Wet Wet/Billy Bragg & Cara

Tivey

2 Got to be certain Kylie Minogue

3 Doctorin' the tardis Timelords

4 Somewhere in my heart Aztec Camera

5 Voyage voyage Desireless

6 Circle in the sand Belinda Carlisle

7 I owe you nothing Bros

8 My one temptation Mica Paris

9 Wild world Maxi Priest

10 Boys(Summertime love) Sabrina

11 Perfect Fairground Attraction

12 Check this out L.A.Mix

13 I saw him standing there Tiffany

14 Everyday is like Sunday Morrissey

15 The king of rock 'n roll Prefab Sprout

16 Chains of love Erasure

17 Tribute(Right on) Pasadenas

18 Give a little love Aswad

19 The twist(Yo,twist) Fat Boys/Chubby Checker

20 Love will save the day Whitney Houston

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

1988 Metal/Hard Rock Releases

Iron Maiden

Seventh Son of a Seventh Son (1988)

Metallica

...And Justice for All (1988)

Testament

The New Order (1988)

Cinderella

Long Cold Winter (1988)

Megadeth

So Far, So Good... So What! (1988)

Queensrÿche

Operation: Mind crime (1988)

Crimson Glory

Transcendence (1988)

Slayer

South of Heaven (1988)

Helloween

Keeper of the Seven Keys Part II (1988)

Suicidal Tendencies

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow When I Can't Even Smile Today

(1988)

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Living Colour

Vivid (1988)

David Lee Roth

Skyscraper (1988)

Jane's Addiction

Nothing's Shocking (1988)

Dare

Out of the Silence (1988)

L.A. Guns

L.A. Guns (1988)

Death

Leprosy (1988)

Running Wild

Port Royal (1988)

Survivor

Too Hot to Sleep (1988)

Alien

Alien (1988)

Stage Dolls

Stage Dolls (1988)

King Diamond

"Them" (1988)

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Manowar

Kings of Metal (1988)

Van Halen

OU812 (1988)

Anthrax

State of Euphoria (1988)

Overkill

Under the Influence (1988)

Bon Jovi

New Jersey (1988)

Europe

Out of This World (1988)

Ozzy Osborne

No Rest for the Wicked (1988)

House of Lords

House of Lords (1988)

Poison

Open Up and Say... Ahh! (1988)

Guns n' Roses

G N' R Lies (1988)

Riot

ThunderSteel (1988)

Magnum

Wings of Heaven (1988)

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Robert Plant

Now and Zen (1988)

Lillian Axe

Lillian Axe (1988)

Prophet

Cycle of the Moon (1988)

Blind Guardian

Battalions of Fear (1988)

Kix

Blow My Fuse (1988)

Scorpions

Savage Amusement (1988)

Sword

Sweet Dreams (1988)

Bathory

Blood Fire Death (1988)

Judas Priest

Ram It Down (1988)

Vio-Lence

Eternal Nightmare (1988)

Helstar

A Distant Thunder (1988)

Nuclear Assault

Survive (1988)

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Hurricane

Over the Edge (1988)

Brocas Helm

Black Death (1988)

Skagarack

Hungry for a Game (1988)

Danzig

Danzig (1988)

King's X

Out of the Silent Planet (1988)

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

AS I LAY DYING Tease First New Music

As I Lay Dying frontman Tim

Lambesis was released from

prison in early 2017.

Lambesis was sentenced to six years imprisonment in May 2014 on a felony charge of

solicitation of murder after attempting to hire a hitman to kill his then-wife. He served

about two and a half years and was released right at the end of 2016, and has since

remarried. We covered this story exhaustively in 2013 and 2014.

Lambesis has since published a lengthy apology regarding what he had done,

apologizing to his ex-wife, children and fans. "Words cannot begin to express how

deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused," the letter began.

A few months after it was revealed Lambesis was out of prison, he began teasing a

potential comeback for As I Lay Dying. More reports surfaced that he was indeed

working with an all-new lineup of musicians to forge a comeback, though the report did

not cite any specific names of who Lambesis was (or is) allegedly working with. These

have all been rumors and pretty much pure conjecture up until now.

As I Lay Dying has published 45 seconds of brand new music and what looks like the

tease to a music video on their Facebook page, as well as a mysterious profile picture,

potentially a teaser of the cover art. The video is very careful not to show anyone's face.

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New Releases From GHOST, KATAKLYSUM, and More Out Today - 6/1

This edition includes angry teens, death metal madness, the clergy, and more! To the

metals…

Alien Weaponry – Tū

Genre: Heavy metal/thrash

Origin: Waipu, New Zealand

Label: Napalm Records

The de Jong brothers are angry kids. This band's debut finds a nice medium ground

between thrash and groove meta and thrives there. Lyrically it can be a little cringe

worthy, but they're lyrics literally written by teenagers. So there's room to grow.

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Ghost – Prequelle

Genre: Heavy metal

Origin: Linköping, Sweden

Label: Loma Vista

One of modern metal's most divisive bands continues to divide, especially in the Metal

Injection offices (aka a group chat). Like all Ghost records, the melodies and riffs will

grab onto your brain and never let go. This might be the band's most derivative work as

it pulls from 70's rock more than ever, and for some that might not be the best thing. This

might be my favorite Ghost thing so far, but I'll need to let it sit for a bit.

Gruesome – Twisted Prayers

Genre: Death metal

Origin: Arroyo Grande, California/Miami, Florida

Label: Relapse

Twisted Prayers is death metal by numbers in the best way. Cover art with dead people

on it? Check. Lyrics mocking religion? Check. No bullshit death metal? Check.

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Kataklysm – Meditations

Genre: Melodic death metal

Origin: Montreal, Quebec

Label: Nuclear Blast

This has been a pretty good year for melodic death metal. Earlier this year At The Gates

dropped a new record, and now Kataklysm reared it's ugly head once again. All you

need now is some new Amon Amarth (and probably another band I'm failing to

remember), and melo-death fans will be happier than pigs in shit.

Nervosa – Downfall Of Mankind

Genre: Thrash/death metal

Origin: São Paulo, Brazil

Label: Napalm

Earlier I called Gruesome no bullshit death metal, well Nervosa are somehow even less

bullshit, but faster. This is chaotic, swift, thrashy death metal, and it's wonderful.

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

Witchskull

Genre: Stoner/heavy

Origin: Canberra,

Label: Rise Above

I'm ending this rather

riffs. Witchskull are

everything, driving

imagery. Frankly,

– Coven's Will

metal

Australia

eclectic week with

fuzz pedals on

rhythms, and spooky

they're an ideal band

Also dropping today…

Casket Feeder – Scalps (Hibernacula Records) – Hardcore/death metal

Convictions – Hope For The Broken (InVogue) – Metalcore

Human Cull – Revenant (WOOAAARGH) – Grindcore

The Konsortium – Rogaland (Agonia Records) – Thrash/black metal

Modern Maps – Hope You're Happy (Rise) – Rock

Powerflo – Bring That Shit Back! (N/A) – Rap metal

Slomatics/Conan – Split (Black Bow Records) – Stoner/doom

Worshipper – Mirage Daze EP (Tee Pee) – Heavy metal

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The Contemporary Man: The Magazine /June 2018

While Netflix remains far and away the most popular streaming subscription service out

there, it's fair to say that their selection of movies isn't quite what it once was. Netflix is

opting more and more to focus on their own original content, and while much of that

content is good, it doesn't do much for those looking to take in a great movie that Netflix

didn't produce.

Reduction in library size aside, Netflix still plays host to some truly great films, ranging all

the way from relatively recent superhero adventures to bonafide Oscar-winning classic

dramas. Here are the 25 best films on Netflix that you can watch right now.

Before the list proper, there are some notes to be made. First, Netflix offers a different

selection in every country it services, and this list focuses solely on films available to

U.S. subscribers. That said, those outside the U.S. are encouraged to still check their

country's line-up, as some of these picks may also be available to them. Secondly, these

25 films are available to stream as of this writing. If and when included titles are removed

from Netflix, this list will be updated with new selections.

25. Captain America: Civil War

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The second MCU film to be directed by Avengers: Infinity War helmers Joe and Anthony

Russo, Captain America: Civil War pits Iron Man's (Robert Downey Jr.) pro-government

oversight of superheroes side against Captain America's (Chris Evans) opposing side.

Holding an impressive 91% score on Rotten Tomatoes, Civil War is one of the most

beloved movies in the MCU lineage to date, and also served to introduce Spider-Man

(Tom Holland) and Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) into the mix prior to their

respective solo films.

24. The Departed

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A remake of the 2002 Hong King film Infernal Affairs, The Departed is probably best

known for being the film that finally won legendary director Martin Scorsese his first

Oscar for Best Director. The complex, arresting crime drama also picked up the Oscars

for Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay. Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon star

as a cop planted within the mob and a criminal planted within the police, respectively.

Jack Nicholson also commands the screen as brutal crime boss Frank Costello.

23. The Truman Show

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While it's now well-established that comedy icon Jim Carrey can also easily pull off good

dramatic acting when called upon to do so, the first film to really open the eyes of the

masses to Carrey's then-untapped ability was 1998's The Truman Show. Directed by

Peter Weir and rated 94% on RT, The Truman Show in many ways predicted the rise of

reality TV culture, featuring a titular lead character whose life had been unknowingly (to

him) broadcast to the masses as a form of entertainment.

22. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

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Modern blockbuster cinema arguably wouldn't even exist without the Star Wars

franchise, and the only entry in that saga that Netflix currently streams is director Gareth

Edwards' Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Despite a tumultuous production process, this

Felicity Jones-fronted prequel impressed many, earning an 85% rating on Rotten

Tomatoes, and proving that this new line of standalone Star Wars movies would be

worth watching.

21. Lethal Weapon

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Directed by 80s mainstay Richard Donner, 1987's Lethal Weapon still stands as one of

the quintessential examples of how to do a "buddy cop' action movie right (83% on RT).

Mel Gibson stars as Martin Riggs, a suicidal sergeant with a short fuse and nothing to

lose. Riggs gets partnered up with by the book lawman Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover),

leading to a slowly blossoming friendship, and one of film's most beloved duos. Lethal

Weapon would spawn three successful sequels, and a currently airing TV reboot on

FOX.

20. The Descent

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Directed by Neil Marshall, 2005's The Descent (85% on RT) is one of the most intense

horror experiences in recent memory, and is sure to leave viewers on the edge of their

seat. The Descent follows a group of female friends - including lead Sarah (Shauna

Macdonald) - who seek adventure by heading into an unmapped cave system, only to

fall prey to both horrifying subterranean monsters and their own rapidly crumbling

personal relationships.

19. Seven

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One of the most respected crime thrillers of the 90s, Seven has style to spare, and was

one of the films to first establish David Fincher as a director be reckoned with. Seven

stars Brad Pitt as brash young detective David Mills, who partners up with soon to retire

detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) in order to try and catch a serial killer

who bases his murders on the seven deadly sins. Holding an 80% score on Rotten

Tomatoes and hauling in over $300 million at the box office on a $33 million budget,

Seven was both a critical and commercial smash.

18. Dead Poets Society

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Director Peter Weir makes his second appearance on this list with 1989's Dead Poets

Society, a film likely to have inspired many people to become teachers. The late, great

Robin Williams stars as maverick instructor John Keating, the type of teacher most

people only ever wish they had. Some of Keating's students include future notables

Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard, and Josh Charles. An Oscar-winner for Best

Original Screenplay (written by Tom Schulman), Dead Poets Society holds an 86%

score on RT.

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17. Boogie Nights

The film that launched acclaimed director Paul Thomas Anderson to the Hollywood A-

list, Boogie Nights is set within the 1970s porn industry, and stars Mark Wahlberg as

lead character Dirk Diggler. Sporting a 93% score on RT, Boogie Nights also made

former rapper Wahlberg a major player in the acting world, and rejuvenated the flagging

career of Burt Reynolds. The absolutely star-studded cast also includes Heather

Graham, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Don Cheadle, John C. Reilly, William

H. Macy, Thomas Jane, and Alfred Molina.

16. Hellraiser

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Any dedicated horror fan has surely had their soul torn apart multiple times by

Hellraiser's Pinhead (Doug Bradley) by this point. Director Clive Barker (adapting his

own novella) crafted one of the most enduring tales of terror to come out of the 1980s,

spawning one of the longest-running horror franchises out there as well. Hellraiser may

only have a 68% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but it's a certified classic of the genre, and

needs to be watched by anyone who enjoys a good fright flick. Direct sequel Hellbound:

Hellraiser II is also part of Netflix's roster.

15. Scarface

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While aspects of Scarface are now undeniably dated, director Brian De Palma's tale of

the rise and fall of Cuban drug lord Tony Montana (Al Pacino) remains one of the most

iconic films of the 1980s. Scarface has gone on to influence pop culture in a myriad of

ways, especially when it comes to the hip hop music scene. Sporting an 82% score on

RT, Scarface is one of those movies that begs to be seen at least once by any

committed movie buff.

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14. Full Metal Jacket

From legendary director Stanley Kubrick, Full Metal Jacket is widely considered one of

the greatest war films of all time, and holds a 93% rating on RT. Perhaps best

remembered in pop culture for introducing drill sergeant turned actor R. Lee Ermey to

the world, Full Metal Jacket also features great performances by Matthew Modine and

Vincent D'Onofrio, long before their respective days as Netflix stars on Stranger Things

and Daredevil.

13. Ghostbusters

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Before the Ghostbusters name became associated with endlessly divisive reboots, there

was director Ivan Reitman's original 1984 hit. Starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold

Ramis, and Ernie Hudson as the titular team of paranormal investigators, Ghostbusters

is to many the defining comedy of the 80s. Including countless hilarious gags - as well as

some surprisingly creepy moments - Ghostbusters became a phenomenon. Sigourney

Weaver and Rick Moranis also star in the supernatural comedy, which holds a 97%

rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

12. Casino

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In 1995, director Martin Scorsese and two of his stars from Goodfellas would reunite for

another terrific mob drama. While not quite as beloved as its predecessor, Casino is still

held in high regard, holding an 80% score on RT. Once again based on true events,

Casino stars Robert De Niro as Sam "Ace' Rothstein, a gangster overseeing the titular

mob-run gaming establishment. Joe Pesci plays volatile enforcer Nicky Santoro, while

Sharon Stone earned a Golden Globe for playing Ginger McKenna, Ace's ex-prostitute

love interest.

11. The Sixth Sense

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While director M. Night Shyamalan's career hasn't quite lived up to what most expected,

his 1999 breakout hit (85% score on RT) The Sixth Sense made such a great first

impression that he's arguably been riding its wave ever since. Bruce Willis stars as Dr.

Malcolm Crowe, a psychiatrist trying to help troubled young boy Cole (Haley Joel

Osment), who is burdened with the ability to see and interact with ghosts. For those

wondering, no, the big twist won't be spoiled here, for the small subset of people who

aren't already aware of what it is.

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10. Sin City

Rendered mostly in black and white - with splashes of color - Sin City (77% on RT) is a

neo-noir crime thriller with style to burn. Co-directed by Robert Rodriguez and Frank

Miller - based on Miller's graphic novel of the same name - Sin City is an anthology of

hard-edged tales, and features a star-studded cast. Just some of the big names on hand

include Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Rosario Dawson, Jessica Alba, Clive Owen, and

Mickey Rourke.

9. The Conjuring

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One of the creepiest films in recent memory, director James Wan's The Conjuring

impressed both fans and critics, earning an 86% RT score and making lots and lots of

money. The Conjuring has since spawned its own mini-cinematic universe of sequels

and spinoffs, including about the possessed doll Annabelle. Patrick Wilson and Vera

Farmiga star as real life "demonologists' Ed and Lorraine Warren, while Lili Taylor and

Ron Livingston play the heads of the family beset by supernatural horrors.

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8. Moana

Featuring the voice talents of Auli'i Cravalho and Dwayne "The Rock' Johnson, Moana is

one of Disney's most acclaimed non-Pixar animated efforts of the current decade.

Focusing on the titular teenager's quest to restore the heart of the goddess Te Fiti to the

ocean, Moana was a massive hit, and holds a 95% rating on RT. Moana received two

Oscar nominations, one for Best Animated Feature, and another for Best Original Song.

7. Schindler's List

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An Oscar-darling - winning seven awards, including Best Picture and Best Director for

Steven Spielberg - Schindler's List (97% on Rotten Tomatoes) is widely considered one

of the greatest films of all time. However, it's also one of the hardest to watch, as the

subject matter is just so incredibly sad. Liam Neeson stars as Oskar Schindler, a

German businessman who effectively saved the lives of over a thousand Jews during

the Holocaust by employing them in his factories. Ben Kingsley and Ralph Fiennes also

star.

6. Inglourious Basterds

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Moving from one World War II era film to another, Inglourious Basterds is an alternate

history story revolving around two interconnected plots to kill Nazi leaders. Directed by

Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds stars Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine, leader of the

titular squad. The film also helped make stars of Christoph Waltz, Diane Kruger, and

Michael Fassbender. While a night and day different effort than Schindler's List,

Tarantino's Basterds (88% on RT) are still very much one of the best films on Netflix and

worthy subscribers' time.

5. Thor: Ragnarok (Available June 5)

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One of the most recent entries into Marvel Studios' MCU canon, director Taika Waititi's

Thor: Ragnarok represented a major shift in tone and style from the prior Thor films.

Thankfully, this new, sillier version of Thor went over well with the masses. Critics also

loved it, with the sequel sporting a 92% score on RT. Ragnarok sees Chris Hemsworth's

Asgardian hero set out to save his home from Hela (Cate Blanchett), aka the Goddess of

Death. Assisting him in this quest are Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo),

and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson).

4. It Follows

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This stylish throwback to the horror films of the 80s stars Maika Monroe as Jay, a young

woman who makes the mistake of hooking up with the wrong guy and becoming infected

by an STD of supernatural origin. Now, Jay finds herself relentlessly stalked by a

demonic being, one that can appear as anyone it wants, even those closest to her.

Directed by David Robert Mitchell, It Follows sits at a 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

3. Kill Bill

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While Vol.1 and Vol. 2 (85 and 84% on RT) of director Quentin Tarantino's revenge saga

were technically released as separate films, it's hard to imagine wanting to watch one Kill

Bill without the other. Uma Thurman stars as The Bride, who sets out on a bloody quest

for vengeance after being betrayed by the other members of her assassination squad

and their leader, Bill (David Carradine). Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Michael Madsen, and

Daryl Hannah also star.

2. The Godfather

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What's left to say about The Godfather (98% on RT), director Francis Ford Coppola's

opus about the fall of mafia don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) and rise of his son

Michael (Al Pacino) to the blood-stained throne. Almost universally considered one of

the greatest movies ever, The Godfather is a truly incredible film and one that it's almost

impossible to call oneself a movie buff without having seen. James Caan, Robert Duvall,

Diane Keaton, and John Cazale also star.

1. The Godfather Part II

So, why not combine this with its predecessor, like Kill Bill? The answer is that while this

is indeed a direct continuation of The Godfather's story, it is also in many ways its own

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beast. With Brando's Vito now gone, the journey of Michael as Corleone crime family

don is juxtaposed with the rise of a young Vito, expertly played by Robert De Niro. Rated

at 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, it's hard to choose between Godather and Godfather II for

the title of best mafia movie, and not just one of the best films on Netflix, but one of the

best films of all time. Ideally, one should just watch them both, and experience the whole

saga.

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The Predator: Interview With Director Shane Black

Not much is known about The Predator , but hearing writer/director Shane Black explain

his hopes for the film, it's hard not to get excited. Little is know even now, one year after

speaking with Black and the movie's cast from the film's set. The first teaser trailer for

The Predator aims to do little more than confirm that, even with the mind behind Kiss

Kiss Bang Bang, The Nice Guys, and Iron Man 3 behind the camera, this is still every bit

the Predator sequel fans would hope for .

Seeing the film in action made that abundantly clear, but fans can hear straight from

Shane Black his inspiration for returning to the Predator series, how he's flipping the

formula on its head, and why the movie's action heroes are a different breed altogether.

Can you talk about bringing back [writing partner] Fred Dekker? And why you wanted to

collaborate with him on this?

We'll, I've been working with Fred on a couple of different projects. We found that we

sort of complement each other very well, and that goes back ages. They say that no

matter how old you get, in your own mind you're never really capable of picturing more

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than twenty-five years old as your current age. You always feel yourself to be roughly

twenty-five. It's been thirty years in the business for Fred and myself, and you look in the

mirror and part of you just says,'Jeez, it would be nice to be a kid again and go back and

get that excitement back.'

I mean, there's a maturity that comes with liking adult themes and adult subject matter,

seeing Oscar-winning films... but every once in a while I'd say,'Boy, I'd just like to do a

Predator movie with Fred.' Something that recalls for us all those wonderful, exciting

days when we were geeks, lining up for Star Trek: Wrath of Khan when it played in

Westwood at The National.

So I think there was a great deal of nostalgia, and also a desire to do a kind of oldschool

thriller in the form of The Predator. Because... there's a lasting quality that the

original movie has that's due, I think in part, to the fact that it was made before it was so

easy to just do a bunch of CGI effects and before videogames had taken hold as well.

So there was a more visceral kind of war movie, thriller-esque quality to the material.

Because they weren't saying,'What if the camera wooshed around and the character fell

off a cliff and we followed him down and then when he hit we ran with him'... Who's the

cameraman? [laughs]

Fred and I just thought,'Let's make - obviously we've kept up on visual effects and

technology, and we're big fans - but let's try to do an old-school... heartfelt kind of war

movie surrounding this story. And all the elements were like, you know, spies, romance,

mystery... just stuff as much genre into one pack as we can. So you can literally unpack

different facets of the movie, which is sort of a stew that represents, to us, the genre

movie that we would've loved to see when we were coming up. When we were all young

and still felt twenty-five.

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Stan Lee Safe After Being Threatened By Gunmen

Legendary former Marvel Comics boss - and pop culture icon - Stan Lee was threatened

outside his Los Angeles home by two gunmen, but is now safe. Lee will forever be

revered by comics fans for co-creating such popular Marvel heroes as Spider-Man, Iron

Man, The Incredible Hulk, Black Panther, and Daredevil. To those who grew to love

Marvel via their films, Lee is well-known for his tendency to cameo in said projects,

including appearances in all 19 Marvel Cinematic Universe installments released so far.

Unfortunately, Lee's exalted status within pop culture hasn't prevented the man's life

from being extremely complex as of late. Not only did he lose his beloved wife Joan last

year, the 95-year-old Lee was also reported to be a victim of elder abuse, leading noted

comic fan Kevin Smith to offer Lee a place in his own home. Lee ended up publicly

refuting those abuse reports, as well as several unrelated accusations of sexual

misconduct levied against him. He also recently filed a mammoth $1 billion fraud lawsuit

against POW! Entertainment, a company he co-founded.

As if that wasn't enough for one man to handle, The Daily Mail now reports that on

Thursday night, Lee was accosted by two gunmen outside his Los Angeles home. Police

were called around 7:30pm, due to reports that an armed man had been threatening

Lee. Two men were detained by officers at the scene, although it's unclear if the

suspects remain in custody. According to a witness who spoke to The Daily Mail, one of

the men had confronted Lee about money supposedly owed to him. The witness also

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says that the two men tossed their guns away prior to the arrival of the police, but that

officers retrieved the weapons. The cause of the incident is still being investigated.

Stan Lee's Hollywood home has in some ways been the epicenter of his turbulent 2018,

even before this scary incident. In April, police were called after an intruder jumped a

fence and attempted to break in. In February, police arrived at Lee's home to investigate

one of the aforementioned claims of elder abuse against the legend. Some of Lee's

sexual harassment accusers also claim he perpetrated the alleged acts at home, while

being attended to by young female nurses.

While it's obviously a relief to know that Stan Lee is fine after being threatened by

gunmen, one wonders when his life will finally calm down a bit. This kind of stress isn't

great for anyone, much less a 95-year-old man. In a small victory, it at least looks like

Lee finally gained full control over his Twitter account recently, despite maintaining that

his verified Facebook account remains outside his reach.

There's One Big Secret in God of War That No One Has Found

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The latest God of War is packed with secrets and references to past titles and other

pieces of media. However, director Cory Barlog says that fans haven't found all of the

secrets that the game holds. It's not just a small thing either, as he talked about it being

a relatively major Easter Egg.

One of the most notable secrets that players have discovered was the fact that players

could craft what is essentially Thanos' Infinity Gauntlet for Kratos. It's a complicated

ordeal, which requires doing multiple side-quests and collecting special items that are

dropped by dragons, but it all ends with the player receiving one of the coolest skills in

the entire game. If something that complex has already been discovered, it begs the

question of how complex it must be to reveal and unlock the currently undiscovered one.

"I still think there is one thing that no one has found yet that I know for certain,' Barlog

told GamingBolt. He compared being able to keep a secret from fans this long to Metal

Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain's nuke disarmament ending, although he said it wasn't

quite as meta as Hideo Kojima's hidden ending."I haven't seen any stories about it. Now

I'm not going to tell you what that is, but I don't know if there's any cinematics per se, it

seems like people have been able to get all the permutations. Not one person, but

everyone collectively."

This quote from Barlog will surely get God of War fans excited to jump back into the

third-person action game. His cryptic teases will serve as a way to spark the flame within

the community. Whether or not fans will be able to crack the code on the game's final

secret remains to be seen, but there's no denying that they will try their best to do so.

The already found secrets of God of War have really shown how much care and craft

went into every design aspect of the PlayStation 4 exclusive. It clearly was a passion

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project for Sony Santa Monica and director Cory Barlog has been vocal about how much

the game means to him from a personal standpoint. All of the hidden references have

made the latest entry in the series a celebration of its past.

Note: The Next God Of War Game Won't Take Another 5 Years To Develop

Yes, Fortnite is Definitely Coming to Nintendo Switch:

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The battle royale shooter has become incredibly popular over the past year thanks to it

hitting consoles before other popular titles in the genre. In fact, it's become so popular

that it managed to surpass its main competitor PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds (who

they're currently in a legal situation with ), in terms of popularity and money earned. It's

currently the most-played multiplayer game, and has already become so ingrained within

pop culture that A$AP Rocky referenced the game in his new album, Testing. It's

currently available on all other major gaming platforms and mobile, so bringing it to

Nintendo Switch would be the final piece of the puzzle in terms of getting the free-to-play

shooter everywhere.

There's not much other information to be gleaned from the rating (translated via

Newsweek ) besides the fact that the rumor is real. However, it does have some

important ramifications as it also adds veracity to the other game titles that were listed in

yesterday's leak.

That means that the ports of Bandai Namco's Dragon Ball FighterZ, arcade hit Killer

Queen, Ubisoft Toronto's action-adventure game Starlink: Battle for Atlas, FIFA 19, freeto-play

shooter Paladins, and the unannounced party cooking game Overcooked! 2 are

all likely real as well.These are all exciting announcements for Nintendo Switch gamers.

Those that only own a Switch have been unable to play Fortnite, but can't escape

hearing about the game due to how popular it is. Now, they'll finally be able to go handson

with the free-to-play title and see what all the fuss is about for themselves.

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Obviously this leak isn't how Nintendo and Epic Games wanted the announcement to be

revealed, but it probably wasn't one of the biggest surprises planned for the Nintendo

Direct anyhow. Nintendo's own first-party titles are always the star of their E3 showings,

and this year won't be any different. Expect to see plenty of updates on the company's

iconic franchises in less than two weeks.

Godzilla vs. Kong Casts Deadpool 2 Actor Julian Dennison:

Julian Dennison be joined by Millie Bobby Brown, Kyle Chandler, and possibly other

Godzilla: King of the Monsters stars. The outlet also reports that Legendary Pictures has

put out an offer to two-time Oscar-winner Frances McDormand to join the cast. This is

not a terribly huge stretch as McDormand's resume does include some big-budget studio

fare, including the role of Mearing in Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

He may not have the vast experience or the trophies that Frances McDormand

possesses, but Julian Dennison nonetheless has made a big impression in his brief

career. Before Deadpool 2, Dennison gave a memorable performance as Ricky in Taika

Waititi's quirky movie Hunt for the Wilderpeople. There's no question, though, that his

appearance as Russell/Firefist in Deadpool 2 is the thing most people will know him for.

The comic book film starring Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, and Zazie Beetz opened to a

whopping $125 million in its first weekend and has gone on to gross over $230 million

domestically and $530 million worldwide (so far).

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Now that the casting process appears to be underway, audiences should find out more

about Godzilla vs. Kong in the near future, perhaps around Comic-Con International next

month, especially since the movie is expected to start filming this October .

Rumor: Birds Of Prey Movie Will Also Include Black Canary

There are rumors that DC's Birds of Prey movie will actually include a big-screen

adaptation of Black Canary. Although the character is strongly associated with the Birds

of Prey brand, up until now, there hasn't been any actual news or rumors alluding to her

involvement.

Featuring Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, Birds of Prey will reportedly start filming in

early 2019. That means this film should be the next DC movie to hit theaters after the

release of Patty Jenkins' Wonder Woman 2 , and it's an approach that makes sense.

Although Suicide Squad proved rather divisive, Robbie's performance as Harley Quinn

was universally praised, and Warner Bros. is keen on seeing Robbie return to the

DCEU. Right now, little is known about the film, although there are a score of rumors -

including that the main villain is the Penguin .

According to Omega Underground , Black Canary will appear in Birds of Prey. However,

it's worth taking the news with a grain of salt as her involvement hasn't been confirmed.

And since there haven't been any character breakdowns or casting calls yet, a lot could

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change for Birds of Prey between now and when production gets underway. It would be

something of a surprise to see Black Canary switch gears from Gotham City Sirens to

Birds of Prey, implying that the primary leads in this movie will still be superheroes.

Given reports in January that Gotham City Sirens has been pulled , it's possible the two

concepts have been merged to an extent.

Although the DCEU was technically born with 2013's Man of Steel, it didn't actually get

underway until Zack Snyder's Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice released in 2016,

which proved to be even more divisive than his Superman origin story. Unfortunately, not

much changed when Suicide Squad released, which was a victim of choppy editing and

a poor villain. The first real success in the DCEU was 2017's Wonder Woman . That film

delighted viewers and critics alike, and the studio is no doubt hoping there'll be more

successes down the road. With a mostly-female cast - and reportedly a potential allfemale

crew as well - Birds of Prey could be another hit, should Warner Bros.

commission a decent script.

Pet Sematary Remake Casts Alien: Covenant's Amy Seimetz

Paramount Pictures' Pet Sematary remake has found its female lead in Amy Seimetz,

who recently had a small role in last year's Alien: Covenant film. Based on Stephen

King's 1983 novel, Pet Sematary chronicles the bizarre and morbid experiences of the

Creed family. After moving next to a burial ground, they soon uncover a deeper narrative

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as their domestic bliss transforms into a real life nightmare.

In 1989, Mary Lambert directed the first adaptation of the novel, which polarized viewers

and critics by drifting from the source material, and for its over-the-top visual aesthetic.

With film directors now taking a more psychological approach with King adaptations -

evidenced by the 2017 films It , Gerald's Game and 1922 - moviegoers often expect

more of a cerebral viewing experience rather than traditional jump scares that carried so

many horror productions of the past, and that's what directors Kevin Kolsch and Dennis

Widmyer are trying to accomplish with their Pet Sematary reboot.

Deadline reports that Paramount Pictures has hired Amy Seimetz to co-star in Pet

Sematary opposite Jason Clarke and veteran actor John Lithgow. Before landing a role

in Alien: Covenant, Seimetz appeared in acclaimed indie thrillers like Adam Wingard's

You're Next (2011), Shane Carruth's Upstream Color (2013), and Ti West's The

Sacrament (2013). She also wrote, directed, edited, and produced the critically

acclaimed 2012 film Sun Don't Shine. In recent years, Seimetz has directed episodes of

Atlanta, The Girlfriend Experience, Halt and Catch Fire, and Stranger Things .

Last month, Pet Sematary screenwriter Jeff Buhler said the remake will stay close to the

original story , with the directors seeking to make the “scariest” King adaptation yet. With

that said, it's worth noting that Seimetz and company will be working off a script that's

co-written by David Kajganich, the screenwriter for Luca Guadagnino's remake of Dario

Argento's Suspiria . Given the response to that film's first images, it seems that Pet

Sematary will likely have a substantial amount of visceral horror to it, as opposed to fluffy

dialogue and cheap scare tactics.

Pet Sematary's release date was recently moved up by two weeks and it will now open

opposite David F. Sandberg's Shazam! on April 5, 2019. With the Seimetz casting, Pet

Sematary now has a solid foundation. Lithgow represents a familiar face, Clarke is

arguably on the verge of becoming an A-list star (if he's not already), and Seimetz will

likely function as the grounding force that brings everything together. Considering all the

different pieces - the cast, crew, and subject matter - it seems the studio may have their

own hit Stephen King movie on their hands.

The Scariest Vaults in Bethesda's Fallout Series

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Bethesda gave fans of Fallout a surprise with the reveal of Fallout 76. The game is going

to be a move in a different direction for the post-apocalyptic RPG series, with the title

reportedly set to step away from single player and instead focus on online multiplayer

gameplay. Rather than an action RPG, Fallout 76 is also going to be a survival game

akin to DayZ or Rust.

Something that has already been the subject of much discussion is the setting of Fallout

76 . The game looks as though it revolves around Vault 76, one of the as-yet-unexplored

vaults that humanity used to survive the franchise lore's nuclear war. Vault 76 was set to

open its doors twenty years after the war ended, and allow its population to then take

back the overworld.

This may sound like a struggle, but it's nothing in comparison to some of the other vaults

that Vault-Tec built. Vault 76 stood as a control vault, but others were not so lucky,

instead forcing their inhabitants to take part in terrifying experiments as a test of how

humans would react to different pressures. With that in mind, here's a rundown of the ten

scariest vaults from the Fallout series.

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First appearing in Fallout 3, Vault 92 might not have been the easiest vault for the player

to come across. Lying just clear of the deathclaw-infested Old Olney, even reaching the

vault was something of a challenge. Those after a feel-good story to find inside, though,

were left extremely disappointed.

Vault 92 was billed to its inhabitants as a place to preserve the best musical talent of the

world, and reportedly only the most talented musicians were invited to enter the vault.

However, its real purpose was very different, and instead acted as a testing ground for

white noise generators in an attempt to create super soldiers. Unsurprisingly, it didn't

entirely go to plan, and according to logs half the population of the vault erupted into

uncontrollable rage.

By the time the Lone Wanderer reaches Vault 92, the vault is no longer inhabited by any

humans, with instead bloatflies and mirelurks taking up residency. It's unknown whether

any of the non-affected humans from Vault 92 survived, but it's clear that the white noise

experiments were more powerful than anyone could have predicted.

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Vault 111

Vault 111 will be familiar to anyone who has played Fallout 4 , acting as the player

character's own vault. However, although it acts as a jumping off point for the game, this

doesn't take away from the horror of the situation. Although it was billed as a vault to

simply survive a nuclear war, instead Vault-Tec had a much more sinister goal in mind.

This vault's experiment was aimed at studying the long-term effects of cryogenic

freezing, and its poor test subjects were duped into entering the freezing pods upon

entering the vault. The experiment was supposed to run on the relatively short term in

comparison to some of the other vaults, with a team of security and scientists monitoring

the test subjects. However, things didn't exactly go according to plan.

Instead, the player character of Fallout 4 wakes a long time after the war, into a world

they know longer recognise. Vault 111 may not be the most awful of the events that

have happened in Fallout, but it's a prime example of Vault-Tec's folly.

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AI ethics council in Singapore will give smart advice

The Singapore government

recognises the power of AI --

it's good enough to defeat us

at a game of Go -- and it also

knows the technology has to

be used responsibly.

STR/AFP/Getty Images

Singapore is taking the lead

on one of the topics

companies like Facebook

and Google are grappling with: using artificial intelligence and data responsibly.

A new council is being set up to advise the city-state's government on the ethical and

legal use of AI and data, Singapore's Minister for Communications and Information S

Iswaran announced at the opening of Innovfest Unbound Tuesday.

Established to drive awareness and a better understanding of the benefits and

challenges of AI, the council will advise the government on how it can develop and

deploy AI responsibly.

In particular, it will help develop ethics standards and reference governance frameworks,

issue advisory guidelines, practical guidance and codes of practice for voluntary

adoption by businesses, according to Iswaran.

The council will help build "a trusted ecosystem" that assures consumer confidence as

Singapore continues to develop itself as an AI hub and new business models emerge,

the Infocomm Media Development Authority said, calling it a "timely" move.

A five-year research program helmed by the Singapore Management University will also

be established to support the work of the council. This program will drive discussion

surrounding "ethical, legal, policy and governance issues" stemming from AI and data

use.

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"We must leverage frontier technologies such as AI," said Iswaran. "It is a journey that

private enterprises and consumers must walk together with the government, and we

must… be plugged into the global flow of ideas, talents and opportunities."

It comes at a time when giants like Facebook are ramping up efforts to keep its AI

systems from ethical lapses. Google is using artificial intelligence with Duplex, its digital

assistant that can call a local business to make appointments on your behalf, but this

has also raised ethical concerns

The partnership could bring more eyes to the sky.

The Phantom 4 Pro, one of

the drones currently

available for law

enforcement.

DJI

Taser-maker Axon and

drone manufacturer DJI

have partnered to sell

surveillance drones to US

law enforcement agencies.

The Axon Air partnership, which Axon promoted in a press release on Tuesday, is

designed to protect the chain-of-custody of evidence collected by drones. The program

does this by linking the DJI drones to Axon's Evidence.com network, a data

management system that preserves data from body cameras and in-car cameras.

More than 200,000 public safety professionals use Evidence.com, according to Axon.

Axon also makes Tasers and body cameras used by police departments around the

country.

More and more police departments are adopting drones, creating tension between public

safety and privacy concerns.

"DJI has always been very clear that we do not access any of the photos or videos that

our customers produce," DJI spokesman Adam Lisberg said in response to the

concerns. "Our customers have full control of their data."

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Drones currently available for sale through the Axon Air program are Phantom 4 Pro,

Inspire 1, and Matrice 210.

teases 28-hour laptop battery life. Here's what you need to know

More battery life. We all want it, but batteries aren't improving, at least not quickly

enough. So companies have to find battery savings elsewhere. But when it comes to

laptops, chipmaker Intel may have just found a veritable jackpot. According to the

company, Intel's new Low Power Display Technology will let a standard lightweight

laptop run up to 28 hours on a charge.

What's the secret? The screen. Intel says it's using a special LCD panel from Sharp and

Innolux that consumes just 1 watt of power. That's half as much as a similar laptop

screen would use before.

Intel says a standard Dell XPS 13 with the screen installed lasted 25 hours and 14

minutes, while a prototype Intel device managed the full 28 hours. More generally, the

company's forecasting 4 to 8 hours of local video file playback for systems that adopt the

technology.

Mind you, when Intel says "28 hours," you should know we're probably not talking about

heavy use. The company also claims the existing Dell XPS 13 already manages 20

hours on a charge, but we only saw 12 hours of streaming video playback in our review.

That gives you some perspective.

Intel also says its 28-hour run was with the screen set to 150 nits of brightness (dimmer

than you might be used to) and using headphones instead of speakers.

And if you want to take advantage of improved battery life, you probably won't be able to

simply install a new Sharp or Innolux screen in your existing PC. It requires Intel's power

management solution, plus The Verge reports that it only works with Intel's integrated

graphics, not the Nvidia or AMD solutions you might want for gaming.

But when it comes to battery life, I'll take what I can get.

The Chinese telecommunications giant has been in the US government's

crosshairs for security concerns.

Facebook gave Chinese telecommunications giant Huawei special access to data about

the social media giant's users, the New York Times reported Tuesday.

The agreement between Facebook and Huawei, which dates back to at least 2010, gave

special data access to Huawei, a company perennially in the crosshairs of the US

government, the Times reported, citing sources inside the social media giant. Facebook

also has similar arrangements with Lenovo, Oppo and TCL, but plans to wind down the

Huawei deal by the end of the week, a Facebook representative said, confirming the

Times' report.

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The arrangements came out of efforts to integrate the Facebook experience with mobile

devices, something a Facebook representative called a "standard industry practice."

"Facebook's integrations with Huawei, Lenovo, OPPO and TCL were controlled from the

get go -- and we approved the Facebook experiences these companies built," Francisco

Varela, vice president of Facebook mobile partnerships, said in a statement. "Given the

interest from Congress, we wanted to make clear that all the information from these

integrations with Huawei was stored on the device, not on Huawei's servers."

Facebook's arrangement with Huawei appears to be one of many the Times reported

Sunday that the social media giant has in place to provide access to large amounts of

user data to at least 60 different device makers -- including Amazon, Microsoft,

Samsung and BlackBerry.

Huawei is the world's third-largest smartphone maker by volume, but it has struggled to

make a dent in the US, partly because of concerns expressed by the government,

including the FBI, CIA, NSA, the Federal Communications Commission and House

Intelligence Committee.

In February, FBI Director Chris Wray told the Senate Intelligence Committee the FBI was

"deeply concerned" about the risks posed by Huawei and ZTE, a Chinese device maker

on which the Commerce Department imposed a "denial of export privileges" in April.

Facebook has been under scrutiny since the revelation in March that consultancy

Cambridge Analytica had misused Facebook user data in the lead up to the 2016 US

presidential election. Since then, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has testified in front

of Congress and the European Parliament to answer questions about Facebook's

handling of user data.

In a test, a New York Times reporter logged into Facebook using a 2013 BlackBerry

device, using an account with roughly 550 friends, monitoring the data requested and

received. Through a BlackBerry app called The Hub, the device was able to acquire

"identifying information" for up to 295,000 Facebook users.

Sen. Mark Warner, the top Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee, pointed out

that concerns about Huawei were not new, citing a 2012 congressional report on the

"close relationships between the Chinese Communist Party and equipment makers like

Huawei."

"The news that Facebook provided privileged access to Facebook's API to Chinese

device makers like Huawei and TCL raises legitimate concerns, and I look forward to

learning more about how Facebook ensured that information about their users was not

sent to Chinese servers," Warner said in a statement.

Facebook and Huawei representatives didn't immediately respond to requests for

comment.

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Food&Diet

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The true about low Carb Beers

You’ve had a long week. You’re finally at the bar with the guys on a Saturday catching

up over a few beers, and the last thing you want to do is overthink you’re order. Here’s

the problem with that: The low-carb craze is everywhere, including your local bar taps.

Not only are diets taunting the fad, like Paleo and Atkins, increasing in popularity, but

now supermarket aisles are loaded with low-carb options from breads to frozen dinners.

With good reason, too. Reducing carbohydrate intake alone can help individuals reduce

fat build up in the liver by up to 42 percent, according to one study published in the

American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

By definition, a low-carb diet ranges from 60 to 130 grams of high-quality carbohydrates

(think high in fiber produce and whole grains) daily, according to the Mayo Clinic. In

comparison, the recommended intake is between 225 and 325 grams of carbohydrates,

according to the USDA's dietary guidelines.

“Low-carb beers have fewer calories and carbs but can still taste great,” says Azania

Andrews, Vice President, Michelob ULTRA. “Whether someone is physically active on a

regular basis, just beginning to get back themselves back in shape, or simply looking for

a beer that keeps them a little lighter on their feet, a low-carb beer is almost always a

solid go-to pick.”

By contrast, regular beers contain 145 calories and 11 grams of carbs per 12-ounce

serving on average, but these numbers can vary. For example, Heineken has 142

calories and 11 grams of carbs, Budweiser has 145 calories and 10.6 grams of carbs,

and Corona Extra has 148 calories and 14 grams of carbs.

The question remains: is going low carb really worth putting down your Bud

Heavy?

What's the Difference Between a Low-Carb Beer and a Regular Brew?

Low-carb beers hold the promise of fewer calories, less carbs and, supposedly, no

undesirable beer gut. Most regular beers average out at 145 calories and 11 grams of

carbs per 12-ounce serving. For example, Budweiser has 145 calories and 10.6 grams

of carbs, Miller High Life has 143 calories and 13.1g of carbs, and Blue Moon has 171

calories and 13.7g of carbs. Low carb beers, on the other hand, sit around (or under!)

the 100-calorie, 2 grams of carbs mark for a 12-ounce serving. Whereas Budweiser

Select, their flagship low-carb option, has 55 calories and 1.9g carbs, Michelob Ultra has

95 calories and 2.6g carbs.

What Brands Should I Drink?

You're going to want to look for anything with "light" or "select" on the label. Take a look

at a few of the best options.

Keystone Light tops our list of beers in calories with 104 per serving and 5 grams of

carbs. Budweiser Select and Busch Light give you the highest alcohol content (not by

much) but that Budweiser Select is only 55 calories.

Is It Worth the Switch?

Depends what you're drinking it for, says Anne Becerra, Beer Curator and Director of

Treadwell Park. Plain and simple: Beer has carbs, and if that's your one and only criteria

for how you choose what to consume, then you should probably pick another beverage if

you want to enjoy your sip.

"If you're choosing to drink beer because of the amazing flavors and styles that are

available, the key (as with anything) is balance," says Becerra. "A full flavored, complex

craft beer offers an experience — something that's enjoyable and satisfying. When you

really pay attention to what you're drinking and savor each sip, generally you won't need

as much to feel fulfilled."

Ask yourself: How long am I going to be drinking for, and what's my mission here? If it's

Game Day and you know you'll be sipping for hours, low-carb options will be better for

your waistline. “Beer is something that’s meant to be enjoyed, and while it’s great to cut

down on calories and carbs, ultimately you want your beer to be refreshing and taste

great,” says Andrews.

Since low-carb and light beers aren't offering the World Series of flavor, do yourself a

favor and switch out for seltzer water every few. You'll still get the satisfaction of a

carbonated-sip, without the calories. However, Becerra wants you to try and reevaluate

that marathon, beer slamming mentality.

"Slamming multiple 'low-carb' beers with little flavor may not bring you the same amount

of enjoyment contribute that you'll get from drinking one or two beers you genuinely

love," she cautions. "Instead, use a nice glass, notice the aromas, pay attention to flavor,

pick beers you love and enjoy them."

If you do plan on drinking for an extended period of time, think about switching away

from beer altogether, suggests Manuel Villacorta, MS, RD and founder of Whole Body

Reboot. "Wine is lower in carbs than beer," he says. "Spirits such as whiskey and vodka

contain zero carbs, but be careful for sweet drinks.

He also cautions about what alcohol in general does to the body. "When you're drinking

alcohol from any source, whether that be beer, wine, whisky, or vodka, your body

(specifically, your liver) halts fat metabolism because it's busy metabolizing the alcohol,"

he says.

More Flavor, Please

There are certain steps you can take to enhance the flavor of low-carb beers. First, buy

dark bottles or cans rather than green or clear bottles, and store them away from

sunlight in order to prevent skunking.

Serve it very cold, straight from the fridge, and don't drink it from the bottle or can. Pour

the beer into a glass and let the foam settle for the best results; if possible, serve it in

frosted mugs.

Finally, you can try squeezing some fresh lime into your glass to enhance the taste.

The Dad Bod Nutrition Plan

One of the big misconceptions about making a beer belly disappear is that you have to

eat less food. In my experience, that’s not quite true, not if the last two weeks are

anything to go by.

I’m attempting to give my body a much-needed makeover before I become a father next

month. That means training four times a week. It means giving up alcohol. Inevitably, it

also means significant changes to my diet. But while I’m eating slightly fewer calories

than I was, I’d never describe it as less food.

Take a sample day in my gut last week: protein pancakes and fruit for breakfast, baked

fish and veg at lunch, a boiled egg for a mid-afternoon snack, a steak salad for tea and

massaman curry for dinner.

Whichever way you serve it, there’s nothing “less” about that.

Rule #1: Eat A Lot

That day (and most days) I ate 2,450 calories, all delicious and carefully plotted to help

me hit my target. “We work out your basal metabolic rate [the calories you burn day by

day], then work out exactly what you need to achieve your goal,” explains Georgia

Bellas, a nutritionist with Fresh Fitness Foods.

That’s the food delivery company I’ve tasked with taking out my beer belly. They’re a bit

like Deliveroo, except they cook all of their own food and none of it is junk. You give

them your vital statistics and explain your goals, and they do all the nutritional arithmetic

and design a diet that will get you there. Then they deliver it to you, every day.

For me, the goal is to get rid of my dad bod. I’m what some people call a skinny fat man:

lean and lanky everywhere except the midriff, which juts out like a sad, overhanging

clifftop. I don’t want to lose weight, necessarily, just the fat that’s begun to spill over the

top of my jeans. Fortunately, Georgia has a plan.

Rule #2: Eat Right

“It’s about altering your body composition – decreasing your fat and maintaining your

lean muscle,” she tells me. “We place you on ‘maintenance calories’ – it’s a slight, 10%

calorie deficit – and ensures you’re still getting enough calories to fuel your workouts and

to make sure your body doesn’t burn muscle.”

A cornerstone of the FFF approach is knowing your macros – i.e. designing meals with a

carefully balanced mix of protein, carbs and fat to match your stated goals. My daily

calories are now 40% protein, 30% carbohydrates and 30% fat. (Find out more about

macrotracking here).

The inclusion of some carbs is a relief. I’d envisioned plate after plate of chicken and

broccoli, but it doesn’t have to be that boring. I’ve had rice, sweet potato chips, even

some protein waffles for breakfast. “The carbohydrate component, which is 30% of your

total daily calories is important because when you work out, the primary source of fuel

you use is carbohydrate. Once you burn those stores you then switch to your fat

The meat keeps changing, too. As well as staples like steak or chicken breast, I’m eating

more fish, turkey burgers or slow-cooked beef brisket – again, not something I ever

expected on a diet.

To be clear, my gut hasn’t vanished yet, but it seems like it’s on the retreat. I’ve lost a

little more than a kilo in two-and-a-half weeks. My belly is still visible, still squishy, but

not arrogantly protruding like it was. I feel less bloated, too.

It’s my behaviour that I’m most interested in, though. I don’t feel like my willpower has

been tested yet. I’m not missing anything. I’m not cheating. My 3pm sugar cravings – a

stubborn thorn in the side of my ambitions to become a Calvin Klein underwear model –

are curiously absent.

Rule #3: Eat Often

I’m putting it down to the fact that I’m eating four big meals a day, which is probably the

biggest change I’ve noticed. There’s food coming every few hours, so the urge for inbetweener

snacks like crisps or rogue slices of toast just isn’t there any more. My wife is

dutifully working through the leftover Christmas chocolates on her own (she’s coping, I

think).

Before starting this, I made the same mistakes as everyone else. Instead of four meals a

day, I’d eat two-and-a-half: a quick breakfast, a slightly bigger lunch, a much bigger

dinner with snacks (the bad kind) between meals. So it’s no wonder I have a pot, really.

Small, hastily-munched breakfasts mean you start slow and your metabolism barely gets

going. Worse, saving the majority of your daily calories for your evening meal has two

major consequences: 1) you’re hungry in the day when a siren packet of Jaffa Cakes

might give you the eye, and 2) you go to bed with a belly full of pasta or potato, high-GI

carbs that your body will likely turn to blubber overnight. Then you wake up and do it all

over again.

Now, I eat once before 7.30am, again at noon, back for more at 4, with the final meal

passing my lips around 8pm. All four meals are roughly the same size, with similar

calories counts (between 450-600cals for me).

“Eating more frequently and limiting the time between meals will ensure that you’re not

getting hungry and have that urge to overeat at your next meal,” Georgia says. “It

maintains steady blood sugar levels, which is important as well.”

I’d be lying if I said the new regime is not without its sacrifices. I haven’t had any alcohol,

bread, sweets or milk since I started. Last week, I threw out a block of cheese that was

going mouldy in the fridge – it felt like throwing a puppy off a bridge.

I don’t miss any of it, though. I’m enjoying my food and I feel both full and energetic. The

big test, of course, will come when the baby arrives. Will I be as disciplined when I’ve

had no sleep? We’ll see, but I’ve tried to design the Dad Bod Project with convenience in

mind.

A lot of my workouts involve bodyweight moves that I can do at home. When I’m not

training at home, my gym is very close to the office. And Fresh Fitness Food’s offering is

stupendously attractive because it saves you the triple-threat hassle of working out what

to eat, where to buy it and how to cook it.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt so far about getting into shape it’s this no-brainer: the

easier you make it, the harder it is to fail.

Week 0: Why Do Expectant Fathers Put On Weight?

Week 1: The Olympics Champion's Dad Bod Workout Plan

11 Struggles Only People Who Have Given Up Carbs Will Understand:

If you're looking to lose weight and burn fat, you might entertain the prospect of giving up

carbs. Some choose to go without carbs completely to try and get into a state of ketosis

– when your body switches to burning fat for energy as a result of a low calorie intake –

and others will stick to a low-carb, high-fat, high-protein diet to promote fat loss. Either

way, your carb-gorging days are over.

And whilst the debate about whether carbs are good for you or not rages on, there's one

thing we can all agree on: Giving up carbs sucks. All of a sudden, your world is turned

upside down. You can't eat the stuff you love any more. No bread, no chips, NO PIZZA.

And going without your Mighty Meaty order on a Saturday night in isn't the only struggle

– there are many more, like the mood swings, the culinary boredom, the mental poops.

Yes, these are the 11 struggles only people who give up carbs will understand. How

many do you recognize?

You have to break up with pizza

It's the obvious one, but also the most painful one. Any break-up is bad but this,

this

It's the obvious one, but also the most painful one. Any break-up is bad but this, this

stings. And it's not only pizza you have to say cheerio to – it's all the others too; pasta,

potatoes, mid-afternoon digestives. The perfect carb orgy, gone, just like that. The worst

part? You're going to run into your ex EVERYWHERE. You may even witness one of

your good pals engaging in oral activity with them. Just remember to resist temptation,

don't go back there. No matter how irresistible they come, be the bigger man.

You feel like you've just gotten over the flu

You feel weak. A shadow. A man unable to sleep at night (yes, hunger pangs can keep

you up at night). But only for the first three or four days, mind, until your body adapts.

But those three or four days are horrible. You're hungry ALL THE TIME, only this time,

the phrase 'feed a cold' is no longer an acceptable reason for demolishing a large

Wasabi katsu curry and sticky rice.

You only have a choice of three drinks

Black coffee, green tea or water. Man, better hope you can get used to those.

The sheer volume of broccoli it takes to feel full is A LOT

When the broccoli is on special offer at the supermarket it brings a brief smile to your

face, but when you catch yourself putting five bunches into your trolley that smile is very

quickly wiped off. Why do you do it? You can rely on broccoli. It's nutritionally amazing.

It's easy to cook. And it's the most value for money green vegetable you can buy.

Broccoli won't let you down. But you'll fry it, steam it, bake it, boil it and eat it raw, and

realise that sadly, as with anything you eat over and over again, it tastes bland

whichever way you cook it.

Office cake is out to get you

You're doing so well. You've successfully avoided coming face-to-face with a single carb

for a whole week and then someone announces it's their birthday and five cakes appear

in the kitchen. Damn it. No, Dave, I don't want some of your birthday cake. Yes, I feel

like a right tw*t for turning you down but that Victoria sponge would sit much better in

your belly fat not mine. It's even worse when it's your own birthday because not only do

you then have to cut (sometimes even buy) your own cake, but then you have to

embarrassingly shuffle away as everyone waits for you to have the first slice. Great.

WTF poops

It's not pretty and it's certainly not funny – spending half the morning on the office throne

– but it's a distinct possibility on a low-carb diet. You've drastically lowered your intake of

stodgy carbs and it's wreaked absolute mayhem on your digestive system. It's supposed

to be a relaxing break from your desk, but now your mid-morning poo has become a

rather, er, painful task.

You instantly hate anyone else eating carbs

The moment you switch to the 'light' side, you instantly feel hatred build inside of you

whenever you see someone else shovelling a slice of pizza down their throat. This

person could even be your mate – a mate you like very much – but an uncontrollable

urge to smack that pizza right out of their hands seems to well up. And you hate this side

to you too, as well as the way you suddenly feel the need to educate everyone else on

how their carb consumption habits are unhealthy and that they should join you on your

joyless quest.

Seemingly dull carbs suddenly look heavenly

Baked potatoes. When do you EVER crave one? Never. But now you do. Now even the

smell of a dry, plain baked potato is enough to arouse your taste buds. Likewise, the

thought of having some fresh, plain pasta is a real treat. Chocolate? No thanks, give me

a plain bagel. Weird.

90% of the supermarket is now useless

There was a time when food shopping was fun. When the choice was truly yours. When

you could peruse all the aisles and get taken in by whatever marketing spiel and fancy

new packaging was on the shelf. It was naughty, but you enjoyed it. Nowadays all you

need is a kilo of chicken and two kilos of green veg. Where's the fun in that?

You're poorer

The thing is, when you substitute protein for carbs to keep you full, everything is just a

f*ck ton more expensive. It hits your bank balance hard – eating healthy is pricey. How

this is allowed to happen is a miracle to you, when the government is preaching about

how bad ready meals are and how everyone should eat more veg. Why hitch the prices

up then, eh? Madness.

You go to bed hungry and it sucks

When you start a lean, low-carb diet you might be eating more food, but don't feel full.

You feel a bit empty, all the time. Granted, this feeling disappears after a few days as

your body adapts to the reduced calorie intake but right here, right now it sucks. And it's

the worst when you have to go to bed hungry. You toss and turn, constantly trying to not

to think about food. You look forward to sleeping because then it will be morning and

you'll be able to eat again at breakfast. You used to count down the days to the weekend

– now you're counting down the hours until your next bowl of broccoli. Why are you

doing this to yourself?

Ah well, at least you're going to look shredded! We know it can feel like a load of b*llocks

but remember why you got into this in the first place; to drop weight, burn fat and get

lean AF. Keep going. And at the end of it, you could look like this! Absolutely shredded.

You can do it.

Get Super Lean With Carb Cycling - Here's Your 101 Guide

We live in a world where carbs are painted as the enemy of weight loss and the cause of

the obesity epidemic. And while a high-carb diet can lead to weight gain and health

problems, it can also help you lose fat and improve your body composition.

How? The answer, my friends, is carb cycling.

Carb Cycling: How Does It Work?

Carb cycling isn’t so much a diet in the classic sense as it is a way to structure your

eating. Basically, you cycle days of high-carb eating with days of low-carb eating in order

to give your body the nutrients it needs when it needs them most.

Your high-carb days are going to coincide with days of intense physical activity, such as

esistance training or high-intensity interval training. Carbs are converted into glycogen

(the body’s preferred source of fuel), so we want to give the body more energy when it

needs it the most. Low-carb days fall on the days when you perform little to no physical

activity, because your body doesn’t need the extra energy.

The rules of carb cycling are pretty simple. On days you’re performing intense workouts ,

you’ll eat a higher-carb, lower-fat diet. Then, on days when you rest or perform lowintensity

activity, you’ll eat a lower-carb, higher-fat diet. Protein consumption will stay

relatively consistent in either case.

You can find a lot of different recommendations for how to set up your carb cycling diet,

but here is a good starting point:

High-Carb Days

Carbs: 1.5-2.5 grams per pound of bodyweight

Protein: 1.0-1.25 grams per pound of bodyweight

Fat: as little as possible

Low-Carb Days

Carbs: 0.5-1.0 grams per pound of bodyweight

Protein: 1.0-1.25 grams per pound of bodyweight

Fat: 0.2-0.4 grams per pound of bodyweight

Carb cycling allows you to take advantage of the specific metabolic processes that take

place in your body. Eating carbs has an effect on a few different hormones, and these

hormones affect how we lose fat.

Insulin

Carbs have the biggest effect on the release of insulin. The more carbs we consume, the

more insulin gets released. Insulin is good in the sense it helps your body send nutrients

where it needs them the most. But chronically elevated levels of insulin can make you

insulin resistant and increase your body’s storage of fat.

Intense exercise makes you more sensitive to insulin, meaning that when you consume

carbs around workouts, your body will be better able to utilize them for energy rather

than fat storage.This is why high-carb days fall on the same days as your intense

workouts.

When you aren’t training hard, however, your body doesn’t need the extra energy, so

carb cycling utilizes low-carb days to help promote the burning of stored energy (aka

fat).

Leptin

Leptin is known as the hunger hormone. It gets released during periods of over-feeding

to let us know that we’re full and don’t need to eat anymore. An increased caloric intake

promotes the secretion of leptin, also causing it to speed up our metabolism.

Chronic overeating, however, can make you resistant to the effects of leptin. Instead of

getting the feeling of being satisfied, the signals don’t get to your brain so you keep

overeating.

Under-eating, like when you’re trying to lose weight, also affects leptin. The more you

diet, the less leptin you produce. And the less leptin you produce, the hungrier you feel.

Carb cycling works to keep leptin levels in check because it alternates periods of overfeeding

(high-carb days) with under-feeding (low-carb days). This helps keeps leptin

secretion at optimal levels.

Carb Cycling Pros

The obvious pro here is that you don’t need to go on a low-carb diet to lose weight,

which would be challenging for a lot of people. Eating carbs promotes the release of

serotonin in your brain. This hormone helps boost mood and is often used to treat

depression.

Low-carb diets naturally decrease serotonin levels, often leaving dieters feeling down,

depressed, and craving sugar. By cycling your carb intake, you can minimize the effects

of low serotonin levels.

Carb cycling also improves your workouts and performance thanks to the high-carb days

that give your body easily accessible energy when it needs it the most. This will lead to

more calories burned overall, and better muscle growth.

Carb Cycling Cons

The biggest drawback of carb cycling is that for it to work effectively, you need to count

macros and calories. No matter how effective carb cycling is at manipulating your

hormonal environment to aid in fat loss, it still doesn’t supersede a caloric deficit. For this

reason, it’s somewhat of a more advanced strategy.

“Carb cycling is considered an aggressive and high-level nutrition strategy. Only people

whose nutritional adherence is extremely high (such as physique athletes) and who

require a more meticulous nutritional approach should use it," says Dr. Ryan Andrews of

Precision Nutrition.

There are those who say that carb cycling works without having to count calories. And

while that may be true, it’s not optimal. If you’re looking for long-term, continual progress,

counting calories makes it much easier to adjust your diet based on your results.

The other drawback is that if you’re not someone who is regularly engaged in highintensity

training, carb cycling probably isn’t for you. Your body simply doesn’t need as

many carbs, so it doesn’t make sense to cycle them — and you can probably get away

with eating a low-to-moderate amount daily as long as you’re in a caloric deficit.

The Verdict

When done correctly, carb cycling is a solid nutritional approach. In fact, it may be the

most effective and efficient way to improve body composition. It also seems to be

particularly effective in helping already fairly lean individuals lose the last few pounds.

However, it is a little bit more of an advanced strategy, and probably not something a

first-time dieter should jump into.

Rating Carb Cycling

Convenience/Feasibility — 15/20

The biggest downside of carb cycling is that you’re essentially eating two different diets:

One day your meals consist of high-carb, low-fat foods, and the next day they consist of

low-carb, high-fat foods.

If you’re tracking your calories and macros, this can cause a bit of a headache because

you have to keep track of two different numbers. Speaking from experience though, after

about a week or two in, you really don’t think about it much.

Cost — 20/20

There’s nothing special you need to purchase for this — just whole, minimally processed

foods. And like we talked about in the clean eating review, those foods really aren’t that

much more expensive than their highly-processed counterparts.

Safety — 20/20

There’s nothing inherently dangerous or unsafe about carb cycling. In fact, it can provide

a lot of hormonal benefits that can improve your overall health.

Flexibility — 20/20

Carb cycling is based on flexibility. One day you’re allowed to eat more carbs, and the

next day you can eat more fat. This allows to you eat a wide variety of foods during the

week, which increases diet adherence by reducing the monotony of eating the same

thing every day.

Effectiveness — 20/20

Carb cycling can be a very effective way to lose body fat and improve body composition.

It allows you to take advantage of specific metabolic processes that can help you

improve your body composition much more efficiently than by using caloric restriction

alone.

It also allows you to enjoy a wider range of food. If you can be disciplined and monitor

your intake properly, carb cycling will produce great results.

Final Score — 95/100

If hitting the gym on the regular isn’t resulting in the swelling silhouette you envisioned,

you may not be sending your muscles the right message. Key variables in your training

— sets, reps, weight, rest — determine the outcome of your efforts, so it’s important to

ensure those factors are aligned towards your goal.

Here, created using a combination of high volume, varying weight, and controlled rest

periods, you’ll find a simple and effective muscle-building workout plan, designed to pack

mass onto your entire body. “For the skinny dude, this is a great workout to put on some

serious muscle,” says celebrity trainer and elite endurance athlete Alex Isaly, the

architect behind this bulk-up blueprint.

The workouts in this program are programmed to increase muscle size and strength

using a popular muscle-building methodology called “drop sets.” Unlike regular sets,

which follow a uniform rep scheme (e.g. three sets of 10 reps), drop sets decrease in

reps as you go (e.g. three sets: 12, 10, 8 reps, and so on).

“The added stress on the muscles amplifies muscle growth, Isaly says. “Drop sets

activate the deepest muscle fibers, leading to maximum growth.”

The three workouts in this program can be used as standalone sessions to target

specific muscle groups, or performed consecutively (and yes, repeatedly) with 1–2 rest

days between workouts as an ongoing full-body workout plan.

How It Works

Find yourself a bench and grab three sets of dumbbells — that’s all you’ll ever need for

any workout in this plan. You want to be able to do no more than 12 reps of a given

exercise with your heaviest pair of dumbbells. “Each set of weights should be heavy

enough to take you to failure on the last couple of reps,” Isaly says.

Rest for 2 minutes between sets and 3 minutes between exercises.

The Workouts

Function: Muscle growth, strength

Modality: Drop sets

Intensity: Medium to high

Level: Intermediate to advanced

Target: Full body Equipment:

Dumbbells, adjustable bench

Workout 1: Chest, Shoulders, Triceps

Workout 2: Back, Biceps, Abs

Workout 3: Legs

Day 1: Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps

Block 1: Chest

Decline Bench Press (12, 10, 8)

Flat Bench Press (12, 10, 8)

Incline Bench Press (12, 10, 8)

Flat Bench Fly (12, 10, 8)

Incline Bench Fly (12, 10, 8)

Block 2: Shoulders

Front Raise (12, 10, 8)

Seated Lateral Raise (12, 10, 8)

Seated Rear Delt Fly (12, 10, 8)

Seated Overhead Press (12, 10, 8)

Block 3: Triceps

Seated Single-Arm Triceps Extension (12, 10, 8)

Skullcrushers (12, 10, 8)

Bodyweight Dips (Until failure)

Day 2: Back, Biceps, and Abs

Block 1: Back

Bent-over Reverse Fly (12, 10, 8)

Single-Arm Dumbbell Row (12, 10, 8)

Wide-Grip Pullups (Until failure)

Supermans (Until failure)

Block 2: Biceps

Incline Bench Bicep Curls (12, 10, 8)

Cross-body Hammer Curls (12, 10, 8)

Block 3: Abs

Russian Dumbbell Twist (15, 15)

Dumbbell Crunch (15, 15)

Dumbbell Toe Touch (15, 15)

Day 3: Legs

Dumbbell Step-Up (12, 10, 8)

Dumbbell Squat (12, 10, 8)

Dumbbell Calf Raise (12, 10, 8)

Dumbbell Stiff-Leg Deadlift (12, 10, 8)

Daily Undulating Periodization (DUP) Training

Whether your goal is to lose fat or build muscle, many fitness experts agree that there is

one type of training you should prioritize over all others — strength training.

Now, when I say strength training, I’m not talking about going to the gym and pumping

out 3 sets of 10 on biceps and triceps every other day. No, I’m talking about pure,

unadulterated, strength training. The type of training that separates the men from the

boys; where you’re actually a little bit scared to get under the bar.

There are many different programs out there that focus on helping you build strength:

5x5, 5/3/1, Westside, etc. In this article, were going to talk about one of the best and

most fun (in my opinion) programs for increasing your overall strength: daily undulating

periodization (DUP).

What is Daily Undulating Periodization?

DUP is a method of programming that has you performing a core set of movements

three or more times per week, working in different rep ranges with each session.

Let’s look at each component individually:

Daily: During each workout, you’ll be performing the same main movements. These

movements are compound, multi-joint exercises like the squat, deadlift, bench press,

and overhead press (or the variation of these that suit you the best).

Undulating: Undulating is defined as “moving in a wave-like motion.” With DUP, the

weights, rep scheme, and intensity you use for each exercise will change with every

workout ,going from light to moderate to heavy weights, and from high to medium to low

reps.

Periodization:The goal of periodization is progression towards maximizing strength

while minimizing fatigue and injury. With DUP, the daily variation of periodization places

enough stress on your body to continually make progress, yet it doesn’t allow it to adapt

to the stress and plateau.

So basically, you are performing the same exercises during every workout, just with

different loads and rep ranges. But won’t training like this lead to overtraining, excess

fatigue, and injury? Actually, no — for a couple of reasons.

One, the change in rep scheme and load ensures that you are not overworking a single

area. Not only that, but the higher frequency of work increases your body’s motor

learning capabilities. Basically, this means that the more you perform an exercise, the

better you get at it.

In addition, increased training frequency increases muscle protein synthesis, leading to

more strength and more muscle gains over time.

How to Program DUP

Since this may be your first introduction to DUP, we’ll start off with a basic sample

program that has you performing squats, deadlifts, and bench press three times a week.

But you will be performing the exercises in different rep ranges each day: These are

usually classified as power, strength, and hypertrophy.

For your power sets, you’ll be using a moderately heavy weight (65-70% of your one-rep

max) with low reps, focusing on speed.

For strength, you will be using a heavy weight (80-85% of one-rep max) for low reps,

focusing on strength.

For hypertrophy, you’ll again be using a moderately heavy weight, but this time for

higher reps.

Here is an example:

Power days – 5x3 at 70% of 1RM

Strength days – 4x4 at 85% of 1RM

Hypertrophy days – 3x10 at 65-70% of 1RM

Here is how the program can be set up:

Monday – Deadlift (power), Bench Press (strength), Squat (hypertrophy)

Tuesday – Off

Wednesday – Bench Press (power), Squat (strength), Deadlift (hyprtrophy)

Thursday – Off

Friday – Squat (power), Deadlift (strength), Bench Press (hypertrophy)

Saturday – Off/Accessory

Sunday – Off

Accessory work is allowed with DUP, but not required. It’s really up to you. If

you’re going to have an accessory day, I would suggest doing five or six

exercises that support your primary movements. Something like:

Deadifts – Romanian Deadlifts/Pull-Ups/Barbell Rows

Squats – Goblet Squats/Leg Presses/Glute Bridge

Bench Press – Push-Ups/Seated Shoulder Press/Floor press

Progression

When it comes to seeing gains, progression is key. The best way to progress with DUP

is to either add weight every week or increase the amount of sets and reps on a weekly

basis.

For adding weight, your goal should be to increase the load by five pounds each week

on your strength and hypertrophy sets, while keeping your power sets the same and just

focusing on speed or adding an extra set.

When it comes to adding sets and reps, focus on trying to add one additional rep each

week during your strength work, while adding an additional set during your power and

hypertrophy work.

Regardless of which progression method you choose, you don’t want to do DUP for

longer than a four to six-week cycle without taking a one-week break in between. You

can keep the exercises, sets, and reps the same during these "de-load" weeks, but you

should reduce the loads by 50%. This helps facilitate recovery while preventing burnout.

It would also be beneficial to switch your exercises up with each DUP cycle so you can

target other movement patterns and muscle groups.

When used correctly, DUP is a fantastic way to add strength quickly. While it is a bit

more of an advanced strategy, if you have experience with the basic compound

exercises, it can help you set new PRs and take your gains to the next level.

Best Training Methods For Muscle Growth:

Bodybuilders, athletes and regular Joes alike have built impressive physiques using a

diverse range of workout systems. The only common ground they share is: lifting

weights, working hard and being consistent.

That said, there are basic recommendations that are well supported, both scientifically

and anecdotally. Low rep sets (1-5 reps) are best for building strength, higher-rep sets

(15-20) are more efficient to increase muscular endurance. The best “zone” for

hypertrophy (muscle growth) seems to be in the 8-12 rep range.

But before you toss every workout plan that doesn’t stick to that narrow range, take

heed: Recent research has demonstrated that muscles can grow across a very broad

rep range. Which explains why my three favorite set and rep schemes are so different

from that classic approach yet still work so well.

8 x 8

This is a variation of the classic 5 x 5 method — arguably the oldest training method of

them all. And like most things that have stood the test of time, it simply works: five sets

of five reps at 75-80% of your 1-rep maximum (1RM) would pack muscle onto a canary.

However, for pure size gains, the 8 x 8 scheme is even better. Popularized by iron guru

Vince Gironda, this method focuses on training density rather than load.

To perform eight sets of eight reps, use a weight that you could do 12 reps with (roughly

60% of your 1RM). The kicker is that you must complete all eight sets before you can

increase the weight. Oh, and you can’t rest much – only 30 seconds between sets.

It's not easy, to put it mildly. You’ll quickly overextend the rest interval if you don’t keep

your eyes focused on your stopwatch. But the pump it delivers? Yikes. Talk about

metabolic stress. And as some Governor named Schwarzenegger once said, “Da pump

equals growth.” I love this method with smaller exercises like barbell curls and lateral

raises.

Pyramid Training

Pyramids have been around for as long as, well, the pyramids. There are different

versions of pyramid sets.

Ascending Pyramids: Increase the weight with each set while you decrease the amount

of reps.

Set 1: 12-15 reps

Set 2: 10-12 reps

Set 3: 8-10 reps

Set 4: 4-6 reps

By starting light and adding weight with each set, you’re well warmed-up before you get

to the heavier weights. So it’s a safe way to train. Increasing the load with each set,

called “ramping,” also wakes up your nervous system so it can assist with the heavier

loads. This is a great system for getting stronger.

Descending Pyramids: Decrease the weight with each set as you increase the

amount of reps.

A drawback with ascending pyramids is you only do one “all out” set. But for maximum

hypertrophy, working until failure is a powerful tool. As such, you may want to keep your

muscles near failure for longer to elicit the greatest growth response. Enter the

descending pyramid.

Set 1: 4-6 reps

Set 2: 8-10 reps

Set 3: 10-12 reps

Set 4: 12-15 reps

Start off with your heaviest weight for a few reps (after warming up, of course), and then

decrease the weight and do more reps with each successive set. Since each set is taken

to failure (or close to it), this scheme is best suited for pure hypertrophy — with strength

gains coming as a close second.

Want the best of both worlds? Well, I have a pyramid for you. It’s called the

triangle pyramid.

With triangles, the weight is increased with each set until reaching your heaviest one.

From there, you follow a descending pyramid scheme using progressively lighter weights

while doing more reps — with these sets taken closer to muscular failure, and the last

set taken to total failure.

Triangle Pyramids: Combines both ascending and descending pyramids.

Set 1: 12-15 reps

Set 2: 10-12 rep

Set 3: 8-10 reps

Set 4: 4-6 reps

Set 5: 8-10 reps

Set 6: 10-12 reps

Set 7: Total failure

While it's a whole lot of sets, triangle pyramids are tough to beat when it comes to

increasing muscle size.

8 x 3

Speaking of a lot of sets, this bad boy is one of my favorites — even though the amount

of reps is lower than the typical 8-12 rep “hypertrophy zone.”

This scheme calls for using 80-85% of your 1RM — or roughly the weight you could lift

for five perfect reps, and performing eight sets of three reps.

How can you grow using such low reps? For one, the heavy loads preferentially recruit

the fast-twitch muscle fibers, which have greater growth potential compared to the slowtwitch

fibers (which don’t really “kick in” until the reps get higher).

And two: Volume, baby! Doing so many sets (eight) makes up for the comparatively low

amount of reps. And that’s eight sets of quality, heavy work.

Just be careful not to overshoot your weights (sets 1-5 should be quite easy) and use

impeccable form. Once you can do all eight sets for three perfect reps, increase the load

by 2.5-5% for your next workout.

This kind of work is best used with big, compound exercises like bench presses, pullups,

squats, and deadlifts.

Picking your favorite set and rep system? C’mon, that’s like picking your favorite child.

But there are certainly strategies that have stood the test of time. These three methods

have been getting dudes big for many years and aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Pick one and give it a serious six-week run.

Men’s Summer Fashion – Latest Trends in 2018

Summer and fashion don’t always go hand in hand for men. Looking good comes easy

when the temperatures drop. You can let your inner lumberjack shine, and chances are

you’ll look fine. But Summer… that’s a different monster.

Off the top of the head, you probably associate Summer styles with the preppy look: pink

shorts, polos, Topsiders. And while they definitely have the spirit of comfort down,

preppy does not have a monopoly on warm looks. Whether you want edgy, athletic,

rugged, or anything in between, this is the Summer to step it up and make it happen.

Men’s Summer Style Essentials

The Shorts

The preppy style has enjoyed a high fasshion renaissance in past years, which means

chino shorts have taken a bold turn.

Pastels are hot, but if you want to steer away from a fratty look, change up your colors.

Khaki is a neutral option, but you don’t have to play it safe. Black or navy shorts can add

new life to your wardrobe.

A pair of athletic shorts, be it mesh or sweat, is an easy option when the situation is

casual. Athleisure is a legitimate fashion cornerstone these days, so don’t feel like they

can only be worn with tees and tanks.

Branch out and try to work them into your social attire. As with all shorts, avoid overly

baggy and long choices. You don’t want to look you hopped out of your dad’s 70s

basketball photos, but just above the knee is always a solid bet.

The third option is a little more controversial: Denim Shorts.

Don’t fall into the John Cena trap. If you must wear jorts, make a well fitting pair of

cutoffs. For length, don’t go overboard in either direction, and most importantly, don’t

think they go with every outfit.

Jorts are a casual look that can be dressed up with a nice shirt, but don’t think you can

show up to your boss’s barbeque in those bad boys.

Shorts Buyer’s Guide

$: Volcom – Men’s Chino Shorts

$: H&M – Knee Length Shorts

$: AllSaints – Cobalt Chino Shorts

$: Bonobos: – Parker Shorts

$: UNIQLO – Men’s Easy Shorts

The Shirts

Summer shirts can be a dangerous game. It’s hot. Keep it light.

Invest in some t-shirts with a little more substance than a 5-pack of Fruit of the Loom.

Keep the designs simple. No Ed Hardy. No graphic tees with awful jokes.

Our pick: Striped Tee’s fits the bill perfectly.

If the situation calls for something with a little class, you have three options: polos, long

sleeve button ups, and short sleeve button ups.

As for polos, they work well with chino shorts, but you will be encroaching on preppy,

which is not a bad thing. If that style is out for you, play it down with neutral colors, a

tailored fit, and a pair of jeans.

For button ups, keep the heat in mind. Go for a light weight linen for long sleeves.

Plain light colored shirts are always an easy find, but if you can find plaid that won’t give

you a heat stroke, indulge in some patterns. Plain colors are staples for a reason, but

don’t get boring.

For short sleeves, the same rules apply. Keep it light. Keep it breezy.

Patterned short sleeves are very in fashion right now, so get creative. Things to avoid

are bowling shirts and Hawaiian shirts. If you’re not a Weekend Dad, don’t dress like

one. But remember, “no Hawaiian” definitely does not mean “no floral.”

Shirts Buyer’s Guide

$: UNIQLO – Supima Cotton Striped T-Shirt

$: Ralph Lauren – Polo

$: Mark & Spencer London – Pure Cotton Polo (Plain)

$: H&M – Stretch Shirt Slim fit

$: Bonobos – Floral Shirt

$: RSVLTS – Bomb Pops & Freedom Patterned Button Up

The Pants

Discussing pants in a summer fashion article might seem silly. Once it hits about 80

degrees, shorts are acceptable (and expected) in almost every situation. But you may

find yourself slipping on some jeans this July.

Put your dark wash indigos away till fall, and try out some lighter shades. Avoid “true

blue” and anything acid wash, but otherwise feel free to experiment on that end of the

spectrum.

If a bold choice like that is not up your alley, go with black. Although it seems

counterproductive, black jeans will always look good.

Chinos are a different story. The lightweight material was made for warm weather.

There’s no reason to be too bold with your colors, but don’t get stuck in a khaki rut.

Olive, gray, blue, and pretty much anything non-florescent is up for grabs.

Pants Buyer’s Guide

$: UNIQLO – Slim Fit Chino Front Pants

$: H&M – Skinny Fit Chinos

$: AllSaints – Men’s Park Chino

The Shoes

You have a lot of options in terms of footwear. Summer shoes like vans or boat shoes

can go with just about anything. Keep your Vans’ colors subtle this season. White is

always appropriate, while still giving a bit of a pop.

That doesn’t mean your sneakers should be boring – black and white are easy colors

that work, but a sleek pair of low profile sneakers in any colorway can work and when

done right add an amazing pop to any summer outfit.

Our Favorite: White Leather Sneakers are a winner for this summer. Versatile enough

to work with any summer outfit.

minsookr

Socks either need to be no-show or mid-calf. Socks can be worn proudly this summer.

Expect to see plenty of Black or white mid-calves, but gray is also an acceptable option.

Shoes Buyer’s Guide

$: Adidas – Gazelle

$: Vans – Old Skool

$: Converse – Chuck Taylor Low

$: Adidas – Stan Smith

$: Sperry – Top-Sider

Outerwear and Accessories

I’m including outerwear with accessories because that’s what they are in the warmer

months.

Keep something lightweight on hand for when the sun drops. You’re not going to be

wearing it all day, so pick something that can go with almost any outfit you own.

Bomber jackets are still all the rage, so if you can find one thin enough, pick one up in

something neutral, like cream. Unlined denim jackets are also a great option. Same color

rules apply as with jeans. $ – Levi’s Denim Jacket // Topman Cream Bomber

As for other accessories, keep it practical. Sunglasses are must-haves. Invest in a

quality pair.

$ – Oliver Peoples Hassett 52

As for hats, they’re are getting more relaxed. Retire your flat brims for something you

might actually wear to a baseball game.

$ – Relaxed Fit Baseball Cap

Lastly, find a comfortable watch. Metal, leather, and rubber are all going to be too heavy.

The Timex Weekender, with its canvas strap, is a safe bet. Like any article you might

wear this summer, material is the key.

When it comes to Summer fashion, don’t sweat it. Keep it lightweight and functional, but

don’t sacrifice aesthetic. It’s the perfect time to experiment, because many of your peers

probably aren’t going to bother trying. Hit June in

Best Men’s Colognes (June. 2018)

This guide has been recently updated to keep you smelling fresh for 2018!

The world of men’s fragrances can be complicated. The same fragrance can smell

completely different on 2 different people.

When you’re buying a perfume or cologne, several factors are taken into account with

how the scent will mix in with your natural smell and hopefully produce something that

smells good.

Factors such as the natural smell of your skin, your age, your diet, your body chemistry –

even your stress levels and the medications you take can alter the way a fragrance

smells on you.

Not to mention women literally can determine a man’s attractiveness by his scent.

Similarly, some fragrances can last for hours on end for certain people and at the same

time last a very short while on others – depending on things such as the dryness or

oiliness of your skin.

We’ve tried to take into account many things – such as budget options, the time of year

to use the fragrance and how powerful and lasting the fragrance can potentially be.

With all that in mind, here’s our list of the best men’s fragrances that will hopefully have

you smelling like a million bucks.

$: Nautica Voyage By Nautica For Men

Originally created by Maurice Roucel, perhaps one of the top fragrance makers in the

world – his stuff usually costs $300+ a bottle.

Nautica Voyage is one of the best daily fragrance for men, It’s very light and airy, like

coming out of the shower and laying out on the beach.

At the same time it also has a distinctive masculine scent to give it just the proper

amount of punch.

It’s not overpowering or offensive in any shape or form, you can wear it to work, school

or any social function you can think of. The perfect daily wear cologne.

$: Essential by Lacoste

This is perhaps one of the best summer fragrances I’ve ever used. It has all the things

you want in a summer cologne, a citrus smell that’s very fresh and light.

The fragrance itself is not overpowering at all, perhaps even a little under-powering

which would be the only fault of this fragrance.

You will need to spray more than a few times to get a long lasting scent. Overall, an

amazing day-time fragrance especially during the scorching heat.

$: Kenneth Cole Reaction by Kenneth Cole For Men

Reaction is my favorite lesser known fragrance. I’ve rarely met people that own it even

though it’s perhaps the most underrated cologne on the market.

The awesome thing is – this is the best budget fragrance for men. The price is very

reasonable for the quality you’re getting.

The scent is fruity and playful, think fresh green apples – it dries down to a fresh herbal

smell that’s simply amazing.

Highly recommended if you’re looking for a cheaper option for daily use.

$: Virgin Island Water by CREED

If you got a lot of money to spend and are looking for the best beach fragrance of all

time, there is no other option than Virgin Island Water by Creed Aventus.

This is the holy grail of summer beach, tropical, exotic scents.

Some call it the best summer fragrance they’ve ever used – from the scent itself, to

how long lasting it is and how perfectly it projects, it gets a 10 in every category.

$: La Nuit De L’homme by Yves Saint Laurent

Though it’s gone through many reformulation, YSL La Nuit remains for me the best

evening fragrance for men.

The sophisticated, fresh and masculine scent it produces blends perfectly together.

Many people have described this scent as simply ‘intoxicating’.

Love using this fragrance for late night party’s, clubbing, going to restaurants, etc.

The perfect cologne for social events.

This fragrance is all about versatility.

$: Individuel Eau de Toilette by MONTBLANC

A great budget option that rivals the performance of fragrances in the $250+ range.

If you’re looking for the best long lasting men’s fragrance, that doesn’t cost an arm

and a leg, you want Mont Blanc Individuel.

The scent is simply everything you want in a daily use, versatile fragrance – fresh, floral,

clean and airy.

A great cologne for any occasion, any outing and any season.

$: Le Male Eau Fraiche Popeye Eau De Toilette by Jean Paul Gaultier

A great option for a spring / summer fragrance.

It’s fresh, it’s minty, the bottle is cool as heck – what’s not to love.

The performance is up to par, and you’d be hard pressed finding a better quality cologne

in this price range.

The projection is not overbearing, it’s PERFECT as a close encounters fragrance. Think

hugging or being near someone.

$: Invictus Aqua by Paco Rabanne

If you’re looking for a unique men’s fragrance that not many people own – you want this.

It has a very fresh scent, and the best part – it lasts for up to 10 hours.

This is perhaps the longest lasting summer fragrance I’ve owned, and it lives up to the

hype.

The scent is a quintessential summer scent – cool and fresh. The performance is the

main selling point of this cologne.

$: Valentino Uomo Intense by Valentino

One word to describe this fragrance – Powerful.

As the name suggests, it’s very intense, so one or two sprays is plenty to last and project

for a very long time.

The smell is very vanilla – this combined with how powerful it is makes it perfect for the

winter time.

This is simply a very enchanting cologne. If you want to get noticed, I’d recommend it

highly.

The 7 Best Eye creams in 2018

We could all probably stand to up our skincare game. We know about face washes,

exfoliators, and moisturizers, but what do we do for the sensitive skin beneath our eyes?

There’s an easy answer: Eye cream. But just like every other skin product, it seems like

there are a million different skin types. How do you decide what to pick?

Fortunately, eye cream doesn’t really need to be as complicated as it seems. In reality,

unless you have a very specific issue, most normal moisturizers will do.

However, if you DO have especially dry skin around your eyes, sensitive skin, wrinklies,

dark circles, or puffy under eyes you would like to get rid of, then investing in eye cream

is important.

We’ve put together a list of some of our favorites to help you through this difficult

decision. Up your eye game with some of these amazing products.

Yes To Blueberries Age Refresh Eye Firming Treatment

First and foremost, this is a great budget option. For under $8 on amazon, you can get

some great eye care without draining your wallet, and trust us, that can be hard to find.

As far as skin concerns go, this is great for wrinkle prone eyes. Sure, there are more

high-end options that make bold promises about wrinkles, but we can’t all blow $30+ on

a tiny container of eye cream.

If you have especially dry skin, this might not be intense enough for you. However, when

used in combination with a quality moisturizer, this might be just the eye boost you need.

Bottomline: If you need a little extra kick in the eyebags, but don’t want to drop too much

cash, this is your best bet.

Buy it on Amazon

Tarte Maracuja C-Brighter Eye Treatment

Next, let’s kick up the price a little.

Tarte is a staple brand in the makeup world, which is why your best bet to find this is at

stores like Sephora. With that in mind, you KNOW this is going to be some serious

skincare. No one takes it more seriously than makeup artists.

This cream is best for folks with sensitive skin. Whether sun sensitive, or chemically

sensitive, this is a gentle eye cream with intense effects. It’s also great from crows feet

and fine lines.

Bottomline: This is a great all around eye cream. It’s a bit more of an investment than

Yes To option, but it’s definitely worth the price.

Buy it on Amazon

Kate Somerville Age Arrest Eye Cream

Now we’re getting into the very high end skin products.

This cream from Kate Somerville is certainly going to price a lot of customers out. But

unfortunately, you usually get what you pay for, and that’s no different when it comes to

skincare.

As the name implies, this is the perfect cream for wrinkles, crows feet, or any other signs

of aging. However, the main intention of this product is skin firming. If you have a little

sag under the eyes, this is your cream.

Bottomline: This may be a little overpriced, but the technology in this product makes it

worth a small fortune. If you have some serious baggage under your eyes, this is your

best option, even if the price tag makes you a little nauseous.

Buy it on Amazon

Kiehl’s Creamy Eye Treatment with Avocado

To put it bluntly, this is a HEAVY eye cream. You’re not going to want to wear this cream

around during the day. You’ll look a little greasy, and no one wants greasy eyelids.

However, if you have some serious drying issues, this is a great night cream. Throw it on

if you’re constantly straining your eyes during the day. Many customers with computer

heavy job find this to be the perfect cream for after a long day of staring at screens.

The key ingredients here are avocado oil (obviously), beta-carotene, and shea butter.

Bottomline: For some serious moisturizing, without the high price of the Kate

Somerville,this is a great option. Just make sure you have another option for your early

morning eye treatment.

Buy it on Amazon

Avon Anew Clinical Thermafirm

For drooping eyes that need some some serious firming action, you need to take some

drastic measures. Luckily, this “drastic measure” is only going to cost you about $20. But

don’t let the price fool you. This is a high quality product.

The reason that it’s so cheap (compared to other eye creams) is because it’s not

exclusively an eye cream. For whatever reason, the smaller area a product is meant to

cover, the more expensive it is. While $20 is a mid range moisturizer, it’s pretty cheap for

eye cream.

Bottomline: This is an inexpensive product with some serious firming qualities to it. If

you’re worried about lines, sagging, or other aging signs, this is a great budget option.

Buy it on Amazon

Farmacy Dew It All Total Eye Cream with Echinacea GreenEnvy

Next we have another all around product. It’s great for any skin type, but it is especially

effective on dark circles. While all eye creams should have some effect on signs of

aging, that’s not explicitly what this product is for.

The special Echinacea GreenEnvy is a blend that contains cichoric acid that promotes

collagen. That means you’ll get some firming and toning, promoting overall healthy eye

skin.

Bottomline: This is a great all around eye cream. Unless you have a very serious issue

you need to target, this is the cream for you.

Buy it on Amazon

Clinique Repair Anti-Gravity Eye Cream

This cream is a an anti-aging powerhouse. From wrinkles to dark circles to sagging eye

skin, this is the cream to fix your problems. It’s deep moisturizing, meant to get in there

to regenerate, firm, and repair.

This may be a little pricey for some consumers, but trust that it’s worth every penny.

You’ll see just how quickly it fixes your wrinkles and fine lines quick.

Bottomline: This is a perfect option if you’re worried about signs of aging

The Best Facial Moisturizers (2018)

Ask any skin care guru what the number one most important products for your face are,

and they’ll probably all tell you the same thing: facial moisturizers.

Throughout the day, our skin is zapped of it’s moisture, leaving us looking dry and

haggard. Every time you shower, shave, or even just step out into the cold winter air,

you’re doing a little bit of damage. Fortunately, moisturizers can fix this fairly quickly and

provide you with the protection your skin needs.

But not all skin is the same. Some people have oily skin. Some people have acne

prone skin. Some people have sensitive skin, and don’t like to to put a ton of product

on.

Do these people really need to be throwing more moisture on their face? Short answer,

yes. However, it’s important that you understand your skin type before investing

Since skincare isn’t a one size fits all situation, we decided to break down a list of our

favorites for every skin type.

Whether sensitive, normal, dry, oily, acne-prone, or some combination of any of these,

we’ve got you covered.

If you want to keep your skin looking beautiful for years to come, it’s important to choose

the right products. Start a skincare regimen today that caters to your needs.

Moisturizers For Dry Skin

If you have especially dry skin, chances are you know it. Your face feels like it’s going to

crack after a shower. Winter is your enemy. That just means you need to invest in a

strong facial moisturizers. The light options we’ve covered, except the ones described as

too heavy for day use, are not an option for you. Here are some heavy hitters to keep

your face look luscious.

Eucerin Dry Skin Replenishing Cream With 5% Urea – Let’s say you have very dry

skin, are prone to acne, AND are so cheap that the more expensive options at Sephora

made you sick. This cream is for you. The company targets this towards “Very Dry

Rough Skin,” so if you feel like a snake face in the winter, this is for you. In addition, it

won’t make you break out. Keep your skin fresh and glowing without the acne. It’s a

perfect night and day cream, so use it liberally.

Clinique Moisture Surge Intense Skin Fortifying Hydrator – This next model is NOT

for the penny pinchers. However, if you’re in the need for some intense repair, this is one

of your best bets. We’re talking flakey skin, winter winds whipping dry. If you’re only on

the moderate side, this is not for you. But if you feel like your face is going to fall off

when you walk outside, invest in this option from Clinique.

Moisturizers For Normal Skin

Let’s start with the basics. If your skin doesn’t really fall into a specific problem category,

consider it simply “normal.” It doesn’t get too dry, or to oily, and you’re not to concerned

with acne. So you need facial moisturizers that don’t try to push your skin too far in either

direction.

Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel – The Dramatically Different line is a

very popular one, but users often find the lotion formula to be a bit too greasy. The gel,

on the other hand, is lightweight enough for those with normal skin. If you are prone to

acne, this is not the choice for you.

Astral Moisturizing Cream – This face and body moisturizer from Astral is decent for

those that may be a little acne prone, especially hormonal, but it’s more suited for normal

skin. Despite it’s label as face and body, you might find it a bit to expensive to go all

over. Invest in facial moisturizers, but you can afford to be thrifty on your body. Users

also suggest using this only as a night moisturizer, as it might make you look a bit oily.

Moisturizers For Sensitive Skin

If you find that many moisturizers leave your skin red and irritated, you may fall under

sensitive skin. Often other problems go along with sensitive skin, so many facial

moisturizers in this category can pull double duty. Keep in mind any other problems that

you may have. If you’re acne prone as well, one that clogs your pores is a no-no.

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream – This product is really a well-rounded cream. It’s

suitable for sensitive, acne prone, oily, AND dehydrated. You’re not going to find many

that works for just about everything. This is especially useful if your sensitivity comes

from eczema. Some users have said that it can be a little rich, so they prefer it only as a

night cream. If you find that to be a case, pair it up with a lighter option for the mornings.

Stratia Liquid Gold – If you’re looking for a later moisturizer, or if you have rosacea

prone skin, this is a top choice. It’s perfect for sensitive skin, without the richness of the

Ultra Repair Cream. It’s a spray on moisturizer, which may make application easier for

some. However, if you like more control, this might not be for you. The company states

that if you have very pale skin, you may notice an orange tint. That will go away, but it

may be best to just use before bed. For darker skin tones, alternate this with heavier

creams, or use it alone.

Moisturizers For Oily Skin

If your face starts feeling like a butter factory halfway through the day, you need a

moisturizer that can deal with that. Chances are, you are also fairly acne prone, but

regardless, this is perfect for folks who can’t afford to add any extra oil to their face.

Olay Moisturizing Lotion Sensitive Skin – Yes, this is marketed as an option for those

with sensitive skin, but problem skins tend to have many different problems. This

moisturizer works great for a bunch of different issues. If you use too much, since this

isn’t technically for oily skin, you may get a bit of a sheen, but a little goes a long way.

Keep it light, and you’ll have beautiful, healthy skin.

Moisturizers For Combination Skin

If you have a little bit of both oil and dryness, you fall into combination skin. It can get a

little difficult to deal with, as a cream may help one, and worsen the other.

Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion PM – Since this is technically a night lotion, some

may find it to be a little too heavy. However, it’s perfect for those that can’t quite strike a

balance between dry and oily. It’s been praised for it’s quick absorption, which is

important for avoiding a sheen. Whether you use it as intended, or for both morning and

night, this is a great choice for combination skin.

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Gel – If you have combination skin with certain patches of

intense dehydration, this is your go to. This gel delivers some serious hydration without

adding to your oils. It’s fast absorbing, and while we can’t fully trust a manufacturer’s

word, it claims to be effective for up to 48 hours. That’s perfect if you can’t afford to keep

throwing lotion on your oily spots.

Moisturizers For Acne Prone Skin

If you have severe acne problems, facial moisturizers are your worst enemy. They’ll

break you out, and make the whole situation worse. However, you can’t avoid them

completely. You just have to be careful about what you choose. Keep your skin healthy

without adding more breakouts.

Alaffia Balancing Day Cream – If you’re looking for a simple, all-natural moisturizer,

this is it. It’s a great lightweight option for people worried about breakouts. The one

downside is that it does have a bit of a scent. Even though it is day cream, if smell is an

issue, consider it for your PM option.

Carley’s Clear & Smooth Daytime Moisturizer for Acne Prone Skin – Next we have

an option made specifically for your skin. If you’re prone to acne, sometimes adding

extra chemicals is the worst thing you can do. This all natural option is the perfect, nongreasy

option for your skin.

Staying moisturized is important, but individualization is even more so. Don’t settle for a

cookie cutter skin routine. Don’t settle for cookie cutter skin.

The Secret To Curing Chronic

Chapped Lips

Dry skin is easy enough to deal with – just use the best moisturizer you can find, but how

do you deal with chapped lips that stay dry and peel off NO MATTER HOW MUCH

CHAPSTICK YOU USE?

I tried everything under the sun to cure my chronic chapped lips. I’ve bought and

tested every brand of chap stick from the drug store, I started drinking tons of water and

doing weird DIY recipes that involved house hold items. Nothing worked.

Until I found the holy grail of chapped lip products.

Neosporin Lip Health

Basically, you apply this creamy product to your lips before you go to bed.

When you wake up, you wash it off and remove any excess.

BAM. Perfectly non-chapped lips for days on end.

If you feel your lips getting dry again, just apply overnight and enjoy another few days of

silky smooth lips.

Seriously, this is not a paid review or a promotion of any kind, this is literally the only

thing that has worked for my chronically chapped lips. Give it a try and tell me how it

works for you.

Skincare Guide For Men With

Sensitive Skin

I’ve spent hundreds of dollars trying out products from a variety of brands.

I’ve tried products from the local drug store to luxury products from upscale stores like

Sephora.

I’ve also had a years long battle with trying to get a proper shave without my neck

looking like a minefield.

So if you have a problem finding the proper skincare routine and getting a perfect shave

without ingrown hairs on your neck, read on, I WILL help you find a solution.

1. Give up on ‘Exfoliation’

You might’ve heard of exfoliators, and even tried one yourself. If you have super

sensitive skin like me, you don’t need to use ’em. If you shave your face like most dudes,

you’re not going to get a better exfoliation than a razor to the face. (on the topic of

razors, try out wetshaving, it’s a lifesaver for guys with sensitive skin)

2. Buy a simple facial cleanser

No fancy colors or scents. Just a simple, creamy, cleanser to watch your face with. No

special ingredients like baking soda. My two favorites that have absolutely worked

wonders for me are:

a) Nivea Men’s Sensitive Skin Facial Cleanser

b) Jackblack Daily Facial Cleanser

TIP: If your skin gets ‘dry’ and/or ‘tight’ after using a cleanser, drop it. I used to think this

was a sign that the cleanser was working but it just means your skin is not reacting well

to it.

3. Get a strong and simple moisturizer

Once again you want something that’s easy and simple without too many unwanted

ingredients. No fragrance, with SPF, absorbs easily and doesn’t leave your face greasy.

The best moisturizer I’ve found for this is:

a) Jackblack Moisturizer

How To Get Rid of Razor Bumps On Your Neck

This is a problem I’ve had forever. No matter how I shaved, what I used (a classic

wetshaving razor) or a mach 3, or even an electric shaver, I’d end up with a minefield for

a neck.

Here’s 3 steps to get rid of neck bumps forever:

1. You NEED to let the hair on your neck grow out.

What this does is help your neck recover from the ingrown hairs and bumps. It’s the

bodys natural way of ‘rebooting’ the skin on the neck. Let it grow out until all the bumps

are gone, this could take a few weeks.

2. Use a preshave oil and hotwater to soften the face and facial hair

This will help make the shaving process much smoother.

3. Map your facial hair direction and shave ONLY WITH THE GRAIN

Be mindful of the direction your facial hair is growing. It could be going up, down,

sideways, in swirls, etc. Everyone’s facial hair is different, you might have hair growing 3

different ways on your neck, take note of it!

Hopefully this finally helps you fellow sensitive skin dudes out there!

Guide To Stop (Excessive)

Armpit Sweat

Excessive sweating or hyperhidrosis is one of those problems that doesn’t seem like a

big deal until you have to deal with it.

Than it’s the most annoying problem in the world.

I’ve had to deal with excessive armpit sweat pretty much my whole life and I just dealt

with it. Switching shirts multiple times per day had basically become routine. Only

wearing black was normal for me.

I finally got fed up and started doing my research on how to get rid of excessive armpit

sweating once and for all. Here’s what worked for me and some options you can try out.

The Best Antiperspirants For Underarm Sweat

1. Certain-Dri

2. SweatBlock

3. ZeroSweat

4. Odaban

There are some insanely powerful products on the market in 2018 that can put a stop to

excessive sweating for days to weeks on end.

Basically this is how to use them:

1. Shave your armpit hair so you can apply the product to the skin.

2. Make sure your armpits are clean before applying. Take a shower.

3. Only apply product before going to bed. This is when your sweat glands are least

active. Leave on until you wake up and shower in the morning.

This will work for a majority of people and either minimizes by a lot or get rid of their

excessive armpit sweating completely.

Cons:

Some people are very sensitive to the aluminium chloride (the main ingredient in these

sweat blocking products). You may experience redness or a rash. Stop using and go to

a doctor if that happens to you.

Sweat Proof Undershirts

Another option you have when dealing with excessive underarm perspiration is to

purchase an undershirt specifically made for people that suffer from hyperhidrosis.

The Thompson Tee Sweat Proof Undershirt

These undershirts have integrated sweat pads that will absorb your sweat throughout

the day leaving whatever you wear over them completely dry. Pretty handy if you ask

me.

See a Doctor

Many people that suffer from hyperhidrosis never take this option when it’s the

most obvious one.

They try so many products and solutions and give up when none of them work.This in

my opinion is the option most likely to solve your problem with excessive sweating.

Your doctor will be able to provide you with several solutions, the most common being to

prescribe clinical antiperspirants that you can’t but without a prescription.

These are the grand daddy of sweat blockers and they will for sure help you out.

How To Get The Perfect Tan

(Without Risking Skin Cancer)

For many men, tanned skin is sported with confidence and swagger, much like a badge

of honor. And for good reason. For starters, it gives anyone (regardless of shape, age, or

ethnicity) a healthy glow — as if you’ve exercised outdoors or spent a sun-soaked day

on the beach. In addition, it lends guys with less-than-stellar summer bods a more toned

and defined appearance. (It’s the equivalent of wearing head-to-toe black to slim down

your appearance immediately.)

While there’s seemingly endless pros to having tanned skin, achieving it naturally — or

worse, under those relics of the past, tanning beds — is seriously risky business. In fact,

according to a report released by the Skin Cancer Foundation last year, only 51 percent

of American men admitted to using sunscreen in the past year. On top of that, a

whopping 70 percent weren’t even aware of the tell tale signs of skin cancer. Then add

the fact that skin cancer is now far and away the most common cancer in the country

and you’ll get every reason not to bask in the sun’s rays in the name of looking good.

Need we say more?

All this being said, tanning is one of the few things in life where we completely advocate

faking it — with the help of self tanning products, that is. And this is where James Read,

a professional spray tan artist and creator of an eponymous line of self tanning products,

steps into the picture.

Even as a young teenager, Read was smart enough to steer clear of the sun and create

a healthy, sun-kissed look with tanning wipes. As he got older and started developing a

celebrity cult following — Naomi Campbell, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Ellie Goulding,

and Mariah Carey are just a few of his loyal fans — for his handiwork, he decided it was

time to take all his passion and expertise and channel it into his very own brand. Above

all, Read’s mission is to make self tanning at home easy, convenient, and most

important, natural-looking.

In fact, self tanning is considered a secret grooming weapon in the entertainment

industry. (Unless someone is naturally blessed with deep, dark skin, the odds of him

wearing a fake tan on the red carpet or in front of the camera are very, very high.) “Self

tans look so natural now you would not guess someone is wearing a product,” says

Read. “It's about someone saying you look well. Your tan should work as a background

color, and work with your whole look, not overpower it.”

But as with all matters related to grooming, there’s a right and wrong way to use self

tanning products. So here, Read breaks down exactly what you need to do and use to

get the healthiest, most natural-looking tan ever on your face and body – all in the

comfort of your very own home.

For Your Face

Tom Ford Exfoliating Energy Scrub

Best For

: Exfoliating

Consider your skin like a canvas. Before applying any type of color — or in this case,

self-tanner — you want it to be as smooth as possible. And why? Not only will a smooth

surface ensure even application of product, it’ll also help the product penetrate deeper,

for longer lasting results. Use a dab of this invigorating scrub — it’s fortified with crushed

apricot seeds — to gently sweep away rough patches and dull flakes.

$48.00 at Nordstrom.com

Pacific Shaving Company Single Use Shaving Cream Minis

Best For

: Shaving

Unless you’re a dedicated beard or mustache wearer, now’s the time to shave off those

whiskers to ensure your skin is as soft as possible. And these newly-launched,

innovative single-use shaving creams couldn’t be any easier to use. Simply grab a pod,

hold it under running water, and create a rich, emollient lather that’ll enable superior

razor glide — so you’ll be comfortably free of nicks, burn, and bumps.

$8.99 at Amazon.com

Pevonia Collagen Boost Face Balm For Him

Best For

: Moisturizing

To keep your tan looking natural and even, regular moisturizing is a must. This

lightweight, quick-absorbing formula was developed expressly for guys, and revitalizes

even the most tired, worn out complexions with anti-aging antioxidants, collagen, and

vitamins C & E. Use daily before application of self tanner, and especially after

exfoliating and shaving.

$74.00 at Ariva.com

James Read Tan H20 Tan Mist

Best For

: Self-Tanning

This genius spray-on product, infused with skin-healthy rosewater, helps gradually build

a believable glow. On cleansed and hydrated skin, simply spritz on generously and let

dry. Over the next few days, you’ll see a realistic hint of bronzy color enhance your

natural complexion. Read is a fan of this for so many reasons: “It doesn’t highlight

pigmentation or block pores. It’s great for post shave, as it cools down skin. It dries

instantly, and there’s no self-tan smell. And it’s enriched with vitamins and skinnourishing

ingredients. What more can you ask for?”

$23.00 at Amazon.com

For Your Body

Anthony Blue Sea Kelp Body Scrub

Best For

: Exfoliation

Just like your face, your body also needs a solid scrub down before self tanning. This

formula features two physical exfoliants (natural sea salt and micro-sloughing beads) to

buff away even the roughest areas (like your elbows, knees, hands, and feet). Slather on

a generous amount in the shower two to three times weekly for the best results.

$28.00 at Nordstrom.com

Kiehl’s Creme de Corps Light-Weight Body Lotion

Best For

: Moisturizing

Again, your body needs daily hydration, just like your face. And this popular moisturizer

ticks off all the guy-friendly boxes. It’s lightweight and doesn’t leave a greasy residue.

There’s no strong scent to interfere with your favorite cologne. And a small dollop goes a

long way. All you’ll be left with is with clean-feeling, baby soft skin.

$25.00 at Nordstrom.com

James Read Tan Clear Bronzing Mist

Best For

: Self-Tanning

When it comes to self-tanning for men’s bodies, Read recommends a clear (as opposed

to tinted) product, because “a clear or translucent formula will stop the tan from clinging

to hair.” Similar to his James Read Tan H20 Tan Mist, this product is a breeze to use.

“Mist from the neck down, mapping your body in stages so you don't miss bits,” says

Read. “Leave hands and feet until last and then lightly mist in downward strokes.” Don’t

forget to moisturize regularly after this step.

$38.00 at Amazon.com

Sex Tips:

Shortcut To Being Great In Bed

I'm convinced that the reason that so many people are sexually dissatisfied is that there

is so much disinformation about what it takes to be a great lover.

In fact, most people, both men, and women believe that there are one or maybe two

things that, if they could have/do them, they'd be god's gift to the opposite sex.

And what’s funny is…

Most of the time, that "one thing" they think they need isn't

even in the ballpark of what would make them "good in bed," and even further from the

thing they need to become the kind of sexual partner that lovers adore and obsess over.

Examples of what men think would make them great in bed: a bigger dick, six-pack abs,

a secret trick for stimulating her G-spot, clitoris, and anus at the same time…

Examples of what women think would make them great in bed: bigger breasts, six-pack

abs, a secret trick for making her tongue spin around a man's penis at fantastic speed.

Now, of course, there IS someone out there with a massive fetish for every one of these

particular things, but for MOST of us, these things are hardly on the radar. Yes, they

may be very nice little extras that we might undoubtedly enjoy, but we're not going to feel

like we won the sexual jackpot because of any of these secondary qualities.

On the other hand, there are real qualities, in both men and women, that will make them

powerfully desirable and sexy, including things like passion, confidence, openness about

what turns them on…

Today I want to share one cool shortcut that most men and women don’t even consider

when it comes to pleasing their lover– and yet it’s so amazingly powerful, it’s such a

huge turn on, and it’s so sexually rare, that if you do it, it will make sex with you an

absolutely unforgettable experience.

I call it a “shortcut” because anyone who’s willing, can do it right now, tonight, and it

doesn’t take years of practice or exercises.

I'm referring to "presence," and what I mean by that simple word is just the act of being

physical, mentally, and emotionally engaged with your partner during sex. (And I'll tell

you exactly how in just a moment).

Now I said this was a shortcut because anyone can do it, and you can do it RIGHT

NOW, or ANY time you are having sex with your partner…

But I didn’t say it was EASY, and for most people, it’s not. In fact, most people are

virtually never present during sex.

But what does that mean? I mean, if you're having sex with someone, apparently you

are physically in the same space with them, right? If the teacher called attendance in

that bed, and she called your name, you'd say, "present!"

And yet, while they are indeed in the room, most people are mentally and

emotionally checked out.

Where do they go?

Mainly to one of 3 places:

1) They are in fantasy, most frequently fantasizing about a different partner, more

partners, a scene they saw on the internet, a situation they find sexy, or increasingly for

men who watch too much porn, they fantasize about being home with their computer

and watching other people have sex on the screen in order to get off.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with fantasy. Fantasy is great! But it is NOT presence,

and if you find that you can’t get aroused without it, you’ve got some work to do.

2) They are absorbed in sensate focus, entirely focused on the feelings in their genitals

and bodies. This is the recipe for good sex recommended by Masters and Johnson, and

it's not too bad. Indeed, it can be very sensual, and it's a degree more present than

being in fantasy, because at least you're in your body (which is in the actual room), and

responding to what's happening instead of the movie in your mind.

3) The third place that is far too common for people to be during sex is anxiety… the

chattering voice in your head that says you’re not good enough, that you’re doing it

wrong, that you won’t be able to stay hard, or won’t have an orgasm, or that you look

weird, smell weird, or that you don’t know whether or not your partner is enjoying it or

faking it.

This "chattering monkey mind" focus is the worst possible kind of sex, and it's at the

cause of most sexual dissatisfaction. It's no fun for either of you, and it can shake your

confidence inside and outside of the bedroom.

So it turns out that being present is exceptionally challenging for most people.

In fact, according to surveys, MOST people have NEVER had an orgasm while keeping

their eyes open and looking into their lover’s eyes.

For many other people who have fallen into a mental pattern or either fantasy or anxiety

during sex, forcing their mind to do something other than that is challenging.

If you own any of my programs, then you've heard me say many times that taking up

meditation is a good idea, and this is one of the specific reasons why: Meditating is

merely the practice of getting your mind to do what you want it to do instead of just

running wild in its habitual patterns.

Okay, so presence might be challenging, but it IS available to you right now, tonight, and

if you're willing to give it a try, it's a great shortcut to being amazing in the sack.

Here are three easy little tricks and tips for "how to" get yourself present with your

lover…

1) Focus on taste and smell.

Taste and smell are the oldest senses. They developed long before more complicated

things like touch and sound, and waaaaay before the super complex ability to see. Most

single-celled animals can sense chemicals in their environment (which is what taste and

smell is) and either move towards or away from them.

Let yourself get absorbed in your lover's scent and taste, and you'll discover that you can

become quickly engaged in being present with them.

If you're a beginner at this presence thing, I suggest that you wait until you're already

aroused, maybe even during intercourse, and then bring yourself powerfully into

awareness of these first senses.

Let yourself feel into the experience. With modern hygiene and deodorant, you may

experience being unable to smell anything from your lover's skin. Stay with it. Taste.

Tune in to what's more profound, underneath the smell of soap and laundry detergent. If

you can, let it swoon you with pleasure.

And then continue making love to your partner while entirely sensually absorbed

in that sense of them.

2) Eye contact + emotion.

Anytime during sex, from foreplay to oral to intercourse to climax, find your partner’s

gaze and make eye contact.

They may (probably) have their eyes closed. Gently invite or request that they look into

your eyes…

And then share the emotion you feel right at that moment.

This could be a simple smile that says, “this is fun!” or it could be a sigh of sensual

pleasure, it could be an aching gaze of pure love, a lip-bite of pure lust, or even a little

laugh of feeling like a silly, naughty kid caught with your pants down.

You can use words here to say what you feel, or just a sigh, sound, or facial expression.

Just get your feeling across, and then continue or return to making love.

Eye contact, and then share an emotion. See if you can feel your partner's emotion too.

Let it pass between you as an instant, sexy communication.

You don't have to hold it for the entire session. It might be a moment, a few seconds, or

a big minute. You might find it threatening, beautiful, or hypnotic… but you'll have made

real contact.

3) Breath your lover

This is one of my favorites. When you do it, it’s just so amazingly… present!

Here’s how it’s done:

When you are making love to your partner move your face right beside or in front of

his/hers. The most natural place to transition to this is while kissing. (In fact, kissing is a

great place to be present, but it's also easy to kiss while being in fantasy or sensate

focus).

Then, when your partner exhales, ***especially when he/she moans, gasps, or sighs

with pleasure, inhale they exhale into your mouth.

You don't have to have a seal around their face like a scuba mask, you can have your

mouth against his/hers, or you can be several inches away, feel yourself "catching" your

lovers breath and taking it in.

You'll begin by simply noticing when they are exhaling and catching it. Then you can

intensify the game by feeling for when he/she is going to sigh or moan (or even scream

out!) in pleasure and inhaling their passion into your body.

This turns your focus powerfully onto being present with your lover's pleasure and

creates an intense, passionate, and highly present feeling for both of you.

You can also hold back your own (authentically felt) moan of pleasure until you see that

your partner is about inhaling, hold your mouth close to his/hers, and breath your

pleasure into their inhale.

You’ll light up every cell of their body.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

You don't have to do ANY of these little tricks the entire time. In fact, it will likely become

weird and self-conscious if you try to. This is just the sugar you put into the dough that

turns it from plain bread into a delicious cake, or the spice that you add that turns bland,

boiled food into a hot, exotic dish that your taste buds will never forget.

And if you want a master tip for presence, then allow yourself to be sensitive to exactly

how long you ought to continue any one of these techniques. Let the moment decision.

Be present to when is the perfect time to transition into or out of any of these techniques.

Once you are doing that, you are really, truly present with your lover.

This indeed is a fantastic shortcut to being an entirely new experience for your partner

during sex, because not .1% of people out there are even aware of a sexual presence,

much less trying to make it happen.

I would love to hear about your success stories, experiences (many people have

experienced this during a “best sex of my life” experience, if even briefly– and elusively

have not been able to re-experience it because they didn’t understand what it was that

they were feeling), or of course any questions or comments below.

The Master Key To Sexual Tension

The mating dance of humans is a complex psycho-emotional game that determines who

is going to mate with whom… and who isn't?

Just like "the birds and the bees" (and all of the other sexually reproducing animals),

there's a biological dance that we play out for partner selection, which creates attraction,

sexual arousal, mating, and bonding.

Most men don't understand that there is a dance happening at all. They don't even hear

the music, much less know the steps. They are disconnected from their instincts by

society, they have been un-trained by porn and a lack of role models to want what they

want, and they leave it to luck (at best) and trickery (at worst) to get what they want.

This cheats them out of a lot of fun, a lot of sex, happy and sexually charged long-term

relationships, and self-esteem.

The drumbeat that carries the rhythm for the mating dance is SEXUAL TENSION.

And just like learning to dance, when you first start out, you step on your partner's toes a

lot until you learn how to listen for the beat, and eventually keep time to that beat with

your body.

The energy of sexual tension is just like that. You have to listen for it, you have to allow

yourself to FEEL it, and then you discover that "dancing" to it is not only as secure as

moving your feet to the rhythm but that you don't have to be great at it to have fun with

your partner.

The #1 big killer for men when it comes to learning how to play with sexual tension and

getting women attracted and sexually aroused (whether it’s that gorgeous woman that

just walked past you in the produce section of Whole Foods or your wife while you’re

cleaning the dinner dishes together in the kitchen)… is FEAR.

Most men are quite uncomfortable with sexual tension, they don’t know what to do with

it, they don’t know how to handle it, and so they fear it. And then, because they fear it,

they find a way to GET RID OF IT.

If the game of sexual tension was actual dancing, then when a beautiful, sexy woman

comes dancing over, her hips swaying, her hair swinging, her chest heaving… most men

freak out, grab the remote, and turn the music OFF… and then giggle sheepishly, having

no idea what to do next.

Men want pick-up lines precisely because they are so nervous when they feel the sexual

tension in their body. They don't know how to relax and enjoy that tension. They don't

know how to listen to it. They want something to cover it up with.

The classic way that men "turn off the music" and dump the sexual tension out of

interaction is when they blurt out their attraction:

"Wow, you are so beautiful! I saw you standing over there, and I just had to take a

chance and come over and introduce myself!"

It's a relief to get the sexual tension out of yourself that way and dump it into space

between you, but it's disappointing for the woman because you just killed the game for

her.

Her sexual attractiveness (the way she looks, her body, her makeup, the clothing she is

wearing, the way she is standing, her smile and laugh, her too-cool-for-school pout–

EVERYTHING she is doing to show herself off) is like her pair of aces (or even the

straight flush) that she is holding in her hand…

And when you walk over and "call" her hand, and she has to drop the cards on the table,

the game is over. And if you don't look like Orlando Bloom, then there's very little else for

her to do but say, "thank you for the compliment," and go back to the conversation with

her friends.

Men also dump the sexual tension by just staring and then quickly looking down when

she catches you staring. Ouch. Game over.

Men also dump sexual tension by being loud and obnoxious.

Here's a big one– men dump sexual tension by making jokes about it. The dirty joke is

funny precisely because of our discomfort with sexual energy in front of others.

And men dump sexual tension by merely chickening out and deciding not to go after her

at all (disappointing, but also, whew, what a relief to get that uncomfortable sexual

tension out of your body).

And listen, man, I've done EVERY ONE of those things.

By the way, all of these things exist in long-term romantic relationships too:

Men dump the sexual tension by blurting (hey, are you in the mood to do it tonight?), by

being obnoxious (are you going to go OUT looking like that?), by making jokes, by

deciding to just not go for it because her rejection of his sexual advances hurts his

feelings, etc.

You surrender all of your power when you dump the sexual tension, AND all of her

power too. You steal all of her fun, and play, and desire to bring her best to impress the

man that she wants to win.

The master key to learning how to do this dance in a way that amps up sexual attraction

and makes her start thinking about you as a possible mate is to learn how to contain

(and enjoy) your sexual energy in the presence of a woman you are attracted to.

Don't dump it, don't run from it, and don't try to suppress it, but allow yourself to

feel it.

Yes, your heart might be racing, you might feel a little squirt of adrenaline, maybe your

palms get a little damp… and these things also happen during fear, so it's easy to

associate it with discomfort… but notice that it's NOT discomforting necessarily. Use the

old yoga trick of breathing slowly and deeply into your belly, and relax, and see if you

can enjoy it.

The good news is that if you say, "Hi, my name is Alex" (though I recommend using your

name), and you LET YOURSELF FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION without freaking out,

without dropping eye contact to diffuse it, without nervously grinning and joking… then

what happens is, she'll feel the sexual tension in her body too.

Just relax and feel that interplay and see what she says. Listen and feel, and don't worry

too much about what you say back. Just know if you can enjoy the wave without freaking

out.

Practice that and only that (with your romantic partner or with any woman you are

interested in), and you will notice a significant shift in the way that women treat you.

Once you can feel the sexual tension without dumping it, it's like being able to hear the

beat of the music. Now you can start to dance.

“Dancing,” in this case, is playing with the sexual tension and letting it build and fade,

build and fade, and begin mastering that interplay.

To mix in another metaphor, it's like feeling the tension in a fishing line– too much and

the line will break, too little and the hook can come free, or the cord gets tangled. And

just like that fishing line, you can become sensitive to the feeling of it.

I just did a webinar for the men on "how women test men," and this fits right into that part

of male/female interaction. Women test men when they feel sexual tension to see if he

can hold the power of the emotion, to see if he is faking it or if he is capable of carrying

the line with her.

When you can, her attraction for you is immediate and automatic. Even if you're not her

type, yet if she has good reason to decide not to act on it, she's going to feel it (just in

the same way that you can't stop feeling sexual attraction for a woman that you're

attracted to either).

Imagine you are ending the first date with a woman, and things went quite well. You walk

her back to her door– and instead of diving in and trying to make out with her, or trying to

get invited inside– you just give her one, gentle kiss and say with a knowing smile, "This

was fun, maybe we'll do it again some time," and then leave.

The magic of this is that the "maybe" will drive her sexual tension through the roof as

she wonders whether or not you like her as much as she thought you did. She's going to

be very eager to see you for that second date, and she’s going to have a ton of

enjoyment, stewing in that sexual tension in between.

Now importantly Christian came up with this little nugget because it’s something he did

once spontaneously and it worked like crazy.

But what I want you to get is not just that it worked like crazy, but why it came up

spontaneously for him.

And the reason is that he was having so much fun dancing with her sexual tension

the whole night that it was the natural thing to do. He might have tried for sex… but at

that moment, he was having so much fun with the tease and counter-tease, with the

surfing of the sexual tension (he calls it "the romantic obsession plot"), that it was more a

more evident and pleasurable choice at the moment to delay the sex, and keep the

sexual tension going.

I know Christian well, and though I never asked him about it, I'm confident that he didn't

do it to be "manipulative," or something pre-meditated like that. He was having fun. And

so was she.

Getting back to that “master key” I was talking about: When you are attracted to a

woman, and she’s just so beautiful and intimidating that you can’t contain yourself and

stay cool, it is a reliable, biological sign to her that you probably aren't a suitable mate for

her. So she passes you over.

Some guys will try to fake disinterest and remain aloof and unimpressed, and of course,

that can sometimes work as a "trick," but it's neither authentic nor reliable. In fact, it's

okay to be impressed, to let her feel your attraction for her, AND remain able to function

and deal with that sexual tension and emotional energy in your body.

A woman doesn't want a man who is over-awed by her and can't manage to keep his

shit together. That's how she feels when you start puffing up, bragging, complimenting

too much, offering too much, trying to impress her, trying to play it too cold, or trying to

suck up to win her favor.

Train yourself to enjoy the feeling of attraction, to become comfortable with the feelings

of appeal, the butterflies– recognize the aliveness in those feelings, smile, and enjoy

her company and the tension that lives and breaths and grows in the space between

you.

Don’t cheat her, or yourself, out of one of the great pleasures of being a human.

How To Make “Friends With Benefits”

The sexual landscape has gotten more interesting, more free, and more complicated,

and there are more socially acceptable choices for having a sexual relationship than

ever before.

I currently know two "groups" who are living completely openly as "3 or more"

relationships. One of them is a complex arrangement of 5 individuals, all of whom feel

like "family" together, all have multiple lovers inside of the group (though not everyone is

romantically/sexually attached to everyone else), and they are all in a committed

relationship to the group…

Openly and publicly… they do not hide their family of choice arrangements.

On the other extreme, I have friends (both male and female) who have multiple "booty

call" partners or "fuck buddies," but have no romantic or emotional commitments to

anybody.

(On a third extreme, of course, I know some voluntary celibates too, but this is a blog

about sex after all).

And, in case you're only interested in the old-fashioned "vanilla" relationship —

committed to just one person (my personal favorite) — don't fret, because I don't think

that's going to go away, and there are plenty of people from both sexes who are still

interested in pursuing that particular kind of devotion.

I meet a lot of both men and women who are interested in experimenting with having

more sexual availability in their lives, especially when in between relationships, by

cultivating “fuck buddies” and “friends with benefits”, but are frustrated by not knowing

how to comfortably get into those kinds of relationships, or how to confidently ask for

what they want.

I got this question recently in an email from my reader Tony, which is the subject

of this article…

“Do you have any advice on moving a friendship into, for example, a friends with benefits

situation? It seems hard to change your role with somebody once it’s established.”

The reason that it SEEMS hard to change your role with somebody once it's established

is that changing anything is always harder than leaving everything the way it is… doing

something is harder than doing nothing.

The real issues here are that you feel the sense of risk with someone you already know

because there is the possibility of rejection, and that rejection is shared with a friend, and

potentially if they are part of the rest of your social group, shared with them too.

And that feels like it could be humiliating.

And the compounding issue is that she, also being a human, is probably too insecure

about these issues, and has similar fears around having her sexuality rejected "publicly"

inside of her social circle.

The thing that could make this simple, however, is to understand that those fears are

entirely delusional. Natural… but delusional.

If you have a sincere belief that sex is fantastic and everyone ought to love it, and if you

are confident that YOUR sexuality is natural, and an attractively masculine characteristic

(or feminine characteristic, if you are a woman reading this), then it's easy and

comfortable to talk about adding "benefits" or sex to the relationship — regardless of

whether it's early or late in the friendship.

If she (or he) rejects the idea, it's not embarrassing because if you're confident in your

sexuality and believe it's right, ethical, and natural, then you don't require another

person's external acceptance or validation to feel that.

If you say, "I like pizza," and your friend says, "ew, I hate pizza," you don't feel

embarrassed by that. Because you KNOW pizza is excellent!

Of course, it may be disappointing, you wanted something and didn't get it, but it does

not need to be humiliating or frightening or "hard."

And once you understand and work towards achieving this mindset, it also becomes

MUCH EASIER FOR YOUR FRIEND TO ACCEPT the offer and enjoy those benefits

with you.

The key here is that there is no way for her to “lose” with you.

If she’s not interested in that sort of thing, it won’t cost her your attention, the enjoyment

of your interactions, or anything else. You won’t be hurt, and you won’t act weird, and

the pressure is off.

That makes it super comfortable for her to think about it, and not have to make a snap

decision or feel threatened by the situation.

Just like asking if someone if they want pizza generally doesn’t end a conversation if

they don’t.

The same thing is exact of women you'd like to have benefits with.

They may be thinking the very same thing that you are, and are also frustrated by the

(entirely false) belief that it's hard to change your role once it's been established.

Once you get completely comfortable and confident with your desires in your mind, you

can get more flirty slowly, and slowly introduce sexual innuendo and your sexual desires

into conversations (with comfortable confidence about your sexuality)… or you can have

a straight up talk about it, expressing your wishes and talking through exactly what you

want.

And that brings me to the next important point about having “friends with

benefits”…

I draw a strong distinction between “booty calls” and “friends with benefits,” and the

distinction is the friendship.

There’s nothing wrong with having a “booty call” relationship with someone you have

physical chemistry with, fun with, but no time or inclination to have anything else with, if

you both agree and enjoy that situation.

But friendship is something different, and it's something valuable, and while many things

can happen in life that makes a friendship grow or diminish, we all recognize that it's

usually worth some effort to protect our associations.

There is no good reason why sex itself ought to present an issue for your

friendship, but…

When sex enters the equation, the possibility of emotional entanglement is very, very

real, and one of you may begin to want some other level of involvement yet. And, not to

be Captain Obvious here, but if one of you becomes more emotionally involved in

creating a more committed sexual relationship than the other, the real and potentially

complex emotional problems could arise in your friendship.

While there is no absolute way to avoid this, it is important when you enter into this kind

of thing with a good friend, that you establish and agree to precisely what the "rules" are

going to be for the "benefits" part of the relationship, and then you need to do the best

you can to each accurately access whether or not you can abide by those rules.

Naturally, those rules will be subject to change as you move forward. You could quite

quickly end up dropping the sex from the friendship or end up happily married. The

future is notoriously difficult to predict!

And finally, as you enter this kind of relationship, it's famous and extremely POWERFUL,

to make a strong internal commitment to the highest good for your friend.

In other words, if she ultimately hopes for a committed relationship in her life, you should

be doing your best to prepare her and help her set the highest standards for that

relationship, and you should be her biggest cheerleader when the time comes to bow out

so that she can fully pursue her new relationship without you as a distraction.

It's my perspective that bringing up the truth of your sexual desire is not going to hurt

your friendship with anyone, as long as you are a grown-up, and you know that you are

capable of not making her feel weird about it: Don't pout and be bitchy if she's not

interested, and don't be funny and clingy if she is.

Once your beliefs and confidence line up, she'll feel the truth of that and then you can

make a choice together about whether or not to add "benefits" the friendship while doing

your best to protect the association and holding each other's highest good in your hearts.

Relationship Advice

Never Compromise With A Woman!

Whether you’re a man or a woman reading this, listen up:

Real men don’t make compromises with women.

If you want a woman's respect, if you want her to see you as a masculine "real man,"

then stop being a wimp, backing down, and making compromises.

Okay, okay, okay, maybe the title of this post was a little too loud. Perhaps "Never" is too

loud a word. Sometimes, sure, in some rare circumstances when there is no choice, you

may have to compromise.

But the vast majority of the time, when you compromise, it’s because you were too

emotionally and intellectually WEAK and LAZY, or just plain too INSECURE to do the

right thing…

And if you thought I was going to say that doing the right thing means sticking to your

guns and not backing down…

No, no, NO! I’m not telling you to be an inflexible jerk…

I’m talking about something completely different (and much better).

See, when you make a compromise, you BOTH lose. Nobody got what they wanted, and

both of you have some little reason to start feeling resentment. You begin to think: "Life

IS easier when you're single and don't have to make deals for what you want."

What’s fun about that?

So if you are in a relationship, let’s look at a better way so that you ALWAYS get exactly

what you want, and YOU ALWAYS WIN.

(Oh, and ladies, this is for you too: Never compromise with a man!)

I’m going to offer you 2 MUCH BETTER alternatives to the lowly compromise.

The first one is called “Going Meta”….

When you and your lover want different things, take the time, effort, and energy to figure

out the “bigger picture” of why you want what you want.

What is it you would GET if you got it your way (that you wouldn’t get if you did it her/his

way)?

In NLP they call this "chunking up." I call it looking at the "meta-perspective" or the

bigger picture.

Here’s an example…

You want to go out and party, and she wants to stay home and cuddle.

The compromise might be that we stay in tonight and go out tomorrow. Or you stay in,

but invite friends over.

Looking at the meta perspective, or figuring out the bigger picture of why you want what

you want, maybe you discover something like this:

You feel like you've been trapped inside all day and need to get out of the apartment.

She craves romantic connection and togetherness time.

Once you know that, you might realize that it’s easy for both of you to get exactly what

you want by going out to a cozy wine-bar and snuggling in a booth, or maybe it would

feel even better for both of you to take a long walk outside holding hands.

Let’s look at it another way… maybe when you “chunk up” and take the bigger

perspective you discover…

You want to go out to spend time with friends and do some socializing.

She wants to stay in because she doesn’t feel like getting dressed up and putting on

heels and crap.

Once you know that, you might realize that it would be way more fun for both of you to

go to a ball-game or go bowling, and both get exactly what you most want.

Now look, I understand that of course, this isn't going to work for every single situation to

find what you both want, but just the willingness to more deeply explore yourself and

your desires, and to more deeply explore your lover and her/his passions, is itself a BIG

WIN.

In fact, you'll feel more intimately connected and gain a lot of new insights about what

lights up your partner, about what they most want and need from the relationship, and

how to show up in ways that delight them.

The process becomes fun, and you might even look forward to working through

disagreements where previously you had felt trapped by the dull compromise.

But again, this won't work every time, and no matter how much you "chunk up," and no

matter how many times you look at the more significant and bigger and bigger picture of

what each of you wants, you may find it hard to find common ground.

So I offer this EVEN BETTER solution that crushes compromise:

Offer up your agreement as a GIFT to your lover.

If you've ever purchased an exquisite gift for someone you love, something you knew

that they would enjoy, then you already know what a fantastic PLEASURE that is.

I talk about this with sex a lot. We all have a powerful urge to make OUR PARTNER

experience great pleasure, huge orgasms. It's often more fun to GIVE your partner a

great experience than to focus on your satisfaction.

And this is the way we humans are wired. It's FUN to give a wonderful gift and watch

someone we love to light up with appreciation and gratitude and enjoyment.

When you frame your agreement as an opportunity to give a wonderful GIFT, rather than

as giving something up that you wanted, you get to experience massive pleasure at

doing it her/his way!

In fact, you may even find that it’s MORE enjoyable to give the gift than it would have

been to do things your way.

But BE CAREFUL! Because there are two evil obstacles that you MUST AVOID if you

want to do this right…

The first obstacle is the "martyr effect" and finding yourselves competing for points on

who gets to be the "good person" by giving up what they wanted.

You end up trading in one argument (Let's do it MY way/No, let's do it MY way!) for a

different discussion (Let's do it YOUR way/No, let's do it YOUR way!).

This arises from feelings of guilt around receiving and being miserly around giving freely.

But if you practice doing this the right way, you'll strengthen your relationship with your

lover, and with yourself, in ways, you can't even imagine.

The big move here is to recognize that giving your partner what they want in the

disagreement is a beautiful, fun, and enjoyable gift.

And that receiving your partner's agreement with open gratitude and joy MAKES it fun

and enjoyable for both of you.

You’ve got to get the receiving end of it right to honor your partner for their gift and make

them feel loved and appreciated.

Now the second evil obstacle is falling into a pattern of “taking turns” with who gets to

have their way.

In case you didn’t notice, taking turns getting your way is nothing more than a

compromise.

It's boring, and it makes you acutely feel the times when it's not your turn, and you don't

get to have your way.

DO NOT KEEP SCORE.

If you allow the gift to bubble up from inside of you as a spontaneous act of pleasurable

(maybe even exciting!) generosity, then you’ll enjoy doing things Her/His way so much

that in your memory of it, you’ll feel like you got to have things exactly the way you

wanted them in the first place.

When your partner is generous with their enjoyment of your gift, and you offer up your

contribution as a pure expression of your love, as an opportunity to make your partner

feel cherished, you'll welcome disagreements as an opportunity to demonstrate the truth

of your love for each other.

Why would you ever resort to something as meager and empty of meaning as a

compromise when you could have the pleasurable feast of expressing the depth of your

love in the form of a beautifully presented and adoringly received GIFT?

The Big Problem With Pretty Girls

Over there… There's that one smokin' hot chick in the room (it doesn't matter if it's a bar,

a party, a classroom, an office…) It's impossible not to NOTICE her.

A certain amount of energy is humming in your brain and your body — because of

her.

Deep rabbit hole alert: This is going to get controversial…

Whether you are male or female reading this: That “smokin’ hot chick” that I’m talking

about — just sitting in your chair and thinking about her right now, just the fact that I’m

writing about her — is bringing up some emotions for you.

Physical beauty is a broad and fascinating subject. And we humans are powerfully

affected by it.

I don't know how much of it is genetic and how much of it is the social status that our

(U.S.) culture places upon it, but the simple fact is, beauty is not without its serious

problems.

I could write a book on the difficult issues and challenges it raises for the woman (or

even a very young girl) who possesses remarkable physical beauty — it will be nearly

impossible for her entire life not to get caught up the expectations, positive and negative,

from the rest of us– but in this post I'm not talking about her issues… I'm going to talk

about the problem it raises for the rest of us.

Recently I wrote a review about a program that a close friend of mine created for "how to

get a girlfriend," and in my review I mentioned that he has a lovely girlfriend (she's a

professional model in fact), and further, the sales copy of his program also talks about

how he dated "all of these beautiful women and models" before meeting his current

girlfriend, as way to convince men they should trust him and buy his program. (As a side

note, because he's a friend and I don't want it to be misinterpreted, it's entirely accurate).

I got several emails from female readers saying that they were disappointed that I wrote

the review the way I did and that I was furthering the idea that men only wanted

"beautiful" women as girlfriends.

They complained about how every "average" or even "ugly" guy, spends his days and

nights trying to figure out how to land that smokin' hot chick… even if it means that he

ends up being lonely and frustrated… when there was plenty of "average" looking

women that would be delighted to have a cute boyfriend.

About 25 years ago a friend of mine from Europe (herself, as it happens, a smokin’ hot

chick) said to me, with a tear in her eye: “It must be just awful to be an unattractive

woman in the United States.”

Back in her Scandinavian country, there was no social stigma for average looking people

to date and fall in love with each other, or anyone else. "Looks" in general were not as

highly regarded, and being unattractive was no indication of your social value, and did

not automatically mean that it would be difficult for you to find a date or a mate.

I haven't spoken to her about it in a while, but I doubt that it's true anymore, because the

U.S. is a monster at exporting our culture through television and movies, and I have

many readers in Europe–and based on their emails, they have fallen victim to the mania

around physical beauty.

The smokin’ hot chick: Women are jealous of her and resent her, and men want her and

hold a grudge against her when they can’t have her. (I’m not talking about YOU of

course!) but the bottom line is that she causes a lot of problems for the rest of us.

I thought about these emails that I was getting from women, and how unfair it is that this

stereotype exists and that our culture reinforces the idea that every man harbors this

ultimate desire to one day get the hot chick… even if it means that he's stuck alone if he

can't be with one.

Said another way: We don’t CHOOSE who we’re attracted to. You can’t talk a woman

into being attracted to you. If she’s not sexually attracted to you, you can buy her drinks

and flowers and take her on expensive dates, and you can logically explain all day why

you are such good husband-material, but none of that is ever going to change her

physical response to you.

She might think you’re a nice guy and WISH that she was attracted to you, but it’s

not a choice.

This is equally true for women. It's not fair, but "attraction is not a choice." A man is

either attracted to you, or he's not, and there are a tiny number women out there that

soak up most of the male attention.

It's also known (and probably biologically wired), that while women are attracted to

physically good-looking men, it is less important to them than many other factors,

whereas men are much more attached to physical beauty as an attraction trigger.

Here’s the other side though:

While it's true that gorgeous women have more "universal appeal" that nearly every man

finds desirable– it's also true that every man also has a unique and personal set of

physical attributes that he finds particularly attractive…

There are many women out there that are incredibly polarizing: Some men find them

irresistible while other men have no interest in them.

Taking this further, there are also women that, PHYSICALLY, are “just right” for a subset

of men, even though they may not be that attractive to the general population of men.

Now I emphasized “physically” in all capital letters above, because there are an entire

series of other, non-physical female attributes that males find sexually attractive:

A bright smile, a flirty sense of humor, feminine mannerisms, and an innocent (or

sometimes a “bad girl”) nature are some big ones.

But like physical attributes where some men like big breasts but many prefer small,

these characteristics are very particular for particular men.

Some men love jaded and sexually aggressive women, while others have a thing for the

girl next door, or hippie chicks, or glam girls, or biker babes.

Based on this, there should be a guy for every girl and a girl for every guy.

And yet, this is not the case.

Compared with generations past we live in a world where many more men and women

than ever before are lonely and struggle to find sex, intimacy, and partnership.

The reason for this is the critical social status we have placed on physical beauty as a

society, and fetishization of "hypergamy."

Hypergamy means "marrying above your social class," like the wealthy debutante falling

for the farm boy or Cinderella marrying the prince.

Today "hypergamy" is becoming a common term of derision towards women who will

only date men with money and social status. A large number of (bitter, disappointed,

heartbroken, and angry) men who have been sexually unsuccessful use it as an excuse

for misogyny because of their belief that MOST women (if not all) will gladly give up love,

cheat on their man, or dump him in exchange for a man of higher social status.

This belief about women has become incredibly popular in recent years… which is

frustratingly lousy news for men, women, and society as a whole– because, not only are

women who pursue hypergamy in this way vanishingly small in number, but it turns out

that the OPPOSITE is exact:

It is MEN who are obsessively hypergamous.

And as my friend from Europe observed many years ago, our culture has granted

physical beauty the final social status.

Models are superstars.

A man who dates Victoria's Secret model is "cooler" (has higher social status) than

famous athletes, world leaders, or even billionaires. (Though plenty of men would say

they'd rather be a billionaire or renowned athlete because it would allow them to GET the

super-model girlfriend).

It's interesting to note that the highest status men (billionaires, world leaders, etc.) are far

more likely than other men to be comfortable dating ordinary looking women. They

already have status.

It’s a difficult thing to NOTICE, much less to unwire, but if you are a single man reading

this you might be able to reflect that (if you are like most men in our society), when you

are talking to a woman socially, you might become aware that you are not only

considering whether YOU feel physical attraction for her, but how dating her would play

to your buddies.

Could you justify her level of looks and cool to your friends?

You might notice thinking about whether other men would consider you cooler or less

cool if they saw you with her…

This is not exclusive to the men, of course… this internal conversation around what your

friends and peers will think if you date this person and show up to a party with him/her.

If you catch yourself in the act, it's a BIG OPPORTUNITY to grow into greater freedom,

self-expression, and happiness, by shaking loose the shackles of cultural programming,

listening to your body, and following only your own pure heart.

LEADERSHIP:

Peter’s Pan

Everyone has seen the movie or the play, Peter Pan. What we see is a boy who, for

whatever reason, has decided that he never wants to grow up, that he wants to shirk his

responsibility and stay in Neverland while he jokes, plays, and engages in practical jokes

on the Hook. We realize this is a fictional work, but if we look around in society, it's not

all that far off from what we see in a lot of men.

I'll give you a prime example. Just the other day, there was a piece I read about a 30-

year old man who had taken his parents to court because his parents were "evicting"

him from their house. How pathetic is this? Maybe there's something wrong with this guy

(apparently there's something wrong with this guy). But it's incredible that his thought

process is to fight so hard to stay at home. I can't help, but there's something seriously

wrong with him. But in addition to that, I can't help but think there's something wrong with

the parents. How was this guy raised? How was he fathered?

When I was done with high school, we went on our senior trip. The day I got home – the

very next day – I moved out. It wasn't' because I had anything against my mother but

because it was time. It was time to leave the nest. I see so many boys who are more

concerned with staying at home than experiencing life. They're more concerned with not

having bills and upholding their responsibilities. They're more concerned with Call of

Duty or Fortnite (or whatever the game is that they're playing). They're shirking their

responsibilities. They don't have jobs. And, their parents are enabling them actually to do

this. And we question why we're having problems with our boys turning into men. This is

the failure to launch syndrome – the rise of the Peter Pans.

The good news is that there are some solutions to this. If you find yourself in a position

where you're a boy or a male who wants to grow up but can't figure out how to do it, this

article will provide the solution. I see so many men who use the excuse of not having a

father figure in their life to justify their lack of performance as men. I can't believe that it

needs to be addressed, but it indeed does. So, let's talk about this today.

If you're experiencing this and you're nervous about launching, I'm going to share some

ideas. But, I'm also going share some insights for those of us who are fathers –

someone who is responsible for raising up boys in a way where they want to go out into

society and produce, as opposed to consuming. And that's the difference between a boy

and a man. A boy drinks. That's all he does. Sure, men can absorb as well, but they also

produce. And hopefully, they are providing significantly more than they consume. You

can see if that's not the case, which we'd have a real problem.

For example, I look at my boys and daughter. They consume resources. That's not bad,

that's what they do. My goal as a parent, however, is to help them stand on their own

two feet. Too many parents these days are doing everything for their children thinking

that somehow they're giving their children a leg up when they do everything for them.

They're not. They're crippling their children. They're hindering their ability to learn and to

develop the strength they need to be successful.

Take an infant for example: if you carry that infant everywhere, that child will never

develop the physical leg strength to be able to walk. The same holds true when it comes

to their mental and emotional capacity as well. We can see boys and girls who may have

developed physically, but mentally and emotionally, are a complete wreck because

they've never had to engage and establish any endurance and grit.

Growing Up is Not Bad

We have got to understand that growing up is not a bad thing. So many people believe

that, if they grow up they’ll have too many burdens, responsibilities, issues, struggles,

trials, and challenges. Yes, that is true. You will have those things, but there are also so

many blessings that come from those situations.

As I've grown up, I've met my wife, brought children into this world, started businesses,

been on some fantastic vacations, and had numerous beautiful experiences. It's

incredible. To have meaningful and significant experiences in your life, you are going to

have to experience some hardships. That's part of the deal. You cannot have one

without the other. And anytime an individual tries to get something for nothing, and they

rob themselves of developing their talents, gifts, and abilities.

Growing up and accepting responsibility and accountability for your own life is not a bad

thing. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a great thing. There are so many benefits and rewards

that come from taking responsibility for your life.

No One Owes You Anything

Nobody is here to serve you and be at your beck and call. Nobody is here to give you

everything that you think you deserve. There’s no family member, no business, no

government entity, no non-profit organization that owes you a thing.

So many people believe that they are entitled to something just because they're a

human being, just because air is coursing through their lungs. I got news for you, and if

that's what you believe, you are significantly playing at a degree less than you are

capable of. When you realize that nobody owes you a thing and, you fully internalize

that, you give yourself the power to earn everything you desire.

You deserve everything you currently you have. If you have wealth, abundance, and

prosperity in your life, you deserve that. If you don't, it's because you deserve that level

of wealth, or success, or abundance, or lack thereof.

Now, some people hear that and think, "Well, what about people who can't? And, what

about those who are disabled?" I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about those who

are fully capable of providing their way.

Again, you are not entitled to anything. But, that’s okay. Because once you accept

responsibility, you can go out and earn it, which is significantly more rewarding.

Spend More Time with Men, Not Boys

If you’re telling yourself, “I just don’t know how to step up as a man,” you need to stop

spending time with boys. Find a way to spend time with men. If you surround yourself

with people who don’t take accountability and responsibility for their life, I’d have you

consider that’s probably the way you’re going to turn out as well. You are going to be just

like that.

Now, on the other hand, if you find men to surround yourself with (co-workers,

colleagues, friends, parents, brothers, and people who are doing big things in their life),

that will inevitably wear off on you. You will strive to be more like those individuals.

If you strive to spend time with genuine men, you’re going to find people who lift you up,

motivate you, inspire you, and give you a kick in the pants that you need. You’re going

rise up to the challenge.

Don't look for the access path. Don't search for the path of least resistance. That's what

boys do. Men, however, know life is a challenge. They rise to that challenge because

they've realized the rewards and the benefits on the other side of that trial and obstacle

are well worth the effort.

Find Meaningful Purpose

It’s not enough to have trivial pursuits in your life. What’s driving you? What's motivating

you? How big and audacious are those goals? If you don't have goals or something

significant to pursue, it's likely you're not going to rise and become the man that you

were meant to be, and you're going to play at a level far less than you're capable of. If

nothing is pushing and pulling you, driving and motivating you, sit down and figure out

exactly what you want. You don't have to have this completely figured out, and it's likely

going to change over time so be patient with yourself.

I ask you, "What do you want," and you can't answer that question, there's a real

problem but, if I ask you, "What is it that you want out of life," and you can look me in the

eye and say, “this is exactly what I want. Here is the job I want to have. Here are the

experiences I want to pursue. Here are the changes I want to make,” you’re well on your

way to becoming a man.

Now, let's talk about the second component I wanted to address: us as father figures. It's

not just dads I'm talking about, but community leaders, mentors, business owners,

employers, etc. We have a responsibility to raise the next generation. We're going to ask

that they lead us at some point. We ought to make sure we're adequately preparing

them to drive.

Do Not Allow Our Children to be Raised by Women Exclusively

Women bring something beautiful to the environment. My wife does a fantastic job in

fulfilling her responsibilities as a mother. She is compassionate, empathetic, supportive,

and loving. I'm not suggesting men can't exhibit those traits as well, but women are

uniquely equipped to thrive in those ways. And, that's much needed in society.

But, if you look at the rate of fatherless homes and you look at the price of female versus

male school teachers, it's very apparent that a large percentage of our population is

being raised in the home and the school system without a male figure in their life.

Boys Need to be Challenged

Why is that a problem? Among other reasons, these boys are not being challenged.

They're not being pushed. They're not standing face-to-face with another man who is

forcing him, who's driving him to be better, who's course-correcting along the way.

We recognize this in the very soft, effeminate trend in our boys who are not rising to the

challenge of being a man. That statement is going to fire a lot of people up. I'm not

discounting at all what women bring into a loving household and society in general. What

I am saying is that both the masculine and the feminine energy are needed. If all these

boys are receiving is female energy, I don't think it should be any surprise that they don't

learn how to be men.

My mother raised me primarily on her own. But, if you were to ask her if she equipped to

give me everything I needed as a boy learning how to be a man, she would be the first to

tell you that she did not. She was not equipped with everything she needed which is why

she got me involved in competitive sports. I needed a physical, mental, emotional

challenge. I needed other men to stand with. I needed to disciplined by other men. I

needed to be course-corrected by other men who weren’t afraid to have those

challenging conversations, get in my face, and tell me when I was doing wrong and

when I was doing right.

There Must be Consequences

Please understand me. There have to be consequences for our decisions, both positive

and negative. When our children make good choices, we should reward them. I'm not

saying gift them things. I'm assuming we encourage them with a simple comment or a

compliment. Every time a child does something right works hard, exhibits discipline

shows commitment, overcomes a trial, or does something above and beyond what they

are called to do, we ought to encourage that.

When a child does something wrong, gets into trouble, and doesn't do what he or she is

supposed to do, then we as parents have to, at times, be the deliverer of the

consequences. That's not fun. Nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to see their child

suffer. I don't want to look at my boys, and my little girl goes through challenges. But, I

would rather have them go through these types of problems in a controlled environment

under my watchful eye than run loose and do who knows what without any

consequences or thought about the future and how it might impact them.

That is my job as a father: to introduce struggle, challenge, adversity, and trials. And,

equip my children with the tools to be able to handle those obstacles. These factors,

when not present in the home or young men’s lives, create the kind of situation where a

30-year-old man can go to court and sue his parents because they’re kicking him out of

the house.

It's a small symptom of the underlying problem that is the rise of the Peter Pans in

society. We have to reverse this trend. How do we do it? First and foremost, we stop

living this way ourselves. We take responsibility. When there's an opportunity at work,

we step up to the possibility. We take on the trial. We take on the task. We don't shirk

our responsibilities. We don't take the path of least resistance. We do the hard things

because we realize, although it's hard, there are benefits on the other side of that

problematic challenge and adversity.

Second, we instill the same thing in our boys. We don't coddle them. We don't protect

them. We don't shelter them unnecessarily. We allow them to be introduced to

challenge, trial, adversity, and struggle. We teach them what it means to have a

significant purpose in their lives. We help them deal with the consequences of their

decisions so, when we look back and ask if we did an excellent job as a father, we can

see our boys and girls standing on their own two feet doing what they should be doing

as functioning and contributing members of society.

I wish the answers were easy. They’re certainly not. It’s hard to articulate everything that

should and can be done in a simple Article, but I firmly believe that this is the beginning

of the solution to the rise of the Peter Pans.

Do not allow yourself to be fooled into thinking that the path of least resistance is the

path that we are destined to take as men. It's not. We should be looking for the harder

way – the more challenging route. Afterall, the view on the other side of that is

significantly more rewarding than playing it safe and taking it easy.

How we Stop School Shootings?...Like this

Every time we turn around it seems like there's yet another school shooting. And, from

what I can see, we're addressing this from a very surface-level perspective. This is not

about gun control. This is not about gun regulation. In fact, I don't even believe it's

entirely a gun problem. I think it's a symptom of the problem but not the problem.

It has to do with the young men who are creating these situations. But more so, we

ought to put the responsibility where it indeed lies, which is on us as men. I'm going to

explain what I mean by that. Bear with me, because I think you're going to agree at the

end of this conversation that we've got a real problem with the way that we, as men, are

showing up. And the symptom of that is school shootings and some of the other

atrocities that we see in society today.

Before I get into the details, I do want to say again, this is not meant to be a gun debate,

but there are a couple of surface level issues that I do want to address first and foremost

before we get deeper into this.

So, let's begin by addressing how we physically protect our kids when they're at school.

There are some straightforward solutions to this:

LIMITED ENTRY POINTS I see so many schools that are open. People can come in

and out wherever, there's no entry point, and there's no fixed exit point. If we can limit

entry points in schools, we can more easily regulate who is coming in, who is going out,

where they're going, what they're doing, what they're up to, and what their business is

there. Having limited entry points to schools is going to solve a lot of these problems.

METAL DETECTORS If you have limited entry points, and you can put metal detectors

at these entry and exit points, it’s likely you’ll catch and even deter any would-be shooter

from entering a school with firearms in the first place.

That said, I am mixed on that because it’s difficult for me to think about my kids going to

school and being on lockdown, and having metal detectors, and turning this into a

policed school. That’s difficult for me to think about but I do believe that there’s validity to

being able to protect our children in that way.

Outfitted VETERANS This is a subject that has been brought up over, and over, and

over again. America has spent billions and billions of dollars training military members.

We have men and women who come home who have lost their purpose because they're

no longer in the military. Having a new mission – a new target – could potentially

eliminate a lot of these problems right off the bat.

A bully goes for the weak target, and we've allowed our schools to become the soft

target. We've made them vulnerable to attacks, and we've exposed our children to

potential threats, including death.

So, how do you fix the problem? You stop making it an easy target. We do that by

implementing limited entry points, metal detectors, and armed veterans in the school

system.

CONCEALED CARRYING SCHOOL TEACHERS I would also suggest we consider

allowing qualified school teachers to carry firearms – not forcing them to but allowing

them to.

Now, as I said, I didn't want to make this a gun debate. That's not what it's about, but I

think those are four straightforward solutions that we can implement reasonably quickly

that would alleviate a lot of the problems that we see.

Now that we have that out of the way let's drill down a little bit.

Young boys are the ones who are creating these problems. They're the ones in the

school shootings. They're the ones doing the shot. And, if you look at the way that we

have begun to treat our boys, I think it becomes very apparent that there are some real

problems in the way that we address our boys in the school system.

First, the school system is stacked against young men. If you take a look at any metric –

from crime and violence to grades and drop out rates – you see that boys are falling

behind. That's partly because the school system is not conducive to teaching boys the

way that they need to be shown.

Surprise, surprise, there’s a difference between the way boys and girls learn

information, consume information, and get ideas about the way this world works.

Couple that with another problem I see, the drug epidemic with children. And, I’m not

talking about illegal drugs either. I’m talking about the way we medicate our boys. Our

boys get a little rambunctious, a little rowdy, a little upset, they fight, they compete, they

do the things that boys do, and rather than say, “this is healthy behavior for a boy,” they

say it’s unhealthy and begin to medicate them.

We were at the park last night with my boys and my daughter. One of my came up to me

to show me a stick he found looked like a gun. He’s said, “Dad, look, I found this stick.

It’s my gun.” Then he picked a handful of wood chips and said, “These are my bullets.”

From there, he ran around “shooting” his brother and sister with his gun and his bullets.

If he did that at school, he would be suspended, if not expelled, from school. And yet,

that's utterly healthy behavior. There's nothing wrong with a boy playing Cowboys and

Indians. There's nothing wrong with a boy who wants to pretend that he's shooting the

bad guy. There's entirely nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with a young

boy drawing a picture of a violent war scene.

Why? Because that's the way, they engage. That's the way that they create. When those

behaviors are channeled into the proper outlets, they become the skill set and the

characteristics for boys who will eventually become men who protect, provide, and

preside.

If we strip that away from them and pretend there's something wrong with them, we're

going to see some real problems. We are experiencing the real issues from over

medicating our young men now. It's horrific.

Instead of medicating our boys (and I’m not saying that there aren’t boys who need

medication) for ADD and ADHD, why not create a system in which boys can learn the

way they learn, through experiential learning? Let them go out and roll around in the dirt,

hike, pick up bugs, explore rocks, and do the things that we as boys always wanted to

do. If we strip that away, we see these problems.

The next issue here (and this is going to be the meat of the conversation today) is

fatherless homes.

As I was researching this topic, I started looking into some of the data. What I found is

crazy. The ramifications and impact on our young men of not having permanent father

figures in their lives are scary.

I grew up without a permanent father figure. I get messages every day from men who

listen to our podcast and read our articles that grew up without a father figure. This

statistic is getting worse. More boys are being born out of wedlock. Dad is physical,

mentally, and emotionally out of the picture. And, now, we have more boys who have

this raw masculinity coursing through their veins, and yet they have no example of how

to harness that masculinity into something that's called "manliness" that will help the

world.

I look at my boys, and by their very nature, they're destructive. They go outside, and they

destroy stuff. It's my job as a father to harness that and teach them how to use that

constructively. Rather than be destructive, it’s my job to help them to be constructive

– help them to build things, help them to lift other people up, help them to use that

creativity and that imagination in a way that’s going to benefit their lives and the lives of

the people that eventually they’ll have a responsibility for. They don’t get that when a

father is not in the picture.

Take a look at some of the problems that are magnified when dad is not around:

Poverty

Behavioral issues

Prison time

Crime rates

Abuse and neglect

Drug and alcohol abuse

Drop out rates

Suicide

That's eight factors that get worse statistically when a father is not in the home! If that

doesn't show you how important it is for fathers to be in the house, I don't know what

else I can tell you.

Some people will argue with me about that. Some people think that I'm attacking single

mothers because I share that data (which is ridiculous). A single mother raised me. She

did everything that she could to raise my sister and me. And yet, when I have

conversations with her today, she will readily admit that she wasn't able to provide me,

on her own, with everything that I needed to transition from boy to man.

This is not a gun problem. We can talk about that, sure, but it’s not a gun problem. It’s

not even a young man problem. It’s a fatherhood problem. Plain and simple, it is a

fatherhood problem.

So, how do we address this?

First (and I know this is going to upset people) if you aren’t in the space – mentally,

physically, emotionally, and financially – to have kids, don’t. Why in the world would

anyone bring a child into this world that they cannot possibly take care of?

Please notice I didn't say "ready." You can't ever entirely be ready to bring a child into

this world, but at least, to some degree, you have to be capable of providing for a child.

And if you're not, please do not bring a child into this world. It's not fair to you, and it's

not fair to that child, it's not appropriate to society. Be responsible.

Second, we have got to be present for our kids. It's not enough to provide financially

for our children. It's not enough to put money in the bank account. That's a critical

component, no doubt, but it's not enough. It's not the full deal. It's not the full definition of

provision. When I talk about providing, I'm talking about physically, mentally, and

emotionally

I can see my boys (mainly, my oldest) struggling with how to behave, how to become a

man, how a man acts, how a man interacts, how a father shows up, how a husband

shows up, how a guy shows up in his community. I can see that in my son now. He's ten

years old. If I'm not physically present providing an example for him, where does he

learn that stuff?

Well, he learns it from athletes. He discovers it on the news. He learns it from people on

social media. He learns it from his friends who don't have fathers. That's where he gets

his ideas of masculinity and manliness, and guess what? It's not healthy.

The healthy way to provide an example for a child is to be the example for your child. Be

there physically. Be there mentally. Get your own house in order. Get your stuff situated

so that when your boy comes to you with some challenges, or you recognize them in

him, you can do something about it.

If you can't get yourself right because you're fat, or overweight, or out of shape, or you

have abuse issues, or your financial situation isn't in order, or you're depressed, or

you're not doing the things that you know you should be doing, how in the world are you

ever going to provide what that young man needs in his life? How are you going to be

the beacon he needs? How are you going to have the capacity to sit down, shoulder to

shoulder, with your son and say, "You know what, I recognize something's not right bud.

How can I help you? Here's what I did. Here's what I have experienced. Here's what I

went through. Here's how I dealt with the things when I was wrong, or when I was off, or

when I was going through what you are going through right now." You can't do that if you

haven't fixed yourself first.

Get yourself right, guys – emotionally as well. And that's the last component I wanted

to talk about here. Be available, emotionally. A lot of us have this macho/"alpha" idea of

what it means to be a man. But it's okay to express your emotions. Being happy is okay.

Being sad is okay. It's okay to cry. Being an emotional person is okay. You are a human

being. We don't need to hide our emotions. We don't always need to express them,

either. There needs to be a healthy balance between the way that we use our feelings to

serve us and those that we must help.

So, when you recognize in your son that he’s dealing with a difficult time, whether he got

rejected, failed the test, got cut from the team, went to a party, been exposed to

pornography, got into drugs and alcohol, you can be empathetic to what he’s going

through. You can be there the way that he needs you to be there so that he takes these

experiences – positive and negative – and uses every single one of them to be a

contributing member of this society.

Be there. Be present as a father.

The last thing I want to talk about is fathering other boys in the community. You have

a responsibility for that, as do I. I see a lot of guys who are great with their kids, and yet

when you ask them to volunteer to coach a sports team or to step up in sort of

leadership capacity, or serve in some young men's type organization, they won't do it, or

they can't do it.

That's a problem. You are not just the father in your home, but you are also a fatherfigure

in the community. You have an obligation to your community. You have a

responsibility to your community. It's not enough to father your home, you've got to

father the community. That's our job. That's our responsibility.

If there's an opportunity for you to coach your son's team, take it. Not only is that a

chance to forge a new bond with him, but it's also an opportunity to form a unique

relationship with 20 other kids who need your help because they're not growing up

without fathers, because their dads aren't listening to this podcast, because their dads

aren't around, because their dad is too busy working, and because maybe they don't

even know who their dad is.

We’ve been doing stepping up as men in the community thousands of years by

operating in packs and tribes and serving each other and helping each other where we

can, lifting each other up when we fall.

And yet, I look around in society, and I see so many people who are consumed with

themselves that they have no capacity to serve other people. It's easy to do. I get it, and

you're busy. I'm working, I've got stuff to do. I've got my stuff to take care of. And yet, if

we can't find a way to serve in the communities in which we live, we're going to continue

to see more and more horrific school shootings, violence, crime, drug abuse, neglect,

and all of the things I talked about earlier.

I don't have all the solutions, and I certainly don't. I'm figuring this stuff out just like you.

I'm a young father, 37 years old, with four kids. I'm trying to make just as much sense

out of this as anyone else.

But I can tell you that I look around in society, and I see some very, very serious issues.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being, that if we can learn to

be the type of men that we are called to be these problems may not go away, but I

guarantee that we'll make a dent, that we'll make an impact, that we'll see improvement.

And, if we can compound those improvements over time, over, and over, and over

again, generationally, we will see the change we know we need.

Single Dads

Preparing Sons for Manhood as a Single Dad

Be prepared. This is the Boy Scouts’ motto. It should also be the calling for every young

man as he ventures into manhood—spearheaded by his father to help get him there.

As a father, you carry considerable weight when it comes to influencing the way your

son views himself as a man, how he treats women, and his self-confidence. He’s

counting on you to navigate him through life’s uncertainties in becoming a real man.

Here are a few quick tips for single dads raising sons—whether alone or in a coparenting

agreement.

Finding His Identity

“I’ve learned that simple walks with my father around the block when I was a child…did

wonders for me as an adult.”—Andy Rooney

This quote emphasizes the point of how crucial father-son time is. Dad, engaging

actively in your son's life will lead to him gaining greater self-confidence, a healthy

perspective of masculinity, and reduce the possibility of his involvement in risky

behaviors. Whether it's breakfast on a Saturday morning, working on the car, playing

games, or as stated above, simple walks—they all add up tremendously in the

upbringing of a confident young man.

If Mom Is Not Present

Whether she's physically or emotionally absent, a mother provides a need in a young

man's life that only she can fill—like us dads filling the needs only we can. Talk about his

mom positively and respectfully. If that's a stretch now, hold your tongue and don't say

anything at all. Help him to honor his mother. Be creative whenever possible, such as

making her a card or gift for special occasions. Encourage your son through ageappropriate

touch and affection. Give him the nurturing he desires. Your boy will view all

women, in the same manner, you model. Let him see you open doors for ladies,

anything that models chivalry or courtesy will go a long way.

Finding a strong mother-figure to be in his life can be a great move as well. This doesn’t

necessarily mean someone you are dating, though that may happen eventually. Is there

currently a close family member or friend he can relate to within healthy boundaries to fill

in those mother gaps?

Preparing Him For The Battle Ahead

It's no secret we live in a hyper-sexualized culture. I mentor a middle school boy. One

day I talked to my wife about the difference between the way girls dress in elementary

school versus middle school. She reminded me that my mentee sees that every day.

How will you talk to your son about the proper way to treat women and help keep his

eyes and heart protected? Even with a smaller amount of parenting time, you can be

influential here—but it must remain a front-burner issue and delivered in a way he will

understand.

Similarly, when we fathers hold fast to our integrity regarding protecting our hearts and

eyes, we are much stronger in living truth out before our children. No doubt single dads

have their fill of sexual temptation too. How much more will a growing boy face and how

will you lead him through it? The more equipped you are to face the battle of sexual

temptation the easier it will be to have confident talks with your son. We're able to impart

solid wisdom when we are living in integrity ourselves.

10 Things to Write a Letter to Your Daughter

A letter to my daughter from me is unique and lasting. It doesn't have to belong. No

matter the length it is something she can keep and cherish. When our daughters face an

exhausting day, they will always be able to turn to our encouraging words. To help you

get started, here are ten things to write a letter to your daughter (and keep a copy for

yourself):

When our daughters face a stressful day, they will always be able to turn to our

encouraging words.

1. “I love you from the bottom of my heart.”

Consistent expressions of love cannot be overdone. The more parents say it, the more

deeply it is appreciated. She’s less likely to look for love “in all the wrong places” when

she’s confident her dad’s crazy about her.

2. “I believe in you.”

Not just “I believe in you,” but “Here’s why.”

You're my daughter, and I love you.

You’re smart.

I trust you.

You’re a hard worker.

You’re grounded in your faith.

3. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Again, this is about fundamental confidence in who she is: beautiful both inside and out.

Just like her mother, she is going to be just as beautiful as you say she is.

4. “You make me proud in so many ways.”

Tell her how much who she is meant to you.

When I watch you act with compassion, it makes my heart burst with pride.

The work you did on that project, the way you help out around the house, the

good manners you use around other people, the way you handle your

allowance…

No need to make stuff up, affirm what's going right.

5. “I want you to know what my treasures are.”

Share your fundamental values with your daughter. Teaching kids from our hearts

require some extra effort. "I'm not sure if I've ever told you this, but I've never cared that

much about money. I treasure my family. I love your mother. You and your brother are

worth more to me than anything. My faith in God is the very ground I stand on, and being

part of a faith community has made all the difference to this family. You may not realize

this, but I passed up a huge promotion when you were little, so we could stay in this

community where we are loved, and you have friends…"

6. “Let me tell you about the day you were born.”

You may or not be a writer, but you can share some of the emotions you felt that day.

I cried like a baby the first time I held you.

I prayed for you every day for nine months, and I haven’t stopped since.

You were such a beautiful baby from the first moment.

Because of you, I love your mother ten times more than what I thought was

possible.

7. “Don’t ever settle for second best.”

You’ve been teaching her this all along, but make it clear in this letter too. Parents want

the best for their children, but it’s time she takes ownership of that value.

Use the gifts you’ve been given.

Treat your body with respect.

Spend your life with someone who loves you as I do.

Explain why: she was created in love and with a purpose. She was designed to both live

and love at capacity. That requires the very best.

8. “Sometimes my love makes me afraid.”

Be honest about the way your love for her makes you cautious. Tell her prospective

boyfriends are going to have to pass inspection, not because you don't trust her but

because you love her. Tell her she's going to have to call you and text you when she's

out of the house because you ache when you can't reach out and hold her hand. Tell her

you to need her to reassure you sometimes. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

9. “You can always come to me—no matter what—and I will help you figure things

out.”

Raising kids or raising teenagers, either way, it's essential your daughter understands

that nothing will ever stop you from loving her. Make sure she knows that, even if she's

in trouble, she can talk to you and that you're willing to help her formulate a plan. Tell her

you will always take her calls and listen when she needs to talk.

10. “Now I want you to listen to my heart.”

Only you know what to write here. But make sure you share from the bottom of your

heart. If you're a man of faith, tell her what that means to you. If you have a moving story

about your relationship to your parents, offer it here. If you're a poet, write some verse.

Do you have a song that expresses something of your soul, quote it here. This is the

time for authenticity.

10 Perfect Daddy-Daughter Date Ideas

Our daughter is excited. She has a date with her first love. Mom helps her get ready, and

she looks beautiful. There's no insecurity because she knows her time loves her

unconditionally. She has known him her whole life. He is faithful, trustworthy, and fun.

There's a knock on the door, and she takes one last look in the mirror before answering.

She opens the door, sees her date, and smiles, "Hi, Daddy." It may dawn on you: The

only guy I know that I can trust with this jewel is me. Hopefully, there will be a guy you

feel just as confident about at some point. But you can worry about that later because

tonight it’s all about the two of you.

Taking your daughter on dates is one of the most important things you can do for her.

We want to help you plan a great time together. Here are ten perfect ideas for a daddydaughter

date night that will take her breath away.

Note: Somewhere around middle school, she will probably go through a phase of

awkwardness with you. She won’t want to be seen with you, and there may even be

barriers to conversation. Don’t worry. It will get better. In the meantime, take her to

places where she won’t see anyone she knows.

1. Do Her Favorite Thing.

Figure out her favorite activity, game, or sport. A date can be as simple as playing

“horse” if she loves basketball or sitting at a park table making crafts.

2. Go on a Picnic.

Pack her favorite foods, particularly dessert. Make a playlist of her favorite songs. Find a

vast field and put down a comfortable blanket. After eating, read to her or lay down and

play cloud shapes.

3. Paint Pottery.

This gives you the opportunity to be creative and come away with something tangible to

remember your time together.

4. Go to a Carnival/Festival.

A corn-dog, funnel cake, cotton candy, and your daughter by your side. Sounds like

heaven. Enjoy the sights and sounds; perhaps win her a stuffed animal.

5. See a Show.

It can be as simple as local theater or as elaborate as a Broadway show. My sister still

talks about my dad taking her to see Annie in New York well over 30 years ago.

6. Take Her Shopping.

Set the budget before you go. Perhaps it is even a no purchase shopping day or

something small. When it comes to shopping, girls enjoy the journey as much as the

item. The size of your credit card is not what communicates love, but your willingness to

be in her world.

The size of your credit card is not what communicates love, but your willingness to be in

her world.

7. Try Geo-caching.

Get out into nature in a fun way by looking for hidden treasure. Most of the time, you will

find a nasty old toy. The actual cache will be your time together.

8. Have a Dinner Date.

Simple, classic, and plenty of opportunities to talk. Take her to her favorite place or find

a new one where neither one of you have been.

9. Host a Ball at Home or Go to a Formal Dance Class.

Girls love to dance. The first person they should learn with or teach them ought to be

their dad. If they are still in the era of princesses, set up a ball at home. Play the prince.

Give her the Cinderella experience. If she is older, take her to a formal dance class or

perhaps even swing dancing if you are brave.

10. Have a Photo Scavenger Hunt.

Come up with a list of things to capture. You can choose to make a list and surprise her

with the idea or have her help you. The two of you can want to be in the pictures or not.

Taking your daughter on dates is one of the most important things you can do for

her.

10 Things I Hope My Children Remember about Me as a

Father

One of these days (sooner than I’d like to admit) my kids are going to be out of the

house and have kids of their own. (And my oldest is married with kids of her own).

And while I’ll be looking back on my parenting years as a distant memory, my children’s

hearts will no doubt be filled with many memories of me as a father as well.

I desire that I would not only leave fond memories and an example worth following but

that I would ultimately leave a legacy of what true fatherhood was meant to be. I desire

to fulfill my role to it's fullest. Here are some things I hope my children keep in mind

when they remember me as their father.

Note: This is my list. What does yours look like?

1. He knew how to have fun.

I hope that one day I’ll look back on the parenting years as some of the most fun years

of our family’s lives. I hope that my kids will do the same. Because we didn’t endure life

together, we enjoyed it.

2. He gave us lots of physical affection.

Kids need lots of affection. Dads often struggle to give enough of it. May my kids never

doubt my love because I failed to show it in one of the simplest and most powerful ways

possible— physical touch.

3. He spent time with us.

I want their childhood to be filled with countless memories of times when Dad said "Yes"

to them and their requests for his time and attention. Times when we played together,

wrestled together, laughed together, served concurrently, and quietly lived this thing we

call life together. Because Dad chose to be present, wanted to be involved, and wasn't

too busy to be there.

4. He knew how to be both our father and daddy.

My kids need a daddy to look up to, but they also need a father to respect. Sometimes

being a dad means you get to be your kids’ best friend and hero. Other times, it means

you have to be the disciplinarian and ‘the bad guy.’ A balance of both is essential. May

my kids remember me as both their father and daddy.

5. He was patient and kind.

Kids mess up and need regular correction and guidance. May I always remember that

my kids are just that— kids, whom God has given me to prepare for life. And may they

still remember that I was patient and kind towards them, even in those times when I had

to be firm. May they remember my correction and discipline for being done out of love

and understanding, not out of anger or frustration.

6. He was helpful.

May they remember seeing me doing the dishes for Mom, helping them with their

homework, and serving the family in any way that was needed. I hope they remember

me for being approachable. May they always remind me of being present.

7. He was in love with our mother.

Dad loved Mom, and it was never something that they had to question. Dad made his

love evident in the way that he spoke to her, kissed her, treated her, and prioritized her.

8. He loved serving others.

He lived a generous life towards others in need, and he encouraged us to do the same.

My dad made a difference in the lives of others by following the example of Jesus.

9. He loved me unconditionally.

Whether we were having fun or getting in trouble, we never questioned Dad's love.

Because he regularly told us…and because he showed us periodically.

10. He loved God.

I am a man of faith, and I want my kids to see that. I want them to know that is why my

life was focused on serving the Lord through helping others. I want them to think that

their father was a difference maker in his family, his church, and his community.

My kids need a daddy to look up to, but they also need a father to respect.

Teach Your Children to Make Wise Decisions

At the end of every night, we have our kids clean up the messes they have made. Most

of those messes are in their rooms where all of the toys they have played with are

sprawled out on the floor. If there were a competition for the slowest toy picker upper,

my daughter would be champion of the world. That coupled with her ability to play with

all of her toys and leave them out in a single day was a recipe for disaster. There were

nights she didn't get her room clean. I told her the wise decision would be for her to put

her toys away when she's done playing with them, so she isn't left with an overwhelming

mess. She didn't do it, and we continued having the same problem. Finally, I started

putting a timer in her room and told her that whatever was not put away when the timer

went off she would lose for a day.

For several days nothing changed. Then one night she went upstairs to clean and came

down two minutes later. I was surprised to see her so quickly and then she explained

that during the day she put her toys away when she was done playing with them rather

than waiting. I told her it was a wise decision. Teaching kids to make wise decisions can

be difficult, but it can be done with the right techniques. Here are 10 ways to teach your

kids to make the right decisions.

1. Let them make mistakes

As parents, our natural instinct is to shield our kids from all potential pitfalls. But carefully

letting your kids learn a hard lesson from their own mistakes and then talking to them

about it after the fact will give them great insight.

2. Expose them to the ‘real world’

Our shielding instinct is to hide the cold, ugly world from the eyes of our children. Yet,

there is no better teacher than a helpful dose of reality. For instance, maybe you caught

your child smoking. Instead of grounding him for two weeks and giving him a verbal

lashing, download pictures from the Internet of the lungs of those who smoke. This is far

more powerful in their mind than sitting in their room mad at you because they can’t go

out on Friday night. You still might ground them, of course, but WITH the real-life

example of why you must do so.

3. Teach your child to know herself

One of the greatest keys to wisdom is honestly being able to look at yourself in the

mirror and know who is looking back. Children who can distinguish their own strengths

and weaknesses are apt to make better decisions based on their abilities. American Idol

was a good example of this. Constantly we saw young people on this show who truly

believed they were great singers when the reality was so clear. Children should be

encouraged to try many wonderful things, but be able to realize they will not excel in

them all.

4. Learn your child’s interests

Maybe they are into football. Maybe music, art, cooking, etc. Whatever it may be, find

out or HELP your child find out his interests. They provide real-life examples of others

that share their same likes and who are successful. This teaches that hard work and

dedication are the keys to success and those traits lend very well to decision making.

5. Talk to your child

Open communication is vital to parenting but is quite often hard to achieve. The second

a child senses a lecture, you’ve lost his ear. If you can find common areas where you

bond and illicit real discussion from your child, you will gain invaluable insight into how

he thinks. This, in turn, gives you the ability to know what decision he is going to make

before he even makes it. If it’s not going to be the correct one, then you can intervene

and guide in the proper direction.

6. Get involved

Whether it is church youth groups, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, or any variety of social

organizations, having your child get involved will teach her life skills that will grow her

wisdom. It also exposes her to positive peer pressure and increases the likelihood that

the decisions she makes will be the correct ones. If a child has a lot to lose by acting

foolish, she is much less likely to do so. One of the best ways for you to get involved in

your child’s life is to be a presence at his or her school.

7. Money, money, money

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to teach them how to handle money

properly. If you can teach your child to handle money in a responsible manner, most

likely that will follow through into the other parts of his life. An ancient proverb says, “Of

what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom?”

8. Pile on the PRAISE

Too often, parents tend to focus on the things our children might need work on. We want

to fix their struggles. Yet, we might forget to praise when they get it right, as they so

often do. Example: "Dad, did you see me hit that 20 footer from the corner?" "Yes, good

job, but you had a couple of turnovers. You need to be more careful with the ball." Sound

familiar? By raising our children when they do great things, it helps reinforce the desire

to make decisions to have similar outcomes.

9. The friends we keep

If we are only as strong as our weakest link, then teaching your children how to choose

friendships is a vitally important task. As important as we like to think we are to our kids,

their world revolves around their own social interactions and circles of friends. It is THEM

they are listening to, and not us in many circumstances. One sure-fire way to know what

direction your child is headed in is to get to know his friends. “Show me your friends, and

I’ll show you your future.”

10. Lead by example

If you yourself do not follow these principles, then how do you expect your child to want

to? “Do as I say, not as I do” is NOT a good conversation starter with a child. If need be,

use your own faults as an example of how not to be and promise to do better. Humbling

yourself in front of your child and admitting your weakness will actually make him feel

closer to you. Where you do have strengths in decision-making skills, teach those to

him. The best lessons in life are caught, not taught, by a child’s parents.

The best lessons in life are caught, not taught, by a child’s parents.

See you in the

next issue in

July!!

The Contemporary Man Magazine june 2018

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