Speak It Christian Magazine Issue 1

speakitchristianmagazine

Speak It

Christian Magazine

Volume 1, Issue 1

It is of the Lord's mercies that w e are not

consumed, for his compassions fail not. They

are new every morning: great is thy

faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23


Contents

Website: www.speakitchristianmagazine.org

Phone: 919-675-2MAG

Email: info@speakitchristianmagazine.org

Letter From the Publisher Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 4

Feature Article: Crank It Again Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 8 - 9

Leading Silly Women Captive Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 10

Classy-Fieds - Our version of the classified ads Local Participants p 11

Feature Article: Domestic Abuse and the

Christian Family

Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 12 - 13

Feature Article: Praise Him in the Dark Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 14 - 16

Feature Article: Can a Christian Have a

Crush?

Feature Article: Getting Through Your

Seasons of Change

Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 18 - 21

Eula Turner p 23 - 23

What Does It Take: A Sixty Year Love Story Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 24 - 26

Spot Light on Youth Article: God's Way Isaac Tanner Cassady p 28 - 29

For Such a Time as This - Conflict

Resolution: Wait! Don't Escalate

Feature Article: Silent Tears - A But God

Testimony

Feature Article: Your Destiny is in Your

Detour

Katrena J. Kilpatrick p 32 - 33

Nicole Hemby Hinnant &

Katrena J. Kilpatrick

p 34 - 36

Dr. Saundra Wall Williams p 37 - 38

All Locks Nails & More St ylist s are

licensed, nurt uring, t alent ed, and

creat ive individuals. Call or st op by t o

m ake an appoint m ent soon!


Fromthe

Publisher's

Desk

As a young girl I loved to read and

write. I had no idea what God was going

to do with my love for paper and ink. I

started to write poetry, songs, skits, and

anything else I could think of.

Later on in life I started

journaling. To my delight, this gift not

only encouraged me, but it also inspired

others. When I shared the thoughts that I

had put on paper, people believed they

could make it through the storms they

were facing. Ultimately, I came to a

crossroads in my life, and I petitioned the

Father. I asked Him what was my purpose

in life. I asked Him what He wanted me to

do. In that strong, yet soft voice he said,

"WRITE." I have been writing ever since.

My passion for writing is to inspire and to

enlighten others. I want to use my writing

to let people know that God can make

miracles out of a mess!

6

Each time I write, I ask the Holy

Spirit to stir up the gifts inside of me . I

want the words of my mouth, the

meditations of my heart, and the words

that I pen to be acceptable in God's sight.

Sometimes my writing comes from life

observations and experiences or are

inspired by the Holy Spirit. No matter the

source, I want to share good writing so

that our readers can come to the

realization that they can make it through

life's circumstances with the help of God

and others.

Sincere In All I Do for Him,

Katrena Jones-Kilpatrick

Publisher,

Speak It Christian Magazine


Crank It A gain!

By Katrena J. Kilpatrick

Being confident of this very thing,

that he which hath begun a good work in you

will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

allow life's situations, and distractions to

stop us from going and doing what we

were created to do. Thus, we lose our

strength and our get up and go! We

grow spiritually weak, and we need a

higher source of power to get us moving

again.

God is our source of renewed

strength. Sitting idle plugged in to His

Word allows us to regain power

through Jesus Christ. Meditating in

prayer and listening for His still small

voice gives us what we need to get

moving again. Whether we are listening

to praise and worship music, or singing

songs of praise ourselves, we must never

allow our devotion time with God to

grow stale. It will eventually stop if we

do...so...crank it again!

I can recall a time when the battery

in my car had slowly faded out over

time, and then finally died. It was a

second vehicle that I did not drive every

day. It sat parked for weeks because my

other car was better on gas. When I did

choose to drive the larger car, I would

have to give it a couple of tries. I even

had to jump start it a couple of times to

get it going. Then one day it happened.

The regular old couple minutes jump

start did nothing for the battery. It had

completely lost all power.

I called the roadside assistance

service to come to my home and charge

the battery. The technician had a more

powerful jump box, and he said to let it

10

sit for a few minutes.

The car sat connected to the power

source for what seemed like a long time.

He said to me, ?crank it again!?Once I

turned the key it started right up. The

battery needed a stronger source of

power to get started. He also said that

once I drove it around for awhile, it

would boost the battery even more, and

I should be fine.

This scripture made me think long

and hard about that scenario. How often

as Believers do we lose our power

because we sit idle? There are times

when we are not using our gifts, our

time, nor our talents as they were

designed. For what ever reason, we


Leading Silly

Women Captive

A friend once came to me for

relationship advice. She ask ed

me a very disturbing question.

"Why do I alw ays attract the

w rong k ind of man?" I

answ ered her as best I could,

offering comfort that it w as not

all her doing. Week s later, God

w ok e me up w ith a more

profound answ er. He led me to

Second Timothy chapter three,

verses six and seven. It states:

"For this sort are they w hich

creep into houses, and lead

captive silly w omen laden w ith

sins, led aw ay w ith diverse

lusts, ever learning, and never

able to come to the know ledge

of the truth." This scripture

truly cuts lik e a k nife. It is

sharper than any tw o edged

sw ord for some of us. At some

point in our dating season, w e

have all been at this stage.

The enemy comes but to

steal, to k ill, and to destroy. He

k now s that God has a plan and a

purpose for w omen. Satan's

plan is to k ill our dreams. This

is w hy he sends the w rong man

into our lives. A man w ho does

not fear God. Next, Satan plans

to steal our joy. This is w hy he

sends conflict into that

relationship. He k now s that if

w e get all upset and our peace is

disturbed, w e w ill tak e our

focus off of the one true and

living God. The enemy studies

his subjects. He k now s that

w omen are emotional creatures.

His ultimate goal is to destroy

not only w hat God has in store

for w omen, but to destroy

w omen themselves. This is

w hy w e get led captive by men

w ho are lovers of themselves,

heady, and high-minded, among

other things. The scripture tells

us from such, turn aw ay.

We must remember that

w e are more than conquerors

through Jesus Christ that loves

us. We have been given a gift

more precious than any man

could ever give us. "Therefore,

having been justified by faith,

w e have peace w ith God

through our Lord Jesus Christ,

through w hom also w e have

access by faith into this grace in

w hich w e stand, and rejoice in

hope of the glory of God. And

not only that, but w e also glory

in tribulations, k now ing that

tribulation

produces

perseverance, and perseverance,

character, and character hope.

"Romans 5:1-4.If w e tak e time to

dissect God?s Word, w e w ill see

that it is filled w ith

relationship advice and

encouragement.

Minister Annette C. Love

Our goal is to bring as many positive organizations

together that are willing to help make a positive

difference and change in our communities of faith. To

be able to meet, encourage, empower, inspire others to live a

healthy life, have healthy relationships. There is so much work to

be done in the community. Let's join together! We will have

planned activities as well as spiritual counsel. Please join me by

"taking a shield of FAITH.

www.faithbasedservicenetwork.com

________________________________________________________

Mr. Joe Cooper

Inner City Hope/ Power of Forgiveness

Radio Talk Show - Thursdays 7:00pm-9:00pm

516-418-5558 - Call in to listen live or log on

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Live panelists each week.

12


Dom est i c A bu se an d

t h e Ch r i st i an Fam i l y

by Katrena Jones Kilpatrick

There are times,

even for a Christian,

that forgiveness is a

struggle. We know that

Christlike love requires

us to forgive those who

have wronged us. I n

Matthew 18:21-22,

Peter asked Jesus, Lord

how oft shall my

brother sin against me,

and I forgive him? Till

seven times? Jesus

saith unto him, I say

not unto thee, until

seven times, but

seventy times seven. To

our natural man, this

seems like a lot to put

up with. Just because

we release wrongs that

have been done to us,

does not mean we must

continue to endanger

ourselves or the one we

love. Forgiveness can be

simply leaving

vengeance in God's

hands like we read in

Romans 12:19-20. I t

says, Dearly beloved,

avenge not yourselves,

but rather give place

unto wrath: for it is

written, vengeance is

mine; I will repay saith

the Lord. Therefore if

thine enemy hunger,

feed him; if he thirst,

give him drink; for in so

doing thou shall heap

14

coals of fire on his head.

Domestic abuse

in its many forms, can

be a complex issue for

the Christian family. I t

bundles physical,

emotional, and spiritual

challenges into one

overwhelming crisis.

First, let's deal with the

physical. Know ye not

that ye are the temple

of God, and that the

Spirit of God dwelleth

in you? I f any man

defile the temple of

God, him shall God

destroy; for the temple

of God is holy, which

temple ye are. (1

Corinthians 3:16-17) We

are valued in God's eyes

as a temple, or a sacred

place. God does not

want his temple defiled

by violence. Other

scriptures that can

speak to abusive

situations are John

10:10. The thief cometh

not, but for to steal, and

to kill, and to destroy: I

am come that they

might have life, and

that they might have it

more abundantly. Jesus

is saying that some

people are among us to

hurt us, to steal our joy,

and to destroy our lives.

When He says we can

have life more

abundantly, He is not

only referring to material

things. He also means

spiritual abundance.

God's will is for us to feel

safe and unafraid.

Emotional abuse is

another type of suffering

that does not accomplish

a greater good like the

long suffering that is

talked about in the Bible.

NO one deserves to

suffer at the hands of a

family member or a loved

one. When children are

involved, emotional

abuse is extremely

harmful. Ephesians 6:4

tells parents, And ye

fathers, provoke not your

children to wrath: but

bring them up in the

nurture and admonition

of the Lord. Children are

vulnerable and depend

on the adults in their

lives to take care of

them. As Christian

parents, we will be held

accountable for how we

treat and raise our

children.

When we look at

domestic abuse with a

spiritual eye, 2 Timothy

3:15 stands very clear.

This know also, that in

the last days perilous

times shall come. For

men shall be lovers of

their own selves,

covetous, boasters,

proud, blasphemers,

disobedient to parents,

unthankful, unholy,

without natural

affection, truce breakers,

false

accusers,

incontinent, fierce,

despisers of those that

are good, traitors, heady,

high minded, lovers of

pleasures more than

lovers of God; having a

form of godliness, but

denying the power

thereof from such turn

away. The best way to

help an abuser other

than forgiving him is to

love him enough to

rebuke his actions.

Removing yourself and

your children from

harm?s way holds him

accountable for his

actions and may allow

him to repent more

quickly. The abuser

needs to seek help, but

only God can change his

heart.

T y p es of A bu se:

* Ph y si cal A bu se

I ntentional and

unwanted

Contact

that causes harm.

* Em ot i on al or

Ver bal

A bu se

Non-physical

Behaviors such as

Threats, stalking,

Humiliation,

damaging property

* Fi n an ci al

A bu se

Denying access to

funds, refusal to

give

money for rent,

food, etc.

* Sex u al A bu se

Any action that

pressures or

coerces

someone to do

something sexually

against their will.

I f you or someone

you know is being

abused, SEEK

HELP FROM

A DOMESTI C

VI OLENCE

CENTER I N YOUR

AREA!


Praise in the

Dark

And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and

sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard

them. And suddenly there was a great

earthquake, so that the foundations of the

prison were shaken.

Acts 16:25-26

Many of us have had dark

seasons in our lives. I f you will go

with me down memory lane; I can

recall years ago after hurricane

Katrina hit. I remember watching

news footage of all of the

devastation. There were horror

stories on the news and on every

channel. People had not only

experienced traumatic events; but

they also had to deal with the

tumultuous after math of the

storm. I remember feeling

distraught because of the human

suffering and the inability to do

anything. I stopped watching

coverage and just prayed for the

people who were affected.

Not long after the flood of

news broadcasts on the

devastation, I recall being

mesmorized by stories of victories

and divine intervention. There was

this one video of a woman who had

lost everything except her family

and the clothes on her back. I n

spite of it all, this woman of God

sang a song of praise to God so

moving and powerful that it sent

chills all over me. The anointing

just poured out from her mouth in

praise to God for sparing her life

and the lives of her children. I even

wrote a song because of her praise.

This depiction of love for the

Father came to me not too long ago

as I was experiencing my own

minute life challenges. Then I was

led to this scripture. The verses

here tell a story of two men, Paul

and Silas who were in a bad

situation. I magine the scenario.

They had been beaten and thrown

in jail for doing the work of the

Lord. I n this biblical drama, the

two men had cast evil spirits out of

17

a woman. She was making money

with her dark lifestyle. Once the

people who were using her saw

that Paul and Silas messed up

their money, they got mad about it.

These servants of God had

their clothes ripped off, got beaten,

and were thrown in jail. They did

not break any laws. They hadn?t

stole anything or murdered

anyone. They did the work of the

Lord; and for this they fell into a

bad situation.

How many times have we

been minding our own business,

working for the kingdom of God,

and fell into a bad situation?

Things were dark for these holy

boys. Yet, this scripture says in

verse 25. ?And at midnight Paul

and Silas prayed, and sang praises

unto God; and the prisoners heard

them. Verse 26 goes on and gives

us even more detail. ?And suddenly

there was a great earthquake, so

that the foundations of the prison

were shaken: and immediately all

the doors were opened, and

everyone?s bands were loosed.?

You see, first of all, we see

here that even as Christians, when

we are doing the work of the Lord,

we may get beat down. After

getting beat down, we may be in a

dark place. But thanks be to God

that like Paul and Silas, when

things are really dark, we can still

praise God! When we praise God

in spite of our circumstances,

situations will get shaken up!

Foundations of evil will be and can

be shaken off of us. I f we just open

our mouths to pray and to praise

God, things will change. Midnight

may be the darkest time of the

night. But these men lifted up the

name of Jesus in the jailhouse!


They prayed and praised so

fervently that the whole place got

stirred up.

That is good news for us

today. We may have our dark

places of bondage, like the shackles

that were on Paul and Silas; but

we can still praise God. We may be

out of a job but we can pray and

ask God for His will for another

one. We have the assurance of

Philippians 4:19 that says My God

shall supply all my need

accourding to his riches in glory by

Christ Jesus. We may be facing

uncooperative family members, but

we can pray for them according to

Acts 16:31 that says And they said,

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you

will be saved, you and your

household. We

may be dealing

with unruly

children, but

Proverbs 22:6 says

Train up a child in

the way he should

go and when he is

old he will not

depart from it. I

know these are

some dark places,

but we need to

praise in the dark!

Your marriage

may be tore up from the floor up;

but there is no need to lose any

sleep, unless you are on your

knees. Why? Because Psalm 121

reminds us that all of our help

cometh from the Lord, which made

heaven and earth. He will not

suffer thy foot to be moved: he that

keepeth the will not slumber.

Behold, he that keepeth I srael

shall neither slumber nor sleep.

God is up and on the job. He is a

waymaker, a provider, a healer, a

restorer, and a repairer of the

breach. We know this, so we can

praise him through any dark

situations.

I f Paul and Silas can praise

him from their jail cell with chains

around their ankles; we can

certainly praise him in our

Sunday?s best that God blessed us

to have. We have no right to sit in

the house of God looking down and

out. We can praise God in our cars,

in our bedrooms, in our bathrooms,

in our kitchens, or wherever the

notion strikes us. He is just that

good. We have no need to go on the

job murmuring and complaining

about the boss. Praise God for her

or him because

he or she is

keeping you

close to the

throne of grace.

Praise God in

the dark.

Praise God in

the light.

Praise God

when it looks

good. Praise

God when it

looks bad. We

know that all

things work together for good for

them that love God and are called

according to His purposes. SO

praise Him in the dark.

18

Dr. Saundra Wall is a published researcher and author in her professional

field. She has also written two books, The Ministry Within, and I Can Have

and Do It All ? 7 Pillars of Complete Life Balance. She holds a Bachelor of

Science in Mathematics, Master of Science in Applied Mathematics and

Statistics, Doctor of Education in Adult and Community College Education

from North Carolina State University and a Master of Divinity from Regent

University.

In her calling, Dr. Saundra is an ordained minister with leadership

responsibilities at the local, district and state levels. She is also the

founder of T.E.A.C.H., an international teaching ministry for women in

ministry and the Business Minded Ministers Network, an international

network to help women grow their God-given ministries.

Find out more at: www.facebook.com/ DrSaundraSpeaks/


C a n a

C h r i s t i a n

H a v e a

C r u s h ?

I will start with the

definitions that I learned during

my lesson. The word lascivious

means reflecting on or producing

sexual desire; or behavior that is

considered indecent or obscene.

Another definition says that

lascivious means inclined to

lustfulness. Wow! The King James

version of scripture puts it this way

in Galatians 5:16-21. This I say

then, walk in the Spirit, and ye

shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

For the flesh lusteth against the

Spirit, and the Spirit against the

flesh: and these are contrary the

one to the other: so that ye cannot

do the things that ye would; but if

ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not

under the law. Now the works of

the flesh are manifest, which are

these; adultery, fornication,

uncleanness, lasciviousness,

idolatry, witchcraft, hatred,

variance, emulations, wrath, strife,

seditions, heresies, envyings,

murders, drunkenness, revelings,

and such like: of the which I tell

you before, as I have told you in

time past, that they which do such

things shall not inherit the

kingdom of God.

Again I ask, can a Christian

have a crush? Since we are fact

checking, let us see what the

dictionary defines as a crush. I t

says it is a brief but intense

infatuation for someone. I will be

totally transparent here in an

effort to encourage and lift

someone out of a potential pit. I did

have a crush on someone in the

past. As a woman of God, I felt

totally inept to deal with what I

was feeling. The ?emotions? were

so strong. I felt drawn to this man

of God. I also knew that no matter

what type of relationship I had

experienced in the past; now was a

season for me to honor God in all

of my thoughts, my actions, and

yes, my friendships.

I told myself that it was

innocent, and there was no way I

was going to break my celibacy for

anyone. I led myself to believe that

the friendly lunches, emails, text

messages, and phone calls were

harmless. What I was really doing

was flirting with danger. The

enemy knows our weaknesses, and

he will do all he can to use them

against us if we are not prayerful

and careful. As Believers in God

and His Word, we must not only

abstain from all appearance of evil,

but we must also flee!

God loves us and He desires

for us to have loving and healthy

relationships. What we must

consider is that He has designed

someone very specific for us. I t is

someone who will be a help and not

a hindrance to His will and His

purpose for us. I f we align

ourselves to someone who is not a

part of God?s perfect plan for us,

disaster can happen. We will not

only be distracted from our path,

but we may also fall into the hands

of the enemy of our

souls.

Ungodly soul ties

are hard to break once

they are formed. I f we

open the door to foul

spirits, we can be in for

serious spiritual

warfare. I t is important

to be prayerful when

opening our lives to

20 21

potential relationships. I t is not

just about us or our feelings. I t is

about Kingdom purpose.

Ladies, he may look good;

but can he cover you in prayer

when life?s situations get tough? I f

he can?t pray, send him away! Men,

she may look fine in that skirt; but

can she intercede for you when you

have an intense situation at work?

I f we are interested in a person,

and want to spend time with him

or her to get to know him better,

seek God on the matter. Ask

yourself the hard questions. Weigh

the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The world would have us to believe

that if we like someone it is alright

to love and to be loved. But we are

called to come up higher.


Let's look at the good aspects of a crush:

- Is this a relationship that can help us grow in our relationship with God?

- Does he or she understand our faith?

- Is he or she a believer?

- Is he or she a worshiper?

- Does he or she have a strong prayer life?

- Will he or she help you honor God in the relationship, and not suggest

anything that is contrary to the Word of God?

Now let's look at the bad aspects of a crush:

- Does this person pull you away from God?

- Does this person agree with your plan for celibacy?

- Does this person want you to put him or her before God?

- Do you lose sight of yourself or change when you are around this person?

- There are consequences for developing feelings for the wrong person.

Since we have looked at the good

and the bad aspects of having a crush on

someone, let's consider how to deal with

it and go through it in a way that honors

God.

1. PRAY AND PRAY some more.

When I first discovered that I had

feelings for this man, I specifically asked

God if this man was not a part of HIS will

for me to block it. I also asked the Holy

Spirit to check me if I got out of line in

my conversations or my actions. I

fervently prayed that I would not fall in

to temptation; because in all honesty, I

was attracted to this person. I had

allowed the enemy to fool me into

thinking I was lonely. If we are not

steadfast in prayer, and continuously

meditating on God's Word, we can be

fooled. It was clear that I had a romantic

interest in this person, and that he had

one in me. But I did not want my

emotions to allow me to cross over into

idolatry. There were times I would

imagine these wonderful sweet vacations

where we were sitting on a balcony

looking out at the ocean. I would think of

him before falling asleep, and I would

wake up with him on my mind. This

type of mind time should only be

reserved for Jesus. But God In His

infinite wisdom allowed me through my

prayers, and the prayers of my friend, to

see that our connection was not physical,

it was much more. It was spiritual. He

was a watchman for me, and I was an

intercessor for him. We are still friends

to this day. I am glad that the Word of

God prevailed and did not allow us to

cross the line into dark sinful territory.

Proverbs 4:23 says, ?Keep thy heart with

all diligence; for out of it are the issues of

life. We must not only guard our hearts,

but we must also befriend ourselves with

people who will guard our hearts as well.

2. While going through this crush, I also

PLUGGED INTO GOD EVEN MORE.

He is always the power source we need

to catapult us above and over any

obstacle we face.

3. Lastly, I SOUGHT WISE COUNSEL.

I had a prayer partner who was an older

woman of God and a minister of the

Gospel. She was a sounding board for me

about this crush. I am thankful for her

wisdom and loving guidance. Her prayers

and encouragement coupled with my

pastor's preaching and teaching helped

me to understand that as Believers we

will stumble, and we will make mistakes.

The substance is in how we rise to the

call of being Holy and acceptable in the

sight of God and man.

So I will say, yes to the question.

A Christian, a blood bought woman or

man of God can have a crush on

someone. It is a natural part of who we

are. Some crushes may lead to the Ruth

and Boaz experience. But as my mother

used to say, ?Don't meddle in God's

business.?We have to allow Him to lead

us and make things happen in His time

and in His way.

22


G e t t i n g T h r o u g h

Y o u r S e a s o n o f

C h a n g e

B y M r s . E u l a T u r n e r

?There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; ? ? Change is

constant in nature and in life. We can no more avoid change than we can avoid breathing.

God dictates change in

nature and allows change in our

lives. We can embrace change with

its challenges and opportunities or

fight against it. Joseph, one of

Jacob?s younger sons, is an

admirable role model for dealing

with change. He accepted life?s

challenges and maintained his

faith. Jacob loved him, but most of

his brothers hated him. Jacob

contributed to the negative feelings

toward Joseph by making him a

coat of many colors. His brother ?s

feelings intensified after he shared

his dreams. When Joseph went to

check on his brothers and the

flocks, they seized the opportunity

to get rid of him. After discussing

the possibility of murder, the

brothers decided to put Joseph into

a dry well to die. When they

sighted a caravan on its way to

Egypt, however, they changed their

minds and sold Joseph into slavery.

They reported to their father that a

wild animal had killed Joseph and

the only thing left was his coat.

Fast forward years later; the

brothers bow before Joseph as they

seek grain to keep starvation at

bay. Joseph, who holds ?the key? to

life and death for Egypt and

surrounding nations, recognizes

his brothers. They, however, do not

recognize him! He has gone from

slave to second in command over

all of Egypt, from pauper to prince.

What does Joseph?s story have to

do with us getting through our

season of change? Joseph trusted

God and his promises! How else

might he have escaped the

negative consequences of his

brothers?evil plans? They did not

know that God uses man?s evil to

establish good.

They did not know that God often

changes the negative to a positive

for the faithful. God has a plan for

each of us, but He doesn?t lay it

out as a man develops a detailed

business or career plan and

shares it with others. He requires

us to trust Him! He requires us to

live each moment for Him and in

His power, not our own. He

requires us to depend on Him, not

for our salvation only but also for

our daily substance. We get

through our season of change as

we trust and obey God. We get

through our season of change by

remembering that God is aware of

everything that is happening. We

get through our season of change

by knowing that God?s plan is to

prosper and perfect us. We get

through our season of change by

offering our bodies as living

sacrifices and by surrendering our

will to God.

24 25

Eula M.B. Turner is an avid

reader, expert writer,

compassionate advocate, and

life-long learner. She lives in

Garner, NC with her husband of

40+ years. See more from Turner

at

www.divineresultsmentoring.com.


preaching and teaching, and she was at

home caring for the children. There were

good times and there were bad times, but

they stayed together. When I asked them if

they had it to do all over again, the answer

was absolutely! They laughed together,

they cried together, but most of all, they

trusted God together. It takes God to hold a

marriage and a family together for sixty

plus years. There were times they did

things in their latter years, that surprised

them both. Take for instance riding the

Himalaya ride at a bowling alley for their

grand daughter?s birthday party. It was a

first for both of them. It was even the first

for the bowling alley. The ride attendant

stated that the Joneses

were the oldest couple to

ever ride this ride. What

a God we serve! Who

would imagine two

people in their seventies,

still in love, and riding

amusement rides? Simply

put, it takes God.

26


What Does It Take? Some Things Mama Told Me About Marriage:

- You have to take the bitter with the sweet.

- You can't throw the baby out with the bath water. You know bath

water can get real dirty. But you keep the baby and send the dirty

water down the drain and keep getting up.

- You can't stay mad. Sometimes you have to go outside or get

somewhere by yourself and just talk to God. Cry if you have to, but

get yourself together and go on back in the house.

- Pray child. You can't never have too much prayer.

I am so blessed and thankful to have witnessed a marriage like my

parent's marriage. There was a joke in the community; when you saw

one you saw the other. My friends...I believe that's what it takes.


31


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CONFLICT

RESOLUTION

SKILLS

Recently a highschool

student was faced with a dilema.

One of his teachers grabbed him by

the back of his collar to prevent him

from exiting the classroom. The

student was no trouble maker. He

posed no threat to the teacher or the

other students. So for the teacher to

even put his hands on him was

unnecessary.

We see so much drama in

the media about school violence

involving our young people and the

authorities. But what this young

man did next was brave, smart, and

intuitive. He left the classroom, and

he called his mother on the way to

the principal's office to report the

incident. In this moment which

could have escalated into a heated

situation; he kept his cool. He most

likely was remembering his

mother's words that she had

instilled in him since kindergarden.

"Teachers have a boss. If you have a

problem with an adult, don't be

sassing. Go to the principal and then

you call me.

He handled the situation the

right way. He waited so the

situation would not escalate. We all

know that if he would have put his

hands on the teacher, he would have

been in major trouble. Regardless of

the fact that the teacher was out of

line, this young black male; or any

race for that matter, would have

faced extreme consequences for

grabbing a teacher.

In looking back at the

situation and in speaking with the

student, he said to me, "I was so

angry! But I knew that if I would

have put my hands on him they

would have tried to lock me up." To

the outside eye, one may ask what

was the child doing for the teacher

to take it to that level. The student

had been out sick the previous day,

so he was not aware of the teacher's

instructions to the class on the

previous day. He had told the class,

"Tomorrow nobody move when the

bell rings. I dismiss the class, not the

bell." So when the bell rang, this

young man headed out the door as

normal.

When the teacher grabbed

him back by his shirt collar, words

were exchanged; but the teenager

refused to be provoked into what

could have been a bad outcome.

Wait don't escalate can be

conflict resolution for almost any

scenario or situation. It can be

applied to the workplace, in school,

35


Wait Don't Escalate Continued from previous page........

or in any place where escalating a situation could have negative outcomes.

How to Wait Instead of Escalate:

1. Weigh the consequences of your actions. Is it w orth the negative impact that

may result from how your anger w ants you to react?

2. Walk aw ay! Even if you step aw ay from the situation just to calm dow n, to

think , or to call a relative.

3. Be the bigger person, even if the other person is w rong. This is not to say

allow people to w alk all over you. This is to say consider the many options to

fix a situation. Cover them all in your mind and decide the best w ay to handle

w hat you are dealing w ith. If you are not sure, talk to a trusted adult lik e a

parent, grand parent, pastor, or mature friend.

WAIT! DON'T ESCALATE!


39


- You better act like you got some sense.

- Don't make me get at you.

- I can show you better than I can tell you.

- You gon find yourself getting up off the

floor.

- When I get you I'm gon get you for old

and new.

- Act like you been raised.

- Don't let nobody make a monkey out of

you.

- Your are beautiful.

- I'm your buddy if nobody else ain't.

- Money don't grow on trees.

- I'm telling you what I know.

- I sacrifice and go without so you can

have.

- Don't let me come home and find dishes

in the sink.

- Move out the way! I can be near bout

finished while you playing around.

- Come here let me tell you something.

(wisdom usually followed this.

- I'll bust you open!

- (Staring and glaring.) No words but this

meant straighten up.

- Who you going with, who gon be there, is

their mama at home???

- Don't wear your welcome out.

- We'll see. (This meant no)

- Go ask your daddy.

- I don't care too much about that. (This

also meant no.)

WISDOM

WISE CRACKS &

LOVE

When we were growing up my

parents could say some of the

funniest and sassiest things.

No matter what the scenario,

they had a catchy phrase.

Even when they were being

"smart at the mouth," they did

it in love.

I have listed some of the

things that have been passed

down for generations. The

ones that are highlighted are

some that I also used with my

own children.

Please send us yours!

Email to:

info@speakitchristianmagazine.org

Place Wisdom, Wise Cracks, &

Love in the subject line.

Include your favorite relative

who said the quote.


T ? Triumphs!

At every detour in my life God made a

SHIFT. My faith grew stronger. It went

to a level that I had not experienced

before in certain areas of my life. I

learned that a SHIFT is not about your

movement. It?s about your faith to move

forward. Reflect on some of the struggles

that you have had this year. I know that

you may have asked, ?God why am I

having these experiences? Why am I

stuck? Why am I not moving forward??

destiny. God has already designed it for

you. It?s just waiting for you to make that

first step to go forward and do what He?s

called you to do. You can?t let the vision

inside you die. Get up! Move forward!

Use the remaining days of 2018 to build

your strategy to MOVE FORWARD!

Moving forward requires a SHIFT and a

SHIFT requires faith.

Your Destiny is in Your

Detour

By Dr. Saundra Wall Williams

I always thought I understood

and knew God?s purpose for my life. But

it seems that every time I thought I

knew what God was doing, a detour

happened. A life detour is when God

takes you in a direction that you did not

expect to go.

In 2018, I learned that there is a

Divine purpose for every detour in our

life. The situations that I thought were

struggles were actually Divine detours to

get me to His Divine purpose for my

life. Think about it. Did not every

struggle you experienced take your

relationship with God to a higher and

more intimate level?

42

Every detour that God created in

your life this year was there for a

purpose. The purpose was to move you

towards His Divine destiny. At every

detour, a shift happened in my life! A

Mindset shift. A Physical shift. An

Emotional shift. A Financial shift. A

Spiritual shift. Now here?s the

revelation. These were not ordinary

shifts. They were SHIFTs! God gave my

friend and fellow minister of the gospel,

Prophetess Latitia Rodgers the meaning

of SHIFT.

S ? Something

H ? Happens

I ? If

F ? Faith

There were many times when I would

have like to known about the shift before

it happened. But, the one thing I?ve come

to understand is that God does not give

us the details of our destiny. We have to

trust Him that He has it all under control

and that whatever He does is for our

good. As you go into 2019 don?t continue

to look back at those things you didn?t

accomplish in 2018. Look forward to the

SHIFT God has for you in 2019!

The PROBLEMS that you

encountered in 2018 were necessary for

the PROMOTION in 2019. The

OBSTACLES that you encounter in 2018

were necessary for the OPPORTUNITY

that He is going to put in front of you in

2019.

The STRUGGLES you

experienced in 2018 were necessary to

build your STRENGTH for the SHIFT

required from you in 2019. Prepare

yourself to go into 2019 with strength

and moving forward towards your

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