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SAMPLE Joke Book

A sample of our fundraising Joke Book for Schools

A sample of our fundraising Joke Book for Schools

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Sample<br />

<strong>Joke</strong><br />

<strong>Book</strong><br />

Written by the pupils<br />

of <strong>SAMPLE</strong> school


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Index<br />

Reception ........................................................................................................................................................ 4<br />

Year 1 ................................................................................................................................................................ 5<br />

Year 2 ................................................................................................................................................................ 6<br />

Year 3 ................................................................................................................................................................ 7<br />

Year 4 ............................................................................................................................................................ 8<br />

Year 5 ................................................................................................................................................................ 9<br />

Year 6 ................................................................................................................................................................ 10


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Reception<br />

What do you get if you cross mud with a young goat?<br />

A dirty kid!<br />

Janika, Age 4, Class RB<br />

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?<br />

Because he was outstanding in his field!<br />

Luke, Age 4, Class RB<br />

What do you call two bananas?<br />

A pair of slippers.<br />

Mia, Age 4, Class RB<br />

What did the snowman say to the other snowman?<br />

Can you smell carrots?<br />

Robert, Age 4, Class RB<br />

Knock, knock.<br />

Who’s there?<br />

Dinosaur.<br />

Dinosaur who?<br />

Dinosaurs don’t say who they say rrraaaaggghhhh!!!<br />

Connor, Age 4, Class RB<br />

Why does a penguin carry a fish in its beak?<br />

Because it doesn’t have any pockets.<br />

Jake, Age 4, Class RB<br />

What do you call a squashed orange?<br />

A flat-suma.<br />

Chloe, Age 5, Class RB<br />

Question: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?<br />

Answer: A dino-snore!!!<br />

Benjamin, Age 5, Class RB<br />

Please make me a crocodile sandwich....... and make it snappy!<br />

Daniel, Age 4, Class RB<br />

4


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Year 1<br />

How do you make an apple puff?<br />

Chase it round the garden.<br />

Joshua, Age 6, Class 1JL<br />

Question: What do cows see when they go to the cinema?<br />

Answer: Moooooovies.<br />

Daisy, Age 5, Class 1JL<br />

Why was the broom late for school?<br />

Because it over swept!<br />

Sophia, Age 5, Class 1JL<br />

Emily: Why did the M&M go to school?<br />

Mummy: I have no idea.<br />

Emily: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!<br />

Emily, Age 5, Class 1JL<br />

Why did the ice cream go to the doctors?<br />

Because he wasn't lickin’ good!<br />

Lola, Age 5, Class 1JL<br />

Knock, knock.<br />

Who’s there?<br />

Doctor.<br />

Doctor Who?<br />

Exactly!<br />

Kian, Age 5, Class 1JL<br />

What wobbles in the Sky?<br />

A jelly copter<br />

Jack, Age 6, Class 1JL<br />

Why did the cow jump over the moon?<br />

Because she had to go to the toilet!<br />

Alana, Age 5, Class 1JL<br />

5


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Year 2<br />

What do cats eat for breakfast?<br />

Mice Crispies!<br />

Harry, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

When Dad came home, he was amazed to see his son<br />

sitting on a horse, writing something.<br />

“What are you doing up there?” he asked.<br />

“Well, the teacher told us to write a story on our favourite animal.” replied the boy.<br />

Jessica, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

Why was Tyrone's pig called Ink?<br />

Because he kept running out of the pen!<br />

Tyrone, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

Why did the skeleton not go swimming?<br />

Because it had no body to go with!<br />

Luca, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

Why don’t I need to go to bed early?<br />

Because I don’t need any beauty sleep.<br />

Beatrice, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

What did the earwig say to the other earwig?<br />

Earwig go, earwig go, earwig go.<br />

Lola, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />

Banana. Banana Who?<br />

Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />

Banana. Banana Who?<br />

Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />

Orange. Orange who?<br />

Orange you pleased that I didn’t say banana again!<br />

Violet, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

What did the policeman say to his stomach?<br />

You’re under a vest!<br />

Emily, Age 6, Class 2AB<br />

6


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Year 3<br />

Q: Why did the belt get arrested?<br />

A: He held up a pair of pants.<br />

Samuel, Age 8, Class 3CB<br />

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?<br />

Bugs Bunny!<br />

Jack, Age 8, Class 3CB<br />

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.<br />

Really, what’s come over you?<br />

3 cars and a school bus.<br />

Grace, Age 7, Class 3CB<br />

A woman walked into the bank and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over!<br />

Sophia, Age 7, Class 3CB<br />

What do baby apes sleep in?<br />

Apricots!<br />

Evan, Age 8, Class 3CB<br />

What's the name of Santa's pet who<br />

deliver presents to all the dogs and cats?<br />

I don't know.<br />

Santa Paws!<br />

Katie, Age 7, Class 3CB<br />

Question: What do you call a lady with<br />

two toilets on her head?<br />

Answer: Lulu.<br />

Niamh, Age 7, Class 3CB<br />

Who invented the bicycle?<br />

I don’t know, but it was a wheely good idea.<br />

Layla, Age 7, Class 3CB<br />

What do you call a potato who wants to cross the road?<br />

A mash potato.<br />

Ines, Age 7, Class 3CB<br />

7


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Year 4<br />

What do pigs use when they are ill?<br />

Oinkment!<br />

Fraser, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

What is a witch’s favourite subject at school?<br />

Spelling!<br />

Loreto, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?<br />

Rocket!<br />

Jack, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

Q: Why do doughnuts go to Church?<br />

A: Because they are hole-y!<br />

Josephine, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

Who did Robin Hood marry?<br />

Little Red Riding Hood!<br />

Georgina, Age 9, Class 4CD<br />

Knock Knock!<br />

Who's there?<br />

Boo.<br />

Boo Hoo?<br />

Don't cry it's only a joke!<br />

Lauren, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

Question: What did the dog say when he sat on a piece of sandpaper?<br />

Answer: RRRRR U FFFFF<br />

Pearce, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

Why is 6 afraid of 7?<br />

Because 7 8 9.<br />

Violet, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

What did the big crisp say to the little crisp?<br />

Pack it in!<br />

Azaria, Age 8, Class 4CD<br />

8


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Year 5<br />

Question: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?<br />

Answer: He was declared to be in Seine.<br />

Mrs Davies, Class 5AD<br />

A man walks in to a pet shop and asks the assistant:<br />

“Can I buy a wasp please?”<br />

The assistant answers:<br />

“I'm afraid we don't sell wasps.”<br />

The man says:<br />

“But you have one in the window!”<br />

Oscar, Age 9, Class 5AD<br />

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline?<br />

A woolly jumper.<br />

Lewis, Age 10, Class 5AD<br />

What do daleks like to have for their starters?<br />

Dalek Bread!!!<br />

Ciara, Age 9, Class 5AD<br />

Question: What do Elves learn at school?<br />

Answer: The elf-abet.<br />

Ciaran, Age 9, Class 5AD<br />

What do you get when you cross a rotten egg with a giant gorilla?<br />

King Pong.<br />

Callum, Age 9, Class 5AD<br />

Mrs Davies: Don’t talk anymore in class Billy!<br />

Billy: I won’t, I’ll just talk the same amount.<br />

Ascala, Age 10, Class 5AD<br />

Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?<br />

Because he had nobody to dance with!<br />

Cian, Age 9, Class 5AD<br />

9


<strong>SAMPLE</strong> PRIMARY SCHOOL<br />

Year 6<br />

Teacher: You boy, name me two pronouns.<br />

Student: Who, me?<br />

Teacher: Correct!<br />

Joseph, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

Why are frogs so happy?<br />

They eat whatever bugs them.<br />

Leah, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

If you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other<br />

hand, what do you have? ……….. Big hands!<br />

Sophie, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

Will you remember me in a day, will you remember me in a week, will you remember<br />

me in a month, will you remember me in a year?<br />

Knock knock.<br />

Who's there?<br />

What....You've forgotten me already?!<br />

Scarlett, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

Teacher: “Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, ‘geometry.”’<br />

Little Johnny: “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said,<br />

“Gee, I’m a tree.”’<br />

Jorja, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

What is the cleverest species of dinosaur?<br />

A Theasaurus!<br />

Max, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

One day in class I put my hand up and said “Miss Harrison, would I be in trouble for<br />

something I haven’t done?”<br />

Miss Harrison said, “Of course not.” Then I said “Good because I haven’t done my<br />

homework.”<br />

Lucy, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

What do you call a dog that tells time?<br />

A watch dog!<br />

Alexander, Age 10, Class 6EH<br />

10


Fun<br />

Putting the<br />

My <strong>Book</strong> Project is part of<br />

back into Fundrai s i ng!<br />

the My Art Project Family<br />

www.myartproject.co.uk

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