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The Veteran - April Issue

The Veterans newspaper by the good people that bring you the Sandbag Times

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<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong><br />

In Support of <strong>The</strong> Tommy Atkins Centre<br />

18 <strong>April</strong> 2019 www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

NEWS UPDATE FROM<br />

THE SANDBAG TIMES<br />

Official Magazine to AFVBC’s<br />

Soldier who 'glassed'<br />

pal in Magaluf freed<br />

witness recalls seeing Glasgow woman slump to ground<br />

Dragon Den Star<br />

Offers Free Gym<br />

for <strong>Veteran</strong>s<br />

Story: <strong>The</strong> Daily Record<br />

Story: Cornwall Live<br />

Armed Forces veterans<br />

with PTSD are being<br />

offered free gym<br />

membership by <strong>The</strong> former<br />

Dragons’ Den star Duncan<br />

Bannatyne - who has<br />

called on the Government<br />

to do more to help military<br />

personnel.<br />

RAF Take On <strong>The</strong><br />

Gherkin<br />

BTCC Latest News<br />

12<br />

<strong>The</strong> 70-year-old, who<br />

served in the Royal Navy of<br />

six years after joining aged<br />

16, also put his money<br />

where his mouth is - by<br />

offering free gym<br />

memberships at all 72<br />

Bannatyne Health Clubs to<br />

veterans with posttraumatic<br />

stress disorder.<br />

Duncan told the Sunday<br />

People: "I truly believe our<br />

armed forces are the best<br />

in the world. I think they do<br />

an amazing job and the<br />

bravery that comes with<br />

doing the job they do is<br />

outstanding.<br />

"If I can help in a small way<br />

such as giving a free<br />

membership to help<br />

combat PTSD, then I am<br />

more than happy to do that.<br />

<strong>The</strong> soldier accused of<br />

glassing her Scots pal<br />

who in Magaluf has been<br />

released from prison.<br />

Sarah Ann Garrity, 22, suffered<br />

serious injuries in the incident<br />

and had emergency surgery<br />

before her pal Sydney Cole, 19,<br />

was arrested on suspicion of<br />

wounding with a dangerous<br />

weapon.<br />

Yesterday, Sarah, who is in the<br />

Royal Logistic Corps, told court<br />

officials from her hospital bed<br />

that she is not making a formal<br />

complaint against Cole.<br />

She waived her right to claim<br />

compensation or launch a<br />

private prosecution against Cole<br />

if she’s found guilty of any<br />

wrongdoing after a trial.<br />

<strong>The</strong> alleged attacker told the<br />

court that the brawl at Banana’s<br />

nightclub in Magaluf was an<br />

accident.<br />

Read more here...<br />

SBT Reports<br />

7<br />

Mrs Fox Goes To War<br />

15<br />

Agony Aunt, Hilda Ffinch<br />

Answers your Letters<br />

Page 11<br />

SUBSCRIBE<br />

FREE TO THE<br />

SANDBAG<br />

TIMES TODAY<br />

Read more here...<br />

www.sandbagrimes.co.uk<br />

info@sandbagtimes.com<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

1


<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong> 18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

FIND US ON: FACEBOOK TWITTER LINKEDIN<br />

Pieces Of Missing Japanese F-35<br />

Fighter Jet Found: Pilot Still Missing<br />

Story: NPR.org Image: Ross D. Franklin/AP<br />

Japan's military has<br />

confirmed that one of its<br />

F-35A jet fighters has<br />

crashed in the Pacific Ocean<br />

during a training exercise.<br />

National broadcaster NHK<br />

reports that search crews<br />

have recovered part of the<br />

plane's tail.<br />

As of midday Wednesday in<br />

Japan, the plane's pilot,<br />

reportedly in his 40s, was still<br />

missing. It is not clear whether<br />

he ejected before the plane<br />

crashed. NHK quotes Defense<br />

Minister Takeshi Iwaya as<br />

saying that the military is<br />

focusing on rescuing the pilot<br />

and investigating the cause of<br />

the crash. He added that the<br />

U.S. military is assisting with<br />

the search.<br />

<strong>The</strong> crash has raised<br />

concerns both about the<br />

safety of the F-35, which<br />

Japan plans to adopt as the<br />

mainstay of its air force, and<br />

the possible intelligence<br />

windfall that any foreign<br />

government could score, in<br />

the event that they could beat<br />

Japanese or U.S. search<br />

crews to the missing plane's<br />

wreckage.<br />

<strong>The</strong> plane took off from<br />

Misawa airbase in northeast<br />

Japan's Aomori prefecture<br />

around 7 p.m. for a combat<br />

training exercise with three<br />

other jets. <strong>The</strong>re were no<br />

signs of any problem until a<br />

half-hour later, when the pilot<br />

communicated that he was<br />

calling off the mission. <strong>The</strong><br />

plane then disappeared from<br />

the radar, roughly 80 miles<br />

east of Misawa.<br />

Misawa is home to both U.S.<br />

and Japanese air forces. It is<br />

also reportedly a center for<br />

the allies to collect signals<br />

intelligence. It is home to<br />

Japan's first squadron of F-<br />

35A fighters, which began<br />

operations just last month.<br />

Read more here...<br />

War veteran 'ordered' to take down Union Jack flag<br />

Story: Talk Radio Reporter: Samantha King<br />

A Gulf War veteran who flew a Union<br />

Jack flag in his garden says he has been<br />

ordered to take it down after a neighbour<br />

complained.<br />

Andrew Smith installed the 5ft-tall flag in<br />

his garden as a tribute to Great Britain,<br />

after serving six years in the Royal Signals.<br />

<strong>The</strong> 51-year-old says he has since received<br />

a letter from housing developer<br />

Harron Homes ordering him to take it<br />

down or face legal action.<br />

“I can’t see why a Union Jack flag is offensive.<br />

Why would you be offended by<br />

patriotism?" Mr Smith said.<br />

“We have become soft and don’t want to<br />

upset other people, whereas I have done<br />

my bit for my country and I’m proud to be<br />

British.<br />

“I went to war for my country. It’s something<br />

close to my heart and every morning<br />

I feel like saluting it. We are becoming<br />

weak and spineless. Who are they to tell<br />

me not to fly the flag?”<br />

Project manager Mr Smith says he intermittently<br />

switches the Union Jack with the<br />

England flag, which he puts up during<br />

football and rugby matches.<br />

He added that he had the flag displayed<br />

for 10 years in his previous property without<br />

incident.<br />

Harron Homes declined to comment.<br />

2 www.sandbagtimes.co.uk


18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

Armed Forces & <strong>Veteran</strong>s News...<br />

Red Arrows call in former<br />

pilot after Red 3 breaks leg<br />

Story: <strong>The</strong> Telegraph Image: Danny Lawson/PA<br />

<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong><br />

RAF Cosford expansion comes<br />

amid major development<br />

Story: Shropshire Star<br />

Currently Shropshire<br />

Council is investigating the<br />

possibility of allowing<br />

developers to create a new<br />

3,000 home town on land<br />

at Tong, near to Cosford,<br />

and next to the M54.<br />

<strong>The</strong> proposal, which<br />

comes under plans for<br />

what the council calls the<br />

'M54 corridor', also<br />

includes around 50<br />

Image: RAF Cosford<br />

hectares of employment<br />

land. It will go out to<br />

consultation later this year.<br />

In reports outlining the<br />

plan, which has been put<br />

forward by land owner <strong>The</strong><br />

Bradford Estates, council<br />

officers said the<br />

development would be<br />

related to RAF Cosford.<br />

Read more here...<br />

<strong>The</strong> Red Arrows have had to<br />

call a former team member<br />

out of retirement after one<br />

of the pilots broke his leg playing<br />

football.<br />

Making the announcement on<br />

Twitter, Squadron Leader Martin<br />

Pert, the team leader, said the<br />

iconic aerobatic display team has<br />

had to call up recently-retired<br />

Flight Lieutenant (Flt Lt) Mike<br />

Bowden to fill the seat vacated by<br />

Flt Lt Dave Simmonds.<br />

Whilst keen to stress that Flt Lt<br />

Simmonds, known by his callsign<br />

of Red 3, “very much remains<br />

part of the Red Arrows family”,<br />

the team leader announced his<br />

injury with a twinkle in his eye.<br />

“His knee injury, which was<br />

sustained as he turned to chase<br />

a football, with no contact with<br />

anyone else in the game, does<br />

involve broken bones,” he said.<br />

Read more here...<br />

Army <strong>Veteran</strong> Dies Surrounded by DWP<br />

Letters<br />

Story: Teeside Live<br />

British Army recruitment slumps by a<br />

third<br />

Story: INews by Jane Clinton<br />

British frontline army<br />

units have suffered a recruitment<br />

slump of up to<br />

a third, casting doubt<br />

over their capability for<br />

action. <strong>The</strong> figures<br />

were published in response<br />

to a parliamentary<br />

question by the MP<br />

Mark Francois who is<br />

also a member of the<br />

defence select committee.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Scots Guards,<br />

1st Battalion, only had<br />

460 personnel in October<br />

last year. This is<br />

34% below its 697<br />

workforce requirement.<br />

Read more here...<br />

Aheartbroken mum<br />

claims her ex-soldier<br />

son was “expendable”<br />

and died<br />

without the support he<br />

needed.<br />

Craig Scott was haunted<br />

by the faces of people<br />

he killed while on tour<br />

with the British Army in<br />

Afghanistan, an inquest<br />

heard.<br />

Isolated and struggling<br />

to cope with life away<br />

from the forces, he died<br />

in his Thornaby bedroom<br />

surrounded by medication,<br />

empty cans of alcohol<br />

and benefit sanction<br />

letters from the DWP.<br />

Now his mother Denise<br />

has blasted the Government’s<br />

failure to support<br />

her son and called for<br />

action to help others.<br />

“It’s too late for Craig,<br />

but all I want is more<br />

support for army personnel,”<br />

she said.<br />

“When they need it, they<br />

need it. <strong>The</strong>y are trained<br />

not to be weak and ask<br />

for help. But it’s not<br />

weak.<br />

“<strong>The</strong>y have been in traumatic<br />

situations. <strong>The</strong>y<br />

have seen things we<br />

can’t even imagine.<br />

“He saw atrocities. It<br />

made his mark on him -<br />

and he never got over it,<br />

never.”<br />

Read more on this story<br />

here...<br />

SBT News View...<br />

Every time I here<br />

that a veteran has<br />

been let down by<br />

the system, it gets<br />

my temper racing.<br />

Working locally<br />

with our own system<br />

has made me<br />

realised just how<br />

flawed the care<br />

system really is. It<br />

is so tragic that<br />

families are left<br />

with no answers<br />

after losing their<br />

loved ones in this<br />

cold and unfeeling<br />

system where<br />

computers and<br />

legislation dictates<br />

how humans are<br />

treated. It is a very<br />

sad way to live and<br />

should not happen.<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

3


18JH144<br />

COFFEE, CAKE &<br />

TORQUAY<br />

COMBAT STRESS<br />

Come and 昀 nd out more about Combat Stress, the UK’s leading charity<br />

for veteran’s mental health.<br />

Join us for a hot drink, a slice of cake and talks on how we support<br />

veterans and the ways you can help.<br />

Thursday 9 May 2019<br />

12pm–2pm<br />

RAFA Club,<br />

7 Scarborough Road, Torquay, TQ2 5UJ<br />

To 昀 nd out more please contact Sarah Seddon by calling<br />

01372 587 144 or emailing sarah.seddon@combatstress.org.uk<br />

combatstress.org.uk/coffeecake<br />

This is a fundraising awareness event. If you are a veteran struggling<br />

with your mental health, please contact our free 24-hour Helpline<br />

by calling 0800 138 1619, texting 07537 404 719 or emailing<br />

helpline@combatstress.org.uk<br />

Company registered in England and Wales No 256353, Charity No 206002, Charity Scotland No SC038828.


<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong> 18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

Leading from the front<br />

in<br />

Matt Neal<br />

Patron and 3 time BTCC Champion.<br />

Winner of the 60th ‘Double Diamond’ BTCC Anniversary Race<br />

“Life is short and we need to live that life to the maximum, the freedom we enjoy in the UK is in no uncertain part down<br />

to our armed forces, whether active, retired or recuperating and that is why I am so proud to be a Patron of the Sandbag<br />

Times. What you do and have done for this country goes beyond words…”<br />

2019 BTCC Sponsorship packages now available!<br />

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385,000 ABC1 Spectators per season<br />

1 Billion Global TV Audience – 20 Million UK TV Audience<br />

For more information contact Ben Durrell - Sponsorship Manager on:<br />

01905 793800 | Email: bd@tdm.uk.com | www.tdm.uk.com<br />

Over 1 Million social media followers<br />

Unrivalled Hospitality & Networking opportunities.<br />

FOLLOWERS<br />

TeamDynamics @teamdynamics Team Dynamics Motorsport Ltd<br />

@team_dynamics_motorsport<br />

VAT registration no. GB 223 8311 34, Registered in England no. 7193279<br />

6<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk


18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong><br />

Off <strong>The</strong> Grid<br />

Drivers fired up as Honda BTCC team heads to Donington Park<br />

scored his first BTCC podium at the 2018 Donington meeting, in<br />

only the second weekend in the championship for both him and<br />

the Honda Civic Type R FK8 race car.<br />

Honda BTCC drivers Matt Neal and Dan Cammish are fired up<br />

and optimistic as the British Touring Car Championship heads to<br />

its second meeting of the season at Donington Park. <strong>The</strong> team<br />

emerged from the opening rounds of the championship with the<br />

lead in the manufacturers title chase, despite challenging and<br />

frustrating races for both drivers in which constantly changing<br />

weather wrecked carefully honed race strategy. <strong>The</strong> Halfords<br />

Yuasa Racing team considers Donington, where rounds 4, 5<br />

and 6 of the BTCC will take place on Sunday 28th <strong>April</strong>, as its<br />

home circuit, and has enjoyed much success around the fast<br />

curves of the two-mile Leicestershire venue over the years. In<br />

nine seasons as the official Honda manufacturer entry, the team<br />

has won nine races at Donington. <strong>The</strong> circuit also holds fond<br />

memories for Matt Neal, who took his first BTCC race win at<br />

Donington in 1999 and the first overall win for an independent,<br />

earning him a cheque for £250,000. Dan Cammish, meanwhile,<br />

Matt Neal - Halfords Yuasa Racing driver and Team Dynamics<br />

Director<br />

"Brands Hatch really was a case of what could have been! We<br />

had a strong car under us all weekend and in Race 1 I was<br />

pleased, with the changing conditions, to finish the highest of<br />

the wet tyre runners. Race 3 I felt, even with the option tyre, that<br />

we could have had our first race win of the season, but<br />

unfortunately with the contact with Tom Chilton and then later<br />

with Stephen Jelley I was driving a wounded car and was lucky<br />

to finish where I did! Donington we class as our 'local' circuit<br />

for the team and I'm confident that we can hit the ground<br />

running. It is a proper driver's circuit and one that suits the<br />

Honda Civic FK8 with its high-speed corners. It's also a circuit<br />

that holds special memories for me after winning my first race<br />

here in 1999."<br />

Dan Cammish - Halfords Yuasa Racing driver<br />

"Brands was another character-building weekend for me! <strong>The</strong><br />

times are so tight now across the board and particularly on the<br />

Brands Indy circuit, it was difficult to make progress through the<br />

field. But I go to Donington hoping that I can replicate my first<br />

podium of the year as I did last year.<br />

Donington is a fast-flowing circuit that suits both my driving<br />

style and the car, so I'm hopeful for a good points haul to carry<br />

me back up the drivers table and to help our Team and<br />

Manufacturer positions. Bring on the weekend!"<br />

OUT NOW!!<br />

<strong>The</strong> SBT’s Team Dynamics<br />

2019 Season Guide. All of<br />

the circuits, the drivers, the<br />

car and so much more...<br />

Don’t miss it!<br />

BTCC 2019<br />

Your Guide to the 2019 BTCC Season. <strong>The</strong><br />

Team, the Drivers, the Car and the Circuits<br />

SEASON MAGAZINE<br />

www.teamdynamicsmotorsport.co.uk<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

7


<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong><br />

Round 1: Brands Hatch<br />

Bumps, Bruises and Bags of Drama...<br />

Could we have seriously hoped for a<br />

more exciting and fitting start to<br />

the Kwikfit BTCC 2019? Personally,<br />

I very much doubt it.<br />

<strong>The</strong> weather, tyres and track conditions<br />

threw the teams battle plans completely out<br />

of the window right from the qualifying<br />

to the end of the third race on Sunday.<br />

<strong>The</strong> great thing for me was the complete<br />

unpredictability of the entire event. All of<br />

my pre-race predictions disappeared in a<br />

cloud of dust as the Race Gods intervened.<br />

Saturday proved to be a struggle for all of<br />

the teams with conditions meaning once<br />

a fast lap or two had been done, the tyres<br />

were incapable of any more. It did have a<br />

little leveling effect for all of the teams as<br />

they struggled to improve times. In the<br />

end, a fabulous lap by Ash Sutton proved<br />

enoiugh for pole.<br />

So on to Sunday, we woke to a fog bound<br />

Brands, casting doubts on the timings for<br />

the day but thankfully, the cars set off on<br />

their warm up lap just five minutes later<br />

than scheduled. <strong>The</strong> front of the field<br />

starting on wets on a damp track with<br />

many of the slower teams chancing slicks.<br />

Hold on, am I experiencing Deja Vu? This<br />

is what happened last year, isn’t it. And, lo<br />

and behold, history repeated itself as the<br />

wets dropped off in the drying conditions<br />

leaving those on dry tyres to cruise past. I<br />

do have to say at this point, the drive of the<br />

day, in my opinion, happened in this race<br />

as Matt Neal finished in eighth, the front<br />

runner on wets. Cracking bit of racecraft<br />

Mr Neal.<br />

<strong>The</strong> first race concluded with Josh Cook in<br />

the BTC Honda taking the chequred flag<br />

with Jake Hill and Tom Chilton completing<br />

the podium.<br />

Race two began with all teams on the dry<br />

tyres despite the conditions still playing<br />

mind games. You’ve just got to love the<br />

unplann<br />

that get<br />

testing,<br />

Anyway<br />

watch in<br />

Ash Sut<br />

machin<br />

problem<br />

over the<br />

Ash stil<br />

of perfo<br />

epic bat<br />

Thomp<br />

of other<br />

runners<br />

| 09 www.sandbagtimes.co.uk


BTCC<br />

ed and unpredictable obstacles<br />

in the way of our boys, Character<br />

I say.<br />

, on to the action. <strong>The</strong> boy to<br />

this race, for me, was yet again,<br />

ton. <strong>The</strong> Suburu is not the fastest<br />

e on the circuit at the moment, a<br />

that they have tried to conquer<br />

winter but despite the handicap,<br />

l finds a way to squeeze every ounce<br />

rmance out of it, <strong>The</strong>re were some<br />

tles between Sutton, Jordan and<br />

on in the early stages with plenty<br />

drama unfolding behind the front<br />

. An emotional Andrew Jordan<br />

crossed the finishing line to take his first<br />

victory of 2019 with Ash Sutton second<br />

and Adam Morgan, just a hairs breadth<br />

behind him in third.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Reverse Grid draw put Matt Neal on<br />

pole for race three with Matt having to<br />

start on the soft option tyre which was not<br />

performing at the short Brands circuit.<br />

This race was packed with action from start<br />

to finish with most of the action being at<br />

the sharp end, However mid pack drama<br />

unfolded when Ash Sutton was spun off<br />

into the barrier by Jake Hill. <strong>The</strong> Battle<br />

up front between Matt Neal, Tom Chilton,<br />

Stephen Jelley and Rory Butcher was just<br />

class until Mat took a rear end smack firstly<br />

by Tom Chilton who gained an unfair<br />

advantage in the move, and then later by<br />

Stephen Jelley. <strong>The</strong> fight continued for<br />

third between Neal and Jelley right up to<br />

the third lap when the suspension finally<br />

gave way on the Honda due to the earlier<br />

battle damage. Despite this, sparks flying,<br />

Neal still managed to drag the stricken<br />

FK8 home in 8th. Although Chilton took<br />

the flag, the victory was handed to Rory<br />

Butcher due to the contact with Neal,<br />

giving Rory his first ever BTCC win.<br />

So time now to catch our breath before the<br />

next round at Donnington. See you there.<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

Images: Jakob Ebrey Photography<br />

10 |


<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong> 18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

If At First You Don’t Succeed...<br />

Just for this edition, I am returning to the ‘Have Faith’ spot to<br />

give our Andy a little break but he will be back for the <strong>Veteran</strong><br />

mid-month.<br />

I wanted to reflect this month on something that I feel is close to<br />

every veterans heart, the will to go on. I think that it’s fair to say<br />

that all of us that have served in the Armed Forces, have at<br />

some point had to find that extra-something else to get us<br />

through difficult circumstances. We all have that pig-headed<br />

stubbornness to succeed which usually started coming out during<br />

our basic training. But it’s not just us old vets that possess<br />

this trait. Every human that is born has it, without exception.<br />

never to be beat. But believe it or not, there is very little difference<br />

in the two, just choices. We all have the same tools to<br />

succeed and to fail.<br />

For all that are struggling, about to undertake a struggle or<br />

hardship, I would like to share a passage with you which I believe<br />

can give each and everyone of us strength to succeed.<br />

Hebrews 12: 1-3<br />

1 <strong>The</strong>refore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of<br />

witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin<br />

that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the<br />

race marked out for us,<br />

<strong>The</strong> reason why I am speaking about this come from our SAS<br />

competitors about to walk in to the Lion’s Den, Yes, they are all<br />

volunteers about to be thrust in front of the TV cameras which<br />

will have very positive impacts on their careers (we hope) but<br />

the driving factor is to actually help many suffering people. To<br />

do this, they will have to undergo an awful lot of hardship in<br />

which they will question themselves over and over again. But<br />

we do know that at the end, one or two will have pushed on<br />

through to conquer the course. Of course, no matter how hard<br />

this will seem, it will be little in comparison to those they are trying<br />

to help. Maybe people reading this article, are going<br />

through this very thing. I do hope not.<br />

2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.<br />

For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its<br />

shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.<br />

3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so<br />

that you will not grow weary and lose heart.<br />

As for our competitors, yes their race has been run and what we<br />

will watch is merely a recording but when you watch, take<br />

strength in how they overcome their demons. After all, a good<br />

place to start having faith is to have faith in ourselves.<br />

I think we can all recall times where we have wanted to give up<br />

but have stuck with it so I suppose this reflection is just that.<br />

Don’t give up.<br />

Our strength, as humans, is exceptional. Our choices of how to<br />

use that strength is what defines us. Some of us give up<br />

sooner than others but most of the time it is just because we<br />

lose sight of our goal or forget what we are fighting for.<br />

Some of dig in and refuse to give up and drive on, determined<br />

8 www.sandbagtimes.co.uk


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<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong> 18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

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<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong> 18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

14 www.sandbagtimes.co.uk


18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong><br />

jêë=cçñ=dçÉë<br />

qç=t~êKKK<br />

<strong>The</strong> Chronicles of Little Hope<br />

1939 - 1945<br />

Hilda Ffinch:<br />

<strong>The</strong> Bird With All <strong>The</strong> Answers<br />

Hilda Ffinch, Little Hope's very own Agony Aunt (page<br />

5 of the Little Hope Herald) was easily bored and terribly<br />

rich. She loved nothing better than taking on the<br />

problems of others and either sorting them out or<br />

claiming that she'd never heard of them if it all went<br />

tits up and they had to leave the district under cover<br />

of darkness having followed her sage advice.<br />

Letter Of <strong>The</strong> Month<br />

ment in time) and been shot at by the Home Guard for<br />

snipping your way through their acres of expertly coiled<br />

barbed wire in order to paddle in the brutal North Sea,<br />

might I suggest that you perhaps look inland for your Summer<br />

holiday this year, given that we are at war and the<br />

chances of you being surprised by a random periscope<br />

whilst taking a dip are greater than ever before?<br />

In my opinion, there is nothing quite so unbecomes a man<br />

as the moment when he decides it is acceptable to casually<br />

remove his boots and socks, roll both trouser legs up to his<br />

pale, cadaverous knees and set about causing old maids<br />

to blush, dogs to bark and seagulls to swoop in with beaks<br />

full of nesting materials. I wonder, do you perchance remove<br />

your shirt and don a knotted handkerchief (preferably<br />

clean) when engaging in your particularly uninviting<br />

Summer ritual? If you’re after impressing the fairer sex with<br />

such a display then you’re most certainly barking up the<br />

wrong tree, my good man, they’ll turn their affections to the<br />

aforementioned yapping dog first and you’ll not be able to<br />

shoo the thing off, no matter how big your bone.<br />

In short, Mr Sandy Balls, the seaside look is not an attractive<br />

look. You may well succeed in getting your paraphernalia<br />

up, as you put it, but you’ll be fiddling with it on your<br />

own – presupposing that you haven’t had it grabbed by the<br />

long arm of the law for endangering national security first.<br />

Our prisons are full of felons so desperate for the sight of a<br />

bare leg or an anaemic knee that yours may well set them<br />

off and spark a riot, why risk unsettling them?<br />

Dear Mrs Ffinch,<br />

Bit concerned about the annual holiday. Usually go to<br />

Cleethorpes but the beach is jam packed with crocodile<br />

teeth. No chance of getting anything up, deckchair’s out<br />

of the question, never mind the rest of my paraphernalia<br />

to impress the ladies.<br />

Aberystwyth any better?<br />

Yours faithfully<br />

Mr Sandy Balls<br />

Take to the open roads, dear man and breathe in the country<br />

air instead! Why not get yourself togged up in some sensible<br />

plus-fours and a golfing cap and try swinging with a<br />

party of friends? It’s so much more pleasurable than catching<br />

crabs at the beach.<br />

Yours,<br />

Hilda Ffinch,<br />

<strong>The</strong> Bird With All <strong>The</strong> Answers<br />

P.S. Avoid Aberystwyth at all costs, Wales is terribly cold at<br />

this time of year and periscope chaffing is rife in the Irish<br />

Sea at the moment.<br />

Dear Mr Balls,<br />

I do so hope that you mean ‘Dragon’s Teeth’ my dear man,<br />

otherwise one of us had best telephone the RSPCA and have<br />

the entire east coast of England evacuated.<br />

You can catch more of Mrs Fox and Friends at<br />

www.mrsfoxgoestowar.co.uk or on Twitter<br />

@mrslaviniafox<br />

Assuming that you haven’t already cracked open your holiday<br />

gin (I’m speculating 50/50 on that at this precise mo-<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

115


<strong>The</strong> <strong>Veteran</strong> 18 <strong>April</strong> 2019<br />

Charity Challenge: RAF Personnel<br />

Take On Lofty London Landmark<br />

<strong>The</strong> four are scaling the stairs of the Gherkin to raise<br />

money for the RAF Benevolent Fund<br />

Story: Forces.Net<br />

Four RAF personnel are taking<br />

on a daring challenge this year<br />

- to climb the 38 floors, 180<br />

metres and more than 1,000<br />

steps of the Gherkin in<br />

London.<br />

It is arguably the most<br />

instantly-recognised tower in<br />

the city.<br />

<strong>The</strong> aim of those taking part is<br />

to scale the building 50 times,<br />

raising money for the RAF<br />

Benevolent Fund.<br />

<strong>The</strong> challenge, which started<br />

10 years ago, and has seen<br />

more than 6,000 people take<br />

part.<br />

Some have termed it "the<br />

stairway to hell."<br />

Senior Aircraftman Anna<br />

Duckett, RAF Northolt, said:<br />

"<strong>The</strong>y've been supporting the<br />

RAF, service personnel,<br />

veterans, their families for 100<br />

years so it's a nice marker for<br />

us to say thank you."<br />

Regional organiser, from the<br />

RAF Benevolent Fund,<br />

Charlotte Barmby was full of<br />

praise for the participants:<br />

"It's a really tough challenge.<br />

"You've got no windows,<br />

you've got no air-conditioning,<br />

and you're constantly spiralling<br />

up the building, so good on<br />

them for giving it a go."<br />

"We have all sorts of people<br />

doing all sorts of different<br />

things to raise money for the<br />

RAF benevolent fund, but this<br />

is one of those events that<br />

really stood out.<br />

"It was completely unique, at a<br />

really famous London<br />

landmark to celebrate the 100<br />

years of the Royal Air Force - it<br />

was just the perfect<br />

combination to do something<br />

different and raise money for a<br />

good cause so I was really<br />

excited to work with them on<br />

it."<br />

Read the article here...<br />

<strong>The</strong> Sandbag Times<br />

<strong>The</strong> UK’s No:1 <strong>Veteran</strong>s Magazine<br />

www.sandbagtimes.co.uk<br />

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