5und4y_5p0r7_01.6.2019.

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ON SALE SUNDAY, MONDAY & TUESDAY

January 6, 2019 £1

(on sale until Tuesday, Jan 8, 2019)

FREE

TODAY

SHOWBIZ

BABES

TOPLESS &

NAKED!

6-PAGE

SPECIAL

Leah

Francis

goes

NUDE!

MUM CAGED

FOR SEX

WITH MONKEY

PAGE

25

I’M HOLLY W’s

NUMBER ONE FAN

…and I’m TOPLESS on page 12


2 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

THIS WEEK’S

NIPPLE

COUNT

IS . . .

GOT A STORY?

142

Then call our

newsdesk on:

0800 4725407 or email

simon@sundaysport.co.uk

WE PAY CASH

TODAY’S WEATHER

Squaddies mock

Army campaign

FURIOUS soldiers have taken aim at the

Army’s latest recruitment drive calling on

snowflakes, phone zombies and selfie

addicts to sign up.

The adverts, unveiled on Thursday, are

inspired by the famous First World War poster

featuring a pointing Lord Kitchener and the

slogan ‘Your country needs you’.

But servicemen

and women have

begun sharing

edited versions of

the recruitment

drive posters

mocking the

intended targets.

Talent

The £1.5million

campaign shows

six soldiers with

labels of modern

stereotypes like

‘millennials’ and

‘phone zombies’

in a bid to appeal

to a wider pool of

talent.

But one of the

mock-up posters

replaces the word

‘snowflakes’

with ‘any f**ker’

adding ‘we’re

desperate’ at the

end of the ‘your

army needs you’

slogan.

DEANO ON SUNDAY – PAGE 25

SOLD OUT

GABRIELLE

SAINT

32, 32G-25-36,

from Edinburgh

MILD AND DAMP

IT will be rather cloudy and damp

across England and Wales today but

brighter for northern parts.

Winds will be picking up a shade but

it will remain mild for most and not too

desperately cold.

Temperatures of 7C in London

9C in Cardiff, 8C in Manchester and in

Belfast and 4C in Edinburgh.

Mostly cloudy on Monday with some

wind and rain in the north and west.

Temperatures of 7C in London

6C in Cardiff, 7C in Manchester, 9C in

Belfast and 8C in Edinburgh.

OUTLOOK: Getting brighter.

TUES

Fair

WED

Bright

THURS

Damper

SORRY FOLKS,

2019

CALENDARS ARE

SOLD OUT

We’re unable to accept any new

calendar orders after today

Don’t worry – the 2020

calendar will go on sale

at the end of October!


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January 6, 2019 3

ISLE BE

THERE:

Lauren is in

line to be

invited on

the show

Lauren

headed

for Love

Island

BREAST PLACE TO

BE: Lauren would

be sure to get ’em

out on Love Island

GREEN LIGHT AFTER

SHOW EMBRACES DIVERSITY

TRANS beauty and activist

Lauren Harries is set to join

Love Island later this year after

producers vowed to increase

the diversity of contestants.

The shows bosses are said to

be encouraging intersex and

non-binary individuals to apply for

the 2019 series.

And that gives the green light to

41-year-old Lauren, who was born

James and who found fame aged 10 as

an antiques expert who appeared on

Pantie perv’s mucky escape

A 54-YEAR-OLD pervert narrowly escaped with

his life after being caught carrying a bin liner

packed with stolen ladies’ panties, stockings,

tights and even used monthlywear.

Kayode Micheal was almost lynched by a

mob in Bangalore, India, before cops came to

the rescue by arresting the sicko and charging

him with theft and lurking.

By BARNEY SAMUELS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

the Wogan chat show. A source close

to Love Island said: “There has been

criticism that it selects a very narrow

range of contestants and it’s time to

improve diversity.

“Lauren, who is one of the best

known trans personalities in Britain,

would tick so many boxes. And she

looks great on a beach!”

It was announced last week that the

hit reality show had opened its

application process and asked

potential contestants whether

they identify as “male, female,

non-binary or intersex”.

Intersex people are born with

any of several variations of

male and female genitalia while

non-binary people don’t fall

into strict gender category.

The much-loved ITV2 series

has faced criticism for focusing

on heterosexual relationships

to the exclusion of others.


4 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

HE TAKES

ALL THE

WEEK’S

NEWS &

PULLS ITS

PANTS

DOWN

MONDAY

HOME Secretary Sajid

Javid deploys a pair of

warships to stop migrants

crossing the English

Channel in crappy little

inflatable boats.

Many Brits are

worried the migrants

will take their jobs.

And politicians like

Javid are worried that

the dinghies – full of hot

air, not fit for purpose

and well out of their

depth – will take theirs.

WEDNESDAY

EX-POP crooner Jimmy

Osmond has a stroke while

performing in a pantomime.

Just to be clear – we mean

he suffered a small brain

haemorrhage.

That’s VERY different to

the time Leslie Grantham

“had a stroke” during panto

season – which involved a

webcam, some lubrication

and a Captain Hook costume

in need of dry cleaning.

THE bakery chain Greggs

introduces a new VEGAN

version of its sausage roll

– prompting a FURIOUS

response from telly

gobshite Piers Morgan.

He prefers the

traditional sausage roll.

Mainly because munching

on assorted arseholes is

great practice for his interviewing technique

on his embarrassing ITV show Life Stories.

FRIDAY

TUESDAY

THURSDAY

TELLY chef Jamie Oliver reveals

that he offered to arrange the

catering for the wedding of

Prince Harry and Meghan

Markle – but that he never

even received a response.

Come on, Jamie. That was

never going to happen, was it?

The Royals had already

agreed to let black people

attend the wedding. They

were never going to let

someone from Essex in too.

THE classic World

War Two submarine

thriller Das Boot is

to be remade with

a female cast, it is

revealed.

The plot will be

exactly the same apart from the tense scenes

in which the crew must remain perfectly

silent for minutes at a time – because you can

only stretch people’s imaginations so far.

Oh yeah, and good luck getting 20 women to

wear a rollneck sweater without complaining

that it makes their face look fat.

SATURDAY

DOCTORS perform emergency surgery

on a man who got a can of Glade air

freshener stuck up his bum during

saucy fun with his wife.

Well, he’s not the first fella to enjoy

playing with his aerosol.

But he might be the first to release a

cloud of apple and cinnamon freshness

every time he bent over to tie his

shoelaces.

Busty

Chloe

gets

a bit

lippy!

ALL eyes were on Geordie

Shore babe Chloe Ferry’s

amazing cleavage as she

enjoyed a date night with

her boyfriend Sam

Gowland.

But then sharp-eyed

onlookers got a glimpse of

the 23-year-old’s meaty

camel toe.

One fan said: “It looked

like a hungry horse down

there – and I would be glad

to have fed it my oats!

Brrrrngh!”

BOTTOM OF

TABLE: Pete

once made

£1,000 a

day but now

sells his

bum for £10


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 5

WENGER TRANNY

HOOKER SELLS

SEX FOR £10

(…and yes, he takes it up the Arsene!)

By BARNEY SAMUELS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

AN Arsene Wenger lookalike last

night told how he is forced to rent

his arse at just £10 a pop to make

a living after his doppelganger

stepped out of the limelight.

Frenchman Wenger held the reins

at Arsenal football club from 1996 to

2018, and became the longest-serving

and most successful manager in their

history.

Two years after taking over, he led

them to a league and FA Cup double. The

club won another league and cup double

in 2002 and retained the FA Cup a year

later. In 2004, Wenger managed Arsenal

to an undefeated league season, a feat

last accomplished by Preston North End,

115 years previously.

He guided Arsenal to further FA Cup

success in 2014, 2015 and 2017, before

stepping down as manager a year later.

Celebrating every triumph along the

way was Pete Stoate who, thanks to an

accident of birth and genetics, is the

spitting image of the football legend.

Pete, now 65, said: “I’m a Spurs fan but

soon after Wenger took over at what was

then Highbury, someone said to me that

I looked just like him.

“I thought they were just taking the

piss but more and more people soon

mentioned the similarity.

Serious

“As it happened, I’d just been fired

from my job at a cat sanctuary due to a

misunderstanding, so was looking for a

new position.

“I decided to take the bull by the horns

and make a living as a Wenger lookalike.

My Spurs mates were aghast and some

have never spoken to me since that day.

“But my business took off and soon I

was doing five or even six bookings a

week. The corporate ones were the best

– they paid up to £1,000 a go and it was

easy money. Just standing there looking

serious in a coat.”

As the silverware piled up at Arsenal,

so Pete’s bank balance swelled.

He said: “I got myself a caravan at

Margate and a classic TR7 to drive about

in. Birds threw themselves at me and I

don’t think I went to bed with a dry cock

for 10 years.

“I wrote to Arsene a few times to thank

him for the good fortune he’d brought me

but he never got back. I’m not sure if he

quite approved of me making money by

being his lookalike.”

But when it became clear that Wenger’s

reign at Arsenal was coming to an end,

the storm clouds started to gather over

Pete’s blessed existence.

He explained: “The bookings started to

dry up and from money never having

been an issue, I started having to mind

the pennies. That was hard, as I’d got

used to the jetset lifestyle.

“I fell behind on my mortgage and had

to sell the caravan at Margate to some

people who turned out to be members of

an Albanian shit gang.”

No-one was more emotional than Pete

when Wenger finally said goodbye to the

Emirates stadium.

He said: “I knew that was that. My

golden goose was dead. What would I do?

Unfortunately, I’d not saved any money

during the good times so I was suddenly

on my uppers.”

That’s when a new – and not altogether

pleasant – opportunity presented itself.

Pete explained: “A foreign gentleman

phoned me and said he ran a sort of escort

agency that employed former lookalikes.

“At first I was horrified and refused –

then a tax bill came and I knew I needed

readies, fast.”

Pete signed up to the shadowy world

of lookalike sex work and found himself

on the seedier side of squalor.

He said: “As I was no longer a ‘current’

lookalike, I could only get low-paid or

particularly degrading work. At times, I

was selling my arse for just £10 a go.

“A lot of trade came from Chelsea and

BALLS IN THE AIR:

Successful lookalike

Pete tempts punters

HARD TACKLE: Pete has to

sell his to tranny lovers

simply to make ends meet

Spurs fans who fancied the idea of

bumming Arsene Wenger up the arse

while spitting abuse. I just gritted my

teeth and thought of the money.”

Pete said that another few months

leasing his arse as an Arsene Wenger

lookalike should allow him to clear his

debts and get a straight job, maybe at B&Q.

Trade

But he’s speaking out to warn others

that the lookalike life is not plain sailing.

He said: “Anything can happen. I know

one man who was a Rolf Harris lookalike.

His trade disappeared overnight and he

was abused in the street by people who

mistook him for the real thing.

“Ended up dead in a bedsit eaten by

his own cats. That, my friends, can be the

reality of the lookalike game.”

WINNER

AND LOSER:

Arsene

(above) and

Pete Stoate

Emma: I did

‘crazy stuff’

for lesbian

sex scenes

STUNNING actresses

Olivia Colman and

Emma Stone played

party games to warm

up for their awkward

LESBIAN sex scenes

in 18th century

Queen Anne biopic,

The Favourite.

Emma, 30 (above),

revealed the pair did

“crazy stuff” to shake

their inhibitions ahead

of romping on screen.

Emma confessed:

“We did a whole bunch

of crazy stuff.

“We learned to be

embarrassed in front

of each other and rely

on each other.

“So when I had to

have sex with Olivia

it was very comfortable

because we were very

good friends.”

Olivia, 44, added:

“Playing together

meant we could all be

unembarrassed in

front of each other.”

The film sees Queen

Anne and the love

triangle with her friend

Lady Sarah – played

by Rachel Weisz – and

lady-in-waiting Abigail

Hill (Stone).

PERSONALLY, I don’t

think there’s intelligent

life on other planets.

Why should other

planets be different

than this one?

– Bob Monkhouse


6 January 6, 2019

Uber ‘devil’ killer

faces life in prison

THE trial begins this week of a taxi driver who

killed six people after a “devil figure” on the Uber

taxi app “took control of his mind”.

Troubled Jason Dalton is charged with murder

and attempted murder after the shooting spree

in Michigan, in February 2016.

He’s accused of shooting eight people in three

locations in the Kalamazoo area while he was

picking up customers for taxi firm Uber.

Police quoted Dalton as saying a “devil figure”

on Uber’s app was controlling him.

The trial, which is due

to start tomorrow, was

delayed while Dalton’s

lawyers tried to prevent

some of their client’s

statements made to cops

being used in court.

Outlandish

The Michigan appeals

court agreed that some

of the more outlandish

ones can’t be used.

The trial is expected

to last two weeks and

Dalton faces up to life

in prison without parole

if convicted of murder.

Nude Lindsay pic

angers Muslims

ACTRESS Lindsay Lohan is facing a FATWA for

posing naked – after she said she was “exploring”

converting to Islam!

In the photograph (below) – shared with her

7.1million online followers – Lohan ditches her

clothes to pose on a sofa in a crawling position.

Wearing nothing but high heels, the 32-year-old

sports a platinum blonde wig as she looked down

seductively,

But Lohan, who has been “exploring” the Muslim

faith since 2016, was criticised by followers for

“disrespecting” religion.

She was photographed last year walking around

New York holding a Quran and attended Fashion

Week wearing a hijab.

One follower commented: “If you are Muslim you

can’t post naked pics.”

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Sophie Reade

Age 28, 30H-24-34, from Nantwich, Cheshire

Women grow their

own for Januhairy

A MONTH-long campaign which encourages

women to go natural and grow out their body hair

is happening for the first time.

Januhairy wants ladies to “love and accept” their

natural hair while raising money for charity.

Founder Laura Jackson, 21, said she’s had a

“great response” and women from all over the world

have now signed up to take part.

The Exeter University student came up with

the idea after growing out her own hair for a

drama performance.

She said: “Though I felt liberated and more

confident in myself, some people around me didn’t

understand or agree with why I didn’t shave.

“I realised that there is still so much more for us

to do to be able to accept

one another fully.”

Laura (left) of Kineton,

Warwicks, hopes to

raise £1,000 for charity

Body Gossip’s education

programme, which helps

teach young people

about body image.

“I just want women

to feel more comfortable

in their own beautifully

unique bodies,” she

added.


June’s final

rant against

sex on telly

DAME June Whitfield,

who died over Christmas

aged 93, used her final

interview to criticise

modern TV – saying

there’s “too much sex

and swearing”.

The actress (above),

best known for roles in

Absolutely Fabulous

and Terry and June,

made the comments in

an interview on BBC

Radio Sussex just

days before her death

on December 28.

She said: “I never

know whether telly

programmes put on

what people want or

what they think they

should want.

“Everything, every

channel, it’s either

some sex scene or a

killing of some kind.

“And where’s the

humour gone? You

can’t really get a good

laugh from television.”

June also admitted

that while she liked

some modern comics,

others “spend the whole

time swearing”, and

“finish with an obscene

word and get off”.

A SLOTH’S top speed

is six centimetres

a second.

Burglar caged for

cop station theft

A BURGLAR deliberately

targeted a police station

as he wanted to be sent

back to prison.

Neil Dawson, 43, had

hoped to be sent to jail

when he appeared in

front of magistrates in

Huddersfield, W Yorks,

last month for possession

of a knife.

But he was barred from

the court building for

turning up pissed.

Later the same day he

headed to nearest police

station where he told

cops he’d been asked to

hand himself in.

But as they didn’t yet

have his warrant officers

told Dawson to go away.

That’s when he decided

to sneak back in and

steal clothing.

Dawson pleaded guilty

to possession of a knife

weapon in public, failing

to surrender to court and

burglary, and was caged

for 26 weeks.

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Did William REALLY

spunk over Meghan’s

panties?

ROYAL

UNDRESS:

Meghan’s

sizzling

strip in

TV drama

THE feud between

Princess Kate and

Meghan Markle was

sparked by Prince

William WANKING

over his sister-in-law’s

knickers.

That extraordinary

claim has been made by

a body-language expert

who has been studying

the young Royals since

Christmas Day.

Kansas-born Franklin

Goole says the “substantial

frostiness” between the

princesses can be explained

by Kate, 36, catching Wills

having one over the thumb

while watching Meghan,

37, in her drawers in the

TV series Suits.

Franklin EXCLUSIVELY

told Sunday Sport: “In one

episode of Suits, Meghan

strips down to her undies.

“That scene explains the

chill in relations between

the Cambridges and the

Sussexes.

“William was almost

certainly watching that

ROYAL

CHILL:

Kate and

Meghan’s

‘frosty’

encounter

HOME & WAHEY!

Soap babe whips ’em out

BLOOM is the new Aussie

drama released last week.

A year after a devastating

flood kills five locals in an

idyllic country town, a

mysterious plant appears.

The plant’s phenomenal

ability to restore youth is so

formidable that attempting

to harness it means

re-evaluating values.

One of the main characters

BLOOM-IN’

BOOBIFUL:

Phoebe

topless in

new drama

is played by Aussie stunna

Phoebe Tonkin – who gets

her pert little BOOBS out

for the show.

It’s a world away from

Summer Bay where Phoebe

– now 29 – played Adrian

Hall in Aussie soap Home

and Away back in 2010.

One fan said: “Strewth!

That’s a proper Sheila.

Cobber. And so on…”

By BARNEY SAMUELS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

particular episode of Suits

– maybe on his laptop in

his private office – and

Meghan appears on screen

in her undies.

“William decides to have

a wank, almost certainly

reaches completion, Kate

catches him wiping his

dick on the royal curtains,

blows a gasket and – hey

presto – you have a big,

old-fashioned royal family

feud on your hands.

Rift

“The ironic thing is, poor

Meghan will have no idea

why Kate is so angry.

“It’s rather unfair for

Kate to blame Meghan for

William having a wank

but, hey, that’s women for

you.”

Rumours of a royal rift

between the women began

swirling after it emerged

that Meghan and Harry

will move away from

Kensington Palace to make

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Gay, Bi or just

Curious you’ll

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GUYS to chat

to here.

CHAT or

DATE

100s of

women

ONLINE NOW!!

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January 6, 2019 7

their home in Windsor,

25 miles away from Kate

and William.

There were claims that

Kate broke down in tears

after Princess Charlotte’s

bridesmaid’s dress fitting,

ahead of Meghan and

Harry’s wedding in May, as

well as suggestions the

pair had clashed over staff.

And just weeks ago,

sources claimed Meghan

was ‘fed up’ of not being

able to ‘stand up for herself’

as the demands of royal

protocol dictate she keeps

a dignified silence amid

rumours of tension

between the sisters-in-law.

Last week, though, it

was reported Kate and

Meghan had managed to

put any differences aside in

the spirit of Christmas.

The sisters-in-law are

said to have enjoyed a

game of Scrabble together

on the big day.

One courtier said: “We

were rather disappointed

as we had been looking

forward to a Dynasty-style

bitchfight.”

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8 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

THE VOICE OF

YOUR BRITAIN

Taboo that

must never

be broken

THE last 30 years have seen

incredible social change in

Britain.

Taboos have been broken and

trampled into the dirt.

Long-held prejudices have

been discarded, and opinions

once thoroughly mainstream

are now seen as outdated and

regarded with a mixture of pity,

anger and bewilderment.

We are a freer, more tolerant

Britain than we once were.

Difference is celebrated and

those who refuse to celebrate

this difference are punished for

being criminally unorthodox.

But there have to be limits to

our tolerance.

Why was Brendan Bronson – a

man with a criminal conviction

for wiping his bellend on the

swings in the park – allowed to

train as a teacher?

Yes, many barriers and taboos

have been broken but the bar

on sex perverts becoming

teachers MUST stay in place.

For the moment, Bronson is

still barred from the classroom

but for how much longer?

Surely he and his kind will

start agitating for “equal

rights”.

And then where shall we be?

On the way to hell in a

handcart, that’s where!

A pain in the Arse

WHEN Arsene Wenger left

Arsenal little did he know the

full consequences of his actions.

For the Frenchman’s departure

left lookalike Pete Stoate well

and truly up the creek without

a paddle.

While Wenger was at the club,

Pete made a good living as a

doppelganger.

Now he’s totally penniless and

scraping a meagre living in the

shadowy world of lookalike

transvestite prostitution.

As so often in the beautiful

game, those at the top have

little concern for what’s going

on at the grass roots.

CORBYN TACKLES

RAIL MELTDOWN

Sorry I’m late.

Train was cancelled.

Some bastards on

strike, I believe

CONCERN AS GERMAN

LEADERS’ PRIVATE

DATA HACKED

Please Gott,

they did not find

the ploppy-plop

photos!

NEWS IN

PICTURES

TELLY INSIDERS SAY ANT HAD

‘QUIET NEW YEAR’

IS TRUMP

LOSING HIS

GRIP?

…and everyone around me has

total confidence in my abilities

This guy is a

f**king moron

JAVID GETS TO GRIPS WITH

BORDER FORCE

…and is this the radar where

you spot the immigrants?

No sir. It’s the telly…and

Pointless is about to start


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 9

In 2007, this man rubbed

Shailene: I’ll

help girls to

masturbate

ACTRESS Shailene

Woodley believes young

women should be

taught how to pleasure

themselves – and

wants to write a book

about it.

The Divergent and

Big Little Lies star has

been nominated for

Golden Globes and an

Emmy, and is in a

relationship with Fiji

rugby player Ben

Volavola.

Shailene (above), 27,

revealed her strong

feelings about flicking

the bean in a recent

interview with fashion

website Net-a-Porter.

She said: “As a young

woman you don’t learn

how to pleasure

yourself, you don’t

learn what an orgasm

should be, you don’t

learn that you should

have feelings of

satisfaction.

“I’ve always had a

dream of making a

book called There’s

No Right Way to

Masturbate.”

VINTAGE

TOP

TIP

STOP birds nesting

in your garden by

collecting all the

twigs and moss in

your neighbourhood

and hiding it in your

garden shed.

– P Reaney,

Rothwell

Bus sh*tter is

pooh-poohed

A TOILET for bus drivers

nicknamed the “Turdis”

has been removed just

four weeks after it was

“dumped” on a street.

The loo, erected on

December 4 as part of

Transport for London’s bid

to improve conditions for

its drivers, was criticised

by local residents.

Although it does not

require any planning

permission, TfL said it

had received consent to

install the toilet.

The facility was

removed “after hearing

the local community’s

views”, TfL said.

The toilet in Biggin Hill

has been vandalised

several times since it was

installed last month.

TfL said “courtesy

letters did not reach all

residents”, but before

the toilet was built it had

engaged with the local

planning authority and

highways managers to

secure their agreement.

his willy on park

swings, now he’s

a qualified TEACHER

ON paper, Brendan

Bronson looks like a

great choice to run a

classroom.

A qualified lifesaver,

with 10 years’ experience

running youth groups,

the one-time choirmaster

came top of his class at

teacher school.

And proudly holding his

teacher’s certificate, single

Bronson boasted on social

media that he wanted to

“revolutionise education” in

his native Biddulph, Staffs.

There’s just one thing

holding him back, though…

In 2007 a drunk Bronson

was arrested after he was

seen rubbing his “partially

READER PIC

GAVIN Harrop and his

girlfriend Emma King

are huge fans of cult

movie The Rocky

Horror Picture Show.

And he gets to see

Emma dressed up in

fishnets and a basque

when they go to fancy

dress screenings of the

saucy musical.

The 34-year-old from

Braintree, Essex, said:

“Emma loves wearing

sexy undies – but I

prefer it when she

takes them off!”

Would you like to see

your sexy pic in Sunday

Sport? Email reader

pics@sundaysport.co.uk

By BARNEY SAMUELS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

engorged” bellend on park

swings in Crewe, Cheshire.

At a subsequent court

hearing he was told he

“richly deserved a prison

sentence” but the judge

handed him probation after

hearing character references

from two bishops.

The judge told Bronson:

“Hearing the evidence in

this case, I formed the

opinion that you were a

perverted danger to the

vulnerable.

“But I have to listen to

the opinion of two such

distinguished referees and

give you another chance.

Tits do the

time warp

again…

“A man who rubs his

genitals on a children’s

swing is not a person who

should be walking the

streets. I hope you prove

me wrong.”

Bronson was ordered to

sign the Sex Offenders’

Register for life – meaning

he cannot become a teacher.

But last night he was

hopeful of changes.

He said: “What I did was

a long time ago and I hope

that, one day, men who have

been playground nuisances

can one day be teachers.

“It may sound outlandish

but society’s views change.”

One dad said: “If that perv

came anywhere near mine,

I swear I’d do time.”

ON THE

REGISTER:

Brendan

Bronson

Serial drink driver misses wedding

A PISSHEAD missed his own wedding because he was

locked up for drink driving – for the EIGHTH time!

Kevin R. Tarbox, 47, was charged with drunken driving,

having a prohibited alcohol concentration, and driving

while his licence was revoked.

If convicted at court next week, he faces up to

12-and-a-half years in jail and a fine of up to £20k.

According to a criminal complaint

by the District Attorney’s Office in

Waukesha, Wisconsin, a deputy

with the Racine County Sheriff’s

Department saw a blue Jeep on Friday

night speeding up behind him and

passing him at more than 100mph.

When Tarbox (right) finally pulled

over, the deputy noted that he

smelled strongly of alcohol and he

later failed a field breathalyser.


10 January 6, 2019

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

Woman held

‘pimping out

girl aged 16’

A WOMAN was nicked

after trying to pimp out

a 16-year-old girl.

Jessica Potuck, 28,

thought the man

buying the “services” of

the teen was a kinky

pervert into underage

hookers.

But in fact he was an

undercover cop, who

slapped the cuffs on

Potuck (above) when

the deal was done.

Potuck is charged

with prostitution,

endangering the

welfare of a child and

promoting prostitution

– pimping, in short.

As part of a sting,

officers say Potuck

agreed to a sexual

encounter with an

undercover officer for a

fee in Gates, New York.

She was held on bail

in the county lock-up.

Police said: “If you

know or suspect a child

is being involved in sex

trafficking, contact

local police. We will

continue to vigorously

investigate these types

of crimes.”

W**k vid not

a good Ikea

FURNITURE was not the

only thing on display

recently in one Ikea store

– a porn video flashed

across the TV screen at

the entrance.

The movie showed a

naked man masturbating,

with some shots zooming

in on his genitals.

An eyewitness said he

noticed the video playing

on the screen at the

ground floor of Park Lane

Shopping Mall’s Ikea

store in Causeway Bay,

Hong Kong, at lunchtime

on New Year’s Day.

After three minutes he

brought it to the attention

of staff but was initially

ignored. When someone

finally took notice, she

brought out a large piece

of paper in a bid to cover

the man’s swollen cock.

Later, the screen was

unplugged.

Staff reportedly

seemed clueless about

how the lewd video came

to be aired. An Ikea

spokesperson apologised.

ODOR-BEATERS

PEOPLE in Sheffield

have the smelliest feet

in Britain, according

to a poll of 1,500 shoe

wearers for footcare firm

Odor-Eaters. Leicester

folk came second.


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 11

PORCHIA

LOVES A

KINKY

ROLE IN

BED!

PORCHIA Watson loves

getting into character for

sex kicks.

The well-fit babe, 28, from

Basildon, Essex, has changed

her mind about kinky roleplay

shagging and now can’t get

enough of dressing up for her

man in the bedroom.

Porchia, 32DD, explained:

“Sex is supposed to be fun, it’s

great to get into character for a

bit of adult action.

“I was never really into doing

roleplay until a couple of years

ago.

“I always thought I’d feel a bit

awkward and embarrassed

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

pretending to be someone I’m

not. But I gave it a whirl and I

couldn’t believe the difference

it made.

“My favourite outfit now is

my policewoman’s uniform. I’ll

‘arrest’ my man, handcuff him

to the bed and read him his

rights – like, ‘You have the right

to bend me over the duvet!’

“Being a bit silly in bed is a

good thing, as both of you end

up being ever more open to

experimenting – and that is

NEVER a bad thing!”

CAGED FOR

TERROR

STATION

GOBBLE

A COMMUTER who

was caught getting

a gobble on the busy

concourse of a

railway station has

been jailed.

William Batchelor,

47, was arrested after

a woman was spotted

giving him a slobbery

BLOWJOB while other

travellers edged around

them as they rushed

to catch trains inside

Manchester’s Victoria

Station.

It’s the same station

where three people were

stabbed on New Year’s

Eve.

Drunk

During Batchelor’s

brief encounter a

policewoman intervened

and asked the pair to

stop their 4pm romp –

but they ignored her

and even accused the

WPC of “abusing her

power”.

Both were detained

when the officer called

for back-up. It emerged

Batchelor and his

female companion were

both drunk and were

waiting to catch a tram

on November 27 last

year.

Batchelor, from Lees,

near Oldham, admitted

outraging public decency

before Manchester JPs

and was locked up for 15

weeks.

The woman, who was

not named, is on the run

after failing to attend at

an earlier hearing.

Prosecutor Robin

Lynch said: “At 4pm he

was in a busy railway

Best bogs’

blockage!

A PUBLIC toilet was shut

down after it was voted

a country’s best loo – and

was swamped by people

desperate for a dump.

The beachfront bogs at

Hot Water Beach won

its coveted title in the

2018 Keep New Zealand

Beautiful awards.

The accolade is the

highest toilet award in

the southern hemisphere

and soon loo aficionados

from all over the world

were coming to take a

look – and a leak.

But its popularity

proved its undoing and on

New Year’s Day – at the

height of the Kiwi summer

– officials were forced

to close the doors as a

tidal wave of sewage

threatened the beach.

The shutdown lasted

two hours while bursting

tanks were pumped out.

By HAYLEY SEWELL

news@sundaysport.co.uk

station, at Manchester

Victoria. An officer saw

him and a female by a

memorial, and at the

time she was grabbing

his penis, so she began

to walk towards them to

‘She bent down and

performed oral sex

on the defendant’

warn them about the

acts as there were people

and children around.

“Before she reached

them, she then bent

down and began to

perform oral sex on the

defendant. The officer

PLATFORM BJ:

Batchelor

shouted at them to stop.

They became verbally

abusive to her, and said

she was lying in what

she saw, saying she was

abusing her power. She

stayed with them until

they were arrested.

“They were both in

drink at the time.”

Batchelor’s defence

said: “He has pleaded

guilty. He committed an

act of a sexual nature in

a public place.

“He is a single man

living alone and has

not worked for some

time.”










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12 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

Airline bans

in-flight

Killing Eve

lesbo kiss

AN airline has caused

a major raspberry by

CENSORING a hot

lesbo kiss on BBC

smash Killing Eve.

The acclaimed TV

hit, written by Phoebe

Waller-Bridge, is

among the content

being censored by

Emirates airlines on its

in-flight entertainment

channels.

Emirates, the world’s

fourth largest airline,

has also edited out

footage of same-sex

kisses from Oscarnominated

Lady Bird,

starring Saoirse Ronan.

In the original

Killing Eve, one scene

saw psychopathic

assassin Villanelle –

played by Jodie Comer

– seduce a woman.

A kiss between them

has been removed by

the airline.

The BBC did not

comment, but a source

claimed that such edits

should be banned.

The source said: “If a

company wants to

remove same-sex

moments from a BBC

programme, then the

BBC should put its foot

down and not allow it

to be shown at all.

“It is in direct

opposition to what we

stand for.”

Representatives for

Emirates, owned by

the Investment

Corporation of Dubai,

are yet to respond to

requests for comment.

Sex shop thief

is dick happy!

COPS are on the trail of a

kinky thief who stole an

armful of DILDOS from a

sex shop in broad

daylight.

The light-fingered

thrillseeker darted into

the My Amazing Fantasy

sex boutique in Andover,

Hants, and started eyeing

up sex toys and lingerie.

CCTV footage shows

the male thief wandering

around the XXX products

before pilfering “a number

of items”, according to

Hampshire Police.

He then fled the scene

with his booty.

A police source said: “If

you are offered a sex toy

by a shady-looking

character in the street,

we’d like to hear from

you.

“We don’t get a lot of

dildo crime, not in

Andover.”

GANGS IN THE SHIT!

ALBANIAN shit gangs

control 40% of public

toilets in London,

stealing up to 5,000

TONNES of human

effluent every day, says

Home Office figures.

MEET HOLLY W’S

‘NUMBER ONE FAN’

Blonde Melissa copies

her idol’s every action

By SIMON DEAN

FUN IN

JUNGLE:

It was

magic for

Mel when

Holly and

Dec got

together

TWO TO

FOLLOW:

Holly and

Phillip

simon@sundaysport.co.uk

ANYONE familiar with the career of Holly

Willoughby cannot help but be impressed

by the telly babe’s charm, bubbliness and

sheer determination to succeed.

But Melissa Dalston takes her admiration to a

whole new level.

Because the copycat 34-year-old, from Vange, near

Basildon, Essex, wants to BE This Morning host

Holly and lives a life as close to her idol’s as possible.

Singleton Melissa said: “I look at Holly and I realise that

hers is the perfect life and I want my life to be like hers, you

see?

“So I’ve dyed my hair

blonde and I’ve bought a cat

who I call Phillip Schofield.

“Every morning, I sit

on the sofa with Phillip

Schofield and I feel so close

to Holly because I’m being

just like her.”

Melissa also wrote a

children’s book after

reading that Holly was

a successful kids’ author.

Screaming

She said: “Unfortunately,

after I sent the manuscript

to the publisher, the police

arrived – as the girl who

had read my book said it

was the most disturbing

thing she’d ever read.

“So maybe I’ll not do any

more writing for a while.”

Mel had more success

recreating her own “jungle

camp” by a railway line

after Holly joined Dec

presenting I’m A Celebrity.

She said: “I had the whole

Holly experience going on

– screaming when I saw a

spider and being a bit of a

drip. It was a magical time.”

Mel dreams of meeting

Holly – but has to wait

until a court order banning

her from approaching TV

stars lapses.

TEST OF

SURVIVAL:

Mel’s own

‘jungle

camp’ by

rail tracks

EXCLUSIVE

SEEING

DOUBLE?

Melissa

wants to

look just

like Holly

Dad in gun spree over wife and pal sex vid

A DAD shot his wife and her parents in

front of their crying kids after finding a sex

tape of her romping with his best friend,

police say.

William Stillwell, 39, was arrested

following a New Year’s Day triple-shooting.

One of his five-year-old twin children is

said to have screamed, “No, Daddy. No. I

don’t want anyone to die” in a harrowing

emergency call from his in-laws’ home in

Melbourne, Florida.

Stillwell allegedly showed up at a garden

party and opened fire using a 9mm pistol.

In the call to police, Stillwell allegedly

could be heard in the background accusing

his wife Mona of cheating while his kids

begged him to stop shooting.

The mum is heard shouting out to one of

her children: “Get out and run, baby, run!”,

They escaped unharmed and the three

injured adults were rushed to hospital.

The suspect’s wife and mother-in-law

underwent surgery while the father-in-law

has been released.

Stillwell surrendered to police and was

charged with attempted murder. He was

hauled off to jail where he awaits trial.

He allegedly told cops he saw a video on

his wife’s phone of her having sex with his

best pal before he gunned down her family.

It’s believed the video showed Mona

slurping on her lover’s erect penis until he

ejaculated “copiously” onto her pretty face.


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 13

Look where he’s

Prison worker

‘smuggled meth

in wooden leg’

A DEATH Row prison

worker faces drug

charges for allegedly

smuggling more

than 40 grams of

methamphetamine

into the facility with

his wooden leg.

Adam Siemer, who

works at the Oklahoma

State Penitentiary, was

hit with charges of

drug trafficking and

bringing contraband

into a prison.

Prison authorities

told police two bags of

suspected meth were

found in Simer’s

prosthetic leg during a

shakedown of the

prison’s H-Unit, which

houses Oklahoma’s

Death Row.

Police Department

officer Richard Beford

wrote in a report that

the total of 42 grams of

crystal-like substance

allegedly obtained from

Siemer’s prosthetic

limb tested positive for

methamphetamine.

The report stated

Siemer told police “he

had been set up, the

chief or one of the other

officers had placed the

bags in his leg because

he filed a grievance”.

FOLLOW

US ON

@thesunday

sport

Fast food bog

thief in shit

A PLUMBER has been

accused of swiping toilet

fixtures from fast-food

joints.

Richard Mirabile, 44,

strode into the greasy

spoons, went straight the

loo and used a spanner

and screwdriver to pry off

automatic flushing

mechanisms worth £200

each before fleeing.

The accused thief hit

eight eateries in the

Queens area of New York

before being nicked on

December 28 in a Burger

King.

Mirabile was visibly

drunk or high and spent

an hour or more in a

Wendy’s bog during one

heist, a manager claimed.

Lolita Javier, 48, said:

“I told him, ‘Hey get out

of the bathroom, you’ve

been there for like an

hour’ and he was like, ‘I’m

not stealing anything.”

Mirabile, who has

previous, was charged

and slung in the lock-up.

PUTTING that!

Porn hunk scores BOTH HOLES

in one as XXX flick filmed at

Birmingham crazy golf course

FANCY A ROUND... OF SEX! Ghetto Golf attracted XXX shooting stars

A BUSTY porn star was

bummed up the ARSE by

a hugely-hung stud in an

indoor CRAZY GOLF course,

we can reveal.

The hardcore grumble flick

was filmed at Ghetto Golf, an

18-hole crazy golf centre based

in Birmingham, hours before

it opened to the public.

Extreme sex acts were shot

next to a graffiti-covered novelty

bus, where partygoers would

later sit at the wacky 18-hole and

cocktail bar venue.

Star of the movie is 32-year-old

porn starlet Lucia Love, who

boasts 32F boobs – which end up

DRENCHED in a tsunami of

sticky white love piss at the

shuddering CLIMAX of the scene.

But before it gets to that point,

brunette Lucia:

SUCKS a porn hunk’s 10-inch cock

HOLDS OPEN her vagina for her

By SIMON DEAN

simon@sundaysport.co.uk

fella’s thickly-erect penis

SPLAYS her bottom to allow her

man to penetrate her gaping anus

BOUNCES her sodden bottom on

her man’s length

GASPS as the porn actor slides his

manhood into her secret chasm

LICKS spilled semen from the

FLOOR like a spunk-crazed puppy

The video is produced by Evil

Angel, a firm who specialise in

so-called “rough sex” movies.

One stunned punter said: “I

was shocked at how hardcore

this was.”

Ghetto Golf in Birmingham

charges £15 for an alcoholic

drink and a round on the adultthemed

course.

A spokeswoman said: “The

company is aware an adult movie

was filmed. The site is cleaned

daily.”

NET

BIRDIE:

Stud gives

Lucia his

driver

HOT

SHOTS:

Rough

sex is

par for

course

for Lucia

Love


14 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

Man’s cock

MARRIED ON

hacked off

and lobbed

in a basket

FIRST DATE?

A MAN is fighting for

life after his penis was

hacked off and tossed

into a laundry basket.

The 55-year-old was

found naked in a field

by a passer-by.

Later a man was

arrested at a wedding

over the horrifying

attack.

A police spokesman

said: “The victim was

found by a passer-by,

naked, bleeding and in

agonising pain.

“The police were

called and the victim

was taken to hospital.

“Investigations led

police to the suspect’s

house, where the

alleged severed private

parts were found

placed in a washing

basket.

“The suspect was not

UP THE BUM-BLE:

found at home, and a

Angelika (right)

than Bumble bride

manhunt was launched.”

says newlyweds

The unidentified

Sarah and Paul

27-year-old was

By PENNY MARSHALL

should do it up

arrested within hours

the ass – a lot!

at a wedding in a

news@sundaysport.co.uk

village near Limpopo,

South Africa.

He was previously

caged for murder and

malicious damage to

property, according to

local media reports.

He is due in court on

an attempted murder

charge.

The victim, also

unnamed, suffered

multiple stab wounds

during the gory attack.

He is said to be in a

“critical condition”.

Bra clogs-up

Virgin’s bogs

TRAIN passengers have

been asked to “behave

responsibly” after a bra

was flushed down a toilet,

causing a blockage.

Virgin Trains said that

four toilets are being

taken out of service every

day as a result of people

using them incorrectly.

This meant 18,000 lost

toilet hours every year

with a repair bill of more

than £180,000 landing on

the desk of Virgin boss

Richard Branson (above).

Other items found down

the toilet on Virgin’s

Pendolino trains include

glasses, wedding rings,

nappies and a football

scarf.

Michael Jacks, head of

fleet and engineering at

Virgin Trains, said: “It did

make us smile when we

found the bra as it’s not

something you would

expect to find.”

DEATH STARS

ASTROLOGER Ramesh

Kumar, 30, was hacked

to death by a mob in

Tiruppur, India, after

making a mistake in his

star signs column in the

local newspaper.

I DO ANAL!

Angelika goes one further

WHEN glamour babe

Angelika Black read

about so-called Bumble

bride Sarah Edwards

she spat: “Pah! Small

potatoes!”

Because although Sarah,

34, married now-hubby

Paul on their first date,

kinky Angelika does ANAL

on a first date!

Angelika, originally from

Bucharest, Romania, said: “I

read about this lady who got

married on the first date and

I think, ‘Yes, is quite unusual

for an English lady’.

“But for me is not so mad.

I know if I like a man straight

away and if I like a man a lot

he gets to do sex up my ass.

If a man I meet is not into

doing the sex up my ass, then

he is not the man for me.”

Bondage

The 31-year-old, who

boasts 36E boobs, added: “I

hope this couple are very

happy. I would have only one

word of advice – do plenty of

the sex up the ass!”

Sarah became famous for

marrying Paul on Christmas

Day after the pair matched

on dating site Bumble.

It’s since been claimed that

Sarah’s lost her job as a

nanny over bondage party

pictures.

She admitted she has a

“very high sex drive” and

enjoys going to fetish parties,

having been taken to a party

in Brighton a month ago –

where she was pictured

wearing the same light-up

trainers as at her Las Vegas

wedding.

ROUGH ’N’

BUMBLE:

Sarah at

a fetish

party in

Brighton

Porn babe’s ‘not guilty’ to hitman charge

PLEA-SED:

Danforth in

court for

hearing

A PORN star laughed and

joked with her legal team

before pleading not guilty

to hiring a HITMAN.

Katrina Danforth – who is

currently being held on

remand – appeared before a

judge in Boise, Idaho, via

videolink.

Attempt

During the hearing that

only lasted 10 minutes,

Danforth (left), 31, entered a

plea of not guilty to the five

counts that stem from her

alleged use of a telephone to

hire a hitman, and one count

relates to her use of the mail

By BRAD CHADWICK

news@sundaysport.co.uk

in an attempt to find a killer

for hire.

According to Assistant

Attorney Traci Whelan, the

intended target lives in Idaho

and was not harmed.

Danforth – who goes by the

porn name Lynn Pleasant

and who specialises in

‘creampie’ shots – was picked

up by federal agents last

month at an airport after an

eight-day Hawaiian holiday.

Her trial date has been set

for March 4.

IN DEMAND,

ON REMAND:

Danforth in

porno movie


Corrie ‘killer’

Brian’s fear of

public abuse

FORMER Coronation

Street star Brian

Capron tries to avoid

social media because

he fears public abuse.

Brian, 71, famously

played Corrie’s most

famous serial killer,

Richard Hillman (above).

Despite it being

years since he terrified

the cobbles, Brian still

fears Corrie fans that

remember his

character’s actions on

the soap.

He said: “With social

media, everyone’s in

the spotlight. You have

to worry about how you

appear all the time and

everybody’s criticising

you. I find it very

difficult, the social

media thing.

“I don’t do anything.

I don’t do Twitter and I

don’t do Facebook. I

didn’t want to see

anybody saying how

awful I was.”

Brian’s 2003 exit

from the soap, which

saw him drive into a

canal never to be seen

again, was watched by

almost 20million

viewers at the time.

WOODY Allen

writes his film

scripts on a

typewriter

he bought

in the

1950s.

Wrestlers bum

lad with broom

A HIGH school has called

off the remainder of its

wrestling season after a

grappler was BUMMED

with a broomstick in an

initiation ceremony.

Four members of the

wrestling team were

arrested on allegations

they took a newcomer

into the shower area of a

locker room, stripped him

and rammed a broom

handle up his arse.

Two wrestling coaches

at Schalick High School in

Pittsgrove Township, New

Jersey, were suspended.

Pittsgrove Township

school superintendent

Scott Hoopes e-mailed

parents: “Following a

thoughtful discussion at a

board meeting, it has

been decided that the

2018-2019 wrestling

season will be cancelled.

The District is committed

to taking all steps to

make sure that the recent

events that led to this

never happen again.”

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

READER PIC

January 6, 2019 15

NONCES WITH

ATTITUDE MUSICAL

HITS HOLLYWOOD

By BARNEY SAMUELS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

THE story of a sick troupe of

Dutch PAEDO rappers is to be

made into a MUSICAL by a warped

consortium of Hollywood producers.

Nonces With Attitude formed in

Amsterdam in 2009 and since then

their hardcore bitching backbeats

about sniffing bike seats and

watching nippers in the park have

revolted audiences worldwide.

Attempts to ban them have fallen foul

of “free speech” rules imposed by the

hated European Union, and their fame

has now crossed the Atlantic.

It seems some sections of American

society have fallen for the sinister

blatherings of Ernst De Zilder, 29,

Robert Van Der Klubbe, 27, and

ringleader Henry De Oest, 39.

And now there are moves to finance

a movie about the trio, featuring their

hits Bananas Green, All Grown Up, Our

Little Secret and Sssh! Don’t

Tell.

A source close to the consortium

said: “After the success of La-La

Land, all of Hollywood is looking

for the next big musical. Nonces

With Attitude are huge on the

West Coast Ironic Pop scene at

the moment and someone decided

they would make a great musical.

SHOCKERS: De Zilder, Van Der Klubbe and De Oest

“It’s obviously a bit controversial

so details are being kept quiet at

the moment. I imagine they’ll want

Roman Polanski to direct but he

can’t come to the US, on account

of him being a nonce himself.

They may film it in Europe.”

Last night, De Oest was tightlipped

about the project.

He said: “There are irons in the

fire. That’s all I can say. My, you

have a pretty mouth…”

Terry Furey, founder of antinonce

group Hey Paedo! Leave

Those Kids Alone, said: “It makes

my blood boil.”

Chest seeing

in the New

Year, lads!

NOW that’s what we call

a Bappy New Year, folks!

It looks like Sunday

Sport reader Pete

Marshall’s NYE party

went with a bang, if this

fun snap’s anything to

go by.

Pete, of Leicester, said:

“To be honest, I can’t

really remember taking

this photo but I must

have taken it because it

was on my phone.

“And the girl second

from the left? Never seen

her before in my life –

and nobody I’ve shown

the photo to knows how

she is either.

“Still, that’s the sort

of gatecrasher you want,

isn’t it?”

Would you like to see

your sexy pic in Sunday

Sport? Simply mail

readerpics@sundaysport.

co.uk – we’ll reply

straight back.

EXCLUSIVE


16 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

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GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 17

Boozy night

in doghouse

for intruder

A DRUNK returned

home to the wrong flat

after a night on the

sauce and snuggled

down for a kip – in a

DOG’S BASKET!

Fortunately for the

unnamed intruder,

Benton – a 150lb

Mastiff – was not too

bothered by his new

sleeping partner.

But the two women

who share the flat in

Waukesha, Wisconsin,

with the giant hound

were less than happy

about their visitor.

Benton’s owner

Lynn Sarver and

her flatmate, Elise

Diskerud, woke to find

a strange bloke asleep

in Benton’s bed.

Elise said: “We were

kind of freaked out. I

grabbed the knife.”

Lynn added that they

crept away quietly and

called police.

It was later found

the man lived just

down the street and

had come home to the

wrong place.

A side door to the

two women’s home

had been left unlocked

accidentally, making

it easy for the man to

slip in.

He was released

without charge.

VINTAGE

TOP

TIP

SAVE the cost of

installing cable TV

by taping current

episodes of your

favourite shows and

then watch them in

fifteen years’ time.

– Lex Mouzer,

Liverpool

Belgies choke

on zero beer

A BELGIAN brewer will

make history when it

produces the first ever

non-alcoholic version of

one of the country’s

celebrated abbey beers

Leffe.

The beers, brewed

either by monks or on

licence from them, have

long been praised as a

central part of cultural

heritage in the country

and are notable for their

complex taste, high

alcohol content and

bespoke glasses.

Traditionalists may cry

sacrilege but the brewer

said that the decision

was a sign of changing

attitudes towards beer.

Non-alcoholic lagers

and wheat beers have

grown in popularity in

Belgium, with a 30 per

cent growth in the market

last year.

AB InBev will begin

selling a zero alcohol

version of its usually 6.6

per cent Leffe beer this

month.

We’ve seen 2019

in with a

BANG

(or three!)

James & Claire’s New Year resolution was to start SWINGING

MANY people’s New Year

Resolution is to give up

something – maybe smoking,

swearing or posting irritating

drivel on the social media

platform Facebook.

But James and Claire Wilson

made a different sort of vow at

midnight on January 1.

They decided to take up a hobby

– and no ordinary hobby.

For the three-years-married pair

made a resolution to take up

SWINGING!

And, less than a week into the

new year, they’ve embraced their

new pastime with the zeal of

converts.

Cock

Claire, 28, of Wigan, Lancs,

laughed last night: “I’ve never had

so much hard COCK!”

James, 29, a graphic designer,

said: “We’d read about swinging in

one of Claire’s magazines and

researched it online but were shy

about taking that first step.

“We had a few drinks at home on

New Year’s Eve and couldn’t think

of a resolution. That’s when Claire

suggested we start swinging in

2019.

“It was such a horny idea that I

shagged her there and then on the

By PENNY MARSHALL

news@sundaysport.co.uk

sofa. I squirted my muck up her just

as Big Ben went bong. We took that

as an omen.”

When New Year’s Day dawned,

both were still well up for their new

UP FOR IT:

Couple at the

swingers’ club

hobby and that night travelled to a

swingers’ club in Manchester.

Claire said: “We thought it would

be dead, what with it being New

Year’s Day and all, but it was busy.

There were a lot more young people

than I imagined.

“We had a few drinks and this big

busty regular came up and

BONKERS:

Claire and

hubby James

introduced herself. She asked it she

would wank of James and I nodded.

The sight of another woman wanking

off my husband was so horny.

“I started fingering myself and

came just as James spunked on this

woman’s tits.

”By now, there were five blokes

standing round, all masturbating.

I asked them to come on my face and

they did, one by one.

“It was like being in a porn movie

and my fanny juices flooded out as

I came.

Horny

“James then pointed at a really

hunky bloke standing by the bar

and asked me if I wanted to f**k

him. I would have f**ked anything,

I was so horny. I beckoned this bloke

over and started sucking him off.

“In no time at all he was up to his

balls in me and there was James

watching with a big grin on his face.

It was awesome!

“That night, in the taxi home, I

gave James a blowjob. We were so

sexed up, it was magic.”

On Thursday and Friday nights,

James and Claire visited other

swinging clubs and filled their

boots at both venues.

Claire said: “It’s amazing and

we’re hooked. It’s the best New Year

Resolution ever. I don’t think we’ll

have any trouble sticking to it.”

ARMY AXES RIMMING BAN

By BARNEY SAMUELS

LICKING

BETTER:

Soldiers

can now

‘rim’ all

they like

CHIEFS at an Army unit have

WITHDRAWN an order that

had banned squaddies from

RIMMING in the barracks.

The Army unit deployed to a

U.S. military base in Germany

rescinded the “awkwardly

specific and unnecessary” order

which banned all types of sex –

including bumhole licking, plus

lap dances and cuddling in the

barracks.

The order was issued on

December 17 through a memo

signed by the lieutenant colonel

of a unit within the 1st Cavalry

Division, 1st Armored Brigade

Combat Team.

The memo, apparently issued

to keep the group focused ahead

of the end of their nine-month

deployment, “was deemed

news@sundaysport.co.uk

unnecessary”, officials said.

Major Bonnie Conard, an Army

spokesperson, said: “The intent of

the policy letter was to ensure

soldiers remained professional

and respectful of one another

while they work and live in close,

public quarters, like the barracks

that house multiple soldiers in an

open bay.”

Gratify

The original order read:

“Effective immediately, personnel

are prohibited from engaging in

sexual intercourse, acts that are

sexual in nature, or acts that are

done with the intent to sexually

gratify any person in the

Grafenwoehr Training Area.”

The memo went on to explicitly

outline what was forbidden.

“Sexual intercourse includes,

but is not limited to, genital to

genital sexual intercourse, oral to

genital sexual intercourse, anal

to genital sexual intercourse, and

oral to anal sexual intercourse.

“Acts that are sexual in nature

include, but are not limited to,

kissing, rubbing, humping,

grinding, cuddling, and lap

dancing.”

Those found in violation of the

policy were put on notice that

such action “may result in

adverse administrative action or

punishment under the Uniform

Code of Military Justice.”


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 19

CELEBS WHO

TO GO BARE

6-PAGE SPECIAL

THEY’RE our favourite

celebs – the ones who

don’t think twice about

getting their kit off.

Stars so comfortable

with the way they look

they want us all to get a

glimpse of their curves.

The way to a man’s heart

might be through his

stomach, but the way to

his trousers is through

whipping out those boobs

on a regular basis!

They all know how

important it is to get

noticed when you’re

a star, and there’s

simon@sundaysport.co.ukLILY ALLEN

By SIMON DEAN

no better way of getting

stared at than stripping.

Flashing the flesh not

only keeps them in the

public eye – which as

every celebrity knows is

where they need to be for

as long as possible – it

keeps their male fans

happy.

So today we salute the

babes with the presence of

mind to strip off whenever

they feel like it – provided

there’s a movie camera

rolling or a snappa with

his lens out on the beach.

They’re simply the

BREAST!

LIPPY Lily might come

out with a load of old

tosh from time to

time, but there’s no

denying that the

33-year-old pop

pertlet has a cracking

pair of chesticles –

which she happily

shares with us on a

regular basis, either

letting one slip out

cheekily on a night

out or removing the

lot on hols.

ANNA FRIEL

ADORABLE Anna (can’t believe she’s

now 42) has been a long-time favourite

ever since her Brookside days – thanks

mainly to her commendable view that

there is nothing wrong with whipping

out your boobs whether you’re at work

or play. We’d love to cop a Friel, too!KATE WINSLET

COY Kate always gives

the impression she’s a

demure English rose, but

beneath that prim

exterior clearly lies a

raunchy lass who loves

to whip ’em out for the

lads. That nude scene

raised many a Titanic

stiffy in the movie

houses of Britain but

that’s not the only time

by far that Kate, 43, has

bared the lot.


20 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

CELEBS WHO

TO GOBARE

JESS IMPIAZZI

CELEBRITY Big

Brother and Ex on the

Beach babe Jess, 29,

has made a career out

of posing nude and

topless for Sunday

Sport – but as can be

seen from our other

snaps, she also loves

to doff her party tops

when she’s out on the

town with the girls.

She’s a superstar!

THANDIE NEWTON

THANDIE is one of Hollywood’s most

respected actresses, but enough of that…

what we really respect is her willingness to

get naked for her art. Whether it’s TV

potboilers like Westworld or Rogue or the

1999 movie Besieged, 46-year-old Thandie

was very handie at showing off her tits!

ROXANNE PALLETT

IGNORE the Big Bro meltdown she had,

there’s no denying we want to see a lot

more in 2019 of the pert 36-year-old

former soap star. Or rather, we want to see

a lot more of her magnificent chest!


HELEN MIRREN

NOW here’s Bare

Celeb Royalty.

Dame Helen Mimsy

might be 73 now,

but we still hope we

haven’t seen the

last of those

magnificent breasts

and fanny.

Our tribute

follows her from

Age of Consent

(1969) through

Savage Messiah

(1972) to The

Roman Spring of

Mrs Stone (2003).

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 21

BELLA HADID

GIGI’S 22-year-old sis has never been

shy about revealing her fab body –

and why not? When you’ve got a

magnificent pair like that, you want

to show them off and rub our noses

in… sorry, did we say that out loud?

ROSIE HUNTINGTON

WHITELEY

ROSIE might be 31 now, but she’s

still tickling our fancies by posing in

sexy revealing snaps – and long may

it continue. Even when the Victoria’s

Secret lovely isn’t on a fashion shoot

she loves to give us an eyeful on

Twitter. How tweet of her!

AMANDA

HOLDEN

BRITAIN’S Got Talent

judge Amanda, 47,

has managed to

keep her superb body

in great shape – and

loves to prove it

when on her hols by

whipping them.

We might forgive

her for the shocking

way she treated the

lovely Les Dennis if

she promises to

keep on flashing!


22 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

CELEBS WHO

TO GOBARE

BILLIE PIPER

POP starturned

successful actor

Billie, 36, has been

driving us all nuts

ever since she

pranced around the

Top of the Pops stage

singing “Because We

Want To” while just a

teen.

Since then she’s

ditched the warbling

and gone down the

acting route, with

spectuacly sexy nude

scenes in the likes

of Secret Diary of a

Call Girl and Penny

Dreadful.

NICOLE KIDMAN

IT’S hard to imagine elegant

Nicole as a once curly-haired

tomboy in the Aussie telly

series BMX Bandits and her

film role in, er, Bush Christmas.

The 51-year-old ex-wife of

Tom Cruise is certainly all

grown up now though – with

full frontal nude scenes in the

likes of very naughty Eyes Wide

Shut.

CHLOE FERRY

IT’S long been suspected

that reality TV star Chloe,

23, has an aversion to

wearing cloths on any

permanent basis.

The Geordie Shore and

Celebrity Big Brother

stunna is reguarly snapped

with her boobs accidentally

hanging out as she’s

sunbathing or tumbling out

of London nightclubs.


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 23

RITA ORA

IT seems a long time since saucy Rita

was crooning about being Hot Right

Now – although the sentiment hasn’t

changed a jot.

The 28-year-old Kosovo-born beauty is

known as a fashionista and appears to

take particular delight in wearing

see-through tops with no bra underneath

– or sometimes simply no top at all!

MAITLAND WARD

WE are huge fans of

Boy Meets Girl fave

Maitland here at Sport

Towers, where our lives

are dedicated to

bringing you the best

flesh photos from

around the globe.

Maitland, 41, actually

quit acting a few years

back but still turns up

at comics conventions

wearing nothing but

body paint, and she

regularly posts topless

snaps to Instgram and

Snapchat.

RHIAN SUGDEN

FEAST your weary

eyes on the topless

delights of former

pin-up Rhian, 32.

After 12 years of

glamour modelling,

the northern blonde

has vowed that her

boobs-out days are

behind her no she’s

married to ex-Corrie

hunk Oliver Mellor.

KATE MOSS

CARA DELEVINGNE

SHE’S officially listed as a

model, singer and actress,

but there’s another

desciption to add to that –

FIT!

The bisexual beauty, 26,

who has been in a

relationship with artiste

St Vincent since 2014,

regularly takes part in

topless or fully nude photo

shoots for fancy highbrow

fashion houses.

HARD to believe that

having been around for

what seems like a lifetime,

Croydon-born Kate is still

only 44.

We’ve lost count of the

number of times the

famously slim stunna has

been snapped or painted

without her clothes on,

despite us having every

one of them Sellotaped to

the office ceiling.

DAKOTA JOHNSON

WITH a mum and dad like

Melanie Griffith and Don

Johnson, Dakota, 29, was

always destined for a life on

the big screen.

Whether her folks enjoyed

seeing her naked, tied up

and whipped for the Fifty

Shades of Grey trilogy is not

known, but we’re sure new

boyfriend, Coldplay frontman

Chris Martin, enjoyed them!


24 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

CELEBS WHO

TO GOBARE

EMILY RATAJKOWSKI

THE only Blurred Lines

most see when near

perma-nude Emily is in

front of us is the furious

movement of our wrists.

However, cheeky Emily,

27, who mixes modelling

and acting with driving her

zillions of online followers

wild, recently disappointed

men everywhere by

marrying a billionaire.

MILEY

CYRUS

WE just have to

hope that her

recent marriage

to long-term

beau Liam

Hemsworth

doesn’t stop

Miley’s desire to

display her taut

body to the

open-mouthed

masses.

The Wrecking

Ball singer, 26,

tied the knot

with Liam just a

week ago –

meaning fans of

her endlessly

naked body

might have to

tie a knot of

their own for a

while!

KIERSTON

WAREING

KELLY BROOK

SHE’S come a long way since co-presenting

on Channel 4’s Big Breakfast, has our Kelly.

The 39-year-old raven-haired Rochester

babe continues to impress with her famous

curves, most notably when she went

completely nude for an underwater lesbian

scene in horror movie Piranha.

KIM KARDASHIAN

IT’S quite a feat to

shoot to fame for

appearing in a sex

tape and then making

yourself a billion-dollar

industry on the back

of it.

Yet that is precisely

what Kim, 39, has

done – and continues

to captivate fans with

her topless or fully

nude Instagram

displays.

CURVY Kierston peeled off for the real-life crime

movie Fall of the Essex Boys in 2013.

The 40-year-old former Hollyoaks babe has also

been filmed naked for The Take and and Bonded by

Blood, and also taken part in a few racy lads’ mag

photo shoots.


DEANO

ON

SUNDAY

Does the Army

really need

snowflakes?

“WE sleep soundly in our beds

because rough men stand ready

in the night to visit violence on

those who would do us harm.”

It’s a quote variously attributed

to writer George Orwell or former

Prime Minister Winston Churchill.

Whoever said it, the quote pretty

well sums up what our armed

services are there for.

Someone threatens Britain or

British interests and they’ll come

face-to-face with flinty men – and,

increasingly women – whose job

it is to kill them.

It’s a job I doubt I will ever

have the bravery, discipline or

inclination to do.

That’s why I – and so many

millions of people in this country

– owe a vast debt to the men

and women who stand ready to

defend us.

And they have stood ready for

generations.

However, it’s an ethos that jars

ever-so-slightly with the Army’s

latest recruitment drive.

Posters revealed last week aim

to encourage “snowflakes”, “binge

gamers”, “phone zombies” and

“selfie addicts” to join up.

Really?

How many of us would sleep

soundly knowing our homeland is

defended by people who telephone

the police if they see something

they don’t like on Twitter?

Or that our skies

are patrolled by a

person who has a

fit of the vapours

if they hear the

expression “men

have penises”?

Have our armed

forces really come

to this? Asking

those least suited

to military life to

join the Army?

And who is this

campaign actually

aimed at?

Would a “snowflake” even

consider joining up?

Swearing allegiance to the

Queen, selflessness, duty and

discipline.

Not qualities that overburden

most “woke” keyboard warriors,

I’d hazard.

Aggression

It’s clear from the roll-call of

carnage after each weekend that

there are plenty of young men –

and, again, women – in Britain

who have lots of pent-up aggression.

The sort of people who Wellington

had in mind when he said: “I don’t

know what effect these men will

have upon the enemy, but, by God,

they frighten me.”

Better that aggression was

channelled at our potential

enemies, rather than spilling out

on the High Street.

My guess is that some suit at the

MoD was sold this new campaign

by a smoothie PR sort.

It comes almost exactly a year

after another Army recruitment

campaign encouraged members

of various minorities to take the

Queen’s Shilling.

When our Army starts asking

snowflakes and phone zombies

to join the ranks we should be

worried about the security of our

nation – and the state of our

society.

email: simon@sundaysport.co.uk

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 25

WOMAN CAGED

ESCAPED

ABUSE:

A monkey

from the

same

pet shop

FOR TOSSING

OFF MONKEY

‘I was tickling it, not masturbating it’

Katy’s

got a

Perry

nice

bum!

JUST what we need when

polar winds are shivering

our timbers – Katy Perry,

on a boat somewhere hot

and showing off her

delightful trumper.

The I Kissed A Girl

singer, 34, made us hark

back to sunnier times

when this snap appeared

on a pal’s Instagram feed.

A fan said: “I’ve got the

winter sniffles and the

shivering shits but this

photo of Katy Perry in a

bikini has cheered me right

up. Hooray!”

By COLIN HURST

A WOMAN has been jailed for three years

for wanking off a monkey in a pet shop.

A court charged Basma Ahmed, 25, with

“inciting debauchery” and “committing an

obscene act in public”.

She was arrested in October after a 90-second

video of the incident went viral, particularly among

young people and students.

The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching

the genitals of a monkey at a pet shop in Mansoura

city, Egypt, and making

sexual innuendos as

people around her

chuckle.

Despite confessing to

the incident in court,

she said she did not

mean to commit an

indecent act and that

she had actually been

“tickling” the monkey.

Backlash

The video sparked a

fierce backlash online

in the conservative

Muslim country.

Ahmed was initially

detained for four days,

but public prosecutors

increased the period to

15 days to “further

investigate the case”.

Officials said that

Ahmed is not a

first-time offender and

has previously been

charged in two other

“public moral” cases.

In her statement to

regional prosecutors,

the defendant claimed

she had not meant to

abuse the animal and

news@sundaysport.co.uk

LAUGHING TOSSER:

Ahmed in the video

had been surprised by

its reaction.

She also claimed that

although one of her

friends had filmed her,

the video had been

posted on the internet

without her knowledge.

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26 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

Eva Wyrnal

Age 27, 34DD, from Rugy, Warks


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 27

This week in

2009

Top 10 UK

singles

KINKY MISS PUT

TRAINER UP HER

MINGE

1 Hallelujah –

Alexandra Burke

(above)

2 Run – Leona

Lewis

3 Just Dance – Lady

Gaga ft Colby

O’Donis

4 If I Were A Boy –

Beyonce

5 Broken Strings –

James Morrison ft

Nelly

6 Use Somebody –

Kings of Leon

7 Hot N Cold –

Katy Perry

8 Human – Killers

9 Womanizer –

Britney Spears

10 Greatest Day –

Take That (below)

Top 10

films in UK

cinemas

IT’S A SHOE-IN! Swinson sent

students X-rated fanny video

READER PIC

Woody

good

show,

Debs!

A RANDY games miss had sex

with two hunky teen lads – after

sending one of them an X-rated

video showing her putting a

TRAINER up her FANNY!

Rebecca Swinson, 39, pleaded guilty

to three acts of sex acts with a student

and 16 counts of taking indecent

liberties with a student.

The incidents happened with two

teenagers from East Forsyth High School

in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where

Swinson taught English and was a

cross-country track coach.

School officials initially suspended her

CLASS ACTS:

Swinson had sex

with students

inside school

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

and then fired her on

August 2.

Assistant District

Attorney Kia Chavious

said Swinson engaged in

sexual acts with two

lads, who were both 17

at the time, during the

2017 autumn term.

Rodney Bass, the

principal of the school,

told cops that a female

student approached a

teacher and told her a

male friend said he’d

had an inappropriate

relationship with

Swinson.

Investigators talked

to Swinson, who

admitted to the sexual

relationship and said

she had also had sex

with another boy.

Chavious told the

court that Swinson

made contact with each

student through a

phone application that

allows teachers to

post assignments and

students to ask

questions.

Swinson and the

students exchanged

personal cell phone

numbers and set up a

Snapchat account.

Flirtatious

Swinson and the

students sent text

messages in which they

talked about their

lives.

The text messages

became flirtatious and

then sexual. Swinson

told investigators that

the students then

requested she send

them pictures.

At first, the pictures

were of her face, then of

parts of her breasts and

her in underwear.

Eventually, Swinson

sent sexually explicit

pictures and videos,

including one where she

inserted a trainer into

her fully-shaven vagina.

In one incident,

Chavious said, Swinson

and one of the students

were in her classroom.

After class that day,

Swinson and the

student started to kiss

and she sucked him

off before having full

sex.

In another incident,

Swinson kissed the

second male student in

her classroom. She also

performed oral sex on

him and they had sex

briefly.

Swinson was jailed for

six months and placed

on supervised probation

for a period of three

years and six months.

1 Marley and Me

(above)

2 The Curious Case

of Benjamin Button

3 Bedtime Stories

4 Valkyrie

5 Yes Man

6 Seven Pounds

7 The Tale of

Desperaux

8 Doubt

9 The Day the Earth

Stood Still

10 Slumdog

Millionaire (below)

YOU can tell this snap

of 35-year-old Debs

Harvey was taken a

few months back –

the sun’s shining in

the background!

Boyfriend Mike

Peace, 37, of Brierley

Hill, near Dudley, said:

“We were having a

lovely day at Cannock

Chase and Debs said,

‘Shall I get my tits

out, Mike?’

“And I said ‘Yes’ –

and she did. Oh, I love

Cannock Chase, I do!”

Would you like to

see your sexy pic in

Sunday Sport? Email

readerpics@sunday

sport.co.uk – we’ll

reply straight back.


28 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

LAUREN’S FILTHY JOKE

WHAT do the Mafia and

a pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue,

and you’re in deep shit.

January 6, 2019 29

NAME THE FLASHER

BRITAIN’S RUDEST AND

CRUDEST PUZZLE PAGES

NAME THE WET T-SHIRT BABES

CAN you name the female celebrity just by seeing her

famous breasts exposed through a wet top?

A FORMER star on EastEnders and

The Bill, this Lytton lovely has such

clean, fresh panties!

1 2 3 4

Lauren Wood

Age 25, 32E, from Romford, Essex

THIS Upton girl – famous for wearing

swimsuits in Sports Illustrated

magazine – has a lot up top!

CARMEN have a look at the wet teats

in this beauty’s tight-fitting shirt.

HOLY sausages! This wet T-shirt

babe would even look a picture

putting the bins out!

5 6 7 8

SHE’S not a beanpole, like most

models…and we love her for it.

THIS gap-toothed fashion stunna’s

even more attractive now she doesn’t

have David Walliams with her.

A BIT of water Transforms ’er top

into a see-through delight!

AFTER you’ve seen her in a wet

top, you’ll remain an Abi man.

THIS bang-on-trend pop babe has

a lovely pair of hits!

TURN THE PAGE FOR MORE PUZZLES


30 January 6, 2019

ALTERED IMAGES

CAN you name the famous naked babe?

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

MICA’S BIG

WHO was embarrassed to learn they

1 weren’t allowed in the Commons

because their MP pass had expired?

a) Theresa May

b) Boris Johnson

c) Jeremy Corbyn

d) David Cameron

WHICH comedy duo are played by

2 Steve Coogan and John C Reilly in a

new biopic out this month?

a) Morecambe and Wise

b) Laurel and Hardy

c) Hale and Pace

d) Les Dennis and Dustin Gee

3 WHAT

group’s

music did

Gemma

Collins say

she’d refuse

to skate out

to on Dancing

on Ice?

a) Take That

b) Spice Girls

c) Vengaboys

d) The Roly

Polys

DEFACED!

WHO’S behind the defaced doodles?

We’ve hidden a celebrity behind the sketchings of our

office lunatic but can you tell who it is?

It’s dead

hard!

WORD

SEARCH

THERE are 15 words

hidden in our word

search grid. Can you

find them all?

This week…

AT HOME

Mica Martinez

Age 25, 32D, from Shoreditch, east London


PUB QUIZ!

HOW much of the football

4 failed to cross the line for

Liverpool when Man City defender

John Stones hooked it to safety

in last week’s Premier League

clash?

a) 11mm

b) 22mm

c) 33mm

d) None – it was clearly over

the line whatever the goal-line

technology says

WHAT was the nickname given

5 to the public toilets put up for

London bus drivers to use?

a) Shitty Shuttle

b) Piss stop

c) Turdis

d) The Drive-poo

WHICH celebrity chef is set to

6 become a dad again for the

fifth time?

a) Jamie Oliver

b) James Martin

c) Gordon Ramsay

d) Gino d’Acampo

WHAT about former England

7 and Liverpool star Michael

Owen most irritates his wife

Louise, according to him?

a) His small cock

b) His big cock

c) His stinky cheese

d) His voice

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

WHY has Cristiano Ronaldo’s

8 statue at his hotel in

Funchal, Madeira, had to be

retouched?

a) Women (and some men)

keep rubbing his bulging cock

b) He noticed his hair wasn’t

right

c) People have chipped bits

off as souvenirs

d) It looks nothing like him

9 HOW

many

PDC world

darts

titles has

Michael

van Gerwen

now won?

a) Three

b) Four

c) Five

d) Six

WHICH former Coronation

10 Street star was targeted

twice by aliens, according to a

UFO expert?

a) Betty Driver

b) Julie Goodyear

c) Anne Kirkbride

d) Doris Speed

WHICH sitcom stars’ TV

11 reunion was slammed by

fans on social media?

a) Friends

b) Red Dwarf

c) Father Ted

d) The Inbetweeners

WHICH film star paid

12 £13.3million for a new

apartment last week?

a) Matt Damon

b) Steve Carell

c) Hugh Grant

d) George Clooney

WHO knocked Brit Andy

13 Murray out of the Brisbane

International tennis tournament

last week?

a) Nick Kyrgios

b) Rafael Nadal

c) Daniil Medvedev

d) Cliff Richard

WHAT did Katie Price buy

14 for £1,000 over Christmas

as a “present to herself”?

a) A new bra

b) A puppy

c) A horse

d) A night with a male escort

WHICH Australian Big

15 Bash League T20 side

does England captain Joe Root

play for?

a) Adelaide Strikers

b) Sydney Thunder

c) Sydney Sixers

d) Perth Scorchers

January 6, 2019 31

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

THERE are six differences between the two pictures. Can you spot

them all?

JOKE OF THE WEEK

THIS jumbled-up rude word would leave

Countdown’s Rachel Riley with a face redder than an

embarrassed tomato. Can you work out what it is?

C O I G D I C K E N

=

WHY did the

orange stop?

Because it ran

out of juice.

BATHROOM

BEDROOM

BROOM

CEILING

CHIMNEY

CUPBOARD

CURTAINS

FAN

FIREPLACE

FLOOR

HALL

KITCHEN

LAMP

MAT

MIRROR

Sex Educashun

HOW well do you know your sex terms?

HERE’S a rude word but only one of the definitions is correct. Do you

know the right one?

XERONISUS

a) An inability to reach orgasm.

b) A sexual attraction to photo copier machines.

ALL ANSWERS

ON PAGE 55


32 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

LEA

FR

Age 28,


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 33

H

ANCIS

34GG from Southampton

POSTER


34 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

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IN NEXT SUNDAY’S

January 6, 2019 35

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January 6, 2019 37

LOADS OF BABES, TELLY AND CHAT

Kitty Lea: My

whips and

spanking

secrets

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

LOVELY Kitty Lea

says she really likes

to experiment in bed

with a bit of light

bondage.

The 30E brunette

confessed: “I’ve got

lots of little fetish

outfits. They make

you feel naughty and

a bit dirty without

even doing anything!

“I like to start off

slowly and gently with

whips and a spot of

spanking.

“Plenty of high street

shops sell erotic gear.

Risk

“If you open your

wallet, I’m sure the lady

in your life will be

willing to try something

special with you.”

The 23-year-old

Lincolnshire lass also

loves having sex in the

great outdoors, adding:

“It’s the risk factor.

“You could be caught

at any moment with

your panties down – and

that always makes me

feel so naughty.”

PLUS: OUR WORLD FAMOUS AGONY COLUMN PAGES

58 & 59

THIS WEEK

BABE TALK

Natasha Anastasia’s

Perfect Sunday

PAGES 38 & 39

LEGENDS OF

PORN TODAY:

ALEXIS TEXAS

PAGES 42 & 43

Jade and

Elodie

reveal their

FIRST TIME

PAGE 45

TELLY PICKS OF THE

WEEK AND BOOBS

ON THE BOX PAGES

BABE TALK

48 & 49

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PAGES 52 & 53

BABE TALK

ANGELA’S

NAUGHTY

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PAGES 56 & 57


38 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

My perfect Sunday…

Natasha Anastasia, 28, 36C, from Newham, east London


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January 6, 2019 39

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

NAUGHTY Natasha

Anastasia dreams of

a very sinful way to

spend a Sunday.

The 28-year-old blonde

would like to spend the

whole day enjoying a

slippery, all-girl lesbian

ORGY!

The 30C stunna – born in

Cyprus but now living in

Guildford, Surrey – said:

“I’ve slept with two women

in the past, but not at the

same time.

“I’d like to change that by

having an all-girl threesome.

Buzz

“It’d be even better if there

were four of us, all going at it

on a big bed all day long.

“I love guys, but there’s

something thrilling about

being with another girl.

“Making another woman

have an orgasm is a real buzz.

“Plus they have boobs you

can play with! I love boobs!

“A Chinese restaurant

near me does an all-day

Sunday buffet – so after all

that sex we can recharge our

batteries with a big feed.

“YUM!”


40 January 6, 2019 get the sport online free for a month! go to www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

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January 6, 2019 41

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PART

37

ALEXIS TEXAS

By PENNY MARSHALL

news@sundaysport.co.uk

BORN at a military base

in Panama, Alexis was

raised in a small town

near San Antonio, Texas.

In high school, she held

tutorials for her male

classmates on how to take

off a girl’s bra – and realised

sex was going to make her

fortune.

While working at a college

bar in October 2006, Alexis met

some people working for the

adult film company Shane’s

World.

Grumble

The 34C blonde agreed to

appear in a film they were

making entitled Shane’s

World’s College Amateur Tour

In Texas.

Following this, she travelled

to Florida to work for the

legendary grumble outfit Bang

Bros, and then moved to Los

Angeles to pursue adult film

acting full time.

In 2009, Alexis won CAVR

Performer of the Year award.

By that time, she had filmed

over 200 scenes.

The following year, she

was named by

Maxim as

one of the 12 top female

stars in porn.

The 33-year-old made

her crossover debut to

mainstream

movies,

starring in the comedy

horror

film

Bloodlust

Zombies.

Her specialities include

anal and soggy waterports!


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019

43


44 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

Hannah Claydon

Age 30, 28H, from Wakefield, West Yorks


MY

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

THEY always

● say you

remember your first

time…well, we’ve

taken to the streets

to find out if it’s

true.

Each week

Britain’s babes will

spill the beans on

when they popped

their cherries – and

share the spicy

details of some

other first-times,

too!

Here we delve

into the sexy

secrets of two

saucy stunnas

from Leeds…

January 6, 2019 45

FAVOURITE POSITION

JADE: I love doggy-style. The whole thing

just turns me on so much. A man’s cock

feels really deep that way and also it just

seems dirty, which I like.

ELODIE: My favourite is where I’m lying on

my back and he forces my legs back and

down. I love the sense of being dominated.

LEAST FAVE POSITION

JADE: I think plain missionary is just too

dull. I’d rather watch telly sometimes than

do that. I don’t know how anyone can get

turned on by it.

ELODIE: I don’t know. Sometimes there’s

just a time and a place for everything. It’s

impossible to say which would be my least

favourite. It depends what mood I’m in.

WILLY SIZE

JADE: Cock size is not important.

The only thing that’s vital is that

they know how to use it – and

guys who think they’re God’s gift

just because they’re well-hung are

miles off.

ELODIE: No, size does matter and

where my boyfriend is concerned

I’m more than satisfied. He knows

exactly what to do with it as well,

so I have no complaints.

JADE: My boyfriend is the biggest I’ve ever

had. He’s eight inches and I must admit it

feels fantastic.

ELODIE: I agree. My boyfriend is the biggest

I’ve ever had. It feels amazing inside me

and I always think about sex with him.

CAUGHT OUT

JADE: Once my boyfriend’s parents walked

in on us humping away in his room. They

walked straight out but it was very

off-putting. If it was someone else I’d be

less bothered, but having to face them

afterwards was awful.

ELODIE: Nobody’s ever walked in on me but

I’m quite vocal when I’m shagging and one

time the window cleaner was outside and

he caught me full blast as I was climaxing.

At least the curtains were shut.

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT

JADE: I’m still trying to live down my

boyfriend’s parents walking in on us.

They’ve also read some pretty dirty text

messages sent to my boyfriend about

exactly what I was going to do to him that

night! That wasn’t good either.

ELODIE: I don’t get embarrassed during

sex. I think it’s hilarious when something

goes wrong. If you can both keep laughing

about something and keep going, then you

know you’re onto a winner with the bloke.

SPIT OR SWALLOW?

JADE: I always swallow. I love giving head

and I love the fact that I’m giving my

boyfriend a good show. Swallowing is the

finishing act and drives him wild.

ELODIE: I like to swallow but, to be honest,

I’m selfish. My boyfriend gives great head

and I much prefer that. He knows exactly

what he is doing down there and drives me

wild every time – and then he knows he

will get a good shagging.

THREESOMES

JADE: I once had a threesome and it was

terrible. My then-boyfriend liked the other

girl a bit too much and I felt cheated.

ELODIE: Yeah, my boyfriend wants me to

have a threesome, but I don’t. I love him

to bits and I’d be very jealous of him with

another girl.

KINKY SEX

JADE: I love being handcuffed to the bed

posts and then have my fella do his stuff,

get me all wet and then screw me hard.

Even the thought of it turns me on.

ELODIE: I’ve gone to my boyfriend’s

house wearing just a coat with

nothing underneath. I love to do

quite risky things, it gets me off.

STRANGEST PLACE

JADE: I’ve done it in a pub toilet. When I

left, I still had bog roll on my shoe. It

wasn’t very erotic but just very funny now

that I look back. I love doing things in the

heat of the moment.

ELODIE: I often have sex in my boyfriend’s

car. He’s now got a Subaru. I feel a bit

strange that this turns me on so much and

that the type of car makes a difference. It’s

a very nice car though.

SEX TOYS

JADE: I don’t own a vibrator. I’m not sure

I even want one. There are so many better

ways to do it and shoving some electronic

gizmo between my legs is a complete

turn-off.

ELODIE: I have to disagree with you on that.

I’ve got a Rampant Rabbit. It’s fantastic.

Me and my boyfriend love it and we’re

always using it. He gets turned on by

NOW TALK TO ’EM LIVE!

JADE JARRETT

AGE: 21

FROM: Leeds

OCCUPATION: Hairdresser

FAVE DRINK: Margarita

FAVE FOOD: Indian

FAVE FILM: Love Actually

FAVE ACTOR: Colin Firth

FAVE HOLIDAY: Ibiza,

me using it and I love to tease him by

performing with it. Once I’ve done with

that, he always tries to compete with the

real thing – which is the best bit of it.

ONE-NIGHT STANDS

JADE: They don’t do it for me and I’ve never

had one. I bet the sex is crap and I just

don’t want to be used. It’s much better

when you get to know someone and know

what turns them on.

ELODIE: I don’t do them either. What’s the

point of getting drunk and then having

even more to regret the next morning? You

can experiment more with a partner.

I had sex in pub

toilet – it wasn’t

erotic, just funny!

WORST SEX

JADE: That threesome I had was the

worst sex I’ve ever had. I felt dirty and

unappreciated. I’m sure it must be a

turn-on for men but three is definitely

a crowd in my opinion.

ELODIE: I was once unfaithful and I felt

awful – so guilty. I couldn’t relax and

enjoy it as I was thinking about my

boyfriend the whole time.

BEST SEX

JADE: I once had sex on a secluded

beach and this man was watching

from afar. I was enjoying it so I didn’t

stop and the fact that we knew he was

watching turned us on even more.

ELODIE: I was walking past builders

wolf-whistling at me and I told one of

them to put his money where his

mouth was. So we both went over to

the site office and screwed on the floor.

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ELODIE BENT

AGE: 21

FROM: Leeds

OCCUPATION: Barmaid

FAVE DRINK: Cosmopolitan

FAVE FOOD: Italian

FAVE FILM: The Proposal

FAVE ACTOR: Daniel Craig

FAVE HOLIDAY: Mallorca

It wasn’t amazing sex, but the thought of

it was a turn-on.

LESBO LOVING

JADE: I haven’t – but I might. Women are

much more sensual and they know how to

please. I’m sure the sex would be great as

it would be very naughty.

ELODIE: No. Women don’t turn me on. I’m

definitely straight. There’s no substitute

for cock.

BUM FUN

JADE: I’ve never had anal sex. As far as I’m

concerned it is a one-way street. I don’t

mind a finger up there, but I don’t want to

go any further.

ELODIE: I’ve done it a few times. I quite like

double penetration if I’m drunk. It hurts

sometimes though, as men get carried

away with these things!

FANTASIES

JADE: I’d like to do it underneath a

waterfall. I guess I like the fact that it’s

secluded and I could imagine the sound of

gushing water and the wetness tickling

my skin. It would be perfect.

ELODIE: I’d like to do it in a lift in New York.

It would have to be a massive skyscraper

and we’d need plenty of time. We’d start

on the ground floor, frantically undressing

each other, kissing and licking all over

each other’s bodies. Then we’d start

having amazing sex, standing up and

getting screwed against the wall. And by

the time we were at the top, we’d fall out

into an amazing penthouse.

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46 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

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GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 47

AFTER an indulgent Christmas

and New Year there’s no

better time to get fit.

You could join a gym and

start to release some endorphins.

And here’s a cheeky look at some

breathless activities that might take

your fancy in 2019.

If you can handle a massive blow

to the head boxing might be the

sport for you.

Or maybe try the high jump – get

straight in there and watch your

bar raise right up!

Floor exercises are the always a

good way to get the heart pumping

and push-ups will give you the

classic up and downs.

Or how about some yoga? Push

yourself in hard and enjoy a right

good stretch.

Then there’s cycling – choose a

decent bike, climb on and have the

ride of your life!

A more gentle pursuit for you

could be snooker – there’s no better

feeling than bending over and

sinking the pink!

And don’t forget about tennis –

By JAYNE FERGUSON

news@sundaysport.co.uk

with its new balls and some naughty

games of mixed doubles.

Finally we recommend trying

squats, where leg day is always a

great day!

So as you see there are plenty of

ways to get fit in 2019 and get that

perfect body.

And before you know it women

will be letting you have your way

with them!

Don’t forget that protein intake –

making sure you put plenty of meat

inside, and you’ll end up with more

mass than a church congregation!

In the meantime, why not enjoy

some essential sports relief courtesy

of the No.1 UK porn channel –

Television X – showing uncensored

adult workout movies such as

John Cherry Cocksure Captain, Ball

Control, Fighting F**ks, Personal

Trainer Home Visits and FIT.

See all the action on Television X

by calling 0871 271 6869 or by

visiting www.televisionx.com

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48 January 6, 2019

B

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PICK

ON

THE

BRITAIN’S ONLY NAKED TV GUIDE

TODAY

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

with SIMON DEAN

TODAY

TCM, 11.25, Pat Garrett and Billy The Kid – A

WEATHERED cowboy slaps Rutanya Alda

before pulling off her top at one hour 31, and

then calling two other gals into the room for a

fourway foray. Yee-ha!

WEDNESDAY

Sony Movie Channel, 12.45am, A Single Shot –

AMY Sloan bares her lil’ pair as she sits on

the couch and watches some porn at 25 mins.

TOMORROW THURSDAY

TOMORROW

Film4, 1.45am, The Rum Diary – EXCELLENT

mambers from Amber Heard making out in

bed with Depp at one hour 40. You’ll definitely

have a Heard-on!

TUESDAY

Horror Channel, 9pm, The Hexecutioners –

SARAH Power strips to her bra and then gets

out of that to show her breasts as she gets

ready for bed. No timings, I’m afraid – but

what teats!

More4, 9pm, The Wolf of Wall Street – PACKED,

utterly jam-packed with teat, tush and tidy

minge, mainly courtesy of the lovely Margot

Robbie. And it’s a belting movie, too.

FRIDAY

Paramount Network, 11.35pm, Sin City – BASED

upon the black-hearted and brilliant graphic

novels written and illustrated by Frank

Miller, these four intertwining stories of street

fighters, street hookers and street cops

provide plenty of teat. Look out for Carla

Gugino at 16 mins.

Brexit: The Uncivil War –

C4, 9pm

DRAMA by James Graham providing a

behind-the-scenes exploration of the

2016 referendum on whether the UK

should leave the European Union, which

has had far-reaching consequences.

Chris Tarrant: Extreme

Railway Journeys:

Conquering the Alps –

C5, 9pm

THE broadcaster returns to find out

how railways have been central to

the history of four very different

parts of the world.

He begins by embarking on a

journey across the Alps, starting in

Vienna, before navigating one of

the worst avalanche zones in the

world.

He then heads for St Moritz on a

railway that was made possible in

part by British holiday pioneer

Thomas Cook, before boarding two

steep cog railways to climb up the

north face of the Eiger to reach the

‘Roof of Europe’.

Benedict Cumberbatch is Dominic

Cummings, the leading strategist and

campaign director of Vote Leave, while

Rory Kinnear is Craig Oliver, who oversaw

Remain’s communications strategy, as

the programme examines the anatomy

of a modern election campaign, and each

side’s controversial backers.

Tarrant’s trips will train your mind


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 49

OF THE TELLYManhunt

WWII classic’s

cast of legends

In Which We Serve –

BBC2, 1.40pm

WHEN a British destroyer is torpedoed

during the Battle of Crete, surviving

crew members are left clinging to the

wreckage, recalling their previous

adventures at sea – and the reasons

why they enlisted for service in the first

place.

Told in flashback, as the group of

stranded sailors await rescue, the film

is immensely moving.

Absolute classic of a World War II

drama, starring Noel Coward – who

co-directed with David Lean –

alongside John Mills, Bernard Miles,

Celia Johnson and, to complete a

stellar cast of acting legends, Richard

Attenborough.

TUESDAY

Silent Witness –

BBC1, 9pm

OK, this show has a chance to

redeem itself because the last

series became so preposterous as

to be unwatchable.

In this new series Nikki and

the Lyell Unit are called in to

investigate an attack against a

transgender man.

Two further assaults are then

reported, one leaving a potential

witness.

Return of the forensic drama,

starring Emilia Fox – and let’s be

fair, Emilia Fox with her startledbunny-rabbit

eyes is always worth

a watch.

DON’T

MISS

THIS!!!

Shut-Ins: Britain’s Fattest

People – Wednesday, C4,

9pm

DOCUMENTARY following the struggle

of three severely obese people as they

attempt to regain control of their lives.

Claire has been bed-bound for the last

six years. Trapped by her 40-stone body,

she can only see the world through the

window of the room where she spends

her life. She has two daughters – Tracey

and Jasmine. Tracey has two kids and

a home of her own, so the burden of care

falls mainly on 19-year-old Jasmine.

The programme tracks the family’s

battles to get Claire the help she needs.

Match of the Day Live: Newport County

v Leicester City – BBC1, 4.05pm

COVERAGE of the FA Cup third-round tie at Rodney Parade as

the League Two side entertain top-flight opposition.

Newport overcame Welsh rivals Wrexham 4-0 here in a

replay to reach this stage and had had a good run last season.

Leicester have never won this trophy and were eliminated

at home to Chelsea in the quarter-finals last term. Presented

by Gary Lineker, with analysis by Alan Shearer and Ian Wright.

The Secret Life of the Holiday

Resort –C5, 9pm

DOCUMENTARY lifting the lid on an all-inclusive

hotel in the heart of Spain’s Costa Brava, where

thousands of Brits flock each year to enjoy the easy

life, helping themselves to all the booze they can

drink and all the food they can eat.

An assortment of guests check in each week, all

with different reasons for escaping to the sun.

Appearing in the first episode are tattoo model

Ryan and his mates from Sheffield, former military

chef Ian Dean and his smooth-talking grandson

Jack, and newly-engaged fast-food workers Kurt

and Lizzi.

Manhunt


ITV, 9pm

By BARNEY SAMUELS

FACT-based crime

drama about the

police investigation

back in 2004 to catch

and bring to justice

serial killer Levi

Bellfield.

The case begins

when the dead body

of a French student is

discovered on

Twickenham Green,

having sustained

fatal head injuries.

Martin Clunes

stars as DCI Colin

Sutton of the

Metropolitan police,

who is placed in

charge of the

investigation.

Disturbing and yet

fascinating watch

that will keep you

glued to your set.


50 January 6, 2019 GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

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ONLY INSIDE THIS WEEK’S SIZZLING

MIDWEEK

ON SALE WEDS AND THURS

SARAH

RANDALL

UNLEASHES

HER MASSIVE

BOOBS

AND

TALKS

SEX!

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

MIDWEEK

READ THE LOT IN

ON SALE WEDS & THURS

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January 6, 2019 51

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52 January 6, 2019

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

CAROL

ALWAYS

KNOWS

BREAST!

CURVY Carol Goldnerova knows

exactly how to win any

argument – she uses her

massive 32E boobs!

The 38-year-old MILF porn star

says that men are reduced to

gibbering wrecks when they clap

eyes on her charms.

The busty beauty, from Prague in

the Czech Republic, said: “When you

have big boobs like mine, men are

putty in your hands.

“A flash of cleavage and they do

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

what you want every time. Oh yes, they

do, they really do.

“On the rare occasions that does not

work, I suck their cocks and put my

thumb up their ass.

“That works also. HA, HA!

“It has won me many pay rises for

my work.”

The blonde babe added: “I like cock

and the pussy also.

“Yum, yum – HA HA!”


GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 53


54 January 6, 2019 get the sport online free for a month! go to www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

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GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

January 6, 2019 55

Claudia’s

in it for

kicks!

DON’T go upsetting

curvy Claudia – because

she’s one fit kickass

KICKBOXER!

The 30-year-old, who

was born in Debrecen,

Hungary, reckons the

martial art keeps her in

tip top trim for modelling

– and also makes her feel

confident.

The 36C brunette beauty

– who was Hungarian

Playmate of the Year in

2005 – said: “It’s nice to

walk down the street

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

knowing I can look after

myself.

“But self-defence is not

the real reason I took up

kickboxing.

“I also like the discipline

and the hard, physical work

that goes into it.”

Claudia’s successful

modelling career began

shortly after the stunning

babe was discovered by a

photographer as she was

sitting in a

hair salon.

As well as

being a top

glamour

model,

Claudia has

also worked

for a number

of top firms.

Among them

are Cosmopolitan,

Maybelline, Mercedes and

Aston-Martin.

And she speaks three

different languages –

Hungarian, German and

English.

PUZZLE ANSWERS

NAME THE FLASHER

(P29): Louisa Lytton

NAME THE WET T-SHIRT

BABES (P29):

1. Kate Upton

2. Carmen Electra

3. Lisa Appleton

4. Ashley Graham

5. Lara Stone

6. Megan Fox

7. Abi Titmuss

8. Halsey

ALTERED IMAGE (P30):

Emily Ratajkowski

DEFACED! (P30):

Jose Mourinho

QUIZ ANSWERS (P30):

1 – B

2 – C

3 – A

4 – C

5 – C

6 – C

7 – A

8 – A

9 – A

10 – D

11 – D

12 – A

13 – C

14 – B

15 – B

COUNTDOWN

CONUNDRUM (P31):

Ice docking

SEXUAL EDUCATION

(P31): A

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

(P31)


56 January 6, 2019

GRAVEYARD SEX

WAS AMAZING!


January 6, 2019 57

By WENDY THOMAS

news@sundaysport.co.uk

MEGA-BOOBED babe

Angela White has a

kinky sex secret –

she loves BONKING in

naughty places!

The

Birmingham

beauty confessed she

once had nookie in a

church GRAVEYARD.

The 32G stunna said

she got the WILLIES

when in the cemetery –

but not in a spooky way.

Quickie

She revealed: “I met a

fit bloke on a night out

while clubbing and we

couldn’t wait until we got

back to his place.

“We ended up in a

graveyard for a quickie!

“I know it sounds a

bit morbid but it was

amazing – there’s always

the thrill that you can

get caught out!”


58 January 6, 2019

GET THE SPORT ONLINE FREE FOR A MONTH! GO TO www.sundaysportonline.co.uk

THE WORLD FAMOUS

AGONY

Dear Ava,

I AM a 27-year-old guy, not too bad looking, even if I say so myself,

but I find it hard to chat up women since I split with my ex two

years ago.

I haven’t got out much and spend a lot of time on my laptop. I

recently met a gorgeous girl on Facebook, but she lives in Russia.

We’ve been chatting online quite a bit and really get on like a house

on fire.

Now she wants to visit me in the UK but needs me to send her

money for a plane ticket.

My friends all think she is a con artist but I can’t believe it – and

she looks so hot, too.

What do you reckon?

MD, Glasgow

Dear Ava,

Ava says…

SORRY but your pals are very likely right. Try to meet

someone nearer home, and play it safe.

DIGESTIVE and bourbon, wafer and mint layers! Cover it in

chocolate and sell it half-price.

Yes it’s me, your highly-sexually charged biscuit factory

operative. What a whirlwind few months it’s been since I last

wrote to you. The factory’s churning ’em out and it seems like

the whole world’s chomping on a packet.

And that can only mean one thing – the factory girls are moist

for action. I’m dipping my jammy dodger in one of the new birds.

She’s young but she knows what she’s doing. Only yesterday I had

her up against a stack of family allsorts.

So all’s well, but is a biscuit with marshmallow on it a cake?

Promise me you’ll think about it.

RW, East Susscx

Ava says…

ER...Ok, I will.

DO YOU HAVE A SEX PROBLEM?

email: agony@sundaysport.co.uk

Mail: Agony, Sunday Sport,

860 Chester Road, Stretford,

Manchester M32 0QJ

X

SE CONFIDENTIAL

2019

TO BE

OUR

SEXIEST

YEAR

YET!

Hey, don’t move.

There’s something

up your ass,

darling.

Really?

What?

AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN ASSOCIATION


WELCOME to the World famous Sport Agony page!

■No other newspaper’s agony aunts can offer the

level of advice – or experience – than our own Agony

Angels! This week AVA DALUSH has been reading

through your letters and emails. Here’s her advice…

WITH

ME!

Ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha

BUNG!

Heh, heh.

Cheeky!

We’re too scared to dine on

nympho waitress’s fanny!

Dear Ava,

ME and my mate always

have a beer on a Friday

night and end up at a local

restaurant.

The waitress who serves

us always bungs us extra

and we give her a good tip.

But on our last visit she

gave US a treat – in the form

of a red-hot sex romp.

We knew she lived with her

“partner” but she said they

had split and she got upset, so

we offered to walk her home.

When we got to her flat she

invited us in and soon we were

having a laugh and some drinks.

After a while she got upset

again and as I consoled her she

felt my knob through my jeans.

My pal came over to the sofa

and sat on the other side of her

and soon we were both snogging

her and groping her breasts, then

heading for her bedroom.

Dear Ava,

Once we’d stripped she spread

her thighs and invited us to lick

her slit and finger her sopping

snatch while she twiddled her

own clit to climax.

I then thrust my dick into her

as my mate kissed and sucked her

nipples. Once I’d comeI rolled off

and my mate climbed on top.

After he’d lost his mess, she got

on her hands and knees and I

banged her doggy-style as she

sucked on my pal’s pecker.

Soon she climaxed and me and

my chum swapped places. We

were both knackered but she was

like a woman possessed and kept

on demanding that we screw her

until the early hours.

Now we’re afraid to go back to

the diner in case this nympho

drags us back to her place and

f**ks our brains out again.

What do you think?

SJ, Manchester

Ava says…

I THINK you’re a pair of pillocks –

there are millions of blokes who’d pay

to be in your position!

MY mate’s girlfriend is a stunna and I’ve been shagging her for the

last few months.

It started when my mate was working away from home and I saw

his girl in the local pub. I bought her a drink and we got chatting and

we ended up going back to her place.

There she told me that she hates it when my mate works away from

home because she needs to have sex every day. She then took off her

kit, got my cock out and sucked me off.

After she swallowed my spunk I licked her out and then boned her

from behind on the couch. It was brilliant grabbing hold of her

massive tits before spunking again.

I now shag her when my mate is away, which is usually a couple of

days a week. But she now wants to finish with him and move in with

me. I’m tempted, what should I do?

KF, Chelmsford

Ava says…

IF you like her and she likes you, then why not? You’ll lose a mate, though.

Y’ know…

I think 2019’s gonna be

our hottest year yet.

There’s so much I want

to try!

You bet!

More sex!

That’s our

resolution!

NNNNNG!

SHIIIIT!

Bexi

says…

It’s that kind of

sexy tomfoolery

that keeps a

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SUNDAY

62 January 6, 2019

MARCO WON’T

ANGRY: Benitez

Benitez

fed up

with Toon

troubles

RAFA Benitez could walk

out on Newcastle if he is

denied funds during this

month’s transfer window.

The Toon are in limbo as

owner Mike Ashley tries to

offload the club.

There are thought to be

four investors in the

running to buy Newcastle

but the process is proving

slow — too slow for the

manager.

The Toon are staring at

relegation and sit just two

points above Southampton

who are currently in the

final drop spot.

The fans have just

written an open letter to

Ashley, urging him to

release funds for Benitez

to spend this month.

They point out that the

club would be worth a lot

less if it drops into the

Championship or if their

proven quality manager

finally snaps and heads for

the exit.

Benitez is happy to have

the fans behind him but

knows it’s a long fight to

keep the Magpies in the

Premier League.

He shares the

frustration of the fans

after being given little

money to spend in the

summer either.

Chances

The Spaniard said:

“What I would say to

everyone is that when I

decided to come, it was

because of the potential of

the club and everything.

“I like to have a project

and then think about how

ambitious we can be.

“Try to be in the top 10,

that was the first idea, so I

understand how they feel.

“At the same time, I

have to do the best for the

team, the best that I can

to do my job to be sure

that we stay up and have

more chances to do well in

the future.

“What we have to do is

be sure we reach our

potential, the potential

that we can reach this

season, not the potential

that I hoped or that I was

expecting we could

reach.”

Newcastle have been

linked with an unlikely

move for former Liverpool

hitman Mario Balotelli.

Benitez managed the

fiery Italian for a short

time at Inter Milan and his

present club Nice are

looking to get shut of the

28-year-old.

He is without a league

goal in 10 appearances

this season and has been

shown the door by

manager Patrick Vieira.

Benitez said: “I won’t

talk about the transfer

window.”

SPEND HIS SILVA

MARCO Silva says panic buys are NOT the answer to Everton’s

Premier League problems.

After a bright start to life at Everton, the Goodison boys have managed

just one win in their past eight top-flight matches.

That has seen them plummet from the edge of the Champions League

race to midtable obscurity and 11th place. A couple more defeats and they

could even be drawn into the relegation battle, which seemed out of the

question earlier this campaign.

Silva was one of the busier

managers in the summer, trying to

overhaul his team.

It looked as though he had made

some good signings with the likes

of Lucas Digne, Andre Gomes and

Yerry Mina arriving.

But the wheels have come off

and any fans are urging him to beef

up the midfield — and get another

decent striker to support

Richarlison whose goals have

dried up.

Silva is having none of that,

insisting that he will only bring in

players if they are the right ones

to improve the team.

The Portugeezer said: “We

cannot change every week our idea

and philosophy as a club if you win

two games or you don’t win two

games.

“I understand our recent form

wasn’t good enough for us but it is

a moment and we are capable of

NO DEALS:

Marco Silva

changing things for us again by

winning matches.

“I will not come here and say ‘We

need this and this and this’.

Everything we are going we have

been doing from the first day we

are here.”

Another Silva has been

mentioned for a move to Goodison

— Barcelona’s Malcom Silva.

The Everton gaffer denies that’s

the case but the 21-year-old is the

sort of signing that could liven up

the Toffees.

He isn’t getting many chances at

the Nou Camp and would be

available on loan this month.

Silva isn’t keen on any more

signings that aren’t permanent

though.

He added: “The focus is on our

squad and our next game. We

didn’t take any decisions about the

other situations.”

Battlers

Another player Everton have

been keeping an eye on is

Sunderland starlet Josh Maja.

The 20-year-old has notched 15

goals for the Black Cats this season

as they try to break out of League

One.

Reports from the north-east

suggest the striker is looking for a

move and Everton are the biggest

team in the running.

Huddersfield and Cardiff are

also interested but the Toffees

should be able to see off the

relegation battlers.

West Ham youngster Reece

Oxford is another player being

linked with a Goodison move.

The 20-year-old plays either at

the back in a defensive midfield

position and Everton are short of

options there.

Arsenal are thought to be in the

driving seat but have yet to make

their move and risk losing out to

the Toffees.

GOMEZ BACK AFTER BREAK

By MARK NAYLOR

LIVERPOOL could have

key defender Joe Gomez

back in time for their next

Premier League match.

The classy centre-back

was much missed as

Manchester City beat the

Reds 2-1 on Thursday night

to reignite the title race.

Hapless Dejan Lovren

had a nightmare at the

Etihad in the position

usually filled by Gomez.

The England defender

suffered a leg injury in the

win at Burnley on

December 5. He will miss

BY ANDY MILLOM

the FA Cup tie against

Wolves on Monday night —

but could be back in time to

take on Bright in the

Premier League next

weekend.

The 21-year-old may not

be risked for Saturday’s

clash but there’s little doubt

that he’ll be back on duty

against Crystal Palace at

Anfield on January 19.

Boss Jurgen Klopp may

make a transfer window

TOFFEE TARGET:

Barca hitman

Malcom

move after letting Dominic

Solanke and Nathaniel

Clyne go to Bournemouth.

The latter is on loan with

the Cherries after falling

down the Anfield pecking

order this term.

But Solanke is moving to

Dean Court on a permanent

deal.

The 21-year-old has signed

for £19m after failing to

break into Klopp’s side.

The Reds are being linked

with a deal for Timo Werner

for around £35m.

The German has not

signed a new contract with

RB Leipzig and is expected

to leave for what looks a cutprice

fee.

He is the second top scorer

in the Bundesliga this

season with 11 despite not

playing as an out and out

striker.

He would fit into

Liverpool’s system as he

could play either through

the middle or wide, with the

Coutinho role another of his

favourites.

The 22-year-old is keen to

link up with Klopp.

BACK:

Gomez


LATEST NEWS FROM OLD TRAFFORD

NOT HAPPY:

Sanchez is

having a mare

at Old Trafford

KEY GOAL:

Aguero after his

strike against

Liverpool

SUNDAY

January 6, 2019 63

CHARLIE

McCANN

WITH HIS SPORT ODDS AND ENDS

REDS STILL

FAVOURITE

Spanish teams in

hunt for Sanchez

WAGES A WORRY FOR VALENCIA AND ATLETICO

ALEXIS Sanchez wants

to leave Manchester

United this month — with

Spain his most likely

destination.

The Chile international

has simply not settled at Old

Trafford since his move from

Arsenal.

And the 30-year-old has

already had enough despite

the arrival of Ole Gunnar

Solskjaer as manager.

Credible reports in Spain

suggest that both Valencia

and Atletico Madrid are in

talks about a move.

The big sticking point will

be his wages with neither

side able to afford the amazing

£400,000 a week he

By JOHN ANTHONY

trousers at Old Trafford. Outside

of Barcelona and Real

Madrid, no team in La Liga

can afford that sort of cash.

He would be much closer to

the £150,000 a week mark so

Sanchez faces a big call.

Does he want to spend a

couple of seasons rotting on

the bench at Old Trafford or

does he take a massive drop

to get first-team football.

Given that he’s unlikely to

get the call from Spain’s big

two, it’s either Paris St Germain

or a Chinese team if he

wants to earn close to the

cash he gets now.

Solskjaer has made it clear

that he wants to give the likes

of Marcus Rashford and Jesse

Lingard a chance rather than

some of the older forwards at

the club so the writing is on

the wall for Sanchez.

As United didn’t pay a big

fee for Sanchez they would be

willing to let him go on the

cheap to release his massive

wages for other signings.

Targets

Solskjaer is likely to dip

into the transfer market this

month, although it would be

a surprise if there were any

huge deals done.

A central midfielder is

likely to be high on his shopping

list.

He has been talking to chief

executive Ed Woodward

about potential targets. The

Norwegian said: “The club’s

probably had a plan.

“You don’t just plan the

next day and next month.

“But this transfer window

has probably been planned

since the summer and year

before, the next window, the

structure is phenomenal.

“I’m sure they’ve got their

targets.

“I’m here to voice my opinion

on that and I’m sure we’ll

sit down, me and Ed if we’ve

got anything in the pipeline.

“I’m here to work with the

ones I’ve got, they’ve all performed.

“And as long as they perform

they should get a chance

but that’s my job to improve

the team and individuals.”

FOR PREM

ANCHESTER City showed they were not going to

M

let go of their Premier League title without a fight

by beating Liverpool 2-1 in a high-quality, high-intensity

game at the Etihad between two fantastic teams on

Thursday.

I thought it was significant that in City skipper’s Vincent

Kompany’s post-match interview he spoke of

Liverpool being a “very physical and very aggressive

side” and City certainly matched that aggression — was

he fortunate to avoid a red card? — in a wonderful advertisement

for the division.

Liverpool still have a four-point lead over City at the

top-of-the-table and remain 8/11 favourites at BetVictor

to win the Premier League for the first time with

City 5/4 in what is basically a match in the second half

of the season.

Liverpool, I would argue, only have one potentially

difficult game, at Old Trafford, in the second half of the

season and I thought they were outstanding in defeat

at the Etihad. That four-point cushion could be pivotal.

The FA Cup takes centre stage this weekend and the

BBC cameras are at Newport County this afternoon for

the visit of Leicester City to Rodney Parade. The hosts

have yet to concede a goal in the competition this season,

but they have not faced a side of the quality of the

Foxes although, it goes without saying these days, that

Claude Puel will shuffle his pack in south Wales.

Leicester are 1/5 to win in 90 minutes with the Exiles

10/1 and the draw 9/2 with BetVictor. The Foxes are

20/1 to lift the Trophy and they have qualified from 10

of their last 11 ties with lower league opposition with

Millwall in 2017 the only blemish on that record.

Penalties

County did take Spurs to a replay last season and I

would not be surprised if the hosts got a draw and that

is the recommendation.

Wolves have lost their last couple of PL home games,

but they have taken points from five of the “big six”

already this season. The exception is Liverpool who won

2-0 in the Black Country last month and return to Molineux

tomorrow in, arguably, the tie of the round.

Wolves knocked Liverpool out of the competition two

years ago at Anfield and one strange stat ahead of the

tie, the Reds have been knocked out in five of their last

seven ties against Premier League opposition.

Wolves are 7/2 to win the tie with Liverpool 4/5 and

the draw at 27/10. There will be replays only in the 3rd

and 4th Round this season with extra-time and penalties

brought forward to the 5th Round and beyond.

Liverpool began the weekend 6/1 second favourites

for the Cup with Wolves 33/1 at BetVictor.

The big race at Naas today is the Grade 1 Novice

Hurdle and Tornado Flyer (1.50) who finished third in

the Champion Bumper last season can maintain his

unbeaten record over hurdles having created a very

favourable impression when scoring at Punchestown

on debut – he does have a habit of racing keenly and

a truly run race would suit. The tip is 13/8 at BetVictor.

BETVICTOR.COM

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NUMBER

ONE FAN

SEE

PAGE

12

JOSE THE

REAL

DEAL

Spanish giants

want him back

in Madrid NOW

By JOHN ANTHONY

REAL Madrid want Jose Mourinho

back for a second spell as manager.

The Spanish giants currently have Santiago

Solari in charge but he’s very much a

short-term solution after the sacking of

Julen Lopetegui just weeks into his tenure.

Real president Florentino Perez is angry

that his team are FOURTH in the Spanish

title race and already a whopping seven

points behind deadly rivals Barcelona.

With Benfica sniffing around Mourinho,

he wants to act this month to bring in the

former Manchester United boss.

The Special One managed Real from

2010-2013, winning the title from Barca

before falling out with key players like Iker

Casillas who is no longer at the club.

Perez has a good relationship with Mourinho

and wants him back as soon as possible.

MAD FOR IT:

Mourinho is

wanted in Spain

Published by Sunday Sport (2011) Limited, 860 Chester Road, Stretford, Manchester M32 0QJ. Tel: 08444 415 112. Printed at Newsprinters (Broxbourne) Ltd, Great Cambridge Road, Waltham Cross, Herts EN8 8DY. No.1,370 DISPLAY ADS & CLASSIFIED ADS: 0161 381 0180

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