7he_5und4y_5p0r7_27.01.2019_.

esporra

Naked train

rampage gets

drunk nicked

A WEIRDO was nicked

for indecent exposure

after he drunkenly got

naked on a train.

Cops were called to a

report of a man in the

altogether harassing

passengers.

When the train

pulled in to the station

officers spoke with the

conductor, who said

that a passenger on the

train who was “butt ass

naked” and “crawling

around”.

Police found Doyle

Walker (above), 63,

fully clothed again

when they nicked him

at the Palm Springs

station in California.

His arrest document

reads: “He was arrested

for public intoxication

and later charges were

added for indecent

exposure.

“Walker said he had

several drinks before

he got on the train. He

did not remember

getting naked.”

Walker claimed that

he had “four beers and

one Jack and Coke”

before getting on the

train and that he may

have “overdid it”.

He told cops that this

was his first drink in

years as they hauled

him off to the lock-up.

You don’t realise how

much shite you

photograph until you

go somewhere good

and your phone runs

out of memory. You’re

standing on top of the

Empire State Building

deleting fry-ups.

– Kevin Bridges

Eel-up-minge

woman jailed

A WOMAN who put a

video of her shoving an

EEL up her minge has

been jailed for 21 months.

During an interview the

woman, known as Qiqi,

said she wanted to make

a fast buck by hosting her

own live shows online.

She decided to go

“extreme” by offering

pornographic content.

She pocketed £10,000 in

just two months, a court

in Zhejiang, China, heard.

In March 2017, Qiqi,

28, set up a “VIP channel”

after getting a request

from a man that she

should perform with an

eel. The two-minute vid

was eventually widely

shared on social media.

Riding on her overnight

fame, Qiqi went on to use

an illegal streaming

platform called Tiger and

continued broadcasting

porn, including her

love-making with her

boyfriend.

Police arrested her in

May that year.

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January 27, 2019 17

Wife eats TEN hot Tesco chickens EVERY day

MEET ROTISSERIE

VALERIE!

WORLD

EXCLUSIVE

By

HUNGRY:

Chubby

Val and

(below)

some

Tesco

chickens

SIMON DEAN simon@sundaysport.co.uk

POSH cake shop Patisserie Valerie may

have gone tits-up but Val Spraint – aka

ROTISSERIE Valerie – is still going strong!

The 30-stone food lover got her nickname

because she scoffs no fewer than TEN

Tesco chickens cooked on the rotating

roasters EVERY DAY!

Val, 47, from Stroud, Gloucs, said: “I walk into

my Tesco and they say ‘Usual Val?’ and I say

‘Mmmm, yes please!’ and they get me 10

chickens off the rotisserie.

“Sometimes, if I’m feeling super peckish,

I’ll have a round dozen. I love roast

chicken, me.”

Voluptuous Val became hooked on

chicken cooked on a rotisserie after she

was romanced by an aged Welshman who

kept one of the roasting appliances in

his sheltered accommodation.

Fetish

She said: “He may have been half-mad and

very old but that man was the second-best

lover I’ve ever had – and, wow, could that

man cook chicken.

“I called him the Welsh Wizard!”

And Val – now happily married to Bob, 52 –

has a top way of paying for her poultry passion.

She said: “Men actually pay to see videos of

me eating a whole chicken in the Henry VIII

fashion – you know, ripping it apart with

my hands and stuffing it into my face.

“They call it gorging fetish and men

pay a fortune to watch.

“So I can easily afford 10 chickens

a day – with cheesecake for afters

most days!”

IT’S SNOW JOKE

A HARDWARE store

in Derby selling winter

salt that is “guaranteed

to get rid of troublesome

snowflakes” has been

branded “unhelpful” by

local youth welfare groups.

13p

per min

CHAT or

DATE

100s of

women

ONLINE NOW!!

0872

100

0602

13p

per min

0871 908 2023

CREAMY CRACKERS

GLUTTONS have been

seen queuing outside

branches of failed café

chain Patisserie Valerie

waiting for administrators

to hold a closing down

sale of its CAKES.

CHAT OR DATE

PER MIN

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