HP082219

20 | August 22, 2019 | The highland park landmark SOUND OFF
hplandmark.com
Letter to the Editor
What I learned from
having cancer
A little more than a year
ago, after diagnosing myself
with appendicitis as
per my google medical
research, I was diagnosed
instead with lymphoma.
From the moment I entered
the Highland Park
Hospital emergency room,
throughout my entire stay
at the hospital, before my
final biopsy results, every
doctor who came into my
hospital room spoke of
lymphoma kind of like I
would speak of chocolate
— the word easily rolled
off their tongues. That being
said, everyone at the
hospital was so nice.
As I was waiting for
more testing, in walked
Dr. Adess, who was my
doctor a few years back
for another much less serious
condition. Hearing
him tell me that we will
take care of this, and he
will be there for me, was
kind of like cuddling with
your favorite animal — I
instantly felt comforted.
Knowing he would be my
doctor was one less thing
to worry about. Two biopsies
later, after waiting one
very long and brutal week,
I was formally diagnosed
with non-Hodgkin’s RTPO
lymphoma. I remember
the feeling when I heard
Dr. Adess tell me. It was
almost a relief in an odd
way. The waiting, wondering,
creating horrible scenarios
in my head were no
longer necessary. He gave
me a diagnosis and we
soon had a plan.
One of the hardest parts
of this situation was telling
my children, as my husband,
mom and stepdad
were all at the emergency
room with me.
Being a pretty blunt
person, I summoned my
3 children (a 17-year-old
son, and twin 15-year-old
girls at the time) to the
deck where my husband,
Matt, and I had received
the news. So, I just came
out and said it.
“I have cancer. That is is
bad news, the good news is
it can be treated and I will
be ok.”
There were some tears
and many questions. Each
child handled the news
differently, but with reassurance
and some humor,
they felt confident I would
do what I needed to do and
ultimately I would be ok.
It was very important to
me that I kept the mood in
the house light — no doom
and gloom allowed in the
Heller house.
It’s not like we were doing
cartwheels, but I really
wanted to do my best
to maintain some sense
“Yes, I was dealt a little bad, but
the good far outweighed the
bad,”
- Hillary Heller, Highland Park resident on her
cancer diagnosis
of normalcy. I would start
chemotherapy at the end
of July after the girls went
to camp. I would speak
to them once a week and
I told them they must enjoy
their summer, and that
there is nothing anyone
can do at this point but just
keep on “keeping on.” My
son was home and preparing
for his freshman year
in college. I felt terrible for
him.
I began chemo and
would go to Kellogg 3
days once a month for 6
months. After that I will
have 2 years of maintenance-meaning,
one day
every other month for two
years, which is what I am
doing now.
On to what have I
learned — well, that is a
loaded question. Of course
there is the obvious: be
grateful for what you have,
because your life truly can
change in a matter of minutes.
Focus on the positives
because worrying
about the negative isn’t
going to change anything;
it just makes things worse.
Chemo brain is an actual
thing and lasts for a while.
A good under eye concealer
is a must, as going
through chemo is exhausting.
Filling in your eyebrows
is a game changer
and always wear lipstick.
But the most wonderful
thing I learned is what
I learned about my community.
I still can not get
over the kindness that was
shown to me — kindness
from people apologizing
when I finally told them
what was going on. Not
apologizing because I had
cancer, but actually and
sincerely feeling bad that
they didn’t know because
they couldn’t help me.
Almost everyone I connected
with at some level
was beyond giving. People
went out of their way to
cook for me, to bake for
me, to send me things, to
write me notes. There were
people regularly texting
me, just to check in. I, to
this day, am still humbled,
eternally grateful and
touched by the way people
went out of their way for
me.
I have learned that you
can never go wrong offering
a kind word, or sending
a text saying you are
thinking of someone. I
have learned that everyone
does the best they can
— some people are more
comfortable sending a text
or a note and not actually
talking.
This entire experience
has taught me and my
family so much. I feel so
fortunate to live in a community
where everyone
is so caring and extends
themselves so much.
In life you have to take
the good with the bad. Yes,
I was dealt a little bad, but
the good far outweighed
the bad.
I am fortunate to currently
be in remission. I
am still at a place where
my illness is in the forefront
of my mind. Negative
thoughts don’t consume
me, but it’s 8 months
later, and I am still not feeling
like my old self. I am
feeling much better, and
I know I will be back to
normal soon. I don’t worry
that I won’t be there for
my family (of course that
crossed my mind when diagnosed),
but I would be
lying if I said I don’t worry
I will get sick again.
Through all this I have
learned that support is vital
and immeasurable. I
have an amazing husband
and children and an incredibly
wonderful family
who is always here for
me. I learned to depend on
my closest friends in ways
I never thought I would
have to. Not surprisingly,
I learned that your friends
love you and want to help
you. I learned that everyone
wants to help. People
want to send you dinner, or
flowers or drive your kids
for you. It was so hard to
accept that help at the beginning.
As women and
mothers we train ourselves
not to depend on people.
When you are going
through chemo, your energy
is zapped and the help
offered is not just for you,
but your family as well.
Thank you Highland
Park. Thank you to everyone
who reached out
to me. Thank you for caring.
Thank you for your
love and kindness. Thank
you for restoring my faith
in human kindness. Highland
Park is such a beautiful,
interesting place. I am
so grateful that 17 years
ago I landed here.
Hillary Heller,
Highland Park resident
NFYN
From Page 18
The 7-Eleven would
also have five gasoline
pumps to service 10 vehicles
on the west end of the
property.
The applicant has purchased
the property since
that preliminary review;
however, GW Northbrook
2 failed to submit
a formal application for
modification within six
months of that meeting,
thereby resetting the process.
During the Northbrook
Village Board meeting on
Tuesday, Aug, 13, trustees
considered what amounted
to the same plan, which
included elements that
caused mild concern for
several trustees the first
time.
Reporting by Chris Pullam,
Freelance Reporter. Full
story at NorthbrookTower.
com.
THE GLENVIEW LANTERN
Lawsuit alleges Glenview
nursing home employees
abused, harassed 91-yearold
resident
A Glenview nursing
home and two of its former
employees are facing
a $1 million lawsuit over
alleged abuse and harassment
at the facility — including
an incident posted
on Snapchat by the former
employees.
The Abington of Glenview
nursing home and its
owner/operator Innovative
Management, as well as
former employees Brayan
Cortez, of Glenview,
and Jamie Montesa, were
sued Wednesday, Aug. 7,
in Cook County Circuit
Court by Margaret Battersby
Black, of the Levin
& Perconti law firm.
Black is representing
Margaret Collins, a
91-year-old former resident
at Abington of Glenview,
who was diagnosed
with dementia. Collins alleges
she was taunted by
Cortez and Montesa, who
worked as certified nursing
assistants at the nursing
home located at 3901
Glenview Road.
Cortez, 20, and Montesa,
21, were arrested Jan. 8
at the Glenview Police Department,
more than two
weeks after a video was
posted to Snapchat showing
Cortez and Montesa
taunting Collins.
A video of the incident
shows Collins holding a
blanket above her head
as one of the employees
shakes a hospital gown at
her and tosses it on her pillow.
The short video was
captioned with the words
“Margaret hates gowns”
alongside two laughing
emojis, according to the
lawsuit.
Reporting by Jason Addy,
Contributing Editor. Full
story at GlenviewLantern.
com.