Siouxland Magazine - Volume 1 Issue 3

alance
Inside and out.
Cultivating Your Life: From Darkness to Light
By Jackie Paulson
Do you really feel alive in your life right now?
Perhaps, you’ve asked this question before or at least
have in some way or another through some level of
exploration. Questions like these are not always easy to
enter into. They can bring up a host of further internal
conflicts, confusion and what I like to call “shadows” or
subconscious motivators to our choices that have led
us to where we are today and oftentimes create havoc
in our relationships with ourselves and with others.
These “shadows” are often feelings and aspects of the
self that have been cast deep into some dark place of
rejection. They hold an immense amount of power but
without holding them in some light, are projected out in
unhealthy ways.
As a therapist, I hear of people suffering in some
situation in their life and yet do not seek the support
and guidance that could liberate the tension that holds
them. I have been reflecting on what really stops us
from peering into the shadows of our own pain and
discomfort, especially with someone else alongside
of us that can be a witness and a guide to our journey.
We just “keep going” amongst the daily business of our
lives, hoping we will forget that there is something deep
inside us yearning to be heard, felt and seen. It’s always
there whispering in some form or screaming in some
behavior. Either way, there is a power in there, that if
uncovered can be incredibly liberating, albeit requires a
sense of responsibility and attention.
Warmer weather is upon us. It’s hard not to be inspired
by that feeling of fresh life after a long winter. Hopefully, it
has motivated you to begin the yard work that comes with
it. There is raking up the dead stuff in the surface, pulling
out the roots that no longer produce life, and further
cultivating the space for the raw new buds to rise up.
Just like the dark cold of winter, the shadow aspect of
the self, our pain and our grief are often uninviting and
uncomfortable. Going into it deeper and pulling up and
out the “rot” inside, doesn’t sound very pleasant. Who
would willingly enter into that kind of work? And yet, we
do, every year when spring emerges from the dark winter
months, in our gardens and in our homes. We trust that
nature has something beautiful waiting for us underneath
the dirt and so we dive in with excitement. Despite the
time, effort and getting dirty, we willingly make it happen
knowing the fruit of our labor will be enjoyed in just a
short time.
It’s important to remember within that excitement, the
importance of time. We are patient with nature, knowing
that the small seeds and dainty flowers will soon bud into
a cornucopia of nourishing and refreshing life to imbibe