VL - Issue 29 - November 2018

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE
A Publication of Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries
Quarterly Publication
Issue 3 2018
Jon
Ponder
Nothing is Impossible

I WAS IN
PRISON
And You Visited Me.
Matthew 25:36
SEND VICTORIOUS LIVING
AND GIVE THE GIFT OF FREEDOM.
People everywhere are held captive. Some are in actual prisons while others are held captive by
unhealthy relationships, addictions, declining health, financial hardships, or other circumstances.
Visit kojministries.org to discover how you can receive this magazine while
simultaneously sending hope and help to a captive today.
ARE YOU IN NEED OF
ENCOURAGEMENT?
Our Correspondence Team is here for you. Every day,
people reach out to Victorious Living through letters
asking for prayers, encouragement, and mentoring
to help them grow in their faith and find freedom
from past and present circumstances.
Every person who contacts our Victorious Living
Correspondence Team receives in-depth monthly
Bible studies, personal correspondence, and a
quarterly copy of Victorious Living.
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BE SURE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, AND DOC# ARE CLEARLY READABLE

FEATURES
8 No Longer Rejected
“My skin was too light for the black
community and too dark for the white
community.” Through a turbulent
childhood, Tamar Burch knew the pain
and rejection of being biracial, but she
also knew God loved her regardless of
the color of her skin.
Tamar Burch
10 When You Can’t
See the Answer
Autistic triplets…a failed marriage…
the challenges of single parenthood.
Michael Woods had always heard that
God allows things into our lives for His
good purposes. But how much more
could one man take?
Michael Woods
16 Stepping into the Jordan
A survivor of the sex trafficking
industry and former drug-dealing
addict, Christa Hicks tells how God
took the ashes of her surrendered life
and gave her hope, freedom, peace,
and purpose.
Christa Hicks
19 Five Steps to Restoration
of the Soul
Christa Hicks
20 Nothing Is Impossible
From federal prison to the White
House Rose Garden, Jon Ponder
knows there are no limits to what
God can do with a life that’s totally
surrendered to Him.
Jon Ponder
23 Answer Your Call
Jon Ponder
On the Cover
Jon Ponder, founder of HOPE
for Prisoners, is living proof
that when someone surrenders
their life to God, they position
themselves to receive new life.
VICTORIOUS LIVING MISSION
Victorious Living encourages hearts and equips minds through testimonials of God’s grace, love, and power in the lives of everyday people.
Please consider supporting this incredible outreach of hope and freedom.
General and Subscription Inquiries
Victorious Living
PO Box 120951 • Clermont, FL 34712-0951
352-478-2098 • info@kojministries.org
HOW TO REACH VICTORIOUS LIVING
All Inmate Correspondence
Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach
PO Box 328 • Starke, FL 32091
4 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE
A Publication of Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries
7 I’ll Pray for You
Discover the privilege of praying
for others. Your words may be just
the catalyst God uses to bring lifechanging
results for your friend, and
maybe you too.
Sarah Beckman
13 Three-Day-Old Coffee
Is your prayer life fresh and
invigorating, or is it as stale and cold
as three-day-old coffee?
Michael Clark
14 Fellowship in
Relationship
When you ask Jesus into your life, you
enter into a relationship with the God
of the universe. But He offers so much
more. Spend time in His presence,
and you’ll find fellowship with the
God of your soul.
Linda Cubbedge-Smith
15 Just in Time
Give God your life and your
circumstances. No matter the
situation, no matter the choices you’ve
made—when you turn to Him, He will
be there, just in time, every time.
Tracy Morrissey
18 Free Indeed
God’s love can take you from the
depths of despair to the joy of new
life, regardless of your circumstances.
Richard Amabile
24 No More Running
on Empty
Having survived a traumatic childhood
at the hands of her father, Nancy
Johnson will be the first to tell you
that, no matter how painful your past,
God can still use you for His glory.
Nancy Johnson
27 Understanding My Part
God calls us into relationship with
Him…but what part do we play in
this connection?
Roy Borges
31 Daddy, Why Do You Love
Cocaine More Than Me?
The freedom you’re looking for comes
in surrender. Release your idols and
surrender to the God who loves you.
Kim Brian Woerner
32 No Longer
“Stupid Renner”
Knowing who you are in Christ
makes all the difference when the
world makes fun and tries to
knock you down.
Rick Renner
33 Somebody Doesn’t
Like Me
Don’t build your approval rating on
the opinions of man. The only opinion
that matters is God’s.
Kenny Munds
34 What Does a Daddy Do?
The unfailing love of our Father God
cannot be measured; it is better
than life.
Kristi Dews Dale
35 Love Covers
How do you respond when you
hear that a Christian has fallen into
sin? Love doesn’t gossip, judge, or
condemn. Love provides cover and
points them to Christ.
Bonnie Hagemann
ISSUE 3, AUGUST 2018
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up;
do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:18–19
Publisher & Executive Director | Kristi Overton Johnson
f
Editor | Rachel F. Overton, Wordscapes
Chief Photographer | Timothy Smith, Honor Photography
Creative Director | Amy Zackowski, Whispering Dog Design Inc.
Director of Prison Correspondence | Linda Cubbedge-Smith
Accounting Manager | Gizzella Guba
Partnership Support | info@kojministries.org
f
Contributing Writers
Albert M., Richard Amabile, Sarah Beckman, Roy Borges, Tamar Burch,
Michael Clark, Clint, Linda Cubbedge-Smith, Kristi Dews Dale,
Bonnie Hagemann, Christa Hicks (Diane Strack),
Kristi Overton Johnson, Nancy Johnson, Tracy Morrissey, Kenny Munds,
Jon Ponder, Rick Renner, George Starks (Carole Engle Avriett),
Kim Brian Woerner, Michael Woods.
f
Cover Photography | Timothy Smith Honor Photography
f
Photography
HOPE for Prisoners, One More Child,
Timothy Smith Honor Photography
f
Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible,
New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House
Foundation. | Scripture marked ESV is taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard
Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing
ministry of Good News Publishers. | Scripture marked NASB is taken from the
New American Standard Bible. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972,
1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. | Scripture marked NKJV is
taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
All scripture is used by permission. All rights reserved.
IN EVERY ISSUE
6 PUBLISHER’S NOTE | Say Yes!
12 HELP ME UNDERSTAND | Forgiveness
28 MINISTRY NEWS
29 FROM OUR READERS
30 LETTERS OF HOPE | Miracles Still Happen
36 KEYS TO VICTORIOUS LIVING | Moving Forward Through the Tough Stuff
38 OUR CONTRIBUTORS
39 FROM THE FATHER’S HEART | Peace Like a River
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 5

PUBLISHER’S NOTE
Say Yes!
GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST
Kristi and Jon Ponder take a selfie at a
prison reform event at the White House.
"FOR I KNOW THE
PLANS I HAVE FOR
YOU," SAYS THE
LORD. "THEY ARE
PLANS FOR GOOD
AND NOT FOR
DISASTER, TO GIVE
YOU A FUTURE AND
A HOPE."
JEREMIAH 29:11
I love what I do.
Through this magazine and the ministries
God has entrusted to me, I get to meet the most
amazing people, hear their incredible life stories,
and then share them with you—including people
like Jon Ponder, the subject of our cover story.
The first time I met Jon in person, we were sitting
two seats down from one another in a meeting
at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, a
building that houses most of the White House staff.
We had been invited to be a part of the faithbased
initiative team for prison reform. About
halfway through the meeting, we each noticed
the other’s nameplate, leaned forward, and gave
each other big smiles. Before that moment, we had
only heard about each other from a mutual friend,
Tamar Burch, also a feature story in this issue.
When she’d heard about the impact Victorious
Living was having in the prison system, she said,
“Girl, you have got to meet my friend Jon!”
Watching this humble man communicate with
our nation’s top officials and hearing his story, I
knew why Tamar had encouraged our connection.
He truly is a remarkable man.
After the meeting concluded, Jon and I decided
to have lunch together. We wanted to hear what
God was doing in each other’s ministries. We were
winding our way through the Eisenhower building,
trying to find our way out, when we passed a sign
that caught my eye. It said, “Office of the Vice
President.”
“Jon, look at that.” We started laughing and
simultaneously asked, “How did we get here?”
How did I, a former water skier, now public
speaker and publisher, and Jon, a former gang
member and convict, now mentor to thousands of
inmates, get invited to the White House?
We both knew there was only one answer: God.
God brought us to this place. God brought us
to that meeting. And God brought us together
for this moment—to be part of what He is doing
in this nation’s prison system. It was an incredibly
humbling moment.
Neither of us are anything special. We’re just two
people who said yes to God and stepped out with
Him. And those steps continually lead us to places
we would never have imagined going.
Today, God is inviting you to say yes to Him as
well. He has so much for you, so much more than
what you are experiencing.
Does that mean that if you say yes, you’ll end
up at the White House? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s
not the point. The point is, when you say yes to
God, He will change your life. He changed mine;
He changed Jon’s. He’s changed every person’s
life that you will read about in this magazine, and
I have a hundred testimonies—or more—sitting
on my desk, all attesting to the life change that
happens when someone says yes to God.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what your past
or present circumstances are. All that matters is
whether you will say yes to God.
Will you take steps of faith toward Him? Will you
give Him what you have and trust Him with what
you don’t? Will you be faithful where you are and
trust Him with your tomorrow? Will you let go of
what you are hanging onto and grab hold of what
He has for you?
If you do, everything will change. God will direct
your steps and bring you to a place of victory. He
will never, ever fail you.
I hope you enjoy meeting my friends in the
pages of this issue. I know their life stories will
bless you.
As you read, please know this…God is not a
respecter of persons. In other words, He doesn’t
play favorites. What He did for Jon Ponder…what
He did for Tamar Burch…what He did for Nancy
Johnson, Tracy Morrisey, Rick Renner, and all the
others in this issue—He’ll do it for you, too.
All it takes is you saying yes—God will take care
of the rest!
Sincerely,
Kristi
6 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

I’ll Pray for You
by Sarah Beckman
It was peaceful and still in the house, around
10 p.m. My kids were finally asleep for the night,
and I was anticipating my regular evening phone
call. My best friend and I were both going through
rough times—she undergoing cancer treatment,
me laid up in bed recovering from yet another
back surgery—and we talked together each night.
Our conversations were a highlight of my day,
even if they were filled with the mundane talk of
children, husbands, or current health woes. They
were our chance to connect, since we couldn’t see
each other in person.
But that night’s call was different. I sensed that
in her voice immediately. She simply said, “I am
having a hard day. I know I should pray, but I don’t
want to. I just can’t bring myself to start. Would
you pray for me?”
Um. Yes. A thousand times, yes.
That night I prayed for my friend because she
needed someone to intercede on her behalf—to
speak for her because she didn’t feel like she could;
to ask what she couldn’t ask in that moment. And I
was humbled to go to the throne for her, with her.
I knew what she was feeling.
A few years earlier, as I was awaiting a spinal
MRI result, I got the call that my father had passed
away. I was crushed. I was stuck in a bed, far from
my family, and unknowingly weeks away from
what would be my second back surgery in as
many years. I was in deep pain—physically and
emotionally.
And I couldn't do it on my own, either. So I
called on my friends to pray for me.
I dialed one person after another, asking
them if they’d pray out loud for me right then
on the phone. I didn’t have the energy, ability,
or inclination to do it myself. And they did. With
each passing prayer, my intense grief was slowly
replaced with a peace and comfort that wasn’t
there before.
On that difficult day, I discovered the power of
true intercession when a person you care about
is facing a tragedy, health crisis, divorce, loss, or
other hard season.
I learned that prayer is where the helping
gets holy.
Prayer brings light, truth, peace, and comfort
better than any other means of expressing support
to a hurting friend. And yet, there are so many
times we don’t do it. We miss the opportunity
because it’s not convenient (are there lots of
people around?), it’s hard (are we used to praying
out loud?), or we feel inadequate (am I a good
enough pray-er?).
But Paul’s biblical directive is: “Be cheerful
no matter what; pray all the time; thank
God no matter what happens. This is the way
God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live”
(1 Thessalonians 5:17 MSG).
For some people, prayer comes naturally.
For others, it's hard work. But with the help of
the Holy Spirit, anyone—even you—can enter
into the holy space of standing in the gap and
praying for a hurting friend in their greatest time
of need.
Don’t let your inhibitions stop you. Your words
may be just the catalyst God uses to bring lifechanging
results for your friend—and maybe for
you too. V
Prayer is where the helping gets holy.
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 7

No
Longer
Rejected
by Tamar Burch
I couldn’t control how people did or
didn’t receive me, but I could focus on
how God received me. He loved me
regardless of the color of my skin.
I grew up in southern California in a biracial
family. My mom was a white Jewish lady; my
dad was black. Because she married a non-
Jewish black man, my mother’s family rejected
her—which means I was rejected too. Rejection
would be a constant theme in my life for years.
There was a lot of abuse in my home, more
than any little girl should ever witness. It was
terrifying. My mother, on many occasions,
packed up my sister and me and we moved, but
Dad always found us. And the violence escalated.
To make ends meet. Mom worked two jobs.
Since she was away from the house a lot, I
became a momma bear, caring for my younger
sister. I felt a tremendous responsibility to protect
her, but being so young, I often failed. It was a
heavy load for a little girl to carry.
Mom often sent my sister and me to our
paternal grandparents while she worked, and
they took us to visit our dad’s brother. No one
knew it, but our uncle began molesting my sister
and me when we were five and three. He did
this for several years. One day my sister told my
mother, and she took us to our grandparents and
confronted the family. We were never welcomed
there again.
At the time, we lived in the heart of Los
Angeles. Mom remarried and became a
Christian. Our family grew, and I became the
oldest of five siblings at the time. With gang
violence growing in our neighborhood, my
mom and stepfather decided to move our family
to a safer location outside the heart of the city.
This new neighborhood, however, presented
fresh challenges in the form of racism. Not only
were my siblings and I biracial, my stepfather
was black, and we had moved into an all-white
community.
Not truly belonging to any race was difficult.
My skin was too light for the black community
and too dark for the white community. No one
could see past the color of my skin. Not even
8 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

My taking the life of this unborn child would grieve the very heart of God. But I was living in my father’s house, and he was
paying for my college tuition. I felt more obligated to him than to God. I felt like I didn’t have a choice.
people in the church. Every day, hateful people
stared at me in disgust. I had learned at a young
age that if I focused on their stares, I would be
miserable. Instead, I learned to focus on how God
received me--and I knew He loved me regardless
of the color of my skin.
I learned this from my mother and stepfather.
They made sure we kids understood that we
had value beyond the color of our skin. They
also taught us to love. My parents never stopped
pursuing and loving people, regardless of how
they acted in return.
My parents set such a beautiful example of love
before us every day, even to those who despised
us. I remember my stepfather standing in the
front yard each morning while we kids walked
to the bus stop. Our neighbor did the same. My
stepfather never failed to wave hello…and our
neighbor never failed to turn around and walk
inside without acknowledging him. I watched this
happen for ten years. And then one day, my dad’s
faithfulness to show love finally broke through,
and that man began to speak to my father.
That story reminds me of how God pursues us.
His love is relentless.
Because of our color, the neighbors would not
allow their children to interact with our family.
But the love of God drew those kids to our home
anyway. It was like a magnet—they just couldn’t
stay away. Through the years, hundreds of kids
came to our house. They would sit and talk with
my parents, who poured out the love of Christ to
them despite the hatred their parents showed us.
It was amazing to witness God’s love break
through barriers and draw those kids in. The love
and faith of my parents enabled our family to
endure those many years of rejection.
Unfortunately, as I became a teen, the faith of
my parents was no longer enough.
You see, although I knew about Jesus and had
seen His love demonstrated in my home, I hadn’t
made a personal relationship with Him a priority in
my own life. As a result, I began to struggle with my
identity and started hanging out with the wrong
crowd. I think subconsciously, I was gravitating
toward someone like my biological father. It didn’t
take long for me to find him, and that led to my
being in a situation just like my mother’s. I stayed
in this abusive relationship for four and a half
years, against the pleading of my family.
Right before I graduated from high school,
my biological father reappeared and wanted a
relationship. I hadn’t seen him in over a decade.
He was a stranger to me and had another family.
Yet, something in me longed for a relationship
with him, so I went to college in LA and started
living with him and his family. He made it known
that he didn’t like the guy I was dating. Ironic, isn’t
it, that my father, who had abused my mother so
violently, didn’t like the fact I was dating someone
who did the same thing?
The first time I was sexually active with my
boyfriend, I got pregnant. My dad sat me down,
gave me a blank check, and told me not to come
back to his home until it was taken care of it. That
broke me. I knew how God viewed abortion. My
taking the life of this unborn child would grieve the
very heart of God. But I was living in my father’s
house, and he was paying for my college tuition. I
felt more obligated to him than to God. I felt like I
didn’t have a choice.
My mom was against the decision, but she
was there for me, nonetheless. Afterward,
things went from bad to worse. The procedure
wasn’t performed properly, and I had a terrible
reaction. I had to go back to the facility and have
the procedure done again. I felt like God was
punishing me. I know now that God doesn’t
operate that way, but at the time, I was convinced
I deserved it.
I went back to live with my father, but he
had no concern for how I was doing physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. It took me a long time
to recover from the abortion, and eventually he
threw me out of the house. Needless to say, I
didn’t finish my college education.
All that, and I stayed in the abusive relationship
too. It was when my boyfriend broke both sides of
my jaw that my mother tried to reason with me.
“Tamar, does love do this to you?” she asked.
“How many more times will you go through this?
It’s going to come to a point where either you will
kill him, or he will kill you. You have to get out!”
But I didn’t listen; I had lost any sense of selfworth.
I stayed and got pregnant by him again.
This time I told him I was not giving up the baby.
God took all the hurt and evil in Tamar's life and
brought beauty from her ashes. Pictured above (back
left) with her husband Tim, children Tayani and Trey,
and grandson, Mason.
Tim and Tamar on a stroll with grandson, Mason,
continuing the blessing of strong family relationship.
continued on page 27
Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 9

When You Can’t See the Answer
by Michael Woods
As a Marine, I had never met a challenge
I couldn’t tackle. And then my wife and I had
triplet boys…and they were all diagnosed with
autism.
The diagnosis came when the boys were two
years old. The Marine in me said, “No problem.
I’ve got this!” Eventually, however, reality set in,
and this tough guy realized he’d met his match.
I started praying, reading my Bible, and serving
at the church. I even became a deacon, helping
other families when my own family seemed to
need help the most. Surely, I reasoned, if I did
enough good things for God and other people,
He’d do good things for me and make my life
easier. But my situation stayed the same. And
then it got worse.
When the boys were seven, my wife, their
mother, walked out on the four of us with these
words, “This is not how I wanted my life to turn
out. This isn’t what I bargained for.” She gave
me full custody of the children and moved to
another state.
Today, I hold no bitterness toward her. Life was
hard. It still is. Chaos ruled our home, as the boys
were unable to adequately verbalize their needs.
Physical outbursts, screaming, tantrums—these
were all part of a normal day. It was more than
she could handle; the challenges of a life-long
diagnosis of autism were too much. I understand
that now.
But in the moment, I was angry. I was hurt.
Toward her and God. All I could think was, Really,
God? Are you kidding me?! I stood in my kitchen
and shook my fist at the ceiling in disbelief. Now,
I was a single father of autistic triplets. “All right
then,” I growled. “If this is what this Christian life
is all about, then I’m done. We are done!” And
with that, I walked away. Fortunately, He never
walked away from me.
I just couldn’t understand how a loving God
could allow so many heartaches in one man’s
life. Don’t get me wrong. I love my children more
than anything, and I have found many blessings
in the midst of our situation. But that doesn’t
change the fact that there are very real, often
overwhelming challenges that parents of special
needs children face. And I was then, and I am
still, facing them.
In my defiance, I put my Bible down and quit
going to church. If God wouldn’t help me, then
so be it. I would be just fine on my own. But I
wasn’t. Years went by, and I felt like I was sinking
beneath the weight of it all. I needed a lifeline.
God sent this lifeline in the form of people—
brothers and sisters in Christ, all with the
same message: “Michael, God doesn’t hate
you. He hasn’t abandoned you, nor has He
turned His back on you.” Each encouraged
me to change how I thought about God. My
view of Him wasn’t lining up with who He
truly is, a loving God. I just couldn’t see that
truth in the midst of the chaos and pain of my
circumstances.
He even sent a godly woman to stand by
me and my boys, when I thought we’d be on
our own forever. The boys were nine when we
first met Linda. I had given up on the idea of
ever being married again; I mean, who would
walk into this scenario by choice? But God sent
a fighter, one who has the strength to face the
hard things. Against the advice of all her friends,
she stepped into our lives. We were married, and
eleven years later, she is still here in the fight with
us. I am forever thankful.
Little by little, God used all these people to fan
into flame the faith that had once lived in my heart.
After years of running from God, I begrudgingly
went back to church. My feet took me there even
though my heart was far from it. I went through
all the motions. I stood up during the worship
songs, but I didn’t sing a word. I bowed my head
when the pastor prayed, but I refused to close my
eyes. I sat there while the pastor preached, but I
daydreamed through the sermon. Weeks went
by, and God kept chipping away at that hard heart
of mine. The things I was hearing each Sunday,
even though I was determined not to listen, were
penetrating my heart.
God gave me bits and pieces of understanding
that He really did love me after all. And He loved
my boys. I realized He hated the brokenness and
pain in our lives as much or more than I did.
I began to see He was there helping me, more
than I knew. He wasn’t some jokester on a throne,
hurling pain my way for His own entertainment.
No, He was a God who sympathizes with the
pain of His children. He cared. And He wanted
to help ease my load, to give me His strength
to endure.
I’ve always heard that God allows things in
our lives for His good purposes. I do have to
say, He isn’t as good as sharing those purposes
with me as I’d like, but I’ve come to realize that
not knowing the why behind everything has
developed my faith. Because I don’t know His
plan, I’ve had to learn to walk each day, often
moment by moment, trusting His love even
when I don’t understand or feel it.
IF GOD HAD ANSWERED MY PRAYERS LIKE I WANTED,
LIFE WOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT ME. I WOULD
HAVE TREATED HIM LIKE A GENIE IN A BOTTLE OR A
VENDING MACHINE.
10 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

Michael and his triplet sons, Jake, Jon, and Josh, have faced the challenges of autism and use their experiences to help other families with special-needs children.
SURELY, I REASONED, IF I DID ENOUGH
GOOD THINGS FOR GOD AND OTHER
PEOPLE, HE’D DO GOOD THINGS FOR ME
AND MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.
Because of this, I’m a better father, husband, brother in Christ, son,
and friend. All that struggling and wrestling with my faith has made me
who I am, and it has brought me to a better realization of who God is.
He is a good Father, and He can be trusted.
Early in my faith life, I turned to God because I wanted Him to fix
everything. Fix me; fix my boys; fix my marriage…it was all about me
and my situations, never about God and my relationship with Him. If
God had answered my prayers like I wanted, life would have always
been about me. I would have treated Him like a genie in a bottle or a
vending machine.
Today I strive to focus on the truth of who God is, not on what He
can do for me. My circumstances aren’t any easier, but my walk with
God is better. Sure, there are days this old Marine just wants to fix it all,
but despite my circumstances, God has granted me His peace. And that
helps me take the next step, even when I don’t feel like taking it.
Do you need help taking the next step, whatever it is? Perhaps
your world has been rocked by an overwhelming life circumstance,
and you’re asking why. You’re looking for answers. You might never
get them. Maybe, like me, you’ll have to settle for the simple fact that
we live in a fallen, sinful world, and bad things just happen, even to
good people. That’s how it is, but God is just as broken about it as
you are. I believe you have to come to peace with that if you ever
want to move forward. And the only way to find peace with your
circumstances is to find peace with God…because He is the God
of peace. V
God brought Michael a gift in his wife, Linda. She has been a source of strength to
Michael and the boys.
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 11

HELP ME UNDERSTAND
Dear Victorious Living,
What is the big deal about forgiveness? I’ve been hurt lots of times, and usually by family or friends who should have had my back. I know God tells us to forgive
people who hurt us, but what if I don’t want to forgive them? I don’t think I can. Why should I forgive someone who has hurt me, especially if they don’t even ask for
my forgiveness? Help me understand how I can obey what God is telling me to do and why it’s important.
Sincerely, Dave
Dear Dave,
Let me begin by saying how sorry I am that
your family and friends have hurt you so badly.
Your question is a valid one and an issue that
most people go through at some point in their
Christian walk. I’ve been where you are, and I
personally know how painful it can be. I want to
share some of my experiences that I feel will help
you on your journey.
There are four elements of forgiveness. The
first deals with us receiving forgiveness from
God. The second means we’re able to forgive
ourselves for things we’ve done. The third
element requires us to recognize the hurt we’ve
caused others and ask for their forgiveness.
Finally, the fourth piece of forgiveness happens
when we forgive those who have hurt us.
When we are the person who has been
wronged, forgiveness is hard to give. When we
are the one who has done the hurting, asking
for forgiveness takes great courage. So we
need to understand that offering and accepting
forgiveness is a unique process for each person.
Some people find it easy, while others find it to
be hard work. Nevertheless, forgiveness is real
and available to anyone who is willing to listen
and obey God’s Word.
Merriam-Webster’s definition of forgiveness
includes: “to give up resentment of or claim to
requital for; to cease to feel resentment against
an offender.” There’s a lot more to forgiveness
than just forgiving someone who’s hurt us.
To really understand it, we must look at it all the
way around.
RECEIVE FORGIVENESS
The first element of forgiveness is receiving
forgiveness from God. First John 1:9 says, “If we
confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all
wickedness.” All we have to do is confess our sin,
and He forgives us. But it gets better! In Hebrews
8:12, God says, “I will forgive their wickedness,
and I will never again remember their sins.”
Is it really that easy? The answer is yes! When
we come to God with our problems and the sins
that we’ve committed, and we confess them to
Him, He promises that He will forgive us, cleanse
us, and remember those things no more.
FORGIVE YOURSELF
The second element of forgiveness is being
able to forgive yourself. This area was especially
difficult for me, because I knew my actions had
hurt my family. I had confessed my sins to them
and had asked for their forgiveness, and they
were willing to forgive me. They even assured
me that they still loved me very much. But for
some reason, I could not forgive myself. No
matter what I did or said, I still held my own sins
against myself.
As I struggled with this issue, I asked a few
close friends to pray for me, that I would find
forgiveness for myself. One friend took me aside
and asked, “Do you think you’re better than
God?” I answered him by saying, “No way!” He
went on to ask, “If Almighty God can forgive you,
then how is it that you can’t forgive yourself? Are
your standards higher than God’s?”
Suddenly, it clicked—if God can forgive me,
then I have no reason not to forgive myself. When
I finally understood that, I was liberated, freed
from the shackles that I had placed upon myself.
LOOK WITHIN
The third element of forgiveness moves
outward from ourselves—we must confront our
own wrongs and apologize for how we’ve hurt
others. It can be difficult to ask for forgiveness
from those we have wronged, because in doing
so, we subject ourselves to the mercy of the
individual. Pride cannot be present when you
humble yourself and ask for forgiveness. As
difficult as it may be, it is a key element to finding
freedom from the past.
EXTEND FORGIVENESS
Finally, we come to the fourth element of
forgiveness—learning to extend it when we’ve
been hurt. A sincere apology makes that easier,
but why should we forgive others if they haven’t
asked us to? The simple answer? Because God
tells us to.
Matthew 6:14 says, “If you forgive those who
sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive
you.” But verse 15 continues, “If you refuse to
forgive others, your Father will not forgive your
sins.” Scripture clearly states that we must forgive
those who have done wrong against us.
Forgiving others for what they’ve done wrong
to you doesn’t let them off the hook. God still
knows what they’ve done, and they’ll have to
deal with Him on their own. What this kind of
forgiveness does is release you from the past. I
can’t explain it, but when you let them go, when
you forgive, you become free. It’s amazing.
Remember, Jesus never said life would be
easy, but He did say we would never have to
go it alone. He has not left us; He won’t forsake
us. That was a promise…and God keeps His
promises.
I want to encourage you to seek God in
all things. Begin by asking God to show you
who you need to forgive and who you need
forgiveness from. Take a step of faith and confess
your sins—to God and to man. At first it might be
difficult, but over time, you will feel the shackles
of bondage fall off, and freedom will follow.
Sincerely,
Clinton
A Victorious Living Family Member
12 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

THREE-DAY-OLD COFFEE by Michael Clark
I’m not a big coffee drinker. I’ll occasionally
have a cup during breakfast or with dessert after
dinner, but it’s not my drink of choice. When I do
drink coffee, I prefer it hot. My wife and daughters
are into iced coffee, but not me.
I’ll admit, I doctor my coffee. I joke that I like
a little coffee with my cream and sugar. While I
respect those who drink their coffee black, I refrain
from it except under extreme circumstances. I can
do sour (I love lemons!), but bitter is a no-go with
my taste buds.
One Monday, I came into my office and noticed
that I had left half a cup of coffee sitting on my
desk over the weekend. I reached for the cup to
dispose of it, and suddenly, I heard these words
in my heart: “Your prayer life is like three-day-old
coffee.”
It was totally unexpected. I wasn’t having
my daily devotion or morning prayer. I had just
finished checking my emails and was getting ready
to head to the break room…and the Spirit of God
was disciplining me? I sat there and looked at that
Styrofoam cup, realizing that it had been sitting
there for three days. And God was comparing my
prayer life to it.
I didn’t have a grand moment of revelation.
I thought, “Wow, Lord. Okay.” I took the cup to
the break room, poured it out, and threw it in the
trashcan. By the time I made it back to my office,
the day was moving at full swing. It was only later
in the afternoon that my mind came back to what
the Holy Spirit had said: “Your prayer life is like
three-day-old coffee.”
As I pondered that statement, it became
painfully obvious that there was little about
that three-day-old cup of coffee that could be
looked at in a positive light. It was certainly not a
ringing endorsement with which to launch a new
Starbuck’s product line.
Here’s the reality of what that cup of coffee was:
It was stale. It was room temperature. Its contents
were no longer blended.
And that’s how God saw my prayer life.
It wasn’t that my life was devoid of prayer—there
was coffee in that Styrofoam cup. It was just that
my prayer life shared the same properties as that
leftover sludge. It didn’t measure up to what God
knew it should be. He was pointing this out to me,
not because He was disgusted with it but because
He was disappointed in its quality. A master barista
takes pride in the piping hot drink he makes from
quality ingredients and wants it to be consumed
in its best form. God is no different. The blessings
He’s made available to us, He desires to see used
in their best form.
That’s what God was working to get across to
me that day. I’m sure that, if I had walked around
my office and offered that old coffee to my
coworkers, I'd have received a steady stream of
rejections.
This brings me back to my prayer life. How had
it become like that old cup of coffee?
It Had Become Stale
I was praying, but I wasn’t spending deliberate
time with God the way I knew I should. I had fallen
into a rut of praying if and when I found time for
it. Prayer had become a task to complete, not
a focal point of my day. I was approaching it as
an appointment with God instead of an intimate
time to spend together. Because of this, I had
been approaching my prayer life as talking to God
instead of talking with God.
It Was Room Temperature
My prayer life had lost the passion it should
have had. Honestly, I simply wasn’t invested in
getting prayer into my day.
Hot coffee—good. Iced coffee—good. Room
temperature, lukewarm coffee—not good. It’s not
palatable. In Revelation 3:15–16, Jesus spoke to
the church in Laodicea and addressed the people’s
attitude toward the things of God: “I know all the
things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I
wish that you were one or the other! But since you
are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will
spit you out of my mouth!”
Apathy is disgusting to God. You can be
passionate for or against something. In either
case, you are actively engaged. Apathy is not
engaged, and has no commitment. Faith requires
commitment. If you want your prayer life to be
effective, it must be more than room temperature.
Its Contents Were
No Longer Blended
Over the weekend the coffee, cream, and
sugar had separated and were no longer blended
together to complement each other. If you had
picked up that cup of three-day-old coffee and
taken a drink, you would have been greeted with
different and distinct layers of taste, depending on
how far down you
decided to drink.
As I looked at my
prayer life and allowed
myself to be honest
about its condition, I could
see where I was sometimes
working time in, and in doing so I was
rushed. In being rushed, I wasn’t allowing myself
to flow in prayer. I was covering the bases from the
mental list in my head. I wasn’t being still to hear
the Holy Spirit speak to my heart and lead me in
my prayers.
I don’t know everything; I don’t have everything
figured out. I need help, and it is available.
Romans 8:26 says, “The Holy Spirit helps us in
our weakness. For example, we don’t know what
God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays
for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in
words.” You and I can’t follow His leading properly
if we are flitting in and out of fellowship time with
Him.
When Paul wrote to Timothy in 1 Timothy 2:1
(NKJV), he described different facets of prayer.
“Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications,
prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be
made for all men.” Supplications, intercessions,
and giving of thanks. Cream and sugar.
We can also see layers in the model prayer Jesus
gave in Matthew 6:9–13: “Our Father in heaven,
may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom
come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it
is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and
forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who
sin against us. Don’t let us yield to temptation, but
rescue us from the evil one.”
Not giving ourselves proper time to spend
in prayer will cause us to rush and miss out on
all that prayer is meant to be. We shortchange
ourselves on the benefits that spending quality
time with God has for us.
We end up with three-day-old coffee for a
prayer life.
My prayer life needed to be freshened up, and
God loves me so much, He made sure I got that
message. As you’re reading this, have you taken a
moment to think about your prayer life? Be honest
with yourself. Could it use some improvement?
God wants so much more for you. Don’t settle
for a prayer life that is stale, lukewarm, and
unblended. V
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 13

FELLOWSHIP
RELATIONSHIP
IN
by Linda Cubbedge-Smith
I grew up without a dad. He left when my
siblings and I were very small, leaving our mother
to raise us alone. She worked very hard to take
care of us. Our grandparents, too, loved and
cared for us, making sure we had what kids need
to survive and thrive. As we grew up, we enjoyed
not only a relationship with our grandparents,
but wonderful fellowship, too. It’s kind of funny,
but I don’t think we kids even realized we didn’t
have a daddy in our home.
As an adult, I often think about the difference
between relationship and fellowship. Relationship
is when you are connected to someone by blood
or through marriage. I was connected to my
earthly father by blood, but I never met him.
I never spoke to him, nor him to me. But that
doesn’t change the fact that I am his daughter.
We will always be related.
Fellowship, on the other hand, is when you
get to know someone by spending quality time
with them. You share the same interests; you talk
to one another and find out what you each like
or dislike. You laugh together; you cry together.
The fellowship you have continues to grow and
becomes very precious.
Did you know that there are many who are
related to God through the blood of Jesus who
will go to heaven, but they haven’t experienced
the wonderful privilege of getting to know God
on a personal level, as their Father. They have
relationship, but they don’t have fellowship.
So how do we move from relationship
to fellowship with God? Fellowship is
companionship—keeping each other company.
We can spend time with God by reading His
Word. We can pray, which is simply talking with
God and sharing our hearts. We can hang out
with Him and allow His presence to invade our
hearts as we thank Him for giving us His Son,
Jesus, so we can truly enjoy our friendship with
Him.
God loves it when we allow His presence to
touch our hearts, when we give Him access to
those places inside that only He can heal and
restore. He loves for us to bring our questions
and concerns to Him.
When you spend time in the presence of God,
He will change you. You will stand out from the
world. His presence will give you unexplainable
peace and rest, regardless of what’s happening
around you. Worldly relationships are challenging.
Spouses, children, family, friends, coworkers—
these relationships can be tricky to sort out, but
His presence will carry you through even the
most difficult trial.
Thinking I had finished this article, I knelt by
my bed and read John 14. As I finished reading,
I asked my heavenly Father if there was anything
He wanted to say to me. He reminded me that
I had never spoken words of forgiveness to my
earthly father for abandoning our family. I began
to think about how our dad never once tried to
make contact with us. Tears flowed as I embraced
the reality of these painful thoughts.
Sometimes we simply have to trust God and
lean into the pain of our past, so we can allow
Him to cleanse us and fill us with His healing
presence. That’s exactly what happened to me
that night, as I said with my voice that I forgive
my dad for not loving us and not caring for us
as he should have. And I do forgive him. Even
though he is no longer living, I forgive him.
I had no idea as I was preparing this article
that my loving heavenly Father was preparing
me to forgive my earthly dad. You know, I’ll
never have more than relationship with my
dad, but forgiving him allowed the fellowship I
have with my heavenly Father to grow and be
strengthened.
You can have this fellowship in relationship
too. How? Be intentional about keeping company
with God the Father. Worship Him and tell Him
DON’T LET
YOUR HEARTS
BE TROUBLED.
TRUST IN GOD,
AND TRUST
ALSO IN ME.
JOHN 14:1
how wonderful He is. Thank Him for being the
perfect Father. Trust that He will never leave you
or abandon you. Confess your faults. Express
your hurts. Give Him every piece that is broken
and hurting, and He will make you whole. Spend
time getting to know Him, and your fellowship
will blossom.
The book of John is full of wonderful truths
about Jesus and the relationship and fellowship
that exist between Him and His Father and the
Holy Spirit. Read the whole book but focus on
chapter 14—read it over and over until you realize
that God the Father, God the Son, and God the
Holy Spirit long to be everything you will ever
need. Abide with Him. Allow His Word to feed
your soul and refresh your spirit. His abiding
presence is your reward for keeping company
with Him. V
14 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

JUST IN TIME by Tracy Morrisey
I grew up in a dysfunctional home with an
alcoholic father. Those around us saw a happy,
loving, successful family, but behind closed
doors, the unimaginable occurred.
I can still hear the yelling and the screaming.
I remember the fear I felt as a child, wondering
one night if my daddy was going to use the
gun he had pointed at me. I can still smell the
stench of alcohol that accompanied him every
time he walked through the front door. It was the
precursor to endless nights of torment.
There were good times, but they were always
cut short by the addiction. Life was like a roller
coaster, full of ups and downs and so many
different emotions. One day I loved my daddy,
and the next day I hated him.
In my early twenties, my parents divorced—
but just when I thought I was free from it all, I
somehow fell into the role my mother had held:
caretaker and enabler. I thought my childhood
was rough; the years to come would prove to be
even more difficult.
I tried to focus on my future, but the fallout
from Daddy’s addiction was a constant stressor.
His run-ins with the law, incarcerations, poor
health, drug use, and lack of money to pay his
bills were daily struggles we both faced. His
burdens became my burdens. His life infiltrated
mine, and I let it happen.
I wanted to fix him, but no matter what I did,
he didn’t change.
In all my efforts to fix him, I hit rock bottom.
I buried myself under bitterness, anger, and an
unforgiving heart. I was so hurt by the man I’d
once loved, and he didn’t seem to care.
It was in my rock-bottom state that I was finally
able to hear from my heavenly Father. I’d always
known He was there. I believed in Him, but being
the independent woman that I was, I didn’t know
how to ask for His help. I didn’t know what it
meant to walk with God and have Him be part
of my daily life decisions. So, I pressed on in my
own strength and wisdom.
God let me do it this way until the day I was
ready to let go of it all and let Him take control.
Unfortunately, by that time, much damage had
been done.
My heart wasn’t in a good place in regards to
my daddy, and I couldn’t do a thing about it. I
had so much unforgiveness toward him. I kept
waiting for an apology, but it never came. With
each passing day, the empty pit in my heart grew
deeper, and I grew more tired.
I had exhausted all of me, and I knew I needed
the Lord. I called out to God and gave Him my
life—and the life of my father—once and for all. I
couldn’t carry the load any longer.
At my moment of surrender, the Lord started
working in my life. No, my daddy’s behavior
didn’t change. He didn’t stop drinking or start
acting differently. But I changed. Compassion
and love for my daddy began to grow in my
heart, and I found peace, even in the midst of
the chaos and disappointment.
One by one, the burdens began to lift. I was
able to forgive the past. I even regained some of
the respect I had lost for Daddy, and I learned
how to pray for him again. Our relationship
wasn’t perfect, but God was obviously at work.
Years later, I was called to my daddy’s bedside.
He was dying. I knew his life didn’t reflect one of
a saved man. As I told him I loved him and began
to walk away, I felt the hands of the Lord on my
shoulders. I knew what I had to do. I turned and
lunged toward my father, pleading one last time
for him to give his life to Christ.
And this time, Daddy said yes! A few hours
later, he passed away.
Not long after, the Lord instructed me to write
a book about my childhood entitled, Just in Time.
There are many meanings of “just in time,” but
there is one that sums up the phrase for me
especially well.
After my daddy passed, the Lord whispered to
my heart: “Tracy, I was always there for you and
for your daddy. I am always just in time. But life
is about choices, and I could never make your
daddy choose me, just as you couldn’t. My hand
is always reaching out to My children. All they
have to do is choose to take hold.”
When my daddy finally said yes to God, he
chose to reach out and grab the hand that had
always been extended to him. And it was just in
time!
God showed me I’d had my own just-intime
moment too, when I made the choice to
turn around and plead with my daddy, one last
time, to accept Christ, even though everything
in me wanted to walk out that hospital room
door. Because I’d said yes to the Holy Spirit’s
prompting, my daddy was saved just in time,
and I got to watch my just-in-time God draw my
daddy to Himself!
God wants us all to experience these just-intime
moments. Don’t miss them! V
Tracy and her daddy at her wedding in 2003.
God's grace allowed for many moments like
these, including his salvation 10 years later.
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 15

STEPPING INTO
THE JORDAN by Christa Hicks with Diane Strack
Gymnastics practice was my safe place. The
praise of coaches as I flew through the air and
the confidence of landing on my feet are some
of the few childhood smiles that I remember. During
those brief years of quasi stability, Mom cleaned the
gym at night so that I could be on the team. It was
wonderful while it lasted, but the day she showed up
and began talking to the coach in the corner, I knew
my childhood pleasure had come to an end.
Disappointment burned into unspoken anger.
Silence filled the car as we drove home, the place
where chaos reigned. I blamed her for taking from
me the one thing I loved—gymnastics. I lost hope in
life pretty quickly after that.
Mom was away from the house a lot, and I was
left to raise myself. I started getting in trouble. At
13, I was still pretty naïve about life, so when a boy
from school invited me to an older boy’s house, I
went. That was the first time I was raped. Shame
took me prisoner. The hurt turned to anger and then
rebellion. Bouncing between my home and various
foster homes and even being homeless at times
became the norm, and the tension between me and
my mom mounted.
I was 15 when she kicked me out of the house
for good. I landed in the waiting arms of an older
boyfriend. I was lost and confused and wanted
desperately for someone to care for me. I thought
he was "all that," but the night we got to his house,
he became a different person. He stripped me of all
possessions, humiliated me, and isolated me from
every relationship.
He arranged parties for his friends with me as
the main attraction. Today, I know this is a form
of sex trafficking, as I was coerced into performing
sexual acts in front of strange men. I was also being
trafficked for labor, as I was forced to work during the
day but never saw a paycheck.
The shock of it all left me traumatized. I tried to
escape but quickly learned the abuse would only
intensify. His goal was to make me totally dependent
on him, which I pretended to be, but all along, I
remained desperate to escape.
I had one scrap of hope left—a memorized phone
number of a classmate who’d once offered to help
me. I begged another girl where I was to help me run
and find a pay phone. I now realize she was likely
being trafficked as well, but at the time, that was
beyond my comprehension. We found a phone and
I called my classmate, who came to get me. I never
saw that other girl again.
Survival depended on a severe detachment from
emotion, and I was determined that no one would
ever get close enough to hurt me again. I learned to
align myself with people whose reputation protected
me from exploitation. Ironically, this often meant
drug dealers.
At 16, I started using and selling drugs, the only
alternative I knew to selling myself. In my world, girls
like me didn’t have great chances of surviving any
other way. By 22, I was out of control. Selling drugs
had become a necessity as my addiction increased,
and I was unemployable. I was trafficked again during
those years, but I don’t remember much of that. My
SURVIVAL DEPENDED
ON A SEVERE
DETACHMENT FROM
EMOTION, AND
I WAS DETERMINED
THAT NO ONE
WOULD EVER GET
CLOSE ENOUGH TO
HURT ME AGAIN.
This page: Christa's safe place in life was gymnastics.
When it was taken away, she lost her way. God, however,
brought her to a place of restoration.
Opposite page: Today, Christa fights for those enslaved
in sex trafficking. She is pictured here on the steps of
the capitol building in Tallahassee, FL.
16 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

memories of it are hazy because I remained strung
out on drugs to cover the pain and shame. Life
became a kaleidoscope of random jobs, selling
drugs, working at bars—whatever it took to stay
high but out of sex trafficking.
At 27, I had a baby girl. From day one, she
has been God’s special gift to me, but drugs kept
calling. Looking back, I can’t believe the places I
took her. At one point, I found myself standing in a
crack house with her on my hip, thinking, “This is
crazy.” But I could not—or would not—stop.
At 29, isolated in a jail cell and coming off the
drugs, a phrase from my time in AA came to me:
“Thy will, not mine, be done.” My sponsor had
told me to say it over and over, but she’d never
told me who “Thy” was. I was an atheist. I don’t
remember hearing the gospel before this point,
but somehow, that night, the light went on. I
suddenly knew there was a God, and that’s whose
will I should be doing. I surrendered my will to
God, saying, “If you want this mess of a life, you
can have it.”
From that point until the morning, I continued
in a spiritual experience that cannot be explained.
Blaming others for my life had been my constant
crutch, but throughout the night, God gave me the
gracious gift of genuine repentance. The tears I’d
refused to shed all those years poured forth as I
owned up to my choices, my selfishness, and the
excuses. I willingly cast aside my hard-girl persona
as the Holy Spirit sweetly unveiled truth about
myself and about God.
The thought came to me—by the Spirit, I am
sure—to say yes only to God. I would know to
do this by choosing the exact opposite of what I
would have done in the past. So when the court
gave me the choice between a 28-day quick rehab
fix or a year-long program on a secluded farm, I
chose the latter.
This crazy, tattooed, tough girl found herself in
ankle-length dresses, secluded, and disconnected
from the world in rehab, but excited about the
future. Surrender of my heart to God was my
daily—no, hourly—thought. In this year of healing,
the Holy Spirit unlocked the door to my emotions,
and for the first time in my life, genuine rest and
peace were mine.
I wish I could tell you that everything was roses
after that, but I cannot. Chains like mine don’t break
easily, and trust can be elusive when you’re trying
to start fresh. Despite the struggles, however, I was
determined to allow God to continue the healing
He had begun in me.
I became part of an amazing church body that
loved me. I’m sure they had no idea the depths
of my financial and emotional needs when they
first welcomed me into their family, but that didn’t
stop them. The church’s assistance was the lifeline
that fed my daughter and helped to pay the rent.
I worked full time, but I was never able to earn a
livable wage. Poverty was a daily struggle.
I refused to give in to the depression that was
my constant shadow; instead, I forced myself to
dream about the future. It was a season of intense
struggle. I dug in my heels, looked Satan in the
eye, and defied the darkness of discouragement
and defeat. God let me know I was not alone and
that trials were a part of growth and healing. He
was faithful, always present, and granted me His
indescribable peace.
Because I was a felon, finding a rental home
seemed impossible. Still, I believed that God had a
plan, so I kept on asking. One day, a duplex owner
who had rejected my application called me and
said, “I just keep thinking I need to give you a
chance.” I jumped at that chance and spent many
nights in that place, staring at the clean white floor,
while waves of gratitude washed over me.
Managing as a single mom in poverty was
tough, but I was determined to finish college. A
great calling to help abused women began to
grow in me, and I decided to go for a degree in
counseling to prepare for this calling. It was hard,
but I am thankful for the struggles, because they
kept me sensitive to the economic situations of
others.
With every challenge, my body, mind, and
courage grew stronger. And breakthrough came.
For the first time in my life, I had a job with an
actual salary. Wow, that felt good. I also had a
healthy relationship with a man, as the Lord
brought me a wonderful husband, Brian, who
loves me and my daughter as his own. To this day,
he is a gift from the Lord to me.
Amid these blessings, however, that burden
for women in trauma and addiction continued
to grow within me. Witnessing the passion on
my heart, my husband surprised me by saying,
“Then go. Do it! Follow your dream and help these
women.”
This step of faith would require me to give up
the financial security of my job. Talk about scary!
But with all the Lord had done so far, I knew He
wasn’t about to leave me now. God brought the
name “Into the Jordan” into my mind. He took me
continued on page 19
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 17

Free
Indeed
by Richard Amabile
I cannot start on a happy note to tell you my
story. I will not tell of my achievements first, nor
do I boast of anything I am. Instead, God desires
that I begin nearly seven years ago, at the darkest
moment of my life. That’s when I first called out
to Him in total desperation, not knowing if He
would even answer me. And it’s when my life
was finally saved.
I remember that moment all too well. I was
curled up in a fetal position on a cold, stone
bench. My face was covered with tears. That
bench was so unforgiving. The light above me
pierced my eyes, while the sounds outside my
holding cell pounded away at my other senses. I
was so cold and disheveled, but more pitiful than
my outward appearance was my inner condition.
I was a mess.
The pain in my heart was so deep, much
deeper than anyone could see on the surface. It
was the pain of loneliness and fear.
That was, without a doubt, the worst year of
my life. I was eighteen years old, and I was facing
a possible sentence of twenty-five years to life
in prison. I was a sinner desperately in need of
a Savior. Many things were put into motion that
year, and while it was the worst—I would also say
it was the best year of my life, for it led me to the
place where I finally found freedom.
One night, through the depths of my despair,
God spoke to my heart in a dream. It was so
vivid. He showed me through this dream that
He had a great plan for me. At first it scared me,
but now I know that He was being kind, showing
me His goodness in a way that only He could.
Through this dream, He gave me hope for my
future and reminded me that my life had value
and could still be used for great things, despite
my mistakes.
In my dream, the Lord came against every
lie that I’d ever heard and believed. Things like
“You’re such a liar, a thief. You’re a monster. No
one wants you!” He replaced these lies with His
truth, “You are chosen, forgiven, loved, and you
are My child. Your life does have purpose.”
How could I experience this great purpose?
God showed me it was through worship. I was
created to worship God, and if I did not worship
Him, I would undoubtedly worship other things.
He showed me that if I worshiped other things,
I would become like them, empty and without
purpose.
This so summed up my life. Empty. Without
purpose.
Perhaps you can relate?
Next, God showed me who I truly was—a lost
man, totally covered in sin. There seemed to be
no way out of my condition. I had made so many
mistakes. But then I saw God for who He truly is—
pure, beautiful, holy, full of love, grace, and mercy.
And I realized He loved me despite my past.
I wanted to be like Him. I wanted to know Him.
Then in my dream, I heard these words of
Jesus from John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth,
and the life. No one can come to the Father
except through me.” To come to God, to be
made pure like Him, I had to know His Son,
Jesus. I accepted His teaching and on that day, I
was made right with God. “For God made Christ,
who never sinned, to be the offering for [my] sin,
so that [I] could be made right with God through
Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:21).
I was also made new. For “anyone who
belongs to Christ has become a new person.
The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2
Corinthians 5:17). Since that day, I have been
becoming more like God through my worship
of Him.
After this dream, God strategically placed men
in my life behind prison walls to help me walk
out His plan and teach me His ways. They helped
me understand who God really is and who I am
in Him. I am so thankful for my brothers in Christ.
Today, I continue to live behind prison walls,
serving God alongside these faithful men.
Ironically, I have never been this free before in
my life. The prison walls around me have no
bearing on my freedom, for the Son has set me
free, and I am free, indeed (John 8:36).
How about you? Have you found this
freedom? V
18 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

STEPPING INTO THE JORDAN | from page 17_____________
to the passage in Joshua 3 where the Israelites were standing on
the banks of the Jordan River. He showed me that it was their
first step into the Jordan that opened the waters so the Israelites
could pass through. God was asking me to take a first step with
Him and start a ministry called Into the Jordan. This ministry
would help women find courage and faith to take their own first
steps of faith into freedom.
God has blessed me with a mentor who has been my prayer
partner for more than ten years. With her help, we got the
ministry off the ground. There were days I didn’t think I could
do it—reliving trauma with the women, raising money to pay
the bills, picking up moms who had nowhere to go in the wee
hours, and taking care of their babies. The stress was crazy, but
my soul was satisfied.
The ministry was growing, and life was great. So much so, in
fact, that my husband and I purchased our first home. When a
person has endured homelessness, purchasing that first home
is an overwhelmingly joyful experience. It settles a place in your
heart that has longed for calm.
We were just about all settled in when the Lord asked me to
take another step of faith, to say yes to Him in an unexpected
way. This surrender to God’s will wasn’t as easy as the others,
because He was asking me to sell the house, give up Into the
Jordan, and move to Lakeland, Florida, to become the executive
director of One More Child—Anti-Trafficking.
“No” came out of my mouth pretty quickly, followed by “Give
up my first house? The ministry I started and the women I love?
Ask my family to move?!”
It was a lot to take in, but all my excuses fell away as I realized
that these gifts from God’s hand had only been loaned to me.
Surely God had an amazing adventure ahead if only I would
trust Him. My family was incredibly supportive. And God was
faithful.
He took me by the hand—me, that forgotten little girl who
had been told she would never function like everyone else,
who had been hungry many days, who had been trapped
in darkness—and made her an employee of One More Child
Foundation, a ministry that served 200,000 children last year
and over 5 million meals worldwide. God gave me resources
and a devoted staff to enable me to reach children, teens, and
young adults enslaved in sex trafficking. My yes to the unknown
is rewarded every day as we continue to reach that one more
child for His name’s sake.
What is God asking you to say yes to today? What step of
faith is He asking you to take? Whatever it is, know that God will
meet you there. Saying yes may not mean taking the easy road,
but it will always lead to the right road.
Maybe you’ve been abused, trafficked, and told you wouldn’t
amount to anything. Maybe you, too, are a forgotten one. I want
you to know that there is hope, freedom, and peace waiting
for you. Take that first step into your Jordan, those uncharted
waters, with God, and watch what He will do on your behalf. V
FIVE STEPS TO
RESTORATION
OF THE SOUL
by Christa Hicks
FINDING FREEDOM FROM MY
PAST WASN’T A QUICK OR EASY
PROCESS. IT TOOK YEARS
OF DETERMINATION AND
PERSEVERANCE. HERE ARE
FIVE KEYS THAT HELPED ME
DISCOVER WHOLENESS.
SURRENDER
HEBREWS 13:21 | PHILIPPIANS 1:6
Say yes to God unconditionally. You can trust that, whatever He asks you to do,
He will equip you to do it, provide all you need, and bring it to fruition.
Anything you give up for Christ will be given back to you a hundredfold.
There is always something greater on the other side of yes.
GET HEALTH
ROMANS 12:2 | 1 CORINTHIANS 6:19–20
Change your focus from outside appearance to total body health. If you are a believer,
your body is the temple of God. Treat it as such. Quit focusing on the outward person
and allow God to transform your mind, body, and spirit.
BUILD HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1 CORINTHIANS 15:33 | PROVERBS 14:7
Break destructive attachments by setting boundaries and building new,
healthy relationships. Bad company corrupts good character.
FIND FINANCIAL PEACE
ROMANS 13:8 | PROVERBS 22:7
Be prepared to live a minimalist lifestyle while you are starting over.
Financial peace is worth any sacrifice you may have to make.
DREAM
EPHESIANS 3:20 | PSALM 37:4
Dream big God-dreams and then embrace and believe that you are valued by God and
worthy of your dreams. He is a mighty God who is not limited by your imagination. V
“ALL GLORY TO GOD, WHO IS ABLE, THROUGH
HIS MIGHTY POWER AT WORK WITHIN US, TO
ACCOMPLISH INFINITELY MORE THAN WE MIGHT ASK
OR THINK.” EPHESIANS 3:20
Photo courtesy of One More Child kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 19

Nothing
is Impossible
by Jon Ponder
There are moments when all you can do is
stand in speechless amazement as you look at
the work of the Lord in your life. Standing in the
Rose Garden next to my friend, Richard Beasley,
and being honored by the president of the
United States was one of those moments. It was a
moment only God could orchestrate.
The first time I met Richard Beasley was in
2004. On that day, I was handcuffed to a cold,
stainless-steel table in a Las Vegas holding cell,
being charged with a string of armed robberies.
I was wild with anger as I glared at the FBI agent
assigned to my case. The charges against me were
long, and I could see my life flashing before my
eyes. He met my anger, however, with a peace
that knocked me off my guard. Even with all the
internal chaos of my heart, something about this
man’s demeanor assured me that everything
would be okay. I didn’t know what it was then, but
now I do—it was the presence of God that this man
carried.
Fast forward 14 years to this scene in the Rose
Garden, almost nine years to the day that I had
emerged from behind 50-foot federal prison
walls. On this day, I was a free and transformed
man, standing side-by-side with Mr. Beasley, my
friend and mentor. We had both been invited to
attend a National Day of Prayer ceremony, so
that President Trump could recognize the power
of God to transform lives as he highlighted the
importance of faith-based programs in the prison
system. God had used this godly FBI agent, as
well as a God-fearing federal judge and sheriff, to
rescue my life from the dominion of darkness that
had held me hostage for so many years. The story
I’m about to tell you is a living testimony to the
amazing transforming power of God’s love.
My journey to incarceration began at a young
age. I am a product of a fatherless home. My
mother did her best to protect my five siblings
and me from the traps of the streets of New York,
but without a father in our home, my brothers
and I were naturally drawn there in an attempt to
validate our manhood. The criminal activity that
followed led to a long, hard road of incarceration
for us all. I was the second to the youngest and
caught my first felony conviction at the age of 16
for robbery.
In her attempts to shield us, my mother sent
us to our grandmother’s home in Mississippi each
summer. Her name was Madea, and she loved
Jesus. I loved going to Madea’s house. We would
chase chickens, eat watermelons, and run around
her property. She took us to her little Baptist
church where she played the piano. My siblings
and I would gather around that dusty old piano
and sing hymn after hymn. The songs had little
meaning for me at the time. What I loved most
was the quarters people would toss on the piano,
indicating their approval of our singing.
But at the end of each summer, we’d get on the
bus and head back to the streets of New York—
back to gang life, crime, and drugs. The memories
of our carefree, peace-filled summer days would
quickly fade away.
By the time I was in my early twenties, the rest
of my family had left New York and moved to Las
Vegas. Lonely, I decided to join them. Let me tell
you, I went from the frying pan into the fire! All
the things Sin City is famous for became integral
parts of my life, and I fell deeper and deeper into
a life of crime.
There was something just ridiculously exciting
about that lifestyle for me. Gambling, drugs,
alcohol, robbery…I was in and out of county jail
more times than I can remember. I spent time in
state prisons before I met Richard Beasley and was
locked up on a federal charge.
I remember the day the Feds arrested me. It
was quite the scene. I was as high as a kite and
driving in a complete stupor when a helicopter
with a spotlight hovered over my car. Police cars
swarmed around me. Police dogs barked loudly.
Everyone was ready to pounce. There was no way
out…and I wasn’t going down without a fight.
I reached under my dashboard to grab the
two 9-millimeter pistols I kept tucked away
for moments like these, but they were gone.
Suddenly I heard a voice that seemed to come
from the backseat of my car. “Relax, Jon, I've got
20 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

this.” I remember a strange, momentary rush of
unfamiliar peace.
An officer on a bullhorn began to bark
instructions. “Driver, get out of the car.” I opened
the door and got out of the car. “Put your hands
in the air.” I put my hands high in the air. “Driver,
get down. Get down. Get down.” I dropped to my
knees, then lay face down on the ground. Law
enforcement officers surrounded me, cuffed me,
and took me into custody.
I fought everyone in my path, including the
police and other inmates. I refused to talk to
anyone. Because of my violent behavior, they
locked me away in solitary confinement while I
waited for my sentence hearing. I was so angry, I
went on a hunger strike.
All alone in my cell, tears streamed down my
face as I realized the impact of this moment—I had
become my father. My son was the same age I had
been when my father disappeared from my life,
and now I would be completely absent from his.
It tore me up. How could I have been so stupid?
Then I thought of my mother, who had always
been there for me. She wasn’t young anymore.
Would she pass away while I was behind bars?
Scenario after scenario played through my mind,
and each caused my anger to escalate. Not to
mention I was detoxing from heroin. I was a mess.
A couple of weeks into my hunger strike, a
chaplain came by my solitary confinement unit.
He opened my food flap and said, “Hey, brother.
I just want to tell you that Jesus loves you, and
He wants to be the Lord and Savior of your life.” I
broke my no-talking rule long enough to scream
obscenities at him and tell him to leave me alone.
He left, but not before he dropped a Bible through
my flap. It landed on the floor. That Bible was
still sitting there a week later when the chaplain
returned. Once again, he opened that flap and
told me that Jesus loved me and wanted to be my
Lord and Savior. I yelled more obscenities at him;
this time he dropped a daily devotional through
my flap.
That Bible and devotional stayed on the
floor for three weeks until one day, out of pure
boredom, I picked up the devotional. I turned to
the date I thought it was and began to read. It
listed a scripture reference. I reached over for the
Bible that still lay on the floor, and I looked up the
scripture. As I read, I had flashbacks of my time in
Mississippi with Madea.
I saw myself standing by that dusty old piano,
and hymns suddenly flooded my mind. At
the Cross. Amazing Grace.
He Touched Me. Then came
stories. Blind Bartimaeus. The
woman at the well. The thief on
the cross. It all started coming
to life within me. It had been 40
years since Madea had sown those
godly seeds, but finally they were
bringing forth a harvest. Suddenly,
I wasn’t angry anymore, and I began to speak to
the guards and eat. I was different. They thought I
had lost my mind.
In the weeks that followed, I couldn’t put
the Word of God down. One night, there was a
commotion that woke me. An inmate was being
transferred to another facility. I heard him ask the
guard if he could give me his small radio. A few
moments later, my flap opened, and the guard
dropped a small transistor radio into my cell. It was
old and pitiful, but it was a gift from above. I found
one station on that mangled radio, 90.5 KSOS. I
recognized the voice of the DJ as the man who
used to do the news on channel 3 in Las Vegas.
He started to preach, and he told me about a God
who loved me and wanted to forgive all my sin.
Something cracked on the inside of me.
I listened to that little radio day and night. I’d
sit there with one earbud in my ear, listening to
Christian music. One night I fell asleep and woke
up to the voice of Billy Graham. It was the message
of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32). At the end of
the story, Billy Graham said, “God is knocking at
the door of your heart. He wants you to invite Him
in. Will you do that?” Something leaped within my
spirit. I stood up in that cell, raised my hands to the
heavens, and invited Jesus Christ to be Lord of my
life. And my life has never been the same since.
You know, inmates are put in solitary
confinement in order to isolate them from
everyone else; but I wasn’t alone. God was right
there in that cell with me. There were times when
His presence was so real, it was like we were
sitting face to face in the room, talking together.
His presence enabled me to face the uncertainty
of my future.
A month later, US marshals took me to the
federal courthouse for sentencing. I was facing 23
years in prison, and I was scared to death. I closed
my eyes and prayed, “God, I’m asking You to go
before me in this courtroom, to climb into the
robe of that judge and move him out of the way.
Lord, whatever time I have coming to me—10, 20,
50 years, whatever—let it come from You. You be
From federal prison to the White House, Jon Ponder
is living proof that with God, nothing is impossible.
my judge. And Lord, whatever time I get, I‘m going
to spend the rest of my life serving You.”
I finished praying as the door to my holding
cell opened. Feet shackled, I shuffled down
the hall and into the courtroom. There, in front
of that judge, peace overcame me. It was like I
was standing in the presence of God. Prior to
sentencing, the judge asked me if I had anything
to say. I opened my mouth, and the Spirit of God
poured His words out of me.
The judge sat in silence, took off his glasses,
and paused. “Mr. Ponder, I don’t know why I am
doing this, but I am not going to give you what
you deserve.” Instead of 23 years, he gave me just
over six. What a beautiful picture of our heavenly
Father, who doesn’t give us what we deserve
either. Years later, Judge Mahan told me that he
had paused because he was asking the Lord what
sentence he should give me. This man was a direct
answer to my prayer.
My heavenly Father showed up that day. Back
in the cell, I fell face down on the floor and wept.
God bent down and whispered, “Son, I honored
what you asked Me to do. Never forget the
promise you made Me.” And in that moment, I
renewed my determination to serve God every
day of my life.
Matthew 4 tells the story of Jesus being led into
the wilderness by the Spirit of God to be tempted
by the devil. Jesus had just been baptized and
was committed to the call God had placed on
His life. After my commitment to Christ, I was led
into a similar wilderness experience at Allenwood
Federal Penitentiary in Pennsylvania.
Behind those 50-foot concrete walls, I met
evil every day, and I was tempted in every way.
Because of the role I had played in the free world,
it was natural I would assume a leadership position
in a certain gang. I was called to the round table
to meet with gang leaders. I knew the rules of the
THERE ARE NO LIMITS TO WHAT GOD CAN DO WITH A LIFE TOTALLY SURRENDERED TO HIM, ONLY OPPORTUNITIES.
Photo courtesy of Hope For Prisoners kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 21

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE | from page 21_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
game; if I turned down this position, I’d be killed. I
avoided the round table for three weeks.
“God,” I pleaded. “I need Your help. I’m trying
to honor You by not going back to that life. Please,
protect me.”
I got called back to the table, and there was
no avoiding it this time. With boldness that could
only have come from God, I went. I sat down at
the table, looked those men in the eyes, and told
them I would not be a part of their gang. I also told
them not to call me back to the table unless they
wanted to talk with me about the Bible. I shared
my commitment to God and told them I was done
with gang life. Then I told them that if they were
going to take me out, to go ahead and do it.
Nobody moved. Everyone was waiting for the
cue—a slight wave of the hand, a nod, something
to signal my demise. Yet the cue never came. I
stood up, turned around, and walked away from
the table. My eyes caught sight of the sun rising
over the mountains of Pennsylvania. Psalm
121:1–2 immediately came to mind, “I will lift up
mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my
help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made
heaven and earth” (KJV).
For days, I could sense the threat of death in the
air. If you’ve been in prison, you know that death
comes without warning. It lurks around every
corner, and you don’t know who will be its pawn.
But death never came. Instead, over time the men
started coming to me, asking for prayer. I’d stand
on the prison yard, holding hands with the guys
who should have taken me out, praying for the
Lord to intervene on their behalf. It was amazing.
Even the underboss of a well-known crime family
began to call upon me for prayer. God did many
miracles in these men’s lives.
After three and a half years, I was transferred
to a minimal security federal prison in Oregon.
This was a far cry from the penitentiary where I’d
seen people massacred right before my eyes. God
had used that wilderness experience to teach me
to trust Him. He was truly all I had, and I learned
through my time there that He was all I needed.
He’s all I’ll ever need.
The day before I was released, some Christian
brothers had a party for me, complete with a meal.
They asked me, “Jon, what’s the first thing you’re
going to do when you get home?” I hadn’t thought
about that. I’d been so wrapped up in what God
was doing in each moment in my life there in
prison that I hadn’t really thought about what I’d
do when I got out. I was so content there, teaching
and mentoring men in the Word of God. I didn’t
need prison gates to open for me to be free; God
had set me free years before.
That night I knelt by my bunk and asked,
“God, what would You have me to do?” And
God proceeded to show me my mission. “Jon,
you’re not going home, you’re being sent home.
There’s a big difference. You are being sent back
to a community where people are enslaved to
what used to enslave you. I’ve chosen you to go
to them and untie them and bring them to Me.”
He showed me if I obeyed, I would bring life
transformation not just to a person, but to their
families for generations to come.
The Lord then reminded me of that night when
I was first arrested by the Feds. He said, “Jon, when
you heard a voice saying to get out of the driver’s
seat, you thought it was the police, but it wasn’t. It
was Me. You also heard a voice telling you to put
your hands in the air; that was Me. And you heard,
‘Get down. Get down. Get down.’ Me again. I was
showing you how to live the rest of your life: hands
off the controls, totally surrendered, prostrate
before Me. Now, go home and fulfill your mission.
The city of Las Vegas is no longer your playground.
It is your mission field.”
I went from prison to a halfway house here
in Las Vegas. The first thing I did was to get a
job. I had restitution to make for the crimes I’d
committed. I worked each day with integrity, and
on my fifteen-minute breaks, I planned for the
ministry God had called me to. It would be called
HOPE for Prisoners.
Not long after I was released, Richard Beasley
sought me out and came to visit. As we sat down
to breakfast, he told me that he had been praying
for me the whole time I’d been incarcerated. We
connected through our mutual faith and love for
Christ and, for perhaps the first time, I was able
to view someone in law enforcement from a
new perspective. He was now my friend, and the
relationship we developed that day has continued
since. He has offered me wisdom and guidance
as I have worked to build HOPE for Prisoners
and serves as a valued member of our Advisory
Council. I value and admire this man, and thank
God for the part he has played in my life and my
ministry.
Since 2009, HOPE for Prisoners has facilitated
reentry and reintegration services to over 2,000
men, women, and young adults who are exiting
various segments of the judicial system. Our
ministry comes alongside former offenders
and their families in an effort to transform lives
and systematically educate society in ways to
engage and support them. What makes our
ministry so successful is that we involve local
churches, legislators, judges, police officers,
22 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

and businessmen who want to help people
overcome the many barriers to successful living
that incarceration can create. They are our clients’
mentors, just like Richard Beasley was mine.
Because of the transformation in my life and the
success of the ministry God has entrusted to me,
White House staff members are studying HOPE for
Prisoners as a model for future rehabilitation and
transitional programs across the nation. As I stood
in the Rose Garden, I was embarking on the next
leg of my journey—one that includes being a part
of prison reform in America. Only God could do
such a thing.
If there is one thing I hope you take away from
my story, it is this: there are no limits to what God
can do with a life totally surrendered to Him, only
opportunities. I am so privileged to be living proof
of Colossians 1:13: “He has rescued us from the
dominion of darkness and brought us into the
kingdom of the Son he loves” (NIV).
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what
roads you’ve traveled or what road you’re currently
on, but I do know this: God is ready to use your life
to bring hope and change to this world. Whether
you are a grandparent like Madea, a federal
agent like Richard Beasley, a judge, an officer, a
schoolteacher, a parent, a businessman, or even a
convicted felon like myself, God is ready and able
to use you in ways you would never imagine. All it
takes is your saying yes to God.
Today, I want to tell you what Billy Graham told
me years ago. God stands at the door of your heart,
and He’s knocking. He’s ready to take you on an
adventure of a lifetime. Will you open the door?
Who knows, God might even lead you from the
heart of a prison to the White House. Nothing is
impossible with Him. V
Answer Your Call
by Jon Ponder
Has God ever placed a mission on your heart? When I was released from prison, I felt deeply
impressed that God wanted me to work in the city of Las Vegas and free His people. The desire
burned in my heart. But when you feel that deep calling, how do you step into it? Here’s what
helped me:
Stay true to your convictions.
You may need to make costly sacrifices to follow your call. Family members and friends alike
rejected me because of my new life choices. They didn’t understand my commitment to God.
Some even accused me of being “holier than thou.” That’s okay—your first priority must be to
please God, not people.
Find community with other believers.
The best place to do this is within the church. Find a Bible-believing church that is driven by
God’s love. If a church body won’t accept you because of your past, find another church. Don’t
give up!
Be intentional in relationships.
I’ve added people to my life who won’t allow me to do what I used to do and who hold me
accountable for my choices now. Surround yourself with people who have the results in their
lives that you want in yours. Your associations determine your destination.
Spend time with God.
Jesus Christ never did anything without pulling away and conversing with His Father. In the
same way, to fulfill God’s call, you must hear from the Father. He knows the way to go, you can’t
leave Him out of the process.
Focus on your future.
People drag their past behind them like a ball and chain. You can’t see your future if you are
always focused on your past. Fix your eyes on Christ, not on all the things you wish had never
happened in your life. Forget the past and press on to your higher calling in Christ (Philippians
3:13–14).
Be faithful.
Be faithful where you are on the way to where you are going. God honors faithfulness, and
He will cause even your enemies to favor you (Luke 16:10; Proverbs 16:7).
Take that one step.
I am all for 12-step programs, but no program will work unless a person takes that one first
step to Jesus. I took that one step and never looked back. If you do the same and from that point
press on in Him, you will see the mission God has prepared for you, and with His help, you will
fulfill it. And what an adventure that will be! V
God is ready to use
Left: When Jon answered His call, God took his life
and used it to bring hope and change to many.
Pictured here imparting wisdom to graduates of
HOPE for Prisoners. Right: Jon and his brothers were
greatly influenced by the godly seeds planted by their
grandmother, Madea.
your life to bring
hope and change
to this world.
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 23

NO MORE
Running on Empty
by Nancy Johnson
When the publisher of this magazine first
asked me to share my story, I wanted to curl up
in a cocoon and stay there forever. All I could
think was, “Who in the world would want to read
my story? What could I possibly share that would
have any worth?”
But then the Holy Spirit reminded me, “It’s not
about you, Nancy. It’s about Me and what I am
doing in and through you.” With this reminder, I
knew I had no choice but to share how God has
been restoring my broken life.
Counselors tell me that sexual molestation
most likely started when I was around three
years old. My father was my abuser, and he
allowed others to abuse me as well. Sexual acts
were tools my father used to control and reward
me. For example, if I needed school clothes, a
new dress, or shoes, they could only be obtained
through sexual activities with my father or those
he brought my way. Everything had a price.
It wasn’t until middle school, when I shared
with a girlfriend some of the things I did with my
dad, that I realized my life wasn’t normal. Her
response made that quite clear. “How can you
let your dad do that to you?! You’re disgusting!”
I was shocked and confused. This was all I had
ever known. It was my norm. It wasn’t a matter
of me “letting my dad do” these perverted things
to me; he was my dad, and I was obeying. Isn’t
a daughter supposed to do what her father tells
her to do? Suddenly I felt dirty and ashamed.
The weight of it all caught up to me when I
was a senior in high school. At that point, I tried
to kill myself with pills and alcohol. People began
to ask, “What’s so traumatic in your life that you
would try to kill yourself?” I finally shared with
adults what my father had been doing to me
all those years. The response of the authorities
was simply to remove my father from our home.
There was never any mention of prosecuting
him.
Removing him from our house did absolutely
nothing to stop the abuse. It just began
happening in other locations around town. I felt
so hopeless. Would things ever change?
My sense of worth was impacted to the core.
The unhealthy view of myself that my father had
created resulted in unhealthy relationships for
me for years to come. Since I was a toddler, I’d
been trained to be submissive and to perform
sexually for men, so when any man came into my
life, even if they just spoke to me, I immediately
got sexual. I thought that’s what was supposed
to happen. And when it did happen, I convinced
myself that person must love me because they
were sexually active with me. It was an easy
formula: sex equaled affection, attention, and the
accumulation of basic needs.
Despite the abuse, my life wasn’t completely
horrible. I had three amazing siblings, all of
whom were musically talented. My mother
taught us all to sing harmony, and she and my
dad often booked us in vocal contests. We were
The Country Wonders, a cute bunch who could
actually sing. We caught the eye of a manager
who booked us up and down the East Coast. We
opened for singers such as Ernest Tubb and Lee
Greenwood. We also sang in a club in Las Vegas.
I got married at age 21. It wasn’t long, however,
before the relationship became physically
abusive. Because of my childhood, the abuse
felt warranted. When my husband hit me, I told
myself I deserved it for all the trashy things I had
done with my dad. I know now that was a lie
from the pit of hell.
The demise of our relationship occurred when
my husband nearly hit me while I was holding
our daughter. He’d always promised he’d never
hit me in her presence. That incident woke me
up, and I left.
Our divorce was final four years later. During
that time, I continued to sing and started my own
band, The Stone River Band. We performed in
clubs and hotels around Orlando. A close friend,
Bobby Johnson, was my drummer, and I began
to confide with him about my experiences with
my father. Rather than judge or criticize me, he
consoled me. He even told me it wasn’t my fault.
We began to date and got married.
It quickly became apparent that I was not
healthy when, within the first three months of our
marriage, I committed a sexual act with another
man. Bobby and I both realized the depth of
24 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

I WASN’T SPENDING TIME WITH GOD; I WAS
WORKING FOR HIM. THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE.
Nancy and her siblings, The Country Wonders,
performed for Ernest Tubb and Lee Greenwood.
my issues at that point. I needed professional
help. God arranged for me to be counseled by
an amazing therapist who put me on a road to
healing. I never cheated on my husband again.
Bobby graciously forgave my infidelity, and we
moved forward the best we knew how.
Bobby had a coworker, Jessie Hull, who
persistently invited us to church. I wanted no
part of it. At that time, I was drinking heavily and
smoking cigarettes and weed. I didn’t want to
walk through church doors living the way I was.
I figured, one day, when I cleaned up my act, I’d
go—and not a moment before.
But God had other plans.
Because of Jessie’s relentless pursuit, Bobby
and I decided we’d go to church “for the kids’
sake.” If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t go back. That
choice forever changed my life.
When I walked in those church doors for
the first time, I felt something like what I’d
always imagined home should be. We attended
this church for over a year, and one day, I felt
something drawing me to the altar. I went
forward, knelt down, and prayed a prayer of
salvation with the pastor’s wife, Jill. I asked Jesus
to come into my life, forgive me of my sin, and
cleanse me. It was like a massive weight lifted off
my shoulders.
At the same time, my family had also been
drawn to the Lord. When I opened my eyes,
there they were, my daughter and my husband,
both kneeling at that altar. Our whole family was
saved that day. The Holy Spirit drew each one of
us to Himself, and we all responded.
Everything around me started to change.
My friend was quick to point out that it wasn’t
the people and circumstances around me that
were changing, I was. And she was right. My
relationship with God began to impact every area
of my life, and it began to heal my brokenness at
a deeper level. No longer did I need alcohol and
drugs to mask the pain in my heart.
God was working so powerfully in my life
that I threw myself wholeheartedly into serving
Him. No matter what I was asked to do, I quickly
agreed. I volunteered for everything—and in my
activity, I neglected my relationship with God. I
wasn’t spending time with God; I was working for
Him. There is a big difference.
I wasn’t performing for God to earn salvation.
I knew the Bible teaches that it’s God’s grace that
saves us, not our works. No, I was working so
hard for Him because He’d done so much for
me. How could I refuse?
Unfortunately, in the flurry of church activities,
I became complacent in my marriage and
neglected Bobby. After 25 years of marriage, we
separated. He’d begun to have his needs met
elsewhere. I was crushed.
I leaned heavily on my church family. They
graciously responded and helped me find a
place to live and even furnished it. For months, I
sat on the front porch of that little rented house
in a donated rocking chair and cried my heart
out to God. My pastor’s wife constantly reminded
me, “Nancy, no matter how bad it gets, keep
praising God.”
I would rock in that chair and praise Him
despite how I felt. It took Bobby four years to
file for a divorce, but in that time, he had already
gone on with his life.
Rock and praise. Rock and praise. It was all I
could do.
After a while, I found the strength to rise up
out of the chair. I missed serving the Lord and
returned to using my gifts and talents for Him.
This time, I was careful not to get too busy; I
wanted to make sure I didn’t use good activities
like I had used drugs and alcohol to mask the
hurt in my heart. I had learned the hard way that
continued on page 26
One of Nancy's favorite places to sing and share her life story is in prison. Pictured here performing behind prison walls and encouraging the discouraged.
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 25

NO MORE RUNNING ON EMPTY | from page 25_______________________________________________
both substances and busyness can prevent a
person from truly dealing with their issues.
After the divorce was final, I began to sense
the Lord leading me from my home church.
Let me tell you, I dug my heels in hard. How
could God be asking me to leave these people
who had been so generous to me? I loved my
church family. They’d been with me through
every part of my Christian journey; they’d held
me up during my painful separation. And if I
left, who would do the music? I just couldn’t
do it.
And then, during a service at my beloved
church, a light bulb came on in my mind. The
Lord showed me that I had to leave because I
had become more reliant on my church family
than I was on Him. I was still walking in a victim
mentality, and I was using the church to meet
my needs. I needed to discover that God is the
only One who can heal my brokenness.
The Lord whispered to my heart, “Stop being
busy. Let Me love you. Let Me fill your cup back
up.” I had been running on empty so long.
I obeyed and made myself completely
vulnerable to my heavenly Father. He led me to
a wonderful program called Celebrate Recovery
at another church. Through this Christ-centered
12-step program, God began to pull back layers
of pain and trauma, and He began to heal me.
He used this program to help me realize how
precious I am to Him. I am the apple of His eye.
Fully believing this though has been a
process. While I know God’s Word tells me
how important I am to Him, all it can take is a
careless comment from someone else to lead
me back to my old feelings of worthlessness.
I’m still a work in progress. Amazingly, as I
continue to heal, God is using my story to bring
hope to many, especially to incarcerated men
and women.
I love sharing my gift of music and my life
story behind prison walls. It never fails—every
time I share, someone will come up to me and
say, “I lived through that, too. That was my
story.” I’m finding my story is relevant to so
many, regardless of their age, gender, or race.
My story reminds people that no matter how
painful their past, God can still use them. We
all have incredible value to God, regardless of
what we’ve done or what’s been done to us.
This is important, because realizing your value
changes everything. It changes how you look
at God, yourself, and others. If you don’t know
who you are and how much you are loved by
your heavenly Father, then you’ll never move
out of your pain and into all that God has
planned for your life.
Early in my healing process, I asked the Lord
why I’d had to experience all that I’d gone
through. Why couldn’t I have been the girl with
a loving father who protected her instead of
exploited her? I now believe God allowed it so
that I could help bring healing to others. Satan
tried to use trauma at the hands of my father to
destroy me, to strip me of my self-worth, and
to set my feet on a path of evil. But God, in His
great mercy, has taken my greatest pain and is
using it for good. Nothing in my life has been
wasted.
Nothing in your life has to be wasted, either.
If you’ve experienced trauma that shook you
to the core, let my story be a reminder that,
with God, you can find freedom from your pain
and live a life of hope and impact. Make
yourself vulnerable to God and let Him
unravel the pain in your heart. You may need
to see a godly counselor to help you move
forward, or you might want to join a 12-step
program.
If you haven’t experienced abuse, consider
yourself blessed. But I think most of us have
been rejected or disappointed by someone
or something in our lives. Maybe your spouse
left or a loved one has died. Maybe a friend
betrayed you. Maybe you’ve lost a job, or
you’ve never had the approval of your parent.
Trying to cover any pain with substances,
food, relationships, or busyness will lead to a
never-ending cycle of disappointment. Only
God can bring true healing. Only He can fill
you up. You don’t have to run on empty any
longer. V
May the God of hope
fill you with all joy
and peace as you trust
in him, so that you
may overflow with
hope by the power of
the Holy Spirit
Romans 15:13 NIV
The Lord whispered to my heart,
“STOP BEING BUSY. LET ME LOVE YOU.
LET ME FILL YOUR CUP BACK UP.”
26 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography

NO LONGER REJECTED | from page 9__________________________________________________________
He wasn’t happy.
As my child grew within me, I realized that if
I stayed in this relationship, my daughter would
be in the same abusive environment I had
experienced. I couldn’t do that to her. Even though
I couldn’t see value in my own life, I knew that my
daughter’s life was precious. So, for her sake, I left.
I moved to Las Vegas and started my new life
as a single parent. Once there, I realized it was
time to regain my relationship with the Lord, a
relationship I had forsaken for many years. I found
a church for us to attend and began devouring
the Word of God. I wanted to know what God
required of me as a parent. I knew I needed His
help! And that’s where my dependence on God
started. If only I had been dependent on the Lord
in my teen years, I could have avoided so much
heartache and violence.
It was evident that God’s hand was on my
daughter and me. I interviewed for a receptionist
job and ended up obtaining my license to sell
health and life insurance policies. Suddenly, I
didn’t just have a job, I had a career! I was able to
support my daughter.
I began to pray for a husband, a godly man
who would love God first, then me and my
daughter. I wanted a man who would treat us as
Christ desired, not be abusive like the other men
I’d known. I also asked the Lord to prepare us for
who He had in mind. I couldn’t believe His choice.
I met Tim when Tayani was three. He was a
new believer. We were friends for a year before
we started dating. In fact, I tried to set him up with
my sister. She was into white guys; I was not. One
day, he and I went to meet a group of people
for dinner, and no one else showed up. I sensed
the Lord say, “That’s him. That’s the man I have
prepared for you.” I was like, “Uh, I don’t think so.”
But God made it clear that this relationship was
of Him, and sure enough, we started dating. We
were engaged and married within the year. I’ll
never forget Tim getting down on one knee and
proposing to my daughter and me. He vowed to
take care of us both, and he has. He adopted her
immediately after our wedding ceremony and has
been an incredible example of a godly husband
and father.
My relationship with Tim was the first male
relationship (other than my stepfather) I’d had
that didn’t include mental, sexual, or physical
abuse. Many in the world would shun our choice
because of our mixed race, but God knew what He
was doing when He brought Tim and me together.
We have been married now for 20 years and have
two beautiful children and an adorable, energetic
grandson.
When I look back over my life and see how God
has redeemed it, I am amazed. He took all the
evil I had experienced and chosen, and brought
something beautiful out of it. And He healed me
in the process.
God has always been with me—I know that
without a doubt. Even in the midst of all the hurt,
violence, and rejection I experienced, He was
there. And He is with you.
Perhaps, like me, you know all too well the
pain of rejection or abuse. There’s no way around
it; it hurts. But I want to encourage you to keep
extending God’s love to those who hurt you. Don’t
allow their bitterness and hate to harden you. It
will only weigh you down.
The biggest healing in my life came through
forgiveness. First of all, I had to receive God’s
forgiveness for my years of wandering and for
the decisions I had made that grieved His heart.
Second, I had to forgive myself, too. Then, I had
to forgive all those people who had rejected and
abused me through the years. It wasn't always
easy, but it was worth it. Forgiveness has released
me from them, positioned me to find true healing,
and enabled me to fully walk in my true identity. In
Christ, I am accepted and loved—and no one can
take that away from me.
Your journey through life will never be easy,
no matter who you are. But when you have
God backing you up, life is doable. He’ll get you
through it; He can turn even the ugliest situations
into beauty.
When you put your life in His hands, you’ll
be amazed at what God can do. In Him,
you’ll find what you’ve always been searching for—
love, acceptance, and value. God will never reject
you. V
Photography by Timothy Smith Honor Photography kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 27

MINISTRY NEWS
Do you need
encouragement?
If you are in the military, the hospital,
assisted living, an addiction recovery
program, or incarcerated and find
yourself in need of encouragement,
our Correspondence Team is here for
you. Here’s what you can expect:
Send a letter to us at:
Victorious Living
Correspondence Outreach
PO Box 328
Starke, FL 32091
You’ll receive:
✚ Welcome letter from founder,
Kristi Overton Johnson
✚ Timely, prayerful responses from
our Correspondence Team
✚ Monthly devotionals from
Kristi Overton Johnson
✚ Personal subscription to
Victorious Living magazine
✚ Prayer support from our Victorious
Living Correspondence Team
PLEASE NOTE: Those who write to our ministry team
will receive a personal response from our team signed
“Your Victorious Living Family.” Our team of writers love
the Lord and are committed to encouraging you in your
life journey. Due to the volume of correspondence, we
are unable to assign specific writers to individuals. Also,
we cannot handle legal cases, contact people on your
behalf, or disperse items such as money or stamps. Please
write your personal information neatly and include your
DOC number if you are incarcerated. PLEASE NOTIFY
US IF YOU ARE TRANSFERRED FROM YOUR
FACILITY OR BASE. IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE
A RESPONSE FROM OUR TEAM WITHIN ONE
MONTH, IT MEANS EITHER WE DID NOT RECEIVE
YOUR LETTER, WE COULD NOT REPLY BECAUSE WE
COULD NOT READ YOUR NAME/DOC#, OR YOUR
FACILITY HAS REJECTED OUR CORRESPONDENCE.
WE MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO REPLY.
Victorious Living | The Mission behind Your Subscription
Filled with marvelous stories of God’s faithfulness and the truth of His Word, Victorious Living brings
proof that God is alive and working in the lives of His children today.
When I started this magazine in 2011, all I knew was that the Lord wanted me to start telling people’s
stories, so I did. In 2013, He opened a door for Victorious Living to be distributed in the prison system.
(Visit kojministries.org to learn how God turned a simple visit with an incarcerated friend into an evergrowing
prison outreach that today includes monthly mentorship and personal correspondence with
thousands of inmates.) Victorious Living is truly a light in the darkness.
Victorious Living is also distributed to military personnel at home and overseas, as well as in drug and
alcohol rehabilitation centers, hospitals, and assisted living facilities. We want to bring hope, help, and
freedom to people who are isolated, overwhelmed, and facing challenging situations. We know that the
God-stories contained in this magazine can encourage and equip people for victorious living in every
season of life.
Maybe after you’ve finished reading your copy, you’ll consider supporting this life-changing outreach
of hope and freedom. We would appreciate your help.
Kristi Overton Johnson
Get It. Give It. Use It.
Find out how you can change a life.
www.kojministries.org
Shine Bright & Write!
Consider hosting a Shine Bright and Write Event at your home, church, or organization and help our
team respond to the thousands of letters we receive. Together, through this letter-writing endeavor,
we can touch many lives! See kojministries.org for more information.
28 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

FROM OUR READERS
Dear Victorious Living,
I want to let you know that I love to read
Victorious Living. It touches my heart and helps
me understand that we all go through things in
life, but Jesus can help us through it all. He has
saved the people in your magazine just like He
has saved me.
I was in a gang for a long time. I joined because I
wanted to be cool and feel loved. I had to get on
my knees to get beat up to join that family, and
I thought that was love. I did a lot of bad things
in that family. If you can think of it, I probably did
it. But now, I have joined another family—God’s
family. And this time, I didn’t have to get beat up.
Jesus let me in with open arms because He loves
me. He even took the beating for me, so I could
be in His family.
I used to take the blood of Jesus for granted, but
it’s His powerful blood that has cleansed me of
my sins and saved me. Jesus got me out of that
gang with peace. I prayed to Him about it, and
He handled it for me. Luke 1:37 says nothing is
impossible with God.
Today, my faith is in my Lord Jesus Christ, and
not in man or what this world can give me. I want
your readers to know that what God has done
for me, He will do for anybody. He will welcome
anyone into His family and save them. And then
Jesus will never leave or forsake them.
May the grace of God, the Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, be with you.
Albert M.
So encourage each other and build each other up,
just as you are already doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Dear Victorious Living,
We received your magazine at our church. My
ten-year-old daughter read her copy on the way
home and wouldn’t put it down during lunch.
Typically, I’d ask her to put something she’s
reading down while we eat, but the Lord shut
my mouth this time. After she finished reading
Rivaldo’s article (Volume 2018, Issue 1), she was
struck by the seriousness of his commitment to
the Lord. I think the article mentioned something
about how important it is to fully surrender to
Jesus on His terms, not just because it’s “a good
thing to do.”
The Holy Spirit is at work in our little girl’s heart,
and it was so important for her to hear Rivaldo’s
story. I was blown away by her desire to have
a deep and sincere walk with Jesus like Rivaldo.
Thank you for publishing!
Sincerely,
Patrick Barrett
Understanding My Part
by Roy A. Borges
I believe with all my heart that God loves me.
He knows all about my struggles. He knows I am
a sinner, but still, He loves me. That’s why He
sent a Savior. That’s why Jesus came and died
on the cross. He paid the price for my sins. He is
my Savior.
So, what is my part in this relationship?
My part is simply to acknowledge that, in my
own strength, I am powerless. I am hopeless. I
am fully dependent on God.
My sufficiency comes from God (2
Corinthians 3:5). The apostle Paul said that
faith works through love (Galatians 5:6).
Christ’s love for me makes me more than a
conqueror (Romans 8:37). His love protects
me from the evil forces that I face every day
inside these prison fences. They want to make
me think I am unworthy. But I know the truth,
and I can confidently say, “I am worthy because
Jesus’s blood has made me worthy.”
No one in their own strength can carry out
God’s call to love others as He loves us. From my
point of view, it looks impossible…and I have
failed more times than I can count. But thankfully,
God is gracious and forgives me every time I fall
short. Admitting that I am weak isn’t easy. Doing
so means I have to recognize that I am selfish, too.
If I take God out of the picture, the effect is
failure. God wants me to rely on Him. To put Him
first. But my natural self says I come first. That’s
the kind of thinking that has landed me in prison
three times. Leaving God out of the equation
looks like this: me minus God equals zero. I
need God’s help. I can never leave Him out of
the picture.
When I acknowledge that
I do not have the power to
change my life and I ask
God for His mercy and
strength to help me take
the first step, He will direct
my path. He will not forsake
me. He takes me just as I am
with all my doubts and faults.
Either I choose to trust Him, or
I don’t. That’s my part. V
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 29

LETTERS OF HOPE
MIRACLES STILL HAPPEN
by George Starks with Carole Engle Avriett
Dear Fellow Traveler:
My name is George Wiley Starks, and I’d like
to encourage you with an amazing story one of
my B-17 crew members told me after we returned
home from World War II.
On March 16, 1944, we were flying on our first
bombing mission to Germany, when a German
fighter shot out my number-one engine. The left
wing immediately caught fire, and as pilot, I had
no choice but to order the crew to bail out. All
ten of us jumped at 24,000 feet into Nazi-occupied
France. Our average age was twenty-two. We were
young, inexperienced, and scared to death.
We parachuted down, scattered over a broad
swath of French countryside. Each of us began a
journey that day that required us to dig way down
into our guts for the courage and determination to
make it out of enemy territory alive.
In later years, we all had incredible stories to
tell, including this one from Andy Brenden, one of
the waist gunners on our B-17. The event left such
a deep and lasting impression upon him, he said
he had often thought about it throughout the rest
of his life.
When Andy hit the ground that horrific day in
March 1944, he was alone. He didn’t spot any of
our crew. After a few days of hiding, however, he
met up with Wally Trinder, the other waist gunner.
Next, they were fortunate to encounter
some members of the French underground,
who immediately began helping them evade
the Germans and initiate their escape attempt,
hopefully out of France.
But terror filled each day—they were constantly
in hiding, watching, always on the knife’s edge. The
brave French people were helping them, but there
was never a guarantee they wouldn’t be caught
and shot in the next moment. Their dangerous
path to freedom ended with a harrowing trek
through the Pyrenees, a series of steep mountains
that separate the southern border of France from
Spain.
Here’s what happened. After being passed
from one French Underground contact to another
and with more close-calls than they wished to
remember, my two airmen found themselves with
one of the most daring men they had ever met.
They knew him only by the nickname, Frisco. He
was an American whose wife and children had
30 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018
been killed by the Gestapo. Frisco was consumed
with hatred for the Germans.
When their new American guide told them
what it would take for them to get through the
Pyrenees, Andy realized the dangerous journey
ahead. But they were so close now to freedom.
There was no turning back.
The day finally arrived for them to get started up
the mountain; Frisco led the way. The group had
not traveled far when a large German patrol with
police dogs spotted them from the road below.
Over the next few hours, the countryside was
filled with whizzing bullets and men scuffling up
the slopes, trying to keep from being shot. At one
point, three large German police dogs charged up
the steep incline. A Frenchman pulled out a knife
and slit one dog’s throat, while Frisco shot another
that had attached itself to the guide’s leg. The third
dog then spooked and ran off.
Andy was crawling on his belly, pulling himself
along with a stick, when the stick was shot out of
his hand. The attack by the dogs had given the
Germans below a chance to adjust their range, and
their next round of bullets was more accurately
placed. Andy was sure this was the end of the line.
Just then, Wally caught up with him and said they
had come this far—they had to make a run for it.
With that, the two of them began to scramble
in a zig-zag pattern, hoping that would keep them
from getting hit. A bullet ricocheted off a rock
near Andy, shearing off a piece that tore into his
kneecap. It felt like he had been poked with a
branding iron, but he was too afraid to stop.
Above them, they could see the wire fence
delineating the border, and beyond that fence was
Spain. They had been told that once they were
actually on Spanish soil, the Germans would stop
firing at them.
With every ounce of strength left in him, Andy
hobbled as fast as he could toward the top of the
mountain. Wally helped him over the wire, and
they turned to look back. The Germans were
circling to get a better position with their machine
guns.
Andy and Wally stared down at the steep
incline that stretched before them into Spain. It
was covered with snow and there was nowhere to
hide. In their dirty, dark, workmen’s clothing, they
would be sitting ducks against the white ground.
Pilot Lt. George Starks (front row, far left), pictured
with his 10 member B-17 crew, including Sgt. Wally
Trinder (back row, second from the left) and Sgt. Andy
Brenden (back row, second from the right).
They were now officially on Spanish soil, but it
was obvious the Germans intended to mow them
down with machine gun fire anyway as they tried
to traverse the slope.
Andy told me that moment was unlike any
he had ever experienced in his life—so close to
escaping, yet so close to death at the same time.
And he remembers a split second of crying out to
God in desperation, a simple plea for help: “God,
please, please help us.”
My two crewmen stood there frozen for a few
seconds, certain they were about to die. Then Andy
said something happened that was so strange, he
knew it was proof that miracles really still happen.
To the absolute amazement of both young men,
a low cloud dropped down from nowhere and
produced a downpour of rain and sleet so hard
and fast it concealed the two fleeing Americans.
They slid all the way down the hill under its cover.
When they had reached the bottom, the storm
stopped almost as quickly as it had begun. They
both looked back up the steep incline to see the
frustrated Germans staring down at them through
the wire fence.
About that time, they heard the crackle of
machine gun fire and saw one of the Germans
drop. They realized it must be Frisco somewhere
still back on the other side of the border,
continuing his mission to defeat the Germans.
But my two crew members were now officially in

neutral territory, and they began sprinting as fast
as Andy’s wounded leg would allow to the first
Spanish village they could find.
I can see why Andy always said that event stuck
with him the rest of his life. I remember a minister
saying one time that a miracle is not when you’ve
been trying to sell your house for a long time and
finally a buyer comes along. He said that’s not a
miracle, that’s just a blessing. Granted, God might
have been behind the sale that brought blessings,
but it wasn’t a miracle. A miracle is when a law of
nature is suspended or altered in some way only
God can accomplish. That day in the Pyrenees had
been a sunny, clear day. Then suddenly, a blinding
storm blew up out of nowhere and saved the lives
of my two crew members.
I believe miracles do happen. Just as in this
event, I can’t help but think, like Andy did the rest
of his life, that his desperate prayer was heard and
answered. What he and Wally experienced that
day was a real miracle from God.
Thinking back over my own life, I find great
assurance in this story. God is not impersonal,
dwelling somewhere in heaven with no interest
or participation in our lives. God was there that
day watching these events, and He acted after
Andy prayed. The answer came exactly when they
needed it.
I pray you find hope in this story too. We all face
challenges—each day has its problems, sometimes
small ones, sometimes big ones. Sometimes the
solution seems against all odds. But we have a big
God. He will bless us as we pray to Him and seek
His ways. But let us never forget—God is also a
God of miracles, and He still uses them today to
rescue His children. V
Editor’s Note: For more war stories based on
the shoot-down of George Starks’ B-17, take a
look at Coffin Corner Boys, Carole Engle Avriett’s
latest book, released May 14, 2018; available from
Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Daddy, Why Do You Love
Cocaine More Than Me? by Kim Brian Woerner
I was in prison and on the phone with Dawn,
my youngest daughter, when she asked, “Daddy,
why do you love cocaine more than me?” My
heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest.
I said, “Baby, I love you more than anything in
the world. I would die for you!”
The problem was, I didn’t understand the true
meaning of love. To me, love was a feeling or a
thought. I would soon realize that true love is
an action. It’s unconditional, and it’s sacrificial.
It’s about giving up your desires, so you can be
there for the ones you love.
I was released from prison, but it wasn’t long
before I had another mess up. I ran to California,
thinking if I moved away from Orlando and my
friends, I’d solve my problems. But the problem
wasn’t my friends or being in Orlando. The
problem was me. I was a man with a fallen heart;
I was the problem. So, like He always does, God
rescued me from me!
In 1995, I gave my life to the Lord—but I
kept parts of my heart closed to Him. The hidden
parts of me made drugs my idol. But the drugs
weren’t my only problem, and God knew it. The
iniquity of my fallen heart was my problem! On
four occasions, I asked God to take drugs away
from me…and each time, He answered me
within 24 hours—by sending me back to prison!
You see, God knew that for me, prison would
be where I would start a real relationship with
Him. He knew it was the only place I would slow
down long enough to hear His voice.
It wasn’t until my seventh prison visit, however,
that I finally surrendered all of me to God. And in
that surrender, I finally found freedom.
I’d been teaching a Bible study in prison, but I
was also still getting high and smoking cigarettes.
Because of that, two Christian brothers came to
my room and asked me to not teach anymore.
They said teachers needed to hold themselves
to a higher standard and practice what they
taught. As he left my room, one brother stepped
back and said, “God said He has a question for
you. He wants to know why you love drugs and
cigarettes more than Him.” Then he turned and
walked out.
It all clicked. I broke down in
tears and balled like a baby,
because I remembered
Dawn asking me the same
question—and she’d been right. I dropped to
my knees and repented of my sin. “Lord Jesus, I
admit it: I do love drugs, cigarettes, women, and
this whole lifestyle more than I love my family,
freedom, and most importantly, You.” Right
then, I surrendered it all to Him. “Lord, I give you
my life and my desires. They are my gifts to You.”
It was what God had been waiting for all
along—and it was the start of my new life.
It has been more than five years since that
prayer, and I have been completely clean
ever since. The key to my transformation was
changing the condition of my heart, for where
your heart is, that is where your desires and
treasures are stored. Today, my heart is fixed
on Jesus Christ and loving Him with my entire
being. Through my new relationship with Him,
I’ve been able to love others as God intends and
overcome the things that were holding me back.
Is there something that you’ve been battling?
Something that keeps tripping you up and
costing you what is precious to you? Evaluate
the true desires of your heart. Is there something
you love more than God? True freedom will only
come when you give Jesus Christ first place in
your life. Freedom comes in surrender. V
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 31

No Longer
“Stupid Renner”
by Rick Renner
There are things in our lives that can haunt and
affect us for many years if we allow them to. In fact,
some people become hurt by life, and they never
get past the point at which they were wounded.
Perhaps they experienced something negative that
left them feeling disrespected, inferior, unloved,
uncared for, unwanted, or rejected.
I grew up in a wonderful, godly, Christian
home, but I can very much relate to some of these
feelings. There was a time in my life when I felt
inferior to everyone, even though I had no reason
to feel that way.
I was sick for a good part of my junior high
years, and I missed a great deal of school at that
time. As a result of that sickness, I missed many of
the essential building blocks for higher learning.
When I finally returned to school, I was far behind
everyone else. I especially felt the pain of all those
absences when it came to the subject of math.
As I started my first algebra class in junior
high school, the teacher ridiculed me for not
understanding those basic elements that everyone
else in the class seemed to readily grasp. I tried
to explain my situation to her, but she responded
by calling me stupid. In fact, every day when she
called the roll, instead of calling my name, she’d
say, “Stupid Renner,” and I’d always answer,
“Here.”
My teacher’s words negatively affected my
self-image. My classmates laughed at me and
thought it was funny to also call me stupid. In fact,
that terrible word became a popular nickname
for me throughout the school. It seemed like
everywhere I turned, people were yelling out to
me, “Hey, Stupid!” That name-calling created such
deep feelings of inferiority in my psyche that it
32 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018
affected me several years afterward, even after I
finally mastered those elements of algebra that I’d
missed earlier.
I think almost everyone remembers feeling
unwanted or rejected at some time in his or her
life. Some people recover from these experiences;
others don’t. The devil loves to use bad memories
to keep a person locked in an emotional prison.
These are the people who never feel wanted and
accepted, nor do they feel like they can measure
up to other people. They live in a continual state
of feeling “less than”—no matter how much they
accomplish in their lives. They live their entire lives
wounded. But that isn’t the will of God for those
people!
I’m thankful that what happened to me had
no long-term effect on my life. In fact, I even
laugh about it today. But I’ve had many other
opportunities to feel rejected since those years
in junior high. For instance, when my family and
I moved to the former Soviet Union in 1991, we
poured our whole lives into our new home. We
invested our finances, energy, and nearly every
ounce of our strength into establishing churches,
broadcasting the Word of God on television, and
enriching the lives of the people in this region of
the world. But time and again, I was stunned by
the editorials and newspaper articles that accused
me and our ministry of being criminals, cult
leaders, a dangerous sect, and so on.
Regardless of who we are, we all deal with
issues like these from time to time—things that
are unjust, unfair, hurtful, and wrong! Therefore,
it is essential that we decide how we’re going to
react when something occurs that makes us feel
inferior, unappreciated, unloved, unwanted, or
rejected.
Personally, I turn to 1 Corinthians 1:28 when I
feel tossed aside by friends, by the world, or even
by some in the church. This scripture has always
been a source of strength to me. It says, “The base
things of the world, and things which are despised,
hath God chosen.”
The Corinthian believers Paul was writing
to were being ostracized and were considered
stupid by the unbelieving community in the
city of Corinth. Those unbelieving citizens didn’t
understand the Christian faith but instead of trying
to, they just decided that Christians were stupid
and out of touch with the rest of society. In fact,
their disdain for Christians was so intense that Paul
said they despised the Corinthian church.
The word “despised” in 1 Corinthians 1:28 is the
Greek word exoutheneo. This Greek word means
to make light of, to despise, to treat with contempt,
to disregard, and to neglect. It portrays someone
low and detestable whom others perceive as
hideous, disgusting, despicable, and nauseating.
In fact, this word describes a person who is such
an outcast and who is so low in other people’s
opinions that they don’t even consider him worth
recognition. People just want to shut their eyes
and pretend that person isn’t there.
But notice the end of the verse: Paul boldly
announced that those whom the world rejects are
the very ones God has chosen!
1 Corinthians 1:28 could be translated: “God
has picked out people who are laughable, and
through them, He is confounding those who think
they are high and mighty. Low-class, second-rate,
common, average, run-of-the-mill people—those
so low that the world doesn’t even think they’re
worth the time of day—these are the ones whom
God has chosen.”
Have you noticed that the lost and unbelieving
world today tends to either ridicule believers or
ignore us and pretend we’re not here? This is
nothing new. In 1 Corinthians 1:28, the Greek
tense indicates that the lost world’s terrible, low
opinion of Christians will continue to be prevalent.
First John 5:19 explains why the world refuses to
acknowledge those of us who are believers: “the
Continued on page 37

Somebody Doesn’t Like Me!
by Kenny Munds
Someone doesn’t like me.
Well, I’m sure that’s an understatement—
there’s a lot more than just one person who
doesn’t blend with my personality or accept my
faults.
Now, I’m not saying this person isn’t justified
in the way he feels toward me. I’m old enough
to have learned that, if someone has something
against me, it’s quite possible I’ve played a role
in that feeling. I’ve since offered an apology and
asked forgiveness, but to no avail. It seems I may
have made an enemy.
Does it bother you when someone doesn’t
like you?
All my life, I’ve been a people-pleaser. I’ve
sought after and desperately needed approval
from so many. It used to really bother me when
I discovered someone was upset with me or
had spoken unkind words about me. My typical
reaction was to reject and avoid them.
But seeking the approval of man is a neverending
cycle. None of us are perfect, and not
everyone is going to think we’re okay all the
time. Someone, somewhere, sometime, is going
to have a beef with us. It’s just a cold, hard fact.
First John 3:13 ESV says, “Do not be surprised…
that the world hates you.” There are people who
even despised Billy Graham and Mother Teresa.
And Jesus!
So how do we deal with that?
Well, first we forgive—them and ourselves.
Second, we let the rejection go and give that
person to God. Only He can change someone’s
heart. Only He can make people see truth. Third,
we stay focused on our relationship with the
Lord. Only He can heal the hurt in our hearts
that often comes with rejection. Only He can
keep us moving forward. And fourth, we love.
Yes, we love, even our enemy.
Luke 6:27–32 ESV instructs us to: “Love your
enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless
those who curse you, pray for those who abuse
you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer
the other also, and from one who takes away
your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.
Give to everyone who begs from you, and from
one who takes away your goods do not demand
them back. And as you wish that others would
do to you, do so to them. If you love those who
love you, what benefit is that to you? For even
sinners love those who love them.”
Romans 15:1–3 ESV continues this way:
“We who are strong have an obligation to bear
with the failings of the weak, and not to please
ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor
for his good, to build him up. For Christ did
not please himself, but as it is written, ‘The
reproaches of those who reproached you fell on
me.’ ”
Hey, isn’t that people-pleasing? Not really. It’s
people loving.
Sure, I want everyone to like me and think I’m
wonderful, but that’s just not going to happen.
The principle to learn here is that God’s love
absorbs hate. That’s how God can love those
who hate Him. As we are being transformed by
the Spirit into the image of His Son, we must
learn to absorb hate, to accept rejection, and to
love despite persecution.
If you listen to the news or read it today,
you’ll see hatred in full bloom—people viciously
attacking the character and integrity of others.
Blame is rampant. Christians, especially, are
under the gun every day. And it stirs within me
a desire to defend and counter with my own
vicious accusations to vindicate my faith.
Just like I wanted to do with my newly
acquired enemy, above.
But thankfully, I’ve been able to look at him
through the eyes of a Savior who was hated
and despised, beaten and crucified. But I, like
that Savior, can now love and forgive, and I am
able to see a young man wrestling with his own
demons.
If you know or sense that someone doesn’t
like you, don’t let it weigh you down. Let it
humble you; let it cause you to look inward for
a renewed perception of yourself. You might
find faults you didn’t know you had, but by
discovering them, you can take them to Jesus,
ask forgiveness, and leave them with Him. Then,
you’ll be strong enough to not blame anyone,
even yourself, and through your own growth,
you’ll become a godly example to anyone who
holds you in contempt.
Remember what Paul said in Romans
12:17–21: “Repay no one evil for evil but give
thought to do what is honorable in the sight
of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you,
live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge
yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God,
for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,
says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy
is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him
something to drink; for by so doing you will
heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be
overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.”
You know what? I know not everyone likes
me…but that’s okay.
God likes me. In fact, He loves me! And He
loves you, too. V
God’s love absorbs hate. That’s how God can love
those who hate Him. As we are being transformed
by the Spirit into the image of His Son, we must
learn to absorb hate, to accept rejection, and to
love despite persecution.
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 33

What Does a Daddy Do? by Kristi Dews Dale
I watch my daughter as she carefully fixes
her hair. Blonde ringlets fall around her round,
cherubic face. She’s wearing a special dress that
she has carefully chosen for this occasion. On
her arm, she wears a corsage with delicate, white
and purple flowers. She has never had a corsage
before, and she keeps stealing glances at the
pretty blossoms.
She giggles with anticipation for her first daddy/
daughter date. They’re going to have dinner and
go to the ballet. I can see the confidence shine in
her eyes as her father tells her she is beautiful.
My husband always makes our three
daughters feel special. He carves out time for
them regularly. Our newly adopted son now
revels in the attention from a father as well. He
already has a few favorite activities that he loves
to do with his papa. He loves riding on papa’s
strong shoulders, working in the yard with
him, and having special breakfasts on Saturday
mornings.
Ask my husband anything about our kids,
and he will know it—their favorite foods, favorite
board games, their ticklish spots, their favorite
holidays, or where they hide their Halloween
candy so mommy can’t find it. The reason he
knows these things is that he spends time with
them; he invests in their lives. Most importantly,
he reads Bible stories at bedtime and prays with
them and over them.
The results of my husband’s faithful pursuit
of relationship with each of our children are
amazing. They are too many to count, but I will
name a few. My daughters feel beautiful and
confident. My son is learning to seek wisdom
from the Lord. All four of my children are filled
with peace and security in our family.
If an earthly father can provide all this, then
how much more can our heavenly Father
provide to us, His children?
What is it like to have a heavenly Father?
God the Father is holy, mighty, faithful, and
compassionate. He is the King of Glory who has
adopted us into His family. Sometimes that’s
incomprehensible to me—that God, the
Lord Most High, would call me His child.
But He does, and my Father in heaven
teaches me every day how to abide with
Him, trust in Him, and be more like Christ.
How does the Father communicate these
truths to me? He accomplishes this through
His Word. So many intimate truths are shared in
the Bible. It’s one way that our heavenly Father
parents us while we are on earth. Here are just a
few of the incredible gifts He gives His children.
First, and most importantly, He provides us
with the path to salvation. Romans 10:9 says, “if
you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe
in your heart that God raised him from the dead,
you will be saved.” What a gift, that the Father
gives us His Son to save us from our sins.
He also provides correction and discipline.
Hebrews 12:7 explains that we endure discipline
because God is treating us as His own children.
Verse 10 says, “God’s discipline is always good
for us, so that we might share in his holiness.”
Sometimes we do not like this discipline, but it is
part of our journey to become more like Christ.
Our Father also provides us with wisdom.
James 1:5 says, “if you need wisdom, ask our
generous God, and he will give it to you.” All we
have to do is ask, and God pours down wisdom
for us to navigate life here on earth.
He strengthens our souls. I love Psalm
138:3: “As soon as I pray, you answer me; you
encourage me by giving me strength.” Every day,
God strengthens my soul and gives me courage
to finish the tasks at hand.
Our Father lavishes us with confidence and
refuge. Proverbs 14:26 states, “those who fear
the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their
children.” Here God promises to protect His
children. Again and again, He is faithful to His
people.
Our God is a comforter. “God is our merciful
Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts
us in all our troubles.” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4).
Amazingly, our Father goes even further to collect
our tears once they fall from our eyes. “You keep
track of all my sorrows. You have collected all
my tears in your bottle” (Psalm 56:8). This is an
amazing testament to His watchful, intentional
care of His children.
Finally, Abba, our Father, gives us perfect
peace. “You will keep in perfect peace all who
trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on You”
(Isaiah 26:3). This does not mean that every day
will feel like a vacation, but you will surely feel
secure in the Father’s love, even as you face
difficulties.
I am grateful for my earthly father and for my
husband, the father of my children, but I am in
awe of my Daddy in heaven. If you have never
experienced God as your Father, I encourage you
today to explore God’s Word and get to know
Him. His “unfailing love is better than life itself”
(Psalm 63:3).
The fulfillment of your personal relationship
with God is not to be missed. Let us continue to
discover together how high, how wide, and how
deep the Father’s love is for us. V
34 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

L O V E C O V E R S
by Bonnie Hagemann
There’s a story about Noah in the book of
Genesis that I think of often because it says
something important about God. This story takes
place after the flood, when things were growing
again and Noah had begun to enjoy the fruits
of his labors. Genesis 9:20–21 tells us that Noah
became drunk on the wine from his recently
planted vineyard and ended up naked on the floor
of his tent.
Ham, one of Noah’s three sons, found his father
that way and went outside and told his brothers,
Shem and Japheth. The Bible doesn’t tell us
everything that happened, but it wasn’t good, and
when Noah woke from his stupor and found out
what Ham had done, it resulted in some serious
cursing of Ham’s son, Canaan.
But then comes the beautiful part of the story.
When Shem and Japheth learned of their father’s
condition, instead of mocking him, they laid a
garment on both of their shoulders and walked
backward into the tent and covered his nakedness.
Their faces were intentionally turned away, so they
would not see him.
Through this loving act, they covered his shame.
In a more modern story, I remember hearing
of a senior pastor in a small town who received
a call in the middle of the night from the youth
pastor. He was calling from jail after being arrested
for drinking and driving. The senior pastor woke
up his wife and told her what had happened.
She immediately got out of bed and went to the
kitchen to prepare a meal.
Then the senior pastor woke up his son and
told him to get up and prepare the guest room
with fresh linens. The son, confused, asked why
he had to do this in the middle of the night. His
father simply said, “A brother has fallen, and we
must restore him.”
A brother has fallen.
Even this statement is filled with love. How
many of us can say that we responded with love
when we heard about someone who had fallen?
Was our first impulse to prepare a meal and a bed
and help them through a difficult, painful, and
lonely time? Or was our first response to judge,
condemn, and tell others…so they could pray, of
course.
You’ve probably heard of the acronym WWJD,
which stands for “What would Jesus do?” It’s a
common slogan from a few years ago, popular
on bumper stickers and jewelry. I think this slogan
needs one little tweak. I think it should say, “What
did Jesus do?”
Well, let’s take a look at a few examples.
What did Jesus do when He met the Samaritan
woman at the well? Did He tell everyone about
her many lovers? The five husbands she’d had and
the man she was living with at the time? No. He
offered her a drink of the Water of Life, forgave
her of her sins, and told her to sin no more. She
returned to her city, told everyone about Jesus,
and brought them back to hear Him. Jesus’s loving
interaction with this woman was far outside the
social norm. (See John 4:1–42.)
What did Jesus do when He faced Peter
after his third denial? Did He condemn him
and make sure Peter understood how badly he
had messed up? No. Jesus built a fire, prepared
Peter a meal, reversed Peter’s failure by gently
guiding him through three professions of love,
and then allowed him to go on and preach that
great sermon on the day of Pentecost, bringing
thousands to saving faith in Jesus. (See John 21
and Acts 2.)
What did Jesus do when the Pharisees and
teachers of religious law brought a woman caught
in the act of adultery to stand before Jesus? Did He
condemn her to die? To put it in today’s terms, did
He invoke the death penalty, which by law would
have been exactly what He should have done
and was expected to do? No. He reminded the
onlookers that no one was without sin. And when
all her accusers had left the scene, Jesus gently
spoke to her, forgave her of her sin, and told her
to go and sin no more. (See John 8:1–11.)
What did Jesus do every time He was faced with
the opportunity to condemn or shame someone?
He covered them with love. He dealt with the
issue, but He did it in love. Because that’s what
love does. Love covers, and Jesus is love. He never
failed to extend mercy and grace and to help
people move forward to fulfill their destiny.
And that’s what we should do, too. The next
time a brother or sister falls, don’t gossip about
their failure. Don’t shun them for their sin. Instead,
cover their shame and love them to wholeness. V
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 35

KEYS TO VICTORIOUS LIVING
Moving Forward through the Tough Stuff
by Kristi Overton Johnson
Are you caught in what seems like a hopeless
situation? If you are, know that with God, it is
possible to move forward. I learned this truth
one night when I was on my hands and knees,
surrounded by dog poop. I’m so sorry for the
imagery.
You see, my dog, Mater, had an unfortunate
stomach attack that left my new cream-colored
carpet in a very bad state. It was 3 AM when my
sweet dream was interrupted by an incredible
stench that made both me and my husband
simultaneously sit upright in bed. There was
no mistaking the smell. I headed carefully to
the bathroom to flip on a light and assess the
situation, but two steps in, I planted my foot and
my favorite pajama pants right in the very thing I
was trying to avoid. What a way to wake up!
I washed my feet, put on clean pajamas, and
walked back to the bedroom, only to find Tim,
face down in the bed, sleeping. I’m sure he was
trying to smother himself. Mater, on the other
hand, was looking sheepishly at me. He knew
he had committed quite the crime. As much as
I wanted to scold him, I couldn’t. Poor dog. He’s
old and has cancer, which is why I let him sleep
close by. I want to be there in case he needs me.
Guess I missed the call for help!
I looked at Mater, who was panting, and said,
“It’s okay, old boy.” He flopped down and went
to sleep.
I surveyed the damage and wanted to cry.
I couldn’t see any way the carpet could be
salvaged or how I would make it through the
task before me. I’m talking this stuff went from
one side of the bedroom to the other. It was all I
could do to not throw up. And in that moment,
I realized I had a choice: I could either pretend
nothing had happened, climb back in bed, and
go back to sleep; or I could get on the floor and
clean it up, one pile at a time.
There are some messes in life that you just
can’t step over and ignore—like this one. This
mess wasn’t going away. It had to be dealt
with in a very personal way. There was no way
around it; I had to go all in. I had to pick up,
scrub, soak, spray, pray, and repeat the process
again and again. I ended up using two bottles of
what I thought was carpet stain remover…only
to realize after the fact that one of the bottles
was actually boat fiberglass cleaner. (It was the
middle of the night, remember.) No wonder it
wasn’t working!
Well, I could either grumble and complain or
face the mess with a positive attitude. At 3 AM
on that fateful morning, I determined that those
piles of poop were not going to ruin my day. I
decided to use that time, however long it took,
to pray, sing, and worship the Lord. I refused
to let the circumstance disturb me emotionally.
Knowing that I couldn’t pray and sing out loud
(lest I wake Sleeping Beauty), I decided to do
these things inwardly.
I set my mind on the Lord and sang to the top
of my brain! I prayed and talked to Him for two
hours, and I listened. It was awesome. Yes, I said
awesome. Because I made my Lord bigger than
those piles of poo, an overwhelming sense of
peace and joy rose within me, right there in the
middle of that messy situation. Not only that, the
Lord revealed many things to my heart during
that time. I actually thanked Mater later that day
for the opportunity to learn such valuable truths.
My first lesson occurred about 20 minutes into
the cleaning process. I was scrubbing away when
this phrase suddenly dropped in my spirit, “This
is your first lesson on peace.” I had recently asked
God to teach me about the subject. How was I to
know He’d use Mater’s explosion of number two
to teach me lesson number one? But He did, and
that lesson was that peace is a choice.
My choice to focus my heart’s affection and
mind’s attention on God instead of the mess
around me determined that I would experience
peace. My level of peace had absolutely nothing
to do with my circumstances. Nor does yours.
It was so cool. As I set my mind on God, I
actually felt His presence and His peace rise up in
me. It was such a gift. Isaiah 26:3 says that “God
will keep in perfect peace all who trust in Him, all
whose thoughts are fixed on Him.” I experienced
the truth of this verse that night. Believe it or not,
I actually enjoyed those early morning hours
because I was with the Lord. He was there right
in the middle of the mess with me, and together,
we were doing the dirty work.
God doesn’t leave us to clean up messes
on our own—not even actual piles of poo. He
helps us in every situation. He encourages and
comforts us; He gives us strength and wisdom;
He teaches us new things when we are willing to
listen and learn. There are lessons all around us,
if we will just open our hearts and eyes.
Stinky situations will always be in our lives.
John 16:33 promises that in this world we will
have trials and sorrows. More times than not, we
will have absolutely no control over them. This
verse goes on to tell us not to be discouraged
because Jesus Christ has already overcome every
single stinky situation we will ever encounter.
James 1:2 tells us that in the midst of the mess,
we can even count it all joy. The word count is
a mathematical term that implies that if we are
36 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

NO LONGER STUPID | from page 32____________________
focused on God and relying on Him, we will
actually be able to add up moments of joy we
experienced in the mess. I know I can count
many moments of joy from that night.
I can’t tell you how important my decision to
be thankful and full of praise was in my cleanup
process. It kept me in the presence of the Lord,
which kept me in peace. The Lord doesn’t bless
or hang around a complaining, grumbling spirit.
Study the life of the Israelites in the book of
Exodus, and you’ll see.
Choosing to keep a godly attitude is key to
experiencing peace in every situation; it’s key to
moving forward, too. It won’t be easy, but it is a
purposeful decision worth the sacrifice. As you
set your mind on the Lord, your circumstances
will have no power over you.
Remember, whatever you focus on will be
magnified. If you magnify the Lord, He will grow
larger until He is all you sense. If you magnify
the mess, then that is what you will see, taste,
hear, smell, feel, and experience in every aspect
of your life.
So let me ask you some questions. First, is
there a mess in your life that needs attention;
one you just can’t ignore? You can’t roll over,
ignore it, and go back to sleep. You can’t step
over it or go a different path and pretend it isn’t
there. It’s there whether you acknowledge it or
not, and everyone knows it. It’s the elephant in
the room, and that creature is stinking up the
place! Now is the time to deal with it.
Take some time and ask the Lord to help you
identify your mess. Evaluate your relationships,
habits, thought processes, finances, past
experiences, and emotions. Say to the Lord,
“Search me, God. Show me if there’s anything
offensive in me.” (See Psalm 139:23.) Then
commit to deal with every mess He shows you.
No one can deal with them except you. You
must be willing to go the extra mile with God.
So, are you willing to do the work? Are
you willing to address your mess and do
whatever it takes to clean it up, no matter
how hard the process? Are you willing to take
responsibility for your mess, whether or not you
caused it?
Going back to my story for a second, the
simple fact is, I didn’t make the mess. Mater
did. Nonetheless, I had to clean it up. No matter
how much I blamed Mater or waited for him
to step in, he wasn’t going to be a part of the
cleanup process. Mater was sick, and you know
what? Sick dogs (and sick people) make stinky
messes. Maybe you’ve been through a situation
with a family member, friend, stranger, spouse,
or child who has really messed up. They’ve
brought hurt and pain and other stenches into
your life. Friend, quit looking for them to step in.
They can’t, and they won’t.
As difficult and unfortunate as it may be, you
alone must go through this cleanup process. You
have to deal with your pain. You have to deal
with your fear, guilt, shame, anger, bitterness,
jealousy—whatever it is. You have to deal with
your marriage or other family relationships. You
have to deal with those habits that are destroying
your life and the lives of others. You cannot shift
the responsibility and blame to others and wait for
them to come fix your situation. They never will.
Most likely, they will continue on with life and
never give a second thought to what you are
going through or what they did to you. All you
can do is release them to the Lord and let Him
deal with them. You’ll also have to release the
people who come along and give you unwanted
advice or who even judge you. They have no
idea of your pain or where you are in the
process. But you can refuse to get angry. You
have to—it’s your key to victory.
Your stinky mess can either leave you bitter
or better. You can choose to live in total internal
chaos or in the peace of God. You can either
get mad, or you can let your situation teach you
a life-changing lesson. The choice is up to you.
Choose peace. V
whole world lieth in wickedness.” As long as the
world lies in the grip of wickedness, we might as
well accept the fact that unbelievers will mock and
make fun of us, no matter how we try to change
their opinion. From the beginning of time, the
lost world has ridiculed, made fun of, sarcastically
accused, and debased the people of God. As I
said, there is nothing new about this at all. It’s just
the way a lost world is going to act.
What I have described so far could be
something you’ve experienced in the past—or
perhaps it portrays a recent event that is still very
fresh in your memory. Rather than let other people
affect your self-image and confidence, however,
you need to know who you are in Jesus Christ and
hold your head up high! You are “accepted in the
beloved” (Ephesians 1:6), and you have no reason
to be embarrassed or ashamed.
You are accepted by God! The devil may try to
use some of your friends, your business associates,
your family members, or even your teachers in
school to make fun of you and drag you down. But
you don’t have to let the devil’s plan work against
you. In times like these, remember that Jesus was
also “despised and rejected of men” (Isaiah 53:3).
You are in good company with Jesus!
So if the world makes light of you or treats
you with contempt or disregards, neglects, and
overlooks you—take heart. You are exactly the
kind of person God wants to use! He has big
plans to use you as a demonstration of His mighty
power to your friends, your family, your business
associates, and the unbelieving world. V
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 37

OUR CONTRIBUTORS
RICHARD AMABILE p. 18
Richard serves the Lord behind bars as an
inmate at Avon Park Correctional. Through his
incarceration journey, Richard has discovered true
freedom through his relationship with Christ and
desires for others to do the same.
SARAH BECKMAN p. 7
Sarah is an author and speaker living in
Albuquerque, New Mexico. Her book, Alongside:
A Practical Guide for Loving Your Neighbor in
Their Time of Trial, is filled with practical ways
to support those you care about in the rough
patches of life—and the inspiration to follow
through. You can learn more at sarahbeckman.org
or alongsidebook.com.
ROY A. BORGES p.29
Roy writes about his life experiences from a
prison cell in Florida. His stories have appeared
in many Christian publications. Roy has won AMY
Foundation awards in 1998, 2002, 2003, and 2007.
TAMAR BURCH p. 8
Tamar is more than a wife, mother, and
grandmother. Her struggles with rejection were
the catalyst of who she has become today in
Christ. Now she finds great joy inspiring others to
find their hope in Christ. Tamar and her husband,
Tim, are active volunteers in their church as they
lead home life groups and mentor others.
MICHAEL CLARK p. 13
Michael is a minister and author who thrives on
sharing hope from God’s Word to help others
know God and experience His presence in their
lives. Learn more at michaelclarkministries.org.
LINDA CUBBEDGE-SMITH p. 14
Linda is the Victorious Living Prison
Correspondence Director. She is passionate about
the Lord and leading others to Him. Linda has four
children, ten grandchildren, and two great-grands.
KRISTI DEWS DALE p. 34
Kristi is a wife and the mother of four amazing
children. She holds a master’s degree in public
health and is an adjunct business instructor at a
local college in North Carolina. Kristi is passionate
about encouraging others with Christ’s love.
CHRISTA HICKS p. 16, 19
As Executive Director of Anti-Trafficking at One
More Child, Christa is grateful to share her
experience as a second-generation trafficking
survivor, her education, and her years of
professional growth to continuously better the
services available to children, teens, and young
adults being sold and exploited by others. Visit
onemorechild.org. Ms. Hicks’ article was made
possible by her ghostwriter, Diane Strack.
KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON p. 6, 36
A former world champion water-skier, Kristi is the
founder of In His Wakes and KOJ Ministries. She
encourages and equips people for victory through
her writings, speaking engagements, and prison
outreach. Kristi is the publisher of Victorious
Living and a multipublished author.
NANCY JOHNSON p. 24
An award-winning recording artist, Nancy has
been actively involved with prison ministry for
over a decade. She proudly claims two amazing
daughters and five wonderful granddaughters.
TRACY MORRISEY p. 15
Author, wife, and mother, Tracy is also a registered
nurse, and a graduate of East Carolina University.
Her mission is to obey God’s calling in her
life. Her first book, Just in Time, is available
online at tracymorrisey.com; amazon.com, and
barnes&noble.com.
KENNY MUNDS p. 33
Since January 1998, using Hebrews 13:3 as his
guide, Kenny has taken the good news of God’s
love and forgiveness into prisons across America.
To find out more about his ministry, go to
kennymundsministry.org.
JON PONDER p. 20, 23
Jon is the founder and CEO of HOPE for Prisoners,
Inc., an organization that facilitates reentry and
reintegration services to men, women, and young
adults who are exiting various segments of the
judicial system. As a former offender himself, Jon
knows the value of these services and is uniquely
equipped to provide the guidance, direction, and
motivation needed to successfully navigate the
challenges inherent to reentry.
RICK RENNER p. 32
Rick is the author of more than thirty books,
including his top-selling classics, Sparkling Gems
from the Greek and Dressed to Kill, which have
sold more than a million copies combined. A
highly respected leader, teacher, and author within
the Christian community, both in the United
States and abroad, Rick and his wife, Denise, have
traveled the earth for three decades, teaching the
Word of God. They reside in Moscow, Russia,
along with their three sons and their families.
Learn more about their ministry at renner.org.
GEORGE STARKS p. 30
Mr. Starks is a 94-year-old World War II veteran
who still enjoys sharing his WWII experiences.
He has recently released stories based on the
shoot-down of his B-17 in his book, Coffin Corner
Boys, written by Carole Engle Avriett. We thank
Ms. Avriett for her assistance in the writing of this
article.
KIM BRIAN WOERNER p. 31
Kim is currently residing at Avon Park Work
Camp. While in prison, he has received his
associate’s degree in ministry and is completing
his bachelor’s degree in ministry. Kim plans to
earn a master’s degree in Christian counseling
and, upon his release, work at a Christian halfway
house in South Carolina.
MICHAEL WOODS p. 10
Michael is the social media manager at First Baptist
Orlando. He and his wife, Linda, are raising their
three adult children and using their experiences
with autism to help other families find a new
normal in their lives.
A special thank you to our contributors, Clint
and Albert M., who are currently incarcerated
within the Department of Corrections. Thank
you, gentlemen, for serving the Lord behind
prison walls and for sharing your stories in
Victorious Living.
BONNIE HAGEMANN p. 35
Bonnie is the CEO of Executive Development
Associates, an internationally known boutique
consulting firm that specializes in executive
development, executive coaching, and highpotential
development. To date, Bonnie has more
than 40 published works to her name.
SO ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER AND BUILD EACH
OTHER UP, JUST AS YOU ARE ALREADY DOING.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:11
38 kojministries.org Issue 3 2018

FROM THE FATHER’S HEART
Peace Like a River
Are you experiencing victorious living?
Is your life filled with
purpose, love, joy, and peace?
Do you have hope for your future?
Forgiveness for your past?
Strength for your tomorrow?
Right now you might be thinking, “Are you kidding me? Joy, peace, purpose? Worth,
strength, forgiveness? I’ll never have those things! Look at where I am! Look at what I’ve been
through. Look at what I’ve done. Look at what has been done to me.”
Friend, right now, no matter what your past or present,
all of these things can be yours. You can have peace that passes
all understanding, joy in the midst of hardship, love and acceptance despite your failures,
forgiveness, and a fresh start. Your life can have purpose.
It doesn’t matter if you are sitting in a mansion or in a jail cell or somewhere in between,
a victorious life can be yours TodaY!
How? Through a relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
If you do not currently have a relationship with God, begin one right now. Romans 10:8–10
nkjv explains how: “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart…that if you
confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him
from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with
the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
As you accept what Christ has done for you and put your faith in Him
alone for salvation, you are then free to have a relationship with God and
experience His peace, power, presence, and love. You don’t have to do anything to earn God’s
love and forgiveness. It’s yours for the asking!
After you’ve received this free gift of salvation, guess what? You are then able to step into
the life of victory Christ died to give you—an abundant life of peace, joy, worth, love, and
purpose. As you grow in your relationship with Him through studying and applying the Word
of God and by trusting Him, these things are released in your daily life.
Will you pray with me right now and receive
all that God intends for you?
Dear Lord,
I confess that I am a sinner in need of salvation. I thank You for sending Your Son,
Jesus, to save me from my sins. Thank You that He laid down His life for me so that
I could have a new life in Him. I receive, by faith, this forgiveness of sin. I now give
my life, my past, and my future to You. Guide my steps and speak to my heart, Lord.
Amen
Receive My amazing love. It’s never ending, and it’s
always available to you. I am always available to you. I
love you. Yes, you!
You have been battling thoughts in your mind that
are contrary to My thoughts for you. Soak in my Word
and allow My promises to dismantle those lies and
distractions. My Word will annihilate and destroy every
tormenting thought. Keep your thoughts, your focus on
Me; I will give you peace like a river. My peace will flow
through every part of your being.
I know the answers you need. I know the problems
you face. I hear your cries. I have not forgotten you.
The answer is always before you, but those tormenting
thoughts and doubts prevent you from hearing and
seeing Me.
My Word will bring clarity of mind, and your decision
to praise Me and worship Me in the midst of your pain
and questions will release the answer. I inhabit the
praises of My people. Your praises will take your mind off
your problems and put them on Me, the Answer. And I,
the Answer, will reveal all you need to know and release
everything you need.
Trust Me. V
kojministries.org Issue 3 2018 39

I FOUND
A NEW
WAY TO
SHARE
Victorious Living
PO Box 120951
Clermont, FL 34712-0951
NONPROFIT
US POSTAGE
PAID
JACKSONVILLE, FL
PERMIT #1795
Although I am quite comfortable sharing
my faith in public arenas, doing so on
a one-on-one basis has always been
difficult for me. One of the reasons
I created Victorious Living was to have
a way to share the goodness of God
with people I meet on a daily basis in
a nonthreatening way. Victorious Living
is a great tool to share God's love and
miracle-working power with others.
It's a great tool for your own use too.
~Kristi Overton Johnson
Read Kristi’s story and more in the February 2018 issue,
available online at www.kojministries.org
Victorious Living
Get It. Give It. Use It.
Find out how you can change a life.
www.kojministries.org